The prospect of double points is the only possible explanation. Why else would nineteen of our best turn out in virtually identical weather and course conditions to those in play last week. In no way is this a complaint, the more, the merrier. One of the attractions, of course, is the fact that the Freddie is a Stableford competition, and, for some reason, Stableford seem to be more to member’s liking than some of the other formats played. The only real downside was the briskish breeze that made the day feel rather colder than it was, although it did make for a good excuse if a shot wandered a bit off line, or pulled up short, or went past the green. Blame it on the wind! During the week, the mud on the course was fairly fluid, and, if not quite self-cleaning, it was easily removed. Today, it stuck like baby cack to a blanket, and buggy wheels and shoes were somewhat over-loaded by the end of the round. The preferred lie rule was much appreciated by all, and some even claimed that it almost offered an unfair advantage. How much advantage you could, or should, take is a whole other question.

Don’t let it be said that CJ is not passionate about his game of golf. He is also currently very passionate about his new set of clubs, to the extent of professing undying love and looking to get a larger bed (or to move somebody out) so that he can sleep with them. His ‘ageing’ body seems to prefer the lighter shafts, and he has to make much less use of the trees to stay on the fairway. Except on the 17th, where the tee shot looked to be in the Yarra for all money before a grateful tree (it is assumed) brought it back into play and neatly perched it up on the only tuft of grass for miles around. It was also reported that he had resorted to using his putter from halfway up the fairway to pull off some of the unlikely shots that paid off to bring him home with 39 of the best Stableford points and a clear lead into the second round. Can the love affair last?

Was Craig having a bad trot, or was he just foxing to lull people into thinking that he was a spent force? He certainly disproved the thought that the latter was the case as he went close to taking the front nine apart, including a four pointer for a birdie on the third, on the way to his tally of 37 points. That birdie, by the way, was just one of the ten that the team managed to card for the day. JQ took a couple of holes to get his range, but then he scored three pointers on six of the remaining seven holes on the front nine. The walk between the 9th and the 10th reset the clock and the first two holes on the back were not so impressive until the composure was reasserted, and he was able to finish the round right on his handicap at 36 points. This result was helped along a bit by a very nice chip in for birdie on the 17th.

Geoff is still getting used to the Club handicapping system, and was surprised to find that he had gained a stroke on his playing handicap from last week. He also took a few holes to get going, but, from the 4th onwards, there was no holding him back. He parred the 7th for a four pointer. There was hardly a blemish on the card from then on, and he finished with a very handy 35 points. Brent lost out to CJ again today in their little family competition when he could only manage 33 points, leaving a reasonable amount of work to do if he wants to step up to the top spot next week. He would have to give CJ a bit of a hiding to do that, but he could get one back in the family challenge if things go well.

Brent and Adam chose to play their Matchplay quarter-final today. With only four strokes to be conceded by Brent, the off-the-stick score was going to be important. Adam obviously meant business and came out swinging to land some telling early blows to be three up after four holes. A birdie putt on the 6th that stopped agonisingly short prevented the advantage extending to four holes. A Brent burst over the next five holes turned the tables, and the balance of power had tilted ever so slightly the other way. The lead changed again, but no real advantage presented itself, and the match drew to all square after the 16th. Brent took the 17th quite comfortably to make the match dormie 1. And, despite a valiant effort by Adam on the 18th, Brent won that hole to take the match 2 up. The semi-finals are due to start on 30th July, and the time to complete them is quite short, so the contenders should start planning their calendar immediately to fit them in. They should also mark in 20th August as they will be playing the finals and play-off on that day. How will the points be distributed?

The ProPin was set for the 4th hole, which was made all the more interesting by the freshly excavated slope at the front of the tee box where the markers were located. Harry and Blighty were both pin-high but off the green, so they didn’t get a chance to put their name on the card. Porks did though with a shot to 3.96m to collect the dosh. The first BallPin on the 12th was won by CJ with one of his ‘magic’ new clubs. The 18th BallPin would have taken some beating when Skip put his shot to about half a metre. It seems that the missed putt contributed to the story of his day.

Gordon played two strokes for two lost balls on the first and second holes. He was so disconsolate after the disappearance of his first ‘good’ drive that he walked the hole and then sconed his second shot into the shrubbery in front of the second tee, to add insult to injury and to score a draughtie as well. Adam also owned up to a draughtie on the 15th. He did have a bit of luck playing into the 14th green from the 16th fairway when the branches of a tree took enough pace off the ball for him to finish just off the green instead of well across.

