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Ambrose by any other name would smell as sweet on 24 July 2017

Winners are grinners
How many birdies was that again?

Last week’s trip to the Bellarine apparently had its moments.  Particularly the moments when Chrispy worked out how to email a photo, and again, and again, and again…..Only a few were hardy enough to get themselves to the course again today but, despite that, there was a roll up of seventeen (and Ed who was on a promise and wouldn’t play unless he could be guaranteed to be home by 1200).  As it turned out the game went pretty quickly and Ed could just about have made it.  Blighty was also keen to get away.  Something to do with an important meeting at Jolimont.  The starters generously sent his team out first despite it being a group of four.  And they cracked right along and set a good pace that the groups of three had to work to keep up with.

The speed of play could easily have had something to do with the seven birdies that the team managed to score, with six of them on the back nine.  Whitey was speculating, during the round, about how many under par would be required to win and his favoured number was at least five or six.  So he wasn’t too far off the pace and the team came in with 63 off the stick for  54 nett.  The DRAG team (Dennis, Rob, Andrew and Gordon) played like a well oiled machine with Blighty leading the charge by driving like a demon while the others kept the ball rolling (figuratively speaking) with the chipping and putting.  Their round wasn’t without its moments though.  Rob’s drive on the 4th went well left and low heading into the trees in the hazard but in true Priems style the ball carved obediently to the right, missed every tree and finished pin high just off the green to the left.  Gordon must have left his good glasses at home as he had to ask a few times where the flag was.  Dennis took great delight in telling him every time, that it was on top of the stick.  Slow learner?

Now, there had been some discussion as to whether, since there was such a good roll-up, there should be Championship points awarded for the day.  Everybody was pretty keen on the idea, at least until it became clear which team was in second place.  And that team was Joe, Ryan, Bob and Keith.  And no, they don’t have it in for Joe, Ryan or Keith.  Now, this team was a good example of how not to manage your ball selection.  Despite Ryan driving or almost driving the green on some of the final holes, they were forced to use much less favourable locations to get the tee shot tallies up to scratch.  And when the out-standing (as distinct from outstanding) player played shots into hazards it started to get just a bit hairy towards the end but they still managed 66/57.  This team also caused more than a little trouble for the Club Captain as he read the results and couldn’t work out who Je, Bib and Kath were.  So confused, in fact, that he needed to be reminded to read out the winning team.

Just a fraction behind with the same gross were Simon, Chrispy and Allan.  Now, Simon was bragging about how many birdies he scored on his own on Thursday.  Today he was getting pretty excited about the birdies that he scored as part of a team so just imagine how excited he would get after a solo effort.  As for the rest, there were plenty of birdie chances but the putts would just not fall.  Matt and his team know the agony only too well after their four putts just lipped the hole and refused to fall on the 17th (the 18th was almost as bad, they just missed by more)

Confusion reigned supreme once more on the Nearest the Pin competition front.  Just to be clear.  There is one ProPin that is permanently on the 18th (despite what happened last week).  If the mobile (or 18th) ProPin jackpots, it stays on that hole until it is won.  So, despite the labelling on the box, the BallPin today was on the 12th and the winning shot was played by Chrispy who must have done really well to get inside the mark set by Gordo which was only a couple of metres out.  The big cohuna jackpot ProPin was on the 15th and SOS saved the day for his team by putting his drive to 3.91m.  Because of the confusion about which hole was which, Harry was having a conversation with himself about whether this was the ProPin or the BallPin which just happened to be in the midst of Whitey’s backswing.  The result of the downswing was far from spectacular and the ball did not make it to the red markers and so was technically a draughtie.  SOS agonised over whether to take the shout given the circumstances and being a team event and all but eventually decided that beer trumps team spirit any day.  Harry couldn’t bring himself to accept the offer so graciously made by Whitey.

The ProPin on the 18th was taken out by a shot from Jason, who was another one who had a good day off the tee today.  He placed it at 4.55m and as reported earlier, neither he nor his team-mates could read the break of the green to snare the birdie.

The time for the Annual Challenge weekend in Shepparton is drawing closer and there was quite a bit of discussion after the round.  People have probably been inspired by the tales emanating from the Bellarine weekend.  If you haven’t signed up, you would have to speak nicely to Gordon.  It might be possible to squeeze some more in, but no guarantee.  Another Major coming up in a couple of weeks so this is a big chance to catch up on Bob in the Championship Tables with a double lot of points up for grabs.  And we’ll have three weeks of Stableford in a row.  Bet nobody complains about that!  In the meantime, a Monthly medal and a round of Par to get out of the way first.

