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Monthly Archives: December 2013

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Only 362 days till Christmas!

Says it all and that’s no lie!

There were eight in the bed and the middle one said…….Well, if we had  had a bed then we could have played that game instead of the one that at least some of us did.  No excuse though, it was a beautiful day and we were finished before the heat really kicked in.  The course was is good condition and the greens, particularly the damaged ones are improving in leaps and bounds.  A slight heavy handedness with the watering by the ground staff meant that a couple were a little saturated early in the round but I guess they can’t be blamed with a hot dry wind in the offing.

With no points in the offing and the handicapper hog-tied a few of the lads decided to pull out the stoppers and have a red hot go.  Though he is determined not to let his new role as Club Captain go to his head again, Chrispy was the one to catch and he rattled off a 75 off the stick to tally up 41 points from his Club handicap.  Nothing less than a two pointer the whole round.

Damo was so impressed by the announcement of the biggest turn-around Claytons Trophy that he decided to get himself in the running (except that social rounds don’t count for that either).  He didn’t keep a club score but tallied up 40 points inside so could easily have been up there with Chris.  He was test driving a demo driver and was absolutely creaming it, going close to reaching the green on the 16th.  So impressed, he wants the demo and not the new club.

Dennis Tiernan was back on deck for the first time for a while after putting in the hard yards at the Darklands and showed that he has not lost a lot of touch as a result and put together a very creditable 39 points.  He was a bit cheesed that Chris had pipped him in the inside grade as well but he should pick up a ball.

Targe was another one who did reasonably well although he also did not keep a club card but he reported that he choked on the last two holes so we will have to take his word for it.

There was a ProPin (no distance requirement) run on the 12th and when the first group went through, they wondered whether it should have been closest with the second shot.  The second group fared little better and although Chris and Damo were closer to the pin they weren’t on the green and so SOS took the money from Targe by a fairly narrow margin.  It obviously wasn’t all that close to the hole as SOS ended up with a four.

Harry might have made a score were it not for four consecutive scratches in the middle of the round including one four putt green though it is debatable whether it counts or not as he was out of strokes after the first two.  To add insult to injury, on the next hole his ball finished at the butt of a tree with the green out of shot to the left of picture.

MalF is well known for being a consistent two putt man but a few times today he did it in one including a monster on the 17th for a birdie.  Never looked like missing from the moment it left the club.  Dennis would have helped his eclectic no end on a competition day when he racked up three birdies.  And it looks like there might have only been four for the day.

MalA must have terrific reflexes because on one tee shot, his club struck the ground at least 300mm behind the ball but still managed to make contact and end up with an acceptable result.  At least that’s what we would like to think and it wasn’t the other thing  that beats class.

Dennis has developed into a bit of a rock concert groupie, particularly one last week when the majority of the audience were 14 to 18 year old females – and some of the mums weren’t bad either he reckons.

Well that’s all the fun for the time being.  Next week it’s back to Club Events with the first medal for the year up for grabs along with lots of Championship points.  Be there or miss out.


Results for 21 December 2013 – Stuart Clarke Champion of Champions

happy eddie
Wot? No penalty?

What a turn-out.  Could it have been the Champion of Champions event?  Could it have been the Trophy presentations?  Could it have been the AGM?  Or, last but not least, could it have been the prospect of a free Christmas lunch?  No, actually it was the prospect of a great day’s golf with a whole bunch of great mates on one of the nicest little courses for miles around – wasn’t it?

And how did our bevy of budding champions perform?  Without putting too fine a point on it, from the sublime to the ridiculous would sum it up but I’m not going to indicate which end of the scoring one or the other description applies to.

It seems that Eddie couldn’t miss from on and around the green and despite all the complaints about being hard done by the handicapper after his last outing he managed to beat his new handicap by a good margin.  The handicappers only regret is that he wasn’t able to give him another whacking this week.  Despite all that a great round by Ed with 72 off the stick for a nett 61 and a worthy addition to the Stuart Clarke Champion of Champions Trophy.

The only others to have had any chance of challenging were Stefan with nett 63 and AndrewB with nett 65.  Then there was a fair stretch of daylight to the rest of the field.

The rest of the field competed for little other than that Clayton’s Trophy that has become known as Chump of Chumps.  It is still unclear as to whether this should be judged from the front of the field or from the tail but as the President announced from the front perhaps that is the way it should be.

