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There were no Pork Pies on 27 February 2021.

Porks is all thumbs (up)!
Some days are diamonds, some days are pearlers!

As the meteorological summer comes to an end, you could be forgiven for thinking that the ‘real’ autumn had already arrived. Or, as they said when Darwin was being bombed – there’s a little nip in the air! But that is probably not the reason that we only had fourteen members line up and, thanks to Stef bringing along his Dad, Jim, we had fifteen players for a nice round five groups of three. The generally dry conditions means that there is a certain amount of run to be had, and a certain ‘reliable’ member doesn’t seem to fancy himself as a mud runner. He wasn’t quite as reliable today and was spotted straying from his designated fairway on at least one occasion. Rumour has it that there was some good form on display at the Punter’s Club weekend, and it seems that the extra training at Moonah and St Andrew’s Beach carried over to this weekend.

Personal Bests don’t turn up all that often, particularly when you have been playing the game for a while. Today was one of those days when Porks went close to joining that exalted group who have equalled or bettered the par for the course. Reports have it that he ‘left a few’ out there and could/should have done better than his 69 off the stick for a very handy 42 points.

Other than running Harry down with his cart at the tee-marshal’s counter, Bob could do little wrong today, particularly on the front nine where the putter was working a treat to bring him in with a ‘out’ score of 23 points. The nice round eighteen on the back was plenty to grab a share of second place. Pepsi was looking around for a cage there were so many birdies rolling in. There were five in all, and three of them were on holes that he had a stroke for a nice collection of four pointers. On the second, he went within a michael-hair of scoring an eagle when his second ran across the edge of the hole and finished less than half a metre past. With a gash and three one-pointers, who knows what the score might have been.

MattH turned up looking a bit scruffy this morning, but that was not a carry-over from last weekend. Though it does seem that a trip down to Bairnsdale last Monday made him pleased that he didn’t have to drive. Matt can’t decide whether to get a haircut or hope that the mullet makes a comeback before the powers-that-be notice. It didn’t seem to affect his golf though, but perhaps the cap kept it out of his eyes. His 38 points was matched by CJ and Ken who both had their fair share of ‘could have been better’. That particularly applies to Ken’s tee shot on the 10th that only barely made it past the red markers. It should be pointed out that the reds were only about 300mm in front of the blues.

Damo reckons he will be pleased to see more of Stef’s Dad, who put in his first card today, by the way, because he reckons that he has never seen Stef so well behaved. This obviously had a beneficial effect and Damo was able to protect his handicap nicely with a score-line of 36 points. Targe is a bit upset about the rules for the duck season this year, and he is going to ask for a refund on his shooters licence. Good luck with that! He still managed to tie it up with Damo and do his handicap no harm.

Thanks to Bob, Harry is nursing a nicely bruised ankle, and Stef and Noodles are getting a point after Bob and his marker missed his last double stroke hole (again). So, overall some very good scoring and some nicely adjusted handicaps as a result.

The first BallPin was on the 4th, and Gordo was the one to collect a pill for a very nice shot that finished not too far away. Gordo was noticed moping around on the 10th tee and saying that he felt like the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz as he had lost his (golf) heart, and his favourite light blue tee. It made his day when Harry presented it (the light blue tee, not his heart) to him after the round. There was a bit of an interloper for the BallPin on the 18th, but Stef came to the rescue and got one of our members names on the chit. The Jackpot ProPin on the 15th proved elusive and there will be a Double Jackpot next week. The birdie count for the day was a pretty impressive 16, so we really did need a cage.

The Matchplay draw for seeding was done after the match with the 21 members who had registered drawn out of the hat (well a little plastic tub at any rate). The balance of the positions were filled by a ‘vote’ of members for those who they ‘felt sure’ would play. The table is up on the web-site under the Competitions tab. The person on the top of the draw is responsible for arranging the match and reporting the result. If both members are present the match must be played. The first round must be completed on or before 03 April.

Next Saturday will be the Annual General Meeting of the Club. All Committee positions will be spilled and anybody is eligible to nominate for a role provided that they are financial members. There are still a few subs for the current year outstanding. Can these be paid as soon as possible. You should know who you are. Any Committee members who are planning to retire should endeavour to find a replacement.

Results for Saturday, 27 February 2021
1st Ryan Porker(42) 2nd Bob McDonald(41) 2nd Andrew Petricola(41) 3rd Matt Hunt(38) 3rd Chris Priems(38) 3rd Ken Watson(38) 4th Damien Lee(36) 4th Targe Mifsud(36) 5th Stefan Belevski(35) 5th Stephen Butterfield(35)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (41) 2nd Chris Priems (38) 2nd Ken Watson (38) 3rd Targe Mifsud (36)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 4th Gordon Hill BallPin No 2 18th Stefan Belevski

No time to Moonah round on 20 February 2021.