Results for Saturday, 24 June 2017
1st Andrew Blight, Gordon Hill, Rob Priems, Dennis Ward(63, 54) 2nd Keith Delzoppo, Bob McDonald, Ryan Porker, Joe Wagenecht(66,57)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Stephen O’Sullivan and team ProPin No 2 18th Jason Hopkins and team BallPin 12th Chris Priems and team

The Cah Cah Bird was about for the Par Competition on 17 June 2017.

Bobbie wins again
Look upon my works ye mighty……

The gathering around the first tee this morning was reminiscent of a penguin colony down in Antarctica where those fabled birds huddle around in groups and exclaim ‘Cah cah cahrikey it’s cold’  or words to that effect.  There was lots of blowing into clenched fists and the winter gloves and mittens were out.  SOS reckons he nearly lost three fingers with a jarring second shot on the first hole, his fingers were so cold.  But, despite the icy conditions, there was still one (fool)hardy soul out there in shorts.  The other eighteen were more sensibly dressed but there were no takers for Ed’s offer of a nice warm woolly beanie.  Probably, people thought that the pigeons might have been nesting in it.  All in all, a very good turn out considering the number of elites slumming it down the Bellarine although there could have been another attraction with the offer of double jackpot ProPins.

The course was a bit damp despite the lack of any recent rain and preferred lies were in place through the green.  Dale claimed he was merely taking a preferred lie when he sconed his second on the 10th and popped the ball half a metre in the air and moved it half a metre forward and left a hole in the turf that was only a bit less than half a metre (well maybe a couple of centimetres).  Other than that, there were no draughties reported today but there were a couple of close shaves.  And, once again the birdies were pretty thin on the ground considering the number of players in the field.  We could only rack up four between the lot of us and that lack of accuracy could explain the outcome of the par 3 events.

Michael had done his usual rounds of the greens before the start of play and as tee marshall he took the decision that the 18th, with the pin well back on the upper deck, would be too likely to Jackpot again and so, that was set as the BallPin and the two ProPins were nominated for the 12th and the 15th.  So, who do you think won a ball on the 18th?  Michael, of course, but at a reported 7.94m (measured for the inside ProPin) he would not have been in line for the money and his prediction was correct.  The 12th went close to remaining a clean skin but Joe did manage to get his ball within the limit and he collected a tidy little sum for his shot to 2.5m.  And, as for the 15th, you had better believe it, it has done the old Jackpot once again and so there will be a big pot to vie for again next week.  So, Chrispy got half his wish and has a good reason to chance his arm next week.

However, the man of the day was none other than Bobbie – again.  He claims you wouldn’t have collected much in the swear tin this week and coming in at the head of the pack with a +1 scoreline could go some way to explaining that.  At least he wasn’t able to blame the ‘volcanoes’ around the holes today because, in at least one instance, there was a visible depression from the collar around the cutting/extraction tool.  Bob’s lead in both Championship tables has extended even further as a result and the peloton is going to have to increase the pace or the break-away could very well have an easy sprint to the line at the end of the year.

Harry, to quote Keith on the tee at the 8th, was ‘playing like a man possessed’.  Needless to say the next two holes resulted in minus scores.  Thanks, Keith!  Still, a square card at the end of the day was a pretty fair result and it was up to Brendon to prove that it wasn’t a fluke and come in with that score as well.  Gordon managed to come in third place with a score of -1.  He did this despite putting his drive OOB on the 13th.  The second shot with his second ball came up short of the green from where he proceeded to chip it in for his square result.  Michael, who was having a bit of a one on one competition with Gordo had a similarly adventurous time.  From a drive that finished close to the hazard on the left his second went close to OOB.  His chip onto the green hit the pin and stopped less than half a metre from the hole.  What should have been a tap-in putt for the par wasn’t.  Several holes later, Gordon was still reminding Michael about what a crap putt it was on the 13th.  Despite the set-back and the sledging, Michael still managed a -2 and took out 4th place.

There was a quadruplet filling 5th place with a quadruple of minuses with Simon, Brent, Joe and Dennis each collecting a point in their quest for the Club Championship.  Simon wasn’t 100% happy with his performance today because, apparently, somebody slipped two stupid-pills into his plate of Weeties this morning.   But, he had been warned that number 20 was probably last Thursday week.  Dennis has recovered well from his bout of surgery and maybe they fixed his golf-swing as well as his plumbing.  Brent had been playing his driver very evenly, one went right, the next one went left and so on.  He took it out on the 8th and left a scorch mark right in the dead centre of the club, the ball went absolutely straight and cleared the fence around the billabong on the first hop.

Allan really enjoyed at least three holes of golf today, the other fifteen, not so much.  One of those was the 18th, where the prospect a winning a ball prompted him to take out his driver to make sure he got it up (the ball up the hill that is).  The resulting shot would have done proud a 65degree wedge as it flew high in the air and finished not far past the red markers.  Trevor walked the course today, just to see whether he could and plans were in place for a rescue if required.  But, he did make it around so well done Trev.  His score was a bit off the pace so maybe the extra exertion did take its toll.

