The golf was hot, both literally and figuratively.  The morning started out pleasantly enough with the mercury hovering at about the overnight minimum of 20C.  But, as the sun rose in the sky, the temperature began to climb and when the northerly started to kick along, the old thermometer started to work overtime.  By the time the round had finished, it was pushing up to 38C with every promise of reaching the predicted max of 42C.  And people were asking why we were teeing off so early.  Those were the usual batch of late-comers of course but they did make the numbers up to sixteen which probably wasn’t too bad, given the holiday season and the forecast which certainly kept a few away.

But the hot and, later, blustery conditions didn’t faze the cool customers who pretty much reveled in the conditions to come in with cards showing nett scores of 64.  And, who were the coolest of dudes in the club.  None other than Dale and Porks and so it came down to a count-back to determine just who would collect the first Monthly medal for the year.  Even that was a close run thing but it only required a consideration of the back nine holes which Dale won by half a stroke – 30.5 to Ryan’s 31.0.  Because of Dale’s win and consequent handicap adjustment, there was a certain amount of discussion about the setting of the handicaps for the Priems Family Challenge at Growling Frog next week.  It seems that there was some sort of agreement about handicaps when the challenge was issued that can’t be broken but altogether more energy was spent arguing about how many slabs and who bought and who waited on the winners.  Porks, on the other hand, was probably ruing the four putts that he took on the 12th after putting his drive onto the green.

At one stage MattN thought that he might have had a chance at snaring first place and he was pretty happy at the prospect of a one stroke change in his handicap by dint of playing exactly to his with a nett 68.  Apparently sixteen was his handicap before his break away from the game and he was happy to be able to say that he was back to his old form.  Maybe next week, Matt.  Matt did manage to score a birdie on the 17th and so he did contribute to the grand total of four that we managed to scrabble together.  A fairly paltry tally, really.  And while on the topic of the 17th, Brent plonked his drive onto the green with a good chance to take out the Eagles Nest with any sort of a putt.  Unfortunately (or fortunately for the Eagle) the putt did not drop.  But, then again, neither did the birdie putt and he had to settle for a simple par for the hole.  Simon sprayed his drive on the 17th a bit and it looked to be heading out onto the bike-path or even further when a friendly tree intervened and dropped the ball just back into play but with a back-swing severely limited by a low hanging branch.  Simon  plucked it out of there and put it onto the green and then just missed the birdie by the barest of margins.  Best almost OOB to almost birdie ever according to one observer.

Trevor and MattH held the Club-house lead for a while (they were in the first group) and if they had held on to it there would have had to have been a count-back which Trevor would have won comfortably.  So, who would have thought that Trev had managed not one, but two draughties during the round.  Plus he left quite a few putts hanging on the edge of the hole.  Sounds as if he could have won the event outright but for these few minor hiccups.  Matt played his third on the 9th to within ten centimetres of the hole and strode up purposefully to just ‘knock’ it in.  Wouldn’t you know it, he missed and a surefire par turned so easily into a bogie.

Michael expressed the view that he hadn’t held a club for something like eight weeks and anything was possible given that he was playing for pride alone.  So, he proceeds to keep whacking them straight down the centre of the fairway and finishes the front nine just one stroke over par and that included a double bogie.  Another couple of doubles on the back took the shine off a bit and he managed to gather 4th place with his nett 72.  Brent’s lapse in putting on the 17th brought him back to line up with Michael in the field.  And, last of all was Brendon, who declared himself more than happy to collect a single point for his 73 particularly with a triple on the 6th.

The BallPin today was on the 12th and MattH, in the first group, pretty much shut out everybody by putting it pretty close to an awkward pin position for the conditions at the time (the wind had sprung up by this).  The mobile ProPin was on the 15th and, whether it was the wind or whether everybody was flagging in the heat by then, nobody managed to put their ball within 5m so there will be a Jackpot to next week.  The permanent ProPin on the 18th was a different matter and Gordon went within the 5m at 4.42m which was just a bit too far to hope for a birdie.

