Yearly Archives: 2016

Despite what some members think, we have not been playing stroke competition for five weeks in a row.  We’ve only had three rounds in five weeks and next week will make four in six unless, of course you also count the Champion of Champions but that is not a points round so it doesn’t really count.  What really does count is that there were 24 enthusiastic jockeys out there today, whipping the living daylights out of their respective steeds in the Vin O’Meara Stakes.  And a fat lot of good the whipping did some of them.  Some of them probably even backed up in the shafts if the scores are anything to go by.  The tees were on the black blocks for the inside Monthly Medal and start of their stroke play championship and some of the pin placements were a bit on the tricky side again.  Pepsi claimed that in 25 years he hadn’t seen the some of the pin placements that were on the go today.  The course was in good nick again and was pretty thoroughly mowed all over so there were really very few excuses for not getting out there and scoring your heart out.

And, despite the earlier suggestion of less than optimal scoring there were a few who were able to hold their game together and table scores that were pretty respectable to say the least.  The first jockey to step up to the scales for weigh-in was CraigC who started off going gang-busters to be a couple under the card two thirds of the way into the first nine.  Then fears of the wrath of the handicapper took over and he settled down, some unkind types would say he was playing choke rather than stroke, to come in with a nett score of 65 from his 75 off the stick.  Just a couple of strokes further back and seriously ruing a couple of triples and a quadruple was Harry who, on the advice of the owner, will be relaxing with hypnosis, yoga, acupuncture with maybe a smidge of practice thrown in during the week.

Now, will you look at who is coming in next.  None other than Bob, who complained vehemently about how badly he was playing but, at the end of the day, his 26 handicap brought him in with a nett score of 69 and easily within striking distance of the trophy if he can repeat the performance next week.  There are a few people biding their time a few strokes back on 72 and they are by no means out of consideration given the talent involved and their past history on the trophy winning front.  Brendon reckoned last week that he hadn’t scored a point for seven weeks so there is a good chance that could change very shortly.  Chrispy reckons that he is just getting the feel for the distance with his new clubs and he is thinking of asking Callaway for a commission for all the sets that have been bought on his recommendation.  And Joe really wants to get his name into the Hall of Fame but he was spotted giving the ball a bit of a ‘chunk’ at one stage of the round.  His putt on the 18th deflected off Simon’s ball marker and finished in the hole for the birdie so if Joe wins perhaps Simon should get a cut.

Blighty has been on again, off again like a motion sensitive flood light and he hopes to be in the game again next week.  Gordon had some problems keeping the ball on the green today and he reckons that somebody must have stolen the ball magnets that he usually puts in place to keep his on the green.  Dale was also a bit doubtful about his ability to compete both days but, with something of a chance to take up the slack, he is making a concerted effort to be here again next week.  If you want to see how the rest went have a look at the leaderboard under the Competitions Menu.

The Eclectic Table was notable today for the fact that everybody ‘improved’ though it was the first round of the new year.  The early birdies are always welcome but the more you get, the harder it is to improve as the year progresses.  But, better sooner than never!

This was also the second week of the Stroke Play Championship and the progress results are also on the website under the Competitions Menu.  Although Pepsi had a bit of trouble finding the hole he did manage to get one of the 15 birdies scored today.  That was on the 17th where he carefully layed up his drive to the front slope of the 18th green.  From a downhill/sidehill lie he put it 3 or 4 metres past the hole and proceeded to rattle in the putt for the only birdie on his card for the day.  That helped him to maintain his lead in the Gross Score half of the event with Michael slipping a bit further behind today in second place.  On the Nett Score side of the Table, Harry has a handy lead by dint of his two good rounds thus far and Pepsi heads up a fair pack of players in second and later places.

The ProPin today was on the 12th and Michael, with the highlight shot of his round (according to him) managed to squeeze out Harry by nearly a couple of metres at 2.58m from the pin.  Not to be out-done for the BallPin on the 15th Michael managed to out-do Pepsi and added to his growing collection of balls.  At least Pepsi was able to get something out of today’s round through a double of draughties by Bob and Harry on the 3rd.  Harry tried to argue that as it was a Provisional ball it didn’t count but when the Provisional became the ball-in-play he had to resign himself to his fate.  Trevor also had to make a shout when he ‘skied’ his tee shot from the 18th so high that it hit the tree branch above and finished so close that his playing partners feared for their well-being.  The ‘official’ measurement was that the ball finished 6m from where it started.