Bob scored a bogie on the 16th but it was very nearly a par when his chip onto the green hit another ball and deflected to finish mere millimetres from the hole.  Probably down to his years bent over a billiards table practicing his in-off shot.  On the 8th, Targe very carefully lined up his approach shot after removing the GUR marker and generally pfaffing about.  There was one tree root protruding above the ground, the ball hit it and flew across the green as far as the OOB fence.  A ‘Targe special’ putter shot from a lie that nobody else could have played (according to reports) near as dammit hit the pin.  But it didn’t, as did the putt back.  Nearly almost, but not quite.

MattH was with us today and he resulted in heaps of confusion and multiple recounts of the number of cards submitted.  He had to rush off to other commitments and had entrusted somebody to submit his inside comp card to Reception.  But we shouldn’t blame Matt for whoever left it in with our lot.  Bob marked his card – just sayin’.  The other MattN joined us for the second time today and we add another welcome to the Club.  And, while on the topic of welcomes, there was no footie at the Darklands this weekend and so the other DennisT was also out with us.  But he didn’t succeed in replacing his Darklands pay with the booty from the ProPin

Next week is our Solstice Social Day with an Ambrose event.  We will be endeavouring to fill each team with an even distribution of handicaps so it would be good if everybody can make the effort to get to the course a bit earlier to give enough time for the teams to be filled properly and fairly.  A copy of the rules will be emailed to everybody.  Everybody seems to have enjoyed the event last year and, besides, there is a heap of money up for grabs on one of the ProPins.

Results for Saturday, 17 June 2017
1st Bob McDonald(+1) 2nd Harry Boughen(□) 2nd Brendon Mitchell(□) 3rd Gordon Hill(-1) 4th Michael Gourlay(-2) 5th Simon Powell(-4) 5th Brent Rowley(-4) 5th Joe Wagenecht(-4) 5th Dennis Ward(-4)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (+1) 2nd Harry Boughen (□) 3rd Gordon Hill (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Joe Wagenecht ProPin No 2 15th Jackpot BallPin 18th Michael Gourlay

There was foggy, foggy dew at Ivanhoe on 10 June 2017

Rob wins with bugger all in his bag.
If only I’d played Damo this week…..

There were very few fair young maids out and about this morning wanting to be kept from the foggy, foggy dew that enveloped the course to varying degrees until nigh on midday when the sun finally battled its way through the murk and some of the layers could be removed.  Other than by those hardy types who still ventured out in their shorts and tee shirts.  The numbers were down a bit, probably not solely due to the fog, being a long weekend and all (Happy Birthday Queenie), but they were boosted by the presence of Papa who put in his third card and two new faces in David Mullenger and Matt Nichols.  David and Matt both have GA handicaps and so were able to walk straight into competition although David does claim to be a bit rusty after a break from the game.  The fog might also be able to take some credit for the fact that there were only 5 birdies today and the ProPins on the 15th and 18th have jackpotted yet again.  Except that the fog had pretty much cleared by the time the field got that far around the course so maybe it was just below par golf though there was obviously little of that.  The BallPin on the 12th did go off however and Michael added another Titleist to his growing collection

After the disappointment of his performance in his match against Damo last week, Rob came back with a vengeance and, except for a glitch on the 6th had a pretty impressive card to street the field by 7 points with 41 of the Stableford variety to play with.  And, to top is all off, Rob had to shout a round for a draughtie on the 17th, which he managed to par and score three points on.  When you’re hot, you’re hot.  Rob has a nice new handicap to work with and he has an extra incentive to go even better when Chrispy swore he would retire from the game if Rob’s handicap ever got below his.  That’s brotherly love/rivalry for you.

Dale had something of a sinister look about him today with a black hat/beanie that closely matched his, seemingly bushier than ever, beard in colour and texture.  But, the look did absolutely no harm to his game as he was able to put together 34 points to take second place while doing his handicap no harm at all.  As always, it could easily have been better.   Just a point behind were Michael and Chrispy who both owned to expecting maybe a point with 33 on the card but they both accepted the three on offer with alacrity.  There were no reports as to whether Michael has mastered his No1 iron or that he is planning to reclaim his ‘Collingwood’ putter from Chrispy.  Maybe the new ‘Essendon’ putter went OK.

Blighty took a while to get his range in the fog but he smartened up considerably on the back nine to come home with 32 into 4th place.  On Thursday, Simon reckoned he had ‘cracked’ it and was looking forward to repeating his five pars and three birdies in the ‘real’ world of competition.  Maybe Thursday was number 20, Simon.  There’s no telling what Noodles might have cracked during the week but he was able to equal Simon and take away a point as well.

