Well, it wasn’t exactly bucketing down, but there was quite heavy rain about as ten intrepid souls trudged out to the tee to see just what sort of a prospect the course held for them. The radar suggested that it was going to persist for at least a few holes, so umbrellas and wet weather gear were unfurled from the get-go. Progress was a little slow to start with, as ball finding and ball cleaning interfered with the smooth running of the game. The consistent rain did only last for a few, but occasional showers persisted for about eight. At that stage there was enough blue for a sailor’s suit, and the sun did make a couple of appearances. Blighty made a bold prediction early on that a score of -3 would win the day, and he persisted with that prediction right to the bitter end. Being in the first group, and in charge of the NTP markers, he was tempted to declare the 4th hole as the ProPin after he placed his drive to within about 200mm of the hole. He resisted the urge, and placed all of the markers in the correct place. Because of this, the golf gods smiled upon him, and he was able to slot the putt for a birdie, one of only four that were carded for the day.

For quite a while, it looked as if Andrew was out in his prediction of the winning score. That is, until CJ slapped his card down on the table, proudly displaying the total of -3 to take the day and to make the forecast come to pass. CJ did have a bit of a whinge about the fact that he was going to be cut for winning, and claimed that it was unfair to be cut for missing your handicap by so much. The computer says No! Chief soothsayer Blight was next to step up onto the podium with his card sporting a total of -4 points, helped along just a little by his performance on the 4th. He was joined by Steve, who might be a force to be reckoned with if he can get his short game going. He was playing without a glove because of the rain and the grip on a club was so slippery that, on his approach to the first, the club slipped out of his hand, travelled further than the ball and went close to scoring a birdie – with the club.

Michael was bewailing the fact of a series of missed putts on the last couple of holes that ‘robbed’ him of a higher placing, if not a win. Perhaps a better question would have been, what about the run of minus scores at the start of the nine. It obviously upset him so much that he walked off to his car after the presentations and left behind his golf ball and lunch box (empty). ChrisJ had his moments on the course today, some of which included some fine shots. A nice little draw on the 11th put him in a good spot to make the par, but a similarly shaped shot on the 13th saw the ball finish well into the private property on the left. Despite the ups and downs, a final score of -5 was good enough to win a share of third place. Brendon’s day did not start out too well. He arrived at the first green, only to discover that he had left his putter in the car. So he putted that green with his wedge, then did a sprint back to retrieve his trusty putter. Trouble is, it wasn’t in the car, either. Undaunted, a quick visit to the ProShop scored him a loaner, and he was back in business. Some of the putts came off so well that he was thinking of actually paying the $5 to buy it. This wasn’t enough to offset some other poor shot-making, and Brendon was only able to manage a -5 as well.

After turning at only one hole down, Gordon had visions of hoisting the trophy at the end of the day. The first few holes of the back did little to tarnish that vision. Unfortunately, the Hillman Minx developed a rather nasty rattle in the big end, and the vision disappeared in a puff of blue smoke and a rash of gashes. So, Gordo just had to satisfy himself with a -6 and a spot in 4th place. His chip in birdie on the 9th brightened his day just a little, and it helped his Eclectic score just that little bit, as did the handicap relief that he got. JQ could not quite believe that he was going to score a point with his tally of -7, but he did.

CJ might have to invest in some new head-wear as his climb up the Championship tables continues. He’s probably beginning to think that the Seniors is not such a tough gig after all. He reckons he made the earth move today when he came down after a slip on the side of the 15th tee. Brendon went close to suffering the same fate. As an aside, there are signs advising use of the provided paths/stairs.

The first BallPin was set on the 7th today, and the tee was set a fair way back, which might go some way to explaining why nobody was able to hit the green, giving us a Jackpot on the hole for next week. The ProPin (Jackpot) on the 12th was similarly elusive, so there will be a Double jackpot on offer next week. Depending on the numbers attending, it could be almost worth winning. The BallPin on the 18th was contested after Adam was able to get onto the green, even if only just. However, a fine shot by Michael to just under 3m spoiled Adam’s day more than it already had been.

