The calendar year has just begun, and the first Monthly medal was up for grabs. After a couple of cop-outs, we could only muster 13 members, but the total playing was boosted by the inclusion of Andrew Nobel, who is planning to join our happy little band. You couldn’t have wanted for better weather with calm sunny conditions for most of the round, although the breeze did pick up just a bit later in the day. The bare patches on the third are filling in nicely, and you actually get a chance to play off some grass if you happen to venture into that area of the course. And, it has reached the stage where the management of the course will require the addition of some water. Who’d have thought, when only a few weeks ago it was effectively under water. Some of the rough areas have been allowed to lengthen, which resulted in a fair bit of searching as well as a number of ‘lost’ balls, all of which does not help the pace of play.

There was a fair sort of a gallery at the first tee when Bob lined up for his first shot of the day. The result was not great, and the ball finished in the garden bed just in front. Almost unperturbed, Bob recovered well enough to finish the hole with a score that would have still scored him a point had the event been Stableford. From there on, there was no holding him back, as the pars and bogies kept rolling in with great regularity. Despite getting the front wheel of his buggy tangled up in some sort of a Gordian Knot (no, it has nothing to do with Gordo) on the 12th, Bob was on track to a gross score of 93 and a field beating net score of 64 to take out the January Monthly Medal.

Meanwhile, Gordian (I mean Gordo) was also showing some of the form that has been largely absent in the recent past. He was feeling pretty pleased with his card, that showed nothing worse than a single double that netted him a score of 65. He opined that the double on the 17th was the unforgivable sin that cost him the Medal, that he would have won on countback had he tied the event. You know what they say about aunties and uncles! And, what is more reliable than playing exactly to your handicap? Old Reliable, of course. Yes, Craig did it again. Straight down the middle and two pretty evenly balanced halves to card the ‘perfect’ score of net 68 and third place.

ChrisJ rocked up today, bragging about how his brand new Chrissy bag was going to help his game out of sight. For the first four or five holes, it looked as if it really was doing the job as the teed off on the 6th, equalling par so far. Then things started to unravel just slightly. A couple of fat ladies between there and the end of the round meant that he was only able to report a net 70, which is by no means an embarrassment as far as scores go, plus it gave him fourth place for the day. Harry was quite keen to put his new handicap to the test, and things were going well until the 6th when a disappearing ball from a second errant shot, and the resultant penalties meant that double figures were only just avoided by sinking a longish putt. In the end, he was not too unhappy with the final score of 72 and the one point for 5th place. Steve had a couple of ‘bad’ holes, but the one that really took the cake was the 15th, where he ended up playing three balls from the tee, and finished carding a nine for the hole. Despite all this, he was able to limp home with net 72 as well, and collected a point for fifth as well.

The first BallPin was set for the 15th green, and there could have been a fair contest for the ball after Beast put his ball not all that close from the first group. Harry managed to get somewhat closer than Bill, but there was still plenty of room for improvement. In the end, no improvement was made and Harry collected the ball. The BallPin on the 18th was a jackpot from last week, and Craig was keen to improve his ball collection statistics. However, he was foiled by Steve, who seems to be making a bit of a thing of winning the ball on the 18th. The ProPin was a jackpot on the 12th, but maybe people were trying too hard because nobody succeeded in getting within the required distance. Brendon thought he might have made it, but the tape stretched out to 5.06m. Close, but no cigar! Given his propensity for being able to grab the money, perhaps he was still suffering from his close encounter with a tiger on the third. It obviously scared the birdies as well, for we only scored 5 for the day.

Ryan could have taken out the ProPin on the twelfth with his tee shot, except that it was not his first, after he power shanked that one out onto the road and almost onto the oval. There were a lot of ‘stray’ balls out on the course today. Adam was playing with a Titleist number 4 ball, which you might have thought was fairly distinctive. On one occasion, while searching his group came across four balls, same brand, same number before coming across the one that was his. At least one other search required checking several balls to find the correct one. Our guest, Andrew, used to play Junior golf back in England, but he claims to be a bit rusty these days. The evidence suggests that the rust could very soon be cleaned off when a few ‘trouble-making’ shots are straightened out. We look forward to seeing Andrew out and about with us when life and family allow.

