Next Week’s Details

Talk about gravel-rash! Won’t be able to play next week. Got an important game to attend. But, I’m only a couple of points behind. Maybe some soft-soap will work! Must have been more than soft-soap, because Carolyn is going out tomorrow and it’s CJ’s birthday. So a Happy Flappy from the Birthday Birdie, at least. So, with fourteen registrations, and a couple of write-ins on the assumption that they’d be sure to turn out, we had a field of sixteen (with Brendon a late fill-in for Blighty) and one guest, as Danny came along again to check us out (and vice versa). There were a few showers overnight, but the overcast sky promised to hold off until the forecast afternoon. There was a half- hearted drizzle after a couple of holes, but the few umbrellas that came out barely got wet. The course played well even if a little slowly with some groups of dawdlers out in front. At least the groups of four were able to keep up easily.

The big question was whether Pepsi would be able to maintain the blazing standard that he set last week, and would the trailing pack of hounds have enough bottle to be able to turn back the margin. Pepsi’s assessment was that he didn’t play particularly well on the front nine, and only managed to turn square with the card. Was anybody threatening at that stage. Not really, the best at the turn being Brendon, who was only along for the ride. Pepsi didn’t mar his card with a minus in the second half, and three wins on the trot at the half way mark made his the equal best back nine of the day by matching the card off-the-stick once again. Hello Fred Kitson, and bye-bye eight handicap. The jury is still out on the question of whether this is the highest score/greatest winning margin in the FK Cup. Stay tuned! The win however, has pushed Pepsi right up into the mix in the run home to the 2026 Championship, which means the next month should see some jockeying for position as they come down the straight. He also managed to tip JQ off the top of the OOM.

The next placing was filled by some movers and shakers. The shaker was CJ, badly affected by gravel-rash, who finished in negative territory for the day, but still in the plus for the event. Matt reckons he was never here to try to win the trophy, just to rack up some points in the Championship, which he did quite comfortably. But the big mover, and in recent times, was Ken, who has been fairly killing it since he gave up work to play golf. His round today included three of our eleven birdies, and the second placing scored him a Rocket as he clambers up the ladder in the OOM. Prez has been performing pretty steadily in recent times. For reasons we won’t go into, he was taken by a fit of the giggles on the 16th tee, which caused him to shank one into the kid’s playground next door. A minor setback, and probably not enough to have set him back a place in the field. Another trio filled the fourth spot in the event. Craig was back to his ‘old reliable’ self although he did trade wins and losses to finish square on the front. He managed five wins on the back, but a couple of losses meant that he only matched points with Pepsi for the nine. JQ missed a lot of ‘squaring’ opportunities, which robbed him of a chance to finish much higher up the list, but the double batch of points was welcome in the circumstances. SOS reckoned that he was bound to have some luck today after he was crapped upon from a great height. At the close of play, he was still waiting for it to turn up, though he was pretty pleased to have broken his nice new handicap after the AC win. AndrewV picked up the last points on offer for the event.

The ProPin was on the 4th, and Craig was in charge of putting out the markers. Needless to say that he did not forget to put it out when his drive finished 3.1m from the pin. There was at least one close call, but the measurement stood the test of time, and he collected the $17 on offer. The first BallPin was on the 15th, and the first group were sure to put out the markers when Brendon put his smiling face on the chit. Unfortunately, the par three specialist of the day, Ken, beat him by ‘heaps’, and collected the prize on offer. On the 18th, Raj played one of his shots that wasn’t a shank, and made it onto the green to a distance that could easily have been hard to beat. Unfortunately, Matt managed to do so, and took great delight in crossing out Raj’s name – again!.