The Birth Day Birdie has been a bit remiss as it seems that Ryan is now the proud father of a fine bouncing baby boy. Congratulations to all concerned. It will probably not be long before he is being enrolled in Junior Tigers and pestering Dad to be allowed to join our merry band.

Results for Saturday, 20 Aug 2022
1st Chris Priems (-3) 2nd Andrew Blight (-4) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (-4) 3rd Michael Gourlay (-5) 3rd Chris James (-5) 3rd Brendon Mitchell (-5) 4th Gordon Hill (-6) 5th John Quinlan (-7)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (-3) 2nd Andrew Blight (-4) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (-4) 3rd Michael Gourlay (-5)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 7th Jackpot BallPin No 2 – 18th Michael Gourlay

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Where have all the golfers gone?
Long time passing.
Where have all the golfers gone?
Long time ago.
Where have all the golfers gone?
Young girls have nicked them every one.
Oh, When will you ever learn?
Oh, When will you ever learn?

With only seven pre-post nominations, the odds shortened early on that the field would be in the points today. Even with a starting gate addition, there was still a feeling about that the field would be fully satisfied. That feeling persisted until the 10th, when CJ spoke out and put the feeling into words when he reached the turn with eighteen points on the card. That confidence had receded a bit by the 13th, when the ‘best chipper in the club’ left one well short on an approach to the green. All in all, the conditions were just about ideal. Very little of the forecast rain had eventuated, and the course was in a fairly benign state. The sun was shining, and the temperature was making its way into the mid-teens. The greens were receptive and clean, so there was little reason to expect that scoring would not be easy.

This proved to be the case, at least for a few players in the field. Just two weeks after pulling off the same feat, SOS and Craig managed to top the field again with a tie on 39 points. Craig was his ultra-reliable self, and had his marker complaining that he had almost forgotten how to score a bogey on the card. There was just one little aberration on the second hole that resulted in a no-score, and also just one singleton on the 9th. SOS had a minor run-in with Mrs Shanks on the 5th that also resulted in a no-score. There were three singletons, but he more than made up for those when he scored a birdie on the 13th after playing a one bounce shot onto the green, followed by a longish curving putt for a four pointer. Another birdie on the 17th helped the team to reach a total of six for the day.

It seems that all of the front-runners just had to have a no-score line on their card. This was certainly true of Brendon, who scored his on the 11th, no less. If he had only made a single point there, he would have made a three-way tie for first, and then the field would have all made points. Of course, things could have come unstuck on the 17th where his power shank off the tee finished just on the verge of the penalty area adjacent to the 18th tee. Unperturbed by Stan contemplating pocketing his ball, Brendon calmly lobbed it across the pond onto the green for the regulation two putts and par.

Steve was absolutely creaming his driver all day. Unfortunately, his close-in game let him down on several occasions. On the 13th, for instance, he went close to crossing the green twice before getting a chance to putt. Despite all that, he did manage to make a total of 33 points for the round, and scored himself a very handy third place. ChrisJ had a pretty good front nine, and he started the back in what looked like being a similar style. A lapse of concentration followed, and three no-scores knocked a hole in his scoring chances on the back. There was another nervous moment on the 17th when his drive was drawing more than somewhat towards the fence, but it did stop on the fairway, and a par was easily done. After having put a hex on himself at the 10th, CJ was feeling a bit despondent when his drive on the 13th disappeared into some rough stuff. SOS helped with the search, and he was soon asking whether CJ was playing with an orange ball. Yes, but it’s yellow, answered CJ. No, this is orange said SOS. And it was – an orange, that is.

When asked how he was going at the 17th tee, JQ responded that he reckoned he’d had six or seven rim-jobs during the round. Now, when you get your minds out of the gutter, he meant that the putts did not want to go in the hole for him (and not that one either!). Still, he was kind of happy to get the last point on offer with his 29 points.

The ProPin today was on the 12th, and there were the usual tales about the tape not being stretchy enough to bring the ‘nearly-almosts’ into contention. Considering the numbers, it was hardly worth winning anyway, and the jackpot to next week will be very welcome. The first BallPin was a Jackpot on the 4th, and Craig managed to put his hand up to collect the pair. On the 18th, Brendon was very hopeful that his tee shot would be in contention, but unfortunately, the backspin took him back off the green and well down the apron at the front of the green. This left it to JQ to collect the ball for his shot.

