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It was raining coconuts on 30 January 2021.

Jason shoots the lights out
I didn’t want to win the Medal anyway…

What’s that you say! Surely the heavy rain from yesterday was all gone. Yes, the course did collect about 50 or more from the tropical low that fed moisture in yesterday but, you would hardly have known it and the course was in tip-top condition. The coconuts were down to Mango Man, Ken, who didn’t have quite enough to go round the sixteen members who made it to the tee today. Noodles was conspicuous by his absence for the round, and his excuse afterwards was that he was just too tired to get himself out of bed when the alarm went off. The conditions were certainly very favourable for playing golf if the scores that were handed in by the leaders were any indication. The scores at the tail end of the field would tend to put the lie to that little theory though. But, we won’t go there!

What can we say about Jason? It seems that he could do nothing wrong today. Thirteen pars and two birdies on the way to a gross score of 70 strokes and a fairly mind-blowing total of plus eight. And not a single grandpar in the lot. Even when did fluff a tee shot, on the 12th, he just upped and chipped it in for the birdie. Even on his new handicap, he’d have still gone close to winning the day.

Now, the next two must have given themselves a bit of a chance to collect the top points when the were able to sign off on cards showing plus five on the bottom line. Ryan didn’t have to make use of any grandpars to get his score but ChrisV was able to sneak the double score onto his card twice in his effort to tie for second place. Chris reckons he hasn’t been practising, he just plays better after a break, and he did admit to starting to think about things a bit too much after his front nine and a monster putt on the 10th for one of his double points.

Keith was another one who managed to snare himself a double pointer with a very nice par on the 8th. He was on the verge of abandoning his ball on the 14th after it had disappeared among the trees on the left and was heard to bounce on the path. Just in the nick of time the ball was spotted hiding in plain sight to allow a squared hole to be the result.

Usually, a Priems does not have to pray for a tree to intervene. But, today, it seems that Rob was doing just that as his ball from the 13th tee headed for the penalty area. With no obvious intervention, the search was started in said penalty area until somebody spotted a ball in the middle of the fairway. Rob’s prayers had been answered. SOS wasn’t able to hang around afterwards, but his card shows nothing spectacular and nothing terrible on his way to matching it with Rob with a square card into fourth place.

Old Reliable was, it seems, a little less reliable with his second shot to the green on the 13th, and it finished in the gutter on the path behind the green. The only place to drop was on the steep slope behind. The awkward chip popped over the path, ran down the slope, across the green and lipped out to finish just centimetres away. A tap in scored the ‘easiest’ of pars. Brendon was just a little too consistent in managing to produce regular negative scores which were just enough to outweigh the positive ones and his final score of minus one matched it with Craig for the last podium place.

The ProPin today was on the 12th and, although Noodles did buy a new tape, the fact that he did not make it to the starter meant that we only have an estimate of the distance from the pin. We also only have to believe the report that Craig (at about 2m) was closer to the pin than JQ (est. 2.2m). The first BallPin was on the 4th and Brendon was the one to put his smiley face on the card. It was a bit of a close-run thing though as there had to be a pace-off to separate two contenders from the group. The 18th BallPin was knocked down to the Beast. None of the NTP wins ended up producing a birdie, and, so, the tally of 10 for the day has to be down to scores on other holes or by other people.

Rob has a garage full of bits and pieces to build himself a wood-fire pizza oven. Although the instructions suggest anybody can do it, Rob reckons that you just about need an engineering degree to work it all out. He reckons he might put on a pizza night when it is finished, but you have to make your own as he doesn’t cook pizza??? Matt is adamant that the reason that he won’t be here for the next few weeks is not to protect his handicap for the Punters Club weekend. He is just as adamant that the club slipped out of his hands today. Bobbie seems to have gotten his wheels back into gear as he was noticed sauntering along behind his cart rather than wrestling with it as he was last week.

Results for Saturday, 30 January 2021
1st Jason Hopkins(+8) 2nd Ryan Porker(+5) 2nd Chris Vinecombe(+5) 3rd Keith Delzoppo(+2) 4th Robert Priems(□) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan(□) 5th Craig Cameron(-1) 5th Brendon Mitchell(-1)

Seniors Results: 1st Keith Delzoppo (+2) 2nd Craig Cameron (-1) 3rd Ken Watson (-2)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 12th Craig Cameron BallPin No 1 4th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 2 18th Bill Eastoe

It was a nutcracker day on 23 January 2021

Harry goes crackers
It was a cracker of a round…..

