The question has to be asked – will it ever rain again? The ground staff must have reached the bottom of the barrel. The green sward that we have become used to is starting to look a bit brown in places and some of the cracks are getting large enough to swallow a ball. But, there is a bit more run to be had and the greens are still soft enough and in good condition, so there is no reason that eighteen keen beans could not score their pants off. There was a little bit of wind about from time to time but not enough to claim any blame.

Just before he was due to tee off, Porks had to make a trip back to his car to put away his coach’s (read girlfriend) putter so that he only had the regulation 14 clubs in his bag. It would have been a shame to have disqualified him after he took to the course and rattled off a mere 39 shots to complete the first nine. The standard continued, almost unabated, on the back nine where another 38 gave a total of 77 for a net 64, more than enough to claim the first spot and the Monthly Medal for April.

Could anybody have challenged such an effort? Well, if it hadn’t been for an eleven (yes, eleven) on the second, then Targe could easily have made a real contest of it. That made a bit of a mess of the front nine score, but, on the back, Targe took only one more stroke than Ryan and finished the day with a very creditable net 67 to take second place in the main event and top place in the Seniors. Those points keep him in the front of both Championship events although Porks is nipping at his heels in the Club Championship.

Blighty and Harry level pegged it for third place for the day and second place in the Seniors with their handicap equalling score of 68. Harry was spotted patting his pockets and inspecting his cart and bag looking for his ball to tee off on the 10th. Then it was pointed out that he had it in his hand. Just shows what concentration will do. Stef, Noodles and Craig tied it up for fourth while Steve was just a stroke behind with 71.

The Nearest the Pin saw a bit of competition today with a series of names written on and then crossed off (except for one). The BallPin on the 12th eventually went to Craig who got close enough to win but not close enough to get the birdie. The BallPin on the 18th went to Damo, who didn’t get around to crossing off Stef’s name but we gave it to him anyway. None of those three got the birdies, so it was up to others to tally up the fairly ordinary total of eight for the day. The ProPin on the 15th defied all efforts and so there will be a nice fat Jackpot next week.

Speaking of next week, this will be the inaugural attempt at the Ryder Cup teams event. This will be played in a Matchplay format with teams chosen by the team captains. There will be Championship points awarded for each Match winner and for each member of the winning team. There will not be points for individual performances, nor will there be handicapping. If players happen to be selected against their Matchplay Championship Round 2 opponent, they can choose to use the result for their match if they so nominate before starting the round.

And, speaking of Matchplay, there were two matches contested today. Stef and Steve finished off Round 1 and a very close run thing it was. There were only two halved holes in the match and it all came down to a putting contest on the last. Steve had done some homework on a previous putt and was shattered to see the ball do a lap of the hole and finish about 20mm outside the circle, handing the match to Stef, 1 up. A square result would have been interesting, as the practice green was chockers with a kids class and it might have been difficult to demand that it be cleared for a chip-off. Harry and Porks also played to get Round 2 under way and, despite the scoreline of 3 and 1 in Porks favour, the match was pretty closely fought. Harry just happened to strike Ryan on fire and a number of putts missing by the barest of margins could easily have been the difference on the day.

Trees rated a few mentions in the aftermath of the round. Rod and Jason variously tried left hand, back of club and upside down club to extricate themselves from close proximity. The Beast was also moved to mention that he had never seen so many balls so close to trees in a round and these weren’t the stray ones that seemed to litter the course. Pepsi also fell foul when his shot to the 17th first caught a tree, and then bounced off a fence to finish hard up against the tree. Probably saved it from OOB though. Toe of putter was the only shot to play.

Chrispy came along and carted his way around the course and he thought he had attached himself to the marquee group which happened to include Pepsi. Chrispy had expected to pick up a few pointers in preparation for his return to play but he ended up being somewhat disappointed. He did opine that Pepsi must be a shareholder in CUB after he managed to rack up two draughties early on. Peter and Blighty racked up an air shot each. Peter claimed extenuating circumstances with the ball hard up against a tree while Andrew’s was in the middle of the fairway.

The Birthday Birdie has been having a quiet time of it recently but there are a couple of items of note this week. Everybody’s favourite Turkish Delight, Mehmet, will be breaking out the candles tomorrow and later in the week Rod will be celebrating the double four nothing with a nosh up after golf on Thursday.

