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It was grand playing Par on 24 February 2018

Killer Kiwi!
Next year I might try FebFast!

Despite the conclusion that you might be forgiven for drawing from the featured photo, the day started off quite warm although there was a bit of wind to make things interesting.  The members were very happy to see that the ground-staff had been out on the job early again and that the greens had been freshly mowed.

A threat of some rain held off at least until the round was over and so an enjoyable day was had by all if the banter around the tables was any guide.  The prospect of extra points in a par event seems to have lifted the general mood and the person to lay claim to the first two pointer was Gordon who managed a birdie on the very first hole.  It will be interesting to see who can bring home the first three pointer.

Brendon seems to have hit a bit of a streak and he has now made a break to the front of the pack in the Championship Table.¬† He obviously likes the Par style of play as his two wins have been in that format.¬† How much of today’s plus six scoreline was down to the extra points has not been divulged.

Porks certainly took advantage of the extra points by gathering a couple on consecutive holes at the 3rd and 4th and in the process saved himself from further outward drift of his handicap.  His card of plus four was well and truly matched by Gordo who has already been mentioned in despatches.

DennisW managed to present with a card that was also in positive territory to snag third place on the podium.  Dennis conducted a master class in play from tee to green but, unfortunately, the flat stick let him down a little and the result could have been entirely different if a few more of the rolls had dropped.

Simon played an exemplary second shot into the 3rd green and the ball finished under half a metre from the hole.¬† Simon removed his hat to take a bow except that his hat was not on his head but quite a distance back along the fairway.¬† Maybe the chemicals from his ‘puffer’ or the lack of tar from the ‘darts’ have addled his brain.¬† Michael obligingly jogged back to retrieve the hat while Ed rolled about laughing at Michael’s running style.¬† Mal has kept up his run of form since his return and also produced a square card to finish alongside Si.

Rob (the good looking one) was just a stroke behind with minus one.  As well as his point for fifth place, Rob managed to collect a ball by putting it close enough on the BallPin 4th hole.  The 12th was a double jackpot ProPin pool this week and this could very well be the reason that Michael made a come-back from his back injury as he was able to put it to 2.4m.  In the process he just managed to squeeze out Brendon at 2.5m with Gordon and Porks also thinking they had some sort of a chance.  Brendon made up for his disappointment by sneaking in to just under the 5m limit (4.51m) from the rather difficult top tier pin placement on the 18th to take out the second ProPin.

Michael’s return to play started well with several birdies and it obviously continued at least until the 12th.¬† However the loot counting might have distracted him because it was all down hill from there and a couple of three putt greens on the 14th and 15th caused some serious muttering under the breath and a determination to consult with the sports psychologist once again.

Matt buries the hatchet
Bloody worms!

Michael was not alone in the psychology stakes.  MattH might or might not have been distracted by a worm popping its head out of the ground when he duffed a chip.  Whatever the case he seems to have taken it out on the worm population if the picture of the result is any guide.  Noodles also apparently went very close to breaking his New Year resolution but the proximity of a playing partner seems to have saved the day.

MattN might have caught a bad case of the Chrispy’s (aka shanks).¬† His second from the centre of the 1st finished in the middle of the 10th.¬† Not to be outdone, his second on the 2nd, from the centre of the fairway, finished OOB.¬† And so it continued for the rest of the round.¬† SOS started off well with a plus on the first and a good laugh at Matt’s shank.¬† But then karma took over and SOS managed to score minus on 13 of the next 17 holes.¬† Needless to say, the final score-line did not look pretty.¬† Targe had a bit of a tricky down-hill putt, obviously on one of the sloped greens.¬† The ball was heading so far past the hole that Targe ran after as fast as his legs would carry and managed to stop the ball.¬† The ensuing penalties ensured a negative score on the hole.