It seems that it was a weekend for a celebration when you’re not having a celebration. Some call it Australia day, some call it Invasion Day, some call it First Fleet Day and some call it nothing at all so as not to offend anyone (or everyone). Whatever the excuse, it seems that a lot of our members decided that they wanted the day off, and we only ended up with seventeen registrations to fill the field. Trev started out valiantly and, despite hitting the same tree three times on the first, he soldiered on until the sixth when his state of health got the better of him, and he had to gracefully withdraw. Look after yourself old mate and take it easy. Noodles on the other hand, lasted until the 13th at which stage he decided that discretion was the better part of valour, and he also withdrew to avoid blowing a fuse entirely and actually causing equipment damage. For the rest of the field, the weather was kind and didn’t get too steamy. The course was also kind, at least to some, but the trees and hazards still could have their nasty way with those who strayed from the straight and narrow.

Now, don’t you just love it when somebody says, on the 8th tee – I don’t want to put the moz on you, but you’re playing really well. And don’t you just hate it when the drive gets caught up in the trees. Fortunately, H was able to recover the situation and get in with a bogey and not have to beat somebody about the ears for putting the moz on him. An exemplary round all round but a couple of double bogies just prevented Harry from achieving his target of breaking 80 and limited his point scoring to 40 to take out the top points for the day.

Targe seems to have found his groove in recent times. He even managed to par the second today which is still quite a feat even though the tee was on the front box. With his handicap, that amounted to a very handy four points on the way to a total of 39. Ryan (the Unreadable) was able to match Harry for points on the front nine, but he fell just the one short on the back to tie it up with Targe for second place.

Brendon also set a fairly cracking pace on the front nine with a tally of 21 which must surely have had him anticipating potential glory at the end of the day. Unfortunately, the mojo seems to have departed a little early, although he did still manage to break his handicap with a final score of 37 points. Chrispy had the handicapper scratching his head there for a moment. The score at the top of the card said 37 but the score at the bottom of the card said 35. Fortunately, the computer agreed with the score at the top of the card and so, Chrispy maintained his placing as equal third. Blame little brother!

There was a suggestion that Zimmer had applied the handbrake a little too severely after he had matched Brendon with a 21 on the front. Perhaps just a little too much youthful exuberance. Bob struggled for nine holes. Not so much with his golf as with his rather recalcitrant buggy. Bob blamed a pothole on the path down from the first for ‘breaking’ it. Must speak to the course management about that! Treasurer Noodles, on the other hand struggled with accounting for two strokes per hole and so Bob only had 33 points rather than the 34 that was announced. However, this turned out to be a happy happenstance for Blighty who was promoted to a point with a share of fifth place.

For the second week in a row, the ProPin was set on the 4th and it took a couple of groups before somebody was able to put their name on the chit. It seems that the ball headed straight for the hole but had just a little too much pace and glided by ever so close to finish 2.85m past to collect the money for Ken. The first BallPin was set on the 15th and there was a contender early on that was good enough to fend off all comers and the name on the chit was Captain Matt. On the 18th, the pin was on the lower deck and there was a bit of a contest with Brendon easing out Damo for the ball. Matt was the only one of the contenders to make the birdie and this could go some little way to explaining why we only managed four for the day.

Damo was telling a story about the 45m putts that he was faced with last Sunday. He then lines up on the practice green, aims for the furthest hole (maybe not quite 45m) and sinks the putt. He reckoned he wouldn’t be able to repeat it within 2m and he was right. Blighty was so worried about driving into the tree on the left of the 9th that he used the hardest part of the tee box and struggled to get a long tee in deep enough. He took a shorter tee and promptly hit his drive into the tree. Not sure exactly how many lefties we have in the Club, but, today there were three of them in the one group – Trev, Stan and Porks. You could almost say that there was something sinister about that!

There are suggestions that there are manifestations of the Bermuda Triangle out there on the course after balls mysteriously disappeared for Damo and Zimmer on the 11th and the 14th. Bob possibly thinks the same about the 14th but the consensus was that the ball hadn’t actually cleared the penalty area.

SOS dashed off early, presumably because he had to go to work and not because of his performance on the 16th. The contact off the tee was not good and the ball finished nestled in a nearby bush. The first attempt at a left hand shot out of the bush was not successful and this was quickly followed by a second. In the end, he gave up and got the ball out with a right hand swing.

