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Along came a chipper-chopper on 23 March 2024

Flower power
Is this really a magic wand?

Autumn is now with us (astronomically) and there is a fair bet that from now on the coolth will hang around a little longer as the morning progresses. The moisture bearing fronts are still being held out by the highs, and the green-keepers are concentrating on the greens and tees. As a result, some of the fairways are starting to look a bit on the bony side, with bare lies taking a bit of a shine off the extra run that is available. Pretty much everybody from last week turned out again, and the field was bolstered by those keen to sink their fangs into SOS’s sizzling sausages and those keen to be part of the sizzling AGM that followed. We had nineteen regular members to take the field, and two lifers in Rodger and Allan, all resplendent in shirts of many colours, although there were a few who were not quite so resplendent. Regardless of the standard of shirt worn, all were respectful to the memory of Stuart, for whom the trophy is dedicated.

There were four green bottles hanging on the wall at the beginning of the round, and the big question was how many of them would accidentally fall. Brendon started out like a house on fire with a birdie on the first, and continued with something of a birdie master-class to finish the front nine one over the card with 22 points and his hand seemingly glued to the trophy. Raj played his first nine in an ‘average’ sort of way and was bemoaning the fact that he had gone to the driving range yesterday, chipped in with his first practice chip this morning, and thus had used up all of his good shots. Charles thought he had unjinxed the first tee until he stepped up and once again found himself deeply embedded in ‘Charlie’s bush’. However, he made a creditable recovery to finish the nine with 16 points. Harry also started off in good form, but had an unfortunate run-in with a tree branch on the 3rd that propelled his ball OOB, and he followed up with further tree ‘trouble’ on the 6th that meant that after nine, he trailed the group with only 15 points. However, Charlie was just warming up, with the chipping and putting standing him in very good stead. On the 11th, he lobbed his second onto the green, and it ran a fair distance past the hole, at which point, he had a few words to say about the vagaries of golf. And, of course, he rapped it up, and it very politely fell into the hole for birdie and a very handy four points, which helped him to 24 for the back, 40 for the round, and the Stuart Clarke Memorial Trophy with 78 points. Not to mention a shiny new handicap, which he is more than capable of playing to.

At this stage, we have to mention a couple of ‘blow-ins’, who managed to do their handicap some minor injury with their scores today. Our ‘occasional’ Captain, Matt was sitting pretty for quite a while today as daily Clubhouse leader. Matt took a few holes to get going, but he was pretty pleased with his game on the 7th where he put his tee shot on the green close enough to score the first BallPin, and then he topped it off for a birdie for a very handy four points. He finished the back nine, one under the card to score 22 points, which brought his total to 39. CJ started off well enough, but leaked a bit of oil in the closing stages of the front nine to finish the half with just 15 points. The mojo came back with a vengeance on the back with three birdies in quick succession, which helped to bring him home with another 22 points and a total of 37 for the round.

Raj continued the back nine pretty much as he played the front, although he did manage to garner a couple more points to finish right on his handicap with 36 points for the day. His event total of 74 points brought him home in second place. After going close to parring the front nine despite several ‘worm-burner’ drives, Brendon then proceeded to build what he described as a picket fence with a serried row of palings with the occasional one missing. Even a couple of two-pointers in the dying stages of the nine were not able to get him into double figures, but his tally of 31 points was enough to score him a share of third for the event. Ryan went through a series of ups and downs as the scoring chances came and went. The front nine consumed most of his handicap, and the back nine fared only slightly better in that regard. So, despite being only one shot off the lead at the start of the round, the 32 points scored today was enough to tie it up with Brendon for third place, nine strokes from the front.

Despite some confusion about which card was scored which way (we’re looking at you, Allan) SOS was more than pleased with his game today after trailing the field after week one. There were obviously some missed chances, so the score line of 36 points possibly does not reflect the true standard of play. After crashing his buggy into some of the signage by the first tee, Bob was standing around until somebody asked him if he was going to have a shot, as everybody else in the group had hit off. Despite the inauspicious start, Bobbie made a fair fist of the front nine, putting together four three pointers in a row to make the turn with 21 points on the card, rivalling the start that Brendon made. He didn’t quite match Brendon’s picket-fence on the back, but he did falter just a bit to make a pair of 34’s for the event and gathered 4th place for his efforts. The picket-fencing might have been contagious, because Harry also produced a reasonable facsimile on the back nine to produce a final total of 66 points to come into 5th place. Old Reliable started out reliably enough with a par on the first, but the scoring didn’t really get a flow on for the front nine. The back nine was just a little more productive, and Craig ended up sharing fifth place as well.

Prez and Peps agreed to play their second round match today. Pepsi was on record as saying that he liked playing with Prez because he was almost guaranteed a freebie. As it turned out, it was Prez who scored a freebie after Pepsi left it short of the red markers on the 12th. Despite this aberration, the match was pretty closely fought, although Pepsi never did get on the positive side of the square mark. It was still anybodies game after the 16th, with Rob one hole up and two to play. On the 17th, Rob used his trusty chipper to break Pepsi’s heart when he chipped in for a birdie. The win for Rob finished the match with a score-line of two up to Rob.

It was ex-Captain Matt’s day today, as he was able to close out all comers with a very smart shot onto the top deck of the 18th, to collect his second BallPin for the day. The ProPin was on the 12th, and Steve was the first and only cab on the rank with his shot to 2.605m for a nice little dividend from the larger field.

Which way?
Guess which direction to the green!

Ken also contributed to the thirst quenching today when his shot from the 8th tee was less than spectacular. Apparently, he found a streak of form in the closing stages of the round, and there were suggestions that the handicapper should take a look at him ‘on suspicion’. Steve was pretty happy with his game today (not only due to the ProPin win). He did go a bit astray on the 6th, and the direct path to the green needed threading a needle between trees. Wisely deciding to play safe out onto the fairway, Steve still managed to hit a tree. After his first ball went OOB on the 3rd, Harry played his penalty shot, and you will never guess where the ball came to rest. With nowhere to go for a fifth shot, a pick-up was the only option.

The barbecue burgers and snags were expertly cooked by Matt and his team of chefs, while SOS revelled in the compliments for his selection of viands. The weather wasn’t sufficiently autumnal to discourage the wasps and at least one member was lucky to notice one on his burger before taking a bite. After everybody was suitably stuffed with tucker, the results were announced and the trophy wasn’t presented. With no trophy cabinet on site, and Gordon firmly ensconced ‘up the river’, there was just a little oversight to make sure that it was available. Apologies to Charlie and Rodger from the outgoing Committee.

The AGM was then held, with the appropriate reports being made and approved. Nominations for Committee positions were announced, and, in the absence of any (serious) nominations from the floor, those nominated were duly elected. President – Rob Priems, Vice-President – Andrew Petricola, Secretary – Craig Cameron, Treasurer – Gordon Hill, Assistant Treasurer – Stephen O’Sullivan, Captain – Brendon Mitchell, Handicapper – Harry Boughen, Assistant Handicapper – Michael Gourlay, Tee Marshal – Adam King.

Results for Saturday, 23 Mar 2024
1st Charles Gibbs (38, 40, 78) 2nd Rajesh Mahto (38, 36, 74) 3rd Brendon Mitchell (38, 31, 69) 3rd Ryan Porker (37, 32, 69) 4th Bob McDonald (34, 34, 68) 5th Harry Boughen (38, 28, 66) 5th Craig Cameron (34, 32, 66)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (34,34,68) 2nd Craig Cameron (34,32,66) 2nd Harry Boughen (38,28,66) 3rd Ken Watson (29,31,60)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Steven Gervasoni BallPin No 1 – 7th Matt Hunt BallPin No 2 – 18th Matt Hunt

There were four green bottles….. on 16 March 2024

Standing, not hanging.
…. and if one green bottle should accidentally fall…..

Summer continues to make a last-ditch stand to bring some warmer weather, although Autumn does tend to run his icy fingers through the morning air. A couple of the short sleeve brigade made comment on the fact before tee time, though the lighter clothing would have been welcome later in the day. The course is generally dry, and there was plenty of run to be had on most fairways. The greens had been well watered, and the dewy conditions persisted until well into the round. And, there was plenty of brushing needed on the leafier parts of the course. With a couple of ins and outs, we ended up with sixteen players, including Rodger for his annual pilgrimage to Ivanhoe to take part in Stuart’s rounds.

Harry started out with a par (in regulation) which can sometimes be a bad omen, and the second proved a bit of a struggle to score a point. Then it looked as if it might have been an omen for good when he reached the turn with 21 points on the card. The back nine was not quite so speccy, but there was a very respectable 38 points to present to the judges at the end of the round. Charlie took a couple of holes to collect his first par, but they continued to drop at a fairly respectable rate, and the points kept adding up. Twenty on the front was followed closely by eighteen on the back, and he too presented a card showing thirty-eight points. Raj started out steadily enough, and looked as if he was really going to hit the straps when he scored consecutive birdies on the 4th and 5th holes. A mini slump at the end of the nine had him make the turn with 19 points on the card. He scored another birdie on the 13th (no mean feat) by playing a blind shot over the hazard on the left to be suitably surprised to find it on the green. His three birdies helped us to a grand total of 11 for the day. Brendon didn’t quite bomb the distances that he did last week, but he did manage quite a few ‘stingers’ on his way to his total of 38 points as well. He did express the view that he would like to be able to hit that sort of shot on demand. His front nine produced 22 points from a one over score off the stick, but he joined Harry in a slight fade out on the back and only managed sixteen points to bring his total to thirty-eight as well.

Ryan played a very steady round, and if it hadn’t been for a couple of aberrations, he could easily have led the field. His drive on the 6th had a fair bend to the right, and despite a thorough search, it was deemed to have made it into the hazard, which made it just too difficult to score. On the 14th, he abandoned his set-up to take one of the snakes that were on offer, and then proceeded to whack it out of bounds. Harry vehemently denies that it was a ploy to upset his rhythm. Thirty-seven points is, however, an ideal spot to be able to strike from behind in next week’s round. Craig plugged along pretty steadily, but the card was punctuated by just a few too many singletons, and the three pointers were not all that prominent. A pair of seventeens was enough to slot into third place. Bobbie also produced a pair of seventeens to be right up there with Craig, and still be well-placed to take the trophy with just a little improvement next week.

Pepsi started off on the right foot with a birdie on the first, and he followed that up with another one on the 4th. However, the singletons (and one uncharacteristic gash) made all the difference, and, at the end of the day, Peps could only manage 33 points, which was enough to make fourth place in the field after Round 1. Dan continues to show signs of his potential as he gets used to the vagaries of the Ivanhoe course. Possibly, he is also benefiting from ‘second hand’ lessons from Charlie, who has obviously benefitted from a session (or two?) with ProShop Chris. SOS reckons that Prez should be paying him a retainer for finding his lost balls. For the second week in a row, SOS has found a ball with ‘PREZ’ plastered all over it. Whether this contributed to the fade-out on the back nine is not clear, but, during the round, Prez was heard to say that if he could keep it together he would be right up there. Unfortunately, the six point turn around between front and back, placed him at the back of the front-runners rather than the front of the front-runners. Still, just six points behind the pace is no reason to despair.

The ProPin was set for the 4th hole, and the tee was fairly well forward. Raj went out in the first group, and fretted all day that somebody would beat his shot to 1.84m. Brendon had called it for Harry after his low running shot was right ‘on the money’ (with a favourable bounce or two along the way), but the distance was just beyond the length required. Raj needn’t have worried. Nobody else worried his distance, and he collected the dosh on offer (eventually, after SOS awarded him a ball instead). The first BallPin was on the 15th, and StanB was the man to beat for this one. And, nobody could. The BallPin on the 18th almost went begging, but Brendon played the last shot of the day to get it onto the dance-floor for a chance at the ProShop ProPin as well. He was disappointed to miss the birdie by a bee’s.

SOS went for the green on the 17th, and actually made it onto the green, but with a longish putt for the eagle. The putt was true, but maybe a tad fast, as it hit the pin and stayed out. Easy birdie though. Rodger didn’t quite find his form today, but he did play a memorable shot from the 15th tee. The ball headed hard left, out of bounds for all money. The ball found some woodwork that it hit dead centre and launched itself high into the air and back over Rodger’s head to land on the slope of the tee mound and finish by the 14th green. Steve has had a little break from golf and made his come-back today. While he didn’t exactly set the world on fire, he did give the ball a good scare on the 8th tee where it is unclear whether the club actually touched the ball or whether it was the slip-stream that caused it to move a few millimetres to one side. Draughtie/Airie, his playing group didn’t mind which, as long as he paid up.

Don’t forget to register for next week. All welcome for a game, a barbecue (we need numbers for catering) and the AGM. Not too late to submit a late nomination for a Committee position if there is a role that you fancy turning your hand to.

Results for Saturday, 16 Mar 2024
Leaderboard Round 1: 1st Harry Boughen (38) 1st Charles Gibbs (38) 1st Rajesh Mahto (38) 1st Brendon Mitchell (38) 2nd Ryan Porker (37) 3rd Craig Cameron (34) 3rd Bob McDonald (34) 4th Andrew Petricola (33) 5th Dan Marie (32) 5th Robert Priems (32)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Harry Boughen (38) 2nd Bob McDonald (34) 2nd Craig Cameron (34) 3rd Ken Watson (29)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Rajesh Mahto BallPin No 1 – 15th Stan Blackshaw BallPin No 2 – 18th Brendon Mitchell

The new Priemsy

Charles Gibbs with brothers Priems after 42 points for the win on 9 March 2024
Charles the new Priemsy in celebration mode

After this week’s round, don’t be surprised if Charles turns up in ads for the services of Club Pro Chris. After a lesson from Chris recently, Charlie stepped up to the first tee with confidence, blasted it way past the usual “Charlie bush”, chipped in for a par and then blitzed the rest of the course for 42 points and the win. And in the “what ifs” column was a short missed birdie putt on the 17th and a wipe on the 18th, so 45 points was there for the taking until those mishaps.

Along the way, Charlie’s eclectic score improved by 7 shots and he rocketed from 14th to 4th in that contest. Raj is still in the lead with Porks (who moved from 3rd to 2nd) and Adam the nearest chasers.

Reports suggested that Charles did have a few lucky “Priemsy” bounces off or through trees today. His playing partners Prez and CJ were sufficiently impressed to anoint him as the new Priemsy. The Assistant Apprentice Handicapper was pleased to chop Charles’ handicap by four as we head into next week’s first round of the Stuart Clarke Memorial.

Coming off a net 93 at Growling Frog last week (yes I did say net) in his 1,100th game for the club (yes I did say 1,100 – next best is Bobby and Targe in the 900’s) CJ celebrated with a round of 40 points, which on another week might have been good enough for better than second place. “Just good solid consistent play all day mate, nothing special” suggested CJ when asked for his highlights. His win in the Seniors has Michael and Harry looking over their shoulders.

Brendon has also been getting some lessons recently (a mystery on-line instructor). Among other highlights of his third place 38 points he hit what SoS described as some “big balls out there”. Off the 13th his drive was measured at 315 metres and on the 16th he was about 20 metres from the green off the tee (I think Chris J once got closer with his 5 Wood off the 16th but a good gorilla effort from Brendan nonetheless).

Raj kept his handicap intact (again) with 36 points and a fourth place finish. Wipes on the 13th and 14th cruelled his chances of higher honours but a four point birdie on the 17th, one of 9 birdies across the field today, had him smiling again.

The morning was not as hot or windy as predicted, but nonetheless there was plenty of steam coming out of Michael’s ears as the missed putts and duffed chips starting adding up on the front nine. He steadied on the back enough to claim fifth place with 35 points, but more importantly sneak another point ahead of Harry in the Seniors Championship. Much to Michael’s disappointment, Harry’s 29 points were good enough for a third place seniors point. Stan, Craig and Blighty, hang your head in shame.

SoS’s 34 points was deemed a very creditable 6th place (but very sadly no points for SoS) especially after coming back from a wipe on the first hole. His first 3 pointer of the day came on the 4th where he hit it nearly out of bounds off the tee, chunked it out of the rough way short, then hit another chip that was going well through the green, but it hit the pin and dropped in.

Blighty’s playing partners enjoyed a beer after the round courtesy of his effort off the 15th. With the tee as far back as it could possibly be, it was always going to be a likely beer hole. Blighty very hopefully walked past the red markers looking for his ball, found two others there, but then much to the delight of his thirsty playing partners (it was getting hot by then) his ball was finally located behind the reds.

Prez Priems, who managed exactly half the winners score today to bring up the rear of the field, was seen looking in the Yarra for his drive off the 14th tee, having cleared the 16th fairway and some. The wind had got up by that stage and no doubt was a factor in that spectacular effort.

Stan and Craig only just beat Prez home for equal second last. Stan has finally finished the renovations in Castlemaine so with that distraction over and done with, he can be expected to be back in form very soon.

Not surprisingly, Craig struggled a bit today to back up from his big “first up from a spell” effort last week. Michael was already writing the blog headline “Craig missed a fairway” when his shot on the 2nd was slightly off line to the left. It very unluckily hit a cross branch and somehow came straight back about 50 metres.

Porks also struggled to back up from his big win last week. Charlie’s mate Dan started well with a par on the 2nd and another on the 7th, but couldn’t sustain his run on the back 9. Like Stan, back Dan in for some big results sometime soon.

Craig showed some “old reliable” form off the 7th tee to claim the first nearest the pin ball, with Michael saving his best shot of the day to reach the top tier on the 18th and claim the ball there. Michael also took out the $13 on offer for the Pro-pin on the 12th after hitting a skinny seven iron that skidded forward after bouncing. Brendan’s wedge in there landed closer to the hole but sucked back out of the money. Shame that.

Finally, please note the all important Club Annual General Meeting (AGM) has been postponed a week to now be on the 23rd of March, the second round of the Stuart Clarke Memorial. There will also be a club BBQ that day, so put it in your diary to stay late (or if you’re not playing just come on down) and share some off-course fun.

Results for Saturday, 09 Mar 2024
1st Charles Gibbs (42) 2nd Chris Priems (40) 3rd Brendon Mitchell (38) 4th Rajesh Mahto (36) 5th Michael Gourlay (35)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (40) 2nd Michael Gourlay (35) 3rd Harry Boughen (29)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Michael Gourlay BallPin No 1 – 7th Craig Cameron BallPin No 2 – 18th Michael Gourlay

Wake up, Captain Curlyhead on 02 March 2024.

Porks got balls
I should sleep in more often!

Eleven members made it to the eighteenth today after a number of uncertainties had been sorted out. Ken got told he was doing other things, Raj made a late bid to get his name registered, Porks slept through the alarm, Craig wasn’t sure that he was up for eighteen, and Stan had to dash off to work on his other house. The conditions were pretty mild but overcast, and it did make a bit of a shower at the half-way mark. Hardly worth bothering reaching for the umbrella, although a few did. The course is definitely drying out, and the trees are shedding leaves at a furious rate, which can make spotting a ball an interesting exercise. A bit of a breeze sprang up from time to time, but nothing that a low penetrating shot couldn’t counteract. That is, if anybody can pull such a thing off. Despite the apparently benign conditions, we could only manage two birdies for the day.

There was a desperate ‘Put me in the last group’ text from Porks as the rest of the field milled around the registration desk. It is unclear whether any traffic rules were breached on the way, but the lad was able to make it to the tee before the first group had even hit off. The rush to get there obviously had little effect on his nerves or his concentration, as he rattled off six pars in the first seven holes, and finished the front nine just two strokes over the card. Another five pars and a birdie on the back produced a three over for that nine, and that included a power shank (he is a leftie) into Birrarung from the 17th tee to make the only real blemish on the card. The net sixty-six was more than enough to take the day, and to join the ranks of the select few who have won a Medal this year (as Gordo was wont to point out!).

Craig presented to the starter for the first time in quite a while due to some health problems. He had a little bit of a whinge about having to play off his old handicap after a break of nine months. He did admit to having been to the driving range during the week. The early gossip on the course was the ‘Old Reliable’ was back, although there were a few doubles sprinkled through the card. There were also a good sprinkling of pars, including one on the 6th. The third shot hit a tree that saved it from a worse fate, while the fourth carried through the green. It just required a hole-out from off the green to seal the deal. Charlie did overcome his nemesis of the first tee, and managed to make it past the shrubbery only to find the trees, but not his ball. Undaunted, he made par on the second, which is no mean feat from a tee placed about as far back as it was possible to be placed. The need for ‘cut lunches’ was mentioned in passing. At the end of it all, Charlie was pretty pleased with his day’s work when he finished with a net score of 69, and he got to share second place with Craig.

Bob missed
Will you just look at that!

Raj and Targe played in the same group, but there was no suggestion that there had been any collusion leading to the fact that they both finished on net 72 to take out 3rd place for the day. Raj put together a bit of a mixed bag of scores, with just enough outliers to deny him a much better placing. Targe was similarly just a bit too erratic to have scored better, but he did manage a birdie on the 16th, which surely must have involved some sort of story, but it was kept well under wraps. As SOS wrote down the results, he cheered every announcement of a tied score, as his chances of scoring a point increased. In the end, he scored two points for 4th place with a score of 73, from a round that he described as being awful. Not as awful as some, however. Bob had his moments again today. Possibly, it was because he turned up without his glasses, just one of a list of things that made him wonder at the wisdom of even turning up. And, it was not a meteorite that caused the crater behind his tee and moved the ball a few centimetres. Despite this little set-back, Bob still managed to produce a net 77, and he was quite happy to accept the point on offer for fifth place.

The first BallPin was on the 12th today, and Daniel, playing his first competition round today, put in a good bid, only to be ousted by Porks, who managed to get it closer in. Ryan tried to make a real day of it when he added his name to the Jackpot ProPin on the 15th, although he was barely inside the required limit. However, he hadn’t counted on Old Reliable, who made a cracking shot to just 2.26m and collected the money despite protests that he hadn’t contributed for so long. Dan also had hopes of doubling up when he made the green on the 18th. This time he was successful, and held out to collect a ball on his first outing with us.

Although he has flown the coop, the Birthday Birdie wants to wish ChrisJ all the best for the event in the coming week, as well as for his new adventure up north.

Dan is a mate of Charlie, but did he really have to try to imitate Charlie on the first tee? Fortunately, the ball had enough altitude to escape the shrubbery and carry on down the hill. There is a warning out to keep all sharp cutting implements away from Gordo after the highlight of his round was a par on the 8th that resulted from three ‘lousy’ shots and a ‘putt’ from off the green. While we are on the 8th, Porks had his ball nicely positioned on the green. SOS chipped onto the green, his ball rolled along and struck Porks’ ball. Then it was Bob’s turn. His chip landed nicely, rolled on and also struck Porks’ ball. The question was, where exactly was the original location of the ball? Harry had a bit of tree trouble on the 11th and went close to taking his own head off when his second, after a tree had delivered it by the 10th green, found another tree and the ball whistled back over his head to finish behind him. And we won’t mention roosters and feather dusters!

Prez is sporting some new facial adornment as he endeavours to cultivate a more mature look as he prepares to enter the Senior ranks next season. The only report about Bob’s buggy this week was the fact that he lost the jockey wheel on the first, but it was found while searching for his ball, so neither was lost. Dan found himself in the drain beside the path up from the 13th green and opted to play it as it lay. Not the most successful outcome as the ball ran further down the path and finished in the drain once more. This time he took relief and the shot was slightly more successful, but barely past the chain barrier beside the path. After finishing at the bottom of the slope, he ‘slammed’ the putt home for a triple. But, if it had missed…??

Don’t forget, Matchplay is under way. Please talk to one another and play your matches, Round 1 or Round 2. Two weeks to the AGM, so keep those Committee nominations rolling in. Club Captain and Vice-President are needed, but all positions are open for contest. A bit of new blood never did any harm.

Results for Saturday, 02 Mar 2024
1st Ryan Porker (66) 2nd Craig Cameron (69) 2nd Charles Gibbs (69) 3rd Rajesh Mahto (72) 3rd Targe Mifsud (72) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan (73) 5th Bob McDonald (77)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (69) 2nd Targe Mifsud (72) 3rd Bob McDonald (77)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Craig Cameron BallPin No 1 – 12th Ryan Porker BallPin No 2 – 18th Dan Marie