Next Week’s Details

Things got a bit shirty today. No, there weren’t fisticuffs, or anything like that. It was just that Prez turned up with the first order of the new club polos. There was a certain amount of bragging about being the only one to order a 3XL or something, though whether that is something to brag about is very much open to debate. A few members repaired to the facilities to do a try on, and several even ventured out to see if it would make a difference to their game with some new clobber. Speaking of new clobber, JQ was resplendent in some shiny new white shoes. Something about needing extra grip. Grip of Tarzan’s tube, perhaps? The sudden turn of chill in the morning air produced a certain amount of shivering, and induced the wearing of ‘winter’ gloves, but, as usual, there were the hardy types out in their summer gear. Fortunately, it warmed up reasonably quickly, and the dew on the greens burnt off. No racial or religious slur intended.

It was hinted during the week that Wazza had played out of his skin down at the Punter’s Club weekend, and he fronted today faced with his new handicap which took a beating thanks to his 43 point round on Saturday. Apparently, he cursed the handicapper for the entire round. CJ didn’t venture out in his new 3XL clobber, so it must have been something else that lit the fire in his afterburner. He started out with a par, followed up with a bogey, and then stumbled a bit to get singletons on the next two holes. Bt the turn there were five pars on the card and 21 points safely stashed away. He only managed four pars on the back, but avoided the singletons altogether for a one over the card total and another 22 points. More than enough to take out the honours for the day, and matching Wazza’s efforts a fortnight ago.

Raj did venture out in his new clobber, but the first few holes proved to be a bit of a struggle. Things improved, but they really took a turn for the better at the 8th. The drive headed for the trees on the left clipped the top of the first, and, somehow, missed the rest to finish reasonably placed on the left of the fairway. He then smacked one to around a metre from the hole and rolled it in for a birdie. Four points. Just about ditto on the 9th, and another four pointer. Six pars in a row had him heading for some sort of record score. The 16th went terribly wrong, and there were mutterings about ‘Eddy’, but another birdie on the 17th put paid to that thought. But, it did rob him of a potential winning score, and second place was his lot. His three birdies did a fair bit to help us to a total of eight for the day.

JQ was in one of the early groups, and was feeling pretty smug about his score with visions of peak points dancing in his head. His start wasn’t too flash, as he had racked up thirteen strokes after two holes. But, apparently, his putter was unbeatable today, and his playing companions agreed with his self-assessment that he was the best putter in the Club. However, his thirty-eight points was not even good enough to win a ball, and only worth three points at that. Brent struggled a bit on the front nine, and was a bit disappointed to turn with only 14 points on the card. The back nine was a completely different story, and his twenty-three points was due to a bottom line of one under the card, that was helped by a brilliant 54 wedge that never looked like missing the hole according to a witness. Nalin didn’t see the shot, as he was busy looking for his own ball, which was playing hard to get. The Eagle’s Nest had been cleaned out last week, and, luckily, the half ball a week increase is rounded up. Porks and SOS were happy to score a point as joint fifth place holders. SOS did get pretty cranky with himself, and was heard to blaspheme rather strongly after two shanks and a duff coming up the 6th. His fifth shot, was none of those as it flighted perfectly and finished in the hole for par.

Brendon thought that he had a good chance of winning something today, as he managed to get his name on each and every NTP card. Unfortunately, he was disappointed on all counts. On the 4th, where the prize was a ball, he was taken out, first, by JQ, and later, by Wazza. A bit of a highlight for the young fellah. On the 15th, for the money, Porks shot to 1.97m proved to be the winning shot, but not close enough for a birdie. On the 18th, our triumphant CJ was the man of the moment and collected the prize there. There were moves aplenty on the Order of Merit, some of larger ones representing the combined effect of the interposing of the Punter’s Club results and today’s outcome.

