Category Archives: Club News

With nine players within four points, this was a competition with plenty of potential for one of the back runners to come through the field with their second wind on the second round.  And there was plenty of potential for the leaders to falter having used up their puff and fall back through the field.  The conditions were pretty much ideal for the field of seventeen or so of our members who managed to drag themselves out of bed in time though there was apparently one sleepy type who kept his lift waiting for some time and then had to get dearly beloved out of the feathers to give him a lift to the course.  No names, but what can you expect from an exiled Kiwi.  The weather was cool and cloudy and there was still a bit of dew on the greens that made them a bit variable as the round progressed and when you are playing with a pink ball it can be a bit hard to see against the grey clouds.

But, that little handicap didn’t stop Chrispy (now known as the Real Priems) from galloping away to a good start and by the turn he seemed to be showing the field a clean pair of heels.  On the 11th, the line of his power fade brought the ball into the depths of the big pine tree and so the search was concentrated in the tree line and down the 2nd fairway but, wouldn’t you know it, the ball finished way down the 11th in a prime position for an approach shot to the green.  Typical Priemsy.  Then, as he put it, he started to leak a bit of oil and it wasn’t clear whether he needed sawdust or banana peels in the diff but, whatever the remedy, the leakage was staunched a little and the damage was only a -1 on the back nine for a result for the day of +4 to make a winning total of +6 to take out the trophy.  And it is one that he hasn’t hoisted so far in his career and he was pretty pleased to be able to do so at the presentations.

The next place-getter also managed to keep his head down though there were a couple of occasions when it looked as if he could easily bolt from the course.  He obviously came to the course today with the intention of taking the trophy as he had tattooed (only with texta) on the back of his hand words like ‘look’, ‘align’, ‘concentrate’.  Whatever, it seems to have worked and if not for a couple of aberrations, the total of +4 for the event could easily have been +6 or even better.  Well done Trevor maybe you should make that tattoo permanent.

Gordon got very touchy during the presentations when it appeared that his card must have been missed out of the calculations and after much checking of cards and to-ing and fro-ing it turned out to be still in his hip pocket.  Not surprising that he was agitated as he turned in with a pretty nice +3 today and overall to snaffle the third placing for the event.  On the way to that score he managed to slot three birdies out of a total of ten for the day so not a bad percentage for one bloke.  On the 10th, his putt for par had to all intents and purposes missed the hole with Gordon having a good whinge when it hit something on the green surface (pitchmark or gum-nut) and did a sharp right hander and fell into the hole.  As they say, it’s not how, just how many.

Fourth place on a square card on both days went to none other than Sleepy himself.  Then followed a swag of one point getters on -1 and the list included Taner, Noodles, the Beast, Mehmet and Blighty.  The beast managed a birdie on the second which might not seem all that surprising except that his third shot was from a position in which he could barely see the green let alone the pin but he popped it up, ran it over the mound by the green and down the hill into the hole.  Blighty started out at a blistering place and was four up after five holes but then , depending on your point of view, either faltered and only managed to finish +3 or, alternatively held it together well to only drop one point for the rest of the round.  Taner was noticed taking in the sights of a fair bit of the course but, despite the zig-zag path followed, still finished well enough.  Mehmet still doesn’t have a win.  But he is getting the shirts (and no, there isn’t an extra ‘r’ in there).

So, after the last of the double pointers for the competition year, there has been a bit of movement at the station and there are a few people who could catch Ryan provided that they strike while the iron is hot and especially while Ryan is away on leave.  Gordon still has a bit of a break in the seniors but there are a couple of contenders just a couple of wins behind (provided of course that Gordon is out of the points).  For those of you who don’t read your e-mails, the Eclectic is only updated on the second week of a major (just like the handicaps) and in that event, Pepsi still has a hold on it but the gap has narrowed slightly now that Noodles’ birdie on the 7th from last week has been accounted for.

The Nearest the Pin for a ball was on the 7th and there were a couple of names on the card and the most recent of those was Gordon.  The ProPin was on the 18th and there was only one name on that card and that name was Gordon.  So, all round, Gordon had a good day.