Damo bellied his tee shot on the fourth and the ball went a low mile through the green and across the 5th tee into the bushes. When he made it to the area, lo and behold, there was his ball in the middle of the tee ground. Obviously, the fickle finger of fate had come to the rescue and Damien was more than happy to play it as it lay.

Don’t forget to register your intentions for the Matchplay. Just over a month until we do the seedings. If you haven’t indicated your wish to be included by the deadline, there will not be a second chance. But, please consider not registering if you think work, family or other commitments will prevent you from complying with the deadlines for the rounds. Also, the AGM is coming up and all Committee positions are up for contest. If a current Committee member is planning to retire, please consider arranging for your replacement. Also, don’t be afraid to stand against existing Committeemen, we can pretty much guarantee that this election cannot be ‘stolen’. And remember that the Club is only as good as its leadership group, and you might just be the person to make it better.

The Birthday birdie was so excited to have a job (and a big one) that he almost forgot that he had to get some wishes out to Keith, Jason, and MattA. Hope it is a good one guys I know you will feel hardly a day older.

Results for Saturday, 23 January 2021
1st Harry Boughen(40) 2nd Targe Mifsud(39) 2nd Ryan Porker(39) 3rd Brendon Mitchell(37) 3rd Chris Priems(37) 4th Kazim Akdag(35) 5th Andrew Blight(33) 5th Bob McDonald(33)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (40) 2nd Targe Mifsud (39) 3rd Chris Priems (37)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 4th Ken Watson BallPin No 1 15th Matt Hunt BallPin No 2 18th Brendon Mitchell

Stone the smoking crows on 16 January 2021.

JQ wins
I’d love to get down to single figures!

There was obviously something else on in town today. Or, maybe everybody just decided that, if CJ could have a holiday, they could too. The forecast was for a cooler day with the chance of a shower but surely that was not enough to put people off. There was a bit of a storm went through last night with a ‘son et lumiere’ and that could have explained a no-show if they were still cowering under the doona. So, the upshot of all this was that we had fourteen members and MattV braving the conditions to see who could snag the points on offer. In Matt’s case, it was to fill in his third card, and so he now has a Club handicap that should soon see him on the way to gathering points of his own.

Despite the overnight storm, a short downpour on the way to the course and a couple of showers early in the round, the course was unaffected and, in fact, it was playing well. The fact that the green-keepers did not start clearing the greens of debris until 0730 also seems to have had little effect other than the distraction of a howling leaf-blower in the background. This all meant nothing to JQ, who claims to have had a bit of ‘bad’ luck with chips rimming out to millimetres, on his way to a mighty impressive 74 strokes off the beater and +5 in the points department. But he also had it a bit the other way as well with a hit on the pin on the 9th (again) and a skinny chip colliding with Matt’s ball on the 13th maybe helping just a little. Plus, he’ll never be able to say that he’s never been on single figures again.

Pepsi also had a +3 on the front nine but he fell just one short of matching JQ on the back to finish with +4. He was pretty happy with his game, and he wasn’t disappointed about not winning because he sees the wisdom of playing often and coming second in the race for Championship points. As well as the exercise that he got playing the round of golf, Peps also got in a little bit extra after the game as he chased after a raven that had nicked off with his part packet of ‘darts’. The birds were obviously desperate as one had a couple of goes at nicking Blighty’s clip-lok containing his miscellaneous bibs and bobs. And this after undoing the zip on his bag.

Not to make too much of a thing of it, but the next two players also had +3 on the front nine. A few too many short putts that didn’t quite find the hole on the back nine probably made all the difference to Harry and the Beast. Brendon managed to play right to his handicap on the back, and so, he too, joined in to grab the third spot.

Acapulco Bob played a balanced round overall for 4th place with a square card. Zimmer didn’t help his cause with a couple of ‘cover drives’ and he did agonise for quite a while about taking relief on the 13th. His second finished just off the path with the safety rope potentially interfering with his follow through. The shot was well executed but a ‘bad’ bounce left him with a lengthy putt. Undismayed, he just up and rattled it in for his par. Keith had one of his ‘uneventful’ days but was happy that he now had a battery that would last eighteen holes and, as a result, he managed to bring himself into 5th place alongside Zimmer by matching the -1 score.

