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Two for the price of one on 4th April 2026

CJ and his Rodger
I knew I could win this in time.

What a difference a week makes! The moon was just past full, explaining the early Easter, and still shining brightly in the not quite blue sky when fifteen members gathered for a block-buster double-header. They were joined again by Gavin, who was looking for an early start so that he could get away to be disappointed at a Richmond game in the afternoon. After casting all sorts of nasturtiums about wet weather wimps in the Clubhouse, Michael stood on the first tee, and complained bitterly about the lack of light. He still managed to par the first despite his claims that he couldn’t even see the tee, let alone the fairway. Once again the greens were bedewed, but the litter was fairly sparse which was some consolation. Multitudes of pitch-marks had not been repaired, and it is sincerely hoped that our members are not the culprits. In fact, we should all make a commitment to repair at least one more than we make rather than complain about the careless types that precede us around the course. All in all, a very pleasant day for the (postponed) final round of the Stuart Clarke Memorial and the April Monthly Medal.

In the SCM, eleven of the original field were able to make it. Marc put himself back into the mix, which made CJ a bit nervous about the slightly narrow gap that he and Harry enjoyed over the rest of the field. With a head to head with Harry, and Marc in the same group, he would have slightly less to worry about what was going down with the groups in front. Harry started down the tree line on the first, and was faced with a ‘low’ shot to the green, which didn’t come off. A buggy and three trees later, double figures graced the card, and prospects of a medal evaporated in a trice. Fortunately, the SCM is Stableford, so all was not lost. Marc bought himself trouble with trees and out of bounds on three occasions before the 9th with the dreaded double figures playing havoc while his double stroke holes proved something of a saving grace. CJ struggled with the putting on the dewy greens, while a misadventure with the trees and OOB on the 8th did not help the scoring on the front nine.

As the back nine got under way, the rate of scoring by both Harry and Marc picked up. Harry’s chips started to find their range, and more of the putts dropped. Marc scored big where he had two strokes. On the 17th, CJ commented that Marc was in with a chance, and that he (CJ) had better watch out. Marc retorted that maybe Harry was the one to watch. Was it an innocent comment, or was it purposeful sledging by CJ? Whatever. Marc did not score on the last two holes, unfortunately. On the 18th CJ was short, Harry was left in the third cut short of the sand dump. CJ chipped up onto the pinned lower deck. Harry’s only option was across the top deck and down the slope to the pin. With a shot worthy of Seve (according the guru, Michael), the ball reached the slope with just enough pace to run down and come to a stop about a metre from the hole. With a putt across the slope, and the adage, allow for more slope than you think, in mind, he set the putt on its way. It broke, not quite enough, and finished just shy of the hole, robbing him of the point that would have created a tie for first place. In a count-back, Harry would have won his first Major. But, it was a worthy winner in CJ, who added the last of the Major scalps to his belt.

Do you like my shadow Easter Bunny?

What else happened today? Oh yes! There was a Monthly Medal to be decided. Because of the nature of the double-header event, there was a possibility that the result of the Medal could be affected by handicap adjustments resulting from the SCM. The simplest outcome would be for somebody not in contention (or even qualified) for the SCM to win. As it turned out, Brendon was able to fill that role with ease. After the front nine, that might not have looked so easy, as he had used up just over 60% on his handicap. However, he only needed one more stroke of his handicap to negotiate the back nine to go close to streeting the field with a net score of sixty-six. His closest contender was Raj, who seems to be coming back into form to slot into second place. Raj was also the biggest mover in the SCM. Ryan, the points machine, Porker continued his domination of the top of the Order of Merit, and, as one of the early qualifiers for the Vardon Trophy, he currently tops that. The minor placings stretched all the way to net seventy-five.

On the subject of Porks, the Nearest the Pin comps really should be renamed the RIP Benefit. The ProPin on the 15th went to Ryan with a recorded distance of 4.98m, but how much the tape was stretched to achieve that measurement was not revealed. He went even better on the 18th for the BallPin and the ProShop ProPin, with a shot to 0.78m, a much less contentious distance. The BallPin on the 4th went to Wazza for a shot that would have been completely ‘blind’ with the sun shining straight down the fairway as it struggled to get above the horizon.