Simon was only just outside the points ranking and he is going to be lining up with some new artillery in the near future and he has great expectations that this will mark a turn around in his fortunes.  Speaking of clubs, Chrispy is using a putter that Pepsi sold to Snags and which Snags used to attack his bag or somesuch.  Chrispy reckons that the ding in the face of the putter makes him concentrate on hitting the ball flush.  He also talks wishfully of new clubs but Carolyn was off on a shopping crawl somewhere today so maybe the new clubs will be a bit further in the future.

The bar-be-que was well catered by Gordo with a good selection of meats, salads and dressings.  The chefing by SOS, Ed and Rob was done to perfection and everybody hoed in but, even so, there were still a few snags left at the end of the day.  Pepsi was there with Alexander but there was no sign of happy snaps of the new addition to the Petricola household.  Maybe next time.

The Birthday Birdie has whispered that Dick and David will be celebrating this week so all pubs be warned.

Results for Saturday, 17 October 2015
1st Chris Priems(+2, +4, +6) 2nd Trevor Jackson(+3, +1, +4) 3rd Gordon Hill(□, +3, +3) 4th Brendon Mitchell(□, □, □) 5th Taner Kemal(+1, -2, -1) 5th Mehmet Akdag(-3, +2, -1) 5th Bill Eastoe(-2, +1, -1) 5th Stephen Butterfield(-1, □, -1) 5th Andrew Blight(-4, +3, -1)

Seniors Results: 1st Trevor Jackson (+4) 2nd Gordon Hill (+3) 3rd Andrew Blight (-1)3rd Bill Eastoe (-1) 3rd Taner Kemal (-1)

No names, no pack-drill but Chrispy was gloating a bit this morning about the possibility of easy points from a small field.  That was until the late rush started and the field of members cranked up to seventeen.  The addition of a couple of ex-members in the persons of Derek McDonald and Jason Gratton brought the total field to nineteen.  The event has some significance for Derek as Fred was his father-in-law and Derek actually won the event some years back after which he chucked his clubs back in the bag and retired from the Club.  Rumour has it that the lads could be planning a comeback if some real estate deals can be done.  Always welcome whatever the circumstances.

Normally we would have expected the field to be filled but a couple of family matters, in particular the arrival last Monday of Madeleine Sophia Petricola, kept a couple away and the finish of the football season means that the summer game has conspired to draw a few others away from the course.  Not our Noodles of course who apparently signed up for the season and then pulled the plug.  Whether the team can get by without him remains to be seen and he has been known to make a comeback before.

Conditions were verging on the magical today if a little warm and humid.  So much so that the weather gods made a desultory effort at sending down some rain.  Umbrellas and jackets were unfurled but it lasted less than half a hole so hardly worth the effort and surely not enough to keep Blighty out of the garden to be faced with the alternative of house-work.  Maybe it was the heavy air but there were not a lot of birdies reported today with the total coming in at nine.  Bill reckons this shot should have been a birdie if the ball marker hadn’t got in the way but, to have had enough legs to get to the hole, surely it wouldn’t have come to rest where it did. The ball marker did get moved closer to the hole in a later group and Brendon was the grateful recipient of the ball for the Nearest the Pin.  The ProPin was on the 18th and 4.5m was close enough to put the hand up for the dosh and the hand that went up was none other than that of Noodles.  Never backward in coming forward when it comes to money (or the other thing).

Despite the lack of birdies, there were a couple of Eagle chances today but the big bird breathed a sigh of relief not to have the nest raided again so soon.  On the 17th, the Beast had a great chance of emulating Brendon’s performance of a couple of weeks ago by leaving his drive about 1.5m short of the hole.  The putt was long enough but just that bit off line.  The other chance was with Ryan on the 14th but not only did he miss the eagle putt but he ended up not scoring on the hole at all – that makes at least 4 putts.

So then, who are the contenders in this the last double header of the competition year.  Trevor had his fair share of ‘oh my gosh’ and ‘oh my gollies’ but still managed to make good use of his double points to keep on the right side of square to come in with a +3.  Harry joined him him there after having gotten carried away by Blighty’s excitement and forgot about the fact that his handicap was actually 18 and that he only got one stroke on the 13th.  So, whilst it might not have been five plusses in a row on our card, it was on the inside card and almost, but not quite a PB for the back nine.  Breathing down their necks and still hoping for the easy points is Chrispy (the fake Priems according to Mehm) just a single point behind on +2.  Would be good to be a fly on the wall with that group next week.

