It’s easy to see why so many of our members claim to have foreign roots (and I don’t mean the nationality of their wives/girlfriends).  There was a fairly comprehensive whitewash by The Rest if the prize list is any indication.  Although a group by group analysis was not carried out, Harry seems to have been the only Aussie who prevailed by giving Mehm a thrashing on the back nine after a fairly average front nine that lulled the Turk into a false sense of security.  Although Harry did have to buy a round of drinks for Mehm and Cem as the result of an errant drive on the second.

The performance of the day however came from Mike, who blitzed the front nine and kept the game together on the back to front the judges with 40 points.  A nice new handicap and leadership of the points table in both Championships was the outcome for Mike.  Zimmer continues his comeback to regular playing and together with Targe came in to second place with just one less point less than Mike.  A small gap to Ben on 37 points completed the list of those that moved their handicap down.

After some confusion about the placement of the marker for the Nearest the Pin (you didn’t forget to put it out on the 12th did you first group?), Zimmer collected a ball on the 18th.  The run for the money was a close call with Rod in with a very good chance for most of the day with 1.87m on the 15th but he was pipped at the post by Noodles with a marginally better 1.85m.  Well done both of you but unfortunately for Rod, Noodles nicked off with the dosh for the ProPin.

Despite the good playing conditions (except for the water hazards on a couple of greens) birdies were not that prevalent with eight plodded.  The Eagles Nest is slowly starting to fill and the big bird is watching apprehensively to fight off any prospective egg thieves.

Cem Ertekin played with us today.  Another Turk, another Fuzz, another good bloke.  Does have divided loyalties though and won’t be along again until his other Club Championships are over.  The handicapper will be keeping a close eye on the cards he puts in as his handicap from his home course looks a bit over the mark for Royal Ivanhoe.  Welcome Cem.

Despite gathering a few points recently, married life maybe hasn’t agreed with Craig as he was a bit off his game today and he was heard increasing the chances of having to move the 13th tee yet again (and maybe a couple of others as well).  Dennis seems to be rueing his winning performance last week and is looking to claw back some of the lost handicap.  He hit a wrong ball on the 9th and said he ‘lost it’.  I assume he meant his concentration and not the ball he hit.  He certainly didn’t score as well from then on and will get a handicap increment back.  Still, you have to ask, what difference does an extra stroke/point make in the scheme of things?

Because Gordon will be away next week, it has been decided that the Club meeting will be postponed until the week after.  If you have any matters for discussion, please get them into the President or Secretary ASAP.  The committee would prefer that topics are not just brought up on the day so that some thought can be put into matters beforehand and they might be better resolved.

Results for Saturday, 23 February 2013
1st Mike Mann(40) 2nd Kazim Akdag(39) 2nd Targe Mifsud(39) 3rd Ben Akdag(37) 4th Andrew Petricola(36) 4th Mo Sabih(36) 5th Harry Boughen(35) 5th Chris Priems(35)

There was a distinct lack of attendance from the younger members of our little group – something to do with a Buck’s Do or did they all just go to the Australia Day celebrations.  Even without the ragers we managed to scare up 18 players with the help of two visitors – Angelo was back again and Gilbert Demiri came along and plans to join us in due course when he gets his three cards in.

As a result of something of a bias to your more senior player in the field, the oldies had a bit of a field day and savoured the points that were on offer.  Continuing his good form of late was Trevor with a very creditable +3 off his recently lowered handicap and for his trouble it has been lowered somewhat again.  With the points, he has now caught up with Ken on the front row of the Championship grid.  Bill, Dennis and Oliver put in quite nice performances to fill the next rank with +2.

Bob is another one who has been having a bit of a streak at the moment  and scored third spot on his Pat Malone.  Then followed the two squares Tony and Gordon.  Being square seems to be something of a regular thing for Gordon in particular.  The last pair to podium was Brendon and Rod who both fell just short of playing to their handicap with -1.

The Nearest the Pin went to Dennis on the 4th while Harry did Gilbert out of the contest for the ProPin on the 12th putting it 1.6m out.  Unfortunately, the putt slipped by and so a par had to be settled for.  Speaking of birdies there were only eight plodded today, probably reflecting the lower numbers of players as much as anything.

It seems that Trevor was having a few words to say about how he was playing despite the final result – some people are never satisfied.  Bob had also been advised not to say anything and he complied for a while but when he was three up after the 6th he apparently couldn’t help himself and broke his silence.