The Matchplay seeding has been done and the draw is out.  Please check it out and remind yourself of the rules.  You have until the April MM to complete your first round match.  If, for any reason, you are unable to play within that time frame please defer to the reserves in the order that they appear at the bottom of the table.  And remember, no result by the deadline, both players are eliminated.

As notified previously, because of the unavoidable absence of the President, the AGM of the Club has been postponed for one week to 10 March.

Results for Saturday, 24 February 2018
1st Brendon Mitchell(+6) 2nd Gordon Hill(+4) 2nd Ryan Porker(+4) 3rd Dennis Ward(+1) 4th Malcolm Fleming(‚Ė°) 4th Simon Powell(‚Ė°) 5th Robert Priems(-1)

Seniors Results: 1st Gordon Hill (4) 2nd Dennis Ward (1) 3rd Malcolm Fleming (0) 3rd Simon Powell (0)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Michael Gourlay ProPin No 2 18th Brendon Mitchell BallPin 4th Robert Priems

The standard of golf was Presidential on 17 February 2018

JOhn pretty pleased
Trump that, you lot!

The weather could not have been kinder to the twenty-one members and one guest who took to the field today.¬† The staff had been up at sparrow’s and the greens were freshly mowed so there were few excuses to be had for not scoring low though, it must be said, there were a few low scores returned.¬† Now, before you get your backwards all forwards, the competition today was Stableford and so low scores get high scores and vice versa.¬† If that makes sense.

So, it is a bit grim when a member hands in a card on which he played to his handicap for him to be told sorry, that doesn’t get a point.¬† And, one of the reasons for that was that el Presidente, JohnQ, beat his personal best by five strokes and coasted home with a total of 46 points to leave most of the rest of the field in his dust.¬† Chrispy reckoned he was getting RSI from having to write threes on the card so John very kindly scored a four pointer on the 17th to give him some relief.¬† What made it worse for Chris was the fact that his sump plug had fallen out completely and he was putting gashes on his own side of the card (some of the time, anyway).

Dale also had a round of doing nothing much wrong and he was Clubhouse leader for a little while.¬† He was noticed to heave something of a sigh of relief when news of John landed so that he wouldn’t get the winners penalty even if there were a few less points as a result.¬† Dennis had also been Clubhouse leader for some time (he was in the first group) and his result could have been somewhat better with a total of four lost balls for the round.¬† Two on the 13th when his tee shot finished in the right hand hazard.¬† His penalty shot over the hazard and trees went so well that it finished in the hazard on the other side of the fairway which resulted in a casual walk to the green.

CraigC made a bit of a come-back today and showed that a break from the course hadn’t done him any harm though he did admit to having played around a bit – I mean having played a few rounds.¬† Mal filled out the fifth position with a small break of his new handicap and showed that there is life in the old dog yet.¬† And the result could have been even better if he hadn’t had a run in with three trees on the one fairway (well not exactly ‘on’ the fairway) and a couple of other little aberrations.

There was a Jackpot ProPin on the 12th from last week and the pin was tucked into the far right corner of the green (again).¬† As a result, nobody got within the required 5m distance and so there will be a Double Jackpot next week.¬† Actually, somebody did get within 5m, but Porks couldn’t claim the pool because he wasn’t on the green.¬† He did get the birdie though and in the process he contributed to the total of 19 for the day, which is a pretty respectable total.¬† The BallPin was on the 15th and there was a bit of a contest that was won by Brent.¬† The ProPin on the 18th was even more fiercely contested.¬† In the first group, Simon eased out Dennis by a margin that varies from a few millimetres to a few inches depending on who you listen to.¬† But the prize went to Craig who managed to put it to 40cm.

The Birthday Birdie has a small job to do this week and he will be hunting down Noodles later in the week to make sure that he has a swiping good time for his special day.

Targe has been getting pretty familiar with the pumping system beside the 9th fairway.  His drive from the 1st was just by the pump-house while that from the 9th ended in the enclosure around the valve set.  When said drive looked as if it might have finished under the big deciduous tree on the left side, Ed reckoned that there was enough room for a full swing under there (even more so for Targe!)