In other news, Stan dropped in today to say g’day, and he is looking well. Doing a bit of chipping and putting, but he reckons it will be a couple of months yet, before he is in full swing again. Also, he hasn’t been near a ladder! Blighty was laying claim to the shot of the day, with his sand wedge into the hole on the 6th, for a birdie, which was one of eight for the day. However, Michael reckons it was shaded by Harry’s on the 18th. Craig, by dint of the two for one offer has reached his 300th game with the Club. The Birthday Birdie has a couple of visits to pay this week as our youngest member, Kody, and one of our oldest (though not very active) members, Rod Grant, celebrate another milestone in life.

Next week is the first round of this year’s Priems Cup, and, in typical Priems style, one of the Captains (to whit, CJ) has had other commitments foisted upon him, so he has nominated Pepsi to stand in his stead in the leader’s role. He will still select the team in conjunction with Prez. After the round, there will be a sumptuous barbecue Club lunch and the AGM of the Club. Let’s get a good roll up, and please register, so that the Priems boys have a proper selection, and not a lot of ‘late’ additions.

After next week, the Matchplay will get serious. If you are here with your opponent, you play. The round runs to 20 June, but time has a habit of getting away. So check your opponent, make contact, and organise a match. Don’t procrastinate.

Results for Saturday, 28 Mar 2026
1st Chris Priems (41, 31, 72) 2nd Harry Boughen (41, 30, 71) 3rd Andrew Blight (36, 33, 69) 4th Rajesh Mahto (32, 35, 67) 4th Andrew Petricola (37, 30, 67) 4th Marc Phillips (38, 29, 67) 5th Craig Cameron (36, 29, 65)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (41,31,72) 2nd Harry Boughen (41,30,71) 3rd Andrew Blight (36,33,69)

Results for Saturday, 04 Apr 2026
1st Brendon Mitchell (66) 2nd Rajesh Mahto (69) 3rd Ryan Porker (72) 4th Andrew Blight (73) 4th Andrew Petricola (73) 4th Chris Priems (73) 5th Craig Cameron (75) 5th Michael Gourlay (75) 5th Dan Marie (75)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Blight (73) 1st Chris Priems (73) 2nd Craig Cameron (75) 2nd Michael Gourlay (75) 3rd Harry Boughen (77)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Ryan Porker BallPin No 1 – 4th Warren Capes BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker

Four men went to mow… on 28th March 2026

Don't look up
Good grief!

When most people left home this morning, there was barely a drop of moisture in the sky. The closer they got to the green. green grass of ‘Hoe, the more intense the rain became. A glance at the radar image showed just why. There was a band of rain stretching from the heads, across the bay, and north right through Vasey Street and points north. Would there be a break by tee time was the big question? Tee time came and went, and still the rain came down, and the greens close to the Club house went further under water. Eventually, a decision needed to be made, and a vote, including Stuart’s Dad, Rodger, was taken, and it was agreed that official play would be abandoned, and the final round of the Stuart Clarke Memorial would be played in conjunction with the April Monthly Medal next Saturday.

So, next Saturday’s round will count twice. Once for those competing for the Stuart Clarke with their Stableford scores, and once for the entire field using their net Stroke scores for the Monthly Medal. The one, unresolved, question at the moment is dealing with the changes in handicap after the processing of the Stuart Clarke on the result of the ‘subsequent’ Monthly Medal. Further details will be advised later in the week.

As the majority headed back to the comforts of home, and the rain continued to fall, four hardy types headed to the first tee, determined to get their golf fix, come hell or high water (with particular emphasis on the latter). Quite philosophically they reckoned that the sun would probably be shining by the time they got to the third, and the 9th and 18th greens would be water free in two to four hours time. SteveG reckoned that he wouldn’t be able to get Chris to give him credit on his green fee, so he wanted to get his money’s worth. Wazza had strapped himself into wet weather gear that he had inherited, with gaffer tape, so that he couldn’t get out, so he might as well play. AndrewV didn’t want to get a rubbishing from his wife, as there was a fair chance that she would also play. And Raj, well, he is just Raj, though he probably didn’t want to waste the practice that he fitted during the week. There has been deathly silence, so far, on how their round actually went.

