I reckon we have to get Charlie back from London, we need somebody who can beat Porks. Nalin came close today, ditto JQ, but it was a case of Porks Supreme again this week (read last week’s blog too if you missed it).
Today’s stories.
Group 1: Raj, allegedly for the first time ever, hit his opening tee shot on the 1st into Charlie’s bush and it didn’t get much better from there (Net 75). Matt (Net 71 and 5th placed points) missed about 8 million putts by a whisker. He’s the first ever golfer to come off the course saying he left a few out there. Gordo went home early, no information other than great back 9 after not-so-great front (Net 72).
Group 2: Steady Stan was at it again (Net 70 and 4th placed points). Missed a few very gettable putts too, becoming the second ever golfer to come off the course saying he left a few out there. Dan birdied the 1st and we all know what that means, disaster awaits for the rest of the round, on this occasion including an 8 on the 2nd on the way to Net 81. Craig couldn’t back up from last week and had what he called a very ordinary day (Net 77).
Group 3 was the 3 beers group, including the rare feat of 2 beers by the same player on the same hole. Steve G was still standing behind the ladies as he hit his third shot on the 2nd and did well to keep the damage to an 8. He then added a third beer with his drive on the 3rd and his playing partners were already booking a taxi home, thinking a six pack was a chance by the end of the day. But Steve kept his beer slate clean from there on, equalling Dan in the NAGA chase with Net 81.
Andrew V in Group 3 had trouble remembering it wasn’t blue tee markers today and paid the price with a two-shot penalty for hitting off the blues on the 10th on his way to Net 73 (the penalty costing him a share of 5th placed points). For the other player in Group 3, see more below, unless you are sick of reading about him winning.
Group 4 had a stoush with the Burnley boys who failed to yell fore after a wayward tee shot on the 10th and narrowly missed hitting Nalin on the head as he walked down the 13th. Nalin kept his head and posted a Net 67 for second placed points. A birdie on the 11th was a highlight, along with a majestic 8 iron to 1.67 metres on the 18th (from the back left tee behind the tree) to collect the NTP ball there. Wazza had a shocker that included 5 putts on the 2nd but comfortably avoided NAGA honours with a Net 80.
The other bloke in Group 4 is renowned for shenanigans on the 17th once having a 13 there after dumping ball after ball in the lake and then following it up with a hole-in-one on the 18th. Today SoS managed an 11 on the 17th with a Porks twist. Having asked the group ahead on the 18th tee if they knew whether his drive got over the lake, Porks gave an answer that led SoS to believe it had gone in. He then took a penalty, dumped 3 shots in the lake before the next one got over the lake and bumped into a random ball next to the green. And …. you guessed it, the random ball was SoS’s original drive! SoS signed for an 11 and after no hole-in-one on the 18th a Net 82 and suggested Porks had robbed him of a certain eagle if he had been able to play his original ball.
Group 5: Marc rocked in with a smile on his face, the wry version and knocked off SoS to collect the NAGA with Net 84, including a 6 putt 10 on the 10th. CJ backed up last week’s 9 down with the equivalent of 12 down this week (Net 80). He was however happy to pocket the cash for the NTP Pro-pin on the 12th (4.4 metres).
JQ enjoyed the fine weather and had an impressive Net 68 for third place points. He drove the ball well all day long, including on the 6th where it was reported that his playing partners didn’t see him smash it down the middle as they were focussed on a couple of very shapely distractions of the fairer sex jogging along the road behind. The joggers seemed to enjoy the attention and tickled JQ’s fancy by saying “great shot” as they trotted off into the distance. Apparently, there was a delay until the joggers were out of sight before the rest of the group felt calm enough to hit their tee shots.
JQ had a brilliant chip-in on the 3rd and missed quite a few gettable birdie putts and yeah, you guessed it, he was another who said he left a few out there.
Prez Priems hacking his way down 10th enjoyed the sledge from Matt on the 13th as they crossed paths. “How’s it going” asked Prez to which Matt replied, “Let’s just say I have got you covered.” Prez promptly birdied the 11th, added another birdie on the 17th and let’s just say, with a Net 70 and 4th placed points, if you check the scores ….. just quietly (“make sure you put this in the blog please Michael, as I think you’ll find I have got Matt covered”).
So to Porks ….. how does a bloke playing off a four handicap have a double bogey on the 1st, a triple bogey on the 8th, bogey the last and shoot 70 off the stick for a Net 66. He had 5 birdies, including one on the 7th where he picked up the NTP ball, knocking off Dan. He also said he left a few out there (this is becoming a theme) with quite a few other chances for birdies not quite dropping.
Apart from the 1st and 8th holes Porks indicated it was the best round he had ever played. He is having some year. The world record for total championship points is there for the taking (remind me again what the world record is Harry). Having shot past the 100 points last week after his Match Play win he now has 150 in his sights. Last year’s winner managed 149.
Going back further into club history, CJ is comparing Porks with the famous David Primrose who won three championships in a row from 1999-2001. The headline for today probably should have been “Porks the new Primose”.
Meanwhile another question for you Harry. Most birdies in a round measured by average birdies per player. Today the field of 16 had 15 birdies. Average 0.9375 birdies per player. Is this a record? And if Porks hadn’t gone with fake news for SoS on the 17th we might have got the perfect 16 for 16! And if all those near miss birdie putts went in ……
Results for Saturday, 06 Sep 2025
1st Ryan Porker (66) 2nd Nalin Samaranayake (67) 3rd John Quinlan (68) 4th Stan Blackshaw (70) 4th Robert Priems (70) 5th Matt Hunt (71)
Seniors Results: 1st Stan Blackshaw (70) 1st Robert Priems (70) 2nd Matt Hunt (71) 3rd Gordon Hill (72)
Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Chris Priems BallPin No 1 – 7th Ryan Porker BallPin No 2 – 18th Nalin Samaranayake