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At Ivanhoe Public Golf Course 22 May 2021. Last registration time is 16:00 on Thursday 13 May 2021 First tee time on 15 May is 06:56 (or first light – whichever is the later).

Club Event – GrandPar Competition – Matchplay Semi-finals continue

If you have not registered on the website or with the tee marshals(s), there will not be a spot.

If you have symptoms of any sort, please do not attend but notify if you have registered to play.

Please observe all protocols put out by your club and the Course Management.

How good is a party?

Please note registration time – be there early or be square or the tree marshals will get angry as they need to do the draw for groups.

In the menus at the top of the page there is one labelled Registration.  This is to indicate your intentions about playing next Saturday – just enter your name and click on Yes or No.  The form will be available until Thursday.  Could everybody please indicate your intentions even if your name went on the sheet on Saturday and even if you are not planning to play.

Don’t forget that if you don’t play the inside comp and you want your scores to count for your Australian Handicap, you have to fill in a card with your GolfLink number and Australian Handicap to the handicapper.  In the case of non-Home members, the card will have to be handed to the handicapper at your Home Club.  Also, in stroke rounds, please calculate your stableford points and record them to facilitate data entry.

 This weeks Tree Marshall is Chris Priems/(or a volunteer). 

Link to Latest Handicap Sheet

David Ford Autumn Cup – Saturday May 15th 2021 – Par Competition

A wild and wintery Autumn day saw 16 of the clubs toughest and most dedicated (or stupid) souls venture to Royal Ivanhoe for the final round of the David Ford Autumn Cup. The weather forecast was grim and some pre round thunderstorms and rain put a damper on things early with a full pull outs to reduce the groups from 7 to 5. The first two groups tee’d off early and prior to the 3rd group hitting the tees there was a hail downpour for 5 or so minutes which added a wintery tinge to the course and added to the puddles on the greens.

This did not deter Mark who was hot on the heels of Chrispy all day, on the scorecard at least that is, as they were separated by the field on the course. Mark added to his tally of pluses from last week which resulted in a score of +4 for the day and a very impressive score of +6 overall. This was more than enough to take out the win and his first Major trophy for the club and a solid handicap reduction to boot.

Only two back on the leaderboard was Chrispy with a square card and +4 overall. He was foxing towards the later stages of the round saying he was going alright but a late falter put the win out of reach.  Damien, much to the dismay of a couple of stragglers that were clinging onto the final placings after the round, scrambled with a -3 card which was good enough for 3rd place.

Noods and Belev were also not too far off the mark at the end and with scores of -1 and square, and good enough to round out the final two placings with square and -1 overall. Stefan also played out a 3rd round matchplay game with Adam. After being 3 down early, Stef fought back to hold a marginal lead on the back nine and finished the match 2 and 1. This leaves only two matches left in the 3rd round and a couple of weeks to finalise things.

Seniors results went to Chrispy, Old reliable and then Bob in 3rd place.

The nearest the pins were closely contested, Damo won a ball on the 4th hole with his tee shot finishing fairly close to the flagstick. The 12th hole was not on the list much to the dismay of Whitey, who was impressed with his group who all hit their shots within 3 or 4 metres of the pin. The pro pin ended up finding a home on the 15th and it wasn’t until the last group for a marker to be laid and no other than Mark with a distance of around 1m was enough for the cash.

The final ball hole was on the 18th and Ryan thought he had hit it very close, but after walking up to the green his pitch mark was a couple of inches from the hole but the ball had spun back down the slope. Targe’s mark was within 2m and was enough for the win. He sank the birdie putt which was one of only 6 carded for the day (half of them to porks).

Some were struggling with the greens and were well short on a lot of putts, while others seemed to prosper in the conditions. Stef and SOS both sank long range putts on the first when the weather was the worst, SOS seemed to use the puddles to the best advantage with multiple chips skipping through the water and stopping next to the hole. SOS also managed to find a magic mushroom which was also loving the wet conditions.

Under cover at the end of the round, Gordon, Rob and Zimma helped put on a good feed for all. Zimma was trying to add some additional flame grilling to the hamburgers and dropped a few into the depths of the BBQ never to be seen again.

