Maybe the adjustment to daylight saving time is not yet complete.  The tee marshals were contemplating four groups of three to allow spaces for stragglers but they waited until the close of registrations to start the ‘random’ draw by which time the last minute rush had swelled the numbers to 21.  SOS was running the random number app on his phone but about half way through numbers started repeating and, rather than restart the draw with the chance of the same thing happening again, the good old fill in the missing names in some sort of order completed the draw.  And it was probably as mixed up as it would have been if the app had behaved itself or SOS knew how to run it (whichever was applicable).  In the end, the first group was only a couple of minutes behind the scheduled tee time.

The temperature was a bit fresh to start with but there was a promise of a beautiful day to come and the only thing that should have stood in the way of some really good golf was some slightly long second cut and the dewy greens (at least until the sun got up a bit higher and evaporated it away).  A number of people had adjusted so well to the fast greens at Rich River that the slower pace at Ivanhoe found them coming up short on a regular basis.  Despite the putting woes, we managed to put together eleven birdies for the day.  And that included one from Blighty that bears some telling in more detail.

It was the 14th tee and Blighty went through the careful alignment of the ball to within a second of arc, the pointing of the club to the green, the wiggling of the toes and the club and so on.  The ball headed high and left and Blighty declared that it had probably not cleared the trees and so he played a provisional which suffered a very similar fate.  Brendon took pity and loaned him another provisional ball which Andrew promptly shanked severely and there was a serious chance that the ball had ended in the tennis club car-park.  Fortunately, the ball finished half a metre inside the boundary potentially lying five and still a long way from the green.  Given Blighty’s performance approaching and on the green on some other holes, the potential for a score in double figures was something of a possibility.  Then, a ball was spotted on the green, and, on inspection, it proved to be Andrew’s first ball, no more than half a metre from the hole.  A quick rap with the flat stick knocked it in for the (at first sight) unlikeliest of birdies.  The question was asked, what if the ball had actually finished in the hole.  It would surely have to stand alongside Chrispy’s famous hole-in-one.

Well, enough of that.  Peter was in the first group and came in with a handicap equalling 68 net with which he was pretty pleased but he had resigned himself to somebody turning in a better score.  As the groups and cards trickled in there were lots of scores just one or two strokes behind but still Peter remained convinced that he would be pipped at the post.  The pessimism was entirely unfounded and he remained the Clubhouse leader for the whole day and collected a Monthly Medal in what must be just about record time from joining the Club.  Well done Peter.

There were lots of people just one stroke behind and, with lots of stories of chances left out there, the result could have been entirely different if the golf gods had smiled a different way.  Blighty obviously owes a lot to the 15th.  The Beast blames the trees on the front nine.  Brendon forgot how to chip on the 10th.  Daniel blames the multiple quadruples.  Dennis took about six holes to warm up.  But, they all managed to score the club’s favourite number, 69 net, to take out second place.

Harry’s body has pretty much caught up with the time zone changes and his driver was working well.  Except for the 13th where a near air swing clipped the ball off the tee into the long cut not too far past the red markers.  A couple of shots more to get to the fairway on the hardest hole on the course made the biggest blot on an otherwise excellent back nine.  JohnQ managed to mark nine 5’s on his card and, considering that there is only one par five on the course, that adds up to a fair number of bogies (or worse).  A couple of sixes were even less welcome but he still managed to come in alongside Harry in third place with a score of 70.

Simon was fairly sweating on how Captain Pugwash had fared and he was buzzing around like a bee at a honey-pot as he collected the cards and sorted them out in his role as Acting Club Captain.  In the end, his 71 was enough to get him 4th place though he was claiming that at times he was distracted and missed up to four putts as a result.

Noodles was not having the best sort of day with the putter and at one stage he was threatening it with a similar fate to his 9 iron last week.  It probably saved itself on the last when a longish putt rattled in for a par after any number of three putt holes.  Keith didn’t have any disasters but he didn’t do anything spectacular either.  Matt was still coming down after his famous victory at Rich River although he did beat Rob which puts their personal challenge tally 13 to 6 in Matt’s favour.  Rob is not yet admitting defeat although the number of days that Matt can play for the rest of the year is shrinking fast.  Chrispy was keen to rush off to a family wedding which might explain why he could only manage 72 to tie for 5th place.

For a change, the first ProPin was on the 4th and only one person managed to get their name on the card and that was Peter who managed to sneak just inside the limit at 4.7m.  The BallPin was on the 12th and Simon was having a whinge that he was close but about 25mm off the green.  As a result, Brendon, who did leave his ball on the green closer than anybody else, collected the ball on offer.  The ProPin on the 18th, which saw the pin on the upper level, also went off with the Beast getting the nod with his strike to 2.74m.

