What happened out there today?  OK, there was a hint of a chill in the air and there had been a hint of a sprinkling of rain, the wind was mostly benign with only a few gusts here and there, so what happened to the scoring?  Although the field was reasonably small, presumably because everybody had headed off to Canberra to collect their Australia Day gongs, or something similar anyway, we could only manage four birdies between the lot of us.  The event scores struggled as well with the only players suffering cuts being the joint winners, Keith  and Pepsi who both fronted the judges with an exactly square card.  Keith was looking pretty pleased about his first win since his come-back to the Club and he was keeping a firm grip on his winnings and his brand new Club Shirt which will be quite a change from the vintage one that he was wearing.

Bill and Noodles were the next two to front the judges just a point behind the winners and both left the odd point out there.  Noodles is considering changing to yellow balls as about the only time he scored was when he was in the driving seat of the yellow peril.

Then came a veritable herd of players another stroke behind on -2.  This elite group included Brendon, Targe, Mehmet, Eddie and Oliver.  Oliver only made it into this group due to a small error in working out one of his  hole scores.  He was in a hurry to get away, but it does pay to check the hole by hole scores before you sign the card.   This left Chrispy on his ownsome in fourth place although he did go on record as being a bit embarrassed to be getting points with that sort of a score.  How then must MalF, MalA and RodG feel getting points with even fewer.  And what about Harry and Laurie who were the only two that didn’t get points.

The other event for the day was the first of the Orange Ball Teams which ended up being a bit Irish as it was played with yellow balls.  Oh well, can’t have everything.  It is a bit unclear what caused the most confusion, how to play the coloured ball event or how the new GA handicap system was supposed to work.  In the end, most seem to have got the hang of the event and the field was evenly divided on whether to score the event with both Par and Stableford points.  One possible cause of confusion on the scoring front.  Next week in the stroke event, you will definitely have to record Stableford scores on your card but you still have to play the hole right out for the purposes of the competition result.

Anyhow, despite all that, only two teams produced viable cards, the others either losing or OOBing balls both of which are equivalent and result in a NCR result.  Between the two teams that did survive the distance, the winning score of -2 was carded by Team Eddie, ably assisted by Mehm, Oliver and Keith.  One stroke behind, and good players out of luck, were  Harry, Peps, MalA and Noodles.  Noodles was wondering whether we could allocate points to the winning team members in a sort of Coloured Ball Championship.  Hmmmm!  have to think about that one and Brendon is having enough apoplectic fits about the finances as it is.

The Ball Nearest the Pin was on the 12th (and a thumbs down to the last group for not picking up either marker) where Harry eased Brendon out of the contest and this after Brendon made rude signs as he held up the following group while he put the marker on his spot.  The ProPin on the 4th was collected by a yellow ball struck ever so delicately by Targe who even seemed a little surprised that he had won it.

First of all, there are some congratulations to Craig and his lovely wife who are now the proud owners of a bouncing baby girl named Dakota Rose.  It has been suggested that Snags went through more pain than the mother but he seems to have settled into the fatherly role with ease and is goo-ing and gaa-ing like a seasoned performer.  Well done the Sharps.

MalA was hitting the ball right on the button today.  In particular, the button on Brendon’s electric buggy that was parked, with Brendon fairly adjacent so could have been worse, near the 14th green.  The knob was broken and the shaft was bent so that no power could be applied and Brendon had to push for the rest of the round.  It was lucky it wasn’t earlier in the round or the pain might have been even greater.

Pepsi kept making the point that he hadn’t picked up a club for four weeks and as a result he was a bit rusty.  After a tee shot on the 13th that ‘should’ have been OOB and a second that ‘should’ have been in the lateral hazard, he still managed to par the hole.  Laurie was another who made a valiant effort on the 16th when he was in the drivers seat for the Orange ball and managed to bring in a plus for the side only to be disappointed that it was to no avail as the ball had been OOB on the 14th and no longer in the competition.