Catch me if you can…

Fortunately, the snap shutdown finished right on schedule, and so, it was possible for our members to play golf. Or at least some reasonable facsimile thereof. There were a whole bundle of them set off for parts unknown for a weekend of who knows what frivolity interspersed with a couple of rounds of whack the white ball. There is also a chance that there was a bit of punting went on, given that they were all members of the Punter’s Club. That left eight members and one guest to fight it out for the Championship points that were on offer, because there were more than the minimum number turning up on the tee.

Old Reliable was at it again and rattling off the plus scores with a reasonable degree of regularity. There might have been a bit of an oil-leak in the middle of the front nine, but the negative results on the last two holes does raise questions as to whether there was a bit of handicap protection going on. As a result, the squared nine left just the single plus surviving to give the points in both sides of the Championship to Craig, and very clearly flagging the fact that he is going to be the one to catch this year.

Bob is eligible for two strokes on eight of the front nine holes. When he, and his marker, scored them, it seems that they either miscalculated or forgot the extra stroke on two occasions. As a result, Bob is the proud holder of second place for the day. This had the unfortunate result of demoting MattA and Targe into a share of third place with their score of minus 2.

SOS did not start off too well with minus scores on five of the first six holes. He did settle down a bit and finished that back nine just one behind the eight-ball to take out fourth place on minus 5. Trevor rounded out the five with a minus six to collect his first Championship point for the year. Watch out everyone, Trev is on the move!

We also welcomed along for his first card round, Chris James. It was a bit unfortunate that the crowd was so small, but I am sure that there will be bigger fields to make Chris welcome to our select little group as he works towards his Club handicap and joining the competition.

The first BallPin was on the 12th and Craig took home the bacon, so to speak. The second BallPin was on the 18th, and maybe the winner would not be taking home the bacon because the name on the chit was young Zimmer. The ProPin was set on the 15th and there was no name on the chit, so there will be a Jackpot there for next week. Craig did get his birdie on the 12th which was just one of the total of four that the field was able to accumulate on the day.

We now have 21 names on the register for the Matchplay and the draw for seedings will be made after the round this week. At this rate there will be a swag of byes in the first round. Be warned, you have until Friday evening to add your name to the register. No register, no play. Competition starts the following week on 06 March.

Also, don’t forget that the AGM will be held the following week on 06 March. Completed Nomination Forms for Committee should be submitted before the meeting so not much time left for that little job either.

Results for Saturday, 20 February 2021
1st Craig Cameron(+1) 2nd Bob McDonald(-1) 3rd Matthew Aforozis(-2) 3rd Targe Mifsud(-2) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan(-5) 5th Trevor Jackson(-6)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (+1) 2nd Bob McDonald (-1) 3rd Targe Mifsud (-2)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 12th Craig Cameron BallPin No 2 18th Kazim Akdag

As dead as a door-nail on 13 February 2021

It got us again!
There was no movement at the station, for the word had passed around
That the COVID, we regret, had got away,
And had joined the wild bush virus - it was fast to get around,
Epi-demi-ologists joined the fray.
With apologies to The Banjo.

Unfortunately, we were bitten on the bum again, and we were barred from the green, green fields of Ivanhoe once more. Hopefully, we will be able to get back into it next week, so could every body who wants a game at Ivanhoe, if it is possible, please register as normal. We really do need to know numbers because of the Punter’s Club taking a fair bunch away, and we have to reduce our booking. Also, we need at least six for there to be a competition.

At the moment we have 18 people who have put their names down for the Matchplay. We can run with that number, but there are 32 places available, and we would hate to have people coming whinging that they haven’t been seeded after the draw is done. That will occur after play on the 27th, so don’t procrastinate too much longer. Just so it is clear, the draw will be for seeds 1 to 32. Opponents will be determined by a standard draw table with 1 v 32 etc.

It was a hole-in-three sort of day on 06 February 2021

Damo wins and grins
Nothing like a draughtie to celebrate!

What an absolutely magnificent day for a game of golf. The rain event that the BOM had forecast did not quite come off although there were a few little downpours in some parts of the city and surrounds. Not a lot at Royal Ivanhoe however and so the course continues to be in tip-top condition, although there are a few complaints about the presence of bare/tufty areas that are claimed to interfere with the high standard of shot-making that is to be expected of all and sundry. At the end of the day, we had 21 members turn out for the fray, but only twenty managed to pay their comp fee. Stan was so keen to get out of the house to get to the course that he forgot his money. Trevor was in a similar rush and forgot his hat, but he did have a cap and a supply of jelly-beans to help him to complete his round. Well done Trev. Now all you have to do is get that swing back in the groove and get your form back. The real story of the day however was down to Bob who lined up on the 15th and whacked his drive deep into the out-of-bounds. Undaunted, Bob reloaded, launched the ball out over the trees, landed it on the hill, the ball bounced down onto the green and ran, ever so delicately, into the hole. Unfortunately, second shot doesn’t count for either the hole-in-one, the Eagle, or the nearest the pin.