When asked how he went, Jason opined that it was a good walk spoiled which could easily summarise the feelings of a few others as well.  There was one suggestion that players should carry one of those flashing LED lights when it is foggy so that those behind can better gauge when they are out of range as the grey shadows visible on some fairways could have been anywhere from 50m to 150m.

Simon’s score might have been better if at least five of his putts had rolled another centimetre.  Keith had a few similar experiences but he was loath to blame it on the ‘volcanoes’ around the holes that cause so much distress for some.  Harry had no such problems on the 15th when his second putt was longer than his first which was a mere metre and a bit.  The third was marginally shorter.  Matt, being a new player, was appraised of the ‘draughtie’ rule when he shanked his drive from the 12th back up the 11th fairway.  Simon had his theodolite out to establish the line through the red markers but it was ultimately determined that the ball probably was ‘just’ in front of the line though Matt reckoned at least a metre.

Next week could be a good week to hit the fairways.  There is a heap of money up for grabs for the double jackpot ProPins and there will be quite a few absences due to a weekend away down the Bellarine.  So, a good chance to get some much needed points and a wad of the folding stuff as well.  That should bring them out of the woodwork.  And, no, the ProPins won’t be held over just because Chrispy will be away.

Results for Saturday, 10 June 2017
1st Robert Priems(41) 2nd Dale Webb(34) 3rd Michael Gourlay(33) 3rd Chris Priems(33) 4th Andrew Blight(32) 5th Stephen Butterfield(31) 5th Simon Powell(31)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Blight (32) 2nd Simon Powell (31) 3rd Dennis Ward (30) 3rd Keith Delzoppo (30)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 12th Michael Gourlay




June Monthly Medal – 3rd June 2017

Shiny New 1 Iron (or old)

21 members were in full swing for June’s monthly medal. Scores were a little down on normal and course conditions were tricky with quite a few clumps of mud finding themselves attached to the round thing, “it surely must be preferred lies” was heard more than once. After being in some less than ideal form (based on his own assessment) Michael ended up on top with a stellar performance and a nett score of 66 to take out top spot.

Michael attributed to the turn around to taking some inspiration from Gordon, and had acquired a brand new second hand 1 iron  from gumtree during the week. 1988 Ben Hogan apex redline to be exact. Although his only use during the day was less than spectacular it must have brought a little bit of luck. Not too far behind and a little bit short was Targe who ended up on a score of 69 and a very consistent round and second place.

There was a match play game played out between Damian and Rob. Damian has to give Rob a shot on 10 holes and Damian was complaining that they were all on the par 3’s so it was difficult to make amends. (last count there were only 5 par 3’s at Ivanhoe). Nonetheless Damian was able to hang onto a small lead for most of the day, however by the 18th Rob had come back only be 1 hole behind. With an extra shot on the 18th, there was every chance that the match would end in a chip off.  Damian only managed a bogie, and Rob had a chance to tie things up but missed a couple of gettable puts to come up short and hand Damo the match 1 up.

With Damo’s matchplay win he was able to secure 3rd place with nett 71 and was tied with Dennis Ward who is back after a few weeks away. 4th place was also shared by Mehmet and Craig C who were one shot further back, and 5th place was held by Blighty and Dale with a nett 73. Senior placings went to Targe, Dennis and Craig.

There was only 10 birdies throughout the day, which is a little low compared to the numbers. Maybe it was the conservative play for a stroke round, or maybe it was another reason. Both of the pro pins on the 15th and 18th holes also went begging and are jackpots for next week. Well worth attending next week as there is a bit of cash in those two holes.

The ball hole was on the 4th hole and Michael thought he had it in the bag as he slotted one close with his 9 iron. Not to be outdone however, it was reported that SOS pulled out his putter and hit it closer again to take out to win himself a shiny new pro V1. There were also two new members who played today, Jake Priems placed in his 3rd card and Michael P also put in his second card. Odds on it wont be long for these two to start taking out some points as has been the case of recent times with new members.

There are only 4 members left in the match play! Damian will play Eddie for a spot in the final, and Pepsi is to play Michael G. All four are what is classified as lower handicappers so it will be interesting how things pan out.

Results for Saturday, 03 June 2017
1st Michael Gourlay(66) 2nd Targe Mifsud(69) 3rd Damien Lee(71) 3rd Dennis Ward(71) 4th Mehmet Akdag(72) 4th Craig Cameron(72) 5th Andrew Blight(73) 5th Dale Webb(73)

Seniors Results: 1st Targe Mifsud (69) 2nd Dennis Ward (71) 3rd Craig Cameron (72)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 4th Stephen O