Mehm and Ed had some sort of a discussion about whether to play a shot over trees and Ed’s advice was that Mehm should.  As Mehm was taking his swing to attempt the shot (and could this be construed as taking advice?)  Ed made the throw away comment that he would not try that sort of a shot.  Keith’s reputation has apparently gotten around the ibis population on the course.   Walking past a foraging ibis on the course, Chris made the comment that it should watch out as Keith was in the group behind with which the ibis looked startled and flew off never to be seen again.  Maybe Keith can get rid of the fruit bats at Yarra Bend as well.  Editor’s Note: no birds were injured in producing the ibis photographs in last weeks blog.

Don’t forget, subs are due.  The new Club shirts are available.  The matchplay draw will be made next week.  It will be an all in affair.  If you can’t play or can’t play within the deadline, it will be a walk-over for whoever draws you.  There will be no extensions of time and no correspondence will be entered into.

Who said he would be half asleep after being out on the roads until 0200?  Maybe it helped him keep his head down.  Whatever the reason, SOS really hit his straps today and managed 40 points with three one pointers in the tally and nary a birdie to give the numbers a boost either, just good steady golf.  He also ratted the Propin booty on the 18th with a shot that didn’t inspire but was enough to ease out Gordon by a whisker in the run for the Jackpot.

Snags and Targe had been sitting down quietly confident of their chances with 39 points apiece and they could have easily grabbed the top spot with the form that they showed except for a little sprinkling of no-score holes.  Craig had to rush off because he was having a baby or something – or maybe that was his wife having a baby.  A bit hard to tell which really.

Chrispy and Zimmer played together and stayed together on the scoring front to come in next with a very creditable 38 points both faltering a bit on the back nine though Zim had no problem driving the green on the 14th – while there were still people on it.  More than a little consternation when it appeared that Eddie had played the ball back in the direction it came though there was a little sleight of hand involved on Eddies part.  Once again guys, if you can put the group in front in danger, wait a few moments or at least let the shorter hitters play first.  Although registered golfers do have insurance cover, we would rather not put it to the test.

Bill the Beast put on another birdie fest today, gobbling up four, including two consecutive, on his way to fourth place on his Pat Malone and to open up a very handy lead in the Eclectic.  Mehmet, Harry, Brendon and Keith filled out the last rank of point scorers and will be back with exactly the same handicap next week having put together 36 points.  Keith didn’t get mentioned in despatches due to a calculation error on his card and there were a couple of lower ranked players in the same boat as well.  Possibly it is down to handicap changes changing the holes that you get strokes on so it always pays to double check where you get strokes each and every round.

The nearest the Pin for a ball on the 12th went to Zimmer.  Seniors points to Targe, Bill, Harry and Keith

Now you’ve undoubtedly heard of eagles and albatrosses, but have you heard of an ibis!  Not sure whether this one is likely to attract any awards or shouts of the bar, but Keith managed to score one today.  Apparently collected one dead centre with one of his usual power shots leaving said bird in dire straits and beyond the option of calling animal rescue.  Keith was heard to ask which club he should use to finish the job and the Rules Committee are now in session to determine whether this constitutes taking advice.  The other question up for consideration is whether he should have counted the strokes that he took to despatch the unfortunate creature of which there were several.  The image at left shows the before and after shots.  Hopefully the RSPCA does not monitor this site.

While all this was going on, Oliver took to his tee but was so distracted by the guffawing of his playing partners that he shanked his shot something fierce and ended up somewhere about two fairways across.  He then threaded it through a couple of lots of trees and went very close to parring the hole.  Just shows what the reigning Club Champion is capable of and maybe just why he holds that position.

Not sure whether it was related to the new bird on the block, but there was some interesting discussion about what the protocol was with celebrations in the event of someone scoring a hole-in-one – in particular in relation to who should pay and who should receive the largesse.

MalF didn’t have the best of days today but he reckons it was because he was carrying SOS.  Obviously did a very good job of it.

Brendon appeared back at the Club House after stowing his clubs, all distressed because his car had a flat.  Did anybody have a compressor?  Can anybody give me a lift?  What should I do?  Have you got a spare –  was an obvious response.  When it was determined that such a thing existed it was agreed that reasonable assistance was in order

As a result, a reasonable crowd gathered around  and made appropriate assistance noises while the flat tyre was removed and the spare was put in place for the trip to Beaurepaires or wherever.

The removal and replacement of the locking nut did have its moments and SOS obviously put his dealing with offenders training to good use to explain some of the intricacies of the procedure to Brendon.  Maybe we should take a lead from Europe and get these installed.

The Annual Membership fee is now due and payable.  For Home Club members (that is, those who get their official handicap through us) the sub will be $110 ($90 +$20).  For non-Home Club members (those who get their GolfLink membership with another Club membership) the Club sub only applies though there might be a small surcharge when the invoice from GolfLink is received and we have full details.

The new Club tee-shirts will also be available next week and you should be prepared to ante up the fee for those as well to the tune of $20.  They should be very smart in the bright new colour with the new Club Logo.  If you are not sure what the logo looks like, have a look at the web-page header.

Don’t forget the Orange Ball Event next week.  There will be several of these through the year associated with Club Par Events (not majors) and they will be listed on the calendar along with some rearrangements of the schedule.  So, if you have printed one out already, it might pay you to do so again after the new version goes up.  An APB will advise when it does.

Results for Saturday, 18 January 2014
1st Stephen O’Sullivan(40) 2nd Targe Mifsud(39) 2nd Craig Sharp(39) 3rd Kazim Akdag(38) 3rd Chris Priems(38) 4th Bill Eastoe(37) 5th Mehmet Akdag(36) 5th Harry Boughen(36) 5th Keith Delzoppo(36) 5th Brendon Mitchell(36)

While the cat’s away the mice will play – well, one mouse anyway!  Out of a field of 17 (16 members and one guest)  there were only two who went anywhere near taking the course apart and one of them was Mr Perseverance himself,  Trevor.  Trevor has been bragging about the good that his new equipment has done him and it certainly seems to have kept him on the straight and narrow this week, particularly with the flat stick.  No less than 7 (yes seven) one putt greens but other than that he only played average (according to Trev at any rate).  As they say in the classics – you drive for show but you putt for dough and Trevor did his standing in the Championship tables no harm with today’s performance.

Mehmet probably thought he had a chance with his +4 but he was destined to be the bridesmaid once more but with a few Championship points to go along with his new handicap.  At least he can console himself that he can be back to his old handicap a lot sooner than Trev can.

Another sliver of daylight then to a bit of a cluster with Chrispy, who seems to be putting together a bit of a run of form, Targe and Bill.  Of the nine birdies today, Bill totted up three of them and in the process took a giant leap up the eclectic table.  Following close behind with square cards (and hardly a square amongst them) were Snags, Brendon, Gordo and SOS.  Last in the points gatherers, but by no means least were Noodles and Oliver who is hanging in there ever so quietly gathering points.

Will Ghidetti was our guest again after a bit of a break and he has now submitted his third card and will be eligible for competition.  In the process, he managed to score the Nearest the Pin on the Ball Hole.  Well done Will and welcome to our happy little clan.  Everybody must be flush after the silly season and didn’t try hard enough on the ProPin hole and that will Jackpot to next week.  What’s the bet that there are some hungry sharks about next time?  Although there were a sprinkling of Birdies scored on the day, the poor old Eagle is absolutely devastated and it now seems almost certain that Damo will not be giving back that loaner that he has been using the last few weeks.  A drive from the 14th tee finished about 2m off the green and from there he calmly chipped it in to score enough balls to keep him out of the Pro-shop for quite a while.  Ah well, back to square one for the big bird.

There should have been a lot of ‘fours’ (or should that be ‘fores’) on the cards as it seems that there were a number of close calls.  Try to keep your abilities and course etiquette in mind when you are out there, we would hate to have something nasty happen and we want everybody to have a good time not hospital time.