Results for Saturday, 06 April 2019
1st Ryan Porker(64) 2nd Targe Mifsud(67) 3rd Andrew Blight(68) 3rd Harry Boughen(68) 4th Stefan Belevski(70) 4th Stephen Butterfield(70) 4th Craig Cameron(70) 5th Stephen Kelly(71)

Seniors Results: 1st Targe Mifsud (67) 2nd Andrew Blight (68) 2nd Harry Boughen (68) 3rd Craig Cameron (70)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 12th Craig Cameron BallPin No 2 18th Damien Lee

There was a forecast of rain, and raid it did. It was only fairly light and it seemed that the umbrellas were forever going up and down. With the second last round before daylight savings, it was still dark when it was time for the first group to tee off. 16 members (bravest of them all) turned up put through some uncomfortable conditions but it was a non assuming Rod White that putted along and racked up par after par. His playing group were relatively surprised when the end result was plus 6 which romped home for first place. By his own accord, he only hit 3 fairways all day, and didn’t set the putter alight, but something must have worked in his favor with a very impressive score.

It seemed that it was a day for the higher handicappers, with Targe (or yours truly as he is more often than not referred to), and Peter coming home in 2nd and 3rd places respectively with scores of 3 and 2 in the positive. Targe has extended his lead in the club championships so the handicapper has taken the liberty to deduct a few more from his playing weight, surely he will be back to his old mark soon enough.

With only 16 players there was plenty of opportunity for points, however only 5 ended up achieving that. Dale played to his handicap and Dennis was just one more behind. Dennis did well to score a point, he was also quite distracted during the round by sending sms’s to Gordon from time to time, complaining about this and that.

As always Simon was intrigued with the seniors results, and he managed to score the final placing with Allan.

Michael joined us today for the first time in a while, and he would be been regretting it for the early part due to the rain and his inability to score pars. He started the round with 6 ‘gashes’ but rallied and came home with some more solid golf. Jason also wasn’t playing too well, with a -7 on the back 9. There is always next week guys. With the inconsistent golf from some, there were no reported draughties for the day.

The nearest the pins were hotly contested. The ball on the 12th was quite a distance away by the time the second last group came around, but Brendon beat that mark to win the prize. The 15th pin was at the back of the green, and Damian hit hit tee shot a little fat and it landed short in the rough at the front of the green. It took a magnificent kick out of there and rolled up to within 2.5m of the pin to take the money. He slotted the birdie, of which there were only 8 carded for the day.

The 18th was again at the back tier and Damian again hit a solid shot to be close enough for a ball. The course wasn’t it too bad of nick if you ask Gordon, who with Simon and Michael, all of their group made pars on the 13th.

Matchplay round 2 starts next week along with the April monthly medal.  The Ryder cup round is held during the following week which proves to be an interesting concept, with championship points on offer.

 

Results for Saturday, 30 March 2019
1st Rodney White(+6) 2nd Targe Mifsud(+3) 3rd Peter Damou(+2) 4th Dale Webb(□) 5th Dennis Ward(-1)

Seniors Results: 1st Targe Mifsud (+3) 2nd Dennis Ward (-1) 3rd Allan Davies (-3) 3rd Simon Powell (-3)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin18th Damien Lee BallPin No 1 12th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 2 15th Damien Lee

It was as dark as a dog’s guts this morning when our GOAT Marshall arrived at the Club House and it remained pretty dim until after the nominated first tee time had come and gone. Yes, the sun does not come up yet at that time of the morning but there were also some rather threatening looking clouds hanging around. And, sure enough, just as the first group was about to tee off, the heavens opened and there was much scuttling to get under shelter and to unfurl umbrellas and wet weather gear. Fortunately, it didn’t last all that long and very soon the resplendent display of hawaiian shirts (at least on those who wore them) was on show once more. That wasn’t the end of it though and, as the last of the rain-proof trousers were eventually removed, with uncanny timing, the rain started again. The second tranche of rain was less intense and maybe lasted a bit longer but when it cleared it was not long before the sun came out and the 26 members and one guest who made it to the course were in danger of getting sunburned for their trouble. A big welcome to Enzo who is planning to join us.

There was plenty to play for, for some in the main event, and four pairs made the most of the day by playing their first round matches in the Matchplay Championship. Matt took on Blighty and really struggled to get his nose in front but then he didn’t really need to. Blighty was three up with five to play and then managed to lose three of those five to finish square and Matt finished him off in the first round of the chip-off. Whitey managed to hold Dave in check for a while but then faltered just a bit in the middle of the back to go down 3 and 2. Jason was a bit daunted by having to concede 20 strokes to Ken and so he was pretty happy to win the first four holes on the trot. However, Ken managed to peg him back to square at the 14th after which Jason regained his composure to take the match 2 and 1. Mehmet emerged from his lair to take on the Beast (or maybe the Beast enticed him into his) and was never headed from the get-go and took out the match 3 and 2. During the week, Michael conceded to JQ and DennisT conceded to Bob so there is only one result left to be decided in Round 1 between Stef and Steve. Only two more chances lads! Round 2 can be played any time as long as both agree but on and after April Monthly Medal the present/play rule applies.