But, what, you might ask, did Damo do to warrant getting his picture plastered all over the blog. Well, it seems that he left a number of putts short of the hole on the front nine which might very well have prevented him from adding to his laurels in the Par Makers and Breakers table. As it was he scored three birdies on the back nine for 32 off-the-stick (one under par) to go with his three over on the front to finish just two over for the round and a net score of 59. Come in handicapper!

For the second week in a row, Porks has come in with a score that you could be forgiven for thinking might be in there with a chance. And, for the second week in a row, he was beaten by a fairly wide margin. Still, he can probably take consolation from the adage, play often and come second, and be happy with his second place with a score of 64 on the bottom line. Ryan was right up there in the birdie scoring stakes and one birdie putt was travelling so fast that it nearly broke the pin on the 12th. If it hadn’t hit and dropped in he was looking and a rather long putt or even a chip to get back.

Blighty went ‘loco’ today and played a full round without losing a ball. Technically, but not strictly, true it seems. His distinctive Dunlop Loco Motion golf ball went missing on the 3rd, but while coming up the 5th a ball was spotted hiding under a leaf and, lo and behold, it was that darned Loco ball. Must have been alright though because Blighty was able to front the judges with a very nice net score of 65.

Pepsi was quite convinced that Patrick was going to be in for the big ‘chop’ on his first round in competition. Now, Pepsi has been known to stretch things a little but Pat did manage a birdie on the 6th and a fairly reasonable collection of pars, but suffered something of a slump on the last four holes. Pepsi called it a handbrake job, but who can tell. Craig has been away on King Island and in Tassie honing his bisection skills which were standing him in very good stead today when he carded a one over on the front nine. A lost ball on the 17th probably robbed him of a higher placing than the fifth that he got for his net of 67.

Trev nominated the holes for the first BallPin and the ProPin today. He set the 4th for the ball again, because he reckoned he had a chance of reaching that one. He was going to leave the ProPin on the 12th but Harry suggested that maybe it should be moved, so on the 15th it went. Wouldn’t you know it, but Harry’s shot on the 12th finished just over a metre from the hole. Enough of the back-story. The Bisector (Craig) took of the 4th and, after a tight contest, Zimmer was victorious to collect the ball for the 18th. The ProPin on the 15th eluded everybody, including the ill-starred Bob, until Pepsi came along and plonked his ball to 1.31m. The birdie eluded him from that distance and so the tally for the day was limited to 20.

The Birthday Birdie is going to be a bit busy this week as he has a triple header to deal with Ken (Grist), Bob and Brent sharing a day to celebrate during the week.

JQ has been taking some coaching and one of the tips given was to widen his stance. John obviously took this very much to heart and widened his stance so much that the crutch of his shorts split. Luckily, he wasn’t travelling commando!

Rob and Bob had certified draughties today. Bob’s was a beauty as his club hit the big ball several centimetres behind the little ball and bounced clean over leaving the little ball sitting tauntingly on the tee and the big ball nursing a head-ache. In something of a disputed decision, Zimmer shanked his ball OOB from the 4th tee, and he was not prepared to concede that it had not made it past the red markers. And, while on the subject of shanks. SOS, a past master of the art, went close to taking out Brendon beside the 14th green. It was only lightning fast reflexes, an evasive duck and a collapse back onto the slope of the 15th tee mound that saved the expat Kiwi from a fate worse than death.

Another call for people to register for the Matchplay seeding draw. If your name is not on the register, you will not be included and seeded. Only three more weeks until registration closes.

Also, a similar time frame exists for nominations for positions on the Committee with the AGM to be held on 06 March. Don’t be frightened to nominate, a bit of competition is a good thing. Otherwise, why do we keep turning up every Saturday.

Results for Saturday, 06 February 2021
1st Damien Lee (59) 2nd Ryan Porker (64) 3rd Andrew Blight (65) 4th Patrick McSweeney (66) 5th Craig Cameron (67)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Blight (65) 2nd Craig Cameron (67) 3rd Bob McDonald (72) 3rd Harry Boughen (72)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin15th Andrew Petricola BallPin No 1 4th Craig Cameron BallPin No 2 18th Kazim Akdag