Results for Saturday, 15 May 2021
1st Mark Minney(+2, +4, +6) 2nd Chris Priems(+4, □, +4) 3rd Damien Lee(+4, -3, +1) 4th Stephen Butterfield(+1, -1, □) 5th Stefan Belevski(-1, □, -1)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (+4, □, +4) 2nd Craig Cameron (+1, -3, -2) 3rd Bob McDonald (-4, -1, -5)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Mark Minney BallPin No 1 – 4th Damien Lee BallPin No 2 – 18th Targe Misfud

Some demons were sorted on 08 May 2021

The trophy hunter.
I think I am good for one more trophy!

There is nothing like the smell of double points to bring out the denizens from the deep. It was a lovely day, again, and there was little to complain about except, maybe, the standard of the golf played in some cases. There were one or two comments about the quality of the sand on the greens, but, from a field of 26 players, that would have to be fairly small change. The temperature was remarkably mild due to the partial cloud cover over-night and it did thicken up enough to have at least one group wondering whether there could be a shower of rain in the offing when the light got rather dim at about the fourth hole. The BOM was as good as its word, and there was no rain by the middle of the afternoon, so the fears were well and truly unfounded. The fears that last week’s high scoring effort would be repeated was also largely unfounded although there are probably one or two members who would disagree.

Damien was kicking himself for having given a hint to CJ about how to straighten up his ball flight on about the second hole. CJ was complaining about the fact that he had been playing with Damo for 25 years and this was the first time that he had ever received any such advice. Whatever the advice was, it certainly seemed to have been effective because, at one stage CJ was a heady six points in the black. Whether he went back to his old ways, or the golf gods had decided enough was enough, CJ finished on +4 to grab a share of the lead with his new-found mentor, Damien. It seems that this new-found straightness is not enough to persuade CJ to change his plans for next week, and, so, Damo will have the Club-house lead all to himself when the final round of the David Ford tees off next Saturday.

The Priems family will not be entirely out of the running for the trophy though, because Brent was able to secure second spot on the Leader-board with his score of +3. This patch of form stood him in good stead in his match with Ryan today. He rushed out to a good lead on the front nine and at one stage he was 4 up before Ryan found his straps and had dragged the match back to square on the 15th. A sudden fade by Ryan on the next two holes handed the match to Brent, 2 and 1. MattH is another member who is having to forgo his chance at glory by opting out of the event next week due to his work commitments. Skip, on the other hand is planning to get his shift changed so that he can have a crack from their third place score of +2. Mark also benefitted from some good form in his match against Whitey today. The front nine see-sawed a bit, but mostly in Mark’s favour. A couple of wins early on the back set the match up, and, despite another bout on the see-saw, the match went dormie 4 on the 14th with a win on the 15th sealing the deal 5 and 3 for Mark.

Zimmer, Noodles and Old Reliable managed their fair share of squared holes while the majority of plus scores were cancelled out by the nastiness of the minus mark. As a result, they all came in with +1 for fourth place on the Leader-board, and they are by no means out of the race for the top spot next week. Adam would not own up to any particularly brilliant or lucky shots today which could help to explain his being able to come in with a square card. Targe, on the other hand was not backward in coming forward with his claim that he had out-driven the Beast on at least two occasions to produce the same score-line as Adam.

The first BallPin today was on the 15th and the winning shot came whistling in, landed with a resounding ‘thunk’ and rolled up to about half a metre from the hole. There was speculation in the group in front as to who the perpetrator was. It was Damo who needed to aim just a fraction to the left to have pulled off the ‘big one’. His ‘easy-as’ birdie contributed just a little to the daily tally of 14. The 18th had the pin on the top deck, and that is perceived to be the harder target even though the green is the same size no matter where the pin is placed. The ball almost went begging until Skip came along in the second last group and, at least, got it on the green to collect a ball. The ProPin was a Jackpot on the 12th, and it looked, for a long time that Stan would be the man to beat. But, beaten he was, by none other than the newly ‘straightened’ Chrispy who got his to 1.2m. Kind-hearted Chris was seen doling out largesse after the game as the group had gone quarters. He also helped the birdie total along a little with this one.

SOS got a bit excited on the 8th when Ken drove his tee-shot into the ground and it struggled to get past the red markers. If it was the AFL, the ball would have been subbed-out with a very bad case of kencussion. On the same hole, SOS played his second shot, and it curved ominously towards the billabong. It hit a tree branch that looked to ensure that the ball got wet feet until it hit another branch that delicately deposited the ball back into play. Harry has a theory that the gravitational field around the hole is lower due to the missing mass from the hole. His putt on the 8th suggests that there is actually anti-gravity in play after the ball virtually disappeared into the hole before catching the edge and just lipping out. Or was the plastic insert to blame?