There were two questions that everybody wanted an answer to – would Ben get around without having to shout and would Ben be able to maintain his lead in the event. The answer to the first was – Yes. The answer to the second was – No. The man who did step up to the plate and put together two pretty good rounds was Simon who was able to recover enough strength to make it to this weeks coaching session and also managed to recover pretty well after a shot from the 4th tee that he was obviously not too happy with. A few little hiccups on the back nine also prevented a much more comprehensive march to the winning post. On receiving the trophy Simon comment on how pleased he was to win this as his first Major. Rodger commented that it was coming up to the tenth anniversary next week and how much he enjoyed coming back to play and seeing the the Club was going so well and that it was still a proper social Golf Club.

Craig played alongside Simon and fairly put the frighteners on by rattling off pars on the first six holes. Double bogies on the 9th and 18th probably took away his chance of putting it right up to Simon. Brendon wasn’t too happy with his front nine although he did go close to scoring an Ibis on the 8th. There were thoughts of borrowing Chrispy’s crutch when the bird limped away but after a few moments it seemed to recover its composure and went about the business of being an ibis. A blistering back nine saved the day and propelled Brendon into 3rd place and a goodly dose of the points. His 37 points was the best score on the day and, on that heady total, he was joined by Allan and Targe.

That score from Allan gave him a big push up the leader board into 4th place. and last, but by no means least, Ben managed to stay in the points by scrabbling together 68 points for the event.

On the daily score card there was a list almost too long to publish with 35 points but beside the two leaders there were David, Noodles, Jake, Rodger and Whitey.

The first BallPin was on the 12th and Gordon managed to steal it away from Blighty and Allan with a shot that finished only a metre or so past the hole. Not close enough for him to get the birdie so that did not contribute to the total of 13 for the day. Peter missed an eagle putt by millimetres on the 14th so his birdie did count. The eagle would certainly have cemented his position at the top of the Eclectic Table. The second BallPin was on the 18th and, with the pin on the bottom shelf it is a bit surprising that the closest approach was estimated at nearly 7 metres by Jason. The ProPin was on the 15th and Jake looked to have it sewn up with his ball at 1.37m. But then along came Uncle Rob, who went to 1.30m to snatch the cash from the young fellow’s hand.

Rob was one who was looking forward to collecting a shout from Ben. Until the 8th, that is, when Rob’s hybrid (he is a big hitter) made the ball travel about a metre and put the boot firmly on the other foot. At least his ball did move. Brendon put his drive from the 6th to the back of the 7th green. A bit of an uphill lie wouldn’t normally be seen to pose a problem but on this occasion the ball did not move. Or did it. There was some thought that the slip-stream might have had an effect but the club itself certainly didn’t. Pepsi was feeling pretty thirsty and on about four occasions he thought that his thirst was about to be quenched. But, you could say that the golf gods smiled on Harry and each time the ball managed to make it past the red markers.

Blighty might easily have set a new record by managing to hit three consecutive shots out of bounds from the tee on the 14th. This could be seen to be the start of the rot in his fortunes in the matchplay. In the course of the on again, off again wet weather gear, Bill deposited his pants (wet weather, just to be clear) in Rodgers cart. Despite having been offered the chance to re-apply them several times, Bill became quite panic stricken when he eventually decided to do so and couldn’t find them.

After his relegation to 5th place today, Ben reckons he now knows how Collingwood feel. Brendon was detailed with some child-minding duties after the round and had to deal with a number of ‘what’s this Daddy’s and the application of the ten (or should that be five) second rule when Bubb-a-lo Bill was dropped. SOS’s offer to lick it clean did not really help the situation. When it was all over Brendon opined that it was a bit like herding sheep (and that from a Kiwi) or should it have been ibis?

Results for Saturday, 23 March 2019
1st Simon Powell(40, 35, 75) 2nd Craig Cameron(37, 35, 72) 3rd Brendon Mitchell(33, 37, 70) 4th Allan Davies(32, 37, 69) 5th Ben Akdag(44, 24, 68)

Seniors Results: 1st Simon Powell (35,40,75) 2nd Craig Cameron (35,37,72) 3rd Allan Davies (37,32,69)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin15th Robert Priems BallPin No 1 12th Gordon Hill BallPin No 2 18th Jason Hopkins

The high pressure cells are keeping the rain away and some parts of the course are, rightly, getting as bare as a badger’s bum, but the ground staff are finding some water somewhere for the bits that really matter. Some of the greens have acquired a bit of sand (or is that fertilizer) which made the response to the flat blade a bit on the variable side between holes. In line with the importance of the competition to the history of the Club, there were 22 starters for the first round of Stuart’s Memorial Event.

All of this was nothing for Ben, who was the subject of a fair bit of speculation during the week. His reputation for buying drinks from the first tee had them fighting in the aisles to be in the first group with him and, at one stage, Dennis was despairing as to how he could manage to satisfy all requests. As it turned out, Ben wasn’t short of something to drink (but more of that later) and he put together as spanking round of 79 off the stick for a massive 44 points. No wonder he could manage a smile. The big question is, can he stand the pressure?

The number one pressuriser would have to be Simon who is next in line on the Leaderboard with his score of 40 points giving him a good chance if Ben falters at all. And this result from a man who, a week ago, was despairing and lined up a session with the coach only to cancel out at the last minute because he was ‘too tired’. The question is, could he have been in the lead if he had taken the coaching? And another thing, he scored 40 points and he wasn’t even smokin’. That’s right, not a single coffin nail the whole round although the puffer did get a bit of a work out.

In a tougher school, Rob would have had to accept his score made with a lower handicap on his card but, being a kind hearted social golf club we forgive him his sins (your handicap can change from week to week Rob) and give him the extra point to bring him into a tie for third place with Craig. Rob scored himself a birdie on the 14th after driving onto the green while Craig was in a group of three who all birdied the 17th. The longest putt was Craig at about 1 metre after he lipped out for the Eagle while Porks had the shortest at 50mm having almost made the Eagle as well. Those four birdies contributed in no small way to the total of 13 that were carded for the day. And the Eagle can settle down for another week knowing that her nest is safe.

Harry did make it to his coaching session and the ball striking was generally better although a couple of sconed tee shots did get Gordon excited and licking his lips in anticipation. The golf gods smiled, Gordon went thirsty and Harry played to his handicap for 36 points. JQ rounded out the provisional points table with his 34 points. His potential partner in crime, Pepsi, tried to claim a stroke on the 18th and was relegated from the leaderboard listing as a result.

It showed all the signs of being Ben’s day today as he had his name all over the nearest the Pin markers. Well the BallPin markers, anyway. He managed to keep his ball in front on the 15th but Brendon managed to rain on his parade on the 18th. Brendon also rained on Simon’s parade for the ProPin on the 12th by getting well inside the distance to 1.36m.

Rodger joined us today, as he always does, and showed that he hasn’t learned too many bad habits up at Yarrambat. The putter did have him a bit frustrated today and at one stage he was heard telling how he’d never been a club thrower. Not sure whether he was tempted today or not. Ken also tore himself away from Rosanna to join us today but he did find the undergrowth on more than one or two occasions. Good to see you guys and you know you are welcome at any time. Another occasional visitor was the Beast who is back from his golfing holiday in China and is all excited about ‘panda’ bunkers and explosive powered drivers.

After the round, Pepsi was all tarted up to go to the races but not before he downed several of the drinks that he had been anticipating most of the week. Thing was, he didn’t get them from Ben and they weren’t all ‘free’. On the 15th, Pepsi’s drive smashed so hard into the bushes on the left that it came right back and finished behind the red markers. The other culprit in the group as SOS who took on a tree on the 7th and on the 9th he managed (somehow) to put one into the pond on the left. Needless to say, Pepsi might have missed the first race.

Allan discovered another drawback of riding around on Thunderbird today. he was trying to drink his mug of tea and managed to spill it all over himself. That’s why it is illegal in motor vehicles. Simon went close to a birdie on the 8th today when his third shot hit the pin (quite fast) just above ground level and stopped just past the hole. In a similar vein, Noodles went into the pond on the 17th, skinnied his shot across the penalty area and, if not for hitting the pin dead centre, would have been well and truly through the fence. Then, he calmly sank the putt for par. The other stuff will beat class any day.

Final round of the Stuart Clarke next week and we like to wear our hawaiian shirts to remember Stuart. Come along even if you didn’t play today, just let us know so that he have enough snags for the barbeque afterwards. Groups will be made in reverse order from the Leaderboard with any extras slotted in to the early groups.

Don’t forget that the first round of Matchplay still has to be completed by end of play on 06 April. Second round can be played anytime between now and May Monthly Medal.

Results for Saturday, 16 March 2019
Leaderboard Round 1: 1st Ben Akdag(44) 2nd Simon Powell(40) 3rd Craig Cameron(37) 3rd Robert Priems(37) 4th Harry Boughen(36) 5th John Quinlan(34)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Simon Powell (40) 2nd Craig Cameron (37) 3rd Harry Boughen (36)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin12th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 1 15th Ben Akdag BallPin No 2 18th Brendon Mitchell