Next Week’s Details

Friday the thirteenth fell on a Saturday this month! There was a lot of discussion through the week whether we would need galoshes or something more substantial to weather the forecast downpour. AndrewV calmed the waters with his forecast probability chart, and we ended up with thirteen members taking their chances with the vagaries of weather forecasting. It should have been fourteen, but Porks was kept away with ‘spams’ in his back, which did not seem to elicit much sympathy when the predicament was advised. Some did question early on whether preferred lies were warranted, but Harry was in danger of running out of spit before too many holes had been negotiated.

JQ was a little gob-smacked this morning as he riffled through his handful of coupons and showed off his shiny new ProShop Medal. Plus the fact that his GA Daily was into single figures and his Club was knocking on the door thereof. Well, he needn’t wait any longer, because his Club handicap is now also in single figures thanks to his win today with thirty-seven points. With his recent run of form, he now sits comfortably at the top of the Order of Merit. He did express the view that he could have missed the putt on the last, saved a bit of handicap, and still been in first place. However, he would have rued that circumstance had it happened. Our venerable Club Captain, and his marker, both missed the fact that he received a stroke on the 9th hole, and misrepresented his points score thereupon. So, instead of scoring a paltry fourteen points on the front, he actually turned with fifteen. Then he proceeded to shoot the flamin’ lights out. With one birdie on the front, he could easily have added another five or so on the back were it not for putts missing by millimetres. As it was, he finished with a total of four, which was a fair chunk of the six that the whole field could muster. The total strokes for the nine ended up one under the card for twenty-two points, and a share of first place. He might have to negotiate with JQ about the spoils.

Bob must have given himself a good talking to during the week, as, today, he barely strayed from the straight and narrow once. Despite some early confusion about what his handicap is or was before the game, what he had was almost sufficient. In the wash-up, his thirty-three points was good enough for second place, and good enough for top place in the Seniors, as well. SOS was feeling pretty pleased with one of his chips, and was taking a bow and accepting bouquets from the gallery, when a ball zipped by pretty close. It wasn’t a stray from two fairways away, it was from SteveG, who was in the same group. The incident does not seem to have affected either adversely, as they both managed thirty-two points to get onto the third place podium. They weren’t alone, because, with surgical precision, Dan was able to squeeze in between them to fit onto the dais as well.

Peg-leg Pete the Pirate (aka Gordo) limped his way around today, and managed to keep himself sufficiently upright to rack up thirty-one points to fill the fourth place. Gordon will be taking a bit of a sabbatical, to get himself fitted out with a new hip. And, after that, he is planning to chill out in Chile for a while. Watch out when he makes his come-back! In the meantime, all the best with the op, and safe travels, from all of us. While we are on the recuperation front, Stan reports that he has just discovered a freshly cracked rib, and it might be a little longer before he can get back to showing us how to play the game. Maybe it was that bucket of balls on the practice fairway! Marc rounded out the points for the day, after making good use of the trees around the course, particularly on the 15th where his tee-shot was gone for all money, but found a tree and came back into play.

This was much to the chagrin of Pepsi, who was deeply involved with Marc in their Matchplay match. Marc wouldn’t let rest the fact that the margin should have been more than the twenty-two strokes that he had, if he hadn’t played so well last week. Pepsi started off well enough, and early in the piece had a handy advantage, and a couple of holes to the good. However, eventually, Marc’s rapport with the surrounding greenery began to pay dividends, and the match became nip-and-tuck as they negotiated the back nine. Some unlucky misses on the putting green ended up being the difference, and Marc ran out the winner, taking the match 2 and 1. Craig and Harry were also battling it out in their match, to get it out of the way before H heads off to foreign climes. Probably the best that can be said, is that they traded losses, rather than anybody winning. As a result, by the half-way mark, Craig had his nose in front by one hole. The same pattern of play persisted for much of the back nine, but, by dint of some received strokes, and a rare par, Harry had edged ahead to be two up after sixteen, making the match dormie 2. Could Craig win the next two and force a chip-off? Unfortunately, Craig’s drive found the rough stuff on the course boundary, and, despite valiant searches, the ball could not be found, making it easy for H to win the hole and finish the match 3 and 1.

