Yearly Archives: 2026

The Indian Summer has persisted into May, but the portents are not so hot from hereon in. In fact, they promise to be rather fresh and damp for the first round of the David Ford Autumn Cup, which has something of a reputation for being just so. The course is, understandably, a bit dry, and there was some run to be had unless you ventured into the less closely mown parts of the course. In a few cases, balls were remarkably difficult to spot, even at close range. We had sixteen members on deck, and we were joined once again by Gavin, and he chipped in for the NTP which meant there was an extra dollar to the lucky ducky who takes out the ProPin pool on offer. The greens copped the usual flak for being too fast, too slow, too pock-marked, etc, etc. However, that did not prevent some exceptional scores being offered to the judges for consideration.

Andrew, (he doesn’t really like being called Blighty, though he does tolerate it), might have given up the ghost early on when he tabled a quadruple bogey on the 4th hole. Despite this, he did manage to finish the front nine using just a smidgen over half of his handicap, that he very graciously described as overly generous. He then took his foot off the brake and skittled the back to finish with a net score of sixty-four, the best for the day, and definite medal material. JQ was a little disappointed that there was no banner to run through to mark his four hundredth game with the Club. He freely admits that it should be quite a lot more if it hadn’t been for skiving off to London for about ten years. In handicap terms, he was ahead of Blighty at the turn, and was making a blitz of the home straight with consecutive birdies on the 16th and 17th. A double on the 18th could easily have cost him a chance at the medal in a countback. His pair of birdies helped us to make seven for the day.

Steve reckons his driver was working today, but his fairway clubs were not. They can’t have been too far off the mark, as he went very close to playing to the handicap that he complained so bitterly about last week. Speaking of handicap complaints, Craig was overheard having a word about his recent adjustment. He still managed to score fourth place, just two outside the mark, after a three point cut. Dan is keeping up with the field in recent times, despite having to dash off for duties unspecified. Kody lined up for his first official event today, and there were some suggestions that people should watch him take the prize. It didn’t work out that way, but he did get a point to open his account. Marc also fronted the judges for a point as well.

The big interest of the day was the Triple Jackpot starting the pool for the ProPin on the 15th. Would it go off, or would we get to Quadruple Jackpot. Wazza has announced that he is decamping to Ocean Grove, and will only grace the fairways of Ivanhoe one more time after this. His penultimate game was not going all that well as he used a fair swatch of his handicap on the front nine, and the back nine was following in a similar vein. That is until he cracked one straight at the pin on the 15th, and finished something like 2.635m from the pin to collect a substantial wad of cash, which should help pay off the new digs down the coast. On the 4th, where there was a BallPin, and Dan, very helpfully announced to Steve that he had put his name on the card. When Steve got to the green, he found that he was not actually on the green, and so had to scratch his own name off. Which left the field wide open for Porks to add his. Brendon managed to sneak onto the front of the green on the 18th, and he was a bit concerned that the ProShop card and tape had not been put out. He needn’t have worried either way, because Porks did it again to add to his ever-growing collection of pills.

Speaking of Brendon, he made a bit of a ‘power’ draw shot from the second tee, it caught one of the trees and was judged to have dropped to the ground. As the search was about to be abandoned, a call came from over by the 11th tee that his ball was over there. It is a complete mystery how the ball could possibly have cleared the intervening row of trees. There were a couple of draughties today. Bob had one that he reckoned was very much line-ball, and Nalin succeeded in having to shout from the 17th tee. Apparently he managed several shanks today, including one from the 4th that was judged to be finishing on a fairway across the river, if it had not been for an intervening tree. There are a group of kookaburras that seem to find the 16th fairway particularly attractive, and they spend a fair bit of time foraging there. One was spotted pursuing Kody’s ball along the ground until it was judged not to be edible, and the chase was abandoned. Porks managed to ‘duff’ his drive from the first, to finish just at the bottom of the hill. In response to some lip from CJ, Ryan said, I can par this from here. Which he did even though it needed a 6m putt to do so.