Results for Saturday, 07 Jan 2023
1st Bob McDonald (64) 2nd Gordon Hill (65) 3rd Craig Cameron (68) 4th Chris James (70) 5th Harry Boughen (72) 5th Steven Gervasoni (72)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (64) 2nd Gordon Hill (65) 3rd Craig Cameron (68)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 15th Harry Boughen BallPin No 2 – 18th Steven Gervasoni

On Christmas Eve, there was a body of opinion that thought we might struggle to get a quorum for competition today. Just goes to show how wrong predictions about the future can be. You just have to look at how well the ‘experts’, in fields such as economics, stock-market, election results, etc, go. With a field of sixteen, one of our better turn-outs in recent times, the ‘pundits’ were well and truly off the mark. The day promised to be a warm one, and it was true to its promise, and there were a number of fairly sweaty bodies that sat down for a cooling beverage after the round. Harry even necked a zero, although Brendon still opted for his cappuccino. The silted areas of the course are starting to show signs of the grass making its way out into the sunshine once more, but as the drying trend continues, the sprinklers are coming back into operation to keep the course in tip-top condition. With the extra run on offer, and despite many of the tees being set well back on the blocks, conditions were ripe for some scoring to be done.

Now, there is one member that others are fairly busting to get to play in his group. Yes, he has a great personality, and he can crack a good joke. But the main reason for his popularity has been his regular need to dip into his pocket after the round. However, there was no need for long arms today. There was only one blemish on the whole card, and it was absolutely peppered with three pointers and four pointers, which all resulted in Rob coming home with 24 points on the back nine for a total of 41 to easily take out the top spot on the podium for the day.

SOS could have been forgiven for thinking that he could be gifting himself the two balls for the win after he started the round like a house on fire to make the turn with 23 points under his belt. The back nine started well enough, but a three hole ‘horror stretch’ looked like undoing all of the good work. SOS gave himself a ‘dangerous driving’ ticket and a good behaviour bond to recover some respectability, and finished the round with a very nice total of 38 points, which does put paid to the suggestion that he was protecting his handicap. Gordo continues to find some of his old form, and he was able to break his handicap today by just the one point with his total of 37 points. He went close to breaking something else after the round when he leaned back on his chair, and it slipped off the edge of the balcony, almost sending him spreadeagled, and causing his beer to spill into the bargain. Porks did not manage to extend his run of eagles for the calendar year, although he did manage to play to his handicap for the first time in quite a while, so maybe he is just priming himself for the new calendar year’s effort. He joined Gordo in third place with his 37 points as well.

After a couple of weeks of scoring pretty heavily, Harry set out, hoping to be able to play to the level that his new handicap suggested. After a few nervous moments when chips and putts finished short, he ended up pretty pleased with his 35 points, and happily accepted fourth place. Brendon was also sporting a new handicap, and it looked as if the front nine was taking its toll on the result. Despite a couple of one pointers showing up, he finished the back nine just one stroke over the par, worth twenty points, for a total of 34 points and a spot in fifth place. For some reason, Ken regularly forgets that he gets two points on the 18th. As a result, he has been elevated into a share of fifth place with Brendon.

It went very close to being a clean-sweep on the Nearest the Pin competition today. The ProPin on the 12th and the BallPin on the 18th both went begging, and so there will be a jackpot to next week. The BallPin on the 4th was captured by the narrowest of margins (probably only a few millimetres) by SOS, who only just made it to the front edge of the green. So, just one shot out of forty eight made it to the mowed surface. Needless to say, SOS did not make the birdie. However, there were a couple of birdies that are worth a mention. Targe managed to get a birdie on the 7th, a hole that he gets two strokes on, to give himself a very handsome 5 points. It seems a bit unfair to mention the fact that, a couple of holes earlier, on the 5th, he failed to get past the red markers. On a brighter note, Steve did not feature for a mention on the 7th hole for the same reason. Maybe the jinx has been broken? Anyway, back to the birdies. Porks sprayed his drive on the 10th, and it finished over on the 13th fairway. He blasted a shot over the trees to finish off the back of the 10th green, then chipped in to steal the bird. As a result, we ended up with nine birdies for the day.

Stan played with Brendon, and was waxing lyrical about his game on the back nine when he dropped the gem – one of his pars was a birdie! Blighty was wondering whether he could sell his score to the South African cricket team. He reckons they could do with a century. Whitey wasn’t having the best of it on the back nine, so, on the 17th tee, he pulled out his trusty putter, and whacked the ball a good 150m, chipped on and sank the putt for his birdie and a nice little four points that added some respectability to that half of the card. Maybe Raj should have tried his driver to putt because he was pretty disappointed with his performance with the flat stick today. Geoff had trouble with his loft off the tee, with numerous shots barely clearing the ground. Fortunately, there was a fair bit of run to be had, so it wasn’t all bad.

In a bit of a blast from the past, we were joined by that old ‘sharpie’, Craig (aka Snags), who is planning to rejoin our merry band after a break of five years, and to play when his work commitments allow. He was teamed up with CJ and Prez, who apparently sledged him mercilessly right from the get-go. Knowing Craig, he probably gave as good as he got, and probably enjoyed seeing CJ have to take a two-stroke penalty for hitting his ball with his putt on the 4th. The thing that hurt CJ the most was probably the fact that the putt was horribly off line and shouldn’t have been anywhere near Craig’s ball in the first place. Despite the sledging, his first card towards his new handicap was not too far away from where his old handicap was, so maybe the old spark is still sharp.

Results for Saturday, 31 Dec 2022
1st Robert Priems (41) 2nd Stephen O’Sullivan (38) 3rd Gordon Hill (37) 3rd Ryan Porker (37) 4th Harry Boughen (35) 5th Brendon Mitchell (34) 5th Ken Watson (34)

Seniors Results: 1st Gordon Hill (37) 2nd Harry Boughen (35) 3rd Ken Watson (34)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 4th Stephen O’Sullivan BallPin No 2 – 18th Jackpot

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Who said nobody would play on Christmas Eve? Well, it wasn’t quite a record field, but we easily doubled the minimum requirement for a comp with our twelve intrepid members hitting the tees. There were supposed to be thirteen players with SOS’s guest who apparently ‘chickened out’, but we almost didn’t have SOS either after he forgot to set the alarm, and only leapt out from under the feathers at 0710. Fortunately, the last two groups were only on the verge of being upgraded to fours, when he appeared in the car-park. He was none too pleased by the news that no less than three members were ‘unable’ to pay their comp fee because they only had fifties. At least some members had the good sense to raid the missus’s purse on the way out to do the right thing and bring along a fiver. Not too much to ask, surely? Anyway, it turned out to be a beautiful day, nice and cool and a bit cloudy to start, followed by the sun breaking through and the temperature climbing enough to be pleasant, but not too hot. The course is looking in the pink, and the grass is starting to make a come-back, although the area in the hollow on the third has a little way to go. Steve didn’t have nearly so much trouble there today.

Conditions obviously suited some people because there were some pretty impressive scores handed in. Now, it is a well known fact that there is a bit of antipathy between Club members and the Par format of the game. However, this morning some were heard saying that they were so happy that it was par after so many Stroke rounds in recent times. Who’d have thought? The man who was obviously the happiest about it being a Par event was Brendon, who relished the conditions and the competition so much that he absolutely blitzed the course, matching par on the back and being just three over on the front, to amass five fat and juicy points to sneak into first place. Another who also obviously enjoyed the day, and who was a bit disappointed that he had left a significant number of chips and putts short, was Harry, who took the turn four points to the good. He set out on the back, with Gordo’s ‘you’re on fire’ burning in his brain, determined to at least square the nine and hold the position at the turn. That he managed to do and gathered yet another second placing for his trouble.

Prez Rob expressed a bit of disappointment that he had played his best round for a long time, and had even managed to avoid having to buy a round afterwards, only to find himself relegated to third place on the podium. In actual fact, things were not quite as bad as he thought, because he obviously did not check his handicap, and actually had one more stroke to play with. So, he did not have to share the podium with Matt by taking out third place, alone, with his new score of +3. So, it would be Matt’s turn to be disappointed, having been relegated to fourth place with his score of +2. This then left fifth spot to be shared by Stan and Craig, who followed up a few points back on -1. And we won’t mention the ones who thought they might have scored a point, but now missed out.

The first BallPin was set on the 12th as chosen by Stan before tee time. First name on the chit? You guessed it, Stan! Unfortunately, along came Brendon late in the piece and spoiled the party. Matt was also in the first group and laid an early claim to the BallPin on the 18th, which stood for the rest of the round, until along came Steve and snaffled the ball from Matt’s grasp. The ProPin was on the 15th, and nobody was able to better Rob’s effort to finish about pin high and 2.54m away to collect the money. Harry consoled himself with the fact that he was only about 300mm short of the plug where tomorrow’s hole is going to be. There were quite a swag of birdies scored today. Steve scored one on the 3rd, but the 7th was not so kind to him again today, when he pulled off a virtual repeat of last week’s embarrassment. Gordo, ‘sprayed’ his drive on the 15th well to the left, but took good advantage of the slope and finished pin high and several metres off the green. A chip into the hole brought a smile back to his face that had been progressively darkening as the shots generally did not go his way for most of the rest of the round. Stan had the tree in the way on the third, and calmly played his shot right through the middle without mishap, and then did the chip-in for the birdie. Of course, Brendon scored a couple in his par back nine which, along with others, brought us up to 10 for the day.