The ProPin was set on the 4th and MattV, playing in the second group, pretty much put the game out of contention with his tee shot to 2.28m. It wasn’t the only green he drove either when his ball rolled comfortably onto the green at the 11th. In his own words, there was a bit of anger involved. The BallPin event was pretty much a one-man show at the end of the day when Pepsi took out all contenders to be owed balls for his shots to the 12th and the 18th. Pepsi did manage to get his birdie on the 12th but was not so skilful on the 18th. Zimmer managed consecutive birdies on the 3rd and 4th and just missed three in a row on the 5th. All in all a good day, and we managed 16 between the lot of us.

While on the topic of birdies, the Birthday Birdie will need to shake a feather this week to get out wishes to Rob (Real) and SteveK who actually share the day. Here’s hoping it will be a good one for both of them.

Blighty had one of those days. He played with a coloured ball and seemed to have difficulty in remembering whether it was yellow, or orange, or white, or…..Then he dropped a draughtie. Then his buggy chased him across the 18th green. Then the raven tried to steal his goodies. Maybe next week will turn out better. Brendon reckoned he was robbed on the 4th when his drive hit the green and could easily have been in the money, except that it took a sideways bounce and headed for the fence. Spin will do that to you.

JQ sprayed his drive from the 17th and was so concerned about the fate of the group two in front that he rushed ahead to check that he hadn’t caused any damage. This brought him into the ‘firing line’ as RodG prepared to tee off. Don’t worry, JQ’s easy to hit over was the advice from the bleachers. And, anyway, Rod might have been looking for some sort of revenge after he was narrowly missed by a rocket launched by Matt from the 14th tee that bounced on the concrete path up to the 15th and went close to finishing OOB half way to the 15th green.

Don’t forget to register your intentions for the Matchplay. The close off is not until the end of February and you can change your mind up until then just by registering that change. If you do not register, you will not be included in the seeding draw, which is limited to 32 players. If you do not wish to take part or cannot guarantee to comply with the schedule of the rounds please do not put your name forward so that we can avoid the dreaded ‘walkover’ result if at all possible.

Results for Saturday, 16 January 2021
1st John Quinlan(+5) 2nd Andrew Petricola(+4) 3rd Harry Boughen(+2) 3rd Bill Eastoe(+2) 3rd Brendon Mitchell(+2) 4th Bob McDonald(□) 5th Kazim Akdag(-1) 5th Keith Delzoppo(-1)

Seniors Results: 1st Bill Eastoe (+2) 1st Harry Boughen (+2) 2nd Bob McDonald (□) 3rd Keith Delzoppo (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Matthew Van Dam BallPin No 1 – 12th Andrew Petricola BallPin No 2 – 18th Andrew Petricola

A day of chasin’ Jason on 09 January 2021

Jason shoots for the moon.
Luckily, I levelled out!

There has been a hint in the forecasts that we could be in for a couple of days of summer and there were plenty of short sleeves out in support of that idea today. Things remained reasonably pleasant if you could stay in the deep shade but when needs must venture into the open sun, you could tell that the day was just a bit on the warm side. So, with light air and firm fairways, it was to be expected that there would be some good scoring to be had. We almost had only twenty players on the course after Michael’s Mum lead him astray last night but, after Blighty pulled the pin, Michael decided that he had better make the effort to make the numbers twenty one. And, then, there was Ben’s mate Atila. And no, he is not a Hun. But he is over from Adelaide which could make him sort of Hunnish.

On the basis of his round today, Jason has a new nickname – Handbrake Hopkins. He absolutely slaughtered the front nine, carding only 2 over the par, for a massive 24 points. He flirted briefly with repeating the performance on the back but then jammed on the handbrake to produce a relatively paltry sixteen points over the back nine to post the winning score for the day of forty points. “Dirty Harry” was heard to mutter “Make my day!”

“Old Reliable” continued with his (don’t say boring!) habit of whacking them down the centre of the fairway to be not far behind Jason in the scoring stakes on the front nine. Unfortunately, Craig was not able to take advantage on the back and also only managed to score sixteen points to finish still three points behind the leader at the end of the day.

Targe plays the pink
If I have to wear a pink tutu, I’m outa here!

Zimmer had to zimm off after the round so there was not much of a fix on his game generally but, with a fair scattering of three pointers, he was able to match his handicap on the day. Targe teed off with his pink ball today and managed to survive at least one and a half holes with it. He won’t have to worry about the suggestion that the pink ball will require playing in the first group in a pink tutu, at least for this week, with his third placing. Porks also had an ‘average’ round to join in on the third place points.