The course was fairly over-run with Club members on Tuesday. Harry was there for nine holes, which he declared, clearly, the worst he had managed in a dog’s age. The final straw was his cart doing a fairly spectacular back-flip on the hill up to the 9th as it headed to yet another ‘impossible’ lie under a tree. Fortunately for his sanity, another nine holes on Thursday produced a much more respectable result, that he had hoped to reproduce today. Hopefully, next week! Wazza was there working on his short game, particularly chipping, and, by the end of the session, he was pretty happy with how he was going. His lament was that he doesn’t have a chance to put in fifty practice shots to warm up before he starts a round. But, that is what the pro’s do.

Results for Saturday, 28 Mar 2026
Leaderboard Round 1: 1st Harry Boughen (41) 1st Chris Priems (41) 2nd Marc Phillips (38) 3rd Andrew Petricola (37) 4th Andrew Blight (36) 4th Craig Cameron (36) 5th Nalin Samaranayake (34)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Harry Boughen (41) 1st Chris Priems (41) 2nd Andrew Blight (36) 2nd Craig Cameron (36) 3rd Steven Gervasoni (31)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – No Competition BallPin No 1 – No Competition BallPin No 2 – No Competition

Zingers were on the menu on 21st March 2026.

Buddies - for now!
Now, if I just squeeze a bit tighter…..

The sky was a bit gloomy first thing, and there was a certain amount of discussion about what constituted ‘first light’. A suggestion of something, fractionally more than a mist, had some reaching for their umbrella, producing hoots of derision from some of the hardier types among the 15 members who turned out for the first round of Stuart’s Memorial. Kody was here as well, back from his family visit in Sydney, to put in his second card on his way to acquiring a handicap. The greens were rated as slow, as it appeared that they had not been mowed for a couple of days, and there was a good amount of ‘dew’ on the grass, undoubtedly due to watering overnight. It took until half-way through the back before it could be said that the moisture had burnt off, and the sun made something of an appearance. Almost to a man the scoring was judged to be lower than what was possible, due to the number of putts that were left short of the mark.

CJ burst out of the blocks, and, by the end of the fifth he had twelve points on the board. There were thoughts that he might have done a big end, and was leaking oil badly over the next three holes. A handful of sawdust seems to have done the job, and there was nary a hint of smoke in the exhaust for the rest of the round. The smoke was coming off the course as he fairly burnt it up to add three more birdies to his one from the front, on his way to two under the card and 24 points for the last nine holes. And, he reckons he still left a few out there, and puts his change in fortune down to a change to an overlap grip. His four birdies helped us to a total of eleven for the day and seems to have inspired him to consider Chicken Zinger for Dinner. Harry was pretty pleased with his front nine which was spot on to his handicap at eighteen points thanks to the single par offsetting the double on the first. The back got away to a good start with pars on five of the first six holes, thanks, largely, to both chipping and putting finding their range. Having pipped CJ by one point on the front, he gave up one to him on the back, and they finished equal on the day at forty-one points. Game on!

Marc, on the other hand, absolutely blitzed the front nine, and turned with 24 points that included a ‘no-score’ on the second. No less than six three pointers and a four in that lot! The praise from his co-players at the turn seems to have gone to his head, and the back was not quite so heady, but thirty-eight is a good score, in anybody’s books. Pepsi seems to be still smarting from the effects of one of his rounds down at Moonah. However, he gave himself a good talking too, and slowed his (back?)swing right down. It seems to have paid off, as he was bragging that he was able to beat Porks off the stick, and he was very pleased with his tally of thirty-seven. Blighty was very non-committal about his handicap matching total with nothing much to report other than a rotten shot into the trees behind the penalty area that he cleared by going through some greenery to finish the hole with a par. Craig also matched his handicap, but had nothing to report other than a couple of birdies on the back nine.

Nalin rounded out the non-point getters for today, and, it is possible that his score was affected by the fact that he was heavily involved in his match against SOS. They have been itching to get the game done and dusted for the last few weeks. So keen that they even asked what the result might have been the last couple of times that they had been on the track together. The phantom matches actually sat at one apiece before the real result today. It actually turned out to be fairly gripping, according to reports, if a little scrappy at times. SOS got his nose in front early doors, but he soon conceded the score-line back to square, and it remained at only a slight advantage to Nalin until the 11th when SOS eventually conceded two down. But, it is not over until the fat lady sings, and the match drew square on the 17th, despite Nalin getting back out to two up. So, it was down to the last hole to decide the match. Would it be all square and a chip-off? No. Nalin sank a longish putt on the 18th for par, while the best SOS could was a bogie, handing the match to Nalin, 1 up.