Next train out of the station was a group of Seniors (making five of the first six from those ranks) with Keith and Taner on +1 and Gordon with a square card.  Brendon also had a square card and he will join this group.  Gordon is still in the soft shoes and keeping his weight on the good foot and this group are not without their chances of finishing at the front of the pack.

Noodles and Simon on -1 will be joined by Mal and the Beast with their -2.  The front two groups, to be filled by extras who didn’t play today will consist of Mehmet, AndrewB and Ryan and Zimmer, Robert and CraigC.  The full listing of scores appears on the Major Event Leaderboard menu.

Trevor was looking for a hammer or jack-hammer a couple of times today when the subsoil on some of the tees was something like the consistency of concrete.  Mal was sporting a nasty looking bruise on his forehead that resulted a couple of days ago when he walked smartly out of a door in a building and turned immediately right and smacked into the glass wall of the lobby that he had entered.  The glass was not damaged by the encounter though Mal’s pride undoubtedly was.

Blighty reckons that his tee shot on the 11th must have hit a rubber tree when it came so far back up the 2nd that he thought he was in danger of not making it past the ladies.  To rub salt into the wound, the group coming down the 2nd asked him about five times whether he was sure it was his ball or not.  Rob, presumably the non-fake Priems, likened his game today to be akin to a run of ducks by one of the Chappells – he was hitting the ball well but he wasn’t scoring.  The Beast is known the generate a fair amount of club head speed with his down-swing, so much so that Chrispy is concerned that one day his arms will pop out of their sockets and all we will see will be a pair of arms gripping a club sailing down the fairway.

There were some pests out on the course today in the form of tiny flying insects and they were particularly prevalent on the 9th green causing some to think they were seeing spots before their eyes and interfering with their putting stroke by settling all over the ball.  Not wanting to tell tales on a guest but apparently Derek upended his bag twice on the 17th.  Opinion was divided as to whether this was just clumsiness or whether he just couldn’t find the right club without doing so.

So, any number of contenders for the big prize next week.  Even if you didn’t play today, come along and join the fun and participate in the usual bar-b-que that Gordon will be catering in his usual gourmet style.  Casual attendances will fill the spots in the front groups (and/or create new groups).  Pepsi will undoubtedly bring along snaps of the new addition and she will have to count for a wish from the Birthday Birdie this week as the calendar seems to be empty of auspicious occasions just at the moment.

Results for Saturday, 10 October 2015
Leaderboard Round 1 1st Harry Boughen(+3) 1st Trevor Jackson(+3) 2nd Chris Priems(+2) 3rd Keith Delzoppo(+1) 3rd Taner Kemal(+1) 4th Gordon Hill(□) 4th Brendon Mitchell(□) 5th Stephen Butterfield(-1) 5th Simon Powell(-1)

There has got to be some special significance to the number nine.  Perhaps it will be the number of goals that Hawthorn wins the Grand Final by.  Perhaps it is the number of planets that used to be in the Solar System – until they demoted poor old Pluto.  Perhaps it is the number of strokes that Snags took after his tee shot on the 16th to get the ball in the hole.  And perhaps it is the number of members who could tear themselves away from Footy Festivities to take advantage of the beautiful spring weather and the magnificent course conditions at Ivanhoe.

So, since there were more than the minimum six players required for a competition, there was some discussion as to whether it should be declared a competition day or not.  Common sense prevailed and it remained a Social round, if only to keep Gordon from accumulating more points in the Championship tables.  As it turned out, that was a good move as GG (Gouty Gordo) set out to take the course apart.  At least he did until the 14th when Snags put the mockers on him to induce an uncharacteristic lapse in putting.  A repeat performance on the 15th had the handicapper looking askance and asking whether he was choking or foxing.  On balance, it was deemed to be more likely the former.  So, despite this lapse, if there was a winner on the day, it would have to have been Gordon who has vowed to keep up his diet of tomatoes, shellfish and red wine to keep the gout ticking over with the attendant need to wear sneakers rather than golf shoes and to keep the weight on the other foot.