The Birthday Birdie has to do the rounds again this week, with a couple of visits to wish the best to JQ and Zimmer. Have a great day, old mates!

Results for Saturday, 13 Aug 2022
1st Craig Cameron (39) 1st Stephen O’Sullivan (39) 2nd Brendon Mitchell (38) 3rd Steven Gervasoni (33) 4th Chris James (30) 4th Chris Priems (30) 5th John Quinlan (29)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (39) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (33) 3rd Chris Priems (30)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 4th Craig Cameron BallPin No 2 – 18th John Quinlan

There has been a certain amount of rain around over the last couple of days, so there was a certain amount of trepidation as to what sort of condition the course would be in and the sort of effect that this might have on the scores returned. One discussion suggested that the medallist would be lucky to match his handicap. In actual fact, the course wasn’t all that bad, with the usual slushy patches (and tee on the 15th), but the preferred lie meant that you didn’t have to play with mud on your ball, unless you chose to. CJ reckoned he was put off by the greens because they were more of a yellow colour, which, you would have to agree, is a pretty poor excuse for missed putts. We had 13 members, plus Jake, turn out this morning, and that included Blighty, who owned to still being a bit shaken up after his T-boning last Saturday. Fortunately, there were no injuries other than to his car, which was apparently a write-off. The weather stayed mild and dry, although there were some rather ominous clouds looming after the round. Despite all this, the ‘cold and heavy’ air seems to have had an effect on play for some members at least.

No such problems for Adam, however. The only real blemish on his card was a triple on the 3rd, and his 37 strokes on the back nine was helped along by his birdie on the 12th. This was apparently a bit on the easy-peasy side after he put his drive to 2.4m to take out the Jackpot ProPin on that hole. The birdie was one of only five that we managed to put together on the day. The net score of 65 was a fair stretch in front of the rest of the field. Except, that is, for Jake. Now Jake is hanging out there with Porks awaiting an important delivery, and he hasn’t played for a while, plus, he was lining up for his second round with the set of clubs that he was bequeathed by CJ on the occasion of his birthday. Although he did make use of the Priems tree technique, he did manage to smash together a very respectable score of net 66 from what would have been his old Club handicap.

The next best members were the terrible twins, Matt and Pepsi. Matt apparently went close to spitting the dummy when he thinned a chip to the green on the 9th, and he fully expected the ball to finish a long way past the hole. That is, until it hit the pin and dropped into the hole, at which stage, he proceeded to take full credit for the result. The other aspect of his round was that he went close to ‘fouring’ the back nine. Eight of the nine holes had a four in the score column. Pepsi also managed a triple on the 3rd, but he soon put that behind, and, with the aid of a couple of birdies, he managed to produce a par score for the back nine. Watch out when he masters the front.

Despite his problem with the colour of the greens, CJ was able to rescue his round with a 37 stroke back nine. The new clubs seem to be still behaving themselves and Chris reckons that his new-found accuracy is just what his ‘aging’ body needs, rather than loads of length. He did test the tree line on the 8th, and the ball disappeared into the thick of it until, about ten seconds later, the ball popped out the other side into ‘not too bad’ a spot. SOS started out in pretty good form, and finished the front nine looking like being a hot contender for the top spot. His self-assessment of a really good nine holes might just have put the mockers on him. Nothing went really bad, but, then again, nothing was quite right either, leading to a final net score of 71 and the fourth podium spot. Gordon preferred not to talk about the 16th and 17th holes that managed to rob him of the chance of a much higher placing, and brought him into a tie with Brendon on 72 and the final point for the day.

The first BallPin was on the 4th, and with the white tees well back, the prospect from the tee provided a rather daunting view. The ‘tree’ claimed a fair share of victims, and, as a result, the ball went begging, and there will be a jackpot to next week. On the 18th, CJ was the only one to get his name on the chit, and he collected the ball for that one. The ProShop had neglected to put out their ProPin marker, and CJ was in that competition, but, as he couldn’t be bothered going back to the green to measure the distance, it was up to others to do the hard work for him. Will he cop it if he wins!