Matt must be thinking of transferring to the flying squad. He seemed to be very interested in the aerodynamics of a golf club at one stage today. There were other suggestions of UFCs today but details were sketchy. SOS, on the other hand, was afflicted by a case of the shanks at one stage of the round. On the 12th, after a few abortive attempts at chipping, he decided that the ball needed a bath, and endeavoured to dispose of it into the penalty area. Even that didn’t work out, as the ball hit a tree and bounced right back to him. Brendon is known for setting his buggy free rather than keeping it under control down a hill. Maybe some mud accumulated on one of the wheels, but, as it careered down the 1st hill, it veered sharply off course and capsized, spreading the contents far and wide. You would think Brendon had his small change stored therein, the amount of time that he spent gathering up every last skerrick. The rest of his group were on the green by the time he finished.

Steve lashed out today and bought himself a cleaning cloth, a couple of balls and a couple of tees. On the way around, he managed to lose the cloth and both of the balls. At least he still had the couple of tees, although they did work out rather expensive at $12.50 a pop. A check at the desk for lost property could see the return of the cloth if you are lucky. Porks didn’t sound as if he was too happy about his tally for the day, but it seems that it could have been worse if two shots headed for OOB on the 8th hadn’t received their ‘lucky’ breaks.

Results for Saturday, 16 Jul 2022
Leaderboard Round 1: 1st Chris Priems (39) 2nd Craig Cameron (37) 3rd John Quinlan (36) 4th Geoff Lyall (35) 5th Brent Rowley (33)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Chris Priems (39) 2nd Craig Cameron (37) 3rd Geoff Lyall (35)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Ryan Porker BallPin No 1 – 12th Chris Priems BallPin No 2 – 18th Mark Minney

It was a bit of a sad day today as we realised that this marked the end of an era, and we would never again see Trev’s smiling face, hear his dulcet tones ring out across the course, and his running commentary on his game and ours. A good number of members turned out for his farewell during the week, which was much appreciated by his family and friends. In actual fact, there were more members there than the twelve that made it to the tee today. Pepsi was probably still getting over his birthday celebrations, and Blighty is a well known fair weather player. In fact, the weather didn’t turn out too badly, with no wind and little more than a mist in precipitation. The course was a bit wet underfoot in places, although the greens were remarkably hard and fast. Actually, one of the wettest places on the course was the 15th tee, and some members were asking whether they were entitled to casual water relief. With so many factors coming into play, how did the actual scoring go?

Members are starting to believe that some alien life form has taken over the body of our President. Not only was no beer harmed as a result of today’s round, but also, Rob topped the podium steps once again with a very nice 38 points that had the effect of shaving yet another couple of strokes from his handicap. Just in time for the start of the Winter Cup! Nice work Rob. There might have been some dispute about the no beer harm claim, but the details were just a bit too hazy to report as a fact. On another matter relating to the red markers, Adam distinguished himself today by driving his tee past them on the second. Porks tried hard on the 14th, but the tee separation was just a little too great.

Harry was pretty happy with his 19 points on the front nine, but triples on the 10th and 13th brought things back to the pace, and he was only able to finish with 35 points for a spot in second place. Geoff was channelling CJ today. With his shortish haircut and well trimmed beard, he was almost mistaken for our MIA tee marshal (Go Collywobbles!). Out on the course the likeness continued with a number of ‘tree’ shots saving the day to bring the ball back into play. With three misses and two four pointers on the front, the handicapper is taking a good hard look at how ‘generous’ he has been. However, it is the final score that counts, and 35 points scores him yet another let-out. JQ started out with a good drive on the first, and was feeling pretty pleased with himself until he finished the hole with a seven. At this point, he contemplated calling it a day. A goodly number of ‘up and downs’, some of them with very long putts, banished any suicidal thoughts, and he pressed on to finish with 35 points also. One of the U and Ds was a particularly duffy shot on the 17th that just kept on hopping and running to go very close to going into the hole for an eagle and leaving the birdie in no doubt. That birdie was one of just five that we scored for the day, although Gordon is claiming the ‘best’ with his 5.2m putt on the 12th after he just missed out qualifying to get his name on the ProPin card.

Which could go some way to explaining how Gordo managed to rack up 34 points to fill the third spot on his Pat Malone. Three triples obviously stood in the way of a significantly better result. Whitey filled his card with fours, fives and sixes in just about equal measure on his way to a solo spot in 4th place with 33 points. Craig bisected the fairway on the first, and looked as if he was going to be his dangerous self once more. He did need a bit of luck on the 3rd, where a ‘skinny’ chip looked to be heading for the wide blue. That is until it hit the pin and stopped dead for an easy par tap in. The form faded a bit on the back, and he could only scrape together 32 points, but that was enough to get 5th place, and another point to the tally.

