Category Archives: Club News

Get a grip.  Or at least get a new grip somebody said.  And that is exactly what young Ryan did.  A few hours on the driving range  and he put together last week’s stellar round.  The nay-sayers were whispering – he could easily slip back to his old habits.  Gordo was licking his chops and honing his acceptance speech.  CraigC was lurking in the background and not saying a lot but maybe quietly thinking – I can handle this young whipper-snapper.  But the sprinter turned out to have a bit of the stayer in him and a bit more practice on the driving range did enough to keep the new grip in place and Ryan beat his old handicap again which just added a little touch of salt to the wounds inflicted by the handicapper for the previous weeks effort.  Anyway, a sterling effort all round and a well deserved place in the Champion of Champions play-off next week.  Unfortunately, that will be off the new mark but the flying start to the Championship year has to be some consolation.  The only slightly suss aspect was the fact that the purchaser of this horse in the Calcutta was marking his card but careful checking has shown no irregularities.  Ryan should be able to buy himself a few more hours at the range with his divvie from the All-in pool.

Speaking about the new Championship year, the committee decided that there would be a slight change to the handicapping calculations this year and the let outs for those not breaking their handicap have been swapped around and those 18.5 and above will now go out by 0.3 while those below that mark will go out by 0.2.  In another addition to the Championship Points, there will be Bonus Points (3 each) for the members of the winning Yellow Ball Teams.  A trial of other Bonus Events will be held at various stages through the year.  The Bonus Wins will appear in a separate column in the Championship Table Report.

The round of the day today, which went close to emulating that of Ryan last week, went to Oliver who, as a result slipped into place as the Runner-up for the Vin O’Meara, equalling par overall off the stick for a nett score of 60.  On the back nine, 3 appeared on the card on no less than six holes which translates into a fair number of birdies.  And apparently, a couple of the putts that resulted in bogies could easily have gone the other way and a sub-par round was definitely up there amongst the possibilities.

Speaking of birdies, perhaps we should talk first about eagles.  There were actually two carded today.  The first was down to Noodles on the 3rd and the second was by Michael on the 14th.  Now, despite the discussion that went on after the game, the rules actually provide that the nest is shared in these circumstances.  It’s only if there is only one ball in the nest that the first eagle takes preference.  So congratulations to the both of you (2 balls each) and if the spoils have already been delivered to Noods he had better grin and bear it and make good next week.  On the birdies front, it fairly rained them today with a grand total of 25 and that despite some tricky pin placements and fast greens.

Now we get down to the points getters.  Gordon was pretty steady over the two weeks but needed to have made a bit more of an effort today to grasp the glittering prize but at the end of the day, he could only manage to gather the points that come with third place but better than a poke in the eye with a burning stick.  And his backers in the Calcutta will be pretty happy.

Keith was so confident with some of his putting that at times the group were in danger of having to call the ground staff to reposition the cup after he had rattled them in so hard.  He also managed to pull off what seemed to be an unlikely par after negotiating water hazards and bunkers to post a nett 64 and edge his way into 4th place.  Last in the points race were CraigC and Noodles who put in steady rounds to end up on 131 apiece.  Noodles did it a bit tough on the 14th green which admittedly had the pin in a (normal) nasty spot and it was running pretty fast.  At about this stage there were calls going out for the Butter Menthols as up till then, he had been going OK.

Whilst CraigC slipped a bit today, his excellent results in the previous two weeks meant that he was able to hang on to his lead in the Stroke Play Championship and took out the trophy with 196 nett which put him just in front of the fast finishing Oliver who ended with 198.  Stefan finished up in third place just a stroke behind on 199.  It has been pointed out that Stefan is one of the few players in the Club with a Club handicap that is higher than his GA handicap and when you can put a drive a couple of metres short of the 16th green you do have to wonder.  To Stefan’s credit, he did offer to put in new cards but we opted to let him come back at his old handicap.

The Nearest the Pin for a ball was put on the 7th today just to add a bit of interest.  There were a few ‘nearly-almosts’ but eventually Michael managed to put one on and put his name on the marker.  Then, he left it lying on the ground.  Gordon came along and claims that his ball was within a metre or so of the hole but he didn’t see the marker and as a result didn’t put his name on it or bring it back in to the club-house.  If it was so close Gordo, how come you didn’t get the birdie?  The ProPin was placed on the 15th and it too was looking pretty bare until along came Zimmer and put one within the required distance to block out all later comers but with the pin well back, the ball was only just on the green.