Big event starting next week. Two rounds of everybody’s favourite competition, Par, to compete for the David Ford Autumn Cup.

Results for Saturday, 02 May 2026
1st Andrew Blight (64) 2nd John Quinlan (66) 3rd Steven Gervasoni (67) 4th Craig Cameron (70) 4th Dan Marie (70) 5th Marc Phillips (74) 5th Kody Warrington (74)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Blight (64) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (67) 3rd Craig Cameron (70)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Warren Capes BallPin No 1 – 4th Ryan Porker BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker

The last notes of the Last Post and Reveille from the Dawn Service had barely faded into the distance when twelve intrepid members ‘went over the top’ to do battle in the trenches at Ivanhoe. The air was a little cool after a cloudless night, but the prospect of a breeze from the north promised a day that would warm up more than a little. The greens were not dressed, so there was a modicum of litter, and the lingering dew to contend with. There was a small consolation with the latter as it was possible to get a bit of a ‘read’ from the tracks left behind. That ‘advantage’ faded as the morning progressed, and, part way through the back nine, there were only your own eyes to go on.

Steve started out bemoaning the fact that his handicap had taken a fairly savage cut after breaking it by six strokes last week. One has to wonder whether we will hear similar complaints from Old Reliable after he went out and smashed his by five of the best today. Just four over the card on the front, and two over the card on the back was all that it needed, and that included only one birdie and not a single double. The birdie, one of eight that we scored for the day was on the 12th after his tee shot finished close enough to the pin to win him the BallPin that was contested there. As a result of his win today, Craig was a recipient of a Rocket on the Order of Merit. SOS managed to score seven pluses on his card, all as singletons, but he did offset those with half a dozen minuses. Still a positive result has all he needed to come in with second place. He didn’t have to call on his ‘generosity’ to award himself a ball in the BallRun.

The two pointers were a bit thin on the ground today, but we did manage to put four of them on the board. Steve did have a bit of a chance on the 16th after two great shots put him within hopeful distance. Unfortunately, the elusive double just eluded him. However, such was not the case with JQ, who made good use of a couple of his strokes by knocking in birdies on the 13th (good effort there) and the 18th for doubles which squared his card and scored him third place in the field. This was also good enough to score him a Rocket in the OOM. In addition to that, today was his 399th game with the Club, so the next one will be four double nothing. Harry only managed a single plus on the front, but pulled four out of the bag on the back to make the card look rather more respectable in 4th place. Andrew continues his regular appearance in the lists, filling fifth place.

The ProPin was a Double Jackpot on the 15th. Nalin, for one, was right on line for the pin, but he pulled up few too many metres short of the target, which was tucked into the back right corner of the green. It would have been possible to have been within the circle, but not on the dance floor. Needless to say, nobody hit the magic spot, and there will be a Triple Jackpot to start the pool next week. That should bring the lean and hungry ones out! The BallPin on the 18th was pretty much a no-contest after JQ, in the first group, landed it closer than anybody else from the elevated tee.

Raj was another one who scored a birdie. His was on the first, and his playing ‘companions’ opined that the only way from there was down-hill. And it was! Numerous ‘shanks’ played havoc with his scoring, and the bottom line for the front was only saved by the other pair of doubles for the day thanks to another birdie on the 7th. CJ set off fearing for the continuity of his jugular if he did not finish in time to make it to a lunch-time ‘appointment’. There were quite a few words said over the next few holes after a good drive down the centre on the 9th. A person of certain ethnic appearance crossed the fairway, to which scant attention was paid, but, when the ‘known’ ball location was reached, it was nowhere to be found. The venting was expressed in no uncertain terms.