Brendon had his moments today, and you could have been forgiven for thinking that he was protecting his handicap with some of the uncharacteristic ‘chunky’ shots that he played at times. On the 14th, nobody could catch the flight of his tee-shot other than it went high and so a precautionary provisional was taken. As it turned out, the ball was found quite easily, about a metre from the penalty pond. The scoreline of 35 points was good enough to nab fourth place on his Pat Malone.

Michael came in slightly less hungover than he was at the start and opined that his score of 34 points would probably be good enough to snare a share of fifth place. And he was right. He ‘staggered’ to the podium alongside Gordon (heavily handicapped by a monstrous gold medal), Adam, Damo and Bob.

The first BallPin today was on the 7th hole and, luckily, the tees were placed not too far back giving more of a chance to all. Targe had ‘discarded’ the pink ball by this stage and he did not come up at all short to leave his tee shot inside a couple of metres and pin high. With an eminently gettable birdie putt for five points, the pressure was really on and, in the end, it was a four for only three points. The second BallPin was on the 18th, as usual, and there were any number of smiley faces on the chit. The one that counted, however, was that for Porks and for some reason he had a sad face. Maybe it was due to the fact that he didn’t make the birdie. The one name on the chit that did get the birdie was Ben, which bagged him four points (out of nine on the back) and a place along with nine others who also bagged birdies on the day.

Atila made a valiant effort to snare the Jackpot ProPin on the 15th but he didn’t account for Craig who, with the smell of money in his nostrils, smacked it to 1.6m to collect the big dollars. He made sure that he, too, was in the Birdie Brigade.

The trees came in for a fair amount of comment today. Ben’s group spent a fair amount of time searching for his ball after at least fourteen close encounters of the timber kind. Simon ‘promised’ to come in to fell the tree on the 4th after it ‘got in the way’ and spoiled his enjoyment of playing the hole for the last time. Harry absolutely ‘creamed’ his second shot on the first, only to have it dead-centre the only ball sized branch for miles that happened to be anywhere near the desired flight path.

Simon was careful today to avoid getting into any bunkers as he wants to save that ‘pleasure’ for his new track on Bribie Island. Damo wasn’t quite so lucky and found the sand by the green on the 6th. Not being one to hold back, Damo gave it a fair bit. Gordon, standing across the green behind the pin was sprayed with sand but swears that the ball did not come out with the sand. Despite a thorough search the ball could not be found. Damo reckons the ball must have buried itself into the face of the bunker.

JQ had hopes for an Eagle on the 9th today after his ball ‘split the pin’ just a little too hard and ricocheted off at ninety degrees to leave him with a couple of putts for his par. Trev was the only one who owned up to a draughtie today but according to all reports it could almost qualify as a ‘trick shot’. Seems the ball went straight up and virtually landed back onto the tee peg.

It is the time of year that we have to start thinking about a couple of things. The Annual General Meeting of the Club is scheduled for 6th March and all positions on the Committee will be up for grabs. So, the incumbents should be thinking about succession planning if they plan not to continue in their current role. Club members should be lobbying for support if there is a role that they would like to take on. Doesn’t matter if it is already occupied, a bit of competition never goes astray.

March also marks the start of the Matchplay Championship. There is a Registration Form on the website under the Player Registration. Could everybody please use the form to indicate whether or not they wish to be included in the seeding for the event. If you have any doubts as to whether you can comply with the playing requirements due to work, travel etc etc, please register NO so that we can minimise the use of the ‘Walkover’ result. The draw for seedings (1 to 36 and 1 plays 36, etc – not for opponents) will be done after the round on 27th February.

Results for Saturday, 09 January 2021
1st Jason Hopkins(40) 2nd Craig Cameron(37) 3rd Kazim Akdag(36) 3rd Targe Mifsud(36) 3rd Ryan Porker(36) 4th Brendon Mitchell(35) 5th Michael Gourlay(34) 5th Gordon Hill(34) 5th Adam King(34) 5th Damien Lee(34) 5th Bob McDonald(34)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (37) 2nd Targe Mifsud (36) 3rd Bob McDonald (34) 3rd Gordon Hill (34) 3rd Michael Gourlay (34)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin15th Craig Cameron BallPin No 1 7th Targe Mifsud BallPin No 2 18th Ryan Porker