Brendon didn’t have much of a day, even his playing companions felt sorry for him.¬† On one hole, he had his ball ‘stolen’ with a far inferior ball left in its place.¬† On another hole, as he lined up his putter behind the ball he touched it and it moved although, apparently, Brendon was the only one who noticed.¬† Plus he also had lots of problems with trees interfering with the flight of his ball..¬† As Chrispy said, it wasn’t a day for ‘good’ golfers.¬† Perhaps that is why Chris could be heard proclaiming his displeasure from one end of the course to the other.

Bob also had a few words to say and there is a move afoot to count the blasphemies to see whether he uses more than he takes strokes.¬† Another person who perhaps had a reason to swear, but there are no reports as to whether he did or not, was Jason, who left a putt about 50mm from the hole, and who went to ‘tap’ it in whereupon the ball did not move from its spot.

Next week will be our first GrandPar event for the year.¬† They are scheduled for any month when there are two ‘Club” Par rounds in a month.¬† The idea is that, if you win a hole without using all of your strokes you score extra points for the remaining strokes.¬† So, if you have a stroke on a hole and you birdie the hole you score +2.¬† This will require some concentration, particularly if you are playing inside as well as that will be a standard Par event and so it is possible that your scores will be different.

The AGM is scheduled for the week after.  If you have a hankering to be involved in the management of the Club you can nominate for any position on the Committee by downloading and printing a nomination form from the website (under Forms on the side-bar) and strong-arming a couple of your mates to nominate and second your nomination.  Any current Committee member who is planning to stand down it would be handy if you could persuade a replacement to stand or at least let the President or Secretary know of your intentions.

After next week’s round, the seeding for the Matchplay will be done in preparation for the start of the event the week after.¬† If you do not want to be included in the seeding for any reason, please advise by using the Registration Form as soon as possible so that the draw is as ‘clean’ as possible and all contestants intend to abide by the Rules of the competition.¬† The most important one is that, if a pairing have not played or advised an agreed result by the end of play on the closing date of the round, both contestants will be eliminated.¬† Please talk to each other.¬† Phone numbers and emails are on the Contacts/Member Directory.¬† As a hint, the security question still includes the sand trap that used to be on the 1st fairway.

Results for Saturday, 17 February 2018
1st John Quinlan(46) 2nd Dale Webb(44) 3rd Dennis Ward(40) 4th Craig Cameron(38) 5th Malcolm Fleming(37)

Seniors Results: 1st Dennis Ward (40) 2nd Craig Cameron (38) 3rd Malcolm Fleming (37)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Craig Cameron BallPin 15th Brent Rowley

Everyone complains about Par – Par event – Saturday 10th February 2018

The par meisters
What is SOS doing in there??
15 players were in attendance – perhaps the par format scared a few people away on what was a perfect morning for golf – we even missed the late rain although it threatened with some dribs and drabs towards the end of the round.
There were some fresh faces back after a break: Eddie, Blighty, Brendon and Bob McDonald. It appears the time away from Ivanhoe did Brendon and Bob well, with each carding +4.¬† There were some questioning Bob’s round on the 15th when it was observed that he was hacking it very close to the out of bounds right in front of the ladies tee, although he rallied hard and came through in the end. The Kiwi could have produced an even better score if not for some issues with the putter. He blamed some rough greens. To be fair, the greens at Ivanhoe have been in better nick. At least the first cut of rough had been cut this week!
Primesy managed to curtail the shanks for the most part and put in a consistent performance to place outright 2nd on plus 2.¬† Blighty put in one of his better rounds for a while and tied with porks on +1, although Noods commented that porks was playing terrible all day and didn’t quite know how he ended up on that score.
Allan also managed to play to his shiny new handicap and tied in 4th with Dennis. Dale also continued his good form at came home in 5th place, his new clubs must be working quite well.
There were no reported draughties today and Noodles’ new year resolution is still going strong, although his playing partner MattH may have lost a club in anger. He blamed the dewy conditions early on. MattN caught a bad case of the shanks early after being mostly flawless off the tee (according to Matt himself). Playing with Chrispy appears to be dangerous as Sos was reported to have caught the shanks a couple of weeks earlier. Pepsi didn’t have the greatest day on the field and was heard carrying on with expletives for most of the day after mostly missing putts.

