It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,…..and it was the age of pandemic. But time is running out for 2020, and with 2020 (rear) vision there is some chance that we will view the past year and the world in general in a completely different light. But, we have managed to scrape through it with our sanity pretty much intact and this was probably in no small part due to the fun and friendship that we all enjoyed through the year, interrupted as it was. The weather was pretty kind today although it did start off a little freshly and there was a desultory effort to dampen the ground, if not the spirits of the 21 members out on the course, before the sun came out and warmed things up enough to require removal of jerkins and jackets.

The main event of the day was the Stuart Clarke Champion of Champions and, although the field was somewhat reduced due to the reduced program and a couple of absences, there was quite a feeling in the field that it could be a close run thing with any one of the 10 starters likely to present to the judge. In the end, nine of the ten finished within five strokes but, at the end of the day, the honour went to Targe with a net score of 67. Targe just pipped MattH who had been Club-house leader all day with his net of 68.

The rest of the field battled it out for the Chump of Chumps and, just to prove that he is no chump, the best score in that field was presented by SOS. Now, SOS is fairly recently back from getting his hip fixed and reports that they also removed his ‘shanks’ seem to have been pretty well founded, with an exemplary back nine of 34 off the stick for 21 points and a total of 38 for the round.

That score was more than enough for SOS to also take out the top spot for the handicap round and to keep up his world-beating points scoring of 8 per round for the year so far. Craig (that’s what fairways are for) was also let off too lightly by the handicapper as he was able to break his again to nab second spot just a single point behind SOS on 37 points. This also matched the total that Targe produced from his winning stroke score. MattH and Ken (battle of the Centurions and he wasn’t talking Roman army, but he did forget one of his double stroke holes) shared the third placing honours.

Porks and Brent started out confidently but their mojo seems to have deserted them a little after the first nine. Perhaps they started to think too much about lunch and refreshments afterwards. Simon, on the other hand, took plenty of opportunities to bewail the pair of sevens that he managed to accumulate. But he did manage to accumulate 35 points and join up with the other two in fourth place. In actual fact, seven seemed to be a fairly popular score as four of the five players sharing fifth place had one on their card. Pepsi was the spoil-sport and didn’t join Harry, Noodles, Gordon and Bob with that distinction. And we won’t mention that Harry also had a nine.

The first BallPin was set for the 7th and, although this hole has had its moments in recent times, it looked as if it was going to resist all attempts to get a ball on the dance-floor. That is until along came Stan who, for a moment caused some breath holding on the tee as his ball looked to finish perilously close. Stan went close again on the 12th and was only a metre or so from the hole. He sank the putt for the birdie and contributed to the total of 13 that we managed for the day. The second BallPin on the ‘almost beer time’ 18th went down to Noodles. The ProPin was on the 15th and MattH managed to get it within the distance limit. We don’t know by how much because Brendon took the box home. In actual fact, Gordo put a shot from the tee much closer to the pin than Matt’s, the only problem was that it was his third shot after the first went wide and out of bounds.

Rob seems to be in the grip of a bit of a slump in form and he decided that, after nine holes, he might as well get himself a refresher. The sad news was that the bar was not yet open in the Club-house. So, he had to wait until after the 13th and, what do you know, like spinach to Popeye, the beer revived him and he parred the last three holes. He did break a club during the round but it was purely accidental when his follow through followed through too far and got caught up in a tree.

Brendon was well down in the lists today and one contributing factor was an airie for his second shot on the 17th as he tried to lob one over the trees after a less than stellar tee shot. But, he did have some tree help after a stray shot on the third was brought back into play by a ricochet. It seems that Pepsi might have had similar help on the same hole. It was even suggested that on the 7th, SOS bounced his drive off a tree on the left onto one on the right and the ball finished in the middle of the fairway.

After the round most of the field and a few others repaired to JQ’s place for our break-up lunch and Trophy Presentations. A great venue with plenteous food and refreshment made sure that everybody was well satisfied by the end of the day. A big shout out to JQ, Andrea, Christie et al for making the venue available and managing the catering to perfection. The trophy presentation went off almost without a hitch with Rob squinting to read the names on the trophies and Gordo tossing them as carefully as he could down to the recipients below. There was only one near disaster when Porks fumbled his trophy like an Indian fielder at the Adelaide Oval.

