Category Archives: Club News

The weather could not have been kinder to the twenty-one members and one guest who took to the field today.  The staff had been up at sparrow’s and the greens were freshly mowed so there were few excuses to be had for not scoring low though, it must be said, there were a few low scores returned.  Now, before you get your backwards all forwards, the competition today was Stableford and so low scores get high scores and vice versa.  If that makes sense.

So, it is a bit grim when a member hands in a card on which he played to his handicap for him to be told sorry, that doesn’t get a point.  And, one of the reasons for that was that el Presidente, JohnQ, beat his personal best by five strokes and coasted home with a total of 46 points to leave most of the rest of the field in his dust.  Chrispy reckoned he was getting RSI from having to write threes on the card so John very kindly scored a four pointer on the 17th to give him some relief.  What made it worse for Chris was the fact that his sump plug had fallen out completely and he was putting gashes on his own side of the card (some of the time, anyway).

Dale also had a round of doing nothing much wrong and he was Clubhouse leader for a little while.  He was noticed to heave something of a sigh of relief when news of John landed so that he wouldn’t get the winners penalty even if there were a few less points as a result.  Dennis had also been Clubhouse leader for some time (he was in the first group) and his result could have been somewhat better with a total of four lost balls for the round.  Two on the 13th when his tee shot finished in the right hand hazard.  His penalty shot over the hazard and trees went so well that it finished in the hazard on the other side of the fairway which resulted in a casual walk to the green.

CraigC made a bit of a come-back today and showed that a break from the course hadn’t done him any harm though he did admit to having played around a bit – I mean having played a few rounds.  Mal filled out the fifth position with a small break of his new handicap and showed that there is life in the old dog yet.  And the result could have been even better if he hadn’t had a run in with three trees on the one fairway (well not exactly ‘on’ the fairway) and a couple of other little aberrations.

There was a Jackpot ProPin on the 12th from last week and the pin was tucked into the far right corner of the green (again).  As a result, nobody got within the required 5m distance and so there will be a Double Jackpot next week.  Actually, somebody did get within 5m, but Porks couldn’t claim the pool because he wasn’t on the green.  He did get the birdie though and in the process he contributed to the total of 19 for the day, which is a pretty respectable total.  The BallPin was on the 15th and there was a bit of a contest that was won by Brent.  The ProPin on the 18th was even more fiercely contested.  In the first group, Simon eased out Dennis by a margin that varies from a few millimetres to a few inches depending on who you listen to.  But the prize went to Craig who managed to put it to 40cm.

The Birthday Birdie has a small job to do this week and he will be hunting down Noodles later in the week to make sure that he has a swiping good time for his special day.

Targe has been getting pretty familiar with the pumping system beside the 9th fairway.  His drive from the 1st was just by the pump-house while that from the 9th ended in the enclosure around the valve set.  When said drive looked as if it might have finished under the big deciduous tree on the left side, Ed reckoned that there was enough room for a full swing under there (even more so for Targe!)

Brendon didn’t have much of a day, even his playing companions felt sorry for him.  On one hole, he had his ball ‘stolen’ with a far inferior ball left in its place.  On another hole, as he lined up his putter behind the ball he touched it and it moved although, apparently, Brendon was the only one who noticed.  Plus he also had lots of problems with trees interfering with the flight of his ball..  As Chrispy said, it wasn’t a day for ‘good’ golfers.  Perhaps that is why Chris could be heard proclaiming his displeasure from one end of the course to the other.

Bob also had a few words to say and there is a move afoot to count the blasphemies to see whether he uses more than he takes strokes.  Another person who perhaps had a reason to swear, but there are no reports as to whether he did or not, was Jason, who left a putt about 50mm from the hole, and who went to ‘tap’ it in whereupon the ball did not move from its spot.

Next week will be our first GrandPar event for the year.  They are scheduled for any month when there are two ‘Club” Par rounds in a month.  The idea is that, if you win a hole without using all of your strokes you score extra points for the remaining strokes.  So, if you have a stroke on a hole and you birdie the hole you score +2.  This will require some concentration, particularly if you are playing inside as well as that will be a standard Par event and so it is possible that your scores will be different.

The AGM is scheduled for the week after.  If you have a hankering to be involved in the management of the Club you can nominate for any position on the Committee by downloading and printing a nomination form from the website (under Forms on the side-bar) and strong-arming a couple of your mates to nominate and second your nomination.  Any current Committee member who is planning to stand down it would be handy if you could persuade a replacement to stand or at least let the President or Secretary know of your intentions.