Used the bleach to good effect!
Blighty found some misfortune on the 15th, going OOB. However, he didn’t go out on the left or over the back. As Chrispy, Brendon, Targe and MattN were walking up the 16th fairway a cry of “fore” came from beyond the bushes. It seems Blighty had shanked the ball off the 15th tee over the 14th green and OOB near the tennis court car park. Apparently Blighty had just birdied the 14th, so it was a quick reality check.
There were only 10 birdies carted for the day, the there was another jackpot with the pro pin on the 12th. Matty Hunt played a decent shot to claim the ball on the 4th and after proclaiming to be able to reach the back tier with his 9iron on the 18th, noodles managed to place it within 5m to take out the pro pin.
There were some interesting fashions on the field today, Blighty was wearing some new spectacles which resembled Mrs Doubtfire. Last week Matt N or Noodles convinces that to get the best cleaning effect for his club cap, Targe should use bleach to really extract the sweat and dirt from the last yrs play. Well Targe took the bait and turned up with a new pink hat as a result. He claimed at the end of the round that it was an improvement over the standard navy and white!
Matchplay is coming up soon and starts on March monthly medal. The rules and regs are on the website about qualifying and seeding etc. If in doubt ask Harry.

Results for Saturday, 10 February 2018
1st¬†Bob McDonald(+4)¬†1st¬†Brendon Mitchell(+4)¬†2nd¬†Chris Priems(+2)¬†3rd¬†Andrew Blight(+1)¬†3rd¬†Ryan Porker(+1)¬†4th¬†Allan Davies(‚Ė°)¬†4th¬†Dennis Ward(‚Ė°)¬†5th¬†Dale Webb(-1)

Seniors Results: 1st¬†Bob McDonald (+4)¬†2nd¬†Andrew Blight (+1)¬†3rd¬†Allan Davies (‚Ė°)¬†3rd¬†Dennis Ward (‚Ė°)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Stephen Butterfield BallPin 4th Matt Hunt

The gun-shop raided the crooks on 03 February 2018

Targe awards himself.
And the winner is…….

This will have to go down as some sort of red-letter day.  It was revealed that Chrispy would not be playing because he was doing something with Carolyn.  Details were thin on the ground but rumours swirled around the Club as members speculated what sort of a promise he might have been on.  As a result, he missed out on a beautiful day for golf with the sun not too sunny and the wind not too windy.  A sort of a ‘goldilocks’ day when everything was just right.  If Chris had made it there would have been the neat twenty members on deck as we welcomed back David Mullenger who has had other things on his mind for quite a little while but now he reckons he can see his way clear to attend on a more regular basis.

One thing Chris possibly wouldn’t have had, had he been present, was a chance of winning the trophy as Targe swept all before him to take out the medal pretty much uncontested.  The front nine was not overly spectacular although it did include three pars.  The back nine on the other hand tallied six pars and three bogies to bring up a total of 81 for the round and a nett score of 61.  A member of the group following Targe’s group opined that he thought that things weren’t going too well for the little fellow, particularly when he appeared from out of the hazard on the 14th when the rest of the group were already on the green.  Despite the penalty, he still managed the bogey.