Allan Davies assures us that he has definitely retired this time and he won’t be doing any more Dame Nellies.  He has put in his first card to acquire his new handicap and looks as if he plans to grace us with his presence on a regular basis from now on.  Unless of course he gets the urge to go caravanning around Australia again.

Chrispy skin chicken was spotted trying to pull off some precision golf on the 8th from behind the hazard near the 6th green.  Under that branch and over those trees was all it needed said the big man.  Well, he hit the branch and went into the trees (and the hazard).  Reloads.  Same shot.  Hit the same branch, hit the same trees but this time the ricochet took him out onto the fairway so no chance of emulating Mehm’s effort on the 17th a couple of weeks ago.

Don’t forget, next week is a social day so the results won’t affect handicap and there are no Championship Points.  Next points round will be the January Monthly Medal.  By the way, the new Calendar is available on the website.

The following players will be competing for the Stuart Clarke Champion of Champions Trophy.

Mehmet, Chrispy, Eddie, Whitey, Noodles, SOS, Snags, Gordon, ChrisV, Damo, Beast, Brendon, Oliver, Ryan, CraigC.

The rest will be competing for the Chump of Chumps and working up an appetite for the Christmas Lunch afterwards which will also include some drinks at the bar.  And not forgetting, of course, the presentation of trophies to the skillful winners from this year.

Results for Saturday, 13 December 2014
1st Ryan Porker(57, 65, 122) 2nd Oliver Gross(68, 60, 128) 3rd Gordon Hill(64, 65, 129) 4th Keith Delzoppo(66, 64, 130) 5th Stephen Butterfield(66, 65, 131) 5th Craig Cameron(62, 69, 131)

Another excellent roll-up today despite the thunder and lightning during the early hours.  Nobody seems to have been put off as there was virtually a full field with only one of the nominations not fronting the starter and that was due to family reasons and not the effects of the storm.  Some of the runners don’t seem to have realised that this is a race for stayers and they have sprinted away at a fine old clip to hold a good lead in the back straight but it will be interesting to see how they hold up around the turn and into the home straight.

There were rumours doing the rounds after the game that Ryan had been seen lurking in the back streets around Windy Hill and calls for an investigation by ASADA to determine whether he tested positive for performance enhancing substances.  However, it seems that the real story is that he spent most of the week at the driving range working to develop a new grip.  And it seems to have been very effective in turning around somebody who scored 94/107/102 over the last three weeks into a monster that can card a 78 (nett 57) this week.  And they hung Ned Kelly!  Well done Ryan, but watch your back.

And one of the men to be watching is CraigC who also played a bit above his recent form and included three birdies in his card to give his eclectic a flying start.  In case you are wondering, the Eclectic table will be published next week with the final results for the Vin O’Meara.  And while on the topic of birdies, we managed eleven of the little blighters this week which wasn’t a really big number but did include one from the oldest dude in the Club, Mal, on the 17th, sinking a pretty impressive putt to do the job.  Just to prove that he isn’t always ‘two-putt’ Fleming.

Yet another player to watch in this high stakes game is none other than Gordo, our fearless firey President.  He too has been languishing a bit of late but maybe it is the prospect of a clean slate on the Championship Points table and the chance to get a flying start that has invigorated his state of mind and his game.

Ryan’s mate Chris is also up there and there-abouts with a more than respectable nett score of 65 and maybe if he takes a few pointers from Ryan and spends the week on the driving range he just might be able to make a match of it.  He’ll be able to afford at least some of the range fees as he put one close enough on the 15th to collect the ProPin.  The distance was under 5 metres but exactly how much could not be determined as the measuring tape seems to have gone missing.  For the other Nearest the Pin for a ball on the 12th seems to have been left to Gordon and once again, it wasn’t all that close.  Perhaps that lack of accuracy explains the small number of birdies.

When Mehm read out the results, he opined that those with higher scores than these were out of it so the people to thank their lucky stars are Keith, Noodles and Michael.  All would have to be pretty happy with their round, but with nine strokes to make up in one round, there would have to be something major going on, one way or another.

Despite how your horses went this week, we have your name and we know where you live and the monies will be collected for all those horses that were sold and that started this week.