In the absence of a club competition, a cash pool was established and divided between two ProPins, one on the 12th and one on the 15th.  Snags was tasked with the carrying of the markers and despite his threats to put them out on holes where he had good shots, they did go out on the nominated holes.  Mal snuck one in on the 12th and was pleasantly surprised to receive the cash.  Lo and behold, the name on the marker at the 15th was Snags which might go some way to explaining why there was no club throwing after the afore-mentioned debacle on the next hole.  He did get a bit cranky with the ball though.  Or maybe he is just being a good boy in the lead up to his birthday next week.  Have a happy one Snags.

Keith has woken up from his winter hibernation and seemed fairly happy with his first round for a while.  The Beast has also advised that he is now fit and well and will be a force to be contended with in the weeks to come.  Bring it on!

DennisT seemed fairly relaxed about not getting a call-up to work at the Darklands and was pleased to be able to work on getting his swing back into the groove.  The greens were deemed to be hard and fast and nary a birdie was heard to tweet.  However, Dennis reckoned he putted for par on twelve holes and only managed to get one.

Reports of three putts were common and although some of the pin placings were unusual and tightly placed, it seems that the pace was more a factor than anything else.  However, there was one no putt green after Harry took a drop out of the hazard at the back of the 5th and proceeded to chip it up and in for an unlikely five.  Never looked like missing according to his playing partners.  Some thought the shot had been played out of the hazard and lost interest when they heard otherwise.

On the 2nd tee, Gordon saw something that he reckons you don’t often see on GF Day, to whit, a Magpie, on the ground in front of the tee.  He also opined that if it wasn’t careful it could be a dead one.  Though a bit off line, Gordo’s tee shot was low enough to have done the job.  Thank Gord for that, said the magpie.

Simon has been gallivanting in the course of his employ and tells stories of his amazement at the standard of the driving ranges in Japan.  Nobody touches a ball in the whole place, not even the staff.  The practice hasn’t paid off just yet but he reckons, when he works on the strength of his left shoulder, he will be a force to be contended with (or at least he’ll be able to keep playing the game).

Next week is the first round of the Fred Kitson.  We are hoping for a good roll up and would like to know if we need to reserve another tee spot.  We know that a couple of old members are going to turn up so please let us know one way or another if you will be playing.  Send an email or use the Registration page.

 

 

For some reason I have been reminded of a bit of schoolboy doggerel that goes something like this.

Giddy, giddy gout, Your shirt’s hanging out.

Well, there was no-one hanging onto Gordo’s shirt-tails today although he did report that he was suffering from gout that was apparently brought on by high living on board ship and alcohol consumption while waiting for dearly beloved to explore the shops in Venice and other exotic places.  Taking advice from Doctors O’Sullivan and Mitchell Gordo was heading off to Dan’s to stock up on supplies of Guinness but totally ignored the advice of Doctor Boughen that what he really needed was tincture of Naked Lady.

But enough of what ails Gordon and lets talk about the golf.  Though the day started off a bit on the cool and misty side, the sun eventually got up enough to burn off the mist and bathe the course in a brilliant light.  And what a magnificent sight it was.  The fairways were green, well mowed and, other than a few spots, quite dry.  The greens, whilst not quite so lush in colour, were firm and fast and according to some were running true.  JohnQ might argue with that observation after recording five putts on the 12th and he might get some support from Snags who wasn’t quite able to snag it on the 18th and took four from about a metre.

Whether it was the state of relaxation after the holiday or the change in weight distribution necessitated by the gouty foot there was no stopping Gordon today as he gathered a pair of birdies, one with an 8 metre curling putt on the 12th, and played most of the rest of the course with nothing worse than bogie.  All in all, a fine effort to collect the Medal with a nett 64 and a certain amount of damage to the handicap just in time for the Fred Kitson in a couple of weeks.  By the way, this will be the last Major for the year so a good chance to catch up on Ryan who will apparently be out of circulation at the time.