Matt reckons that somebody must have put Glad-Wrap over the holes, he missed so many putts that ‘should’ have gone in. Pepsi decided to play an iron from the first tee and was heard to mutter that he hated playing irons after the ball finished, still in the rough, at the bottom of the hill. There was no report on the club used when he repeated the performance on the 10th. Anthony hit his ball so hard from the 10th tee that the tee finished a good couple of metres in front of the red markers. Harry missed the flight of the ball because he was so fascinated by the ‘flight of the tumble tee’. The only thing of note that Porks was able to relate about his game was that he had dropped his sausage roll, and that a crow or magpie did not swoop down and beat him to it.

Another championship points round next Saturday, provided that we get the necessary minimum of six players. A good quick round this morning, so no real problem to fit in the game and still get home to sober up enough to be ready for any festivities planned to see in the New Year.

The Birthday Birdie has yet another week off, and so he will take this opportunity to wish all of our members and their families and loved ones a very Merry Christmas, and he hopes that Santa will bring each and every one something nice, like a perfect golf swing for instance. But then, does such a thing exist? Santa, that is!

Results for Saturday, 24 Dec 2022
1st Brendon Mitchell (+5) 2nd Harry Boughen (+4) 3rd Robert Priems (+3) 4th Matt Hunt (+2) 5th Stan Blackshaw (-1) 5th Craig Cameron (-1)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (+4) 2nd Craig Cameron (-1) 2nd Stan Blackshaw (-1) 3rd Steven Gervasoni (-2)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Robert Priems BallPin No 1 – 12th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 2 – 18th Steven Gervasoni

Another year done and dusted. Well almost, just the matter of a couple of Eves to go, but the main events are now over. What a year it has been. The effects of the pandemic continue to hang around, and the weather gods keep hurling bolts of rain, if not lightning, to add further confusion to the mix. Still, we did manage to muddle on through, and only had to cancel a handful of events. One that we did not have to cancel was the Stuart Clarke Champions of Champions and the associated, if sadly named, Chump of Chumps. This event, combined with the prospect of nosh and drinks after, persuaded sixteen members to turn out, together with Ken Grist, one of the very early members of the Club, to try their hand at taming the rather unpredictable thing that is Ivanhoe Golf Course. A reasonable number of extras turned out for the nosh and drinks (about a dozen in all), which resulted in a very convivial afternoon indeed. The weather was fine and warmed up nicely after a slightly cool start. The course was well presented, although there are still some areas to recover from the inundation and silting over that they received. The bare, muddy patches caused some players a degree of frustration due to their preference for grassy lies.

It has been tipped since day one that Raj had a lot more potential than his initial handicap indicated. And today that prediction was borne out, in spades. Raj himself was not backward in promoting the fact that he had scored 23 points on the back nine with a wipe for a result on the 13th. This, plus his already impressive 19 points on the front, brought him up to 42 points to take out the top spot for the day as well as the highly coveted Chump of Chumps trophy, contested by those who did not win a Major, a Medal or other Championship during the competition year. He’ll have to keep his socks pulled up to match it with his nice new handicap, which took a fair old beating as a result.

Second cab off the rank for the day was Harry, who followed up last week’s performance with exactly the same number of strokes off the stick. The two stroke cut that he took last week meant that his net score came in at 65, and the Stableford points stacked up at 39. The points were enough to collect the second placing for the day, but, in the event that really mattered, the net score was plenty to take out the Champion of Champions trophy with the greatest of ease. Next in the Champions of Champions field was Old Reliable who came in three strokes behind Harry with a handicap equalling score of 68 net. This equated to 36 points, and that was what was required to garner 3rd place for the day, and another three points onto Craig’s rapidly escalating tally of Championship Points for the new year. Shades of 2022!

