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Sixteen men on the dead man’s chest played Stableford on 29 July 2017

JQ wins
I dare anyone to call me a windbag!.

The windbags were out today.  If not out on the course, somewhere round about puffing up a nor-norwester that got progressively stronger as the morning progressed.  The front group had the best of it although the 18th was quite the challenge requiring a shot made right into the teeth of the gale so that the cross-wind component could bring the ball back to the vicinity of the green.  The pin position on the top tier made the task even more challenging but a couple of people did manage to be ‘just’ off the green and not eligible for the ProPin measurement.  And so, we have a Double Jackpot on the 18th next week.  Not only that, but nobody managed to get within distance on the 12th and so there is a jackpot there as well.  Lots of loot up for grabs next week, and a Monthly Medal as well.  There could very well be a good turn out as a result.  Today’s numbers were down a bit and whether people were put off by the forecasts or whether they were suffering from Stableford overload remains to be seen.

The man of the moment however was our venerable Club President, JohnQ, who planted his feet wide and used his stature to advantage in the blustery conditions to come in with 35 points of the best.  In the process, he managed to take three penalty strokes and scored a birdie on the 9th which is a fair achievement in itself.  Not only that, but it was the only birdie carded for the day.  That would have to be a record low for the time that we have been keeping tabs on the count at least.

Now Harry was probably a bit more susceptible to the effects of wind that el Pres, so the fact that he was able to come in with 34 points might be a bit surprising.  But he has been getting some coaching on his short game and the benefits were not particularly manifest today.  The scoring could have been a lot better if the chips to the green had been leaving him with something less than 6m putts.  The practice will pay off one of these days.

Just a point behind, we find the Beast and Jason with 33 points each.  Bill didn’t have much to say about his round but he and Noodles were having a bit of a driving contest.  On the 16th, with a howling tail wind, Noodles unleashed one of his quick-fire drives and the ball finished less than 30m from the green.  Bill, on the other hand must have gone astray somewhere and could only manage a no-score for the hole.  Jason was on the lower deck on the 18th green and suffered badly when his putt did not quite make it to the top of the rise and the ball rolled back down to where it started.  Blighty was in the group with Noodles and Noodles was complaining that Blighty seemed to have two strokes on every hole.  Well, he had more than he should have because he marked his card with his inside handicap rather than his Club handicap.  It wasn’t that he put the wrong card in, both cards were scored that way.

Ryan was also very quiet about his round and, when asked, he said it was pretty boring.  Boring enough to score 32 points and to catch him 4th place points on his own.  SOS was shaking the leg of his trousers on the 18th tee after a ball from the 17th missed everybody and everything but just grazed his arm.  Fortunately, it was late in the round and he had pretty much tallied up his 31 points by then.  MattN made a bit of a feature of being erratic particularly off the tee.  Late in the round he received a message about a horse that was running at Caulfield and he packed up his kit pretty smartly after the round and headed for the track to get his hard earned on the nose.  Will the news be good?

The wind was blamed for a multitude of things today.  Allan called it to task for a missed putt on the 18th but Harry holds the view that it was friction and gravity that was to blame given that the ball finished well short of the target.  The BallPin was situated on the 4th today and the first group was anxious to make sure that the marker went out on the appropriate hole.  There was no real need to worry after Targe put his drive onto the green and he made sure that the marker was not forgotten.  Targe was pretty chipper about his group being a hole and a half in front of the next considering that Noodles was in that group.  We won’t say who Noodles pointed the finger at!

Gordon threatened that his 5 wood would no longer have a place in his bag after a particularly poor shot on the second.  It seems to have redeemed itself later in the round and there will be a place for it next week.  Noodles was another who gave his clubs a good talking to and a couple of them even took flying lessons.  They almost needed a line search to find the one up the hill from the 15th tee (which was from the 14th fairway, by the way).  The Beast played a shot on the 8th that looked for all the world like being Yallah, bye, bye and down the river.  Not our Bill.  Somehow, the ball found its way back in bounds and finished about two and a half metres from the pin.

Dale cracked one a bit left off the 11th tee and it disappeared into the pine tree that usually means no good will come of it.  The ball eventually turned up well down the fairway and nearly to the green.  The jury is still out on how the ball got to where it did with reports of a person wandering erratically around the course.  No such luck for Matt who chunked it pretty severely on the 8th, the ball hit one of the buggies parked by the tee and finished back in the hazard, well, well short of the red markers.  Targe picked a nice soft clump of turf on the 15th tee and then proceeded to go completely underneath the ball, popped it up in the air and down the bank to finish just short of on the 14th green.  When Targe offered to pay for Allan’s drink, Allan politely refused on the grounds that he had put on such a display of crap golf that it should be he who was shouting.  ‘Nuff said.

The Annual Challenge at Shepparton is coming up in a few weeks and preparations are well under control in Gordon’s hands.  The Committee discussed the question of allocating Championship points and handicapping of those participating in the Annual Challenge.  It was decided that the decision to do so would stand but that there would also be a Club competition for those playing at Ivanhoe, provided that the requirement of a minimum of six players was met.  This will mean that there is potential for two lots of Championship points to be allocated if more than six members play at Ivanhoe.

Results for Saturday, 29 July 2017
1st John Quinlan(35) 2nd Harry Boughen(34) 3rd Bill Eastoe(33) 3rd Jason Hopkins(33) 4th Ryan Porker(32) 5th Matt Nicholls(31) 5th Stephen O’Sullivan(31)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (34) 2nd Bill Eastoe (33) 3rd Gordon Hill (29)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 4th Targe Mifsud