The Nearest the Pin competition today almost was a bridge too far! The Jackpot ProPin on the 12th advanced to a Double Jackpot pool for next week, despite Raj being sure that Harry’s shot to 6m was inside the circle (from the viewpoint of the tee!). The pin on the 18th was on the top deck, but the tee was well forward. However, nobody was able to add their name to the card, so there is a Jackpot to be had there next week as well. The 4th has proved difficult to get onto the green from time to time, but, today, it was no problem for Dan, who gladly accepted the ball that was on offer.

Results for Saturday, 13 Jun 2026
1st Brendon Mitchell (37) 1st John Quinlan (37) 2nd Bob McDonald (33) 3rd Steven Gervasoni (32) 3rd Dan Marie (32) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (32) 4th Gordon Hill (31) 5th Marc Phillips (30)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (33) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (32) 3rd Gordon Hill (31)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 4th Dan Marie BallPin No 2 – 18th Jackpot

What a difference some rain makes! There was quite a downpour during the week (a good thirty millimetres, or more, according to the BOM), and the course has reverted to something more like the course that we expect during the winter. Despite this we almost had fifteen starters today, but one absence necessitated some last minute regrouping to accommodate the final field of fourteen. The big question was, would the scores be better or worse due to the changed condition of the course. Only time would tell.

Marc has been lurking about the place for a while now. He had a bit of a break recently, telling a story about a big plant shut-down that required 24/7 attention, but his big aim has been to protect his handicap for an upcoming match with Pepsi and the 23 or so strokes that Pepsi has to concede. Was he working, or was he practicing in the hope of springing a fast one on Peps. Whatever the mod-op, he was fairly smashing it today, out-driving all and sundry in his group, and piling on the ‘points’, figuratively speaking. On the 17th, he smacked one off the tee so hard, that it finished in Birrarung, with the greatest of ease, and there was a little suspicion that he was, perhaps, ‘easing off’. A finishing net score of 67 that resulted, was enough to take the day and the Medal, without doing too much damage to his ‘precious’ handicap.

JQ came in today all a-titter. He has been having a pretty steady run of late, and has been quietly edging his way up the Order of Merit. His net score of 69 (titter, titter) was enough to score him yet another second place, and did no harm to his handicap for his, soon to be contested, match with Matt. Matt, on the other hand, was very pleased that they did not have to play today, as the result would have been something of a white-wash (just sayin’). There was a certain amount of discussion as to why Ryan is rarely seen without his trusty cap firmly in place. In a show of honesty and to quell certain rumours, he demonstrated that he does not have a distinct bare patch that he is trying to hide. As it turned out, the scandal-monger involved also managed to come into third place with their net seventy-three. It must be said that SOS was actually a bit of a good Samaritan today. One of the lady golfers was rather distressed that she had lost her phone, so much so that SOS was concerned that she would put JQ off his game. While somebody rang the phone, SOS back-tracked, and rescued the damsel-in-distress’s phone.

Pepsi and Harry managed to turn in a net seventy-four for their shared fourth place in the field. Pepsi managed to score three of our seven birdies for the day, including consecutive featheries on the 16th and 17th. He had obviously settled down after his power shank on the 7th that ricocheted off a tree, and carried so far that it almost finished on the 2nd fairway. In typical Kiwi fashion, Brendon chose to announce the placings in reverse order today. The main reason for this was so that he could call his score first, at net 76. He also took great delight in announcing that Matt had been knocked off for the BallPin on the 15th, by himself. He took almost as much delight in announcing that Matt had been knocked off for the BallPin on the 18th by JQ, who smashed a seven iron to 1.44m (which should win him the ProShop voucher as well). The ProPin on the 12th went begging, though Matt did claim to have just missed out on that one as well.

Quite a few ‘plugged’ balls today. JQ managed a few on the fairways, and the greens were prominent in catching a few as well.