Speaking of shouting, it was noticeable today that there were instances of people shouting ‘Duck’ or at least a word spelled somewhat similarly.  Michael could well have been one of the offenders as there were also reports of equipment abuse after he had used up his handicap allowance after about three holes.  Zimmer was another who used up his handicap allowance early in the round which might explain why he offered the information that a ball was ‘in the water’ but nothing more that might have allowed it to be found.

When asked how his round went today, Targe offered the little gem that he came up short at least three times today.  And everybody probably thought that he always came up short.  While on the subject of short, ChrisV was there after the game with a couple of the reasons that he has been short of sleep in recent times.  A double decker panzer-wagen containing the two peacefully sleeping cherubs that Chris has the hide to claim keep him awake at all hours of the night.  Come on Chris, toughen up.  As a side note, quite a number of members were spotted doing a bit of pram peeping.  Who said we weren’t a mob of softies?

Because of a couple of late scratchings, the Vin O’Meara Stakes pool has reduced to $1545.  First dividend will be $927, second $464 and third $154.  Most jockeys have opted to share the dividends and it will be up to the purchaser to make sure that their jockey gets their fair share.  And, undoubtedly, the jockeys will be doing the same thing.  The fixed price pool comes to $325 winner take all so definitely worth playing for.

If there are still any perpetual trophies out there on the loose can you please get them to Gordon this weekend so that they will be available for presentation, if not engraved, at the Christmas break-up.  Also Gordon would like to get firm numbers for the break-up so that the catering can be finalised to ensure that there is neither too little nor too much.  So, for goodness sake, read your emails and reply.

Results for Saturday, 03 December 2016
Leaderboard Round 1 1st Craig Cameron(65) 2nd Harry Boughen(67) 3rd Bob McDonald(69) 4th Brendon Mitchell(72) 4th Chris Priems(72) 4th Joe Wagenecht(72) 5th Andrew Blight(73) 5th Gordon Hill(73) 5th Dale Webb(73)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Craig Cameron (65) 2nd Harry Boughen (67) 3rd Bob McDonald (69)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 12th Michael Gourlay BallPin 15th Michael Gourlay

And so, the sun sets on another year of competition for Ivanhoe Men’s.  And it really did come down to the wire for the Club Championship.  Any one of three could have snatched it on the last day and the Tee Marshall very cunningly arranged for the three protagonists (Beast, Brendon and Michael) to be in the same group with Gordon tagging along as chief arbiter and referee just in case the situation got ugly.  As it turned out, the responsibility of it all put Gordon off his game even though he had nothing to do in the matter of peace-keeping.  But more of that later on.  The main game was to fight it out for the December Monthly Medal and 22 members came along to try for one last burst for glory this year.  Only 21 submitted finished cards after DennisT lost a ball in the middle of the fairway that everybody saw finish but nobody could find.  Dennis relaxed after that and played his best golf for some time.  Dennis really appreciates fine music but for some reason he was complaining about having to sit through a concert at the Darklands by some band called Crowded House (whoops – that should be ColdPlay) and then he wanted to know if anybody had heard of a singer called Adele as he was going to have to put up with her as well.  Get out of the 60s Dennis!

Enough of the small talk.  The course was in good condition and there was some run to be had.  A couple of the pin placements were a bit tricky and there was the usual spread of gum leaves and nuts (on the greens) to be contended with.  But no reason at all not to score well.  And, for the first time in a while, we had to have a count-back to decide the medal winner after Zimmer and Pepsi both fronted up with nett 64.  Pepsi finished his round equal to the card off the stick and with one under (32) on the back nine he was able to see off Zimmer (32.5) without having even to use his two handicap strokes.  Great golf from both of you and this augurs well for the up-coming Vin O’Meara and the rest of the strokeplay Championship if you can keep this up for another two weeks.