There was one confirmed and one suspected draughtie today.  The first was down to Rob who managed to move the ball a mere 150mm from his tee on the 8th.  The disputed one was down to Dennis on the 15th.  The shot finished in the trees.  Two balls were found.  Both were the same brand, same number and with very similar dot markings on them.  One was behind the red markers, the other in front.  Dennis insists that the ball found in front of the red markers was his.  His playing companions remain unconvinced.

The Beast was walking down the 14th when a ball fairly whistled over his head it was travelling so fast.  Peter had smashed one from the 16th tee over the trees and along the 14th to finish at the end of the path down from the 14th tee.  There was a bit of a following wind but an impressive blow in anybody’s terms. And, while on the topic of the Beast, he is credited with the par of the day on the 13th.  His drive finished on the 10th and the second shot finished almost in the hazard with no view of the green due to the trees.  The next shot finished on the green and the putt rattled in for the par.

Porks hit a screamer down the centre of the 11th.  Nobody is quite sure and they are blaming the wind (what wind?) but it suddenly took a left turn and finished on the 6th.  On the same hole Noodles hit a beautiful drawing shot that finished about 20m from the green.  On the basis of previous performance with the putter Brendon remarked ‘chip and three putts’ to finish it.  Which Noodles promptly did.

After discussions at Rich River last weekend, next year’s Annual Challenge will be contested at Rich River but the event will be moved away from the school holidays and start of daylight saving time.  A booking has been made for the second week in September and a deposit has to be made by the end of October to secure the booking.  Gordon will be circulating members to get expressions of interest and holding deposits to minimise the draw-down of Club funds.

Results for Saturday, 13 October 2018
1st Peter Damou(68) 2nd Andrew Blight(69) 2nd Bill Eastoe(69) 2nd Brendon Mitchell(69) 2nd Daniel O’Rourke(69) 2nd Dennis Ward(69) 3rd Harry Boughen(70) 3rd John Quinlan(70) 4th Simon Powell(71) 5th Stephen Butterfield(72) 5th Keith Delzoppo(72) 5th Matt Hunt(72) 5th Chris Priems(72)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Blight (69) 1st Bill Eastoe (69) 1st Dennis Ward (69) 2nd Harry Boughen (70) 3rd Simon Powell (71)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 4th Peter Damou ProPin No 2 18th Bill Eastoe BallPin 12th Brendon Mitchell

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‘Prestidious is a word, isn’t it?’ said Rob as he waxed lyrical about his mate Matt taking the mustard jacket back to The Basin for the third time in four years.  Unfortunately, the defending champion was not present to wear the jacket to the Saturday dinner and to present it to the new champion but a couple of things intervened to keep him away.  There must be something in the water at Ivanhoe with a set of twins presented to Brent recently following not so long after ChrisV suffered the same fate.  Congratulations, and well done, to Brent and Emma.  Carolyn is, apparently, beside herself and over the moon if such a juxtaposition is possible in this universe.

It was probably some sort of a record for attendance between the two venues.  Nineteen members and one guest tried their hand at the Rich River layout in Moama while twelve members set out to tackle the rather more benign Ivanhoe set-up.  Trevor decided that he needed a bit of exercise and opted to walk the Ivanhoe course but the hill up from the 13th proved to be a step too far and he had to retire from the event.  A brave effort.

Ivanhoe was set up on the black course for the Clubhouse Monthly Medal and the course was in good condition with the greens having been freshly mowed though there were still a few problems with the flat stick for some players.  Simon had worked hard to drum up support for the event at Ivanhoe and he thought he had cracked and shared top spot in both championship points with a card of 37 points.  Except that Blighty and his marker had missed a point on one hole and when the checks came in it was Andrew who scored the double header on his own with 38 points.

RodG finally lashed out and bought himself a new driver a few weeks back and he seems to have mastered the beast and is hitting the centre of the fairway with great regularity.  He came home with an impressive 23 points on the back nine including a four pointer for a chip in for par on the 16th and an equally impressive birdie on the 18th.  That birdie was one of nine for the day.

Pepsi might have been better placed if it hadn’t been for finding OOB and the water on the 17th and he had to settle for 4th place with his card of 33 points.  Joe rounded out the point-getters with his 32.

There was apparently a bit of angst due to slow play and all members should remember the requirement that your group should keep up with the group in front and not just in front of the group behind.  However, we should also remember that new players should be coached and encouraged but should not be vilified.