Ken elicited some comments today about the sharp looking strides that he was fitted out in. He reckons that all he has to do now is to learn how to play golf. He is contemplating retiring, and, working on his game was suggested as a way to fill in his days. First off, he has to learn how to avoid airies and draughties, of which he racked up a few today. Bob also didn’t have a great day, and he was heard offering to sell his clubs as he left the third tee. Steve started off with a stated aim of staying down the middle. However, he didn’t specify which fairway he was going to stay down the middle of. In the end, he blamed jet-lag after his return from daughter’s graduation in South Africa. Matt blames a one-legged duck for his decline in fortune on the back nine, after a reasonable front half. It didn’t actually have only one leg, just standing on one. Matt chipped on, the duck took fright, and moved into the path of the ball, causing it to stop well short of the hole, needing a couple of putts to finish off. Gordo also has a ‘one-legged’ being to blame for his performance, namely, himself, as his hip was giving him curry, and severely affecting his swing.

Results for Saturday, 06 Jun 2026
1st Marc Phillips (67) 2nd John Quinlan (69) 3rd Ryan Porker (73) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (73) 4th Harry Boughen (74) 4th Andrew Petricola (74) 5th Brendon Mitchell (76)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (74) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (77) 2nd Andrew Vogan (77) 3rd Matt Hunt (78)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 15th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 2 – 18th John Quinlan

Wazza record set today? It certainly wasn’t a record field, as we could only manage ten starters, on what turned out to be a remarkably benign sort of day. It didn’t start out particularly cold, and the mercury climbed to a pretty respectable level before the round was finished. The course has softened a bit, and there are a couple of no-go areas for carts. The softer ground and greens mean that divots and pitch marks are easier to make, but that doesn’t excuse the inconsiderate types who don’t take the trouble to repair them. Once again we made first tracks, but the dew was not quite as noticeable, and the tracks were of less use. The good conditions made for some fierce scoring, and we were able to tally a total of nine birdies and an eagle for the day. This included three members of the one group (Nalin, JQ and Matt) all scoring birdies on the 12th. Records don’t allow us to tell whether this is some sort of record for the Club, but it would have to be pretty rare! It also included Wazza making his first Hole in One, also on the 12th, to collect the Eagle’s nest of four balls, and the first BallPin, which happened to be on the 12th as well.

His shot there would have to qualify for the ‘shot of the day’. Something like a gap wedge bisected the flag the whole way, but, from the tee, it was judged to be a ‘bit long’. Wazza walked to the back of the green, expecting to need a dicky chip to get back in play. Strong urging to ‘look in the hole’ was required to convince him to do so. The pitch mark was located about 3m past, so a fair amount of back-spin was in play to achieve the result. This scored him five points on the Stableford scale, which helped him to a total of forty for the round. On any other day, that would have been enough to win the competition, but not today, and he had to settle for second. But this was not all of his exploits for the day. There was a Jackpot ProPin on the 4th, and, wouldn’t you know it, he managed to put a shot to 4m there to collect the twenty-one large on offer for the jackpot pool. Apparently, Wazza had a few ‘refreshments’ in his bag, and he had even taken a heart starter before tee time, but it is not clear that this influenced the result in any way. With the HIO round after the round, an Uber home might have been in order! Quite the way to finish on his last round with the Club before he heads off to his new digs in Golden Grove. He’s promised to come back for the break-up to collect his HIO trophy.

Nalin rattled in his putt on the first for a birdie, and JQ shook his head and said ‘You shouldn’t do that, mate!’. Was he placing a hex? Maybe, as a triple was the next score on the card. Completely unfazed, Nalin chipped in on the 3rd for yet another birdie, causing JQ to shake his head again. And, from there, he barely looked back, completing the front just five over the card. The back nine was just a little shaky, but he still managed a 40 off the stick, making 80 for the round and forty-one points to take the top marks for the day. The win earned him a ‘rocket’ up the Order of Merit, as did Wazza with his second. On any other day, Matt and JQ would have been thinking top dog thoughts with their scores of 37 points apiece. Except that they already knew that they had been topped by Nalin.

CJ was not too happy with his -8 at the Frog yesterday, but he did feel a little better when he realised that it was equivalent to 28 points on the Stableford scale. Perhaps this inspired him to keep his head down today, and he put together a pair of eighteens, to keep his handicap intact, and to keep in close contact with the lead in the Seniors Championship. In a similar vein to Nalin, Harry made par on the first, and copped a ‘hex’ from Gordo. Sure enough, he scored two pars on the second. However, he stuck to his score making strategy, and finished the round with thirty-five points despite another gash on the 9th.