The first BallPin was on the 4th, and it turned into a bit of a no contest after JQ put his name on the card. The second was on the 18th, as usual, and this too was a no contest after ChrisJ put his name on that card. Chris also made some use of the trees on the course to his advantage. One particular case was on the 16th, where a well off course shot finished in the middle of the fairway thanks to a convenient tree. The trees played no part in making it to the 18th green. The ProPin was on the 12th, and after Gordo’s ‘miserable’ attempt, Prez thought he was going to clean up again this week. Unfortunately, Craig had other ideas and took out the pot with a shot to 2.45m, a good 1.43m closer than Rob’s (and not 38cm, or 380cm, or something as Rob was trying to claim during the presentations).

The Birthday Birdie was a little remiss last week in forgetting to visit Pepsi. But this week he has to say a little Hello to Steve, who has something to celebrate coming up. Steve did plan to be with us today, but a family matter came up that required his attention. We hope all is good with your daughter, Steve, and that you can celebrate your day together.

Results for Saturday, 09 Jul 2022
1st Robert Priems (38) 2nd Harry Boughen (35) 2nd Geoff Lyall (35) 2nd John Quinlan (35) 3rd Gordon Hill (34) 4th Rodney White (33) 5th Craig Cameron (32)

Seniors Results: 1st Geoff Lyall (35) 1st Harry Boughen (35) 2nd Gordon Hill (34) 3rd Rodney White (33)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Craig Cameron BallPin No 1 – 4th John Quinlan BallPin No 2 – 18th Chris James

The recent rains have been mercifully light to non-existent, and so the course has been holding its own. It actually looked downright inviting from the Clubhouse hill looking back down the ninth. There wasn’t much run on the fairways if you had any sort of a launch angle, but the greens were surprisingly fast. Just ask Steve, who managed to miss the green twice from just a few metres out on a couple of occasions. And this despite a chipping lesson with the Pro during the week. There were some dark looking clouds around first thing, and they didn’t really clear away, although they did lighten up as the day went on. Also, there was not a breath of wind the whole morning, so our 15 members who made it to the tee should have had little excuse from the conditions. Bob almost had an excuse for not turning up after his navigation system kept taking him around in ever decreasing circles, somewhere in the vicinity of ShoppingTown. In the end, he called his well honed bush skills into play and relied on his unerring sense of direction to get him to the golf course that he has been playing regularly for the last 30 years. Maybe the 900th game last week went to his head.

Now, many golf clubs have a day on their calendar that is known as President’s Day. Unfortunately, we don’t have such a day on our calendar, so Prez decided that he would exercise Presidential prerogative and declare that today was just such a day. It wasn’t all roses, as he did have to shout after his drive on the 2nd powered through one of the bushes in front of the tee, only to collect a tree that pulled the ball up well short of the red markers. However, his pitcher was working a treat and a number of approach shots finished pretty much within gimme distance of the hole. A couple of longish putts also helped to keep the wolf from the door, bringing him home with a nice round net score of 68 to minimise the damage to his handicap. If that wasn’t enough, he also managed to get his name on the two BallPin markers at the 4th and 18th to collect a couple of Precepts, which are now his favourite ball, in addition to the one for the win. SOS, please note!

ChrisJ produced a bit of a mixed bag on the front nine, but definitely lifted his game on the back to produce a swag of pars. A triple on the 13th was the only real blemish for the half, and he finished the round a couple of strokes back with a net of 70. Porks was deadly with his wedge today, and this scored him consecutive birdies early in the round, and he missed three in a row by the barest of margins. He now has a very nice lead in the Championship and a couple of strokes to play with in the Eclectic. Still room for improvement in that department, as there are three holes on the course that he has not yet birdied or eagled.

El Capitano was rather reluctant to talk about his own game, which didn’t quite come up to his usual high standard. In actual fact, he was rather more keen to take part in Dob-in-a-Bob Week, perhaps showing a yearning for his halcyon days in the Cubs and Scouts. When Akela cried Dyb, Dyb, Dyb, he was probably the very first to reply We’ll Dob, Dob, Dob. Anyhow, he did provide graphic evidence of the draughtie on the 16th tee. And, he managed to slip into third place with his net of 73. There were a remarkable number of ‘fat ladies’ on the cards today, and a rather unexpected appearance was made on Brendon’s card. Brendon was in one of his pedantic moods today, wanting to argue about what constituted and airie. He contended that the fact that he hit the ground before not hitting the ball did not constitute said felony. The fact that he had his backside up against a tree and the ball was in long grass does not provide mitigating circumstances. Despite all this, he also netted 73 and shared third place with Matt.

