Due to flooding, early in the week it looked like there might be no play on Jan 13, or perhaps only on 9 of the least flooded holes.

But come Saturday 7 members had a full course to play.

The ground staff were confident enough in their work to say there was no need for preferred lies and overall conditions were indeed pretty good despite the odd mud ball.

Putting on the 7th was interesting. The green had obviously been totally under water and was still brown and muddy. Most putts finished well short.

The lakes to the left of the 4th and in front of the 5th tee were prominent.

Thankfully the tee on the 4th was put so far forward it made the lake less intimidating, although Chris James was intimidated enough by the lake on the 5th to hit it straight in there.

There was also a lovely new bridge to admire on the 4th. Without it there would have been no way to get from tee to green. Even the most skeptical critics of the grounds-keeping at Royal Ivanhoe admitted the bridge was up there with their best work.

Once all the flood talk settled, very soon into the round the buzz around the course was could we beat the world record for lowest ever stableford score to get points (Harry the record is?).

As it happened the field was very strung out with no ties and Stan’s 27 points was enough for solo fifth.

Along the way, SoS had some trouble getting Johnny Q’s score right and John had to do the honest thing and instruct him to deduct a point, thereby missing the chance to join Stan on 27 by that point. Unfortunately John had not brought his Merimbula holiday form with him (40 points and some serious cash for a comp win up there).

Invitations to send stories of other holiday golfing stories brought nothing this week, although Gordo shared a lovely photo of himself already drunk at lunchtime at the Portarlington Mussel Festival.

Adam was the other player to miss points on the day. Chris J snared fourth with 28 points, SoS third with 31, Raj second with 34 and Michael snuck home for the win with 35.

Apart from Johnny Q’s draughtie on the 15th, the major highlight of the day discussed after the round was Stan’s birdie on the 5th. Due to lack of other highlights his partners took turns describing the second shot that went in and around the trees like a laser into about a metre from the hole from where the putt went right in the middle. SoS birdied the 3rd but no details emerged about how he did that. He was too busy enjoying John’s beer.

To entice a few more players this week, we have a ball jackpot on the 7th and a triple ProPin jackpot on the 15th. Raj won the ball on the 18th.

Results for Saturday, 13 Jan 2024
1st Michael Gourlay (35) 2nd Rajesh Mahto (34) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (31) 4th Chris James (28) 5th Stan Blackshaw (27)

Seniors Results: 1st Michael Gourlay (35) 2nd Stan Blackshaw (27)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 7th Jackpot BallPin No 2 – 18th Rajesh Mahto

There were no complaints about the weather for the January 2024 monthly medal, perhaps it was a touch hot, but all the talk was the crazy pins, pretty much all of them front left and very close to the edge of the green. The one on the 12th was borderline unplayable.

All 13 players agreed post-round that the front pins made chipping and approach shots very difficult and overall the course much harder than usual.  At least that was the best excuse we could come up with for some ordinary scoring.

The clubhouse leader Raj was looking good for quite a while with a net 72, before Gordo wandered in from the last group with a net 71 to take the medal and book himself into the 2024 Champion of Champions field. 

Gordo was also awarded best shirt of the day.

Raj’s 72 was good enough for solo second, with Peter and Michael sharing third place a shot further back on 73 and Adam and Brendan sharing fourth with 74. Harry then snuck himself a cheeky championship point with 75 for solo fifth.

Gordon’s round included an 8 on the 2nd and a 7 on the 13th but he steadied in the run home, including a great bounce-back birdie on the 14th.

Raj started his day with a great shot into the 1st to set up a birdie, an even better pitch and putt for par on the 2nd and on the 3rd his long range birdie putt was all but in the hole before missing by a millimetre. Alas he struck the dreaded 4th hole tree curse left off the tee and made 6 there and the hot start turned into a bit of a struggle. Raj added two more birdies on the back 9 and was the big mover in the Eclectic, jumping 10 places from 13th to 3rd.

Peter was pleased that his round gave him some points for both the main Club Championship and the Seniors. Apart from matching Gordo with an 8 on the 2nd, Peter’s card was very consistent and suggests once he gets the hang of the quirky Ivanhoe layout he might be seen more often in the points in future.

One of the many measures of the quality of play on the day was the number of birdies (4) was matched by the number of shouts called for after tee shots from Ken (1st) SoS (8th) Steve (11th) and Stan (15th).  Three of those, SoS, Steve and Stan were in the same group with Adam. A deal was done (not sure if this is within club rules?) where the three offenders didn’t buy drinks for each other, the argument being that each cancelled the other out. Then there was concern that Adam might need a taxi home as the drinks were all headed his way.

