Category Archives: Club News

Short story highlights:

Steve romped home for the win with +5 in today’s “Grand Par” comp despite an “airey” on his tee shot at the first hole.

I might be wrong but I think no Collingwood supporters were present.

12 players, including 1 guest (Mark Dunn, a Fitzroy supporter who normally is an afternoon player but plays with us once a year for some reason) and Denzil, a new member putting in his second card.

There were 5 birdies and 6 “double pluses” (Peps on the 7th, Wazza 10th, SoS 11th and 16th, Andrew V 14th, Steve 16th).

Pro-pin Jackpot on the 4th, Mark won the NTP on the 12th and Peps the 18th (great shot to top tier pin and we won’t mention his 3 putts from 4.89 metres)

Porks and Michael shared equal NAGA with minus 8. Michael coming off 26 points last week is in especially good form. He spent the second nine googling retirement villages with bowls and croquet.

Slightly longer story for those who read novels:

With everybody wanting a quick getaway (or not turning up) so they could get a good spot in front of the telly for the afternoon’s big match (spoiler alert the Wallabies got done by Brendon’s All Blacks 33-24 in their Bledisloe Cup match at Eden Park) rugby union fan Steve G cantered home for the win at Royal Ivanhoe in today’s Grand Par event.

After an “airey” on the first tee (no problems he still made 5 a half) he was “scores level” at half-time, all square. Steve then made his decisive move in the third and fourth quarters, including a “double plus” on the 16th and four other back nine pluses.

Harry didn’t play as he is in preparation mode for another holiday (that man needs a job, he’s having too many holidays). But he rocked up to get the cards and do the handicapping (something about not trusting Michael to get the handicapping right for the big weekend away handicapping process).

Once home and entering the score data, two players improved a stroke on their announced scores to share second place points. Wazza and Andrew V both in the scorebook at +1 (rather than the square announced at the after-party).

SoS was third with square and Gordo fourth with minus 2.

Peps was knocked down to minus 3 and fifth after Harry’s card check, meaning Stan on minus 4 and Nalin on minus 6 both missed points (despite earlier having been announced as fourth and fifth).

October Monthly Medal next week, then the big weekend away at Rich River.

Results for Saturday, 27 Sep 2025
1st Steven Gervasoni (+5) 2nd Warren Capes (+1) 2nd Andrew Vogan (+1) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (□) 4th Gordon Hill (-2) 5th Andrew Petricola (-3)

Seniors Results: 1st Steven Gervasoni (+5) 2nd Andrew Vogan (+1) 3rd Gordon Hill (-2)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 12th Mark Dunn BallPin No 2 – 18th Andrew Petricola

Keen readers of last week’s blog will know that straight-talking “Steady Stan” got a mention, along with Harry, for being the only club members known to have “shot their age” off the stick.

If you haven’t already read it, do yourself a favour and scroll down and read last week’s blog before this one – some of my best work there last week! The Raj pyjamas photo has been entered in a national golfers photo competition.

Before this week, Harry had shot his age twice, Stan once.

Make that 2-2 and game on for who gets first to 3-2!

World War Two was in its second year when Stan was born (1940).

He has missed a bit of golf this year because he has been busy renovating a house or two. Stan does most of his renovating work himself – quicker and easier for most things if you do it yourself he reckons.

Tee to green this year Stan has been his usual stellar self, taking advantage of all the run on offer through the unusually dry autumn and winter in Melbourne. But his putting has been dodgy. Today the flat stick behaved itself and Stan motored around, closing with two pars for 85 off the stick and 44 stableford points.

Harry was duly informed and has updated the “Play Your Age” Honour Board on the website (look under the tab Honour Boards in between Club Policies – we know you have read all those – and Statistics, ditto).

Josh was born a few years (63) after Stan (2003 – Iraq War, Space Shuttle Colombia Disaster, Cristiano Ronaldo’s debut for Manchester Untied, Makybe Diva’s first Melbourne Cup). He also had a blinder, 40 stableford points and second place points. His highlights included a four-point birdie on the 4th (this week in Grandpar that would count as a “double plus”). It was one of six birdies across the field for the day.

For those who keep tab on the prestigious Vardon Trophy race (best average points per game “strike rate”) Josh’s round takes his average to 3.71 and puts him further ahead of Porks (3.38) Rod White (3.20) Nalin (2.79) Matt (2.69) and Peps (2.58). However there is a 15 rounds qualification for the Vardon Trophy. Josh has played 9 rounds. Will he turn up for another 6 games before our “points” season ends on 29th November? If not, Porks leads that race. Nalin is probably the best placed to overtake him. BTW Harry, why is their no Virtual Honour Board on the website for the Vardon Trophy?