Now, as sure as God made little green apples, it wouldn’t be a round if Rob didn’t score a draughtie. Today was no exception and from the ‘slushie’ on the 15th, he managed to fall short of the red markers once again. His round did have one highlight when he chipped in on the 6th hole for his only par for the day. However, Blighty must have been a little cross-eyed when he finished off the card and wrote Rob’s score at the top of the card, because he took Rob’s handicap from his own score. So Rob didn’t just miss out on a point, as Matt announced, as a result. Bob didn’t have a great start to the round, losing a ball off the side of the tee. His tally for the first was not quite a record for a single hole, but it certainly is for the first, and by a reasonable margin. But, like the true trooper that he is, Bob stuck with it and finished the round where lesser mortals might have called it a day. Jake was through the green on the 6th, and his chip was only slightly off-line, but certainly going to miss the hole. Fortunately for Jake, CJ had chipped his ball to a few hundred millimetres from the hole, right in the line. The collision slowed and deflected his ball, and it finished about 20mm short of the hole. Talk about the Priems family working together.

The Birthday Birdie has been resting up over the past few weeks, but this week will see him flapping his little wings off. He has to get around to visit Harry, Ken, Brendon and ChrisV to wish them all the very best for their various milestones. Fortunately, he doesn’t have to fill in for the stork as well.

The year is slipping by, and it will not be long before the Annual Challenge is upon us. If you can see your way clear, payment of the balances owing would be in order. And, if you have a mind to go and your name is not on the list, get in touch with Matt to see what your options are.

Results for Saturday, 06 Aug 2022
1st Adam King (65) 2nd Matt Hunt (69) 2nd Andrew Petricola (69) 3rd Chris Priems (70) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan (71) 5th Gordon Hill (72) 5th Brendon Mitchell (72)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (70) 2nd Gordon Hill (72) 3rd Andrew Blight (74) 3rd Craig Cameron (74)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Adam King BallPin No 1 – 4th Jackpot BallPin No 2 – 18th Chris Priems

We certainly could have done with some fires out on Old Ivanhoe this morning! Jack Frost had been out and about, sprinkling his fairy dust far and wide. There were complaints that it was so cold that the hand warmers took nine holes to get going, by which time some people were beginning to thaw out. Harry, on the other hand, reckons he finally began to feel his fingers by the time that he got to the 14th. Maybe it was the prospect of some icy mornings that prompted only twelve members to register, and for only eleven to make it to the course to take their chances with the icy and somewhat slushy conditions. As far as the tee positions went, there seemed to be no middle ground. Either they were as far back as they could go, or they were right at the front, competing with the red markers for position. There were a couple of draughties reported, which, hopefully, were at least when there was a bit of separation to be negotiated. This was certainly the case for Targe on the 8th, but the situation for Bob and Steve was not clarified. The ice gathered around spikes did result in some interesting ‘dimpling’ of the green surface, and some complained about the effect this had on their putts. Any excuse! At least the management did not close the course to protect the green surface, as Craig reported happened to one of his friends once.

In the end, Craig was more than happy to continue playing. However, he did think that the Golf Gods were against him when his drive on the 6th appeared to have disappeared from the middle of the fairway. No purloiner was noticed, although there was another ‘stray’ ball left on the fairway. Perhaps, by way of compensation, the gods looked down favourably on the 16th where a putt had stopped hanging on the edge of the hole when a fortuitous gust of wind gave it the extra nudge it needed to roll and rest against the pin to be counted as in, even though about 90% of the ball was still above the surface. It seemed that every time SOS scored a plus, it was followed pretty smartly by a minus. And, if he happened to score a couple of minus, there would soon be a plus to fix that right up. At the end of the round, the plus scores exceeded the minus scores by one, and he was able to ‘plod’ a +1 to finish tied up with Craig to share first place. Craig’s win, puts him back at the head of the Championship table by the narrowest of margins, and with the end of the Competition year rapidly approaching, there could be a fair sort of tussle between Old Reliable and Porks.