Results for Saturday, 19 December 2020
1st Stephen O’Sullivan(38) 2nd Craig Cameron(37) 2nd Targe Mifsud(37) 3rd Matt Hunt(36) 3rd Ken Watson(36) 4th Ryan Porker(35) 4th Simon Powell(35) 4th Brent Rowley(35) 5th Harry Boughen(34) 5th Stephen Butterfield(34) 5th Gordon Hill(34) 5th Bob McDonald(34) 5th Andrew Petricola(34)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (37) 1st Targe Mifsud (37) 2nd Ken Watson (36) 3rd Simon Powell (35)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin15th Matt Hunt BallPin No 1 7th Stan Blackshaw BallPin No 2 18th Stephen Butterfield

What a day! Thoughts of pandemic have drifted into the background for the time being and everybody is hopeful that the returning travellers can be kept under control so that we can continue to enjoy one another’s company without the impediments of face masks and so forth. The weather man was certainly very kind today with gentle breezes and not too much of the heat filtering down from the north. The course continues to be in fine fettle and there should have been very few excuses for not being able to score well. Conditions and the prospect of a fierce competition for the trophy was more than enough to attract a bevy of 28 members and two guests to take to the tees. We seem to have managed to squeeze the extra group in without too much trouble and the pace of the game was much improved. Keep up the good work everybody.

Next week is the Stuart Clarke Champion of Champions Tournament. The winners from the competition year will fight it out for the trophy in a stroke competition. The rest of the field will compete for the Chump of Chumps and everybody should keep their stableford scores to determine who gets the points for the day from the whole field. Please register for golf for the day. Also, if you have not registered for the break-up and plan to be there (even if you aren’t playing) please register for that as well so that we can finalise the exact numbers to be catered for.

Chrispy was on record as saying that this was the closest run field that he had ever seen for the Vin O’Meara in his long experience with the Club. There were a dozen or more potential contenders within five or six strokes of the lead, a not impossible turn around in our sort of field. In the end, we had a three way tie for first place and it required a count-back on today’s round to determine which of the three got to raise the victory cup. In the end, the result fell to Michael by half a stroke on the last nine holes. If we had needed a count-back to determine second and third we would have needed to go back to the last six holes to separate SOS and Craig. In that case SOS would have eased out Craig by one third of a stroke.

This created more than a little discussion when it came to dividing the spoils for the come-by-chance Calcutta on the result. The prospect of dividing the pool three ways was eased a bit by the fact that nobody had actually drawn Craig and so the third dividend was paid out on Brendon who, fortunately, slotted into second place on the table with his final tally of 132 strokes. His round was not without its moments after he managed to pull off a draughtie on the 7th leaving his drive a tantalising 400mm short of the red markers. Michael was more than happy to collect the dividend from the buy-your-self Calcutta.

Damo managed a pair of 69 (titter, titter) to drag himself up into a share of third place. Keith saved himself from the wrath of Gordo by staying just out of the Calcutta dividend range. Peter also played a slightly better hand to join in on 3rd spot.

CJ had a few moments today. Despite having to deal with lies such as this and despite nearly taking out Harry on his way to the 11th tee, he did manage to put in a good enough round to stay in the points with a share of 4th place. Porks did manage to avoid venturing into double figures (just) and held onto his grading from last week. JQ had a bit of the good and the bad but not quite so sure about the ugly. The good was a stray shot into a tree by the 16th heading towards the practice fairway that caught his ball and very conveniently tossed it back onto the green. This was countered by a draughtie on the 3rd. Pepsi produced another of a number of ‘pairs’ for the event to collect his first points for the year. Zimmer seems to have felt the pressure of leadership a little and slipped just enough to come in for a share of 5th.