Results for Saturday, 11 January 2014
1st Trevor Jackson(+6) 2nd Mehmet Akdag(+4) 3rd Bill Eastoe(+1) 3rd Targe Mifsud(+1) 3rd Chris Priems(+1) 4th Gordon Hill(□) 4th Brendon Mitchell(□) 4th Craig Sharp(□) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan(□) 5th Stephen Butterfield(-1) 5th Oliver Gross(-1)

Where were you? Not everybody could have been off swanning it around the map of Tasmania.  However, we are coming out of the silly season and there were no slap up lunches on offer.  Fifteen members and one visitor made up the complement for today’s outing on the verdant green of Ivanhoe – or is that too many big words?

Santa was obviously very kind to Mehm as he was out and about sporting a brand new cart and who knows what else.  One of those remote control jobs like SOS has.  Mehm was seen acting the hoon and doing doughnuts at the second tee.  Maybe we could fit SOS  out with blues and twos (or whatever we call lights and sirens in Oz) and they could play chasies.  Maybe Santa also included a new swing (not the backyard kiddie type) because Mehm put together a memorable round to almost street the field with a nett 65 which, interestingly, did not include a single birdie and had a double bogie on the last.  Was he lying down?  Well done Mehm the Monthly Medallist.

Oliver’s playing partners were apparently making a good effort at putting him off his game by chatting while he made his strokes, double checking his score and regaling him with some new blasphemy but they didn’t succeed.  Oliver seems to be keeping up his good form as last years Club Champion and came in on his own in second place with a nett 67.

Then came the clusters.  Harry, Noodles and Eddie were the next cabs off the rank having very cunningly played exactly to their handicap so no problems remembering what handicap to play off next time around.

The next cluster was another mixed blend of seniors and juniors with RodG, Dennis and Damo sharing the honours.  They were followed by Targe and Chrispy.  And this after Chris was heard to say during the round that, as Club Captain, he was going to ban the playing of stroke rounds ever again.  Maybe the new position is going to his head.

That left only four (and a half) players not in a podium position.  No names, no packdrill but if you want to know who they are you can work it out for yourselves.

David is in the process of staining his deck and was wondering why there was no gadget available to do between the planks easily.  When it was suggested that perhaps he could invent one himself, it obviously got him thinking because he rushed off home after nine to have a cup of tea, a Bex and a good lie down.

Damo reckons he had at least eleven birdie putts today and didn’t make one of them though the majority missed by the narrowest of margins.  If he had made them all, Mehm wouldn’t have stood a chance.  Harry did manage a birdie on the 11th after his approach shot missed the hole by a hairs breadth and finished about 50mm past.  There were a total of 9 birdies today and three of those were down to Noodles so there has probably been a few changes in the Eclectic standings.  Speaking of which, check your scores in the table and if you think anything has been missed, let the Handicapper know.

The ProPin on the 12th went to Harry who finished about 1.8m short of the hole but he didn’t make the birdie (two in a row would have been nice).  Although the nearest the Pin for a ball on the 18th was announced and the marker was prominently placed near the edge of the green adjacent to the hole a couple of people were on the green but didn’t know/see and so the ball went begging.

Our visitor was Atila, from Adelaide, and he has played the course before – about fourteen years ago.  He was using a borrowed set of clubs and managed 79 off the stick.  Maybe it is a good thing that he is a bit far away to be a regular member.

SOS didn’t have a very good day at the office.  He managed to rack up a 12 on one hole (the 8th).  The three balls out of bounds did not help.   Craig, besides teaching Oliver some of the subtleties of Aussie English, showed a fine turn of phrase when he reckoned he has struck a rich vein of form.  Good thing he doesn’t work in the mining industry!

Results for Saturday, 04 January 2014
1st Mehmet Akdag(65) 2nd Oliver Gross(67) 3rd Harry Boughen(68) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(68) 3rd Ed Kloprogge(68) 4th Rod Grant(69) 4th Damien Lee(69) 4th Dennis Tiernan(69) 5th Targe Mifsud(71) 5th Chris Priems(71)