The final BallPin was on the 18th, and, to round out the Nalin-Wazza show for the day, Nalin managed to take out the ball offered up there. He did forget to put his metres on the inside card, and might have dudded himself for the prize after he put the Club marker further out than the actual spot because he didn’t mark it! We’ll just have to wait and see when the ProShop results come out. Matt and JQ have a match to play sometime, but they decided against today, for various reasons. With their tied up scoring, the match would have been a corker, going right down to the wire with JQ winning on the last after Matt (maybe) decided to protect his handicap over the last few holes, against a future encounter, by scoring mere singletons.

AndrewV took a little while to warm up and get his driver working at full tilt, and his short game proved a little erratic at times. However, he was pretty happy with his putting when he did get on the green. Brendon turned up today, decked out in the ‘old dark navy blue’, for some reason. Whether he celebrated late into the night did not become clear, but the score-line did suggest that something was afoot. SOS turned up to deal with the Treasury, and to manage the ’till’ for the HIO refreshments. He was overheard talking about losing something in the back seat of a car, leading to all sorts of speculation. Turns out it was his ‘Freddie’, and not something else.

No work for the Birthday Birdie this week. Blighty has advised that he has a bad case of ‘gone in a knee’, and will probably be out of commission for some little time as a result. All the best from everybody for whatever is in store, Andrew. Recuperate thoroughly and well, and we look forward to your return better than ever. Maybe they can fix your swing while they are at it /;-{)}

Results for Saturday, 30 May 2026
1st Nalin Samaranayake (41) 2nd Warren Capes (40) 3rd Matt Hunt (37) 3rd John Quinlan (37) 4th Chris Priems (36) 5th Harry Boughen (35)

Seniors Results: 1st Matt Hunt (37) 2nd Chris Priems (36) 3rd Harry Boughen (35)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Warren Capes BallPin No 1 – 12th Warren Capes BallPin No 2 – 18th Nalin Samaranayake

Hole in One Results: Hole in One – 12th *** Warren Capes ***

It can’t have been the Pendlebury match. There were one-eyed Magpies lining up to play. There must have been other reasons for numbers being down to a mere eleven, on what turned out to be a pretty pleasant day for golf. The management saw fit to declare preferred lies, but, by and large, the relief wasn’t needed. Unless, of course, you were hard up against a tree or something. The first group got away on time, and the third was probably gone before the ladies started assembling, which caused one of them to ask, where was everybody? The pace of play was pretty good with just a tad over four hours (plus a smidge more for the last group). The front group made first tracks (to borrow a skiing term), and worried that they might be giving away too much about putting lines for the groups behind, as the green had not been tended and brushed off. It might pay to brush up on your bunker play, as the bunkers appear to have been freshened up with some nice new, deeper, white sand. Fortunately, nobody got to try them out, and some didn’t even notice the change.

Raj set off like the morning after a Madras curry, and by the turn he had amassed a pretty impressive twenty-two points, just four over off the stick. The Handicapper was sharpening his little axe! JQ, on the other hand, started off slowly and took a couple of holes to warm up. Once he warmed up, there was no cooling down. At the turn, the handicap was nicely matched, and, from there he never once looked over his shoulder. Just three over off the stick for the back nine netted him another nineteen points, and a fairly easy win for the day. Raj, on the other hand, fell into a bit of a hole from the 11th to the 13th, and never really reached the heights of form shown on the front nine, and an extra thirteen points was all he could muster. Harry was trying out a new ‘scoring strategy’ today, which he thinks helped him to his eighteen points on the front. He only managed another seventeen on the back, thanks in part to hitting the same tree twice on consecutive shots on the 11th.

CJ also took a couple of holes to warm up, but then he scored pretty solidly through the front nine, to finish with a pretty respectable nineteen points. He leaked a bit of oil on the 10th and 11th, but recovered and ‘two-ed’ the rest of the course. He was pretty happy to snag 3rd place with his total of thirty-three points. Craig seems to have been a little jinxed by the first three holes on both nines where he could only manage singletons. This made it a bit difficult for him to score much more than the thirty-one that hooked him a share of 4th place. He was joined on the podium by Rob, who had faltered a bit on the front, but pulled his socks up on the back to reach his final score. Nalin can hit the ball a country mile from one of the shortest back-swings in the Club. The g’s that the club-head is subject to must be phenomenal. Today, however, he had to rely on the surrounding trees to keep his ball in play, so, perhaps, he has been taking lessons from the Priems clan. This was particularly the case on the 9th, where Birrarung beckoned, until the ball was cast back into play, albeit not all that far in front of the red markers.

The ProPin today was on the 4th, and few got onto the green, let alone close enough to put their name on the card. Smallish pool to start the Jackpot next week. The first BallPin was on the 7th, and, fortunately, the tee was set pretty well forward, so the short hitters had a chance. As it happened, Raj and SOS vied for the honour, and SOS was victorious through getting closer than Raj, who was a fair way off. On the 18th, the pin was on the top deck, and Matt was the only one to get his name on the card.

A couple of matches were fought out today. Gordo and Craig locked horns, with Craig giving four strokes to Gordon. It was a close fought thing overall, although Craig had his nose in front more often than not. After the 14th, Craig was two up, and had a ‘gimme’ putt on the 15th to go to three up and make it a tough ask for his opponent. It wasn’t a ‘gimme’ and the score stayed at 2 up to Craig. Gordon must have been inspired, and played some of his best golf to bring the match to dormie 1 at the 17th, and won the 18th to force a chip off to decide the match. His first chip was too far left and long, while Craig managed a better length with a potential 2m putt. Gordon’s putt was just a fraction off-line and long. Craig putted up to a tap-in, leaving Gordon with a pressure putt to go to a second chip-off. No such luck, and the match went to Craig. The other match was between CJ and JQ with two strokes going from CJ. Despite them both taking a couple of holes to warm up, CJ made the better of it, and got himself to 2 up in short order. That situation prevailed until the turn after nine. Four consecutive losses put the shoe on the other foot, and CJ now had his work cut out. He put his head down, and held the fort until, after sixteen, the match went dormie 2. The pressure was on, and he had to win everything to force a chip-off. JQ’s second shot was obstructed by a tree, CJ was in the Presidents office. JQ popped it out into the rough on the left of the green. CJ put it onto the green. JQ chipped it out of the rough, and into the hole for a birdie (one of only two for the day), putting an end to the match. The only question now, what would the final score be. CJ’s birdie went begging making the loss 3 and 1, rather than the 2 and 1 that might have been.

The Birthday Birdie was a bit remiss last week in not mentioning that Gordon was going to have one during the week. This week, Targe and Stan will have another stroke to play with in their efforts to shoot their age. In other news, Gavin was spotted teeing off with the afternoon group. Not because he is sick of us already, but because he was not a pretty picture early this morning after a late night celebrating the Tigers’ win last night. Harry is going to investigate whether there is a Guinness Book of Records entry for ‘tee driving distance’. Not the ball, but the actual tee. If so, he plans to nominate Nalin as a possible contender. Ken must have been harking back to his cricketing days today, as he was reported to be playing ‘cover drives’ on a regular basis today.

The story of the day, however, was best kept to last. Matt and SOS were strolling down the 10th fairway, sharing reminiscences about their recent trip to Cambodia. As is their wont, they let their remote control buggies carry on ahead of them, giving them a little adjustment now and then with the remote. Everything seemed hunky-dory until one of the playing group noticed that there was a buggy heading off across the 1st towards the 2nd tee. It was Matt’s. Seems he had decided that the buggy in front of him was his, and was, perhaps, wondering why it was not responding to his ‘adjustments’. In actual fact, it was SOS’s buggy, and Matt’s was doing exactly as it was being told as it headed off on its little adventure. Day-dreaming can be dangerous, particularly when the day-dreams are about ‘golf’ in Cambodia!

Results for Saturday, 23 May 2026
1st John Quinlan (37) 2nd Harry Boughen (35) 2nd Rajesh Mahto (35) 3rd Chris Priems (33) 4th Craig Cameron (31) 4th Robert Priems (31) 5th Nalin Samaranayake (30)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (35) 2nd Chris Priems (33) 3rd Craig Cameron (31) 3rd Robert Priems (31)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 7th Stephen O’Sullivan BallPin No 2 – 18th Matt Hunt