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The Easter Beaster came early on 16 April 2022

Bill feeling pretty pleased
There’s always a rule of thumb – and it worked today.

Maaagnificent, as Rex Hunt was wont to say. What more to say about the weather and conditions at our favourite track. Though Pepsi might have had a different track entirely in mind as he lined up with thirteen others to take on the somewhat thirsty, and, occasionally, baring fairways. It was noted that a member of the groundstaff was assiduously watering the practice green mid-morning, much to the chagrin of the members of the public trying to get in their few putts before tee time. The longer run meant that there were more than a few shots to be played from unaccustomed positions, but that did not prevent more than a few impressive scores being handed in. As usual, there were a few that ‘got away’, but the most original excuse came from SOS who revealed to his group that he had just passed the big five-O. The best wishes supposedly went to his head, and he presented with gashes on the next three holes. Generous spirit that he is, he opened a tab for all to drink his health after the round, which was much appreciated by those that could hang around. Coincidentally, the tab came to sixty-nine, which created its fair share of mirth and banter, both inside and outside the clubhouse.

However, the round of the day, would have to be that put together by Bill. He started off in fine style with a birdie on the first, and completed the front nine just two over the card, and three points to the good. He could only manage a three over the card on the back nine to add another plus to the total, which was enough to grab first place with his +4. Ryan, on the other hand, managed to equal par off the stick on the front nine, and turned for home with +4 on the card. After a great pitch into the 17th green that left him within a metre of the hole, there was every chance that he would match par on the back as well. Unfortunately, the birdie putt did not fall, and neither did the par putt. As a result, the back was three over and one down, which left Ryan in second place with +3.

SOS was feeling pretty pleased with himself either side of the halfway mark as he put together five pluses on the trot. That’s when the birthday ‘celebrations’ kicked in, and he gave a fair number of them back to finally finish the round at +2 and third place. There is no truth to the rumour that he is planning to give up the Highway Patrol for Lost and Found. After Gordon found and returned one of SOS’s many recent losses, SOS promptly lost it again on the second (in plain sight, apparently). While speaking of plain sight, Gordon’s drive on the 12th was a bit right and short, and it headed back down the hill, prompting a comment that it ‘could’ have reached the penalty area. Harry and Stan had trouble understanding why the ongoing search, when the fluorescent yellow ball was lying plainly in sight well short of said penalty area. None so blind…..

Harry was a little disappointed with his front nine when none of his swatch of bogies turned into pars. The back nine was quite a different matter, except for the effect of a visit to the sand-trap on his chance to score on the 13th. The birdie on the 17th, one of the sixteen that we scored today, was seen more as a ‘wasted’ shot than a cause for celebration. Brendon, on the other hand, managed to account for four of our birdies, but punctuated his card, particularly on the back nine, with a fair collection of lost holes. In the end, he finished the round with +1, to share the fourth podium spot with Harry. And, to finish off, it wasn’t noticed at the announcements, that Dale had put his inside card into us rather than his Club card. As a result, the handicap difference meant that his club score became square to the card, and he filled the last spot by himself. CJ and Ken will have to console themselves with the Seniors point that they got instead.

The ProPin today was on the 12th. Harry paced his out, which indicated that the ball was close to the 5m limit. The tape measure proved that was the case by a mere 150mm more. Over-clubbed again! Anyway, enough of the sob stories, the good news is, that there will be a Jackpot on the hole next week. The first BallPin was on the 4th, and Dale was the one to get close enough to get his name on the chit after he managed to ease out Brendon from yet another NTP win. The BallPin on the 18th was uncontested, and probably uncontestable, after Pepsi finished very close from the first group.

Gordon had his fair share of troubles today, and he was looking for every opportunity to improve his chances. He even tried to claim relief from a ‘wood-chipped’ area in the middle of the 11th fairway because of some random spillage from the construction of the storage piles adjacent to the 13th tee. Keith managed to drop his Garmin beside the 12th green, and Stan was able to return it to him at the 15th tee. There is no evidence that Keith’s game was any better, or worse, for not having it. Dale went close to doing himself an injury when he ‘fell’ off the 7th tee. Ryan was a little distracted on the 13th green by the presence of ‘mating’ bees on his line of putt. He reckons that when he politely told them to get a room, one of them tried to attack him. The amateur entomologists among us reckon that, unless they were ‘new age’ bees, mating was a bit of an unlikely activity.

The amateur ornithologists will be interested to know that the Birthday Birdie will be out and about this week to carry some best wishes to Joe Demir. Everybody will be hoping against hope that Joe will come along next week and will emulate SOS’s generosity.

Don’t forget that time is running out for the completion of Round 1 of the Matchplay. Four matches still to play. Reminders will be sent out, but please look at the results table to see for yourself who you are. If round 2 want to play their round, they can. The turn up and play rule for round 2 will start to apply on 07 May.

Results for Saturday, 16 April 2022
1st Bill Eastoe (+4) 2nd Ryan Porker (+3) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (+2) 4th Harry Boughen (+1) 4th Brendon Mitchell (+1) 5th Dale Webb (□)

Seniors Results: 1st Bill Eastoe (+4) 2nd Harry Boughen (+1) 3rd Chris Priems (-1) 3rd Ken Watson (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 4th Dale Webb BallPin No 2 – 18th Andrew Petricola