Chrispy is still saying ‘Shank you very much for the rabbits’.  He is contemplating more (real) coaching and he might even join Harry for a practice session during the week though probably best to have the coaching session first.  Opinion was pretty much divided as to whether the greens were fast or slow.  Some complained of leaving them consistently short while some complained about leaving them too long.  Targe, on the other hand, couldn’t even get them from close up.

Simon is giving up the fags (about time!) and has one of those nicotine puffers to ease the pain.  Except that he reckons a lung infection prevents him from using it and he has to have a ciggy instead.  Go figure!  Noodles wasn’t too far out of the points today and he managed to stick to his new year resolution for one more round although there was a report that it was a close run thing at one stage.  Rather unusually, he was almost joined in the club abuse stakes by Pepsi who didn’t have one of his better days and he was noticed buying a round of drinks on account of a draughtie on the 3rd.  Noodles was desperately trying to work out if it was the earliest (on the course) for 2018.  He was certainly beaten on a time basis by Trev but there was some confusion about which occurred on the earliest hole on the course and it might very well have been a tie.

Gordon was back on deck after his little run in with a detached retina.  It seems that the welding job was successful though there are still a couple of minor issues that should settle down with time.

The Birthday Birdie has a small work load this week with wishes to send to DennisW who couldn’t join us today because of a family function.  perhaps it was an early birthday party.

The layout of the Championship report has been modified a little.  If you want to see your name and points in bold font you have to play in a competition.  Although it doesn’t actually exist at this stage,  Michael’s suggestion of a Vardon Trophy table has been added with players listed in order of  Strike Rate (points per competition game).  When a player ‘qualifies’ (suggested minimum 15 rounds) their name and stats will appear in bold font.  At this stage, for interest only, but, maybe, it will become a real event in future.  The Player Statistics page has been updated (usually done every MM) so have a look at how you have been going and have a look at your mates (assuming you have any) as well.

Results for Saturday, 06 January 2018
1st Ryan Porker(64) 1st Dale Webb(64) medal (c/b) 2nd Matt Nicholls(68) 3rd Matt Hunt(71) 3rd Trevor Jackson(71) 4th Michael Gourlay(72) 4th Brent Rowley(72) 5th Brendon Mitchell(73)

Seniors Results: 1st Trevor Jackson (71) 2nd Targe Mifsud (74) 3rd Gordon Hill (75) 3rd Harry Boughen (75) 3rd Simon Powell (75)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Gordon Hill BallPin 12th Matt Hunt

---

As the calendar year wound down to its inevitable end, the Poms looked like a chance to win a match, Noodles’ resolution looked like it got through another week and seven happy chappies took to the course to keep their hand in.  Or in some cases, to have a look at how far out it was.  Although the conditions couldn’t be construed as being much different from last week, the fairly spectacular scores of last week were noticeably absent.  Perhaps the Christmas turkey, ham and pudding were still weighing heavily on the contenders and interfered with the smoothness of the swing.

There was one person who didn’t weigh too heavily and that was Noodles who came in with the best score of +2 points.  He reckoned he could have had a +10 if he hadn’t had to play with Targe and Porks.  They were playing as a three and were being urged by the group of four to keep it moving.  In the spirit of doing so, Noodles chipped/pitched into the hole on the 7th from the middle of the 6th fairway for a birdie to add to an impressive list of plus scores (6) on the front nine.  The scoring wasn’t quite so prolific on the back and at one stage, reports suggest that he might have gone close to breaking his New Year Resolution.

DennisW had a +1 for the day and he obviously works very hard at his game as his golf cap is heavily stained with sweat and he assures that he did not wear it while he was in Swan Hill working on the harvest.  Porks was so keen to get to the game that he left his current squeeze at home in bed and hoped that she would remember to get out in time to go to function.  He over-played one shot on the 11th that finished well into the oval and that required some joggers to need to take evasive action to avoid copping one in the shins.  Despite that he managed to also get a +1.  He also took out the friendly ProPin (which had Jackpotted from last week) with a shot to just a touch under 2m.  Not a bad day’s work.