There were also a few scores that got into double figures on a hole, and Ben was one player who recorded that distinction. Whether that was the same hole that he scored his draughtie and/or did his back in was not declared. There was a round at Sandringham on offer for tomorrow because of the injury. Despite this, a net score of 75 left him in 4th place, with no one else to share the glory. Harry believes that the idea of putting should be changed to running the ball just to catch the edge of the hole, but not to go in. Brent reckons that he has proved once again that if you birdie the first, then the only way from there is down. As a result, they both reported nets of 76 to collect the last point for the day.

The field was faced with a couple of quandaries with the course set up today. The first was on the first, where the signage warned you to keep off, but the white markers beckoned you to come on, sailor. The second was on the 5th, where the tee markers were less than a pace from the back of the brand new tee box. So much for having two club lengths for a teeing area. There was barely enough room for a stance. There were no quandaries on the 15th, where we were competing for the Jackpot ProPin. CJ wasn’t here today to defend himself, but brother Rob was adamant that the oversight last week was definitely down to Chris. In the end, the other ChrisJ was the one who got his name on the card with a shot to 1.37m. Given that we only reported three birdies for the day, and those three have already been mentioned, the evidence would suggest that he did not make the putt.

There was one match played today in the Matchplay quarter-finals, that saw Pepsi pitted against Whitey. The word came back that the whole thing was not pretty, as both players turned out well below their potential. As a result, the match ended up being a pretty close-run thing. Nobody could really get the upper hand, and after the 12th the match stood at all square. Rod then made a bit of a break for it and made it out to a lead of two holes, and Peps started to get a bit anxious. So much so that he produced a power shank on the 15th to finish across the 16th and not too far from the fence to the car-park. He played a great recovery shot and barely missed the par, which would have won him the hole. As it was, the result was a square, not a loss as was recorded. The match was square after the 17th, and it required a win on the 18th for Whitey to take the match one up.

Today, despite the lack of wind, turned out to be pretty draughtie. As well as the ones already mentioned, additional mentions are due to Pat who had to dip into his sky-rocket for two rounds, and to Targe who did not make the best of the day. Rob got away a good drive on the 11th, although it did drift a bit to the right and into the tree line. He also made good contact with his second shot, but, unfortunately, the ball also made good contact with a tree several metres away. The rebound almost took off Prez’s head, and the ball finished some 30m behind and almost back on the 10th green. Bob reckons we should have more news about good shots, so here goes. On the 13th, Bob had a shot from behind the penalty area, with the contained forest between him and the green. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Bob pulled out a wedge, and gave it all he was worth. He didn’t see where it went, but he was very pleased to find that it had finished on the green. A pretty mean feat, you would have to say.

Now, we must, unfortunately, bring some very sad news. During the week, our old mate and stalwart of the Club for 30 years, Trevor took a tumble in his own home and injured himself so severely that he was not able to summon help, and he died alone and probably in great pain. Our sincerest condolences go to his family and friends. As a mark of respect, we ask that everybody playing next week wear a black armband. President Rob has been in contact with Trev’s family, and he will advise details of the funeral for those members who would like to attend to pay their respects. Rest in Peace Trev, there’s bound to be plenty of carts available for that great golf course in the sky.

Results for Saturday, 02 July 2022
1st Robert Priems (68) 2nd Chris James (70) 2nd Ryan Porker (70) 3rd Matt Hunt (73) 3rd Brendon Mitchell (73) 4th Ben Akdag (75) 5th Harry Boughen (76) 5th Brent Rowley (76)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (76) 2nd Bob McDonald (78) 3rd Andrew Blight (79)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Chris James BallPin No 1 – 4th Robert Priems BallPin No 2 – 18th Robert Priems

Yet another lovely Melbourne winter’s day. There was just a nice little gap between the weather fronts coming through to produce a day that was not too cold, and definitely not too hot. As Goldilocks would say, it was just right. Of course, the showers that accompany the weather fronts have done their bit to keep the course well damped down, and there was a certain amount of squishiness underfoot in places. Plugged balls were evident from time to time, but they are subject to relief in any case. The preferred lie ruling was certainly welcome, but the ‘claytons’ ruling on the (non)use of carts by the ProShop caused more than a little consternation, among the twelve members who managed to make it on deck. One who had to bail was out SOS who has been struck down by the dreaded C, and is trying to console himself in isolation. Get well soon old mate, we need somebody to handle our balls. And, while on the topic of getting well, Bob was back on the course today after an extended break due to his hand problem. Although he did not exactly blitz the course, he did manage to score a two-pointer, and he finally got to play his 900th round with the Club. Congratulations, Bob.

