Talk about wimps of the first water.  First sign of a bit of water from above and they wimp out in droves.  However, thirteen dedicated golfers turned out to chance their arm with the course and were rewarded with greens that would actually hold a ball.  Provided of course that you didn’t gut it and send it flying who knows where.  It wasn’t all down to the threatening weather though as it was suggested that Chrispy might not have been too Chrisp this morning and was much more likely to be a bit on the limp side.

We all remember that Noodles set a cracking pace for point scoring through the winter last year and maybe he has just started this years campaign with an event winning total of +4 points and all of those racked up on the front nine.  Did he hold it together or did he run dead?  And as you can see, he doesn’t really come in a shiny yellow packet!

Next cab off the rank was the Midget from Malta, Targe, very close behind on +3.  Targe played it the other way around by squaring the front and beating up the back.  It is not clear what went on between Targe and Craig out on the course, but Craig was very generously volunteering to let Targe buy him a drink every week at the 19th Hole.

Damo was only half offended when he was dropped back from the second group to even up the numbers for the last two groups but he seems to have gotten over it to put together a respectable enough score of +2 though he does admit that it ‘could have been better’.  Harry, who was responsible for the relegation ended up with the same score and the same commentary on the potential outcome.

Gordon wasn’t able to reproduce his final shot from last week’s round though it wasn’t from want of encouragement from those hoping for another round of drinks.  Still, two in two weeks would be a bit much to hope for and an even card was the best that he could scare up.  He was heard to admonish himself after a couple of less than high standard shots.  A three way tie for the last points was shared by Craig, Trevor and Mo.  Craig was also heard to protest vigourously on a couple of occasions

For the second week in a row, the same name appeared on the Nearest the Pin and the ProPin but unfortunately Harry was not able to emulate MalA’s efforts by taking the event as well.  Considering the size of the field, the eight birdies carded probably wasn’t too bad though Harry did not appear in the count.

Damo still has his nose in front on the Championship Table and the three points today didn’t do him any harm.  However, there is still plenty of time and points for somebody to be able to crash tackle him from behind.  The Senior’s is much more of a close run thing and although Mike is still outright leader the lead could change in any number of ways over the next few weeks.

Trevor made a comeback from his back injury even though it still gives him a bit of curry.  There certainly wasn’t too much wrong with his golf for the first dozen holes.  Craig’s achilles is also reported to be OK and it hasn’t yet been blamed for any shortfall in his results.

Pepsi went close to driving the green on the 9th and the 11th but reckons he had no idea where the ball was going to go when it left the tee for most of the day.  Most people would kill to be able to spray them and still have 74 off the beater.

The Club is on the verge of having its registration with VicGolf and an option is available to take a six month affiliation to align things with the calendar year.  So for those of you that have a membership with another organisation, if you can hold off renewing your membership for a week or two, the club will free-carry you until the new membership year.  We are not sure what information we will have to provide to transfer your current membership to us but hopefully it will only be name and current membership number.  As soon as we know, we will let you know.  Also, for those who do not currently have an official handicap, if you could, let us know whether you want to be registered with us as soon as possible.  Hopefully, we will be able to use your old cards to qualify for an official handicap.  The Club handicapping system and events will continue to be used, the only difference will be that you will have a different member number for the inside events.

Results for Saturday, 18 May 2013
1st Stephen Butterfield(+4) 2nd Targe Mifsud(+3) 3rd Harry Boughen(+2) 3rd Damien Lee(+2) 4th Gordon Hill(□) 5th Trevor Jackson(-2) 5th Mo Sabih(-2) 5th Craig Sharp(-2)

Well, the greens were a bit sandy and if you believe some people they were deemed to be fast.  Or maybe , we were just hitting the ball too hard.  Whatever the reason, the field was divided into two camps – those that tore the course apart and those that didn’t.  The one who really did star was Mr Shipping, MalA.  A pretty speccy 41 points will do his handicap no good but the points in both the main Championship and the Seniors will do his position in the table no harm.  Apparently all he had to do was hit the ball up the middle and sink a few putts and that was that.  Simple really.

His spell on the turf at Rosanna, obviously hasn’t done Ken any harm as he racked up 39 points to take second spot and gave Gordo a bit of a hiding in their Matchplay as well.  The deed in that event was done at the 16th with a 4 & 2 result.  This was the first match of the second round which only has a month to complete so better jump to it lads.  The last match in the first round was also played today and Noodles got up over Sharpie 3 & 1.  Craig can’t blame his injury as he was heard to say that it was all good after the round.

Next cab off the rank was Bill the Beast(oe) with a (just) handicap breaking 37 points.  The score could have been somewhat less except for a very favourable bounce on the 13th that converted a potential swim in the hazard into an ‘easy’ up and down for the birdie.  Speaking of birdies, we only carded seven today so there must have been something happening on and around the greens.

Speaking of happenings on the greens, Craig was so cheesed off at dropping his Matchplay, he gave Gordo a hurry-up on the 18th to get it all over.  Gordo, stepped up, didn’t take his usual practice swing and very nicely, thank you very much, didn’t get overly excited when Craig called it as likely in the hole.  Good call Craig – better than you seemed to be doing on the neddies at presentation time!  The ball was one that Gordon pulled out of his bag after going astray on the 17th and it was only the third time he had hit the thing on the day.  And he never uses that brand normally.  Everyone appreciated the generous tab that Gordon provided and certainly hope he can do it again sometime soon.  He was even heard to offer to take the missus out to dinner.  Maybe he is hoping to get lucky twice in one day!  The score of 1 for 5 points made a nice symmetry with his marker Ken, who had a 5 for 1 point on the same hole.

Anyway, the eagle is a bit bitter about losing her little nest egg so it is back to only one on offer next week.

Further down the list in the results table were Damo and Noodles on 34 points and Oliver, Ben and Targe on 33 points.  It seems that Bill can’t add up and Targe can’t read.  The addition was correct on the card that Targe marked but he didn’t pick up the difference on his own.  But the scores were correct and that is all that is required – but, do try to be careful and check that you agree with your marker in all aspects if only to save embarrassment.

MalA obviously had command of all aspects of his game today by getting his name on the Nearest the Pin on the 7th as well as on the ProPin on the 12th.  So now Mal has both balls and money!  And a new handicap.

It was good to see Gilbert Demiri in the field today to put in his third card so he now has a Club handicap and will be eligible in future for trophies and points.  Perhaps he should have held off for a week before putting in a 41 pointer from his nominal 17 handicap.

Ben knows who you are and where you live, so those who haven’t paid their deposit for the Annual Challenge Weekend had better ante up soon or he will be making calls to his friend Terry Wrist to ‘take care of business’.

Results for Saturday, 11 May 2013
1st Malcolm Adey(41) 2nd Ken Grist(39) 3rd Bill Eastoe(37) 4th Stephen Butterfield(34) 4th Damien Lee(34) 5th Ben Akdag(33) 5th Oliver Gross(33) 5th Targe Mifsud(33)

Although we are approaching the start of winter, conditions today must have been pretty benign despite a few threatening clouds and the faintest few spots of rain.  The stars certainly aligned for Eddie who managed to match the card on the front nine and had only a minor fade-out on the back to come in with a 75 off the beater for a net 57.  That’s right – 57.  And all this on what used to be an eighteen handicap.  Rumour has it that if he had played the inside comp, he would have had an even more devastating 51 net.

Gordon walked into the scorers tent with a fairly smug look on his face to hand in his 61 net only to be suitably downcast when he heard Eddies score.  Even so, he was exhorting the handicapper to check the cards carefully but unfortunately for Gordo, it was all ship-shape and Bristol fashion.  Tony, thought he could have played better (don’t we all?) but it is hard to see another six strokes.  Ever steady Mo and Richard filled out the last two placings. There were even a couple of players who scored a handicap cut, but didn’t make the points table.

There were two Matchplay matches contested today with David beating Damo 4 and 2 and Jan beat RodW 2 and 1.  There is only one match left in Round 1 and that will be between Craig and Noodles next week.  Round 2 only has a month to complete so don’t take too long to arrange your matches.

We are now leading up to the half way mark in the playing year and the championship tables are stringing out a bit but there are still plenty of points up for grabs so the bunch of front runners at the moment are not in an unassailable position by any means.

The Nearest the Pin was on the 4th today and Eddie was the last one to put his name on the tag and so is the proud owner of a new ball.  He made the birdie and managed a few others in his round.  In fact, there were a few triple headers amongst the total of twenty that turned up today.  The Eagle avoided any attention as well so the nest fills slowly.

Andrew B saved his only shot of the day until the 18th and put his tee shot to within 2 metres to take out our ProPin as well as holding out hope the the inside dividend as well.  Noodles, who spent most of the round distracted by his mobile phone (I thought etiquette demanded that you turn them off), also pulled out one of his better shots to finish within spitting distance of matching Andrew’s shot for the money.  Not sure who Noodles was sexting so assiduously, but he was heard discussing with SOS what was the age of consent in Victoria!

Harry had an indifferent start to the round but after five pars in seven holes he was getting to be known as the brides nighty – up and down.  However at the eighteenth, he needed four pokes to find the hole.  Jan’s matchplay was so full of tension, that when it went dormie at the fifteenth , Jan’s nerves almost got the better of him, particularly when he lost the sixteenth.  He duffed his drive on the 17th and only just managed to snare the match with a halved hole at five strokes apiece.

Oliver and Eddie were having a bit of a shoot-out in the early stages of the round going blow for blow and birdie for birdie for the first six holes.  However Oliver was on a hiding to nothing with the ten stroke difference in handicap.  Craig was back this week after his achilles injury and soldiered on for about twelve holes before calling it quits.  Hope it only needs some R&R and that it hasn’t been aggravated too much.  In any case, Craig has promised to be back next week to take on Noodles in the Matchplay.

The draw for partners seems to have worked reasonably well this week and if we can keep up the good work by getting to the club well before the first tee time then the tee marshals job should be much easier.  Everybody seemed to be aware of it so they read their e-mail if not the posting on the web.  However, nobody seemed to notice that the date on the Next Week Details hadn’t been changed for about three weeks.  Still, I guess you would all know not to turn up three weeks ago!

Ben will be looking for his deposit money next week so if you haven’t paid up, beware, or he will sool the Taliban onto you.

The players statistics have been updated so if you want to assess whether you are g.b. or g.w., click on the links.  You can also ogle your mates as well.

Results for Saturday, 04 May 2013
1st Ed Kloprogge(57) 2nd Gordon Hill(61) 3rd Tony Mifsud(63) 4th Mo Sabih(65) 5th Richard Hall(66)

After three rounds of Par in a row, you would reckon that people would have worked out where they get strokes and where they don’t.  There were a couple of errors showed up today.  Just a bit more care please chaps.

Anyway, a damn fine round by Oliver put him in as a clear winner with a corrected score of +6 from a three over par 71 off the beater.  All this and playing with Eddie as well.  Oliver claims that he played just as well as last week except that he wasn’t three putting.  It is amazing what a difference such a little thing will make to your score.  I wonder has anybody noticed this effect before?

Mo and Dennis were Club-house leaders for quite a long stretch and Dennis seemed to be hoping desperately for someone to come in better than him as he reckons getting one less ball for second is far better than losing an extra stroke for winning.  Zimmer moved up to second spot with his corrected score.

The two Andrews and Mike didn’t do their handicaps too much harm while Bill, Tony and Chris will maintain the status quo with their fourth place result.  Harry scored the last of the points up for grabs today.

The pin markers got swapped about today from the nominated holes and so Pepsi scored the ball for the Nearest the Pin while the ProPin went to Jan with quite a fine shot.  Seems he didn’t convert it into a birdie but there were 18 of our feathered friends between the lot of us.  Richard went close to getting an eagle on the 17th after leaving his 7 iron from the tee a bit short of the green.  He reckons his 5 iron is too long and he claims he can’t hit a 6.

There was one Matchplay contest this week but unfortunately Trevor had to retire hurt and Richard goes through to the second round on a forfeit.  Give that back a good rest Trevor and we’ll see you back sometime soon.  Still a few matches to be decided in the first round and only a couple of weeks to go.  If second round pairs wish to play, they don’t have to wait (unless you are sweating on getting some strokes back – not that anyone would do that!).

There have been reports of rats on the course, and not in the context of the morals of the players.  Noodles had a close call with something that looked like a rat and there was a ball lying on the 11th tee that had been chewed through the cover.  Perhaps it thought the ball was an egg.  Certainly didn’t make it far into the ‘yolk’.

Tony seems to be very much in love with the putter that he bought recently from Mike.  It seems it took quite a while to consummate the deal and there was talk that Tony had tried the putter during a round.  He claims that it was for a practice putt and not for a competition putt so not the subject of a retrospective disqualification.  With all the talk of performance enhancing substances in other sports there were also claims that the sweets that some players handed around during the game contained variously performance enhancing or performance deteriorating substances.  Or maybe it is just our natural inconsistency showing through.

The field was awash with Akdags this week with all three on deck though they are abandoning ship next week to play an away match.

Ben will be looking for the deposits for the Club Challenge weekend in the next couple of weeks as there are only a few outstanding.  He raised the question of running a prize pool with a lottery draw for golfing equipment with a $50 ante from each player attending.  If people can indicate their willingness or otherwise to participate in such a lottery, Ben would much appreciate it.

We will also begin a trial of making a random draw to make up the groups.  When you register hand in a named and handicapped card to the Tee Marshall.  At 0715, a random draw from the cards will be made to determine the first group and so on.  If you have a valid reason for being the first group, please advise the Tee Marshall and he will place you in that group before the draw.  Matchplay pairs should also advise so that they can be paired.  No other exceptions will be made except for guest players on request.  The first drawn player will be the captain for that group and will be responsible for getting the group to the tee on time and for keeping up with the group in front.

Results for Saturday, 27 April 2013
1st Oliver Gross(+6) 2nd Kazim Akdag(+2) 2nd Mo Sabih(+2) 2nd Dennis Tiernan(+2) 3rd Andrew Blight(+1) 3rd Mike Mann(+1) 3rd Andrew Petricola(+1) 4th Bill Eastoe(□) 4th Tony Mifsud(□) 4th Chris Priems(□) 5th Harry Boughen(-1)