Targe was another who reckoned that he could have scored better than he did although the idea was scoffed at by his playing companions.   One shot from under a tree was interfered with by a low branch and Targe reckoned that he made a practice swing to gauge the effect.  Others reckon it was an air swing down to the fact that he made his second (successful) stroke without pausing after the first. He did manage a square card despite this little hiccup.

Keith was not able to repeat his form from last week and when asked how come he could score 42 points last week, he answered ‘Because we were playing Stableford’.  Boom, boom!  Chrispy is still suffering from the short shank and still seeks redemption.  Either he should listen to Noodles (not sure why) or he should get some more coaching and practice.  Otherwise, it might not go away and how bad would that be?

The serious business of playing for points and trophies gets under way again next week with the January Monthly Medal.  It could be a chance to get in early while some are still goofing off on holiday.

There is a Pro-Am Event to be held on King Island (Cape Wickham and Ocean Dunes)14-15 May next year and the Course management are looking for expressions of interest in taking part.  The cost is $1295 twin share (plus $100 single supplement but limited numbers) with a 10% deposit on acceptance and the balance 60 days before departure.  Drinks and, if required, motorised cart and club hire are not included.  If you are interested, in the first instance you should contact Sienna.  Places are limited and it is not clear how participants might be selected if there are surplus numbers.

 

Despite the need to get out and do the last minute Christmas shopping, there were ten members who made it to the course to try out their clubs, maybe for the last time, just in case Santa delivered them a new set on Christmas Day.

However, what Santa did deliver was some remarkable scores and a respite from the hands of the handicapper since the event was purely a social one.  There was a discussion about whether it was a rule that more than six players constituted a Club Event.  However, a search of the Committee minutes, the club rules and other sources suggested that there had only been a ruling on the home team during the Annual Challenge and so, for the moment, at least, the day had to remain as a Social Event.

So, Keith will be a happy man on two accounts.  The first being that he put together a blinder of a round with 83 off the stick and a total of 43 Stableford points to come out the clear winner on the day.  The second, that he didn’t lose a heap of strokes in the process.  It didn’t all go easily for Keith though.  On the 2nd, the tee was placed about as far back as it can go on the bank but when Keith reached the teeing ground, he found that he didn’t have his club with him.  Ed refused to lend him his on the grounds that it would break the Rules of Golf and so Keith had to trudge back to his bag to get a club so that he could legally play his shot.

Fairly close behind was another Senior in the person of Allan who managed a very commendable 40 points and showed some of the form that he was known for of old.  The scoring rate was obviously just too much for the Thunderbird though as just as it arrived at the 18th green it threw a belt or trashed a gearbox or something and it had to be half pushed/half carried back to the car in shame.

The conditions must have suited the older members of the club because the next spots were filled by Harry with 38 points and close behind was Ed with 37.  Ed sprayed his tee shot from the 18th a bit and was over behind the 9th green to play his second.  The pin on the 18th was on the bottom tier and his chip rolled across the top tier, came to a stop on the verge of the slope down and then started rolling again to finish within easy distance of the hole for his par.  The Seniors didn’t have it all on their own as Dale came in with 37 points as well to head up the youngsters.

If there had been points to give out, then Noodles would have been the last to collect one with his score of 32 points.  The most notable thing about Noodles game was the fact that he has resolved not to throw a club for the rest of this competition year and he has managed to get through one game without doing so.