Next player to front the judges was Harry who wasn’t too happy with himself after a pair of triples on the first two holes.  But, with Simon and Bob to beat in the Seniors, Harry kept his head down and followed through in style (ask Bill) to come in with a nett 66 with a couple of others left out there.  You know what they say about aunties and uncles.  Just a stroke behind was none other than our new Club Champion and Seniors Champion, Bill (The Beast) who kept up with the sort of performance that he has been displaying throughout the year to add another three points to his impressive total and to see off the other wannabes who fell by the wayside as Bill chipped and putted the eyes out of the course with up and downs coming in quick succession.  He even got par on the 13th by playing his driver from the 10th fairway, through the trees, followed by a chip and a putt for the easiest of fours.

Chrispy managed to make up a bit of ground on Michael but it was just too little, too late.  But Chrispy already has his eyes on the double points for the Vin O’Meara as he reckons that is a good guide for the eventual Champion (except for this year, of course).  But Brendon, did come in second and, if only he had scored some more points – aunts and uncles again.  Anyway, enough of that.  Three other players shared the lime-light in fourth place and that was Jason, Dale and George who all have a very high strike rate for the number of games that they have played and they could very well be the ones to watch in the coming year.  Michael managed to sneak in for a point with his 69 nett and he too will be trying to position himself well early for a tilt at next year’s Championship after leaving this year’s run just a little too late.

The Nearest the Pin competition was a bit of a schemozzle again this week.  The BallPin was on the 4th and Targe put his pretty close to the hole and he put his name on the ticket.  Then he got excited about getting his birdie and walked off with the marker in his pocket and left a bare green for the rest of the field.  While on the subject of birdies, we only managed to score a dozen and half of those were down to Pepsi.  Lift your game fellows.  As a result, nobody was able to close the gap on Brendon in the Eclectic and so that honour goes to him.  Now, the ProPin was supposed to be on the 12th but the markers were nowhere to be found in that vicinity.  The green at the 15th was also bare and so it was that it eventually went out on the 18th and the early groups did not make much of a fist of getting the ball close enough on the green.  Then, along came Pepsi, who came within a whisker of a Hole in One and left the ball 90mm from the hole and so he collected the Double Dollars as well as the Medal.

Today was also the first round of the Strokeplay Championship and, needless to say, the first round leader in both side of the competition is Pepsi.  But, it is early days yet and somebody could kick him in his gammy knee and bring him back to the field.

Noodles has obviously come up in the world and now is a proud resident of Toorak though he does reckon it’s not a patch on Eltham and he’s not planning to buy a ‘tractor’ just yet.  He spent some time on the driving range at Yarra Bend on Friday and hit about fifty balls straight and out of sight.  He didn’t seem to be able to reproduce that form today and there was some question as to whether a club going out of bounds would incur a penalty.  Simon did have hopes of, at least, overtaking Harry in the Seniors Championship but that all went well and truly out the window after two balls finished OOB on the 15th.

Trevor was spotted buying a round of drinks but was deemed to have been unlucky when his draughtie resulted from a powerful return from a nearby tree.  Dale was, on the other hand, deemed to be lucky to get a ricochet from a tree when his shot on the 13th headed for the houses and seemed gone for all money.  As it was, it finished on the fairway and he played the hole out for a par.

The bar-be-que looked like being a bit over-catered when the first group teed off with a group who planned to head straight off but a few late-comers boosted the numbers and in the end, there were only a few sausages, bread and some salad left.  The bar-be-que was expertly manned by Simon and Harry who risked life and limb to light the burners with Simon’s cigarette lighter after all attempts to use the piezo lighter failed.  The burgers and the snags were given a thumbs up and quite a few returns for seconds (and more) were noted.

After lunch, those remaining retired to a secluded spot and, under the expert guidance of Gordo, dug deep to bid for a total of 24 potential runners in the Vin O’Meara.  The bidding was a bit more subdued than in recent years due to the absence of some of our less risk averse members but, if all 24 runners sold start next week, then the total pool will be $1600 giving a distribution of $960 for first, $480 for second and $160 for third.  The pool will be reduced for any sold who do not start.  Monies are due before tee time next week to Gordon.  Buyers are responsible for offering the jockey the chance to share the cost and dividend and for collecting the money owing and delivering to the club.  The fixed price (buy yourself) competition will also be open and the monies must also be paid before tee time next week.  Money invested on horses who start but do not finish remains in the pool.

