There could have been fifteen players out on the course today.  For some reason, and it could have been down to some shenanigans last night, JohnQ, Stef and Mehmet pulled the plug at the last minute.  Gordon, on the other hand, put his licence on the line and made it to the course but SOS didn’t need a PBT to guess what he had been up to.  And, according to all reports, Mehm is a better dealer than he is a poker player.  What we did have to do, though, was to welcome back a long lost member of the Akdag clan and Ben has decided that he wants to join our happy throng again after a break of three years.  And what better way to make a come-back than to join in the fun and frivolity of a round of Ambrose to celebrate the passing of the Solstice and the lengthening of the days to come.  Certainly better than a dip in the Bay in the altogether (perish the thought).

Despite a couple arcing up and claiming they didn’t know it was on and threatening to go home, it seems that they went out and really did quite enjoy themselves if the banter around the tables after the round was any guide.  Ben went into the draw (not by computer, thanks a lot Mr Gates) with the handicap that he left off with and helped his team with what was claimed to be the putt of the day by sinking one from about 6m out on the 10th to bring home a birdie and a four pointer.  Team mate Jason pulled out a corker shot on the 18th to put the ball 63cm from the hole and the team scored another birdie.  But, unfortunately, it wasn’t for the 4 points that went on their card.  Sort of explains why SOS’s team would have won outright on net score but tied on Stableford.  The scrutineers will have to be more scrupulous next time.

The ‘unlucky’ second placed team consisted of Blighty, Harry, Pugsie and SOS who were expertly captained by SOS as Captain P was not necessarily in the best condition to do so.  On the 13th, SOS’s ball was far and away the best placed despite Harry and Blighty still needing a drive apiece.  The second shots were variable until SOS stepped up to the mark, started the ball left of the line, brought it off the bank and finished it a couple of metres from the pin.  He then sank the putt and made the birdie in his own right, something he has not done in competition for a long time.  Blighty was a bit disgruntled at having to walk forward some 50m to collect his ball when it was decided to take Harry’s spot for his last compulsory tee shot on the 16th rather than risk having to rely on it for the last two holes.

Brendon’s shot on the 12th was not much off a metre from the hole and that was more than enough to win him the BallPin.  The sad thing is that all four putts failed to make it into the hole and so that was one birdie that didn’t go onto the total of fifteen for the day.  The curious thing is that they were all good putts, they just didn’t go into the hole.  Ain’t that always the way, hey.  Dennis was one that should have taken a shot on the 16th, particularly when his tee shot on the 17th was well struck but way off line into the trees.  So the pressure was really on for the 18th.  But the team did manage to par the hole so the shot can’t have been too bad.

SOS was so confident as to how the day was going to go that he struck an agreement on the first that there would be no shouts for draughties and that any ProPins won would be share and share alike.  Fortunately and unfortunately, as the case may be, neither agreement was required.  But, there will be another chance next week as the ProPin on the 15th remained elusive and there will be a Double Jackpot waiting for some lucky punter (or punters).

Simon is off overseas later in the year and he is looking for advice on things that he can do in or around Paris for five days.  As well as the Folies, the museums, the art galleries, Versailles etc, surely Disneyland should be high on the list.  You never know, he might be able to score better there than he does on the scorecard (if you believe his playing companions).  And don’t get excited Simon, the Seniors results are just for fun!

Results for Saturday, 23 June 2018
1st Benan Akdag, Stephen Butterfield, Jason Hopkins, Targe Mifsud (48 c/b – should have checked!!!) 2nd Andrew Blight, Harry Boughen, Gordon Hill, Stephen O’Sullivan (48 unlucky) 3rd Brendon Mitchell, Simon Powell, Dennis Ward, Rodney White (47)

Seniors Results: 1st Targe Mifsud 2nd Harry Boughen, Gordon Hill 3rd Simon Powell, Dennis Ward

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jason Hopkins BallPin 12th Brendon Mitchell

Well it wasn’t quite the day that the sun stood still (that comes later in the week) but there were some other dire forecasts about impending rain and there were a few anxious eyes cast to the skies when a hand-full of drops fell on about the 14th.  A few spots was all it was and the wind was a mere zephyr compared to what you can get on King Island although some did complain about the effect it was having on the flight of the ball.  Or was that just crappy ball striking?  So, everybody finished dry if a little chilled around the extremities though there was one set of shorts out of the cupboard with a cheery observation that the temperature was as much as seven degrees.  Obviously never heard of wind-chill!