Prez Priems finished strongly and unlike some others on this second last Saturday of September, he was full of running in the last quarter and wasn’t impeded by any umpiring howlers, with a 21-point back nine, 39 overall and third place. Highlights included birdies on the 7th and 17th.

Johnny Q has been in good form lately (enough to scare off a sick Harry from today’s scheduled Match Play 3rd/4th place play-off). Harry might have done well to “do a Raj” and stay in bed. JQ’s 37 points for fourth place included a four-point birdie on the 3rd and a run of 7 straight pars on the back 9. He left the proverbial “a few out there” including two chips that for all money looked like they were in the hole, but somehow hit the hole and bounced out. In the CJ style re-telling, both apparently went to the bottom of the cup for a good ten seconds before bobbing out. Dead stiff JQ, robbed.

JQ also won the nearest the pin on the 4th. He has “caddy Stan” to thank for that. With JQ about to take his swing, Stan helpfully intervened to suggest “you know you are aiming way out there” (pointing towards the Yarra on the right). JQ was observed to be not particularly happy with the unsolicited advice, but then reset himself and knocked it close to the difficult back pin. Stan was still waiting for his thank you after the round. Maybe JQ donated his winnings to Stan?

Another golfer in form lately is Peps who picked up fifth placed points with 35. Along the way he won the Pro-pin cash with a shot to 3.94 metres on the 12th. He was lucky not to be knocked off by Michael’s guest Denzil, a prospective new member, who enjoyed Gordo’s company during the round (but perhaps not Grumpy Old Man Michael) and was a few inches from knocking off Peps for the cash.

On Harry’s generous handicapping system for new members, Denzil looks like he might start with a handicap in the high 20s. If he can “do a Stan” and get the putter to behave, maybe mid-low 20’s will be the go.

Honourable mentions to Wazza and Andrew V 34, Targe 32, Gordo – off the back of a Geelong “nerves drinking” hangover – 31, Chris V 29, including a 4-point birdie on the 13th (good to see you make it down Chris in between kids sporting commitments) and Craig 28.

The NAGA battle looked like SoS’s for the taking (26) but then Michael proudly pipped him with 25, before he was disappointed when Raj rocked in with 23 (including one 4-pointer and 2 x 3-pointers). If you do the maths that’s 13 points from the other 15 holes. Good job Raj!

Chris V snagged the jackpot double ball NTP on the 18th, knocking off Peps.

Grand final day golf this week. Will any Collingwood supporters have recovered in time to turn up? Will Gordo be too nervous to play? Hopefully we will get at least the six we need for a points competition.

Results for Saturday, 20 Sep 2025
1st Stan Blackshaw (44) 2nd Josh Hunt (40) 3rd Robert Priems (39) 4th John Quinlan (37) 5th Andrew Petricola (35)

Seniors Results: 1st Stan Blackshaw (44) 2nd Robert Priems (39) 3rd Andrew Vogan (34)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Andrew Petricola BallPin No 1 – 4th John Quinlan BallPin No 2 – 18th Chris Vinecombe

And if I had room for a longer heading I would have added “And CJ has balls, takes the Maccas”.

15 players, 10 birdies and 9 awards this week.

Most innovative course management strategy: Last week Raj was scheduled in Group 1, turned up on time, hit his first drive into Charlie’s Bush and played miserably all day thereafter.

This week Raj was scheduled in Group 1, so obviously a different strategy was required – sleep in (allegedly), miss tee time, create chaos with the groups, then wander in late, slot into the last group and have a nice quiet casual walk collecting 40 stableford points and first place points.

Best laugh of the week: Peps on the 12th. Peps who had 38 points for second, which included the world’s longest ever run on a 3 wood (second shot into the 6th which bounced about 100 metres out and ran all the way onto the green) could not stop giggling on the 12th watching Porks (5 putts and counting) and Targe – who was in good form after a trip to Numurkah – manage the hole placement there. Any putt from above the hole broke about 90 degrees left and was tricky. Ditto on the 13th where Michael and Nalin missed from about 18 inches.

We could whinge but we won’t award: Michael and Nalin interrupted their normal pre-game warm up to go in Group 1 after the Raj no show, joining Steve. They were told with confidence by CJ (Group 3) that the “Preferred lies” board wasn’t out so no preferred lies. Steve, playing with a very crook back, had some stinking lies over first five holes. Apparently just as Group 3 was about to hit off, the pro-shop remembered to put out the “Preferred lies” board. This got communicated to groups who had missed the memo eventually (the 6th hole in the case of Group 1). Between his dodgy back and lies, Steve G did well to score 34 points. As did Nalin, who played much better than his 34 points suggests and – watch this space – you heard it here first – he will do some serious winning before the year is out.