So, the Best of the Rest was a tie between Mostyn and Bill and for the sake of having a declared Chump, Mostyn won that honour in a count back of their 64 nett result.  Don’t worry Bill, there is almost a whole year’s worth of silver-ware out there untouched.  Second Best of the Rest on his Pat Malone was that erstwhile cricketer (who seems to be taking lessons from Warnie if his attention to texting is any guide) Noodles.  Five would-be-if-they-could-bes played to their handicap and wouldn’t have moved even if the event was handicapped and included Chrispy, SOS, Mehm, Trevor and Harry.

There were nearest the pin events but your feckless correspondent didn’t write them down and now can’t remember for the life of him who they were.  If somebody lets me know, the situation can be corrected.  Regardless, there must have been a few birdies as there were complaints about the fact that this round will not count in the eclectic.  There was even a complaint because somebody had a par on the 13th.

Whether it was the Christmas spirit or not, there were a heap of stories around the tees and some of them were real beauties.

SOS off the road
Can you breathe into this tube please, Sir?

Speaking of Christmas spirit, one would have to wonder whether SOS had been imbibing/smoking something to get into this predicament.  It seems he was somehow distracted and pressed the wrong button on his fancy buggy control and swerved it off the track and capsized – obviously didn’t steer into the skid.

Speaking of distractions, there was obviously some sort of emergency at FES as Gordon was seen taking several calls and even trying to putt while continuing a conversation with Targe holding (and dropping) the phone for him.  Needless to say, he missed the putt.

Someone who didn’t miss was MalF on the 18th who, after over-cooking his third from above the green and ending on the lower level, slammed it back up the hill to rattle it in for a fairly respectable four.  Always gets his second putts our Mal!

Our other Mal (A), decided it would be a good day to try out some new runners instead of golf shoes.  One result was that, with the effects of over-night watering still on the grass at the second tee, Mal went close to emulating SOS’s cart and going A over T.  The new shoes seem to have helped his distance control around the green immeasurably as chip and putt finished agonisingly close to the hole but the RDF didn’t kick in till the 18th when he sank a monster to finish the day on a high note.  At the other end of the putting scale, Tony owned up to the dreaded four with the flat stick.

Zimmer was reported to have expressed his disapproval about something or other on or about the 13th.  Whether it was because of that (and this report is unverified), a Happy Gilmour shot on the 14th reputedly carried well past the green.  One shot that did carry past the green on the 14th happened while Harry was taking his putt (which he sank by the way) but could the long hitters please be a bit more circumspect when there is a chance that they can reach the group in front.  Shouting ‘Fore’ is all very well, but it is not always obvious who is the potential recipient of unwelcome attention.

Whilst on the subject of long drives, Oliver was being very pleased with his Titleist ProV and hitting it a country mile.  Then it seems that some jokester got to it and adorned it with a less than delicate logo that snapped his concentration entirely for some little time.  Another one whose concentration was lacking, possibly because of an exceptionally long drive was David, who managed to walk half the distance to his ball before realising that he was carrying only his driver and his bag and buggy were still back at the tee.

Craig might also have been thinking of other things when his first on the 14th went OOB and the replacement ball finished on the 16th green.  Rather uncharacteristically, his club went flying.  Tsk, tsk.  Maybe it had something to do with the Sweet Baby gift bag that was under his table at lunch time.

In the odd shot department, Chrispy was unsure what score to take but ended up only taking the two for a double hit but it seems that the ball bounced several times along the shaft of the club.  If it hadn’t been Chris telling it, I would never have believed it.

It was good to see Bob on deck for the lunch after his recent replumbing job.  It will still be some time before we see him back on the course but he was looking in fine fettle so soon after the event.  It is yet to be seen whether the golf-swing transplant that they did at the same time will be rejected or not but the surgeon is apparently quietly confident that improvement will be in store.

Ken Grist reckons that he has to come back and play at Ivanhoe from time to time to stay sane.  Which reminds me of another statement heard recently – If it wasn’t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

If you want to know who all the trophy winners for last year were go to the Hall of Fame and check the list out.  There are a few other Trophies that deserve a mention – entirely unofficial but interesting none-the-less.

Clubman – for most rounds played – Oliver(44)

Trooper – for grinning and bearing it – Trevor

Biggest Mover – most strokes lost (6.8) (and per round) – Eddie

Biggest Loser – most strokes gained per round – Mehm

Biggest Turnaround – consecutive rounds worse – Dennis

Biggest Turnaround – consecutive rounds better – MalF

Well, that’s it, that’s your lot for this week.