CJ reckons his victory today was even more impressive because he was playing with an ‘injury’. Actually, it was the aftermath of a skin cancer surgery, done yesterday, and against the surgeon’s advice not to play for a week or so. Prez claims that Chris owes him a lot for his high scoring because of the number of times that he had to putt first and gave CJ a line for the putt. Harry’s driver let him down a bit today, particularly on the 15th where he was lucky that the rough on the left spat his ball back into play. He was unlucky in that it was well short of the red markers. The first time in yonks that he has had a draughtie. Shot of the Round probably should go to Brent for his eagle on the 17th. Raj’s efforts on the 8th and 9th would be right up there, but he probably gets the runner-up for his second on the 11th. Standing behind and up against a tree with little follow through, he put it onto the green having skirted the penalty area, and barely missed the putt for yet another potential birdie.

Next week is the first round of a Major event, the Stuart Clarke Memorial. There is usually a very good roll-up for this prestigious event, so get yourselves down to the website and register. We usually have a barbecue lunch after the final round of Major events. However, circumstances have necessitated rescheduling the AGM to the 11th April, and the Committee decided that the Club lunch would also be postponed to that date. This just happens to be the first round of the Priems Cup for this year.

Results for Saturday, 14 Mar 2026
1st Chris Priems (43) 2nd Rajesh Mahto (41) 3rd John Quinlan (38) 4th Brent Rowley (37) 5th Ryan Porker (35) 5th Stephen O’Sullivan (35)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (43) 2nd Gordon Hill (30) 2nd Robert Priems (30) 3rd Harry Boughen (27)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Ryan Porker BallPin No 1 – 4th Warren Capes BallPin No 2 – 18th Chris Priems

Eagle’s Nest Results: Eagle – 17th Brent Rowley

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With a faint whiff of high octane fuel drifting across from Albert Park, the nostrils of the rev-heads were twitching excitedly. Visions of soaring across the Yarra to take out the 50th Birdman Rally tomorrow were temporarily put on hold as were preparations of the costumes and floats for the Moomba Parade. Of course, dreams of being crowned King of Moomba had long since been extinguished, so at least some of the seventeen members who turned up were not being distracted by the multitude of distractions on offer this weekend. There should have been eighteen members, but it seems that one of our younger members had been out on the Hunt, and couldn’t quite make it. It mattered nought though, because we were joined by Kody on spec, and he was so impressed by our little band of bandits that he plans to get his three cards in and become our actual youngest member.

With the recent bout of rain, the course has really jumped out of its skin and looks a treat, except for the persisting bare patches that seem to have a ball attracting property. The water features were very much in evidence. There was a spout in the main dam to rival the Captain Cook Memorial Jet in Canberra, as well as the cute little fountain in front of the second tee. The water feature by the third tee was also in action. Plus, as a surprise addition, a new water feature came into action just as the second group were teeing off on the 9th. Apparently, AI decided that the tee could do with a bit of water.

Porks put in a couple of contenders for shots of the day, both on the 14th. His drive was so long that it actually went through the green, and finished in what was described as a tough lie in the long. He pulled out one of his trusty wedges, and proceeded to put it into the hole to clean out the Eagle’s Nest (again), and help himself to one over par on the back, seventy-one for the round, and net sixty-seven for the medal. In the process, he also grabbed back his top spot on the Order of Merit. Any bets on the length of run this time? Another shot that garnered a mention for shot of the round was JQ’s chip in for a birdie on the first. However, the shots that were waxed lyrical about most, were a couple by Kody, who, by the way, only took up the game late last year, A drive on the 13th reached past the penalty area on the left, while on the 16th he finished up by the big tree on the right. One to watch, you would have to say.

In a discussion about pace of play, Brendon had to own up to having to search extensively for his ball a number of times over the front nine. One such foray resulted in an Aunty Kate for the hole. And, by the way, there were a remarkable number of Aunty Kates plodded for the day. This came nowhere near Nalin’s effort on the 17th, where four into the penalty area and one lost/OOB resulted in a tally of fifteen. Anyway, Brendon got his mojo back on the back, which he completed just two over with three consecutive bogies to the 18th spoiling his chances of a win, but good enough to collect second place.