Best shot of the day: Normally Peps 3 wood on the 6th would have won. Or Porks chip-in on the 8th with a skinny chip that was heading into the Yarra before it somehow hit the pin and dropped in. But today of course was all about the CJ 8 iron into the 9th. How far can CJ hit an 8 iron? Well depending on which version you heard of his eagle on the 9th, he can hit his 8 iron a bit further than Rory McIlroy. But whatever the actual distance, Brendon declared “that’s going to be close” when CJ hit it and then they discovered it was more than close, somehow wedged against the pin from the back. How did it get there? Anyway, it was the Eagles Nest prize for CJ which under new club rules can be taken in balls (7) or cash. CJ took the cash saying he would treat the grandkids to Maccas.

Quote of the week: Now be it the 9th today or other times, CJ has been known to occasionally wax lyrical about what he has done or is about to do with a golf shot. Lining up a putt on the 14th, he was giving some detailed descriptions of the likely trajectory his ball would take after his gifted hands guided the putter to connect with the ball. One of his playing partners was moved to offer the following advice “Just hit the bloody thing”. No prizes for guessing who. Hint: Check “Play Your Age” in the Honour Boards section of the website.

Loudest Tantrum: Michael after a second shot duff into the 16th who allegedly scared one of our members going in the other direction playing the 14th from the 16th fairway. The Environment Protection Authority (EPA) were on site later with their noise pollution measuring equipment and have issued Michael with a “get your act together notice”. Michael’s defence was that he cried quietly rather than screamed after 3 putting the 17th from 15 feet.

David Attenborough Award: Peps and the crow that took his smokes out of his bag and had a peck but couldn’t get the lighter going. Porks losing a bag of snakes, with the same crow the chief suspect. Porks one bite into a pie on the 10th got swooped by a magpie who whacked him on the head and took the pie out in the process. One dead pie splattered over the path.

Duddest whole of group effort: None of 15 players could hit the 18th green. Tee was forward, pin on lower tier. Jackpot NTP there. Raj won the NTP ball on the 4th and Peps snuck in under the 5 metre limit (4.88) for the money on the 15th.

Footy finals supporters psychology award: Good to see Bobby Mc up and about. Bloody Collingwood supporters, they seem to be everywhere again this September. Does the club include anybody who barracks for the Lions, Geelong or Hawthorn. Please may one of those three beat Collingwood this week or next by a point or so with a kick after the siren.

Results for Saturday, 13 Sep 2025
1st Rajesh Mahto (40) 2nd Andrew Petricola (38) 3rd Craig Cameron (34) 3rd Steven Gervasoni (34) 3rd Chris Priems (34) 3rd Nalin Samaranayake (34) 4th Targe Mifsud (32) 4th Ryan Porker (32) 5th Michael Gourlay (31) 5th Bob McDonald (31) 5th Andrew Vogan (31)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (34) 1st Steven Gervasoni (34) 1st Chris Priems (34) 2nd Targe Mifsud (32) 3rd Michael Gourlay (31) 3rd Bob McDonald (31) 3rd Andrew Vogan (31)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Andrew Petricola BallPin No 1 – 4th Rajesh Mahto BallPin No 2 – 18th Jackpot

Eagle’s Nest Results: Eagle – 9th Chris Priems

I reckon we have to get Charlie back from London, we need somebody who can beat Porks. Nalin came close today, ditto JQ, but it was a case of Porks Supreme again this week (read last week’s blog too if you missed it).

Today’s stories.

Group 1: Raj, allegedly for the first time ever, hit his opening tee shot on the 1^st into Charlie’s bush and it didn’t get much better from there (Net 75). Matt (Net 71 and 5^th placed points) missed about 8 million putts by a whisker. He’s the first ever golfer to come off the course saying he left a few out there. Gordo went home early, no information other than great back 9 after not-so-great front (Net 72).

Group 2: Steady Stan was at it again (Net 70 and 4^th placed points). Missed a few very gettable putts too, becoming the second ever golfer to come off the course saying he left a few out there. Dan birdied the 1^st and we all know what that means, disaster awaits for the rest of the round, on this occasion including an 8 on the 2^nd on the way to Net 81. Craig couldn’t back up from last week and had what he called a very ordinary day (Net 77).

Group 3 was the 3 beers group, including the rare feat of 2 beers by the same player on the same hole. Steve G was still standing behind the ladies as he hit his third shot on the 2^nd and did well to keep the damage to an 8. He then added a third beer with his drive on the 3^rd and his playing partners were already booking a taxi home, thinking a six pack was a chance by the end of the day. But Steve kept his beer slate clean from there on, equalling Dan in the NAGA chase with Net 81.