Today was also the final round of the Club Stroke Championship and in the scratch event, Michael came out the winner with a grand total of 224 off the stick, comfortably in front of Pepsi who scored runner-up with 231. In the handicap event, Craig’s leading round for the day was enough to take out the trophy and to knock Harry off by 202 to 205 net strokes.

The first BallPin today was supposed to be on the 15th but ‘somebody’ forgot to put out the marker so a no contest was declared much to the chagrin to Brendon, at least, as he would have been in with some sort of a chance. On the 18th, the BallPin went to Craig who knocked off Noodles and Brent to get at least a bit of loot for the day. The ProPin was on the 12th and Harry putted the ball 1.74m to miss the birdie by being 0.005m short of the hole. And so, he did not contribute in any way to the total of 21 birdies for the day.

Patrick put in his third card today and so he is now eligible for competition with his new Club handicap. MatthewV was the second guest today and he now has two cards to his name. Noodles managed to sneak in for his 600th game today without too much fanfare as the system did not do a recount on the handicap sheet for this week. The Birthday Birdie has a big job to do this week to get a well-wish out to Stef who has a bit of celebrating to do later in the week.

Now, when we talk about draughties, we tend to think of the ball going forward, at least to some degree. Well, today, Ken put the lie to that little theory. It seems that his tee shot on the 14th went more than a little sideways, hit one of the nearby fence posts and bounced back over the comfort zone, that just happened to have been provided by our own Club. Ryan could have suffered a similar fate on the 11th when his drive caught a tree squarely and finished not too far in front but out on the 10th. Ryan had a fair audience from the following group as he tried to thread the ball between the trees. Michael says he drove into the trees on the 10th and the ball ended up in the same divot that it did last week. Which begs the question as to why he didn’t fill it in then.

Results for Saturday, 12 December 2020
1st Craig Cameron(69, 65, 134) 1st Michael Gourlay(68, 66, 134) (c/b t9) 1st Stephen O’Sullivan(67, 67, 134) 2nd Brendon Mitchell(68, 68, 136) 3rd Damien Lee(69, 69, 138) 3rd Keith Delzoppo(70, 68, 138) 3rd Peter Damou(71, 67, 138) 4th Chris Priems(67, 74, 141) 4th Ryan Porker(69, 72, 141) 4th John Quinlan(68, 73, 141) 5th Andrew Petricola(71, 71, 142) 5th Kazim Akdag(66, 76, 142)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (69,65,134) 1st Michael Gourlay (68,66,134) 2nd Keith Delzoppo (70,68,138) 3rd Chris Priems (67,74,141)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 12th Harry Boughen BallPin No 1 15th No Contest BallPin No 2 18th Craig Cameron

Today marked the start of a whole new year of competition for the Club’s comprehensive list of prestigious trophies. And, arguably, there is none more prestigious than the year’s kick-starter, the Vin O’Meara Christmas Cup. And, in case you haven’t already, you should make a point of feasting your eyes on the Club’s brand new Trophy Cabinet which will house the perpetual trophies in perpetuity. Sorry, guys, no more – straight to the pool room. Many thanks are due to SOS for sourcing the fine piece of furniture and to SOS and Gordo for doing the heavy lifting to bring it into service. The weather was cloudy and warm with a change due to bring wind and rain about lunch-time. So, the forecast was no impediment to the 24 members and two guests who turned out for the fray. There were some who thought that the change in the weather could very well arrive before they had completed their round. And, although it was compared in length to Tolstoy’s infamously long War and Peace, everybody was safely home before the weather set in. Seriously, though, keep in mind those little time saving tricks like, ready golf, mark your card at the tee, plan your shot before it is your turn, read your putt while waiting for others, one practice swing, and so forth.

Young Zimmer is on the come-back trail after an extended break from the Club. He put in his three cards to re-establish his handicap and the consensus view was that the number might have been on the generous side. Is that the case or this just a flash in the pan? The proof of the pudding will be in the eating and Zimmer will have to be on his mettle when he comes up against Stan next week. Now, Stan is a man who has not been with us all that long and maybe he has been hiding his light under a bushel. He certainly pulled one out of somewhere today and was able to tie it up with Kazim with their net scores of 66 strokes. Game on!