After next week’s round, the seeding for the Matchplay will be done in preparation for the start of the event the week after.  If you do not want to be included in the seeding for any reason, please advise by using the Registration Form as soon as possible so that the draw is as ‘clean’ as possible and all contestants intend to abide by the Rules of the competition.  The most important one is that, if a pairing have not played or advised an agreed result by the end of play on the closing date of the round, both contestants will be eliminated.  Please talk to each other.  Phone numbers and emails are on the Contacts/Member Directory.  As a hint, the security question still includes the sand trap that used to be on the 1st fairway.

Results for Saturday, 17 February 2018
1st John Quinlan(46) 2nd Dale Webb(44) 3rd Dennis Ward(40) 4th Craig Cameron(38) 5th Malcolm Fleming(37)

Seniors Results: 1st Dennis Ward (40) 2nd Craig Cameron (38) 3rd Malcolm Fleming (37)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Craig Cameron BallPin 15th Brent Rowley

There were no reported draughties today and Noodles’ new year resolution is still going strong, although his playing partner MattH may have lost a club in anger. He blamed the dewy conditions early on. MattN caught a bad case of the shanks early after being mostly flawless off the tee (according to Matt himself). Playing with Chrispy appears to be dangerous as Sos was reported to have caught the shanks a couple of weeks earlier. Pepsi didn’t have the greatest day on the field and was heard carrying on with expletives for most of the day after mostly missing putts.

Results for Saturday, 10 February 2018
1st Bob McDonald(+4) 1st Brendon Mitchell(+4) 2nd Chris Priems(+2) 3rd Andrew Blight(+1) 3rd Ryan Porker(+1) 4th Allan Davies(□) 4th Dennis Ward(□) 5th Dale Webb(-1)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (+4) 2nd Andrew Blight (+1) 3rd Allan Davies (□) 3rd Dennis Ward (□)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Stephen Butterfield BallPin 4th Matt Hunt

The humidity was so high you could almost cut the air with a knife.  And, as the fog and low cloud cleared away, the sun really began to bite and by the end of the round some players were struggling to make it up the last hill to the 18th green.  Chrispy could probably blame the after effects of his Australia Day celebrations.  Mal and Rod probably put it down to advancing age while Darklands Dennis was just relieved that the cricket and soccer are out of the way and the footy hasn’t started (yet) giving him a chance to get out for a game or two.  As for the other thirteen members who braved the conditions, or didn’t go away for the long weekend, they just grinned and bore it in the hope of playing some reasonable golf.

And, obviously, there was no reason not to play good golf if the score-lines that came in are any guide.  Noodles’ new year resolution still holds good although it seems that a series of three putt greens on the front nine required a bit of teeth clenching to maintain the focus on the job in hand.  The grip seems to have relaxed on the back nine and the putts began to fall and the score began to mount as the result of a ten stroke differential between the two halves.  In the end, a total of 42 points was enough to take the day though Noodles did express the view that 50 was a possibility if the flat stick had worked on the front.

On the other hand, John went gang-busters on the front nine and looked set to continue the blitz on the back but a bit of a wobble set in from the 14th to the 16th where three singletons took just a little of the shine off a bottom line of 41 points.  John had been going point for point with Jason as they agonised over who could least afford to win and take the winner’s penalty.  As it turned out the banter was all for naught and Noodles took the blow on their behalf.  Darklands was also wishing for somebody to come in and take first place so that he would avoid the penalty.  He got his wish but dropped more points because of his relegation to third place.

Jason has been working hard at his game with practice and games during the week and his dedication continues to pay off with another round that ended up delivering just a little less than it promised.  Matt H played a very consistent hand with 19 points on each half and he too bemoaned a few chances left out there.  Harry got three birdies today although only two of them would count to the Eclectic because one of them was of the actual feathered variety.  No wildlife was actually injured though and the total count for the birdies that mattered was 14.

SOS, by his own admission, hasn’t really been in the race of recent times and so he was pretty pleased to both play to his handicap and to score his first point for this competition year.  There were a few holes with room for improvement and so it might be that we see more of SOS on or about the podium in weeks to come.  Just out of the main points, but sneaking in for another point in the Senior’s Championship, was Simon who seems pretty pleased with his front running at this stage of the year.

The BallPin today was on the 4th and once again, somebody in the first group put it close and shut the rest of the field out.  The man of the moment to collect a ball was Mal who tried valiantly to follow a pretty speccy round on Thursday but he might just have wilted a little in the heat.  The mobile ProPin was on the 12th and Chrispy was able to keep his head down enough to put his ball to 4.5m and collect the cash on offer.  The ProPin on the 18th needed a shot to the top shelf and, as has been often the case, the target eluded the field and so there will be a Double Jackpot Pool up for grabs next week.

While on the subject of Chrispy, his backside has been a-peeling but it’s certainly not appealing.  After a particularly unsatisfying second hole, he knocked his ball into the cup and couldn’t be bothered (or wasn’t able) to bend down to pick it out and so a rather bemused following group speculated, remarkably correctly as it turned out, as to what had happened.  SteveK did try to claim that it was actually his ball that had gone into the hole without anyone noticing but that did not explain the ‘extra’ ball on the green that he was standing next to at the time.