While on the topic of birdies there were only eight scored for the day which is a bit surprising given the size of the field (22) and the good condition of the course and the greens.  However, as Ryan commented last week, the Eagles Nest was getting up a bit, to the stage of being worth winning, and what do you know, there was an eagle scored today on the 17th.  Brendon speared an iron shot over the trees, straight at the hole and finished only about a metre and a half away and sunk the putt for the easiest of results.  Of course he was in need of a new supply of balls after putting two into the river on the 8th and misplacing another somewhere else so all in all he didn’t end up all that far ahead.  And the less said about the rest of his round the better.

ChrisV played a good steady round and reports that he left a few out there but he also scored a couple of the birdies.  The nett result was a 67 that won’t do his handicap too much harm and gathers him a handful of points though he is a bit far down the table to be any worry to the front runners.  Just a stroke behind and maybe able to claim a relaxed frame of mind after a holiday, but not gout, to improve his form was Harry who could have been right up there except for some missed but eminently gettable putts.

Then followed as fine a grouping of golfers as you could wish for with Mehm (still without a win), Snags and Bob with a nice round score of 70.  In fifth and last points place, a couple of strokes further back were Zimmer and CraigC.  Chrispy went close to getting another point with a ‘crap’ score (his words) but just missed out by the one.

So, as we get to the pointy end of the season, Ryan still has a healthy lead in the Championship but, with him out of contention for a month, there is a good chance that the gap can be closed and make for some excitement in the lead up to the end of the year.  Gordon’s win today gives him a bit of a lead in the Seniors but he, too, is not impossible to catch and there is a fair group not too far behind so he will have to keep his form and/or his gout if he wants to keep his chances alive.  Pepsi is still dominating the Eclectic and there needs to be some serious birdie making by a few of the front runners if they want to topple him before the year end.

The Nearest the Pin for a ball on the 4th today eventually fell to Noodles.  The jackpot ProPin on the 12th was won by Chrispy at 3.75 m and the positioning can’t have been too good as he took three putts to record a four for the hole.

In the IGL, the draw last week between the Magpies and the Hawks was settled by applying the standard countback procedure using the relevant players scores.  In the event the Hawks (34 points) defeated the Magpies (32 points).  So, the Grand Final came down to a clash between the Hawks and the Tigers.  And, the result of that was that the Hawks (Gordon and AndrewP 137) defeated the Tigers (Brendon and CraigC 156) to win the inaugural Grand Final of the Ivanhoe Golf League.  Perhaps this is an omen for next week at least as far as the Hawks go.

Michael and Trevor will be tucking into cake and soft drink during the week to celebrate a birthday or so the Birthday Birdie says.  Have a nice day chaps.

SOS had to rush off after nine holes to take relief under Rule Number Two and left the rest of the group to finish off the hole on their own.  Not sure whether it was something he ate or drank but he was asking earnestly about supplies of Panadol shortly after.  Perhaps Trev was looking for an early birthday present as he asked whether a high score would make him eligible for a larger handicap relief.  JohnQ was resplendent in a colourful pair of shorts that raised some questions as to whether he was trying to dazzle his opponents or was just in a gay mood.  Whitey had a bit to say about the pin placement on the 12th after having some trouble getting the ball onto the green and into the hole.  Another less than glamorous score on his card was contributed to by the dreaded double hit out of the rough.

Numbers look as if they will be down next week due to the Grand Final and so it will remain a social round for those that turn up.  There will be the inside comp which might be Monthly Medal and a stroke competition and we can put in a pool for a ProPin (or two).  You will score an attendance but your handicap will be quite safe.  The week after will be the first week of the Fred Kitson Spring Cup which is a Par Competition.  Last chance for double points (unless you can win two weeks in a row on regular events) so don’t say you haven’t been warned and you have a chance of catching Ryan.  Or, alternatively, you want to cruel somebody else’s chances of catching Ryan.

Results for Saturday, 26 September 2015
1st Gordon Hill(64) 2nd Chris Vinecombe(67) 3rd Harry Boughen(68) 4th Mehmet Akdag(70) 4th Bob McDonald(70) 4th Craig Sharp(70) 5th Kazim Akdag(72) 5th Craig Cameron(72)