The surgeon obviously did more than just fix Ryan’s knee.  He has obviously fixed his golf game as well.  Or, maybe, he was stung by his second placing last week to try a little harder today.  He tried so much harder that he absolutely blitzed the field and coasted home to take the points and a clear lead in the Championship with a +5 result.  The win and the bust caused a bit of harm on the handicap front and the margin in the Eclectic is back down to a more achievable level.  Ryan went close to adding to his laurels on the 17th.  With the tee well to the front, the pin was actually visible and Ryan went for it and finished only a metre or so away from the mark.  The putt slipped by and so the Eagle could breathe easy and add another egg to the nest for next week.  The birdie was easily done and brought the total for the day to six which is probably a bit low for a field of 17 players.

Blighty started off a bit shaky, particularly off the tee.  But, later in the round, after analysing his swing and deciding to stop trying to ‘steer’ the ball, he really started to ‘cream’ it and with a bit of sharp play around the greens the scoring rate improved and he ended the day in positive territory to take the second place points in the main event and the top points in the Seniors.

Mattie started out with a burst and racked up five plusses in seven holes.  This pretty much broke the Beast’s heart as the pair of them were slugging it out in the Matchplay semi-final as well.  This burst left Matt with an impressive lead of four up and, try as he might, Bill was struggling to reel him back in although he had made up a couple by the 14th.  Matt got a bit of a second wind however and the match went dormie three.  Another win on the 16th clinched the deal and Matt took the match with a convincing 4 and 2.  Matt now meets JQ in the Final and Bill will play off for third against Stefan.  All will get points.

Trevor was in a group with Bob and between the pair of them they seem to have had more than a little trouble with knowing how many and which holes Trev had two strokes on.  The upshot was that Trev moved up into 4th place and joined Whitey on the podium with a score line of -1  And just a point behind to collect the last points for the day were Whitey and Dale.

Dale had another little victory today when he put his drive on the 12th to about a metre from the hole to collect the BallPin trophy for the day.  The two ProPins were on the 15th and the 18th and both of them went begging so there will be a reasonable stash of cash up for grabs next week.

Jason pulled one of his trick shots out of the bag today when the ball finished behind him.  He didn’t hit a tree or a post or a buggy.  He almost didn’t hit the ball and topped it so much that it took back=spin when it hit the ground and ran back the way it came to finish where it did.  Harry reckons that he has been making so many ‘scones’ lately that he is thinking of joining the CWA.

Chrispy’s drive on the 13th headed so far left that it was deemed to be OOB for sure.  On proceeding to the area, the ball was found lying on the roadway.  Chris reckons that it must have hit a house to have come that far back out.  Chris also found a ball inscribed with ‘chinese’ characters by the 18th green.  He reckons it was as hard as the floor tiles in the club-house and when he despatched it towards the river, he worried that he might have damaged his club.

A member of the public was spotted wandering aimlessly across the 14th and 16th fairways staring intently at some sort of device.  It seems that Pokemon Go has made some sort of a come-back and perhaps this was a symptom of that particular craze.  Either that or stupidity (or both).

JQ  used his son’s swimming lesson as an excuse to drop into the Clubhouse.  However, we all know that he was really there to suss out who he was going to have to play in the final for the Matchplay Championship.  He obviously means business since he seems to have picked up a brand new set of clubs that have been made especially to fit.

