There was movement at the 'Hoe course.
For the word had got around,
That the points to set the Champ,
Were still in play.

As the number of double doughnut days continue to mount, the general populace is getting more and more excited about what exactly the next round of restriction easing might be. Top of the wish-list would appear to be a relaxation of the face-mask rule but, there are some who would prefer to be safe than sorry as well as having consideration for the health and safety of others.

The weather continues to be fine and warming up but still nice enough for a really enjoyable for a game of golf. We managed to get 21 of our members onto the tees this morning and young Kazim joined us once more to submit his third card. He managed to show that he has not lost too much form during his recent lay-off, and he carded a 71 off the beater today. This included an eagle on the 14th after driving it to pin high and following up with a very handy chip-in. Unfortunately, it does not count for the Eagle’s Nest. Maybe next week! His eventual handicap of 9 from his three cards looks too generous by far.

On the face of it, with the weather showing a benign face and, with the course well mowed and the greens in tip-top condition, there was absolutely no reason not to turn in a good score today. And, it took Gordon to show the field exactly how it was done. It was a case of playing mostly to your handicap and taking advantage of the occasional opportunity that offered itself. A couple of blemishes, with the minimum amount of pencil lead expended in the result column on the back nine, prevented the score-line being rather more than the +3 that resulted.

Stefan was probably hoping to ‘Mo’ down the field, but he might just have to wait until later in the month when the face-fuzz has made more of an impression. He also had a couple of pen saving results on the back nine and improving those could have converted the result from his +2 into a winner. Simon managed to mark his card on the wrong side but, at least, he did point it out to the handicapper. And, it pretty much guaranteed that he was not recycling his card from Thursday.

Harry was also carrying a ‘burden’ from Thursday but it didn’t seem to faze him too much. He even gave the spot where the flag on the 7th had been on Thursday a bit of a nudge but, the ground-staff had moved the hole to another part of the green. The last three holes turned a potential winner into a fourth placer with a net result at square. MattH, on the other hand, stayed pretty much square the whole round to join in on the points on offer. Damo looked like having a bit of a shocker when he was five down after six. Getting back to square was quite a fine effort from there. Chrispy, of the shining dome, turned up with a minus 1. He was joined by Michael who has come back after quite a long break. Michael did admit to having had a couple of rounds and so did not come back completely cold.

With one more round to play in this year’s competition, there are six players with a mathematical possibility of slotting into one of the top three spots in the main Championship so the competition next week will undoubtedly be fierce. In the Seniors, there are five members in a similar situation if we discount Dennis, who is probably unlikely to make it back to take part. In the Eclectic, three players can take the trophy with a birdie and there are another couple within an eagle (or a couple of birdies). And, while on the topic of birdies, Bob fell just short of acing the 18th to win the BallPin and tapped in for his birdie to add to the other 16 that were scored today. The other BallPin was on the 15th and that was taken out by Zimmer. The ProPin today was on the 12th but the recipient claims that he didn’t know what he had won. Blighty, if you have to measure the distance (2.3m by the way), it is the ProPin. As an interesting aside, the other name on all of the nearest the pin chits was Michael.

There are a couple of milestones to mark today. Keith lined up for his 400th game with the Club. Keith doesn’t think he will catch up to Chrispy though. The Birthday Birdie has a good wish for Daniel who will, undoubtedly, be cooking up something special later in the week.

The Matchplay Championship was played out today with a match between Pepsi and Dave. From a handicap point of view, there was only one stroke in it and it promised to be a corker of a match. And the match was generally a very close run thing with Pepsi struggling to hold on to his early advantage. It could very well have been the flat stick that was the telling difference between the two. The match eventually went dormie 2 at the 16th and a loss at 17 gave the match and the Championship to Pepsi 3 and 1. One of the events of the round was when Pepsi’s ball went missing on the 10th fairway near the first, where it was strongly suspected that it had been ‘picked up/played,’ a fact denied by the potential perpetrators. On the 11th, a ball appeared from the second that just happened to be the same make and number and with the same markings as Pepsi’s missing ball. What Dave said to the culprit doesn’t bear repeating but the look on his face was apparently priceless. The win propelled Pepsi right into the action at the top of the main Championship table.

Brendon was plagued by a bit of an attack of the shanks, including a beauty from the tee on the 12th straight into the penalty area (aka water hazard). A tank shank you might say. On the 13th, Peter put his drive behind a tree on the 10th fairway and then played a ‘brilliant’ shot that headed across the 13th, curved around over the left hand hazard, bounced around the bank and ran down the hill to finish just off the green. It is suspected that this was not exactly the shot that Pete had envisaged. Gordo also shanked his second on the 8th into the billabong but, like the real trouper that he is, he put the next shot just short of the green and chipped in from there for a square on the hole.