When asked for his highlights, Chris J said he made a 12 on the second. This blog isn’t long enough to explain how he managed that. Targe volunteered that he made 9 on the 14th after hitting his first out of bounds to the left and then his next into the pond on the right. Brendan volunteered that he 4-putted the 14th. Harry then reminded everybody that the blog was designed to highlight good golf stories, so the question was asked.  Silence.  End of stories.  End of blog!  Shortest ever!

A forgotten story on the day was the handy work of a Jack Russell on the 3rd green. After surveying his putt, Michael placed his ball and in swooped Jack Russell and without breaking stride picked the ball up did a u-turn and delivered it to a very apologetic owner walking the path. After Raj braved spider webs to retrieve the ball for Michael, a close inspection suggested no bite marks and the ball lasted the rest of the round despite a visit to the pond off the tee on the 5th.

There was a beach golf report from a “Skins” game in Golden Beach down Sale way on the 90 Mile Beach. Four club members were involved and Prez Priems cleaned up with 7 skins, Geoff and Josh one skin each and Captain Matty the big doughnut.  In future weeks, the blog will be happy to carry more holiday golf reports from those on a break from the pressure cooker of the hot competition at Royal Ivanhoe.

For those who can make it next week, there will be a jackpot ProPin on the 15th, despite Gordo wanting to claim the money for being within 5 metres but off the green. Michael bunted one down the 4th with his Jack Russell ball to take new the ball on offer there and Gordo snuck just inside Michael to win the ball on the 18th.

Results for Saturday, 06 Jan 2024
1st Gordon Hill (71) 2nd Rajesh Mahto (72) 3rd Michael Gourlay (73) 3rd Peter Sein (73) 4th Adam King (74) 4th Brendon Mitchell (74) 5th Harry Boughen (75)

Seniors Results: 1st Gordon Hill (71) 2nd Michael Gourlay (73) 2nd Peter Sein (73) 3rd Harry Boughen (75)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 4th Michael Gourlay BallPin No 2 – 18th Gordon Hill

Registrations were a bit slow early in the week, but the call to a Grand Sale, and the prospect of some ‘discounted’ points, seems to have inspired the masses into action. In the end, we had fifteen members line up for the final round of the calendar year. The Bureau had forecast the possibility of showers during the morning, and, true to form, the morning alternated between a bit of drizzle and full sunshine in typical Melbourne weather style. About halfway through the back nine, the course was hit by a squally shower that was quite heavy, and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Peter, who called it quits after the 13th. As a result, only fourteen made it to present their cards to the judges. The course was in good condition, even if a few of the greens were a bit leafy, and the weather conditions were hardly bad enough to have had a long term effect on the scoring. Captain Matt, had decided that he was going to ‘keep an eye’ on Stan to make sure that any tilt at making it three in a row was legitimate. Not only did Stan take out the ‘feather duster’ award, but Matt also went very close to joining him on the chopping block.

There were a few cards of note that made it to or near the top of the pile. Harry set out with one challenge in mind, and that was to confound Michael, and, at least, be in the Senior’s points. Squares were the result on the first five holes, with a couple of just missed par attempts. The swing got slightly out of groove on the 6th to produce the only minus on the card. The back nine produced another six squares, but the remaining pluses ended the round +3 overall. SOS, on the other hand, finished the first five holes two up, and rounded the corner on that score as well. His only blemish was on the tenth, and another couple of pluses after that also brought him home with three on the credit side of the ledger. Thus, we had a tied result for first place, and Harry was very pleased to have completely confounded Michael by taking out top place in the Seniors.

Second place overall, and second place in the Seniors, went to Geoff who managed to score one up on the way out, and one down on the way in to finish square with the card overall. It was reported that his putting did let him down on a number of occasions, none more so than on the 12th, where he got his name on the card for the BallPin, admittedly a fair way from the hole, and then proceeded to take four putts to finish the hole. This was a complete contrast to the 8th, where he chipped in from well out to make birdie, which represented exactly one quarter of the number that the whole field could manage for the day. In third place, just a single point behind, we had Targe. Targe started off a bit rough, but settled down a bit, and could easily have scored better if it had not been for a little mishap on the 6th hole. As is his wont, he parked his buggy pretty much adjacent to the ball position. Whether it was a shank or a toe, the ball took off at right angles to the intended line and crashed into the buggy, undoing the good work of a par on the previous hole.

Rob seems to have this happy knack of scoring pars (and the occasional birdie), which ends up giving him an ‘unfair’ advantage when it comes to the Eclectic. So, a good scattering of pars, with the resultant plus score, was able to save him, to finish with -3 and the 4th podium spot for the day. He was helped along by a chip in for a square on the 3rd after he had ‘missed’ the green, long, with his fourth shot. Presumably, he used his chipper, which will be one of his selected clubs for the three club challenge (not at the ‘Hoe) next weekend. Raj was not too forthcoming about what he reckoned was a poor average day, but he was perfectly happy to accept the point for fifth place. By and large, Brendon is not too fussed about the points on offer, he is far more interested in the money on offer for the ProPin, and the balls on offer for the BallPin. So, although he did get a point for sharing fifth, he was much more excited about collecting the Double Jackpot ProPin on the 7th (2.74m), and the ball from the 12th, where he squeezed out Harry, who squeezed out Rob, who squeezed out Geoff. ChrisV didn’t get off to a great start from the first tee, and a tendency to head the ball left on occasion did make scoring on some holes a little more difficult. But, given that he has played little in recent times, he was reasonably happy with his -4 and share of fifth.

The remaining BallPin on the 18th was to a pin placed on the lower deck, and, wouldn’t you know it, the top deck seemed to be more easily reached. The man who did make it onto the bottom deck and close enough to win a ball, was none other than Bobbie, who reckoned that it was the only decent shot he had hit all day. This might compensate a little for the fact that he ran over himself, in the car park, with his buggy, and he managed to capsize it twice during the round. Andrew managed to overshoot the green on the 2nd, and the ball finished half hidden in the lomandra. A penalty would have been too much to bear, and a right-handed shot was nigh on impossible. However, a left-handed shot did offer some hope. The ball was extricated, but only barely, and the effort was to no avail. Harry did get a bit hot under the collar at one stage. No, he wasn’t angry, the sun had come out, and he wanted to take off his rain jacket only to find that the zip was jammed in the up position. Andrew came to the rescue and managed to free it, saving H from a sweaty few holes. There were no reported draughties, but there was a suggestion that Stan had executed an airie on the 5th. Although he did not contact the ball, it did move a few centimetres, so does that still count? Matt lined up for a tap-in putt from about 150mm on the 17th, and the ball took off at about 45 degrees and missed the hole. It seems that he hadn’t wiped the face of his club, and there was a piece of twig stuck to the face with a bit of moisture, that resulted in the misadventure.

Results for Saturday, 30 Dec 2023
1st Harry Boughen (+3) 1st Stephen O’Sullivan (+3) 2nd Geoff Lyall (□) 3rd Targe Mifsud (-1) 4th Robert Priems (-3) 5th Rajesh Mahto (-4) 5th Brendon Mitchell (-4) 5th Chris Vinecombe (-4)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (+3) 2nd Geoff Lyall (□) 3rd Targe Mifsud (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 7th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 1 – 12th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 2 – 18th Bob McDonald

The list of people putting their hand up to play was looking a bit dire early in the week, but a bit of a late rush tipped us over the six to a comfortable eight. One withdrawal, two added guests (AndrewN brought alone his two pals, Barry and Verge), and two walk-ups resulted in eleven people teeing off to try for some ‘easier’ points. The forecast was for fine and warm and that is the way it turned out, with the feeling approaching ‘hot’ as the last few up-hills took their toll on flagging energy levels. The course was in good condition, and the sand (or was it fertiliser?) that was spread on the greens during the week was not noticeable. However, there were numerous reports of putts left short, and three-putt greens that prevented people from scoring better than they did. Seems that story has done the rounds before, or at least something very similar in content.

Before he teed off on the first, Stan had a bit of a whinge about the haircut that his handicap has taken last week. His par on the first was a portent of things to come. The pars kept coming, and with his second shot on the 9th finishing on the slope just below the green, he whacked up his best chip, and the ball rattled into the hole for birdie, and 39 off the stick for 23 points at the turn. He didn’t want to know his score for fear of putting himself off, but he did regardless, and the back nine was not quite so spectacular. Playing in new territory with only one stroke per hole, he accidentally cribbed a point on the 13th, which brought his final points score in at 38, after taking 84 strokes for the round. A triple on the 18th prevented him from at least matching his age, two weeks in a row, or even beating it with a simple bogie. Well done Stan. Michael arrived at the after-round table, glanced at the top card, and immediately went into ‘huff’ mode. If only he hadn’t left ‘x’ putts short, etc., etc.

JQ was in the field for the first time in a while, and Santa has determined that he is in the ‘nice’ corner, and is going to bring him a new set of irons for Christmas. One of the claims about his card was that he had every possible point score from 0 to 5 on his way to carding 38 points for the round as well. How do you score five points, you might ask? Well, what you do is take one of your ‘about to be pensioned off’ irons from about 149m out on the 16th fairway, and you watch it fly straight for the hole, land, take one bounce, and plonk into the hole. So, what with ten balls from the Eagles Nest, one from the ball run, and the dozen that he bought before teeing off, he should be well supplied for his trip to Merimbula. And the new set of irons might just have some company. The upshot of all this is that we actually had a three-way tie for first place.

Whitey was also on the blocks for the first time in a while, and he started off well enough before suffering a bit of a slump in the second half of the front nine, although he did manage to round the turn with 18 points in hand. A sprinkling of singletons through the back, was enough to pull him back to 16 points for the second half, and second place on his own in the points table. When Michael thought he had been beaten out of first place, he was consoled somewhat by the fact that, with those results standing, Whitey would have filled third place in the Seniors, and Harry would have missed out. In the event, the rearranged results moved Michael and Whitey up a notch and let Harry in with a point for his 33 and 3rd place on both podia.

Peter had one of those days. His game was good, except! The main problem seemed to be around the green, with the pitches carrying long, and the chipper alternating between short and long. On the 13th, they worked pretty well, and he was able to snag a bogie, that resulted in a very handy three points. On the 14th tee, Harry walked up, demanding an Uber ‘pick-up and delivery’ fee for rescuing the chipper and wedge from the middle of the 13th green. A gash on the 14th, down to said chipper and wedge, probably had Peter wishing that they had been left for the following group to pick up. SOS hit his first tee shot well enough, but it finished hard against the base of a tree, which didn’t get him off to a very good start. From the 3rd onwards, things picked up more than somewhat, until the 7th. There, a shrieking cockatoo was making its presence felt, and it finally got the better of SOS, who hefted his club in the general direction of the offending bird, which departed for parts unknown. Fortunately, the club returned to ground, and did not stay in the tree like once before. He then proceeded to duff his tee shot, and finished just shy of the red markers. Michael reckoned that the beer tasted so good, that he could easily be tempted to take it up again. Unperturbed, SOS whacked the ball onto the green and sank the putt for the par. At the end of the round, he had racked up 32 points, and joined Peter in 4th spot. Last in the points was Andrew, who fell into the final spot on offer with his 28 points.

Andrew, Barry and Verge were sent out in the first group with a very critical mission – to remember to put the NTP markers out on the 7th for the ProPin, and the 15th for the BallPin. Unlike last week, the mission was successfully accomplished. The tee marker was well back on the 7th, and the early betting was that the ProPin was unlikely to go off. Such a bet would have paid out, and there will be a Double Jackpot next week. A very good reason to register and come along. The BallPin of the 15th saw Barry get his name on the card with a ball that was barely on the front of the green. Peter was probably closer, but his ball was off. In the end, SOS put it beyond doubt, and he collected the ball(s) on offer. The BallPin on the 18th looked as if it too might have gone begging, until along came SOS, and made it a clean sweep of the balls.

ChrisJ monstered his drive on the first, and pitched on to a comfortable distance from the pin. The ball rattled into the hole for the easiest of birdies, one of the five (plus eagle) that we managed for the day. What happened on the 2nd didn’t bear mentioning, but he followed that with a par, and three points, so maybe things were going to be alright. On the 10th, he was again in a position to birdie, but the putt slipped by, and his partners wondered whether it was on purpose so as not to ‘jinx’ the back nine. If so, it was to no avail, and just let’s say it wasn’t a good day at the office. Verge managed to put one past a fence somewhere, and had to execute a commando crawl to get under the wires to retrieve his ball. According to reports, only the crawl was ‘commando’.

Results for Saturday, 23 Dec 2023
1st Stan Blackshaw (38) 1st Michael Gourlay (38) 1st John Quinlan (38) 2nd Rodney White (34) 3rd Harry Boughen (33) 4th Peter Sein (32) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan (32) 5th Andrew Noble (29)

Seniors Results: 1st Michael Gourlay (38) 1st Stan Blackshaw (38) 2nd Rodney White (34) 3rd Harry Boughen (33)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 7th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 15th Stephen O’Sullivan BallPin No 2 – 18th Stephen O’Sullivan

Eagle’s Nest Results: Eagle – 16th John Quinlan