Harry was bent down teeing his ball on the 15th when a call of ‘Fore’ came from the 14th.  Rather than move and make a larger target, Harry stayed put and the ball landed a metre or so away and bounced harmlessly over head and ran down the hill and settled in a puddle on the path.  Rob arrived, full of apologies and was searching for his ball on the tee box but had to have it pointed out that he had parked his buggy almost on top of the ball and that he must have just about stepped on it in the process.  Maybe something was distracting Rob because he scored the wrong person on the card for about five holes.  Fortunately, the error was discovered in time, and he had been using a pencil, so an eraser was all that was needed.  Pepsi wasn’t quite so lucky in avoiding a errant ball and took a rap on the ankle at the practice green after Steve ‘shanked’ a chip.  Shankfully, Chrispy was virtually shank free although he did own to a couple and Rod reckons he caught the disease from Chris.

Dale had a round of ups and downs but not necessarily the usual golfing variety.  One of the ‘downs’ was on the 15th when he sprayed his drive into the shrubbery and it bounced off a tree out into knee-deep kikuyu.  He left his bag after a brief search and went back to the tee to re-load.  A low vicious slice was saved from a similar fate in the long grass by hitting his bag dead centre.  That put paid to any scoring hope on that hole.  However, one of his ‘ups’ came shortly after on the 17th when his attempt to drive to the green strayed across onto the 18th.  He then lobbed it up over the trees and the chain-wire fence to a metre and a half from the hole and sank the putt for what turned out to be a pretty simple birdie and probably the ‘up and down’ of the round.

There are still one or two people who have not paid their subscription for this year so, if it has slipped your mind, it would be nice to get it fixed up as soon as possible.  Just a quick bank transfer into the Club account is all that is required.  And, just in case you don’t know, the Club sub is $30 and, if you have GolfLink with us, the total is $120.

The Matchplay Registration Form is open so if you do not want to be seeded for this event can you please indicate your intention by using the form.  Remember, if you are seeded, you have an obligation to play in the event and to abide by the rules that are posted under the Club Rules menu item.

Results for Saturday, 27 January 2018
1st Stephen Butterfield(42) 2nd John Quinlan(41) 3rd Dennis Tiernan(39) 4th Harry Boughen(38) 4th Jason Hopkins(38) 4th Matt Hunt(38) 5th Stephen O’Sullivan(36)

Seniors Results: 1st Dennis Tiernan (39) 2nd Harry Boughen (38) 3rd Simon Powell (34)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Chris Priems ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 4th Malcolm Fleming

Firstly a small apology to Rob, Jim and Peter for bastardising their memorable song line but I am sure they would forgive me if they too had been subject to Chrispy flashing his butt like an alpha baboon on the African savannah.  How many of the nineteen other members present were treated to the show is uncertain but, hopefully, there will be no long term psychological damage for those that were.  Fortunately, the heatwave conditions of the last couple of days had receded or passed on to other areas and conditions were just about ideal for some good golf to be played.

And there, absolutely, was some good golf to be played.  The man who made the best of it was none other than Stefan who managed to par the course on his way to taking out the day with plus six score-line.  The bottom line could have been even better with a couple of minuses on the card but a total of 5 birdies was the icing on the cake and contributed to the total of fifteen the the whole crew managed.  Simon was getting a bit of a complex as Stef drove green after green such as the 9th and the 11th and usually while Simon was in mid-stroke.  One plan is to shorten Stef’s clubs to try to bring him back to the length of the course.

On the first tee, Allan was heard to complain about the fact that he had been cut by four strokes as a result of his win last week.  The handicapper felt only the slightest pangs of remorse and the lack of sympathy proved to be well founded because Blitzkreig Davies put his head down and got his wedge working to chip in on two of the par threes for birdie on the way to finishing only a point behind Stef with +5 points.  The exhilaration must have gone to his head as he managed to drive off after the game without his manbag that contained his multitude of specs and credit cards.  Fortunately, it didn’t contain his phone and he took a call before he got too far down the road to come back to the course and pick it up.

Rod has been doing it a bit tough in recent times but he has been persuaded to trade his old driver for something just a little more up-to-date.  After a bit of a false start with the first recommendation, he tried and liked an alternate brand.  It looks to have worked some sort of magic as he presented with a very respectable plus three.  Although the driver might have helped, apparently it was his chipping and putting that made the really big difference.  Just adds to the justification for the statement that you drive for show but you chip and putt for dough (or at least points).