In terms of daily placings, the Champion of Champions field fairly dominated. SOS was a mere stroke behind Craig, having done himself out of a much better placing by means of a bit of a brain fade around the middle third of the course. CJ’s brain fades were much more widely distributed, particularly on the front nine. His back nine was almost flawless, and the twenty points for this half allowed him to fill the last spot available for the day with his score of 34 points. The runners-up in the Chump of Chumps were a rather motley crew of two in Matt and Gordo who came in with 33 points, and just missed out on getting at least a point due to a couple of lapses in concentration.

The Michael Gourlay Benefit events (aka Nearest the Pin) were firstly in the 12th, which was the ProPin. It looked very like being a Jackpot until Michael turned up in the last group and placed his ball 3.33m from the hole to collect the cash once again. On the 15th, it looked as if our other regular hunter and collector, Craig, would take the cherry, but then along came Michael, and he managed to get closer to collect yet another ball. On the 18th, Michael was standing on the tee talking about hat-tricks. But, it was not to be, and Craig’s knocking off of Matt was allowed to stand, giving the ball to Craig. Neither of the two NTP winners was able to make the birdie on the holes. One man who did make a birdie, and thus contribute to our total of 8 for the day, was none other than Prez, Rob. This he did on the 7th, which is a hole that his exorbitant handicap gives him two strokes on, and he was able to pencil on a total of five (5) points for his trouble. Unfortunately, he followed up with an eight on the eighth, for exactly zero points, which was a little disappointing, to say the least. We won’t mention the two great-grand pars that he had on a couple of other par threes.

The day, of course, was not without its little incidents. Steve started out in fine form, and easily parred the first (for a cool four points), and followed up with a five on the second for a, not too shabby, three points. By this stage, he was declaring undying love for his new clubs. At the third, however, like so many whirlwind romances, the novelty began to fade when the bare ground played havoc and an eight ensued. It was back on again with another four point par on the 4th, and back off again after a run of not so hot scores leading to a failure to reach the red markers on the 7th. CJ is finding it difficult to come to terms with the differences in ProV1 balls. Does the x make any difference? Does the dye in the ‘green’ ones affect their performance? And so it goes. He’s not so sure that they all start off as yellow and that the white ones have just been bleached. ChrisJ owned up to an air swing after catching everybody’s attention with a very loud swoosh. Matt was so admiring of his drive on one hole that he didn’t get around to helping Raj search for his ball. Or was he trying to put the mockers onto Raj.

And, of course, there was the lunch and presentations. Ken Grist, who hasn’t changed one iota since the last time he joined us for a day, helped out with the presentations while Gordo wrangled the trophies into some sort of order. First and foremost was the trophy for Club Champion, which was convincingly won by none other than Craig with a total of 98 points for the year. By the end of the session, there was a fair collection of silverware on the table in front of Craig. Another one who fronted up to the presentation table on a number of occasions was Ryan, and his tally included the Eclectic with a gross score of 47 strokes. His newly refurbished apartment might also need expanding. As far back as detailed records go, this is the lowest score in the Eclectic, beating Pepsi’s 2015 effort of 49. Ryan’s score was helped no end by the two holes in one that he scored during the year. Ryan’s description of the events created a great deal of mirth for the assembled gathering, particularly in relation to the low key response of certain individuals on the occasion. One other presentation of note, was the awarding of Life Membership of the Club to Harry, in recognition of his efforts over the last ten years to the management of the handicapping and blogging, as well as other aspects of the smooth running of the Club. By the middle of the afternoon, the stayers looked as if they were about to settle in, if not at Ivanhoe, then somewhere else. And the general view was that it had been an excellent day of good food and good fellowship.

Events are scheduled for the next two Saturdays, but it is anticipated that many people might want to use the time to spend with family and friends, or to prepare for the following day’s festivities. So, if sufficient people register to play (ie at least six), there will be a competition for points and handicapping with the usual NTPs. If fewer than six register/turn up, we will hold a booking and a social round can be played.

In the meantime, here is a wish for everybody to have a very merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year. We look forward to seeing you all again on the green, green fields of Ivanhoe. But, don’t forget, subs are due, and we will have to deregister any GA memberships that are not paid/firmly committed by 26th December.

Results for Saturday, 17 Dec 2022
1st Rajesh Mahto (42) 2nd Harry Boughen (39) 3rd Craig Cameron (36) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan (35) 5th Chris Priems (34)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (39) 2nd Craig Cameron (36) 3rd Chris Priems (34)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Michael Gourlay BallPin No 1 – 15th Michael Gourlay BallPin No 2 – 18th Craig Cameron