Harry was only a stroke behind Targe off the stick and that was down to an extra stroke on the back nine.  But, the difference was in the handicap difference that used to be there.  As always, Harry reckons there is room for improvement with a few left out there.  Simon reckons that if he had a dollar for every putt of Harry’s that ran over the edge of the cup, he would be a rich man.  Though, Harry did drain one from 10m on the 12th for a birdie and, in so doing, contributed to the 13 that were carded for the day.  Not to be out-done, Porks also scored a birdie on the same hole with a 25m putt that had to do a boomerang shot across the slope to find the hole.

Simon is thinking of investing in a GoPro so that he can get vision of some of his shots to show his coach.  And, on the front nine, he did have something to brag about with 40 off the beater.  He squibbed a bit on the back nine, taking 41, to finish right on his handicap with a nett 68.  Whether this was down to the slap on the wrist that he got when he reached for a ‘dart’ on the 11th or the fact that he stuck with his inhaler instead remains to be determined.

Next came a veritable squadron of players with the (titter, titter) score of 69.  First on the list was Noodles who apparently had his moments and on one occasion he went close to breaking ‘you-know-what’.  He did manage to get onto the green on the 17th but both the eagle and the birdie eluded him.  Matt and Pepsi both agreed that they left a lot out there and Matt did own up to a ‘double’ hit with the second being a much better shot than the first.  David got off to a good start with his first round with us for a while so he could be one to watch in coming weeks.

Rob had a big smile on his dial when he walked up and announced that he had scored a 68 when he knew perfectly well that MattH had come in with a 69.  He also had a fist full of stubbies courtesy of a tee shot on the 11th that ended up moving less than a metre from the tee and well short of the red markers.  Rob was not alone in the draughtie department with Jake managing on on the 2nd and Trev getting one as well though his playing mates took pity on him and did not enforce the shout.  Trev did struggle a bit with a sore foot and hopefully there will be some relief in store as we all know how Trev loves his golf.  But, we should not forget, ChrisV also managed to get a 71 to share the podium with Rob.

The BallPin today was on the 15th and there was a bit of a contest to be had with no less than three names on the ticket.  The one that mattered though belonged to Dave.  The first ProPin was on the 12th and the pin position was on the reasonably tricky right hand corner of the green.  This didn’t faze John though as he managed to get his to 3.27m to get the money but not the birdie.  On the 18th, we had a double jackpot and, with the pin on the lower deck people liked their chances.  They had little chance though after MattN put his to 2.4m from the first group and nobody else got inside that mark.

There were reports that MattN also had a five putt green today but the gory details did not forth-come.  RodG managed to have two putts with one stroke after hesitating as he contacted the ball and then accelerating to make the second contact.  It requires great co-ordination to manage that.  Chrispy has, hopefully, solved his shanking problem but SOS had some similar problems today.  He did claim a birdie today even though he had six on the hole.  As he played a recovery shot from one of his shanks, the ball struck one of the feathered varieties but, as for last week, no wildlife was adversely affected by the events in question.

Just to re-iterate the answer to the question about the seeding of the Matchplay.  The seeding will be based on the most recent three cards up to and including the last round in this month.  All members will be seeded unless they have advised that they do not wish to be included in the competition.  Preferably, this advice should be via the Matchplay Registration Form on the web-site although oral or e-mail advice will be accepted in extremis.  Please be aware that, if you are seeded, you have an obligation to play your match if you and your opponent are present on the same day and that you must make every effort to play the match by the deadline.  There will be no extensions.  If you foresee difficulty in complying, please consider withdrawing your availability before the seeding deadline.

Results for Saturday, 03 February 2018
1st Targe Mifsud(61) 2nd Harry Boughen(65) 3rd Simon Powell(68) 4th Stephen Butterfield(69) 4th Matt Hunt(69) 4th David Mullenger(69) 4th Andrew Petricola(69) 5th Robert Priems(71) 5th Chris Vinecombe(71)

Seniors Results: 1st Targe Mifsud (61) 2nd Harry Boughen (65) 3rd Simon Powell (68)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th John Quinlan ProPin No 2 18th Matt Nicholls BallPin 15th David Mullenger