In other news, it can be reported that Mehm improved his score on the 17th by 15 strokes which would just about have to set a record for the biggest turn-around on a single hole from one week to the next.  CraigS is apparently in the market for a new driver after something went wrong during the round.  Not sure whether it went wrong with the club itself or whether the club was an innocent victim.  Snags also had to rush off to be a bar-b-que – or was that to be AT a bar-b-q.  SOS was putting his Academy training to good use today by using his feet to rough up the greens on other people’s line.  And Pepsi was heard to be complaining about how he had been pulling it all day.  Maybe that is why his golf was off the pace a little.  Pepsi would have added to the birdie total a couple of times today if it hadn’t been for the fact that he birdied the holes with his second off the tee.

And now, the thing you have all been waiting for.  The groups for next week will be:

1. Laurie, Mehmet, Eddie, Brendon
2. Chrispy, Mal, Bobbie, Snags
3. Harry, SOS, Pepsi, Trev
4. Zimmer, Stef, Targe, Oliver
5. Michael, Noodles, Keith, ChrisV
6. Gordon, CraigC, Ryan

Any other players will fit into group 0 or take the place of late scratchings (if that makes sense).

There have been some definite moves on the leader Board for the Club Stroke Play Championship, the biggest of which was down to Ryan after today’s sterling performance.  CraigC has taken over top spot with a bit of a comfortable lead over Michael and Stef.  As an aside, Michael was successful in winning both the scratch and A-grade in the course Championships and the Club was very well represented in the field though the gongs were a little thin on the ground other than for Michael.  In case you haven’t found them, our leaderboards appear under the Competitions menu.

VIN O’MEARA LEADER BOARD – ROUND 1

1st Ryan Porker(57) 2nd Craig Cameron(62) 3rd Gordon Hill(64) 4th Chris Vinecombe(65) 5th Stephen Butterfield(66) 5th Keith Delzoppo(66) 5th Michael Gourlay(66)

The last chance to win a Medal for this year. the thrill of the chase bidding for the horses in the Calcutta, the thought of sizzling snags (no, not Craig), the beautiful weather or just the prospect of good golf and good company.  Whatever it was, it brought the numbers out in droves again and we had pretty much a full complement out on the tees.  Kiwi Dave was here again and the time that he has been putting in coaching son, Brendon, seems to be paying off at last.  Though, it must be said that Brendon did not card the best score submitted.  That honour went to Mark, who, unfortunately did not meet the criteria of having played in the last month to be eligible for the Medal.  Still, that’s the way the golf ball bounces sometimes.

Brendon did not have it easy though as his nett score was tied with Stefan however his higher handicap won the day for him in the count-back that was necessary to break the tie.  Stefan will have to come back next year and tidy up his front nine to try for some heavy metal to hang around his neck.

CraigC was playing in exalted company today as he was teamed up with Michael and Pepsi, our two low markers but he seems to have been unfazed by the prospect and kept his head down to bring home the third place bacon.  It seems that the anticipated shoot- out between Michael and Pepsi went off with more of a whimper than a bang and some are wondering whether Pepsi went a bit flat in the face of such opposition.  Michael kept on bubbling however and put together another of his 70 off the beater rounds to claim his fourth (mostly fourth) placing in a row.

Next in line, and playing exactly to his handicap was the Man Who Never Was, at least to some of our newer members, so rarely does he grace the hallowed fields of Ivanhoe with his presence.  And Rodger didn’t have it on his own-some as he was joined by none other than that son of a gun, Targe.

The ProPin was set at the 12th today and from the back tees it didn’t seem to be that easy a target but at least one member managed to put it within spitting distance of that very elusive beast the hole-in-one.  Well done Stefan for putting it within about 300mm of the hole which pretty much excluded anybody else from the competition.  A similar difficulty was in play on the 12th for the Nearest the Pin for a ball and the Denizen of the Darklands, Dennis was the man to put it pin high but a few metres out to the west of the hole.  Dennis didn’t manage to get the birdie but there were a total of 15 today which is a pretty fair average for the number of players in the field.

One man who did get a birdie was Paul who was playing today to put in his second card towards his handicap and he did it pretty easily on the 6th.  However, the hole of the day for Paul, had to be the 11th when his drive hit the pine tree and bounced hard left to finish at the feet of a player on the 2nd.  The second shot threaded through the spotted gums towards the green.  A less than successful chip ended just off the green and he proceeded to chip it into the hole for the ‘easiest’ of pars.