Dan has been having lessons, and his coach was advising him on some changes to produce a draw shot. From the 15th, he managed to produce something more akin to a hook, and it was deemed appropriate to play a provisional, which did not quite reach the red markers. He found the original ball, so does the draughtie count or not. In any case, alcohol was not available until the 1330 mandate. One other topic for discussion was the scattering of confetti on the 14th tee. Speculation ranged from a golf tragic wedding to exploding golf balls to attempts to interrupt a backswing. The mystery remains, but the scatter pattern suggests a directed ‘explosive’ event. As his drive on the 16th whistled down the fairway, Steve was heard muttering ‘over the hill, over the hill’. Was he referring to the ball or to himself? Definitely the ball, as he already is (according to Steve)! A big flutter from the Birthday Birdie to Porks and Whitey during the coming week.

Results for Saturday, 25 Apr 2026
1st Craig Cameron (+5) 2nd Stephen O’Sullivan (+1) 3rd John Quinlan (□) 4th Harry Boughen (-1) 5th Andrew Vogan (-2)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (+5) 2nd Harry Boughen (-1) 3rd Andrew Vogan (-2)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 12th Craig Cameron BallPin No 2 – 18th John Quinlan

There have been a few little showers of rain during the week, but there were none in the offing today, though, with Melbourne, who can tell! What with a bit of rain, a bit of watering and, maybe, an application or two of wetting agent, the greens and surrounds were a little soft in places. This meant that attacking types could attack the pin and expect a good result, although it could result in the ball not leaving its pitch mark or, at least, barely get out of it. Off the green there were cases of the ball plugging beyond the equator, and some even suggested that preferred lies should have been invoked. Despite this, the fifteen competing members still managed to score pretty impressively for the most part. The field was bolstered by Kody, submitting his final Club handicap card, by Ash who came along courtesy of his mate Dan, and Martin, an escapee from Burnley who was after an earlier tee time. Ash is planning to join us in the near future when he can get away from some prior (hospital) commitments over the next few weeks.

SteveG has been oscillating between giving up the game entirely, and putting in an effort. Today, he put in the effort, and it paid off big time. He barely put a foot wrong on the front nine (other than a fat lady on the 6th), and made it to the turn with twenty-two points on board. The back nine was gash free, but it was also four-point free, so he could only manage another twenty points to bring home the bacon with his total of forty-two. Bob started off his round with a cracking drive down the first, and pretty well kept up the momentum from there. The front nine result was six three pointers and three two pointers which put Steve’s front nine score back in the shade. The good form must have gone to the old fellah’s head, as he could only manage another fifteen on the back to squeeze himself into second place with a thirty-nine total.

Nipping at Bob’s heels all day was Ryan. Not only in the daily competition, but also in the match that they played as well. Ryan completed the round by putting together two one over the card nines which scored him thirty-eight points. In the match, he had to give twenty-six strokes to Bob, which made for some interesting scenarios. Needless to say, Bob’s stellar front nine proved to be a big advantage, and, by the turn, he held the lead three up. As already reported, Bob’s back nine was not nearly so speccy, so, surely, Ryan was in with a chance? Ryan gets a par, Bob gets a double bogey, but he has two strokes, hole squared. Ryan gets a birdie, Bob gets a bogey, but he has two strokes, hole squared. Ryan gets a par, Bob gets a bogey, he only has one stroke, hole squared. Get the picture? Every hole squared until the 15th where the match goes dormie 3. Ryan has to win everything from there on to force a chip off after 18. Par versus double with two strokes squares the hole, and it is all over with Bob taking the match 3 and 2.

Harry struggled a bit on the front nine, although he did manage to salvage a couple of holes after less than optimal beginnings. Things took a turn for the better on the back, helped along by a four point birdie on the 15th where a long curving putt drained into the hole like it was meant to go there. That one pushed our total of birdies for the day to ten. Ash also scored a birdie on the 4th, although it was mighty close to a hole-in one as the ball brushed by the pin, and finished millimetres from the hole. Dan also scored a four point birdie on the fifth, but Pepsi had to make do with nothing better than a three-pointer to get his thirty-six points.