Andrew V in Group 3 had trouble remembering it wasn’t blue tee markers today and paid the price with a two-shot penalty for hitting off the blues on the 10^th on his way to Net 73 (the penalty costing him a share of 5^th placed points). For the other player in Group 3, see more below, unless you are sick of reading about him winning.

Group 4 had a stoush with the Burnley boys who failed to yell fore after a wayward tee shot on the 10^th and narrowly missed hitting Nalin on the head as he walked down the 13^th. Nalin kept his head and posted a Net 67 for second placed points. A birdie on the 11^th was a highlight, along with a majestic 8 iron to 1.67 metres on the 18^th (from the back left tee behind the tree) to collect the NTP ball there. Wazza had a shocker that included 5 putts on the 2^nd but comfortably avoided NAGA honours with a Net 80.

The other bloke in Group 4 is renowned for shenanigans on the 17^th once having a 13 there after dumping ball after ball in the lake and then following it up with a hole-in-one on the 18^th. Today SoS managed an 11 on the 17^th with a Porks twist. Having asked the group ahead on the 18^th tee if they knew whether his drive got over the lake, Porks gave an answer that led SoS to believe it had gone in. He then took a penalty, dumped 3 shots in the lake before the next one got over the lake and bumped into a random ball next to the green. And …. you guessed it, the random ball was SoS’s original drive! SoS signed for an 11 and after no hole-in-one on the 18^th a Net 82 and suggested Porks had robbed him of a certain eagle if he had been able to play his original ball.

Group 5: Marc rocked in with a smile on his face, the wry version and knocked off SoS to collect the NAGA with Net 84, including a 6 putt 10 on the 10^th. CJ backed up last week’s 9 down with the equivalent of 12 down this week (Net 80). He was however happy to pocket the cash for the NTP Pro-pin on the 12^th (4.4 metres).

JQ enjoyed the fine weather and had an impressive Net 68 for third place points. He drove the ball well all day long, including on the 6^th where it was reported that his playing partners didn’t see him smash it down the middle as they were focussed on a couple of very shapely distractions of the fairer sex jogging along the road behind. The joggers seemed to enjoy the attention and tickled JQ’s fancy by saying “great shot” as they trotted off into the distance. Apparently, there was a delay until the joggers were out of sight before the rest of the group felt calm enough to hit their tee shots.

JQ had a brilliant chip-in on the 3^rd and missed quite a few gettable birdie putts and yeah, you guessed it, he was another who said he left a few out there.

Prez Priems hacking his way down 10^th enjoyed the sledge from Matt on the 13^th as they crossed paths. “How’s it going” asked Prez to which Matt replied, “Let’s just say I have got you covered.” Prez promptly birdied the 11^th, added another birdie on the 17^th and let’s just say, with a Net 70 and 4^th placed points, if you check the scores ….. just quietly (“make sure you put this in the blog please Michael, as I think you’ll find I have got Matt covered”).

So to Porks ….. how does a bloke playing off a four handicap have a double bogey on the 1^st, a triple bogey on the 8^th, bogey the last and shoot 70 off the stick for a Net 66. He had 5 birdies, including one on the 7^th where he picked up the NTP ball, knocking off Dan. He also said he left a few out there (this is becoming a theme) with quite a few other chances for birdies not quite dropping.

Apart from the 1^st and 8^th holes Porks indicated it was the best round he had ever played. He is having some year. The world record for total championship points is there for the taking (remind me again what the world record is Harry). Having shot past the 100 points last week after his Match Play win he now has 150 in his sights. Last year’s winner managed 149.

Going back further into club history, CJ is comparing Porks with the famous David Primrose who won three championships in a row from 1999-2001. The headline for today probably should have been “Porks the new Primose”.

Meanwhile another question for you Harry. Most birdies in a round measured by average birdies per player. Today the field of 16 had 15 birdies. Average 0.9375 birdies per player. Is this a record? And if Porks hadn’t gone with fake news for SoS on the 17^th we might have got the perfect 16 for 16! And if all those near miss birdie putts went in ……

Results for Saturday, 06 Sep 2025
1st Ryan Porker (66) 2nd Nalin Samaranayake (67) 3rd John Quinlan (68) 4th Stan Blackshaw (70) 4th Robert Priems (70) 5th Matt Hunt (71)

Seniors Results: 1st Stan Blackshaw (70) 1st Robert Priems (70) 2nd Matt Hunt (71) 3rd Gordon Hill (72)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Chris Priems BallPin No 1 – 7th Ryan Porker BallPin No 2 – 18th Nalin Samaranayake