The ProPin was on the 4th, and, despite a sore back that gave him trouble all round, SteveG was able to put his name on the card. Unfortunately, CJ (call the fire brigade) was able to slot one to 2.73m to collect the fifteen on offer that will help pay for the Zinger. A BallPin on the 12th also saw a bit of a contest, and SOS was more than happy to cross out Pepsi’s name to collect the ball. The pickings were slim for Porks today as CJ knocked him off for the BallPin on the 18th, and he took the money to help pay for that Zinger Dinner.

Porks fronted up with his new set of irons today. Only used for a few shots on the driving range according to reports. Apparently they are some new style of club with smaller, lighter heads and heavier steel shafts. Everyone was keen to hear how they went. The scores were not the best we have seen from the not quite permanent resident at the top of the Order of Merit, but, not necessarily an embarrassment either. He did own to pulling one OOB on the 8th as perhaps the real low-light of the day. JQ was being lauded last week for the precision of his putting as the self-proclaimed ‘best putter in the Club’. Not sure why, but today he was claiming that he putted like an ‘a**e’. Swings and roundabouts come to mind. Haven’t heard from Stan for a while, but some members were concerned when this little dodger appeared in their letter-box. We’re pretty sure that this is not our Stan the Man, but, in some ways, we wouldn’t put it past him!

It is a tradition in the Club that, on the final round of the Stuart Clarke Memorial, members wear a suitably loud Hawaiian shirt as a nod to the sartorial choice that Stuart was noted for. Savers et al in the Op Shop business are a potential source if you don’t happen to have one lurking in the back of the wardrobe. We normally have a Club barbecue on the day as well, however, this year, for a number of reasons, that has been postponed until 11th April, which also happens to be the Priems Cup round and the Club AGM. Regardless, please come along so that we can get a good roll-call of members for Stuart.

Results for Saturday, 21 Mar 2026
Leaderboard Round 1: 1st Harry Boughen (41) 1st Chris Priems (41) 2nd Marc Phillips (38) 3rd Andrew Petricola (37) 4th Andrew Blight (36) 4th Craig Cameron (36) 5th Nalin Samaranayake (34)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Harry Boughen (41) 1st Chris Priems (41) 2nd Andrew Blight (36) 2nd Craig Cameron (36) 3rd Steven Gervasoni (31)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Chris Priems BallPin No 1 – 12th Stephen O’Sullivan BallPin No 2 – 18th Chris Priems

Wazza you think of that on 14th March 2026.

How sweet it is!
That wazza round I’ve been waiting for.

Things got a bit shirty today. No, there weren’t fisticuffs, or anything like that. It was just that Prez turned up with the first order of the new club polos. There was a certain amount of bragging about being the only one to order a 3XL or something, though whether that is something to brag about is very much open to debate. A few members repaired to the facilities to do a try on, and several even ventured out to see if it would make a difference to their game with some new clobber. Speaking of new clobber, JQ was resplendent in some shiny new white shoes. Something about needing extra grip. Grip of Tarzan’s tube, perhaps? The sudden turn of chill in the morning air produced a certain amount of shivering, and induced the wearing of ‘winter’ gloves, but, as usual, there were the hardy types out in their summer gear. Fortunately, it warmed up reasonably quickly, and the dew on the greens burnt off. No racial or religious slur intended.

It was hinted during the week that Wazza had played out of his skin down at the Punter’s Club weekend, and he fronted today faced with his new handicap which took a beating thanks to his 43 point round on Saturday. Apparently, he cursed the handicapper for the entire round. CJ didn’t venture out in his new 3XL clobber, so it must have been something else that lit the fire in his afterburner. He started out with a par, followed up with a bogey, and then stumbled a bit to get singletons on the next two holes. Bt the turn there were five pars on the card and 21 points safely stashed away. He only managed four pars on the back, but avoided the singletons altogether for a one over the card total and another 22 points. More than enough to take out the honours for the day, and matching Wazza’s efforts a fortnight ago.