Ken likes playing downhill lies so much that he took four shots to get from the 10th tee onto the level ground of the fairway (and the 13th at that). Beast was so sure that Bob’s second shot from the 15th hadn’t made it past the red markers that he spent quite an amount of time searching for it just to prove the point. Rob also produced a draughtie in his round today. Brent searched unsuccessfully for his ball on the 17th only to find it, ultimately, underneath his parked buggy. A search for Harry’s errant shot on the same hole was eventually deemed to have been in the penalty area, and, so, a penalty was taken. From the 18th green, Ken wondered whether a ball in plain view might be the one. And it was, and Harry was able to claim, truthfully, that he had played the round without losing a ball (or, at least, still in possession of the one he started with).

Final round of the David Ford next week. Groups will be leader-board based and any who didn’t play today who register will be early marks. Special requests for early starts to Chrispy as well as any Matchplay. There will be the usual high quality snags etc for the barbeque afterwards which is a good chance to get some of your subs and comp fees back as well as to socialise and to spin some yarns.

Results for Saturday, 08 May 2021
Leaderboard Round 1: 1st Damien Lee (+4) 1st Chris Priems (+4) 2nd Brent Rowley (+3) 3rd Matt Hunt (+2) 3rd Mark Minney (+2) 4th Kazim Akdag (+1) 4th Stephen Butterfield (+1) 4th Craig Cameron (+1) 5th Adam King (□) 5th Targe Mifsud (□)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Chris Priems (+4) 2nd Craig Cameron (+1) 3rd Targe Mifsud (□)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Chris Priems BallPin No 1 – 15th Damien Lee BallPin No 2 – 18th Mark Minney

Gold! Gold! Gold! on 01 May 2021

Medals to the fore!
That ain’t a medal – this is a medal!

Who would have thought that, after the prolific scoring in recent times, the Monthly Medal could be won by not breaking your handicap. It wasn’t that the field was small. We had a field of twenty-two and that did not include the Priems boys as they were otherwise occupied tending to their sick mother. The members send their best wishes to the family for a speedy recovery, by the way. It wasn’t that the weather was unfavourable as the early morning coolness soon gave way to an almost balmy warmth. It wasn’t that the course was in poor condition. The fairways were mowed, the rough was short, and the greens – well, the greens were still a bit sandy and some of them would have given the moon a run for money as far as craters were concerned. But we can only blame the inconsiderate types who don’t repair pitch marks for the latter problem. So, was the plethora of three putt greens, that seemed to be a feature of just about everybody’s game, just a coincidence, or was there some other evil force at work Maybe the ‘evil one’ has switched his attention from the internet to the golf course. Maybe we need ScoMo to lay on some hands – or not!

Harry started off with a par on the first, which can sometimes augur ill for the rest of the round. A triple on the second seemed to lend some weight to that thought. The feeling was not greatly improved by the turn with some potential par scores just slipping by the hole. The back nine saw a bit of a turn around and the sun seemed to be shining just a little more brightly. When the 400mm putt on the 16th missed the hole completely, Trev was moved to comment ‘That putt probably cost you the Medal’. H joined the litany of players who three-putted the 18th and was thus entirely convinced that a snowball in hell had more chance. Imagine the surprise when the 69 net resulted in the card going to the top of the pile in Keith’s capable hands.

Stef could easily have been distracted by his tussle with Pepsi in their matchplay. Pepsi had the better of it in the first third of the round to be 2 up, but, by the time they got to the 8th, where Pepsi had to give a stroke, the match was square. Then, either Pepsi lost concentration, or Stef put his head down, and by the two-thirds mark it was three up to Stef. There followed a bit of a tussle, but, at the 16th a clear win to Stef gave him the match 3 and 2. The relief was obviously palpable and double bogies on the last two holes could easily have cost the young fellah the top spot with his net score coming in at 72. Michael and Adam did not have the distraction of matching their wits against another, and there was no last minute ‘fade’, just a consistent case of the pars not quite coming. Still, a share of second place is not to be sneezed at with a 72 score-line.