Tony is getting to be well known in his quest to acquire balls and today he was picking them up in abundance from all over the course.  No wonder there was so much muttering and cursing about lost balls after the game.  Ken managed to keep clear of the trees today and wasn’t too far from being in the points.  Must be getting used to his lower handicap.  Mal Adey tried to stick with the advice that he got last week to ‘play better’ (with a couple of reminders from Harry) and for a while there it seemed to be working but then in the middle of the round the wheels fell off for a while.

There were only a couple of patriotic types in the group.  People thought Gordon had gotten himself an Aussie ‘hair hat’ but it turns it was only his real hair doing an impersonation.  Targe wore a shirt with the southern cross etc across the chest and he proudly pointed it out to all and sundry until somebody pointed out that it had no collar.  Still the dress code enforcers weren’t out and about so he got away with it.  Bill says he will be consulting with Slater and Gordon after Gordon (no connection with the latter) attacked him about the shins with the Treasurer’s Bag after the game.

Don’t forget that your subs are due.  I think they are supposed to be paid before the Matchplay draw next week.

Results for Saturday, 26 January 2013
1st Trevor Jackson(+3) 2nd Bill Eastoe(+2) 2nd Oliver Gross(+2) 2nd Dennis Tiernan(+2) 3rd Bob McDonald(+1) 4th Gordon Hill(□) 4th Tony Mifsud(□) 5th Rod Grant(-1) 5th Brendon Mitchell(-1)

I think we are going ot have to declare the eagle an endangered species what with all the raids on the poor old bird’s nest.  One last week, two this week.  The two this week went to Chris who virtually slam dunked his on the 3rd while Damo’s was never in doubt as it rolled up the green to fall in the hole on the 11th.  According to the Club Rules the single ball in the nest should have gone to Chris having scored his earlier in the round, but an executive decision determined that both would be paid.  Well done chaps and as a result the Nest is back to one egg for next week.

The course was in pretty good nick considering the lack of rain recently and the management had obviously done some serious watering and the greens had been mown so it is not surprising that some good scores were turned in.  The king of the castle this week was SOS with 39 points which will set his handicap back just a tad.  The fact that his card was marked by his mate from the Academy, Andrew, caused some questions to be asked.  Andrew Costello might be joining us and will be putting his cards in but it does depend on whether he gets posted to the bush or not when the postings come out.  Mehm is probably hoping that it is SOS who gets posted to the bush.

Targe was hoping to get his handicap down to match his brother but was foiled by a card with three gashes that still managed to accumulate 38 points.  Targe almost didn’t get to complete the round when his talking GPS insisted in telling the group that they were on the green while Craig was putting.  Oliver, Rod, Trevor and Damien were not too far behind on 37.  All had their excuses but Damo was testing a new driver and after about three holes, steam was seen coming out of his ears as he struggled to keep to his own fairway.  He calmed down by the back nine and managed to pull together a reasonable score (helped by the eagle of course).

Mehm, Harry and Gordon didn’t do their handicap any good or any harm by coming in on 36 points and the last of the championship points went to Mal Adey who absolutely burned up the back nine for 24 points after taking Damo’s advice to ‘play better’.

The ball for the nearest the pin and the ProPin went to the same golfer, Targe Mahal – the eighth wonder of the world – according to Targe anyway.

Bill was standing next to Harry before some long putts on the 11th and commented that one of these putts is going to go in.  Harry proceeded to sink the putt for the birdie.  Unfortunately Bill just lipped the cup and had to settle for the par.  Speaking of birdies, besides the two eagles there were a total of 19 carded today.  That’s just about as many as I can recall since I’ve been paying attention to it.

Tony seems to think that he has some sort of magic powers because (according to him at least) somebody in his group always has a good round.  Maybe that’s just relative.  There were also a couple of ‘near misses’ reported today, some of which had a call, some of which didn’t.  Although a call might not necessarily prevent a strike, it’s not much of an effort really.

Ken still seems to be intent on leaving a ball up a tree somewhere with another effort today.   Another player had some tree ‘difficulties’ managing to tangle with three on the third before almost slam-dunking it into the hole for his par.  Well done Pepsi.  Although Chris and Mehmet played in the same group you would never have guessed since Chris wasn’t held up but Mehm had to wait for every shot.

Speaking of speed of play, it is recommended that you do keep up with the group in front and if there is a fairway free in front you should consider letting groups behind through.  Playing ‘ready’ golf can have a remarkable effect in speeding up the play.  On the other hand, if the group in front has their running shoes on, it can be off-putting trying to hurry your game.