So, there was some very good scoring done today and you would have to say that there was some pretty ordinary scoring done as well.  Some of the less-do-wells spread their misfortune out over the whole round but at least one made an heroic effort to concentrate a very sorry tale into a single hole.  Even the computer objected at the prospect of having to digest a score of twenty-two (yes 22) on the one hole.  How can this be you might ask.  Well, all it requires, is for you to put nine balls either into a water hazard or out-of-bounds.  And it seems that Mehm did this from a spot that he didn’t even have to play the ball from after the first one went into the hazard, but, he just kept blazing away.  Must have a good supplier of balls or he gets them really cheap somewhere.

One of the upshots of this was that none of the contenders for the Title of Club Champion managed to gather any points from todays event and the almost undisputed Champion for 2014 is none other than Ed.  He came in at the beginning of the year with the stated intention of taking out the big one and, lo and behold, he went out and did it.  It wasn’t a one horse race, however, as it was one of the closest run things that we have had for quite a few years.  Mehmet might have had a chance today, except for the 17th, but he will have to settle for runner-up and set himself a target to do better next year.  Chrispy hung on to gather third place and if it hadn’t been for his gypsy caravan weekends and trips to Mansfield, the ultimate prize might very well have been his.

The Seniors Championship was also a bit of a close run thing and once again it has turned out that we have a dual Champion as the man at the top of the list at the end of the year was none other than Ed again as he squeezed out Bill and Oliver who were in with some sort of a chance to the bitter end.

Then there was the Eclectic.  This required the scoring of a goodly share of birdies and the occasional eagle to be in with a chance.  And the one who came in with the chance was our number one twit(ter) in the person of Noodles who grossed 52 for a nett of 46.2, almost a stroke in front of his nearest contender Oliver.  And both had eagles to their name.

Next week sees the start of a new competition year with the prestigious Vin O’Meara stroke event that also forms the last two rounds of the stroke play Championship.  Sorry about todays result Mehm.

Of course, the Vin O’Meara is the subject of our annual Calcutta Auction that was carried out after todays event.  The state is obviously in a very good position after four years of a Liberal administration as the bidding was vigourous with plenty of competition for the favoured runners.  Whether the same will be able to be said next year is still somewhat up in the air.  The top price was paid for Stagehand who will be under the capable hands of jockey Ed Kloprogge.  Whilst there has been more than a little noise from the owners camp during the year, the recent form has been a bit under the weather and it is the brave punter that puts his eggs in this basket.  But then again, if you want to make an omelette, you first have to break some eggs.

There are a few changes coming up in the competition  in the coming year and president Gordo will be making an announcement on the committee decisions in the very near future.  In the meantime, we look forward to the next couple of weeks of competition and the Champion of Champions event on the 20th December that will be our break-up and presentation day as well.  If we can get an early indication of number for this event that will help immensely with the catering for the Christmas lunch.  To this end we will be surveying over the next two weeks and advice by e-mail or phone would be greatly appreciated if you are not attending the events.

Results for Saturday, 29 November 2014
1st Mark Berthelsen(64) 2nd Stefan Belevski(65) 2nd Brendon Mitchell(65) Medal (c/b) 3rd Craig Cameron(66) 4th Michael Gourlay(67) 5th Rodger Clarke(68) 5th Targe Mifsud(68)

Another great roll-up today.  Maybe it is the warmer weather or maybe people are just trying to suss out the form for the Vin O’Meara or maybe the close finishes in the championships have created a new interest.  Whatever the reason it is great to see the tee times full and if a few more of our sick and injured make it back we might need to plead for extra space – which would be good – a sign that the Club is kicking along.  The course continues to be maintained in close to the pink of condition and it was pretty darned good today except maybe for some casual water in front of the 6th green.  At least we didn’t need our raincoats as the sprinklers had been turned off (more or less) by the time that we got there.

Well, just as some were beginning to think that the young Turk, Zimmer, was showing signs of slipping a bit he puts one together and picks up the top points with the greatest of ease though there was one hole that showed signs of being into double figures.  That is what comes from playing a par and a stroke event in combination – no option to pick up.  This will do wonders for what the punters are prepared to pay next week though they will have to take into account the handicap adjustment that goes with it.  Right along-side, in the field as well as in the result was the other half of the terrible twosome, Stefan.  And they marked each others cards.  The saving grace is that they were playing with Michael and Snags and it might have been the incentive to try to better Michael that lifted their game.  Well done, B1 and B2 – and no the B doesn’t stand for Butthead.