Porks is probably also ruing his three-putt on the 18th, but it seems that the result that really takes the cake for him happened on the 17th, where he took three chips to get his par. And, there is some doubt that the last shot even warranted that high-sounding appellation. Still, 73 and third place is reward enough. Whitey appeared to be none too happy with his putting at one stage, and it is unclear which came off the better, his putter or the flag-stick. Regardless, at the end of the day his 74 was good enough to hold onto fourth place. Old Reliable was not quite so ‘reliable’ today having struck some trouble with trees early on from the first tee. Chris was a bit generous with his shot into the green on the 5th and put the frights into the group on the 3rd tee. There was a bit of a good patch in the middle of the round, and he was able to rescue a 75 to join up with Craig on the bottom step.

The ProPin today was set for the 12th and there is a bit of doubt as to how many people had a chance to have a shot at it. Regardless of the true story, there were no names on the chit and so there will be a Jackpot on the 12th next week. The BallPin on the 15th was something of a no-contest after Michael put it close enough to exclude all others after the first group. The 18th BallPin went to Brendon (again), but another of the dreaded three-putts on the 18th meant that, on this hole, he did not contribute to the fairly measly eight that we managed as a group for the day.

Ken up a tree
A one iron would be handy from here!

Ken is going to change his name from Mandarin Man to Melaleuca Man after today’s effort with his ball held up the tree by the thinnest wafer of paper-bark. Unfortunately this wasn’t the only tree that interfered with Ken’s game today. Keith put his tee shot onto the 14th green today. The only problem was, it was his second shot from the 15th after the first went OOB. Others who didn’t make it past the red markers included Trev, Targe and SOS. The 9th tee has claimed a few victims of late. SOS managed to slice his ball so badly that it finished on top of the protective covering over the walking trail. The very same fate befell Ken last week.

The Beast reckoned his only claim to fame today would be for the messiest card. The Handicapper reckons he has seen worse! Gordon was claiming that he should get the kudos for Stef’s win in the Matchplay because he had supplied him with his ‘drug’ of choice, raspberry licorice, and a double dose at that. Unfortunately, raspberry licorice does not make it to the list of banned substances, so no grounds for appeal by Pepsi. Speaking of Pepsi, he was overheard saying he had just got hold of an eighteen-year-old. Bottle of Scotch, that is, whew! Jim started out full of confidence today and suggested that his name should be engraved on the Medal forthwith. Sledge-like comments about the engraver being on the job as he negotiated the 7th from the 8th fairway seemed to fall on deaf ears. The ultimate sledge came when Jim offered that his card should go on the bottom, Keith glanced at it and said ‘That’s right!’

Results for Saturday, 01 May 2021
1st Harry Boughen(69) 2nd Stefan Belevski(72) 2nd Michael Gourlay(72) 2nd Adam King(72) 3rd Ryan Porker(73) 4th Rodney White(74) 5th Craig Cameron(75) 5th Chris James(75)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (69) 2nd Michael Gourlay (72) 3rd Rodney White (74)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 15th Michael Gourlay BallPin No 2 – 18th Brendon Mitchell

Hey Mr Mandarin Man on 24th April 2021.

The Turk wins again!
We always win on Anzac Day (weekend)!

What a weekend. NASA and SpaceX rolled out their second-hand gear and got Crew-2 up there. Now, all they have to do is get them back again in due course. The footy is going to be big with 85 000 packing into the ‘G, but only 5 000 will be allowed to march for the Anzacs tomorrow. I suppose somebody makes more money from the footy.

Enough of the pontificating. The cloud cover prevented the temperature dropping too low overnight, and it probably put a dampener on it rising too much during the morning. The possibility of showers remained just that, a possibility, and we remained dry even if not all jumpers were removed during the round. We ended up with twenty players on the ground with a couple of late withdrawals, not all of which were down to sleeping through the alarm. The greens had been sanded through the week, but, according to reports, that did not stop certain people being able to chip them close and putt them in with relative ease. The rain earlier in the week has not done much to soften the course, so conditions should have been pretty well right for some good scoring.