The Nearest the Pin competitions were not contested.

Meanwhile, back in the jungle.

On Saturday, the round was played on the rather tougher East Course at Rich River and the scattering of water hazards took in their fair share of balls.  The tree lined fairways were eminently capable of punishing anybody straying from the turfed area.  The greens were true and fast particularly after the dew had burned off.  This meant little to Matt who, after a few holes to warm up, blasted them down the centre and followed up with accurate chipping and putting.  His 35 points put him in the box seat but with only a single point separating him from Dave who seems to have a happy knack of getting his name on the Nearest the Pin markers.

Ben counted an air swing among his treasures for the day but the other big talking point was his effort on the 18th, a nominal 492m par 5 hole, that he managed to put his second shot through the green causing the group in front to scatter as the ball bounded through.  Ryan also scored an air swing although his ball was hard up against a tree and perhaps he can be forgiven under the circumstances.

Damo scored an eagle on the 11th and then followed up with a p.e.s.u (post eagle stuff up) on the 12th making it in for a double bogie.  Gordon chipped in from 40m for a birdie on the 10th and that brought the total for the day to seven.  Bob just missed a birdie on the 17th and if the putt had gone in he would have made it a five pointer.  There were some concerns ,early in the round, that Chrispy was contemplating slashing his wrists, so despondent was he about the progress of his game.  Fortunately, sharp objects were in short supply and a modicum of form returned to lift his spirits.  Harry’s little fade found the trees and water on a regular basis and one ball was struck only once as it directed unerringly into the next water hazard.

On Sunday, the task was to forget the hangover and to tackle the rather more gentle West Course although it too had its fair share of trees and some water.  Matt obviously had ambitions and he was closely monitored by Harry (who drew him in the Calcutta) and so his alcohol intake on Saturday night was best described as moderate.  The strategy seems to have paid off and Matt was able to come home with 37 points to tally up the best total for the weekend and to collect the jacket, trophy and top points.

David, on the other hand, was not quite so abstemious, though he did claim to have gone to bed early, and he surprised some by making it to the tee and playing remarkably well.  Once again he managed to get his name on the NTP markers several times (a total of five for the weekend) and a couple of missed eagle putts could have made all the difference to the outcome of the event.  His trio of birdies made up half of the tally of six for the day.

Ben maintained his pattern of play by taking an air swing on the tee by missing the ball by some 50mm but perhaps it was his psychedelic shorts that kept him on track to come into third place with an aggregate score of 67 points.  Brendon slipped a bit from his first day performance while Dale found some extra form to leap up the ladder and slip into 4th place beside Brendon on 63 points.

Damo also had a bit of a slump to finish in fifth place but perhaps it was down to the fright he took when Dave hit a power shank that crashed into the cart about half a metre from Damien as he was in the process of returning his club to his bag.  As they say in the classics, a point is a point.

Stef did manage to sink his eagle putt on the 17th but it means that he will get only one ball after Damo cleaned out the nest the day before (unless, of course, Damo takes pity and shares).

Noodles and Ryan were playing together and, being out of contention, decided to swap drivers on the last hole.  Noodles made a fair fist with the left handed club while Ryan’s right hander was little better than a duff.  Noodles was so disgusted with a chip with his 9 iron that he gave it a drop kick (something of a habit, it seems) and bent the shaft.  Wouldn’t you know it, he then chipped in for a par.  Not with the bent club though, which would have been illegal.  Ryan. on the other hand, abandoned one ball when he sprayed it into an adjacent housing area.  The fate of roof-top solar panels is indeterminate.

Mehmet was noticed buying a round for what seems to have been the only draughtie for the weekend (ignoring air swings).  Perhaps he was still shaking from a near-death experience when a stray ball crashed into the windscreen of the cart he was sitting in at the time.

ChrisV is licking his wounds and reviewing his estimates of Hayley’s golfing ability after she out-scored him on both days and even more comprehensively on Sunday.

However, the event of the day, and it resulted in the award of the Cocks Plate (for the stuff-up of the weekend), involved none other than Chrispy.  Harry had one of his misfortunes with a water hazard and the thought was that it would only have trickled in and the ball might be recoverable.  The edge of the pond was vertical and maybe just a little undercut.  Chris ventured just a little too close to peer into the water and his 115kg (his words) proved to be just a little too much and the earth crumbled.  Frantic clawing at the bank managed to prevent total immersion and, though many would have loved for that to have happened, the damage was limited to one wet shoe, sock and leg and claw marks on the bank.