CJ chucked a bit of a hissy-fit during the week when he received all sorts of requests after the tee list went out. In future, guys, put in any requests by the close of registrations or they will not be considered. Any way, he seems to have settled down a bit and that seems to have reflected in his game with a very respectable, and in there with a chance, score of 67 on the bottom line. SOS was keen to get away to work but the pressure did not prevent him from being right in the mix with his 67 as well.

In one of the most bunched up fields that we have had in a long time, there are three players with the scent of a win in their nostrils on a dead-set handicap equaling round of 68. Michael, who is also back from a spell and could be ready to fire, Brendon, that unflappable precision player from New Ziland and JQ, who takes the occasional break from the mire of legalese to play, made up what could almost be styled the Three Musketeers on Third.

Yet, there are another four within back-stabbing distance of the leaders, and they comprise Craig, Adam (also back from a spell), Damo and Porks on everybody’s favourite number, 69. Titter, titter. Last in the game for hypothetical points was that old dark horse, Keith. Now, the big question is, will Keith come back next week for the kill. Or, will Gordo kill Keith if he does (and wins).

The other game in play is the Club Stroke Championship. In the scratch division of this event, there is a close run thing going on between Michael and Pepsi for the top spot with only a couple of strokes in it. From what Pepsi said today, a few what-ifs could have made all the difference. Craig and Porks have a bit of work (or some knee-capping) to do. Despite some woes brought on by an excess of three putt greens, Harry has managed to hang onto his lead with still a bit of a margin over Craig. Michael and SOS are a few strokes further back. The full table is on the web-site under the Competitions Menu.

The ProPin today was on the 12th and Porks went oh so close to snagging the elusive golfers dream, leaving the ball a mere 320mm from the pin. Naturally, he got the birdie and so contributed to the total of 21 that the field was able to card for the day. Gordo was able to squeeze one close enough on the 15th to collect himself a ball and it was up to Craig to get one close enough on the 18th to take out the final BallPin for the day.

A quick welcome to a couple of prospective members. Pat McSweeney has been along a couple of times now as a guest of Pepsi. He has decided to throw his hat in and join us, and he now has two cards to his credit. Matt Van Dam came along today as a guest of JQ and, he too, has expressed a wish to join our merry band, and he has his first card in the system. While we are on the subject of Membership, the Club membership of $30 and the GolfLink membership of $90 normally falls due in December. So, if you can see your way clear to pay your subs into the Club bank account (details on the web-site under Contacts) that would be much appreciated. The Committee is prepared to be a little more relaxed about deadlines coming out of this difficult time, but, we really do need to know your intentions about GolfLink before the end of December so that we can adjust the database before the census on 31st.

SOS also scored a birdie today on the fifth hole. Damo reckons that the score was down to him when his leg got in the way of SOS’s ball and prevented it from going into the rough stuff behind the green. Noodles broke a club today and he didn’t even mean to. He was playing a fairly simple shot and the shaft folded about halfway down the grip. Presumably he had to grip down on that club from then on.

MattA went a little astray on his approach to the 2nd green and finished on the 6th tee. Not a problem, he just chipped it over the bank, onto the green and it rolled in for the easiest of pars. Adam smashed his drive almost out of sight from the 16th tee and his tee peg finished past the red markers. He was wondering whether there should be a new tradition where the rest of the group buy him a drink for the feat. Peter was convinced that there was a curse on the ball that he was using and decided to change from the yellow to white. He was then searching for a yellow ball thinking it might have gone into a hazard, and completely ignoring his actual white ball, even to the extent of planning to drop another.

Blighty caused all sorts of havoc after the round by having forgotten to get cards and his handicap when he registered at the ProShop before the round. Much scribbling and transcribing of scores as the crowds waited on. We know they do things differently over the ditch but, do they really turn taps anti-clockwise (and in line with the pipe) to off as Brendon was noticed trying to do when he finished washing his cart. Bob sank a long turning putt for a birdie on the 18th for what he reckoned was his only decent shot for the day. Apparently, Bob and Damo were arguing all the way around about the scores, and they were still arguing up until the moment that the cards were handed in. Damo reckoned his head hurt from dealing with such large numbers.