Brent also has a little trick that could be classified as a bit on the gruesome side.  It seems that his little finger on his left hand dislocates rather easily and, a couple of times today, it popped out in the course of a swing at the ball.  Just as easily popped back in, it seems.  Whether this contributed to the lack of a placing today is still undetermined.

Brendon was checking on the guidelines for setting up a course for play and, in particular to positioning of the pin on the green.  The guide indicates that it should be not less than ‘four paces’ (say three metres) from the edge.  There are a few other criteria as well.  The feeling is that these guidelines have not been followed on this course for some considerable time.  And these are not the only ones but let’s not go there.

Results for Saturday, 16 June 2018
1st Ryan Porker(+5) 2nd Andrew Blight(+1) 3rd Matt Hunt(□) 4th Trevor Jackson(-1) 4th Rodney White(-1) 5th Stephen Butterfield(-2) 5th Dale Webb(-2)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Blight (+1) 2nd Trevor Jackson (-1) 3rd Bill Eastoe (-3) 3rd Dennis Ward (-3) 3rd Simon Powell (-3)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 12th Dale Webb

While the cat was away, fourteen mice came out to play.  It seems that Madge’s birthday and, possibly the bit of rain over night and with a few sprinkles still around early served to keep the numbers down a bit.  But, the course management deemed the ground damp enough to warrant preferred lies.  So, that would have made those calling for that relief over the last couple of weeks happy as a result.  The big question would have to be, did the relief make for better scoring or not?

Perhaps the conclusion could be that it didn’t as, in line with recent weeks, the number of players breaking their handicap was pretty low.  In fact, only one person managed to do so and, in the process of winning the day with 37 points, Damo propelled himself to the top of the Championship Table and he also boasts a very impressive strike rate of over three points per round to head the table of all comers in the Vardon Trophy.  Now all he has to do is to turn up a few more times to join the ‘qualifiers’.  Maybe it was the warm head and ears that allowed him to maintain focus.

But obviously not focussed enough to pull of a ‘slam-dunk’ on the 7th.  A picture is worth a thousand words so that saves the agony of having to write (and read) that many on the subject.  Needless to say, Damien made the birdie and contributed to the total of 9 that were made for the day.

Captain Pugwash managed not to sink his barge in the canals of France but he did manage to sink large quantities of cheese and wine.  He claims not to have touched a club while away so French wine and cheese is obviously good for your game.  The other thing that might be good for your game is knee surgery although a boating holiday in France is probably to be preferred.  Ryan wasted no time after his return to the playing field snaring the second place alongside Gordon to put himself to the top of the Championship Table beside Damo and a couple of birdies did his position in the Eclectic no harm and he is now holding an impressive lead in that event.

JohnQ was doubly occupied today.  Not only did he have to concentrate on the day’s event, he also had to concentrate on his semi-final match with Stefan.  He played well enough to get third place on the day and also well enough to beat out Stef in the match 2 and 1.  It was a close fought match with the lead changing several times and the position being all square after 14 holes.  Consecutive wins by John made the match dormie two.  Stef needed a birdie to win the 17th but didn’t quite manage it and the squared hole gave the match to John.  And who’s been talking himself down for the last three rounds?  Anyway, back to the day’s results.  Joe also managed to get 35 points to share third place.  Joe might be a tad disappointed though having started the round like a house on fire to card 22 points on the front only to fade  on the back.  Dale, on the other hand could have been forgiven for going home after the front only to come home with all guns blazing and making twenty points on the back to bring his total for the day to 29.

Simon has been consulting with his coach again and his driver was working a treat after a couple of little tweaks.  Some dark mutterings could be heard around the greens which suggests that some more time in the back yard might be warranted.  The cats are probably safe though as the second place in the Seniors gives him back a bit of a lead over Harry.

There were a swag of members lining up for the last point of the day and, although some Michaels might quibble about getting points for a card of 32 points, Stef, Noodles, Jason and Dennis will surely not complain.