The early start allowed plenty of time to relax and the pool and spa was a popular spot after a hard day on the course on Saturday.  The adjacent bar-be-cue was the location for Sunday lunch but the need to drive home meant that the sole swimmer was John’s lad.  A big thank you to the wives who organised the goodies for the Sunday lunch.

Results for Saturday, 06 October 2018

Ivanhoe: 1st Andrew Blight(38) 2nd Simon Powell(37) 3rd Rod Grant(35) 4th Andrew Petricola(33) 5th Joe Wagenecht(32)
Rich River: 1st Matt Hunt(35, 37, 72) 2nd David Mullenger(34, 35, 69) 3rd Ben Akdag(32, 35, 67) 4th Brendon Mitchell(33, 30, 63) 4th Dale Webb(28, 35, 63) 5th Damien Lee(33, 29, 62)

Seniors Results: Ivanhoe: 1st Andrew Blight (38) 2nd Simon Powell (37) 3rd Rod Grant (35)

:Rich River:1st Allan Davies (29, 29, 58) 2nd Gordon Hill (26, 22, 48) 2nd Bob McDonald (22, 26, 48) 3rd Harry Boughen (17, 21, 38)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 – No contest ProPin No 2 – No contest BallPin – No contest

Eagle’s nest Results: Eagle Damien Lee (Saturday Rich River) ;Stefan Belevski (Sunday Rich River)

Grand Final day 2018, a fierce contest, a fast start and a bit of rough-housing, and that was all on the golf course for the guys who were able to get away before the afternoons festivities. The Collingwood supporters were notably not in attendance but 14 others enjoyed a nice day out on course. There were rumors that Simon, Jason and Ryan all had hot starts and during the round there were scores at around +6 on the cards however a few fumbles in “time on” resulted in a first win for Peter who ended up with plus 5 to take out his first win for the club.

His round was aided by three double pars, slotting pars on the 4th, 10th and 18th. His new handicap may put a stop to that next time, time will tell. Peter was also keenly eyeing off the remaining groups on the 18th green as he had placed the closest marker for nearest the pin at 3.6m. He was not beaten and was more than happy with his efforts to take out the cash. Ryan started with a topped drive which only just passed the ladies tee on the 1st, but recovered with a hot short game to be +4 after 4 holes. He faltered briefly in the last few holes to drop back to 3 plus to take out outright 2nd, he also birdied the 3rd for a double plus.. Some had inquired if he was possibly keeping a check of his handicap for the weekend away, but he simply sprayed a few tee shots and can’t help that he is not Tiger Woods.

Jason was setting a similar mark to Ryan but again faltered on the back nine to end up with a very respectable +2 to come in 3rd place. Noodles, Gordon, Dale and David all played fairly consistently all day and ended up with a square card for 4th place. 5th place was shared by Daniel and Simon with -1. Daniel was lucky enough to score two double pluses, parring the 4th and birdieing the 15th. Simon mentioned that he lipped out on chips a few times throughout the day and it could have faired a lot better for himself if they listening to him. Gordon was also talking to the ball on a few putts along the way, some of which ended up dropping in after his cursing and bemoaning.

There were no reported draghties however the 4th group came very close, Dennis, Gordon and Ryan all being tantalizing close. The ball hole was on the 12th and Jason hit a pearler to take out a shiny new one for his efforts. The second pro pin was on the 15th and it was a hotly contested affair. Simon was within 5m early on and was counting his cash for the triple jackpot, but Damian spoiled his party by hitting a spectacular shot to 3.2m to take it from his grasp.

Congratulations to Brent who produced a couple of offspring during the week, or contributed to more accurately. Chrispy was very happy by all reports to have a couple of new family members, even if the football result went the other way. A very happy birthday to Trevor for this week who celebrates another milestone.

A reminder that the annual trip away to Rich River is next weekend. There will still be a competition at Ivanhoe for those who are not attending. By all reports there are going to be a few in attendance.

Results for Saturday, 29 September 2018
1st Peter Damou(+5) 2nd Ryan Porker(+3) 3rd Jason Hopkins(+2) 4th Stephen Butterfield(□) 4th Gordon Hill(□) 4th David Mullenger(□) 4th Dale Webb(□) 5th Daniel O’Rourke(-1) 5th Simon Powell(-1)

Seniors Results: 1st Gordon Hill (□) 2nd Simon Powell (-1) 3rd Dennis Ward (-6)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Damien Lee ProPin No 2 18th Peter Damou BallPin 12th Jason Hopkins