What sort of a score would you expect to see from a player who manages to square twelve of the eighteen holes in a round. It probably depends on whether a square is a ‘good’ result, or a ‘bad’ result. In Brendon’s case, they were more like a ‘bad’ result, with plus scores out-numbering minus scores by four to two. This balance kept his tally for the round to just +2, which turned out to be just enough to win the top points by a fairly comfortable margin. Whether the team tee-shirt helped the performance in any way was not immediately obvious, but Brendon was heard to mutter something about ‘sticking it to those Collingwood supporters’.

Harry felt that his score should have been a bit better after a two point putt missed by a hairs-breadth. However, he was also rather thankful when a longish downhill putt on the 14th trickled in for a par after a couple of less than satisfying approach shots. At the end of the day, -1 was probably a fair result. Last week, when H and Michael battled it out in their match, they finished with identical results for the round. Today, they did it again, as Michael also presented with a score of -1. According to reports, Michael was on the verge of throwing it in and going home when he had completed the sixth to be five on the wrong side of zero. He must have given himself a good talking to, as he managed to play the last twelve holes with two strokes under the card, which converted his five down to one down to get the points for second place. The birdies involved (three) helped us to a fairly respectable tally of nine for the day.

It has been a little while since Craig has popped his head above the battlements, which could mean that he is preparing to go ‘over the top’ and lead the charge for the enemy trenches. Or at least for the head of the Championship Table. Rob did not feature in any reports of ‘coming up short’, which some might say is a bit unusual. Although there was a good smattering of plus signs on his card, there was a bit of an excess of minuses, leading to his final score of -2, which scored him a share of the third podium step. Brent scored the other of the two ‘doubles’ for the day on his way to being three up at the turn. At this point, the run of form seemed to abandon him, and five downers on the back brought him back to the pace for his share of third.

The hole was not specified, but Whitey managed to find a tree that, rather unexpectedly, managed to play a return shot that left his ball on the ‘wrong’ side of the red markers. Which probably explains why he was buying a round of drinks after the game. Despite this little setback, he was able to put together a nice little back nine, a couple on the plus side, to finish on his own in fourth place with -3. Although he had his handicap cut last week, Ryan probably cannot blame that alone for his rather nasty front nine that matched Michael’s over the first six holes, but lacked the MG recovery on the last three of the nine. He did manage to equal par on the back to bring some respectability and one point for fifth place. CJ would have been reasonably pleased with his game for the first nine holes where he managed to play to his handicap and square the card. Perhaps it was the anticipation of the afternoon’s events at Jake’s Baby Shower that brought on the slump in form over the first half of the back. Or did it bring on the recovery over the last four? Whichever it was, he teamed up with Porks to collect a single point for the day.

You would reckon that a team of champions, such as Prez, CJ and Brent, could be relied upon to put out the NTP markers on the designated holes. To give them their due, they did manage to get the job done on the 4th, which was the first BallPin. Craig managed to get his name on the card briefly, only to be knocked off by Harry, who finished a good metre and a half nearer. It was the ProPin on the 15th where the best laid plans came unstuck (Baby Shower again?), and the paraphernalia was nowhere to be seen by the following groups. As a result, there was No Contest today, and the funds in the pool will Jackpot to next week. The pin on the 18th was on the top deck today, which is thought to be the more ‘difficult’ location. Not so for Michael, who managed to balance it not too far past the brow to collect the ball on offer.

The Beast was a little off his game today, although he did make what appeared to be a good strike from the tee at the 12th, eliciting cries of ‘in the hole’ as the ball arced towards the pin. Unfortunately, the shot came up short on the slope and promptly headed down hill at a rate of knots, eliciting cries of ‘in the pond’ before it came to a halt in the longish grass at the bottom of the slope. Steve was a bit unhappy with most aspects of his game today. The short game came in for its fair share of questioning, particularly after he had made three approaches to the 9th green for no forward progress after the ball persistently stopped short and rolled back down the slope to his feet.

Results for Saturday, 25 June 2022
1st Brendon Mitchell (+2) 2nd Harry Boughen (-1) 2nd Michael Gourlay (-1) 3rd Craig Cameron (-2) 3rd Robert Priems (-2) 3rd Brent Rowley (-2) 4th Rodney White (-3) 5th Ryan Porker (-4) 5th Chris Priems (-4)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (-1) 1st Michael Gourlay (-1) 2nd Craig Cameron (-2) 3rd Rodney White (-3)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th – No Contest BallPin No 1 – 4th Harry Boughen BallPin No 2 – 18th Michael Gourlay