Adam took a few holes to get going, but the positives proved elusive, and the front nine finished four on the wrong side of the ledger. The back nine proved rather more prolific, but Adam still felt that his card should be well down the pile when he handed it in. In actual fact, his -3 was enough for him to score second place, with the step on the podium to himself. Steve, today, asked about ‘insurance’ for holes in one, to be told by SOS that, yes, the Club shouted a round for the occasion. Not the point, it seems. Steve reckons that some life insurance policies, in South Africa, will pay out for an Ace. The burden of proof would undoubtedly be pretty onerous if insurance claims in Oz are anything to go by. With that weighing on his mind, Steve managed a -4 to catch himself a piece of fourth place. Geoff was still reeling a bit from the hatcheting that his handicap took after his win last week, but there was a thought that he might have managed a HIO on the 12th, where his drive was direct in line with the hole, but it travelled ninety percent of the distance along the ground. So remarkable was the blow that he struck that, despite this, the ball still finished off the back of the green. And, despite this, Geoff also finished -4, to share fourth place.

Despite lacking feeling in his fingers for two thirds of the round, Harry still managed to come home with a score line of -5. He was joined on the scoreline, if not the frozen fingers, by Michael and Rob to enjoy the points for fourth place. And, last in the points, Bob managed to limp in with -6 for the final point on offer for fifth place. Which, if anybody has been counting, leaves only two members out of the points on the day. NN, NPD. But, it shouldn’t be impossible to work out who, if you so wish!

The ProPin was set for the 12th hole today, and nobody was able to get close enough to put their name on the card. There was the usual hard luck story from Michael, claiming that he was a mere 200mm outside the limit, and not able to stretch the tape enough to be able to claim it. Anyhow, eleven dollars was barely worth winning. Come back next week for the Jackpot. The first BallPin was on the 15th, and Old Reliable was able to get his name on the card with a pretty fair shot. Porks insisted on stepping the distance out when Michael managed to get his a little bit closer to take out the ball on offer. On the 18th, for the second BallPin, it was Porks who made it closest and no stepping out needed as he was the sole contender. In what might have been the story of his day, he did not even make the par, although his birdie on the 13th brings him tantalisingly close to birdie or better for the course in the Eclectic and widens his margin in that event even more. As a result, he contributed to the measly total of four birdies on the cards for the day.

There was the final match of the semi-finals played today between Michael and Porks. For two of the lowest handicap holders in the Club, it would have to be said that the result came down to who played the least worse. All week there has been a bit of a cloud hanging over whether the match would even be played today as Ryan’s partner is due to deliver any time now, and discussions were held as to what would happen to the match if the call came part way through the round. A bit like AusPost the delivery is still parked in a facility somewhere, but Ryan could be forgiven for not concentrating as well as he might have. Indicative of that was the fact that he apparently took four shots to get onto the fairway while playing the second. By the finish of the 12th, Michael was five up. A nice little five iron into the 13th about 3m from the hole had him thinking that this would wrap it up, given that Ryan was off the back of the green on the start of the slope up the bank. Unperturbed, Ryan chipped it in for the birdie, which put the jitters into the opponent, who promptly missed the putt and lost the hole. A similar scenario played out on the next hole, and Michael began to think that the match could be slipping from his grasp. But, it was not to be, he won the 15th to finish the match 4 and 3, to book himself a place in the Finals while Ryan will have to content himself with a chance in the play-off for third.

The Birthday Birdie has a call to make this week, but he is having trouble getting his beak around ‘Doğum günün kutlu olsun’ as he prepares to wish Ben all the best for his day coming up. Also, a big shout-out to Keith from all of us to wish him a speedy recovery, and a quick return to golf and to his old form.

Results for Saturday, 30 Jul 2022
1st Craig Cameron (+1) 1st Stephen O’Sullivan (+1) 2nd Adam King (-3) 3rd Steven Gervasoni (-4) 3rd Geoff Lyall (-4) 4th Harry Boughen (-5) 4th Michael Gourlay (-5) 4th Robert Priems (-5) 5th Bob McDonald (-6)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (+1) 2nd Geoff Lyall (-4) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (-4) 3rd Harry Boughen (-5) 3rd Michael Gourlay (-5)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 15th Michael Gourlay BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker