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Masks should have been compulsory on 26 February 2022.

Two bandits
I don’t mind sharing.

What a day! Another beautiful, balmy sort of a day. The coffee boy took pity on us again and set most of the tees well forward. Still no significant rain, so the run available just keeps getting better and better. Unfortunately, this means that the bare patches are getting barer, and the number of lies between tussocks is increasing exponentially (or so it seems). You would have to say that conditions were ideal for the fifteen members and one guest to shoot the lights out as far as scoring went. For some, it looked as if the lights were just out.

As of last night, the wearing of masks is no longer compulsory. For a couple of members, they probably should have kept theirs on. Not because of any risk from COVID. Only because of the risk of being hung for being a bandit. As early as the 12th tee, Trev was predicting massive cuts to Brent’s handicap, with thirty points and four birdies to his name. That birdie run meant that Brent was responsible for a fair proportion of the ten that we carded for the day. It was suggested that Trev was just trying to put the mockers on him, and whether this was the case or not, Brent only managed an additional twelve points in seven holes to finish with a very impressive 42 points for the round. Brendon, on the other hand, had only managed to score 27 points by the same stage of the round. However, he was able to rack up 15 points for the seven holes to bring his score to 42 to share the honours with Brent. Brendon claimed not to be aware that he would only lose half a stroke for winning, so he should be happy with his ‘slight’ reduction.

RodG hasn’t been all that regular in recent times, and only racked up his second game for the year today. The Thursday nine holes seem to have formed a pretty good basis for practice, rating a podium finish in both outings and a very impressive strike rate of four after today’s tally of 35 points was good enough to fill second place with daylight between there and first. Stan started off like a house on fire and looked set to emulate the two Brens with ten points after four holes. Unfortunately, the putting left him for a few holes and a series of three putts cost him dearly. He regained some of his mojo on the back, and managed to roll home into third place, just one point behind Rod on 34 points.

Here’s where things deviate a bit from the announced placings. It seems that there was a bit of a cross-over between Club cards and GA cards. Gordon, played pretty impressively on the front nine, and was right up there with a chance when he turned with 20 points to his name. Things went a little cross-wise on the back, and he could only scrape up another 13 to finish with 33 to take out the 4th spot on the podium. ChrisJ also put in a bit of a slump on the back nine to scrape into 5th place with his 32 points. Targe probably isn’t used to his recent handicap cuts and claimed a point where one was not due, and that dropped him back into his share of fifth. Reports have it that Porks ‘played up’ a bit last weekend with the Punter’s, so that could explain the rather nasty run of gashes and singletons that limited his total to 32 points and a share of fifth as well.

Things looked as if they were going to be a bit of a feast for Brent today after he managed to put his name on two of the three NTP cards, including the jackpot ProPin on the 4th. Unfortunately, Gordo put paid to that little hope when he lobbed his in to 2.86m, and he was the recipient of ‘more shrapnel than Ukraine’ as one member so indelicately put it. Brent also had his name on the BallPin on the 15th, until old smiley face, Brendon, came along and rained on the parade. For the ball on the 18th, Stan was not confident that his shot would be close enough to stand. That premonition proved to be correct, and the ball went to ChrisJ.

We welcomed a potential new member, Geoff Lyall, today for his first card outing with us. Geoff has played a bit of social golf and is a bit out of practice, but when he hits the ball it certainly does stay hit. When he hit a tree, it stayed hit and the ball travelled so far back that he had to retreat some 50 or 75 metres or so to play his next shot. Welcome to the Club, Geoff. Speaking of shots that finish further away than where they start, Trev was on the bottom deck of the 18th and suffered the indignity of his putt not making it up the hill and coming to a stop further down the green than where it started. Whether more than one attempt repeated the performance is not clear, but there were reports that he took four putts to get it to stay on the top deck.

Old Reliable wasn’t on his top form today and put one on the 17th into some deep rough that required an ‘axe’ shot to get it out. Ryan’s day was not all bad. Or was it. On the 16th, he was behind a tree with what appeared to be an impossible shot to the green. A shot, best described as a shank, achieved the ‘impossible’ and put the ball onto the green for the putt to produce a par for the hole. And, while on the subject of shanks, SOS was noticed sending a ball in what was obviously not the intended direction at one stage.

Goss from the Punter’s has been pretty thin on the ground, so maybe it is a matter of what happens at the Punter’s stays at the Punter’s. There have been some leaks however (sounds just like Parliament!). There was at least one ‘air swing’, and that was in a chipping competition that was played after the round. It is not clear how many gin shots preceded the air shot. One thing that was probably fairly predictable was that the punting was not profitable, despite pulling in a couple of quaddies. Top marks went to JQ and Gordo for manning the spit roasts and keeping the hungry beasts fed. Mehm and Porks, saved them from going thirsty, which could have been the reason that SOS was noticed using the couch on a number of occasions. BrentR won the golf under fairly benign conditions and, despite a bit of a ‘choke’ on the last three holes for no points, El Presidente, Rob, filled the second spot. Pepsi tallied up enough points to be awarded third place.

Despite what the Calendar says, the AGM will not be held next week. Various matters have prompted the Committee to postpone it until 26th March. Notice of the meeting will be distributed shortly. In the meantime, give some consideration to who you would like to run the Club for the next year. All Committee positions will spill, and it is open to any member to be nominated to stand for any of the positions. The list of positions available can most easily be found in the Committee Members item under the Contacts tab on the web-site. Committee Nomination Forms are also available for download from the website in the left hand panel on a PC. Unfortunately, it is a bit of a scroll on a mobile.

Results for Saturday, 26 February 2022
1st Brent Loeskow (42) 1st Brendon Mitchell (42) 2nd Rod Grant (35) 3rd Stan Blackshaw (34) 4th Gordon Hill (33) 5th Chris James (32) 5th Targe Mifsud (32) 5th Ryan Porker (32)

Seniors Results: 1st Rod Grant (35) 2nd Stan Blackshaw (34) 3rd Gordon Hill (33)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Gordon Hill BallPin No 1 – 15th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 2 – 18th Chris James

Punters were in short supply on 19 February 2022

Craig Camerons home.
How reliable it is…..

For a while there, it looked as if there might be a field of one. After a stir up, the numbers trickled in, and we had enough for a competition with a couple to spare. A subsequent withdrawal meant that, in the end, there were seven ‘non-punters’ who took to the field, and questions were being asked, would anybody miss out on points or would all of the points on offer need to be allocated? It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the whole world was happy. The course was well mowed, and the greens were good, if a little littered with fallen leaves and bark. The ground was quite dry and there were even a few cracks showing in places, and some bare patches made for some awkward lies if you were unlucky enough to finish in that particular spot. There was plenty of run to be had, and the low trajectory ball often had much to recommend it. So much so, that Keith’s drive on the 8th won the long drive for the group by a considerable margin.

Keith on the tee
This is the second tee???

Another factor that could have contributed to the potential for good scoring was the fairly benign set-up of the course. Whether this was in compensation for the tee placements at Moonah or not, but the placement on the second, in particular, came in for comment as something the likes of which had not been seen before. What’s the bet that the hole will be about 100m longer next week! The conditions obviously suited Old Reliable, who managed not to stray too far from the straight and narrow to card 74 off the beater and a very respectable total of +3 points.

ChrisJ started off with a flurry with a massive drive, a pitch onto the green and sank the putt for the birdie. Despite the forward tee, the second hole did not produce a similar flash of brilliance, with erratic ball contact playing havoc with the outcome. And so, the standard of his game oscillated for the balance of the front nine to finish the half at one under the pace. Things settled down for the back half, and a final result of plus 2 was not to be sneezed at. Targe earned the sobriquet of The Professional from a lone golfer who joined in to complete the second group when he started out, also in fine style. The little fellah also picked up his game a notch on the back and, despite missing numerous putts by mere millimetres, he managed to snare a share of second place and to continue the whittling away of his obviously over-generous handicap.

Michael has had a bit of a break from golf for a number of reasons, not least of which was a dicky knee, that did cause him some concern that he might be coming back too soon. His fears were largely unfounded, as he seemed to take up exactly where he left off, if not a little better, as is often the case after a break. If it had not been for a few putts that missed by a whisker, the bottom line might have been rather better than the +1 that resulted. It should be added that a couple of ‘putts’ from off the green holed, so maybe it was swings and roundabouts.

BrentL seems to have been completely unfazed by the rather steep fall in his handicap, and today he played right to the mark to take out the fourth spot. Brent had his chances, and a bit of a slump in the middle of the back nine made all the difference between a good break and the square result that eventuated. Harry’s front nine fell victim to the ‘just missed putt’ syndrome as well, much to the frustration of Michael, who could not help but suggest some small change in set-up or technique. Michael felt much vindicated when H smashed a long putt on the 14th, to the dead-centre of the pin, where it dropped in for the birdie. This was one of seven for the day, which is not such a bad total from the small field. H’s back nine was much improved over the front, and he was able to eke out the fifth placing with his final total of -4. Yes, he knows he should be embarrassed to accept it, but a point is a point!

Unfortunately, the lack of more tied scores meant that one person did miss out on getting a point today. Won’t mention any names, but he did appear briefly on television recently. The ProPin today was on the 4th, and, although the green was well surrounded, nobody did manage to get close enough to claim the $7 on offer, so the Pool will jackpot to be contested again next week. The first BallPin was on the 12th, and Michael thought he was in with something of a chance. That is, until Old Reliable came along and spoiled the party and collected the ball on offer. It was a different story for the second BallPin on the 18th, where Michael was unworried by any competition and collected the ball in that case.

The Matchplay seeding draw will be made after the round next week. If you want to be in it and have not registered, then you had better do so sooner rather than later. No registration, no place in the comp. Last year’s finalists who register will be seeded 1 to the number registered. The rest of the seed positions will be filled by draw from the hat, and the standard 32 player single elimination table will be filled as appropriate. That is, No1 plays No 32, 2 plays 31 etc. Less than 32 in the draw means byes in the first round for the top seeds. We currently have fewer than 32 registrations.

Results for Saturday, 19 February 2022
1st Craig Cameron (+3) 2nd Chris James (+2) 2nd Targe Mifsud (+2) 3rd Michael Gourlay (+1) 4th Brent Loeskow (‚Ė°) 5th Harry Boughen (-4)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (+3) 2nd Targe Mifsud (+2) 3rd Michael Gourlay (+1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 12th Craig Cameron BallPin No 2 – 18th Michael Gourlay

Saturday February 12, 2022 – Stableford Competition

Perfect conditions yet again at old Ivanhoe greeted 15 members on a Sunny Summers morning. It was good to see Blighty, Beast and Adam for their first rounds for the year and none other than Adam put in a consistent days play to be the solitary player to play under his handicap. 1st place on 38 points was the final score with no wipes scored at all for the round.

Ever reliable Craig was not too further back on 35 points and after the round he was telling everyone that unfortunately he has to make the trek to Tassie this week for 7 rounds of golf over 5 days. What a tough life. Craig’s round also included a birdie on the hardest hole on the course (arguably) on the 13th, which was one of around 9 scored for the day.

Andrew’s return also included a birdie on the 12th and his name on the pro pin sheet, but porks wrecked his day and put his tee shot just inside the marker to 2m to steal the cash. Nonetheless both ended up with equal scores on 34 points and a share of 3rd place. Porks started his round pretty poorly with a few early double bogies but the enticement of a free beer sparked his round after a bet with Bill for a beer on the same 12th hole.