Chrispy is hoping for what is popularly known as the ‘Short Shank Redemption’.  Chris had a lesson to attempt to fix his problem and the changes made were remarkably effective – during the lesson.  Despite applying the principles taught, Chris reckoned that instead of getting onto the green, he ended up going around it.  In desperation, he adopted a baseball grip and managed to improve the standard in the latter half of the back nine.  It has nothing to do with his golfing problems but he has taken to drinking his beer through a straw. The reason is to slow himself down because he drinks too fast.  Not sure whether that idea was his or Carolyn’s.

Mal Fleming was back with us for his first round for quite a while and he showed that he can still hit a ball pretty well though he might not quite be up to playing to his old handicap and his next couple of cards will be used to review whether his handicap might need to be adjusted.  Welcome back Mal!

There was a chip in of cash for a ProPin competition on the 18th and, despite the pin being on the lower deck and a couple of almost on the green shots, nobody was successful and so there will be a Jackpot of the pool to next week.  A good excuse for those already in to come back and have another go and an even better one for those not yet in to came in and pinch the loot.  This week, it has to go off.

Here’s hoping that everybody had a happy and safe Christmas and that the New Year brings further happiness and better golf.

 

 

 

The year came to an end with quite a bang with no less than four events to be finalised in the course of one round of the course, of course.  This makes it rather hard to know where to start but it could explain why there were no less than twenty nine players out to play and about four more to partake of the Christmas style lunch that was served up afterwards.  Without mining the database, this could very well be a record attendance.  Among those extras was Mal, who has had an extended lay-off due to some health issues but he is making a come-back to golf and is hoping to be back on the track with us in the near future.

Given that the original event for the day was the Stuart Clarke Champion of Champions, it is probably appropriate to start there.  The conditions for golf were just about ideal.  The weather was fine and clear and the course had dried out a bit after the recent rain event.  There was little wind and the sun soon dried off the dew from the greens and they ran, generally, smooth and true.  As a result there was some good scoring and some that might be classed as not so good.  There were two stand-out rounds brought in by DennisW and Harry who both managed to put together 41 points and so it was down to that peer of the realm Count Back to determine the ultimate winner of the Champion of Champions for 2017.  Dennis pipped Harry by 22 points to 21 on the back nine.  Not all that far behind, after a period of fairly thin pickings, was RodG with a very commendable 39 points.

Of course, there is the complementary event to the CoC, known affectionately (or not) as the Chump of Chumps for those that were not quite skillful (or lucky) enough to make their way into the main event.  The best of the rest on the day was Big Joe, who was out again during the week getting some tips from Little Joe, and he proved that he was no slouch by making 38 points.

Next cab off the rank on the events front was the Vin O’Meara.  This event had the potential for being a closely fought contest with quite a number of players within easy striking distance and a fair amount of folding riding on the result for backers and jockeys alike.  Would anybody crack or would anybody star, that was the question.  As it turned out,  those really in contention neither cracked nor starred and the field mostly just ‘rippled’.  In the end, the late shift finishes didn’t get to Jason who put in two very steady, handicap breaking, rounds to get the drinking cup with a total of 130 nett.  And there was nobody happier than Rob at the result.  Just behind, and all probably a bit unlucky to miss out on snatching (or sharing except for that notorious Count) the glory were Damo, Joe and Pepsi.

Keith and Simon tied it up for 3rd place, just a few too many strokes adrift to have been considered a challenge.  There was another tie for 4th with Gordon trying to pick Rob’s pocket as they stood together on the podium.  Noodles slipped back from his first week spot into 5th and he was joined by the most improved point gatherer, MattH.  We won’t say who slipped furthest out of the first week points positions will we Chrispy.

Now we come to the Strokeplay Championship.  This was fought out over three rounds, having started way back at the December Monthly Medal in November.  The Off-the-stick Championship went to none other than Pepsi (surprise, surprise) with a total score over the three rounds of 215.  Not to take anything away from Pepsi’s achievement, it is perhaps a bit unfortunate that urgent family matters kept Michael away from being able to make more of a contest of it.  The runners-up on a fairly distant 240 strokes were Noodles and CraigC.  In the handicap Championship, it is also perhaps not surprising that the winner was Jason after his performance in winning the VOM.  His nett total of 199 translates to the equivalent of three handicap breaking rounds.  Well done and well deserved, Jason.  But, in the end it was a close run thing and Pepsi was only a stroke behind to take out the runner-up spot.