Blighty was overheard wondering what he might do with the cash that he had collected from the ProPin. Perhaps he could buy himself some balls as he was also overheard saying that he had ‘only’ lost three today, including two on the 17th. Rob’s rough trot does not seem to have been alleviated by a week off and he really struggled on the front nine, weaving something of a zig-zag course. This performance included a draughtie on the 3rd. Hopefully things have turned a corner for our esteemed President as he managed to play to his handicap on the back nine.

Arrangements for the break-up are still a bit up in the air until we know more about what will be allowed in terms of gathering sizes and locations. The committee will finalise decisions on the event early next week and will advise shortly afterwards. Also, don’t forget that next Saturday is the last round for this competition year and will be a stroke round for the December Monthly Medal. It will also be the first round of our Club Stroke Championship which will extend over the following two weeks of the Vin O’Meara. The VOM marks the beginning of the new Championship so everything to turn up for.

Results for Saturday, 21 November 2020
1st Gordon Hill(+3) 2nd Stefan Belevski(+2) 3rd Simon Powell(+1) 4th Harry Boughen(□) 4th Matt Hunt(□) 4th Damien Lee(□) 5th Michael Gourlay(-1) 5th Chris Priems(-1)

Seniors Results: 1st Gordon Hill (+3) 2nd Simon Powell (+1) 3rd Harry Boughen (□)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin12th Andrew Blight BallPin No 1 15th Kazim Akdag BallPin No 2 18th Bob McDonald

---

There have been lots of things attributed to the effect of the lockdown ranging from increased domestic violence, to increased alcohol consumption, to declining mental health. Maybe we can add declining mathematical ability to that list, if the length of time that some pairs took to finalise their cards and the number of adjustments to number of points due are any guide. You certainly couldn’t blame the weather, with a fairly calm and cool to balmy day being just about perfect for a round (of golf). Our numbers, at 23 players, were just a little down on recent weeks but the raising of the ‘ring of steel’ and the need to prepare for holiday season probably helped to keep a few members otherwise occupied.

The course was in tip-top condition and some were confidently predicting that a score in the forties would be needed to collect the top points. However, the consensus, during and after the round, was that the greens were fast for chipping but slow for putting which seems a bit of a contradiction in terms but the thought did come from a number of independent sources.

Now, whether it was one of the perceived effects of lockdown, there was a suggestion that SOS possibly should not have been in charge of a motor vehicle on his way to the course. And, by the third hole, he was in need of an urgent source of relief, which, mercifully for his playing partners, was close at hand. His game certainly picked up more than somewhat after the 4th hole. But, he was obviously able to keep his head down and brought home a card showing a handicap equalling 36 points with 21 of them on the back nine. Brent started out well but then faltered a bit, got it back together, faltered a bit, got it back together etc, etc. Finally making it to the line with the same tally as SOS and taking a share of the top points for the day.

Damo was a bit unsure how to tackle the first off the new tee ground, but stuck with his choice of driver and took on the direct path over the trees. On the second he took on the trees again but, this time, he managed to get caught in one and the ball hit timber about five or six times before it eventually decided to drop to the ground. The handicapper is beginning to think that there should be a new limit to the size of handicap allowed, at 18, given the number of people who seem to ‘forget’ which holes they get multiple strokes on. Among the culprits today were Bob and Ken who managed to get themselves ‘promoted’ into a share of second place with Damo for a score of 35 points.

Harry played the back nine during the week and hoped that he had been able to ‘bottle’ it after a PB total of 36 off the stick. Unfortunately, the flat stick, in particular, did not quite cooperate to the same degree, and a total for the round of 34 was the best on offer. Craig claimed that there was nothing to report on his game or that of his companions, just average golf, in other words. ChrisV, on the other hand, made good use of the trees, in some cases for good and, in some cases, for evil. Thus, the good, the evil and the average succeeded in also scoring 34 points to share the third podium spot.

Simon also had some good nines during the week, and he was hoping that he might be able to recycle the cards for today’s event. The handicapper was right onto him though, and so he had to do the right thing and submit his real card with 33 points on the bottom line. JQ hasn’t been practising during the week, but he still managed a nice steady game with just a few too many slipping through to the keeper and preventing a significantly better tally. Porks managed to shrug off a putt missed from about 300mm on the 5th hole to score a single point and to narrow the gap ever so slightly between he and Noodles at the top of the Championship table. The game is afoot! Daniel picked up a ‘forgotten’ point to drag himself into a share of fifth place.

And, while on the subject of Daniel, there was a lot (of dosh) riding on the ProPin at the 15th hole today. There were some close, but no cigar, until Daniel smashed one to 1.38m to remove almost any hope for the rest of the field. As if to console himself for missing that ‘one-footer’ and for scoring only one point, Porks took it upon himself to take out both of the BallPin competitions on the 12th and the 18th. Neither of them resulted in birdies, and so he did not add to the tally of eight for the day. Pepsi did contribute by getting a birdie on the 9th, although it was a little on the unconventional side. His drive finished in the middle of the 18th, and so he had to pitch over the trees and sink the putt to get there. Which he did with the greatest aplomb.

Peter did not have a great day of it, and that was exemplified by his tee shot from the 10th that finished on the cart path from the first. MattA also struggled a bit and his game can be best summarised by the fact that he ‘scored’ a draughtie with his second tee shot after the first went OOB. The ‘unofficial rules’ committee were scratching their heads over that one. Our other Matt(H), when asked how it went, responded that he only comes to play on Medal days. Bob is still having problems keeping his cart under control. He reckons, sometimes his reflexes are too fast and sometimes they are too slow and, sometimes it has a mind of its own and heads off when he doesn’t even have the controller on him.

Brendon was playing the 10th on the 13th and, wisely, decided to move back out of the firing line as Dale smacked it down. The further back that Brendon went, the further round Dale’s ball followed, with Damo urging it on from behind. It is unclear whether this ‘near death’ experience caused Brendon’s next shot to pop up into a tree and plop, ignominiously, into the pond. It did result in one of several gashes.

Results for Saturday, 14 November 2020
1st Brent Rowley(36) 1st Stephen O’Sullivan(36) 2nd Damien Lee(35) 2nd Bob McDonald(35) 2nd Ken Watson(35) 3rd Harry Boughen(34) 3rd Craig Cameron(34) 3rd Chris Vinecombe(34) 4th Simon Powell(33) 4th John Quinlan(33) 5th Daniel O’Rourke(32) 5th Ryan Porker(32)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (35) 2nd Craig Cameron (34) 2nd Harry Boughen (34) 3rd Simon Powell (33)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin15th Daniel O’Rourke BallPin No 1 12th Ryan Porker BallPin No 2 18th Ryan Porker

---

It started out as a day like any other. The sun came up in the east. The weather was nice and the traffic was not too heavy at that time of the morning. Drivel was still issuing from the White House but that has been going on for four years now, so nothing unusual there. Another bumper crowd of 27 players had signed up for the fray to contest the next to last Medal for the current, somewhat unusual, year of golf.

There was nothing at all unusual about this round of golf though. That is, until Noodles stepped up onto the 7th tee and took out his trusty 5 iron. Despite a certain amount of chiacking from Brendon he whacked it down, straight as an arrow bisecting the pin the whole way, a couple of bounces on the green and the ball rolled ever so gently into the hole for the golfer’s dream, a Hole in One. Although, Noods didn’t quite believe it until JQ trotted back to the green and confirmed the the ball was actually in the hole, as the photo attests. Despite what it said on last week’s Handicap Sheet, there were actually only four balls in the Eagles Nest when the shutdown was taken into account. But, despite collecting the Eagles Nest as well as the HIO, Noodles was then trying to claim that the 7th was really where the ProPin was supposed to be.

But, the day didn’t go entirely Noodles way. His ‘oner’ did help him to come in with a net score of 65 which, you would have to think was in there with a fair chance of winning the day. However, MattH had other ideas and pulled a birdie out of somewhere (possibly starting with ‘a’) on the last to come in with a net 65 also. Now, the thing is, both were on 10 handicap, both obviously had the same off the stick for the round and, coincidentally, both had the same totals on both nines. And so, the count-back had to go to the last six holes to separate the ‘twins’ and get a result for Matty to take out the Monthly Medal.

Now, in the scheme of things CJ was supposed to have come in second place. Unfortunately, there was a slight matter of addition involved in the total of strokes taken on the front nine that threw the cat among the pigeons and it was Pepsi who eased his way into second place. Perhaps it was the difficulty in adding up the strokes for brother Rob that caused the distraction on this little matter. This still left Chrispy to tie in third place with Whitey with their net 70 strokes. And Chris scored another win in the Seniors, so he is making something of a burst to the line in that competition.

Gordo managed to garner fourth place on his own with 71 while there was a fair swag of players lining up for the last point on offer with Harry, Craig, David and Simon in the mix.

Despite Noodles’ wish for the ProPin to be on the 7th, it was again on the 15th after jack-potting last week. With the white tees set well back, the task proved too difficult again this week so there will be a double Jackpot up for grabs next week. If the numbers keep rolling up as they have been, it will be a very nice pot indeed. The first BallPin was set on the 4th and, although the tree caught a few passing balls, there were a couple of contenders on the green and MattH made a bit of a day of it by claiming the ball. On the 18th, for the second BallPin, Jake put in a very nice shot to collect the ball but probably spoiled the effort a little by taking three putts to finish the hole.

Perhaps Jake was feeling a little deflated after his match against Dave. The match looked a bit like being a walkaway in the early stages despite Dave having to give no less than 24 strokes to Jake. Once again, after the front nine, the fat lady could have been forgiven for loosening up her tonsils in anticipation. Apparently unfazed by having been as much a 5 down after eight holes, Jake put up an almighty fight to win four on the trot and possibly have a sniff of pulling off the turn-around of the year. Unfortunately, the run came to an end just a little too soon and Dave pulled away to take the match 4 and 3. The champion now has to be decided by a match that promises to be a thriller between Pepsi and Dave while Blighty and Jake will fight it out for second runner-up.

There were a couple of draughties today. One of them was down to Blighty who had the temerity to blame the positioning of the red markers for his misfortune. Plus, he didn’t have a card and had to prevail upon MattH to buy the ‘draughts’ in exchange for actual money. The other one was scored by Jake, which might have contributed to his eventual demise in the match under way.

There were a few other birdie stories today. One was down to JQ, who managed one on the 9th by sinking a putt that was estimated to be 20m if it was an inch. Harry’s claim to fame was that he had scored two birdies but only one par in his round. But, it was a bit of a day for our feathery friends, and we tallied 18 in total which is one of our better strike rates in recent times.

Keith had some problem with his battery that caused him to abandon his bag and most of his clubs at the 17th tee. He completed the round with three clubs and his putter and seemed to do as well as he had with the bag-full. Blighty kept trying to play his tee shots from the blue markers, which was not that difficult as, except for one hole, they were never more than a couple of metres apart. Daniel is not known to hold back when he steps up to the tee even if it does mean that he is, often, on somebody else’s fairway. It came off, in a way, today when he drove the 11th with the ball finishing on the 12th tee ground.

Rob was in need of some sustenance to complete his round after he turned in one of the shockers of the year (or maybe ever). He pressed on to prove that he was no quitter and to reinforce the message that nobody else should be either. The curious thing is that they reckon he didn’t putt too badly. Go figure! Jake presented today sporting a haircut that only a mother could love. Done by a mate apparently. He also has some tatts, that he is reluctant to display, also done by a ‘mate’. Whitey is off on a sabbatical for the summer to try his luck with the flanneled fools.

The Birthday Birdie has been a bit remiss in recent times and best wishes today go to Craig and Mal. Our thoughts are with Mal as he does another round with his leukaemia and also with Trev who had a fall during the week.

Results for Saturday, 07 November 2020
1st Stephen Butterfield(65) 1st Matt Hunt(65) (c/b t6) 2nd Andrew Petricola(69) 3rd Chris Priems(70) 3rd Rodney White(70) 4th Gordon Hill(71) 5th Harry Boughen(72) 5th Craig Cameron(72) 5th David Mullenger(72) 5th Simon Powell(72)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (70) 2nd Gordon Hill (71) 3rd Craig Cameron (72) 3rd Harry Boughen (72) 3rd Simon Powell (72)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 4th Matt Hunt BallPin No 2 18th Jake Priems

Hole in One Results: Hole in One 7th *** Stephen Butterfield ***

What a difference a week makes! Although the sky looked a little on the threatening side, there was no rain and the course had dried out remarkably well so that there was even a bit of run to be had. Especially if you topped it something fierce and put plenty of top-spin on the ball as Noodles did on the 11th. He reckons he ‘rushed’ it, which is quite a feat given his normal speed of shot making. The prospect of not needing scuba gear and the fine weather brought out a total of 25 players, including Zimmer who is working diligently on getting in his three cards to reactivate his handicap. There were a couple of no-shows, including Targe who has managed to injure something but at least this time it didn’t involve falling through a roof. Look after yourself little fellah and we’ll see you back and at ’em soon.

It’s not often that somebody can walk onto the 12th tee secure in the knowledge that the worst score you could end with would be an even round. And, quite possibly, Harry and Noodles could have been forgiven for thinking that they were playing with the winner. Although, it wasn’t Dale who found himself in that unenviable position and he required three wins on the last four holes to put himself in a position to win the day with a very creditable score of plus five. In the whole round, he only lost two holes so very steady golf indeed.

After he had a par on the first, Brent opined that the only way from there was ‘down’. After three more pars and corresponding wins, he was still expressing the same view. By the eleventh, with seven wins under his belt, he probably started to ‘think’ about his game and the engine started to leak a bit of oil. Also, the supply of strokes ran a bit thin compared to the front with the result that the last six holes resulted in four losses, leaving him with a still more than respectable tally of plus four for the day. One thing that he did not lose sight of all day was how much he was going to enjoy letting Chrispy know how he was going in their little inter-family match.

Neither Stan nor Bob had much to say about their respective rounds other than that it was pretty boring as far a newsworthy events went. Daniel was pretty cautious about how he was going to go after such a long break from the game but he was heartened by the long straight drive that he managed to smack off the first tee. Despite mixing up the wins and losses, they all managed to come home with two wins to the good and gathered the points for third place in the main event. Stan and Bob, as a bonus, also collected the top points in the Seniors.

Harry offered that three putt greens had cost him dearly while Keith took at least nine holes to warm up but then really came home on a burst. Porks, on the other hand just played a nice steady hand and didn’t stray too far from being square with the card for the whole round with the result that he joined in for fourth place on +1. Peter and Simon were just a couple of squares, sharing the final podium spot for the day.

The first BallPin today was on the 12th hole. Gordon was in the first group and went oh so close to scoring that most elusive of golf’s challenges, the magical Hole in One. He reckoned that the ball was so close to the edge of the hole that he wasn’t game to put the ball marker in for fear of damaging the cut of the hole and blocking the chance of anybody else getting their HIO. The latter point rings true but the photo suggests that the former might be a bit of an exaggeration. The second BallPin was on the 18th and that was taken out by Pepsi who played a fine shot to prevent Gordo from collecting two balls on the day. The ProPin on the 15th was not won and there will be a nice little Jackpot to next week. And, while on the subject of balls, please ignore the total in the Eagle’s Nest for the moment as the count kept going through the shutdown and a correction is required.

The first semi-final of the Matchplay was fought out today between Pepsi and Blighty. Blighty started off well enough and looked as if he might give Pepsi a run for his money with the benefit of the sixteen strokes that he received. A bit of a rot set in and by the end of the front nine the fat lady was heard in the background loosening up her vocal chords. However, AndrewB kept his head down and fought on to have some hope of turning things around until his draughtie on the 15th made the match dormie 3 and a square on the 16th gave the result to AndrewP, 3 and 2.

After MattH’s performance in the wet last week, this week the track proved just a little too firm for his liking. Or, maybe, like one of his horses, he strained some sort of ligament. Not satisfied with playing conditions on our course, he took a three wood from the fairway on the 8th and it was estimated that the ball would have finished on Kew Golf Course across the river. Ken reckons he has just carried on from where he left off and spoiled a series of bad shots by putting in the occasional good one. On the positive side, it is mango season again!

They reckon that it is your short game that fails you first and there were numerous reports of fluffed chips. There were even a number of cases of double strikes which elicited some sighs of relief that this was no longer a sin requiring the penance of a penalty shot. Probably the shot of the day would have to be down to Whitey who found himself on the next fairway while playing the second with trees between him and the green. Did he opt for the ever reliable putter? No way. He pitched it over the trees, onto the green and into the hole from 75 metres out. To score a miss!

For some reason, the menu button on mobiles has ceased to work. This is possibly due to some recent software upgrades that are out of our control and may take a little time to work around. In the meantime, you can access the registration page from the link (little blue ‘website’) in the ‘Next Week Details’ section of the home page or through the links in the Handicap Sheet email or the Facebook page. The on-line Handicap Sheet is accessible from a link further down the web page. For other things, unfortunately, for the time being you will have to revert to a larger format device.

Results for Saturday, 31 October 2020
1st Dale Webb(+5) 2nd Brent Rowley(+4) 3rd Stan Blackshaw(+2) 3rd Bob McDonald(+2) 3rd Daniel O’Rourke(+2) 4th Harry Boughen(+1) 4th Keith Delzoppo(+1) 4th Ryan Porker(+1) 5th Peter Damou(□) 5th Simon Powell(□)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (+2) 1st Stan Blackshaw (+2) 2nd Harry Boughen (+1) 2nd Keith Delzoppo (+1) 3rd Simon Powell (□)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 12th Gordon Hill BallPin No 2 18th Andrew Petricola