JQ was quietly plodding along nicely and ended just shy of his handicap with 33 points. Some could have thought he was looking after his handicap before the punters club trip next week.¬† Not to be outdone, Harry and Trevor both rounded out the placings with 32 points. Trev’s round included two holes of 4 pointers and he had also twanged his back a little on the 9th but soldiered on to complete the round strongly nonetheless.

Craig was the leader in the seniors followed by Andrew in second. Harry and Trevor also shared 3rd place. There were no reported drafties but some very close calls. Stan just cleared the red markers on the 15th, Targe was saved by an OOB/draftie combo on the 3rd by a skinny little bush which flicked his ball just in front of the red markers.

The first ball hole prize was on the 7th hole and the tee markers were three quarters back which was a bit of a challenge. Matty brushed this aside and ended up pin high which was close enough to win. The 18th hole wasn’t as much of a challenge with a front tee and pin position although by the end of the last group no one had claimed to have reached the green. Bill was still cursing to himself after enticing porks earlier with a bet for a drink and decided to double down on the 18th, but again this just resulted in another tee shot from porks to 1.7m. Gordon was less than impressed when reading out the results with porks on the markers again.

Reminder to all to register for the matchplay competition which starts in 3 weeks. Harry reports that 22 members have registered so there are still quite a few that have not indicated their preference. Registration is at the top of the clubs website. It takes about 26 seconds to complete. Do it now.

Results for Saturday, 12 February 2022
1st Adam King (38) 2nd Craig Cameron (35) 3rd Andrew Blight (34) 3rd Ryan Porker (34) 4th John Quinlan (33) 5th Harry Boughen (32) 5th Trevor Jackson (32)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (35) 2nd Andrew Blight (34) 3rd Harry Boughen (32) 3rd Trevor Jackson (32)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin Р12th Ryan Porker BallPin No 1 Р7th Matt Hunt BallPin No 2 Р18th Ryan Porker

Some got Cocky on 05 February 2022

Easy come easy go
Sometimes, you just get lucky!

What a lovely day for golf. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the whole world was happy. Except, maybe, for Joe, who was just one of the seventeen members who stepped up to the white markers (mostly) for the February Monthly Medal. The cause of Joe’s consternation had Ben rolling in the aisles as he recounted the tale again and again as each group fronted up to the tables after the round. It seems that Joe had played his third shot onto the 13th green about a metre from the hole, and Joe was as pleased as Punch with his effort. A flock of cockatoos had been making a good job of tearing up the green, and one of them decided that he liked the look of Joe’s ball and flew off with it. Joe placed another ball on the spot and then set off in pursuit of the felonious bird. There were suggestions that Joe would have to play the ball ‘as it lies’ even if it was still in the bird’s beak. No sooner had Joe turned his back than another bird purloined his replacement ball. As he eye-balled the wayward cocky, it could almost be imagined that it was laughing at him as it perched and shrieked, ball still firmly held in its beak. To add insult to injury, Joe missed the putt (when he eventually got around to it), and the blame was firmly placed on the head of the cockatoo(s). In the same pantomime, Targe’s ball went missing, and it had to be assumed that it too had appealed to one of the hungry, but not too discerning, birds.

New Brent(L) had one of those days. He was absolutely creaming his tee shots. On the 5th, he went close to driving the green. When the occasional one went astray, such as on the 11th, when he finished out in the middle of the 6th, Rob said, not to worry, over the trees onto the green and putt. Wouldn’t you know it, that is exactly what he did for the birdie, four points and one of the nine that we managed as a group for the day. Two bogies on the rest of the back resulted in a one over for the nine and a net 60 for the round. Farewell to a handicap of seventeen.