The shot of the round was voted to have gone to Nalin. And, no, it was not nearly a HIO. It started on the 17th tee where a severe shank finished in the vicinity of the 18th green. And, it wasn’t a miraculous recovery from there. The second shot scuttled down the hill and finished short of the penalty area. Guess again. Third shot, hit a tree and finished in the open but with a line of trees in the way. Fourth shot, over the trees, straight for the hole, only to run out of puff a quarter of a turn too soon, to miss the par. Everybody learned some new terminology today, as El Capitano tried to explain what the heck a ‘sniper shank’ was. In typical Kiwi fashion, nobody was much wiser afterwards, but apparently SOS had one on the 4th and finished in the ‘raspberries’ . Whether this is a reference to the ‘tart’ varieties or not is another matter. Raji Shankar had another day of it today according to all reports, but one of his exploits must surely challenge Nalin for shot of the day. His second shot on the 9th went wildly right and finished over towards the 18th green with the intervening row of trees between him and the green. Well known for his full swing highly lofted pitch shots, he did just that and put it about 300mm from the hole and made the tap-in for his par.

The barbecue after the round was well catered again, and SOS did remember to bring the gas bottle. But, in the process, it seems that he forgot to bring the Treasurer’s bag, so it was the money or the money for the ball run today. Brendon spent a fair bit of time on the tongs, but he seems to have forgotten the flatten the burgers, and some were still a little on the pink side in the middle when served. Any stomach upsets should be reported to Brendon immediately, regardless of the time of day or night. CJ, who is infamous for stomach upsets, was advocating the consumption of pink chicken but whether this was in training or as an antidote was quite unclear.

Results for Saturday, 24 Oct 2026
1st Andrew Petricola (+7, + 3, + 10) 2nd Matt Hunt (□, + 3, + 3) 2nd Chris Priems (+5, -2, + 3) 2nd Ken Watson (+2, + 1, + 3) 3rd Robert Priems (+1, □, + 1) 4th Craig Cameron (-4, + 3, -1) 4th John Quinlan (+2, -3, -1) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan (-3, + 2, -1) 5th Andrew Vogan (+1, -3, -2)

Seniors Results: 1st Matt Hunt (□, +3, +3) 1st Chris Priems (+5, -2, +3) 1st Ken Watson (+2, +1, +3) 2nd Robert Priems (+1, □, +1) 3rd Craig Cameron (-4, +3, -1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Craig Cameron BallPin No 1 – 15th Ken Watson BallPin No 2 – 18th Matt Hunt

Did the outing to Rich River last week have any beneficial effect? Or otherwise? The weather from there certainly migrated down this way although those Steves without any form of layering did exhort the sun to get itself above the tree-line over the first few holes. When it did, any need for layering quickly disappeared, and Nalin was spotted flashing some bare skin as he made it all the way down to one (layer, that is). The preferred lie sandwich board was firmly locked away, and the fairways were remarkably firm and giving plenty of run. The greens are in good nick, and would stay that way if everybody took the time to repair a pitch mark (or two). Part of the tee on the 4th has been re-turfed, but it could have been given a bit more time to settle in as it was quickly looking the worse for wear from being used recently. Conditions were so good, that people were fairly knocking down the doors to get a spot, and we ended up with sixteen hopefuls trying to get in on some of the last big point scoring for this competition year.

Pepsi finished around the middle of the field last week, and he wasn’t too pleased with the way he had played. Today was another matter entirely. He played the course like a concert piano. 3, 4, 5, 3, 4, 5, 3, 5, 4 set the tune for the front nine to make the turn one over the card and four points to the good. 4, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 5, 4, 2 changed the beat for the back to match the card for another three points and a grand total strokes of 69 (titter, titter). Definitely the man to catch next week. If anybody has a chance to do it, it would have to be CJ. But, there is a big but! It seems that there is a very important basketball match next Saturday morning that requires his undivided attention. So, unless he can do some very sweet talking, it might be daylight between Pepsi and the rest of the field. CJ actually hit all the right notes on the back to card a perfect 4, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3 suggesting that his handicap could also do with a trim. Roll out the barber’s chair! Pepsi has now elbowed his way into the silver medal position on the OOM, while CJ also got a fair boost and scored this week’s Rocket.

Still, we never should write off the dark horses in the field. A broken fetlock, a battery under the saddle or the judicious application of the whip can often make the difference when it come to the home straight. JQ was having a bit of a brag about his chip-in for a birdie on the 7th, on his way to his final tally of plus two. But the happy snap, is not his. Nor is it a hole-in-one. But more on that later. Young Ken looks like turning into that Hongkong horse that everybody seems to be talking about as his game goes from strength to strength. With a very steady performance up the river last week to finish well up in the field, he followed up today to make the turn three holes to the good. He was noted having a minor shankeration on the 15th, and ended up one down on the back to finish right alongside JQ. On our way to eleven birdies for the day, the shot of the day would have to go to Prez who found himself on the hill at the back left of the 12th green. Not to worry, he says, I’ll just chip it in. Which he did! This started a remarkable run where he reeled off four wins in a row to help him finish the round in positive territory. AndrewV produced the same tallies for each nine, and the round, but he did not require the big run of wins to do so. Matt seemed pretty happy to have turned in a square card after his handicap took a bit of a cut after last week.

The first BallPin was on the 4th, and SteveG, in the first group put in a claim that lay a fair distance from the hole. Nobody else was able to get any closer, though Pepsi did report being just 300mm further away. On the 18th, the pin was on the top deck, and Gavin was the only one to get their name on the card. The ProPin was set on the 12th, and Raj managed to get within the 5m circle, although not by much. On the other hand, CJ managed to get within the 2m circle (by an even smaller margin – it would be difficult for it to be any smaller) to collect the cash on offer.

CJ had a bit of the Priems luck in his round today. On the 13th his approach to the green was well left, went close to taking out a walker on the path before taking a bounce and finishing on the green from where he managed a par. He followed up on the 14th with a drive heading for the OOB when it just happened to hit the edge of the duckboards and finish back in the middle of the fairway, and another par was the result. SOS usually sneaks into the coaching room to get in a few practice swings before he heads to the tee. Nothing unusual about that, you might think. Except that he found himself practicing with somebody else’s clubs that he had taken from a bag parked outside. Nalin was not confident that he would find his first drive from the 17th, so he opted to play a provisional with the aim of taking on the shot to the green. It was judged to be either too far right or in the penalty area. The original ball was found and played, but the provisional was nowhere to be seen and was deemed lost. Except that SOS, in the following group, found it, plugged, just shy of the green.

There were a group of three magpies making themselves at home on the 16th green. They were so intent on hunting in a circle about a metre around the pin, that Harry had to hunt them away so that he could take his putt without getting a ‘birdie’. When CJ arrived on the green, one of the birds decided that his ball might be fair game and made a good job of moving his ball further from the hole. Fortunately, that does count as outside influence. Gordo was looking very resplendent today in one of his South American souvenir shirts, probably celebrating Dia de los Muertos (or something similar). Speaking of shirts, SteveG tossed his Challenge NARGA tee-shirt into the wash, and he now has a fine collection of baby-cack yellow work shirts.

Next week is the final round of the Fred Kitson. Last year’s winner, please note, bring the Trophy. There will be the usual well catered barbecue after the round, and all are welcome to come along, whether you played this week or not. Come along and see what/who folds or unfolds. The Barbecue Brigade (depending on registrations etc) will likely include Raji Shankar, Hip-hop Hill, Raygun Nailgun or others depending on the whims of the Tee Marshal. Speaking of the Tee Marshal, he did a great job of clearing the crowd from the registration table as tee time approached. Though is is a bit unclear as the why there was so much waving of scorecards, pulling of pointing fingers and calling on shades of last weekend associated with the exodus from the cafe area.

Results for Saturday, 17 Oct 2026
Leaderboard Round 1: 1st Andrew Petricola (+7) 2nd Chris Priems (+5) 3rd John Quinlan (+2) 3rd Ken Watson (+2) 4th Robert Priems (+1) 4th Andrew Vogan (+1) 5th Matt Hunt (□)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Chris Priems (+5) 2nd Ken Watson (+2) 3rd Robert Priems (+1) 3rd Andrew Vogan (+1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Chris Priems BallPin No 1 – 4th Steven Gervasoni BallPin No 2 – 18th Gavin Quirk

This is the time of the year when anything can happen. The weather can turn bad (or good) at the drop of a hat. Cricket teams can lose (or win) tests at the drop (or take) of a catch. Golfers can win trophies (or miss out) at the drop (or not) of a putt. The weather was good, with not even a hint of it turning bad, and that made it ideal for a round or two, if not for a pound or two. There was only one round at Ivanhoe, but there were two up on the Murray, where the majority of Club members settled in for a couple of days of golf, interrupted by some well considered (or not) wining, dining and punting. Which had the effect of leaving the pickings at Ivanhoe very thin on the ground, despite some late pleading to try to get a quorum together, so there would at least be a competition. No such luck. The registration sheet stayed almost as empty as one of JQ’s discarded ciggie packets. Assuming that he hasn’t been bumming off Pepsi, that is.

Dan brought along his mate, Tom, who can hit the ball a country mile using only a hybrid. Watch out if he ever learns to use a driver! Danny, on the other hand, is looking to revive his golfing career after a family-life induced break, came along to meet some of the gang, and to clear a few years worth of cob-webs out of his golf gear, and his head. He did struggle a bit with his reading of the greens, but his bottom line did support his claim of a handicap of about thirteen. He has promised to come again when his work roster (and moving house, etc) allow. Harry does blame him for putting the mockers on him after the 7th by commenting on how well he was playing, and how he would conjure a result from his drive position on the 8th. The consecutive triples possibly prevented H from matching, if not breaking, his age. Then again, maybe not!

Some of the high livers made to the course in time for a practice round on Friday. The practice seemed to help some, but a few would rather not talk about their Saturday results. Despite being found asleep in the bar at closing, CJ didn’t do too badly, and might have thought he was in with a chance. Sunday didn’t go quite so well, and reports have it that this did not contribute to his award of the Cock’s Plate, which was solely due to some skid-marks that he left.

SOS headed the field on Saturday, managing to break his handicap in the process. Hot on his heels, just a couple of points behind was Dale, so it looked as if there would be some fierce competition on Sunday, particularly with a few others lurking not too far behind. Dale started Sunday with five pars and a birdie on the first six holes, and you could be forgiven for thinking that it was a done deal from there. But, SOS kept his cool, and kept the pace up on the back as Dale faded, to finish just one, agonising point behind. SOS was mighty pleased to accept the Mustard Jacket, and the accolades of all present.

As Dale is not a Club member, this meant that Ken, who put together two nicely balanced rounds takes pride of place in second. Matt had one of the shockers on Saturday, but absolutely played out of his skin on Sunday, decimating his handicap, and elevating himself from a lowly first round rank into third place. Brent and Nalin tied it up for fourth, while CJ (aka Cock’s Jocks) slotted himself into the last point on offer. They probably did not want this mentioned, but SteveG and Gordo tied for the NARGA, which Steve won on a countback (if such a thing exists for such an award).

Ryan soldiered on gallantly as his back/leg continues to give him curry, and affects his ability to swing freely. It apparently does not affect his ability to snore. Mehmet and Zimmer also joined in the fun, both on the course and around the pokies. Nothing much changes, but there were laughs aplenty. Brendon did score one of the birdies of the event, thanks to a slight over-clubbing of an approach shot, that hit Raj and stopped on the green. You’d think the Club Captain would be a little more considerate.

All in all, it was voted a great weekend, even if some of the golf didn’t match. Thanks have to go the Matt for his organisation, and badgering of people to pay up, and scaring up replacements to late drop-outs. Thanks also to Gordo for the happy snaps and the notes.

Results for Saturday, 10 Oct 2026
Ivanhoe: No Competition

Challenge: 1st Stephen O’Sullivan (38, 32, 70) 2nd Ken Watson (32, 32, 64) 3rd Matt Hunt (24, 39, 63) 4th Brent Rowley (33, 27, 60) 4th Nalin Samaranayake (28, 32, 60) 5th Chris Priems (32, 27, 59)

Seniors Results:
Ivanhoe : No Competition
Challenge: 1st Ken Watson (32, 32, 64) 2nd Matt Hunt (24, 39, 63) 3rd Chris Priems (32, 27, 59)

We started out with a reasonable field on the books, but, no sooner had the groups been set that the resignations began trickling in. And trickling in. And trickling in. The question then looked like being, would we get a quorum? The radar looked to be promising a break in proceedings and the notes kept accumulating on the table, until, at last, there was $30. A comp! Then Gordo arrived and plonked down his shrapnel, just to spoil SOS’s day, and we had more than enough for a competition. The break in the weather did last for a little while, but, then, the showers came and kept coming for much of the morning. It wasn’t bucketting down, but it was more than enough to keep the greens just that little bit saturated. Rather than persist with their putters, CJ and Gordo took to using their chippers on the green. To good effect in CJ’s case, when he sank one on the 12th from a good six metres for his par. He also tried his nine iron at one stage, but it was nowhere near as effective, taking four to get it in the hole.

The other Priems was asking why the 4th wasn’t the ProPin after he landed his drive onto the green. His mood picked up when he drained the putt to get one of the two birdies for the day. The shoulders sagged more than somewhat when he managed double figures on the 6th, though he did console himself with the fact that it was a par five. He had his head down on the 8th for his chip onto the green, and, as he looked up to watch the flight, what did he see but Harry wandering aimlessly across the green, right in the line. The ball got tangled up with H’s legs and finished only just on the green. Despite these setbacks, Rob kept plugging away and was disappointed to only manage a four on the 18th to miss out on pars on all par threes on the back. Despite the downsides, he always held the view that neither the conditions nor the play, warranted a walk-off. But, he still worried that his net score of seventy-one might not cut the mustard. However, he needn’t have worried, and the Medal was his.

Dan was complaining bitterly about what a miserable day he was having as his tally of double bogies kept climbing. However, he managed to steady the ship on the back nine with an almost respectable run of pars and bogies to finish up in second place. The only tie of the day, much to Harry’s disappointment, was between SOS and Raj who both managed to card a quintuple bogie on their way into third place. Then came a fair stretch of daylight until we find CJ, who reckoned that it was a long time since he had scored (in the nineties, that is). Gordo was back with his new hip and new hope, but without his golf shoes. Seems they didn’t make it onto his check list for the comeback. The sneakers he had to play in only resulted in one anxious moment when he went close to losing his footing during a shot, and he took the last point on offer. Which left Harry ruing his backhand tap-in efforts on the 18th that robbed him of any chance of increasing his slender lead in the Championship.

The first BallPin was on the 12th, though it probably should have been on the 15th. When ‘somebody’ wrote out the tickets, he suffered a senior moment and put 12th on both. Regardless, the ball was won, not by 905, but by SOS, who appears to have held the pencil with his teeth when marking the card. The second BallPin, on the 18th was collected by Raj, whose ball was judged to have been held suspended in mid-air and bound to fall short, only to land on the green, probably close enough to pick up the voucher from the ProShop. Our ProPin, on the 15th, was judged to be Raj’s, for the taking after he cracked it close. CJ stepped up, pushed the ball well left, turned it off the slope, and ran it onto the green, not missing the hole by much as it went past. The tape measure was needed to decide the eventual winner, but CJ’s 3.45m was good enough to beat Raj’s 3.90m. CJ promptly blew the winnings, and probably more, on another beer.

Rob couldn’t believe that Harry chose to mark his ball when it was only 300mm from the hole at one stage. After the 18th, he maybe understood the hazards of the ‘casual tap-in’. CJ was a bit concerned about the lack of consideration shown by his playing companions after this buggy went ‘ape-droppings’ as he left the 16th green. Seems he must have gotten moisture in his controller and the only action it would take was a full-tilt turn. While he struggled to stop it running off the ‘cliff’ beside the path, and to free-wheel the drive, they headed on up the hill and left him for dead. Then had the hide to ask him where he had been.

The Annual Challenge is on next weekend, and the handicaps will be set tomorrow after all of the GA results have been processed. For those not going, brush the cobwebs off the clubs and come along, we would dearly love to have a comp, though there will be a social game if the numbers do not stack up. Early registering would also be good so that we can advise the ProShop of our numbers at the earliest opportunity.

Results for Saturday, 03 Oct 2026
1st Robert Priems (71) 2nd Dan Marie (75) 3rd Rajesh Mahto (77) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (77) 4th Chris Priems (83) 5th Gordon Hill (84)

Seniors Results: 1st Robert Priems (71) 2nd Chris Priems (83) 3rd Gordon Hill (84)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Chris Priems BallPin No 1 – 12th Stephen O’Sullivan BallPin No 2 – 18th Rajesh Mahto