The BallPin was on the 15th and JQ squeezed out Dale for the ball although he didn’t put it close enough to get the birdie.  The first ProPin was on the 12th and Porks made a meal of it by getting to 2.26m.  Joe snared the money from the 18th with a shot to 4.12m.

The practice putting green has been closed for maintenance and staff were being very vigilant to ensure that there was no trespassing.  Perhaps the lack of pre-game practice contributed to the low scoring.  Targe in particular missed several from close range although he did compensate a little by sinking a couple of ‘monsters’.

RodW decided to by-pass his putter on the 8th and chipped from the back of the green and right into the hole.  Possibly one of the highlights of his day.  Dennis is thinking of becoming an arborist after getting up close and personal with a rather large tree on the 9th.

Other than Her Madge, the Birthday Birdie has had little to do this week.  There were no draughties reported so either everybody was very quiet or, like Si, their drivers were working well.

Results for Saturday, 09 June 2018
1st Damien Lee(37) 2nd Gordon Hill(36) 2nd Ryan Porker(36) 3rd John Quinlan(35) 3rd Joe Wagenecht(35) 4th Simon Powell(33) 5th Stefan Belevski(32) 5th Stephen Butterfield(32) 5th Jason Hopkins(32) 5th Dennis Ward(32)

Seniors Results: 1st Gordon Hill (36) 2nd Simon Powell (33) 3rd Dennis Ward (32)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Ryan Porker ProPin No 2 18th Joe Wagenecht BallPin 15th John Quinlan

It was on the 7th green that Simon looked at his Dick Tracy watch and announced calmly that it had just ticked over to 4C.  The Yarra flats at Templestowe had indicated 0.5C on the way to the course but there was no actual frost on the ground though a slight indication of a ‘crunch’ underfoot was detected at one stage.  In other words it was c-c-c-c-c-c-cold and the Proshop did a roaring trade in hand warmers and there were lengthy discussions about the merits of different grades of such devices and the use or otherwise of the winter golf gloves on offer.  And, it seemed to have showed up in the score-cards with the majority of the 19 members who braved the freeze doing significantly less well on the front nine compared to the back.

Overall nobody really set the world on fire and that seems to have applied even outside our field as the DSR for the inside comp was 66 which is probably as high as it has been since the system was introduced.  So, on that basis, it is probably no embarassment that the winning score today was a handicap matching 68 nett.  There were three people who attained that heady goal in the persons of Harry, MattH and Trev and so there needed to be a count-back to determine who was to collect the June Monthly Medal.  With his ‘almost’ personal best score on the back nine of 39 off the stick, Harry took the prize (nett 30) from MattH (nett 32) and Trev (nett 34.5).  After posting two triples and two doubles on the front,  Harry could be excused for thinking his chances were gone but it just goes to show that you should never give up hope.  Trev, on the other hand was about the only one to do worse on the back than on the front and that could easily have cost him the trophy.

Two strokes back were a gaggle of players.  Noodles was pretty unhappy that he had too many three putt greens but then isn’t just one three putt green too many?  Jason just played a boring game and seemingly played with a group of similarly boring partners if his response to a request for tall tales and true was any guide.  MattN made good use of his last ‘regular’ day with us before he heads up to Sinney to hang out with the rabbits up there though there would seem to be little truth in the rumour that he has been recruited as a front row forward.  And, as for Simon, his main worry, besides trying to be not too far behind Harry in the Seniors point scoring was to get away to sell off the family jewels in the form of his mother’s home of many years.

JohnQ pleaded the effects of a cold as he lined up this morning and prepared to do battle with Damo in their Matchplay match.  Obviously setting himself up with an excuse in the event that he went down.  But more of that later.  He obviously played well enough to get himself a third placing with his 71 and he didn’t have to share the podium with anyone.  Michael seems to have acquired an addiction to coffee as he got rather excited when Dennis sprayed his drive on the second into the trees on the right and the ball fell straight to earth somewhere in the vicinity of the red markers.  Dennis had almost resigned himself to his fate but, as it turned out, Michael’s anticipation was premature and the balls was found to be far enough forward and no ’round’ was in order.