Don’t forget, you still have to register for your game each Saturday even though, next week, the Leader Boards will determine the pecking order. The week after next will be the Stuart Clarke Champion of Champions and the Chump of Chumps. This will be followed by the Break-up and Trophy Presentations. Once again, this will be held at JQs house which is located at 24 Atkinson Street, Templestowe. If you haven’t already, can you please also register for this event so that we can be sure of the needs for catering.

Results for Saturday, 05 December 2020
Leaderboard Round 1: 1st Kazim Akdag(66) 1st Stan Blackshaw(66) 2nd Chris Priems(67) 2nd Stephen O’Sullivan(67) 3rd Michael Gourlay(68) 3rd Brendon Mitchell(68) 3rd John Quinlan(68) 4th Craig Cameron(69) 4th Adam King(69) 4th Damien Lee(69) 4th Ryan Porker(69) 5th Keith Delzoppo(70)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Stan Blackshaw (66) 2nd Chris Priems (67) 3rd Michael Gourlay (68)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin12th Ryan Porker BallPin No 1 15th Gordon Hill BallPin No 2 18th Craig Cameron

---

This is the way the Championship ends
This is the way the Championship ends
This is the way the Championship ends
Not with a bang but with a whimper.

With apologies to T. S. Eliot

And so we come to the end of a rather unusual year of golf. We’ve had lock-downs. We’ve had shut-downs. We’ve had knock-downs. But, at least we haven’t had any drag-outs. And, at the end of the day, we managed to navigate our way through it all to still have a modicum of interest in the outcome of the final round of the competition for this year. The weather was fine, but overcast, and there were just a couple of spots of rain. The increased freedoms and the impending silly season did not impact our number by too much and 22 members and Pepsi’s guest, Patrick, set out to do battle with the elements and the trees. JQ was on deck to celebrate his little milestone of 300 games with the Club. He could have passed it years ago if he hadn’t gone gallivanting to the four corners of the globe in pursuit of his career. But, just maybe, his career was just a tad more important.

Noodles and Porks took to the field side by side with Noodles intent more on limiting Ryan’s chances of scoring any more points than him than on winning the day. Ryan went astray early, which might have lulled Noods into a false sense of security and by the turn his three stroke advantage had disappeared and the scores were equal. They then traded stroke for stroke as the back nine progressed with neither being able to garner any advantage. Porks had the chance to pip Noods by a stroke on the 18th but the par proved elusive and, at the end of 18, the scores were still dead equal and, regardless of position in the field, the 2020 Club Championship was clearly in Noodles hands, with a total of 57 points, four points clear of Ryan on 53. Pepsi held his placing on the table to finish third with 47 points.

Of course, the real event of the day was the December Monthly Medal. Harry has admitted to watching a few instructional videos over the period away from the course and, there are those among the members who reckon he hits the straightest driver in the Club. As a hint, his driver from the back blocks on the 15th pulled up around a metre short of the hole, creating more than a little excitement on the tee. But, whether it is the instruction or just the one in twenty outlier, it does not take away from the fact that he fairly blitzed the course today to take out the trophy with a handicap devastating net score of 62.

Somebody reckons that Stef is looking even more like a porn star than ever with the Mo-vember and the tatts. But that has not stopped him from hitting the ball a country mile as well as being able to score. He managed to play exactly to his handicap and stepped up for a share of second place. His partner in crime on the podium was Craig who had a couple of scratchy ones to start off but settled down and barely put a foot wrong from there on.

MattA also had a few scratchy ones early in the round, but he managed to settle for the final twelve holes and came in, just a stroke behind in third place. He wasn’t alone in that spot although he very well could have been if MattH’s putt on the 18th had dropped in for the birdie rather than hanging on the rim of the cup and just staying out. Not sure whether there was something about that hole, but Michael and Daniel also went tantalisingly close but missed by circling the cup and hanging on the edge.

Pepsi had an uncharacteristic result on the 6th with a couple of ‘chunked’ shots undoing an otherwise nice round. Brent was nurse-maiding his father-in-law and, so, might be forgiven a couple of aberrations that impacted his ability to score as well as he might. Then followed a list so long that Damo was loathe to read them all out during the announcements. But, here goes. Noodles, Beast, Michael, Gordo, Porks and, last but by no means least, SOS. All got a piece of fifth place.

Gordon managed to sneak into 3rd place in the Seniors points today but, that was not quite enough and, so, he will have to be satisfied with second place in the Seniors Championship just a single point behind the redoubtable Bob who takes it out with 24 points. Harry’s top placing today means that he was able to jump to 23 points and into third place by leap-frogging over Targe who has not been placing well in recent weeks.

The first BallPin, on the 12th, proved to be a bit difficult with the pin on the hard right of the green. However, JQ managed to get it on and held off all comers to take out the ball on offer. On the 18th, the pin was on the bottom deck which seems to be much more to peoples liking and the eventual winner was MattH. His missed putt did not contribute to the tally of birdies for the day. Noodles did manage to get a new birdie on the 9th which did add to the total of 16 for the day. It was also enough to seal him as the winner of the Eclectic for the year with a net score of 46.2, less than half a stroke ahead of Peter. The ProPin was on the 4th and there were numerous valiant efforts that did not quite make it to the 5m limit. Pepsi did manage to squeeze one under the limit but, he was unseated when Damo managed to knock one to 3.85m.

Peter managed to drive one onto the 10th green today. The only problem being that he was playing off the 2nd tee. Chrispy wasn’t able to go too far astray on the 6th today as he managed to play shots into trees a total of five times. Three of those times, the ball finished behind where it started so it is not surprising that he finished the hole in double figures. Another one who finished in double figures was Ben who managed to lose four balls OOB on the 8th on his way to a 15. Maybe it was the ‘gorillas’ on his shirt that affected his approach to the game as he almost took out Porks and Harry at various stages during the round.

Bob was the only reported draughtie today and, it seems that it was a beauty. It happened on the 18th and it could very well be the only recorded instance of the ball finishing behind the tee that it was hit from. The Beast also had his fair share of problems on the last two holes. A couple of shanks on the 17th had him playing down the 18th. Then, on the 18th, he walked up to a ball, checked that it was a blue numbered Srixon and played on. Only to find that his actual ball, a blue numbered Srixon but with prominent green dots and line, lay in the grass a couple of metres away.

The Vin O’Meara starts next week for the first points of the 2021 competition. This event will be played using your latest handicap. It also comprises the final two rounds of the Club Stroke Championship, the result of the handicap branch of which will be determined using today’s handicap. The usual Calcutta Auction for the VOM has been suspended for this year and there will be a $25, draw for player, event in its place. Could everybody who intends to ‘buy’ a player please register their intention on the web-site under the Registration Menu/Register for Calcutta Purchase. The usual $25 buy yourself, winner-take-all will also be available.

The break-up will once again be at Past-President John’s home after the Champion of Champions on 19 December, and we sincerely thank him and Andrea for making their facilities available once again. To help with the catering can everybody please register their intentions on the web-site under Registration/Break-up Registration as soon as possible. Any changes of mind can also be made there, but we would prefer firm decisions.

Results for Saturday, 28 November 2020
1st Harry Boughen(62) 2nd Stefan Belevski(68) 2nd Craig Cameron(68) 3rd Matthew Aforozis(69) 3rd Matt Hunt(69) 4th Andrew Petricola(71) 4th Brent Rowley(71) 5th Stephen Butterfield(72) 5th Bill Eastoe(72) 5th Michael Gourlay(72) 5th Gordon Hill(72) 5th Ryan Porker(72) 5th Stephen O’Sullivan(72)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (62) 2nd Craig Cameron (68) 3rd Bill Eastoe (72) 3rd Gordon Hill (72) 3rd Michael Gourlay (72)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin4th Damien Lee BallPin No 1 12th John Quinlan BallPin No 2 18th Matt Hunt