Gordon came in bewailing the number of putts that he had missed that prevented him from producing a better score. When he totted up the number that he reckoned he missed, he still wouldn’t have beaten Brent, and so he was happy that he hadn’t come second with net 61 instead of net 67. And while on the subject of missed putts, el Presidente seemed to be claiming that he had missed about 20 par putts, and that didn’t include the holes that included double figures and fat ladies on the card. At least he could console himself with the fact that he didn’t rack up any frothies today. Bob’s day was both good and bad. The good was that his cart made it around without incident, although he now reckons it is harder work than using a push cart. The bad was that he managed an airie during the round.

Ben decided that he should leave his driver in the bag as he was hitting his hybrid 180m and straight. Sounds like a good, if not cunning, plan. He almost had conniptions on the 12th where his ball flew straight for, and hit the pin. Unfortunately, it didn’t drop in and actually bounced back several metres to be in contention for the first BallPin. Unfortunately, Rob was able to make use of the Priems shot shape to halve that distance to take out the prize for that hole. He sank the putt for the birdie. The upshot of all this is that Ben came in with his favourite number to take out third place for the day.

Just a shot further back, we find a pair of likely types in Porks and Brent(R) who took a share in fourth place. Porks was taking a bit of a ribbing from SOS and Pepsi as they deemed that he was taking too much time over his approach (second) shot to the 14th green from about 12m out. They were rather shame-faced when he proceeded to put it into the hole for an eagle and, in so doing, he ripped eight eggs out from under the nesting eagle. The eagle is reported to be inconsolable. Brent was a bit scratchy on the front nine, but he managed fours on seven of the nine holes on the back. His drive on the 16th went high wide and handsome to finish well out onto the 14th fairway, but, unperturbed, he lofted it over the trees and onto the green to keep the run of fours going with a couple of putts. Stan, the Man, ended up in 5th place with his 71 after CJP mistakenly submitted both cards to us but, unfortunately, his inside card doesn’t count for our competition. While on the subject of CJ, he was resplendent in a brand-new hat today that he reckons he needs to preserve his delicate skin. Also, he went close to being penalised for playing from the blue markers on the 14th hole. The saving grace was that the blues were further back than the whites and were probably (just) within the allowed two club-lengths.

The second BallPin was, as usual, on the 18th green. The pin was on the bottom deck and Porks put his tee shot onto the top deck and, being first on, he was eligible to put his name on the chit. His first putt did not get off the top deck, and another three were required to finally hole out. It didn’t really matter, though, as nobody else got onto the green, and he still got the ball despite the score and the four putts. The story was a bit better on the 15th, where his tee shot finished 4.34m from the pin, and that was more than enough to take out the ProPin.

The birthday wishes for Bob last week were just a little premature, as it is this week that the big day comes around. The other big event coming up for Bob will be his 900th game with the Club next time he plays. The other birthday celebrant this week will be Brent(R). Have a good one, guys, and don’t drink too much champagne.

Harry was a bit erratic with his third shot to the 13th green and the ball bounced on the path, and he didn’t see where it finished. Directions were a bit vague from his playing partners, but there was a ball perched halfway up the steep slope on the far side of the path. A couple of shots saw the ball on the green when it was discovered to be the wrong ball. The exercise was repeated with the correct ball and the resulting eight made the round only marginally worse than it had been all day. Keith was being touted as the new ‘old reliable’ last week, but it seems that he was rather less reliable today, and missed a number of putts from close range (reportedly as little as 25mm, but the dobbers might have been exaggerating). Bob reckoned that he had been out-effed by Pepsi, but we only have his word for that.

Results for Saturday, 05 February 2022
1st Brent Loeskow (60) 2nd Gordon Hill (67) 3rd Ben Akdag (69) 4th Ryan Porker (70) 4th Brent Rowley (70) 5th Stan Blackshaw (71)

Seniors Results: 1st Gordon Hill (67) 2nd Stan Blackshaw (71) 3rd Chris Priems (72)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Ryan Porker BallPin No 1 – 12th Robert Priems BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker

Eagle’s Nest Results: Eagle – 14th Ryan Porker