The same can’t be said for the group of players who accompanied Pepsi today.  Although he was able to score well enough to match Michael on the podium, Pepsi did manage a power shank from the 7th tee to catch a tree and a ricochet back onto the path beside the tee box.  His nearest relief can be seen in the accompanying shot.  When his mates necked their mid-strengths later there was a suggestion that they tasted  a bit salty.  Something to with what Peps said he was going to put in them it seems.  Wonder if it is like putting lemon in Coronas?

Mal and Damo rounded out the points scoring brigade but, by the time that all the point scorers had been read out, SOS was well and truly to the bottom of his page and the number of pointless players was pretty small indeed.

The BallPin was on the 15th and Harry flew his straight for the pin but the ball made a 25mm deep pitch mark on the green and pulled up in very short order so it is not surprising that he was outdone by Stef who collected the ball on offer.  The first ProPin was on the 12th and, while Michael did a pretty good job of getting it close, Pepsi pinched it away by making it to 1.58m.  Not to be outdone, Michael also put it close on the 18th to 1.95m and remained unchallenged to collect the money on this hole for the second week in a row.  He missed out on the inside cash this week though so he will have to pay his own way next week.  He also did not make the birdie although there were a couple on his card and that helped us get to a total of nine for the day.

The last of the quarter-finals in the matchplay was completed today so everybody left in at least gets some points for their trouble.  The much anticipated clash was between Damo and JQ and, as mentioned earlier, JQ seemed to be preparing his excuses by declaring that he was only playing because it was this stage of the competition.  And, you could have been forgiven for thinking that he was going to need all of his excuses as Damo appeared to be doing it easy with the scoreline at four up in his favour after seven holes.  However, it seems that John got the chip off his shoulder and put it to work on the course to bring the match back to square after another five holes.  From there on, they swapped blows until the match went dormie one and with no stroke for John on the last a repair to the chip off green looked to be a good chance.  Unfortunately for Damien he was unable to make the par on the 18th and John took the match one up.

During the week, Dennis had been skiting that he was planning to win himself another medal and that this was going to be the day.  But, it was not to be and some might suggest Karma took her revenge by inflicting the dreaded double digit score on the 5th.  He wasn’t alone in the double digits though as SOS managed one as well on the 13th.   Rob didn’t reach the heady heights of double digits but he did manage a draughtie on the 15th but there is no suggestion that his beers were tainted in any way.  Brother Chris mused on the topic of runs of good form and bemoaned the fact that his seemed to have been a run of one.

President John took the opportunity to farewell MattN as he heads off to green (and red) pastures up north.  He was thanked for his efforts with the job of Tee Marshall and a replacement will definitely be required although Chrispy did indicate that he would be able to help out as well though he won’t be around for the next couple of weeks.  As farewells were made Damo commented that he hadn’t actually played a round with Matt at which the other Matt chimed in that this was probably why MattN had taken on the job as Tee Marshall.  Who needs enemies?

Results for Saturday, 02 June 2018
1st Harry Boughen(68 MM c/b) 1st Matt Hunt(68) 1st Trevor Jackson(68) 2nd Stephen Butterfield(70) 2nd Jason Hopkins(70) 2nd Matt Nicholls(70) 2nd Simon Powell(70) 3rd John Quinlan(71) 4th Michael Gourlay(72) 4th Andrew Petricola(72) 5th Malcolm Fleming(73) 5th Damien Lee(73)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (68) 1st Trevor Jackson (68) 2nd Simon Powell (70) 3rd Malcolm Fleming (73)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Andrew Petricola ProPin No 2 18th Michael Gourlay BallPin 15th Stefan Belevski