Mehmet has apparently seen the light after a heavy night at the casino a while back and has sworn off alcoholic beverages entirely. This probably explains why he was heard ordering a double-shot latte with two sugars as payment from a draughtie by SOS on the 15th. It might also go some way to explaining his return to form with a winning score of 38 points. There were no misses, but the six one pointers were partly offset by the four point birdie on the 6th. SOS, on the other hand, had two misses on his card, one of which was caused by the aforementioned draughtie on the 15th and twice as many shots as Mehm on the 6th for the other. Not to be out-done SOS also scored a four pointer on the 16th to come in with 36 points and the points for second place.

Harry was in charge of putting out the NTP markers today, and he wondered momentarily about ‘forgetting’ to put the ProPin kit out on the 4th where it belonged after a clean miss by the whole group. This thought bubbled to the surface again on the next eligible hole (12th) when his drive looked to be perilously close to the pin, but looks from the tee can be deceiving. A couple of tree ‘problems’ might have helped to limit the final total to 35 and third place. Brendon helped to keep up the four point scoring average with his birdie on the 2nd, and he turned with 22 points under his belt. Oil began to leak on the 13th and, by the 17th and 18th, there was a very distinct ‘big-end knock’ – or was he just protecting his handicap? Regardless, he got to share the third step with Harry.

Damo would have been sort of happy with his front nine although he had used up a fair proportion of his handicap by that stage. He certainly gave the impression of being less than impressed with his second shot on the 14th, and who knows what the thoughts might have been after no points on the 15th. The final three holes probably improved his mood more than somewhat, and he finished with 33points for fourth place. A couple of points further back were a group of four musketeers with 31 points apiece in the persons of Jim, Beast, Gordo and MattH.

Despite his wishful thinking, Harry did not feature in today’s Nearest the Pin competition. The ProPin on the 4th went to Old Reliable with a shot that just made it inside the circle at 4.77m. Actually, Old Reliable was not quite as reliable as usual today, but we won’t go there. The first BallPin was on the 15th and MattH was half reluctant to put his name on it because it was ‘sure to be knocked off’. But it wasn’t. The BallPin on the 18th was taken out by Damo after Targe had staked out a claim early in the piece.

Perhaps this was a bit of a consolation for Damo as he also played out his second round match against Mehmet. It seems that Mehm had made some dire predictions to the WhatsApp group and Damien was determined that they weren’t going to come true. However, every time Damo thought himself sitting pretty with his ball on the green and an easy putt, Mehmet would chip it in or put it so close that it didn’t matter. The score line did run close from time to time, but before the match could be squared Mehm would put on a bit of a burst, and at the 16th, the match went dormie 2 and Mehm sealed the deal by winning the 17th and taking the match 3 and 1.

Separated at birth
Which twin has the Toni?

Bob didn’t have much of a day today and managed to add two draughties to the tally for the day. JQ was rather pleased that he had no sharp implements to hand when he had managed only three points in five holes. He did manage to regain some self-respect by scoring 27 points in the remaining thirteen holes. Noodles was showing his unbridled optimism when he was spotted wading through knee-high kikuyu on the embankment below the 14th tee, though it is not clear whether he was searching for his ball or his club. Jim still reckons the handicapper has ‘dudded’ him, but, if a guy can birdie the 12th and contribute to our tally of twelve, and follow up with a par on the 13th, then he doesn’t have too many legs to stand on. SOS seemed to be showing a propensity for something with some tongue gymnastics as he delicately rimmed the lip of his coffee cup and managed to lick the tip of his nose. Gordon was relieved to be in the points today, albeit at the lower end of the scale. His game was, he opined, ‘up and down like a fiddlers elbow’. At least it was ‘like a bride’s nightie’. The Birthday Birdie will be flapping off to visit Porks and Whitey later in the week. And a big shout out to Ken, who has graduated from mango Man to Mandarin (and Lemon) Man. Isn’t there a nursery rhyme that goes ‘Mandarins and lemons, Say the bells of St Kenneth’.

Results for Saturday, 24 April 2021
1st Mehmet Akdag(38) 2nd Stephen O’Sullivan(36) 3rd Harry Boughen(35) 3rd Brendon Mitchell(35) 4th Damien Lee(33) 5th Jim Belevski(31) 5th Bill Eastoe(31) 5th Gordon Hill(31) 5th Matt Hunt(31)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (35) 2nd Bill Eastoe (31) 2nd Gordon Hill (31) 2nd Jim Belevski (31) 3rd Targe Mifsud (30)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Craig Cameron BallPin No 1 – 15th Matt Hunt BallPin No 2 – 18th Damien Lee