The first BallPin was on the 7th, and Brendon was able to get his shot closer than Steve’s ‘cut-lunch’ attempt. Speaking of cut lunches, Porks won the NTP on the 18th with a shot to about 20m. There were lots of hard luck stories about balls being much closer but just off the dance-floor. Sad, but a target is a target. The ProPin on the 15th was a Jackpot today, and, once again, the magic distance from the hole eluded everybody once again. Pretty sure Brendon was telling porkies when he suggested that he was 5.01m away. So, Double Jackpot next week.

Kody got a fairly vicious hook going on the 16th, and it was suggested that his ball finished either in the Yarra or even on the Freeway. SOS was helping look for a ball on the 14th when he was alerted by an urgent call from one of the others in his group. His buggy was trundling along happily and was heading for the penalty area. Fortunately, it got caught up in the shrubbery and did not get wet. Prez was in good form today, pulling off numerous ‘Priems rescue’ shots off the bordering trees. Bob got himself a birdie on the second, of the ibis variety. Apparently it took a good whack and did a few three-sixties on the ground before shaking its head and flying off muttering WTF was that! SteveG was pretty pleased when he sank an 8m putt on the first for his par. He was less than chuffed when he missed one from about 300mm on the second. Raj was a bit disappointed that he managed to pull off several ‘shanks’ today, but he says, Watch out, when I get this sorted. Ash, apparently, has a very smooth and relaxed style, so much so that it is being proposed that he should be given the nickname of Little Easy, as he doesn’t really qualify for ‘Big’ Easy. Besides, that is already taken.

Results for Saturday, 18 Apr 2026
1st Steven Gervasoni (42) 2nd Bob McDonald (39) 3rd Ryan Porker (38) 4th Harry Boughen (37) 5th Dan Marie (36) 5th Andrew Petricola (36)

Seniors Results: 1st Steven Gervasoni (42) 2nd Bob McDonald (39) 3rd Harry Boughen (37)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 7th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker

“Call me Ishmael. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—…” there were two Captains. No, one wasn’t called Ahab, in search of a great white whale. They were both called Priems, in search of a great silver cup. However, today, we had to be satisfied with just one Real Priems and one Unreal Priems (to whit, Pepsi, who was standing in for CJ, who was unable to extricate himself from the thumb that he was under). The morning started out cool, though it felt colder, and it only felt worse as the wind picked up as the morning progressed. By the 10th, the cloud had thickened, and Ken started to mutter about getting his wet weather gear out. His prognostication was just a little off the mark, as the first drops only appeared as the AGM was winding up and the barbecue was being cleaned down after the lunch. The equipment yard/lunch venue has a wide selection of poultices and potions stored in IBCs, drums and bags, which might help to explain the improving look of the fairways and greens under the care of the new greenkeeper. Though the fact that you almost could take relief from casual water on the 15th tee was a bit of a downer when there was a fair chance that there were better tee spots available. A turnout of sixteen members was a good result, and we look forward to a bigger and better crowd for the second round of the PC later in the year.

The members of the two teams were evenly distributed through the field so that the last cards to come in could be just as important to the result as the first. Despite this, the Unreal Priems started to call the result with barely half of the votes counted. As it turned out, the last four cards were pretty much evenly split between the two teams on a points basis, and so, made little difference to the result, and the early call that TeamCJ (under the captaincy of the Unreal Priems), had taken the day turned out to be accurate. A couple of scoring errors (changed indices/missed two stroke allowances) meant that the margin increased slightly, from the announced result (237 to 215) to an actual TeamCJ (239) defeated TeamRob (215). Rob will have to do some serious coaching in the meantime in preparation for Round 2 with a fair bit of ground to catch up.

Brendon completed the first nine holes just three strokes over the card. The second nine looked to be going just as well, if not even better. Did the handbrake come on? From one under the card after six to five over after nine? Should the Club Captain be looking into this? Despite the ‘collapse’, a card with 35 points to the good was enough to take the day, and to wrestle himself clear of the log-jam at the top of the Order of Merit. Craig made five single pointers on his way to second place just the one point off the pace which suggests there were plenty of opportunities that might have gone begging. However, Marc had one more singleton and a miss on his way to match Craig’s score suggesting that, he too, could easily have been rather higher placed than he was.