There were the usual nearest the pin competitions and, as usual, there was a certain amount of confusion involved.  But, in the end, it all worked out.  The BallPin was on the 12th and Brendon Onesmileyface was taken out by Gordon Twosmileyfaces but neither were close enough to get the birdie and so they did not contribute to the total of 17 for the day.  The mobile ProPin was on the 15th and Simon was pretty pleased to get his to 1.25m from where he slotted it and did contribute to the birdie total.  The ProPin on the 18th (where it has been every week for the last little age) quite clearly went to Pepsi when his ball finished a mere 72cm from the hole.  Not close enough for the birdie and a chance to square up the VOM and Strokeplay nett scores.

Stef didn’t celebrate his birthday with his best golf but he did claim to be put off by somebody calling ‘fore’ during his swing as he drew it around the bend on the 11th and the ball nearly finished on the green.  There were no draughties reported for the day but Stef can’t blame a disturbing shout for barely passing the red markers on the 3rd.  MattN is hoping to be able to score an eagle soon after putting four balls into the hazard on the 13th and scoring a record (since records started) 14 strokes for the hole.  And, while on the topic of eagles, Stef was on the hunt today and went close a couple of times but none so close as the 17th where his putt just caught the lip and finished a few centimetres past the hole.

Porks and the Beast were having a private long drive competition and it was a pretty close run thing although on one occasion Bill claimed that his ball had landed past Porks but that the ‘backspin’ had brought it back about 20m.  Porks has been adjusting the set on his driver and seems to be torn as to whether to set it to the plus or the minus side of neutral.  Speaking of clubs, Noodles decided that one of his clubs was a bit dirty and that it needed a wash.  After he stripped off his shoes and socks and recovered it from the pond, he played his next few shots in bare feet.

After the round, the membership partook of the usual Christmas style lunch and a few of the cold and frothies.  Some of the more adventurous types adjourned to a local watering hole known as the Roo Bar but so far there are no reports of any shenanigans that ensued.

Mehmet was at the lunch as he wasn’t able to play down to being confined to crutches with a dickie knee.  It seems that some sort of surgery will be involved and it was suggested that he get them to fix his golf swing while they are at it.  Seriously though, hope it all goes well and you are back on deck soon.

After lunch, the trophies were handed out for the year’s events and if you want to see the complete list of suspects you can have a look on the website under Statistics/Hall of Fame.

There are tee times booked for the next two weeks but they will be social rounds only.  You can chip in for ProPins and those that play will be credited with attendance for a social round but there will be no points or handicapping.

Here is a wish that everybody has a safe and happy time over the festive season.  Please don’t drink and drive or do other stupid things (like riding scooters, jumping into swimming pools etc etc) and we look forward to seeing you out on the course for competition in the New Year

Results for Saturday, 16 December 2017
1st Jason Hopkins(64, 66, 130) 2nd Andrew Petricola(66, 65, 131) 2nd Joe Wagenecht(65, 66, 131) 2nd Damien Lee(64, 67, 131) 3rd Simon Powell(68, 67, 135) 3rd Keith Delzoppo(65, 70, 135) 4th Gordon Hill(66, 71, 137) 4th Robert Priems(69, 68, 137) 5th Stephen Butterfield(67, 71, 138) 5th Matt Hunt(72, 66, 138)

Seniors Results: 1st Keith Delzoppo (65,70,135) 1st Simon Powell (67,68,135)  2nd Gordon Hill (71,66,137) 3rd Craig Cameron (69,70,139)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Simon Powell ProPin No 2 18th Andrew Petricola BallPin 12th Gordon Hill