Results for Saturday, 26 November 2016
1st Kazim Akdag(64) 1st Andrew Petricola(64) 2nd Harry Boughen(66) 3rd Bill Eastoe(67) 4th Jason Hopkins(68) 4th Chris Priems(68) 4th George Tenaglia(68) 4th Dale Webb(68) 5th Michael Gourlay(69)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (66) 2nd Bill Eastoe (67) 3rd Targe Mifsud (70)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 18th Andrew Petricola BallPin 4th Targe Mifsud

The Club competition year is rushing pell-mell to a close and a number of events are coming down to the wire.  The tension in some quarters is palpable and nervous flutters could very easily be affecting some people’s games.  Despite the fact that most dashes had been left far too late, there were still 23 members out on the course today to try to keep their least favourite contender out of the points if possible.  The course re-paid in spades with the fairways green and lush but forgiving enough to provide a bit of run for the nicely struck ball.  The weather gods were in a benevolent mood and the sun shone down from a cloudless sky but with not enough intensity to raise the temperature beyond a comfortable level.

So, conditions were ripe for some good scoring and some good scoring did eventuate but the spread of good results was rather limited.  The best on the day, with an off-the-stick score of 77, that missed being a personal best by the narrowest of margins, and a points score of +6 was none other than Simon.  It seems that his extra games during the week and the back-yard practice are starting to pay off big-time.

Fairly hot on Simon’s heels was Dale, who played in his first competition today since qualifying for his handicap.  The handicapper is beginning to think that the rules for handicap qualifying might need to be reviewed given the regularity of maidens getting up at their first outing.  Dale was joined in second place by Joe who might yet rue not leaving his dash for a week in his quest for a medal to hang around his neck.  Regardless, plus five is a score to be envied.

A couple of players who were looking on with envious eyes in third place were SOS and ChrisV who both played some steady golf and managed to play just under their handicap with a plus one result.  Chris might have been hampered by a lack of sleep that seems to have been plaguing him since the recent addition to the family came home to bring joy to their lives.  Fourth place was filled by a squad of four.  Two guys who just happened to mark each others cards but to which coincidence absolutely no blame can be attached, were CraigC and Michael.  Whitey was able to tear himself away from the cricket pitch for just one weekend and proved that he can keep his eye on the ball whether it be white or red (or pink or white).  The man who claims to have scored points every time he has played this year kept true to his claim and Snags upped his total by a couple more today to round out the group of four squares.  Plus, his claim is actually true with six games showing on the Championship Table and six scoring results.  He has a bit to do to match the Beast’s record of almost three points per round played.

Chrispy thought he wasn’t going too well today and as he walked up the 10th he passed Michael and conceded that the prospect of third place in the Championship had slipped from his grasp.  Michael obviously has his eyes on a greater prize but he might still have been affected by this piece of ‘good’ news when he shanked his second after one of his better drives of the day.  Chris managed to score a point with his minus one card but the prospect of a podium finish in the main game is now well and truly out of reach.  Chris was joined by the other Rod(G) and Stefan who seems to have tired of driving the 11th and is striving to emulate the feat on the 10th though today’s effort was a little astray out on the 13th.

The main Championship is now a strictly three horse race and the final placings will depend on the outcome of next week’s Stroke round with any one of the three, the Beast, Brendon and Michael able to come in with the top points for the year.  That should prove to be an interesting group to follow next week and there might be a need for a referee in case the going gets a bit rough as the round progresses.  The Seniors Championship has a winner as the Beast has an unassailable lead but there is likely to be a certain amount of elbowing going on for second and third place with Simon, Bob and Harry to fight that one out on the last day.  There is still a bit of life left in the Eclectic as Brendon could be rolled by a well placed birdie from DennisW.  The Beast and Rob will have to work hard on their nemesis holes for birdies or hope for the elusive eagle to cause the big upset.

On the subject of birdies, the strike rate was down a bit on last week and we managed only 14 for the day.  The ProPin today was scheduled for the 12th and there was a marker there but it was the one without the tape.  So, we don’t have a precise measurement, but a reasonably accurate estimate was put at 4.1m which allowed CraigC to beat out RodG for the Jackpot Pool so Craig should be able to feed the wive and kids tonight.  The BallPin was on the 18th but somebody forgot to put the marker out (no names Ed) and, although there were several claims to have been on the green, it was declared that the BallPin would Jackpot.