SteveG had as many gashes as Craig had singletons, but he compensated with a swag of four pointers and three pointers to finish just a point further back. One of the four pointers was for a birdie on the 12th, which was the first BallPin. His tee shot finished a mere 300mm from the hole, and the birdie was one of seven for the day. The only other contender for the ball on the 12th was JQ, who just about needed a cut lunch, his ball was so far from the hole. Blighty managed to sneak up into 4th place, that he shared with Matt on thirty-two points. Matt made it to that level of scoring because of an eagle on the 14th. Now, versions of how this was achieved are many and varied, ranging from, he duffed it off the tee and hit it 200m, to, he drove to 40m and pitched it in from there. In his own words, 50degree wedge, lofted onto the green two hops and spun back into the hole. Believe that, if you like! Pepsi collected the last point for the day.

Matt and AndrewV wanted to get their match done and dusted and opted to play today. With eight strokes in his pocket, Andrew got off to a good start and zipped away to be three up after seven holes. Maybe the lead went to his head, but the form abandoned him for a while and, by the 11th, the match was back to all square. Matt kept the pressure up, and he was two up after fifteen. Andrew ‘wasted’ one of his shots on the 16th by winning it outright and just needed to repeat the performance on the 17th to be square on the 18th. Did the pressure tell? Three chips to get onto the green tolled the death knell, and Matt took the match 2 and 1. Don’t forget, matchplay is now compulsory. There is some time between now and 20 June, but don’t dawdle. Time has a habit of getting away.

The ProPin today was on the 15th and nobody made the winner’s circle, and the sixteen will start the pool for next week. The BallPIn on the 18th went to AndrewV with a shot to 16.5m. It will be interesting to see if that holds for the ProShop comp.

Rob played a shot from the 17th tee that was heading for a swim in the Yarra, Typical Priems, it hit a tree and came back into play. Poetic justice, or not? He sprayed the next on into the penalty area, so it got wet any way. Raj took the trophy for the shanks today, which prevented him from scoring better. One of his shanks was from the 12th tee into the penalty area. He played a provisional, but did find his first ball, and decided to play it from where it lay rather than take the penalty. He blasted it out, and the ball finished on the green almost within gimme distance. Sank the putt for an ‘easy’ par. Ken had some problems with trees today, particularly on the 3rd, although they did keep him in play, if not in scoring. His hard luck story however was on the 8th, where he left a putt a few centimetres short. The ‘little’ tap-in was a little firm, a little off line, made a little contact with the pin, made a little contact with the lip of the cup and made a little spin out of the hole. The Birthday Birdie has a little fluttering to do this week with a visit to SOS, who will undoubtedly be out partying during the week though, maybe, he partied enough in Cambodia.

Results for Saturday, 11 Apr 2026
1st Brendon Mitchell (35) 2nd Craig Cameron (34) 2nd Marc Phillips (34) 3rd Steven Gervasoni (33) 4th Andrew Blight (32) 4th Matt Hunt (32) 5th Andrew Petricola (31)

Priems Cup Results: TeamChris {Andrew Petricola (31), Matt Hunt (32), Ryan Porker (27), Marc Phillips (34), Harry Boughen (30), Bob McDonald (19), Craig Cameron (34), Andrew Blight (32)} 239 def TeamRob {Robert Priems (25), Rajesh Mahto (30), Andrew Vogan (27), Brendon Mitchell (35), Gordon Hill (18), Ken Watson (17), Steven Gervasoni (33), John Quinlan (30)} 215

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (34) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (33) 3rd Andrew Blight (32) 3rd Matt Hunt (32)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 12th Steven Gervasoni BallPin No 2 – 18th Andrew Vogan

Eagle’s Nest Results: Eagle – 14th Matt Hunt