Rumour has it that Matt was one of the flyers at the Punter’s Club last weekend, and collected most of the nearest the pins as well. After being let down a bit on the front, he managed the back three over, and fitted nicely into third place. There was quite a gaggle to fill fourth with Harry, CJ, JQ, and SOS all finishing with seventy-three, while AndrewV brought up the rear of the points table.

The Nearest the Pins all went off. The jackpot ProPin on the 12th looked to be all but unbeatable when Harry blithely measured the distance to Pepsi at 0.95m only to be reminded that that was actually Pepsi’s second shot. The distance to Brendon’s first shot turned out to be 2.755m, which Brendon opined would not hold. There were a couple of close calls, but it did, and he collected today’s money, plus the $6 carried over from last week. AndrewV was probably pretty confident about the security of his claim on the BallPin on the 15th, but he hadn’t counted on SteveG who collected the ball, and added a birdie to our tally of nine. Craig was the only one to get onto the 18th for the Jackpot on offer there.

Harry thought his long putt for par on the 3rd should have rated a mention for one of the shots of the day as it ran true and hit the pin dead centre. Although, if it hadn’t done so, it could easily have been off the green. Another long putt of note was from Porks on the 18th, where he had taken three strokes to get to about 6m from the hole. Sinking that saved us from having to do a count-back for the Medal. Craig was pretty cranky with himself for striking the wrong ball on the 13th, although there were other ‘sins’ that didn’t help his score either. Pepsi started to show signs of the putting yips down at the Punter’s Club, which he put down to some of the excesses involved. However, they continued today, but he did spend time at the GP yesterday. Although the compulsory play rule for the Matchplay was waived, and most people opted to exercise that right, Marc and SteveG agreed that they would continue as planned. The result looked to be fairly nip and tuck for the first nine holes, but Steve suffered a bit of a lapse at the start of the back, and, by the 14th the match was dormie 4 in favour of Marc. Steve’s birdie on the 15th was a win to make dormie 3, and he needed to keep winning to bring the match to a chip-off after the 18th. A loss at the 16th brought the match to an end 4 and 2 in Marc’s favour. The Calendar will be reworked, and play in the event will resume, probably next week.

Results for Saturday, 07 Mar 2026
1st Ryan Porker (67) 2nd Brendon Mitchell (68) 3rd Matt Hunt (71) 4th Harry Boughen (73) 4th Chris Priems (73) 4th John Quinlan (73) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan (73) 5th Andrew Vogan (74)

Seniors Results: 1st Matt Hunt (71) 2nd Harry Boughen (73) 2nd Chris Priems (73) 3rd Andrew Vogan (74)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 1 – 15th Steven Gervasoni BallPin No 2 – 18th Craig Cameron

Eagle’s Nest Results: Eagle – 14th Ryan Porker

With most of the membership skiving off down to the Pen for a weekend of fun and frivolity (and some golf, apparently), there were serious doubts that we could scare up enough starters to have a competition. Fortunately, right on the deadline, the sixth registration clicked in, and six members headed off to tackle a nicely refreshed course, thanks to the storms that passed through the area during the week. There is a bit more rain forecast, and if we can get a few warm days as well, this could have the course in pretty good shape for the coming cooler weather as autumn, and eventually winter, descends upon us. Our six members were joined by Gavin, from the afternoon cabal, setting up seven for the first tee. Only six played the 18th, as one member had retired, but, as we had started with the required number, there was still a competition in play. Game on!

AndrewV has been the hot stock to watch over the last little while, and he didn’t disappoint as he cracked one straight down the guts from the first tee. Uh oh, thought the gallery, here we go again. And, that was almost the case. Dan’s drive from the first was pretty good as well, but in the end, both managed a minus for the hole. It was ditto for Dan until the third, but AV managed to get back to square in the same space. It wasn’t until the 7th that Dan managed to get a par and a plus on the card. However, from there on, he said goodbye to the negativity and played out the back nine for a plus three to take out the day in positive territory on plus 1.