Michael also had a pretty reasonable round and came in with a +1 to share third spot with Harry.  Both had their chances in the main comp with a number of putts just missing the mark.  But the real story was from the Yellow Ball Team consisting of Michael, Snags, Zim and Stef.  They were going gangbusters and had managed to be seven up after thirteen holes.  A ‘safe’ shot by Stef from the 14th into the fairway on the 16th didn’t look as if it would pose a problem.  However, the ball was nowhere to be found despite strong suspicions that it had been souvenired by players on the other fairway – who incidentally denied all knowledge.  Maybe it was just karma as a pay-back for Snag’s shot on the 13th that was heading so far out of bounds that it looked like going into orbit when it hit the No Trespassing sign and ricochetted back into play.

A nice little group of three came in square with the card so CraigC, Oliver and Pepsi have done their handicap no harm and Oliver picked up a couple of valuable points in his chase for the Championship.  It must be the different shape of the earth down here compared to Sydney as Pepsi is still ‘spraying’ them a bit – relatively speaking.  Craig has become quite a regular in the winners list and could be one to watch for the Calcutta and the Vin O’Meara.  Last cab off the rank was Chrispy who also picked up a valuable point to remain in the group of four who have a chance to win or tie the Championship Table.  Should make for an interesting round next week which will be the December Monthly Medal and also the first round of the Club Stroke Play Championship.

The Seniors Championship also has a bit of life left in it with three of the old codgers with a chance to win or tie and given that they are also contenders for the Club Championship, the Leader Board will take care of that grouping as well.

Not a great number of birdies around today considering the number of players in the field and almost the only change to the Eclectic were down to the newer players in the Club.  But there is still some interest in the result and a couple of strategically placed birdies or eagles next week could make all the difference.  The dash has been left a bit late for handicap movements to help out.

The Nearest the Pin for a ball on the 12th went to Michael and rumour has it that he had his name on the inside ProPin on the 4th as well.  Our ProPin on the 18th was taken out by Stefan who seems to have had a pretty good day of it.

Today we welcomed along for his first card round Paul Rowland and according to all reports he enjoyed himself.  He was in a group with Blighty who went to great lengths to convince them all that today was actually the December Monthly Medal and a stroke round.  So there was a mad scramble to work out the Par scores after they were told in no uncertain terms by Snags what the real situation was.

Brendon’s Dad, Dave, was along again today and provided one of the more amusing shots of the day.  The ball was quite deeply buried in long grass on the river side on the 17th green and Dave fairly bravely opted to play it out.  Lo and behold when he struck the ball, two balls emerged from the rough.  It seems that there was a second ball buried even deeper in the long grass right next to his that he hadn’t seen.  That would be one for the Rules fanatics!  Quite probably, Dave didn’t want to be out-done by Brendon who managed to put one close to the 4th green – from the 8th tee.  Not a shot that you would see too often.  He had a bit of trouble getting the distance to the flag with his laser ranger from there.

Not sure if Chrispy found his ball on the 14th as there were some reports that it was deep in tiger country on the slope down from the tee boxes.  Maybe that is why he tried to steal the Beast’s beer from under his nose after the round.

On the subject of Rules, there has been some discussion recently about the rules for relief from (lateral – the only type that we have) water hazards.  A while back, there was a post on this topic and in the interests of providing easy access, there is now a link to this under the Rules menu at the top of the page.  It would be a good idea if everybody had a read and makes sure that they understand the application of the rules so that nobody is seen to be unfairly advantaging themselves by incorrect practice.

Don’t forget, December Monthly Medal, Bar-be-que and Calcutta Auction for the Vin O’Meara is on next week.  The order of sale will be reverse Championship Points for those that have nominated.  Scratchings and unlikely starters will not be sold.  This round, together with the two rounds of the Vin O’Meara make up the Club Stroke Play Championship that is determined by the best nett score for the three rounds off your starting handicap.  We should be back to the normal Blue tees for the Vin O’Meara.

Results for Saturday, 22 November 2014
1st Kazim Akdag(+3) 2nd Stefan Belevski(+2) 3rd Harry Boughen(+1) 3rd Michael Gourlay(+1) 4th Craig Cameron(□) 4th Oliver Gross(□) 4th Andrew Petricola(□) 5th Chris Priems(-1)