There was another case today for checking scores hole by hole although this week it did not affect potential point-scorers.  This involved different score recording as well as point calculation errors that disguised the discrepancy when only the card totals were compared.  As the player signed for more strokes, those strokes stand and the points were adjusted accordingly.  If the strokes signed for had been less, then, theoretically, the person could be disqualified from the competition.  That could be embarrassing if it was someone in the winners circle.

Quite a number of people ante’d up their annual sub today and Brendon will be only too happy to collect the rest at your earliest convenience.  Also don’t forget to let Ben know your thoughts on the Murray Downs venue for the Annual Challenge.

Results for Saturday, 19 January 2013
1st Stephen O’Sullivan(39) 2nd Targe Mifsud(38) 3rd Rod Grant(37) 3rd Oliver Gross(37) 3rd Trevor Jackson(37) 3rd Damien Lee(37) 4th Mehmet Akdag(36) 4th Harry Boughen(36) 4th Gordon Hill(36) 5th Malcolm Adey(35)

Well, well, well – talk about three holes in the ground.  Where to start.  There were people complaining how badly they were doing and plodding heaps of plusses and people who thought they were doing all right but finding themselves towards the back of the field.  Plus three or better to score a point, where will it end.  At the end of the handicappers hatchet hopefully.

Despite all that and more strength to his arm, congratulations are well and truly due to Mal who turned with a plus five and despite a couple of wobbles on the back thrust his chest out in a lunge to the line to take first place from a brace of players on plus six. After a round on Thursday, Mal was heard to comment that this had been a practice for Saturday – must have been a darn good practice.

Trevor was contemplating the extra winners penalty stroke for a while until he was joined by Damien and then Andrew B in the eventual second place spot.  Andrew will be happy with the ball he collected in the ball run since he managed to lose three and still turned in a score.

Chrispy had thought himself a chance but had to be satisfied with not having to share third place with anyone with a handicap sapping +5.  Next cabs off the rank were Oliver and Tony who were only able to manage a meagre plus four.

Last but not least a point each went to Mo and Targe.  What happened to Ben you might ask.  Well, it seems that Ben and Targe made compensating errors in calculating Ben’s points so that their strokes and points agreed but unfortunately the correct answerwas that Ben only had +2 and so was not eligible to collect a point this time.  A good reason to check off hole by hole and not just the totals at the end of the round.

Tony was jumping out of his skin again when he collected another ball for his collection by snagging the nearest the pin on the 15th while Andrew B was smiling all the way to the bank with the proceeds from the ProPin on the 4th.  Andrew didn’t manage the birdie but there were eleven others and the big bird is broken hearted after Mehmet raided the nest with an eagle on the 17th.  Mehmet was a bit lucky to get the eagle as the ball went very close to going into the hole from the tee leaving him with the shortest of putts that he wanted to play with a pool cue but settled for a very short grip on his putter.  The tee shot must have been something of a contrast to a shot on the previous hole where a fallen branch was deemed to not come into play.  Unfortunately it did and the subsequent ricochets placed his next shot from somewhere behind him.

There obviously mustn’t have been any slow play today to put Damo off his game considering the score but he did complain that he had stuffed up the last hole.   Oliver claims that he has never hit his drives so long and he was having trouble adjusting for the shorter approaches into the green.  Maybe the drier course has something to do with the run.  As an aside, Gordon is the only square in the field.  Pepsi was heard advising himself in no uncertain terms and fairly vehemently to stop moving his head, and this was only while putting.  Chrispy obviously has been taking lessons from Ken and as well as running his ball up a tree he also managed to leave it lodged in the branches.  The shank of the day goes to Harry who plonked a nice drive down the 8th with a wide open shot to the green only to nearly scone Bob and put it into the billabong.  The replay finished pin high (where the first effort should have been) but the putt for a square proved elusive.  Targe apparently gratefully accepted what is affectionately known as the moron’s flag.

Social Secretary Ben announced that he has been looking at venues for the Annual Challenge (away weekend) and one place that can accommodate the expected sort of group is Murray Downs at Swan Hill.  Ben would like an indication of likely interest so that he can firm up on the tentative reservation that he has made.  As I recall the cost will be about $260 for golfers including golf, accommodation on course, breakfast and dinner – slightly cheaper for non-playing partners.  Check the website for more details of the course and location.

Also just a reminder that the annual sub is now due ($20) so if you can all ante up to the treasurer or his assistant asap that would be good.

Results for Saturday, 12 January 2013
1st Malcolm Fleming(7) 2nd Andrew Blight(6) 2nd Trevor Jackson(6) 2nd Damien Lee(6) 3rd Chris Priems(5) 4th Oliver Gross(4) 4th Tony Mifsud(4) 5th Targe Mifsud(3) 5th Mo Sabih(3)