Andrew does not seem to be at all fazed by his dizzyingly low handicap, and it could be speculated that there is a fair chance of it getting even lower in the near future. He, very cunningly, played exactly to his handicap and came second, a sure way to maximise your points without affecting your handicap. That, and playing often, is a surefire path to Championship glory. He did think, during the round, that the Golf Gods had it in for him, as a couple of stray shots whizzed by disturbingly close, with little evidence of a warning call. Thankfully, the offenders were not from our Club.

Steve reckons that he should get extra points for having put out the NTP markers correctly. Unfortunately, he will have to settle for the three points on offer for his third placing with minus one on the card. He did go close to having to shout for a draughtie from the 17th tee, which, maybe robbed him of some more points. Harry’s digging arm let him down a bit today, and he struggled into fourth with minus four, while Blighty could offer no excuse for him straggling in on minus six, although he did get a point, despite all that. His result probably wasn’t helped by his drive on the 9th that travelled fully a metre and a half from the tee peg. The draughtie beverages were much appreciated. His second shot was thought, by all, to be in the short rough off to the right, but it could not be found, either there or in the adjacent long rough.

The Nearest the Pin trophies almost all went begging what with the small field and all. However, AndrewV did manage to get onto the 4th, and he will collect his winnings in due course.

Gavin can hit the ball a country mile, but, early on, his direction and range control was a bit off. So much so that he had to declare lost on both the first and second holes. He did make two shots that would be contenders for Michael’s ‘Shot of the Round’. On the 8th, he had a ball in the long close to the OOB fence, and close to a post that blocked any shot parallel to the fence. Rather than take the penalty for relief, he faced the fence, gave it a good whack, and the ball popped up and back over his head, leaving him with a better view of the green than the relief would have given. The second gets my vote. On the 17th, his drive finished just over a metre short of the tree on the corner, completely stymied except for the gap between the two trunks. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, he took out some sort of a wedge and smashed it through the gap to land it on the green, almost as a slam dunk, to finish within puttable distance of the hole.

It seems that what happens at the Punter’s Club stays at the Punter’s Club, but, if any snippets do filter through, they might get added as an addendum. So keep coming back to see if anybody snitches.

Results for Saturday, 28 Feb 2026
1st Dan Marie (+1) 2nd Andrew Vogan (□) 3rd Steven Gervasoni (-1) 4th Harry Boughen (-4) 5th Andrew Blight (-6)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Vogan (□) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (-1) 3rd Harry Boughen (-4)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 4th Andrew Vogan BallPin No 2 – 18th Jackpot

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Good luck to all the boys heading down to the beach for this year’s Punters Club golfing odyssey.

Gordo got the beach theme going a week early by forgetting his putter and borrowing a Cleveland Huntington Beach from the pro-shop and putting the lights out with it, 23 points on the front and 15 on the back.

Meanwhile, Andrew V, who has been known to take an interest in golfing statistics, reported his best ever putting round with his trusty Odyssey blade.

He knocked Gordo off by a shot for the win.

In doing so, Andrew has shot to the lead in the “all ages” Championship passing by the other Andrew who is now in second, with Gordo surging past Brendon and Targe into third. Gordo has also surfed a wave past Porks into the lead in Harry’s favourite Order of Merit race.

Andrew V has also joined Matty in equal first place in the Seniors Championship, although he’s dropped down the pecking order in the Eclectic because the Eclectic includes a handicap factor. In losing 2 shots from 16 (16.3) to 14 (14.4) after his win this week, it reduces Andrew V’s net Eclectic score. Peps, Porks and Nalin lead the Eclectic.

A LONG WAY TO GO

Of course it is early days in the Championship / Trophy races. Counting our two-week majors as “2 rounds” we have completed 12 rounds of our 52-round season (23%).

In AFL terms we are at about three-quarter time of Round 6, which this year includes Carlton vs Collingwood on April 16. You don’t win too many Premierships in April.

In Round 6 of 2024, eventual premiers Brisbane kicked 4 goals 13 points in their loss to Geelong and sat 12^th on the ladder with 2 wins (8 points) from their 6 games.

Currently sitting in equal 12^th place on our Championship table are JQ and Kenny on 8 points. Can they do a Brisbane 2024?

If it was the Melbourne Cup, we’d have travelled less than the first 800 metres of the 3,200 metre race.

Who might do a Cross Counter (2018) or Kiwi (1983) and come from the back of the field to win the 2026 Ivanhoe Men’s Golf Club Melbourne Cup?

Or better still, Wotan at 100-1 odds in the 1936 Melbourne Cup.

Of those with points on the board, currently bringing up the rear of the field are Raj, Steve G and Marc.

Any backers for one of those three at 100-1?

MANGO BUNKERS

There’s a rumour the Kenny mango scene might have got stuck in another bunker, but there were plenty of takers for this week’s potentially final offerings.

Thanks for the ride with the mangoes over the years Kenny! My mango loving mum says an especially big thank you!

Fellow playing partners in the first group SoS and CJ also want to say big thanks for the jug you supplied via your swish on the first, which apparently went down very well with the audience watching.

Payment in mangoes was accepted.

Heath also supplied some entertainment on the first, hitting his drive adjacent to the 13^th green. No problems though. Two neat shots from there and a couple of putts saw him start with a no fuss 3-pointer.

SOS PAINTING PICTURES

Of the 9 birdies across the field today none was more spectacular than SoS birdieing the 5^th for the second week in a row.

Asked by Brendon at the presentation to talk us through it, SoS got all enthusiastic and said “I hit one shot, then another and then the third shot went in the hole.” He knows how to paint a picture for the blog our SoS.

SoS’s continued good form (37 points) was good enough for third place on his own, followed by four blokes sharing fourth on 36 (Craig, Nalin, Porks and JQ).

WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

Marc played well for 35 points and was left ruing a four-hole stretch of 1-pointers from the 11^th to the 14^th. What might have been.

Ditto said Porks who was on world record pace standing over a shortish birdie putt on the 13^th and heading for a personal best. Fout putts later, the double bogey 6 for 1 took a bit of wind out of the Porks sails.

Of the others, honourable mentions to players with 30+, Steve G (34) Brendon and CJ (33) and Rob (31). The 20 something strugglers were Raj, Wazza, Michael, Heath, Kenny and Targe.

Bobby started in the field of 19 members but decided to call it quits after the 13^th. Some serious family medical issues in Bobby’s world at the moment. Our thoughts are with you Bobby.

We also had a visitor to make it 20 players, Gavin, who normally plays on Saturday afternoons but needed an early tee time this week. Nice bloke, but guessing he will stick with Saturday afternoons.

NO BALLS MICHAEL

Marc won the ball on the 7^th with a great 5 iron a few inches closer than Michael had earlier hit one of his only good shots of the day with a 4 iron.

Porks knocked off Michael for the ball on the 18^th, taking the inside NTP as well with a shot to 3.17 metres to the always difficult back pin.

Porks also won the Pro-pin money on the 15^th. There are rumours the tax office are avid blog readers and have Porks lined up for a tax audit this year.

HARRY’S BACK!

Harry is back in town and will be resuming normal duties from next week. Seems like he’s been away far too long. His Assistant Apprentice Handicapper and blog writer needs a Bex and good lie down.

Results for Saturday, 21 Feb 2026
1st Andrew Vogan (39) 2nd Gordon Hill (38) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (37) 4th Craig Cameron (36) 4th Ryan Porker (36) 4th John Quinlan (36) 4th Nalin Samaranayake (36) 5th Marc Phillips (35)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Vogan (39) 2nd Gordon Hill (38) 3rd Craig Cameron (36)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Ryan Porker BallPin No 1 – 7th Marc Phillips BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker