There has to be an explanation.  Was it playing off the ‘back’ black markers?  Was it the unlucky field size of thirteen?  Was it the on again, off again drizzle and wind and the up again and down again umbrellas?  Was it the fact that Ryan was back in the field? Or was it just a field of pretty average golfers?  Whatever the reason, it would have to be a while since nobody went within cooee of matching their handicap and our November Monthly Medallist had to put up with being accused of winning two medals with pretty ordinary scores.  Politeness forbids repeating the words actually used.  As a guide, there were only four birdies recorded and the ProPin went begging and will jackpot to next week though the divvy was a dollar short due to some sort of accounting error, presumably by somebody extracting shrapnel from their over-deep pockets.

Regardless of the score, the best score on the day won the event and even though equal scores came in, a count-back wasn’t required as Targe had been off gallivanting and missed out on qualifying to win the Medal.  Even so, SOS would have won on a count-back anyway.  It was even suggested that SOS had emulated Steven Bradbury by skating through a field littered with fallen golfers.  As a consolation, Targe gathered the top seniors points as well as the top Championship points.

Bob and Simon came in next just a couple of strokes behind and if it hadn’t been for a few hard luck chips and putts by Bob, then the overall result could have been rather different (or not).  Simon had to dash off and there were no reports of hard luck suffered on his behalf.

CraigC had a mind to celebrate his birthday today with a top performance but had to settle for third place along side Gordon.  He did pick up a ball on the 12th for the Nearest the Pin and his birdie there was one of the collection recorded.  This also improved his eclectic score but he still has a way to go the catch Pepsi who is starting to look secure with only three more rounds to go before stumps.

The real hard luck story of the day comes from Mehm who claimed to have single putted 12 greens and two putted the rest but still could only net 76.  Still it did get him one more point that Ryan who scooped up the last point on offer today.  That leaves Mehm eight points (or just one win) behind Ryan and, as for the Eclectic, there are only three rounds to go.  Of course, Mehm is on record as wanting to beat Ryan without scoring a win so he is going to need a couple of seconds quick smart and for Ryan to be kept out of the points.  Should be interesting for the December medal on 28th November.

Chrispy might have been away doing battle with the publicans in Mansfield but he was certainly here in spirit as Snags channeled him by using the trees to great advantage to keep his ball in play.  The putting was off a bit as well and at one stage he was imagining the pin was a tree in the hope that it would improve his ‘aim’.  We also had more than a fair share of draughties today with Blighty, Bob and Harry owning up.  There were more than a few sevens, three ‘fat ladies’ on one card, at least one nine and, to cap it all off, legs eleven on another.

Noodle’s putting was going so bad that he resorted to using the back of his wedge and his driver to putt as his desperation grew.  The actual putter was in real danger of being (if not actually) thrown away.  Snags reckoned that he could have won $37,000 if only he had boxed his family’s birthdates in the Cup.  Targe let his misogynistic streak show when he reckoned that the large majority of people who backed the winner in the Cup were female though perhaps he did not put it quite so politely.

Just so that Mal doesn’t feel left out, he too was celebrating his birthday today, though he wasn’t able to celebrate by playing golf, being otherwise occupied.

Just a reminder, the Club stroke play championship will be played over the three weeks of 28 Nov, 05 Dec and 12 Dec.  This will coincide with the Course management Championship as well so a chance for some double dipping.  Our Christmas Breakup will be on 19th December and Gordon would like to get an idea of numbers attending to help with the catering.  Please make your intentions known.

Results for Saturday, 07 November 2015
1st Targe Mifsud(71) 1st Stephen O’Sullivan (MM)(71) 2nd Bob McDonald(73) 2nd Simon Powell(73) 3rd Craig Cameron(75) 3rd Gordon Hill(75) 4th Mehmet Akdag(76) 5th Ryan Porker(78)

Seniors Results: 1st Targe Mifsud (71) 2nd Simon Powell (73) 2nd Bob McDonald (73) 3rd Gordon Hill (75) 3rd Craig Cameron (75)

What a day.  Predictions of rain and pestilence did not deter a modest group of 14 IMSGC golfers. The weather started off OK, but turned a little nasty a couple of hours after tee off. A number of players took notice of the sirens from other courses and decided to finish their rounds at a time when there were some very wet greens.  But, after a 15 minute delay, the weather cleared and the remaining players continued the round under very humid but fine skies.  The greens drained very quickly and the course played well after this.

Our newest member Steve Kelly handed in a very respectable round of +5, well ahead of any of the competition so Ivanhoe obviously suits his game better than Alexandra.  Nice score ‘Ned’ – welcome to a handicap under 10 (almost).  Second place, on square, was filled by the ‘bridesmaid-edging-closer-to-the-Championship-lead’ Mehmet,  and ‘back-in-town-with-me-new-clubs’ Sharpie.  Obviously, the new clubs were well fitted and didn’t require a lot of ‘breaking-in’ though there was some of the latter involved in getting rid of the old ones.

Third place to went to Rob Priems on -2 (under protest from Chrispy – something to do with next week’s Mansfield weekend away?).  The fourth spot was shared by Gordo, Taner and Chris V with -3.  Chrispy got to share the final slot on -6 with Ed.  It seems that Chris forgot that his handicap had gone down to 8 and that he no longer gets a stroke on the 18th and, what is even worse, his marker didn’t pick it up either.  But, yes, Chris will take the point – he’s desperate.  No mention for the one player who did finish and didn’t get a point.

Unfortunately for the hopefuls in the race for the Seniors, it was pretty hard to keep Gordon out of the points and, in fact, there weren’t enough finishers in the category to fill all places.  There were some movements in the Eclectic as well, but not by those with a chance to close the gap to the leader.

Eddie managed an eagle on the 17th  (after a series of double bogies – go figure) and NTP for the jackpot ball hole that was eventually put out on the 15th (by Ed?).  The ProPin on the 18th, which was also a Jackpot, was won by team Sharpie – the group agreeing to sharing the prize and then posting 4 shots that, in order, got closer and closer to the pin (sorry Chris V – you’ll get one soon).  So, besides the Nest robbing by Eddie, there were 6 birdies carded which is probably fair enough given the weather conditions.

And, while on the subject of birdies, the Birthday Birdie has a very busy week as he has to deliver greetings to Damo, Mal and CraigC and there could very well be a shortage of candles if they all claim their full complement.

See you all next week for the November monthly medal.

Results for Saturday, 31 October 2015
1st Stephen Kelly(+5) 2nd Mehmet Akdag(□) 2nd Craig Sharp(□) 3rd Robert Priems(-2) 4th Gordon Hill(-3) 4th Taner Kemal(-3) 4th Chris Vinecombe(-3) 5th Ed Kloprogge(-6) 5th Chris Priems(-6)

Seniors Results: 1st Taner Kemal (-3) 1st Gordon Hill (-3) 2nd Ed Kloprogge (-6)

Where was everybody?  The sun was shining, the birds were singing and all was well with the world.  But, a mere fifteen of our members managed to make it to the course to sample the delights of a well manicured Ivanhoe that responded well to the efforts of those that made the effort.  The field was actually sixteen as ChrisV brought along his mate Stephen Kelly who is in the process of moving back to Melbourne from the bush and he seems to have been sufficiently impressed to have signed up to join our merry band.  So, a big welcome to Stephen and we look forward to seeing you on the tee again soon.

After the shock of seeing the C grade winner in the inside comp last week coming in with no less than 56 stableford points who’d have thought that one of our own put in a good effort at matching that result today.  Well, not quite, but Blighty kept the field in suspenders until he came in with the last group (well behind the penultimate group it might be noted) and casually asked what the best score was before going ‘snap’ and slapping down a card bearing the digits four and three and in that order as well.  A seven stroke break and the winners penalty have done wonders for his handicap.

The subject of Andrew’s ‘snap’ call was Harry, who possibly might have had a claim to be in some sort of form after five days of golf down the Mornington Peninsula though the courses down there do offer a rather different set of challenges from those at Ivanhoe.  For the longer handicappers, the scoring of a par on the first is seen to not augur well for the rest of the round.  To score a birdie must surely foretell absolute disaster.  But, despite the ill omen of snaring a birdie on the 1st, a very satisfying total of 39 points was the outcome at the end of the round.  The birdie count for the field was 11 all up which is not too bad for the smaller field and there were a few improvements to eclectic tallies.  There are a couple of members that are within a birdie or two distance of the leader but time is running short as the end of the year looms.

Bill did issue a warning when he returned from injury that he was feeling good and meant business.  After the front nine, that seemed to be almost beyond doubt but it was noticed that there were signs of leakage of Valvoline and a smoky exhaust on the back nine, or, as some unkindly put it, he pulled on the handbrake.  Whatever the reason, his 22 points on the front veritably slumped to a 15 on the back to take third spot with 37 overall.

Keeping up the theme of Seniors dominating the podium, Gordon came in with 36 to protect his handicap but to miss out on valuable Seniors points which is what needs to happen for him to be rolled in this event.  Then, eventually, one of the youngsters got a look in and Noodles captured the last point with his 34.  It has been quite a while since the podium has been occupied by only five players.

Despite the number of birdies reported, the accuracy off the tee was not that great when it counted and neither the Nearest the Pin for a ball or the ProPin got to be graced by a name. Rumour has it that ChrisV was actually on the 18th green but didn’t realise that it was the NTP and failed to claim the goody on offer.  So the ProPin will be a Jackpot to next week.  That should liven up a bit of interest before the November Monthly Medal the week after next.

Simon collected his new artillery from the ProShop this morning and proceeded to the first tee, post haste, to try the driver out.  A very fine job it did and continued to do so for most of the round.  Any aberrations could only be put down to the nut on the end of the shaft.  When Chrispy handed in his card he was asked how it went to which he replied that at least he had enjoyed the company.  The Beast claimed that his lesser performance on the back nine was down to the group in front stepping all over his line and causing his putts to miss going into the hole.  However, that didn’t seem to be affecting Chrispy who claimed to have sunk the greatest putt of his life on the 14th, a long curling one for his birdie.  Given where the hole was placed, anything less than a three putt was pretty good, so a singleton was something special.

Bob played well from tee to green but couldn’t buy a putt for love nor money.  Maybe it was down to nerves at the prospect of incoming missiles courtesy of Stefan who managed to run one between Chrispy’s legs from about 300m out.  Mehmet used the excuse that he was carrying an injury with his right knee supported by an elastic bandage.  He reckons he has done a deal for two titanium knees and another body part (that can’t be specified here) in the same material as a job lot.

Gordon’s good form over the last few weeks has continued and he is torn as to whether to put it down the the benefits of the gouty foot or to the fact that Lisa is away and he is batching.  He also espouses the health benefits of liquorice but Stephen was apparently going really well until Gordo handed out the medicinal herbs so he is less convinced of the claimed healthful effects.

The Birthday Birdie notes that Chrispy has a celebration coming up, tomorrow, no less, and Carolyn is taking him somewhere for a ‘special’ occasion.  Enjoy your day, Chris.

Only another month of competition for this Club year with the last points for the December Monthly Medal on 28th November.  This will also feature the Calcutta auction for the Vin O’Meara.  Then straight into the Vin O’Meara with a clean slate in all competitions in the lead up the the Champion of Champions and the break-up on 19 December.  Make sure to mark them all on your calendar so not to miss out on the fun and games.

Results for Saturday, 24 October 2015
1st Andrew Blight(43) 2nd Harry Boughen(39) 3rd Bill Eastoe(37) 4th Gordon Hill(36) 5th Stephen Butterfield(34)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Blight (43) 2nd Harry Boughen (39) 3rd Bill Eastoe (37)

With nine players within four points, this was a competition with plenty of potential for one of the back runners to come through the field with their second wind on the second round.  And there was plenty of potential for the leaders to falter having used up their puff and fall back through the field.  The conditions were pretty much ideal for the field of seventeen or so of our members who managed to drag themselves out of bed in time though there was apparently one sleepy type who kept his lift waiting for some time and then had to get dearly beloved out of the feathers to give him a lift to the course.  No names, but what can you expect from an exiled Kiwi.  The weather was cool and cloudy and there was still a bit of dew on the greens that made them a bit variable as the round progressed and when you are playing with a pink ball it can be a bit hard to see against the grey clouds.

But, that little handicap didn’t stop Chrispy (now known as the Real Priems) from galloping away to a good start and by the turn he seemed to be showing the field a clean pair of heels.  On the 11th, the line of his power fade brought the ball into the depths of the big pine tree and so the search was concentrated in the tree line and down the 2nd fairway but, wouldn’t you know it, the ball finished way down the 11th in a prime position for an approach shot to the green.  Typical Priemsy.  Then, as he put it, he started to leak a bit of oil and it wasn’t clear whether he needed sawdust or banana peels in the diff but, whatever the remedy, the leakage was staunched a little and the damage was only a -1 on the back nine for a result for the day of +4 to make a winning total of +6 to take out the trophy.  And it is one that he hasn’t hoisted so far in his career and he was pretty pleased to be able to do so at the presentations.

The next place-getter also managed to keep his head down though there were a couple of occasions when it looked as if he could easily bolt from the course.  He obviously came to the course today with the intention of taking the trophy as he had tattooed (only with texta) on the back of his hand words like ‘look’, ‘align’, ‘concentrate’.  Whatever, it seems to have worked and if not for a couple of aberrations, the total of +4 for the event could easily have been +6 or even better.  Well done Trevor maybe you should make that tattoo permanent.

Gordon got very touchy during the presentations when it appeared that his card must have been missed out of the calculations and after much checking of cards and to-ing and fro-ing it turned out to be still in his hip pocket.  Not surprising that he was agitated as he turned in with a pretty nice +3 today and overall to snaffle the third placing for the event.  On the way to that score he managed to slot three birdies out of a total of ten for the day so not a bad percentage for one bloke.  On the 10th, his putt for par had to all intents and purposes missed the hole with Gordon having a good whinge when it hit something on the green surface (pitchmark or gum-nut) and did a sharp right hander and fell into the hole.  As they say, it’s not how, just how many.

Fourth place on a square card on both days went to none other than Sleepy himself.  Then followed a swag of one point getters on -1 and the list included Taner, Noodles, the Beast, Mehmet and Blighty.  The beast managed a birdie on the second which might not seem all that surprising except that his third shot was from a position in which he could barely see the green let alone the pin but he popped it up, ran it over the mound by the green and down the hill into the hole.  Blighty started out at a blistering place and was four up after five holes but then , depending on your point of view, either faltered and only managed to finish +3 or, alternatively held it together well to only drop one point for the rest of the round.  Taner was noticed taking in the sights of a fair bit of the course but, despite the zig-zag path followed, still finished well enough.  Mehmet still doesn’t have a win.  But he is getting the shirts (and no, there isn’t an extra ‘r’ in there).

So, after the last of the double pointers for the competition year, there has been a bit of movement at the station and there are a few people who could catch Ryan provided that they strike while the iron is hot and especially while Ryan is away on leave.  Gordon still has a bit of a break in the seniors but there are a couple of contenders just a couple of wins behind (provided of course that Gordon is out of the points).  For those of you who don’t read your e-mails, the Eclectic is only updated on the second week of a major (just like the handicaps) and in that event, Pepsi still has a hold on it but the gap has narrowed slightly now that Noodles’ birdie on the 7th from last week has been accounted for.

The Nearest the Pin for a ball was on the 7th and there were a couple of names on the card and the most recent of those was Gordon.  The ProPin was on the 18th and there was only one name on that card and that name was Gordon.  So, all round, Gordon had a good day.

Simon was only just outside the points ranking and he is going to be lining up with some new artillery in the near future and he has great expectations that this will mark a turn around in his fortunes.  Speaking of clubs, Chrispy is using a putter that Pepsi sold to Snags and which Snags used to attack his bag or somesuch.  Chrispy reckons that the ding in the face of the putter makes him concentrate on hitting the ball flush.  He also talks wishfully of new clubs but Carolyn was off on a shopping crawl somewhere today so maybe the new clubs will be a bit further in the future.

The bar-be-que was well catered by Gordo with a good selection of meats, salads and dressings.  The chefing by SOS, Ed and Rob was done to perfection and everybody hoed in but, even so, there were still a few snags left at the end of the day.  Pepsi was there with Alexander but there was no sign of happy snaps of the new addition to the Petricola household.  Maybe next time.

The Birthday Birdie has whispered that Dick and David will be celebrating this week so all pubs be warned.

Results for Saturday, 17 October 2015
1st Chris Priems(+2, +4, +6) 2nd Trevor Jackson(+3, +1, +4) 3rd Gordon Hill(□, +3, +3) 4th Brendon Mitchell(□, □, □) 5th Taner Kemal(+1, -2, -1) 5th Mehmet Akdag(-3, +2, -1) 5th Bill Eastoe(-2, +1, -1) 5th Stephen Butterfield(-1, □, -1) 5th Andrew Blight(-4, +3, -1)

Seniors Results: 1st Trevor Jackson (+4) 2nd Gordon Hill (+3) 3rd Andrew Blight (-1)3rd Bill Eastoe (-1) 3rd Taner Kemal (-1)