Have a Happy Christmas and a safe and prosperous New Year.  See you bright eyed and bushy tailed on January 4th (if not before).

Results for 14 December 2013 – Vin O’Meara Christmas Cup

Pepsi grinning
Why wouldn’t you be smiling?

Well, if a week is a long time in politics, it can also be a long time in golf as well.  Some of the high fliers from last week didn’t fly quite so high this week and some of the also-rans from last week put in sterling performances to come close to challenging (for points if not for the trophy).

Pepsi wasn’t exactly languishing after the first round but he certainly came back with a vengeance today with a 69 off the beater that included an 8 can you believe.  However, offsetting that was an impressive total of 7 birdies out of a total of 17 for the day.  In the end, Pepsi and Ed ended up equal on the nett scores so a countback was need to determine the winner of the Vin O’Meara Cup and on the back nine it turned out to be Pepsi by a mere half a stroke.  Still, that was all that was needed and Pepsi was certainly very appreciative of getting his name on this prestigious trophy.  It also got him off to a flying start in the Championship race for this year.

Edgar will have to console himself for what might have been.  It was a bit of daylight to second place that was filled by young Zimmer who slipped just a couple of strokes to card a total of 138.  Bill the Beastoe and Mosy had to settle for third place just a stroke behind Zim.  Mostyn claims he was so intent on trying to counter Rodger that he lost the plot about the same time that Rodger did.

The President and the Chief Tee Marshall (Gordon and Chrispy in case you didn’t know) also had their chances to come in higher up the list but didn’t quite cut the mustard.  David followed up on his country form to fill the final spot for the first points of the year.

Mehm would have been happy with his purchase and so would Pepsi both in the main Calcutta and the self purchase event.  Zimmer might have broken even (if you ignore all the other purchases he made).

The ProPin on the 18th didn’t get a taker and so will Jackpot to next week.  SOS managed to get close enough on the 12th to win himself a ball  in the Nearest the Pin.  First blood in the Seniors went to Eddie, Bill and Gordon.

This was also the final round of the Club Stroke Play Championship.  After the three rounds, the clear winner was Pepsi (again) with a nett total of 201.  Another bit of daylight to second place with Zimmer on 205.  Yet another swatch of daylight to Oliver and Bill on 210.  The full details are listed on the appropriate link.

SOS reckoned that if he hadn’t had a couple of sevens he’d have had a couple of sixes.  I guess O’Sullivan is probably an Irish name.  Craig birdied the first and as is often the case for at least some of us, this did not augur well for what was to follow.  Mehm’s barber seems to have had some sort of a lapse in concentration leaving some sort of top-knot on top and Mehm was sporting a dressing covering a lesion.  Rumour has it that it was some sort of surgical procedure – nothing serious we hope Mehm!

This one is a bit hard to believe but our resident certified rules adjudicator was reported to have taken advice to misinterpret the rules relating to relief from a lateral water hazard.  And this after it had been so carefully explained on these pages in the recent past.

Oliver seems to have gotten over the yips that he displayed last week.  People were beginning to wonder whether he really had been nobbled.

Next week will see the last official day for this calendar year when the various trophy Event winners from the past Competition Year will battle it out for the Stuart Clarke Champion of Champions.  The rest of us will battle it out for a hunger for the Christmas Lunch that has been arranged.  There will also be the Trophy presentations and the AGM so, all in all, a full day.  No excuses will be accepted for sneaking off early, not even twenty-first birthdays (unless it is your own).

Results for Saturday, 14 December 2013
1st (cb) Andrew Petricola(69/64/133) 1st Ed Kloprogge(65/68/133) 2nd Kazim Akdag(68/70/138) 3rd Bill Eastoe(74/65/139) 3rd Mostyn Gregg(67/72/139) 4th Gordon Hill(73/67/140) 4th Chris Priems(70/70/140) 5th David Howard(74/68/142)

What the heck is slope?


You have all probably heard talk of the Course Slope that is to be introduced to the Golf Australia Handicapping System in January.

What is the course slope?

The slope is intended as a measure of the difference in difficulty of playing a course for a scratch (handicap 0) golfer and a bogie (handicap 18) golfer.

It is calculated by carefully measuring the course and applying statistical factors for how far and how accurately the two standards of player can hit a ball.  It takes into account the type and placement of hazards, the normal run on the course and the difficulty of the greens.  This has now been done for every course in Australia and for every set of tees on each course.