Raj did venture out in his new clobber, but the first few holes proved to be a bit of a struggle. Things improved, but they really took a turn for the better at the 8th. The drive headed for the trees on the left clipped the top of the first, and, somehow, missed the rest to finish reasonably placed on the left of the fairway. He then smacked one to around a metre from the hole and rolled it in for a birdie. Four points. Just about ditto on the 9th, and another four pointer. Six pars in a row had him heading for some sort of record score. The 16th went terribly wrong, and there were mutterings about ‘Eddy’, but another birdie on the 17th put paid to that thought. But, it did rob him of a potential winning score, and second place was his lot. His three birdies did a fair bit to help us to a total of eight for the day.

JQ was in one of the early groups, and was feeling pretty smug about his score with visions of peak points dancing in his head. His start wasn’t too flash, as he had racked up thirteen strokes after two holes. But, apparently, his putter was unbeatable today, and his playing companions agreed with his self-assessment that he was the best putter in the Club. However, his thirty-eight points was not even good enough to win a ball, and only worth three points at that. Brent struggled a bit on the front nine, and was a bit disappointed to turn with only 14 points on the card. The back nine was a completely different story, and his twenty-three points was due to a bottom line of one under the card, that was helped by a brilliant 54 wedge that never looked like missing the hole according to a witness. Nalin didn’t see the shot, as he was busy looking for his own ball, which was playing hard to get. The Eagle’s Nest had been cleaned out last week, and, luckily, the half ball a week increase is rounded up. Porks and SOS were happy to score a point as joint fifth place holders. SOS did get pretty cranky with himself, and was heard to blaspheme rather strongly after two shanks and a duff coming up the 6th. His fifth shot, was none of those as it flighted perfectly and finished in the hole for par.

Brendon thought that he had a good chance of winning something today, as he managed to get his name on each and every NTP card. Unfortunately, he was disappointed on all counts. On the 4th, where the prize was a ball, he was taken out, first, by JQ, and later, by Wazza. A bit of a highlight for the young fellah. On the 15th, for the money, Porks shot to 1.97m proved to be the winning shot, but not close enough for a birdie. On the 18th, our triumphant CJ was the man of the moment and collected the prize there. There were moves aplenty on the Order of Merit, some of larger ones representing the combined effect of the interposing of the Punter’s Club results and today’s outcome.

CJ reckons his victory today was even more impressive because he was playing with an ‘injury’. Actually, it was the aftermath of a skin cancer surgery, done yesterday, and against the surgeon’s advice not to play for a week or so. Prez claims that Chris owes him a lot for his high scoring because of the number of times that he had to putt first and gave CJ a line for the putt. Harry’s driver let him down a bit today, particularly on the 15th where he was lucky that the rough on the left spat his ball back into play. He was unlucky in that it was well short of the red markers. The first time in yonks that he has had a draughtie. Shot of the Round probably should go to Brent for his eagle on the 17th. Raj’s efforts on the 8th and 9th would be right up there, but he probably gets the runner-up for his second on the 11th. Standing behind and up against a tree with little follow through, he put it onto the green having skirted the penalty area, and barely missed the putt for yet another potential birdie.

Next week is the first round of a Major event, the Stuart Clarke Memorial. There is usually a very good roll-up for this prestigious event, so get yourselves down to the website and register. We usually have a barbecue lunch after the final round of Major events. However, circumstances have necessitated rescheduling the AGM to the 11th April, and the Committee decided that the Club lunch would also be postponed to that date. This just happens to be the first round of the Priems Cup for this year.

Results for Saturday, 14 Mar 2026
1st Chris Priems (43) 2nd Rajesh Mahto (41) 3rd John Quinlan (38) 4th Brent Rowley (37) 5th Ryan Porker (35) 5th Stephen O’Sullivan (35)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (43) 2nd Gordon Hill (30) 2nd Robert Priems (30) 3rd Harry Boughen (27)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Ryan Porker BallPin No 1 – 4th Warren Capes BallPin No 2 – 18th Chris Priems

Eagle’s Nest Results: Eagle – 17th Brent Rowley