Si was probably a bit off balance due to his self-repaired denture which had a rather disconcerting habit of getting out of sync with his jaw.  A properly constructed replacement obviously settled him down (either that or the e-cig did) and he gathered a placing with his card of plus two.  He certainly seemed happier in himself than he did last Thursday.  After shocking half of the club before tee time Chrispy was relieved to find that his carry bag didn’t impinge on the delicate part of his anatomy.  He had spent several hours down in the park working on a solution to the ‘shanks’ which he reported had been successful.  And so it was that he was able to present with a square card at the end of the day with not a shank in sight other than those below his rather fetching shorts.  Chris was joined on the podium by John, Dale and the ‘arithmetic kid’ MattH (or maybe Rob was the culprit).

Ryan’s score today is probably better not mentioned.  But he did manage a couple of reasonable shots  After one such, which gave him the chance of an eagle, he promised his playing companions a share of the booty if he managed to sink the putt.  He didn’t manage it, but, when there were three on the 17th green from the tee, the promise was re-activated and, wouldn’t you know it, this time the putt rolled in and the Eagle’s Nest was laid bare in one fell swoop.  And so, a rather bemused, SOS was handing out balls to multiple ‘winners’.  He was also handing out largesse to multiple winners for the Double jackpot on the 15th hole ProPin after Stef (who else) put his ball to 1.24m after agreeing to a team split.  The BallPin was on the 4th and Joe was the one who shut out a couple of others to take the prize.  The 18th pin was on the top deck which seems to make the task just that little bit more difficult and so there will be a Jackpot on that hole for next week.  Nothing like some extra money to keep you interested.

The Birthday Birdie dozed off last week and forgot to send wishes to Rob and SteveK.  Hope it was a good one chaps.  This week the party boys are Keith and Jason.  Just keep thinking of it as one step closer to playing your age and keep on swinging (your clubs of course).

Things got a bit draughtie out on the course today even though there was little in the way of wind (we won’t mention John on the 1st).  Targe tried to dispute his as he reckoned that the ball was well past the red markers before it hit a tree and came back into the swamp in front of the second tee.  On the very same hole, MattN attacked the swamp from the tee side and came out of the battle the worse of it.  Rob, on the other hand, waited until the third hole before contributing to his playing groups drinking problem by not making it to the reds.

SOS was a bit worried that he might have to flash his ‘Freddie’ after a fairly warm exchange between players from adjacent fairways and the 10th tee group as to who had the right of way.  Chrispy, for one, was volunteering to exchange sexual favours over the matter.  Noodles spent a reasonable amount of time on the practice putting green before the tee time but perhaps that time would have been better spent on the driving range if the accuracy of some of his drives was any guide.  He was noticed gripping his club pretty tightly on a couple of occasions and as a result the resolution is still holding.

Joe sprayed his drive from the 5th more than somewhat and finished behind the pond by the 8th tee where he was left with little option but to chip it back into the open and further from the green.  He then proceeded to pitch it onto the green and into the hole for a birdie.  That would just about have to beat spectacular drives any day and at least the head stayed on the club.

Simon misplaced his expensive sunnies last week but, not to worry, Gordo found them, picked them up and messaged Si that he had them.  So, Si was a bit perplexed when he got a call saying that they had been found (undamaged) on the road in the entrance to the car park.  It seems Gordo put them on the roof of his trusty vehicle and promptly forget about them and they were deposited where they were re-found as he headed out of the car park.  Simon couldn’t wait to front Gordon and ask where his sunglasses were.

The AGM is coming up in March and, as is normal, all Committee positions are up for contest.  If you have a yen to contribute more to the Club, then find yourself a sponsor and a seconder and get your nomination in.  The Forms are available on the website.  In actual fact, there is lots of interesting stuff on the website if you only take the chance to explore the menus and have a read.  Not mentioning any names but a newspaper editor would be a bit upset if nobody read his little rag.

The Matchplay Championship is coming up again and the cut-off for seeding will be the 24th February with the first round starting the next week.  The Matchplay Registration Form is open and it would be appreciated that, if you do not want to be included in the draw, you indicate that wish by using the form.  Otherwise all active  and eligible members will be seeded based on their scores for their three most recent rounds played in competition.  The detailed rules are on the website but, in essence, if you and your opponent are present on any day within the period of the round, you must play.  Also, if no result is reported by the end of the last day of the round, both parties are eliminated.

Results for Saturday, 20 January 2018
1st Stefan Belevski(+6) 2nd Allan Davies(+5) 3rd Rod Grant(+3) 4th Simon Powell(+2) 5th Matt Hunt(□) 5th Chris Priems(□) 5th John Quinlan(□) 5th Dale Webb(□)

Seniors Results: 1st Allan Davies (+5) 2nd Rod Grant (+3) 3rd Simon Powell (+2)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Stefan Belevski ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 4th Joe Wagenecht

Eagle’s nest Results: Eagle 17th Ryan Porker