A course of ‘average’ difference in difficulty will have a slope of 113.  A course that is relatively easier for a bogie player will have a slope lower than 113 while a course more difficult for a bogie player will be higher.  The lowest possible value for slope is 55 while the highest possible is 155.  Ivanhoe Blue tees has been rated as having a slope of 103.

What will happen in January?

For a few days in January (20 – 23), the Golf Access system will be off-line while all registered players data will be processed to create a new value to be known as GA Handicap.  This will be the handicap that you would be expected to play to on a course with a slope of 113.  This is what will appear on the GolfLink website after January 23 2014.

The effect of this calculation will vary depending on whether you play in competition on different courses.  For those that only play at Ivanhoe your GA Handicap will be your current Handicap*113/103.  This means that somebody on 19.8 would get a GA Handicap of 21.7.  Somebody on 6.5 would have a GA Handicap of 7.1.

If you play competition on multiple courses, the effect is more difficult to assess as it will depend on the variation in the slopes of the courses that you have played on and your GA handicap could be higher or lower as the case may be.

What handicap do I play off?

If you are one of those that play competition only at Ivanhoe, when you play at Ivanhoe, your Daily Handicap is determined from GA Handicap*103/113 and you end up exactly back where you started from – 19.8/20 and 6.5/7.

However, if you play at another course, the multiplying factor changes.  On a course with a slope of 139, the player with a GA Handicap of 21.7 would have a Daily Handicap of 21.7*139/113 = 26.7 (rounded to 27 – seven strokes more than playing at Ivanhoe) while the GA Handicap of 7.1 would go to 8.7 (9 – two strokes more than at Ivanhoe).

I’m no mathematician, you might say, what about all these calculations.  Don’t worry, you won’t have to do any.  All you will have to know will be your GA Handicap.  There will be a look-up table provided for whichever set of tees you are playing from and by reading across to your GA Handicap (exact eg 21.7) the table will show what your Daily Handicap will be (already rounded as required).

What else is changing?

At the same time there will be a number of other changes introduced.

                Daily Scratch Rating (DSR)

This will be the equivalent of the old CCR but updated to take advantage of computerisation and some fancy statistical analysis that has been done on the vast database of competition information from around Australia.  The DSR will be allowed to vary more than the old CCR and can be up to four more and three less than the ASR for the tees played.

This rating is used only for handicapping purposes and is intended to compensate for changes in the way the course plays with the seasons (more run in summer, less in winter) and also from daily weather events.  It could even be different between morning and afternoon for different competitions.

The DSR will only affect handicapping and will not affect Competition results.

                Stableford Handicapping Adjustment (SHA)

This will be applied to Stroke events and will have the effect of eliminating the odd horrendous hole that we all have from time to time for the purposes of handicapping.

This will require that, after the regulation comes in, although you will have to play out all strokes in a Stroke event, you will also have to score your card as if it were a Stableford event.  A blow out hole gets no stableford points.  When your score is entered for handicapping purposes, it will be the Stableford score that will be entered and this will be converted to equivalent strokes using your Daily Handicap and the DSR.  The stableford score will have no effect on Competition results.

This is not likely to have a huge effect on your ultimate handicap if the horrendous hole(s) occur in a bad round as it is unlikely to ever appear in your handicap calculation (best 8 of 20).  It can have an effect if there are one or two in an otherwise excellent round.  One result of this should be to discourage anybody ‘throwing’ a hole or two to protect/improve their handicap.

                Conforming Social Scores

The system will allow the use of Social rounds provided that the Home Club has chosen to allow Social scores to be used and the player must have nominated before the round starts that it is to count for handicap purposes.

As for all handicap eligible scores, the round must be played and scored according to the Rules of Golf and must be marked by an accompanying player.

                Four-ball Scores

The method used will be very similar to the current method but a Club may choose not to handicap four-ball scores if they believe their circumstances do not support four-ball handicapping

                9 Hole and Incomplete Scores

This allows for 9 hole rounds and incomplete rounds (for whatever reason) to be used for the purpose of establishing an official handicap.

In essence, incomplete scores will not be projected more than1 hole for a 9 hole score or 2 holes for 18.  Nine hole scores will be stored and combined with the next 9 hole score that is submitted, taking into account the relevant course rating for the two nines, for the purposes of handicapping.


The last three points are provided for completeness only, as they are unlikely to affect people playing in our competition, but they might be of interest if you play in other events or wish to have short rounds considered for your official handicap

Hopefully, I have made this clear enough but if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me by phone or e-mail or button-hole me next time you are at the course.