The Birthday Birdie reports that there are no birthdays to report on this week and so he is taking a well earned break from his arduous duties of delivering best wishes to all and sundry.

The weather was good today and a number of players had their shorts on.  One player didn’t have his shorts on but kept coming up short and that was CriagC.  He tried to rationalise it by stating that he really needed to practice his 1-2m (and sometimes 3m) putts.  Dale could have been in top spot today if it had not been for a wayward shot on the 17th that looked as if it could be lost/oob.  His provisional was last seen heading for Dights Falls but luckily (?) the first ball was found but totally unplayable so there was no real joy there as shots went astray after the penalty.  Snags also had some problems on the 17th.  It seems that Craig tried sledging SOS who sledged right back by challenging him to put his into the pond.  It took Snags a couple of shots but he did manage to do just that and put it in the pond.

Rob is a bit crooked on Blighty.  Rob had been doing it a bit tough coming up the 6th and even his approach shot to the green was off-line and a bit over-done and it was heading straight for Blighty’s bag and buggy.  Andrew rushed across and pulled the equipment out of the way of the ball which then flew unimpeded into the pond to ensure absolutely no chance of a score for Rob.

Targe has lashed out and bought himself a new pair of shoes using some of his ill-gotten gains in the inside competition.  Targe got a bit concerned when he noticed a large letter W on the box and thought it meant that it might have meant that they were women’s shoes.  He was somewhat reassured that it could very well mean ‘wide’ fitting.  If anybody knows the true meaning of the W, keep it to yourself, we wouldn’t want Targe to know the truth.

Chrispy was in a generous mood this morning and volunteered to give three people a lift to golf this morning.  Apparently it was a bit close and ‘whiffy’ when all and their gear was packed into the woneye express.  And out on the course, Chris was complaining that his playing partners used up all his Priems-tree luck when their shots bounced nicely into the fairway while his trickled down the trunk and spun back to the base of the tree.  The Beast was giving Brendon a bit of a ribbing about the fact that there is only one hole that he hasn’t birdied this year.  It seems that a week or so ago, Brendon had a good chance to fix that little problem but let a 2.5m putt just slip by.

We were pleased to welcome a new member who joined us today though there is some confusion as to what his name really is.  Initially, he was introduced as a long time member of the Royal and Ancient Company of Golfers by the name of Jock Strapp  Then rumours started circulating that he was really a time-travelling Jacobite who was known through the ages as Phillip McCavity.  An even more disturbing possibility came to light when the rumour mill suggested that it was actually Donald Trump on  a mission to add to his collection of golf courses by buying out Royal Ivanhoe.  And last, but not least, that it was actually and orang-utan that had defongerated from the Melbourne Zoo.  After the wild speculations had died down, it was finally revealed that it was none other than Gordo, sporting another of his Oppe Shoppe finds and everybody agreed that his appearance was much improved as a result.  There was also great general relief when it was revealed that his ambition to wear a girls school uniform as well was thwarted, firstly by a singular lack of willing school-girls and second, by an eminently sensible better half who absolutely forbade it.

Next week is the December Monthly Medal to finalise this year’s Championships.  It is also the first round of the Strokeplay Championship.  After the round, there will be the usual Club lunch and the Calcutta Auction for the Vin O’Meara Stakes to be run over the following two weeks.  We have a number of scratchings (horses that will not be up for sale in the Auction) already and if you fit into this category, please advise Harry and or SOS as soon as possible to simplify the execution of the event and the accounting for the funds taken in and given out.  Also note that if you opt out of the Auction, you can still play in the event, the calcutta will be determined by the placings of those horses that are sold.

Results for Saturday, 19 November 2016
1st Simon Powell(+6) 2nd Joe Wagenecht(+5) 2nd Dale Webb(+5) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan(+1) 3rd Chris Vinecombe(+1) 4th Craig Cameron(□) 4th Michael Gourlay(□) 4th Craig Sharp(□) 4th Rodney White(□) 5th Stefan Belevski(-1) 5th Rod Grant(-1) 5th Chris Priems(-1)

Seniors Results: 1st Simon Powell (+6) 2nd Craig Cameron (□) 3rd Rod Grant (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 12th Craig Cameron BallPin 18th Jackpot