Category Archives: Club News

Who’d have thought that something like a long weekend would have had such an effect on numbers.  Not only were there only thirteen of us, the car park was far from full as well.  There were a few that the winter chill had kept away and maybe the forecast of high probability showers with possible hail accounted for a few more.  And maybe some donned their moleskins and tweed jackets with the leather patches on the elbows, packed the trouble and strife and the tin lids into the Range Rover and headed to Falls for the season opening.  Or not!

The smallish field was no bar to some good scoring though and the man who did his bit towards drying out the fairways, and who is no stranger to a bit of ‘smoke’, was Simon.  In a round that was a personal best on this, and possibly any other course, of 76 off the beater and an impressive +7 points, Simon managed to keep his head down despite some serious attempts to put the mockers on him by his ne’er-do-well playing companions.  Simon, it seemed could do no wrong.  If he was a bit astray getting to the green, he saved the day by putting (not necessarily putt-ing) it in from off the green, wedge or putter, didn’t matter.  Well done Simon and welcome to your new handicap, just where you wanted to be, though you’ll have to work a bit harder for a while to get that Medal that you so desire.

Pepsi is still sporting some bandaging on his knee but it obviously isn’t affecting his golf at all.  He turned at two under par off the stick and plus three points and could easily have repeated the performance on the back but for a couple of aberrations on the 11th and the 14th.  Still a par round, off the stick and +3 points is not to be sneezed at in anybody’s book.  The four birdies on his card helped his Eclectic card along and he is now within striking distance of the leaders.  They also contributed significantly to the Club total of birdies for today of 11 of the little feathery blighters.

Chrispresident was in the first ‘sprint’ group today as he had to get away to drive to Echuca for a footy match, some drinking and some golf (tomorrow – provided he doesn’t overdo it tonight).  So, maybe if he hadn’t been in such a rush he might have scored a bit better on the front nine and gathered himself some more points as a result.  But +2 was enough to get him 3rd place and a minor adjustment to the old handicap.  The new clubs were a topic of conversation again today and one of the stated intentions is to open the shoulders and give them a good work-out at Rich River tomorrow.  Chris also managed to move himself up the Eclectic table today and he is starting to breathe down the necks of the leaders on the main Championship Table.  Not sure whether this holds any significance or not, but all first three place-getters today have surnames that begin with ‘P’.

Harry played a very steady game today and managed squares on 11 of the 18 holes.  The imbalance on the other seven meant that his final total for the round was +1 and that was enough to gather 4th place and a couple of points in both the main event and in the Seniors.  In a bit of a contrast to the last couple of weeks, Seniors made up almost half of the field today.  And, while on the topic of Seniors, another Senior came in 5th spot with a square card and that was Gordon who managed to fit in a round with us in between his real estate dealings and weddings in Fiji and so forth.

The BallPin today was contested on the 15th and there was only one person who really contested the event.  Michael put it within a couple of metres but he didn’t make the putt to contribute to the birdie total and it was fairly obvious that he wasn’t too happy about the fact as the comment on the slip doesn’t bear repeating in polite company.  Whether it was a hangover from the 15th or a similar feeling of disgust about a result on the 16th but Michael was noticed to be well behind his playing group taking multiple practice putts on that green before proceeding to the 17th tee.

The ProPin was on the 12th and our man of the sizzling form could be heard ticking off the list of things that he would be able to afford with the dividend.  But, when the tape was rolled out, the reading was 5.02m, just short of the qualifying distance of 5.00m.  Still, nobody else managed to get within the required distance and so the pool will Jackpot for some lucky punter next week.

Rumour has it that JohnQ was involved is some sort of a romantic interlude on his recent holiday in Bali.  There were hints of moonlight over the palm trees, softly breaking waves, private function rooms, wandering minstrels and personal butler.  A bit unclear what sort of questions were asked and what answers were given, but John did have a bit of a silly grin on his face all day.

It wasn’t Trev’s day today but he strongly denies that he was playing ‘Rap’ which is a game sort of like Par except that you try to score as many minuses as possible.  And, as it turns out, he did not set a new record for the highest negative score although he did go close.  Bob, also, wasn’t particularly high up the rankings today but one of the factors that could have affected his game was the fact that he lost all of the sprigs from his shoes, or maybe even the whole sole, if a late report is any guide.  Maybe time to let the moths out of the wallet if that is the case.

Gordon’s life has been busy of recent times and he is full of stories of the things that he has found hidden away in cupboards as the house unloading has progressed.  He obviously hasn’t found the sugar bags of fivers that he has stashed away as he arrived today without any money and, what is worse, without his usual supply of licorice.

Blighty wasn’t setting the world on fire but he wasn’t going that badly either.  That is until the 13th.  After that he seems to have fallen off some sort of a cliff and didn’t trouble the scorer for the rest of the round.  One of those holes was the 15th at which Andrew suffered the ignominy of putting in a draughtie that was lucky not to be OOB as well.  In what could be a first, Ryan hit the fence on the 14th with his tee shot.  What fence on the 14th, you might ask.  The one that stops you falling off the path down from the tee to the fairway, you might answer.  Whitey was putting like a demon today and single putted five greens in a row on the front nine.  The fact that he turned at -2 would suggest that the rest of the game wasn’t exactly up to par, to coin a phrase.

We have a social event with an Ambrose week after next and we would like to have a good idea of the field before-hand.  So, we would like to know at the earliest your intentions for that day.  Because of the nature of the event, you won’t be able to play the Course Management comp.  A set of rules will be circulated shortly.

The Annual Challenge at Numurkah in August is still open for registration.  Let Gordon know and deposit the registration fee into the Club bank account with your name and Numurkah as the entry for the receiving account.  Lots of novelty events and prizes to be had and a good time is highly likely.  Gordon has promised to behave himself on the Friday night so that everything is in order for the round on Saturday.

The Matchplay semi-final matches have to be played.  JohnQ has to meet up with Laurie and Brendon has to do battle with Rob.  You have until the July MM to get a result finalised one way or another.

Results for Saturday, 11 June 2016
1st Simon Powell(+7) 2nd Andrew Petricola(+3) 3rd Chris Priems(+2) 4th Harry Boughen(+1) 5th Gordon Hill(□)

Seniors Results: 1st Simon Powell (+7) 2nd Harry Boughen (+1) 3rd Gordon Hill (□)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 12th Jackpot BallPin 15th Michael Gourlay

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There were those that thought that today would be a good day for medals and points and there were those that opined that playing to your handicap would stand you in good stead for the top podium spot.  Despite the heavy overcast and drizzling rain, there were sixteen hardy types who turned out to pit themselves against the much softer fairways and water-logged greens.  The casual water on the putting surface of quite a few holes added an extra frisson to the approach shots.  Some managed to pull it off while others pulled up woefully short.

As it turned out it was all as if nothing to our eventual winner who played a very steady round under conditions that could be classified as a bit trying what with the juggling of umbrellas, seeking out the preferred lie and so forth.  Ryan was credited with achieving the unlikeliest of pars on the 8th after his drive did some damage to the pine tree on the left, his second under the big tree by the green, followed by a sublime chip almost to gimme distance.  Not to be outdone he followed up with a chip in for birdie on the 9th from atop the hill at the back of the green.  That was one of three birdies for the round which was but a small part of the 15 that the field managed to card.  Maybe the water-logged greens weren’t so bad after all.  Or maybe they just ran a bit more truely or you knew you had to have a go.  A nett 64 was more than enough to take the medal and to put paid to the idea that matching handicap would be good enough.

Pepsi was back for his first round for a while and it seems that the little procedure on his knee hasn’t done his game any harm.  If he can come back ‘cold’ and run second with a nett 66, then there is some chance that it has actually done some good – perish the thought.  A very nice round and but for a few bogies it could have been even better.  Just a stroke behind was none other than Chrispresident who felt a little left out of it as the only one in his group that did not break 40 on the front nine.  He pulled his socks up on the back though and for a little while he had visions of having a chance to do a Bradbury – again.

There were loud cheers all round when the next two place-getters were announced – mainly from the two people involved.  Anybody would think than Mehm and SOS hadn’t come a place for absolute ages the way they carried on like pork-chops.  But, any points are good points, and maybe Mehm will be able to put in another year without a first place to his name.  And, he is within striking distance of the leaders.  Playing to their handicap obviously wasn’t enough for a win but the handicap is unchanged so there is always next week.

Now, this week, there were some Seniors in the points table with Bob and Simon holding up the trophy for the Seniors side.  They were joined by Rob to get a point each in the main table as well.  As for last week, every Senior in the field scored points in the Seniors Championship.  Gordo will be disappointed after he had to opt out of playing today due to feeling ‘poorly’ though some unkind souls did suggest that it was because the Cats had lost a couple of games on the trot.

Rob and Bob played their match today and it was a very close match as it turned out.  They played 15 holes before there was a margin greater that one hole either way.  At this point Rob had found a bit of form and looked to have the best of it but a square on the 16th meant that the match went dormie.  It seems that Targe suggested that Rob, now ‘could not lose’ though he obviously forgot about the potential vagaries of a chip-off in the event of a square result after the 18th.  Rob, took him at his word and opened his shoulders on the 17th and promptly sprayed it out of bounds and handed a win on the hole to Bob.  He gathered his composure and made his par on the 18th to seal the victory 2 up.  The four semi-finalists are now decided and they have a month to play to decide who advances to the final and who plays off for the minor placings.

The BallPin today was on the 4th and quite remarkably, nobody managed to get a ball onto the green to claim the goodies.  Still, if one group was any guide with one duff and three provisionals maybe it wasn’t so surprising after all.  Could also help to explain the glacial pace of progress around the course though the drizzle and the preferred lie thing and discussions about relief from casual water and GUR probably also contributed.  Today was the first run of the double dollars for the ProPin on Monthly Medal days and the 18th was the nominated hole for the event.   This green, too, showed signs of being unworried about being impaled by the marker ball spike until Harry came along and managed to sneak his in to 4.900m which was just enough to qualify for the event and, in the end, more than enough to collect the dividend.

Simon obviously didn’t take advantage of the preferred lie rule today because, if he had, he might have noticed that the ball that he hit actually belonged to ChrisV.  That sort of thing doesn’t do wonders for the score-line.  Matt was going gang-busters almost until he got onto the green on the 13th.  Maybe it was his triskaidecaphobia but some sort of demon seems to have entered his body and he managed to take ten strokes more than par over the next four holes.  Pepsi was all for conducting an exorcism on the spot but something must have been effective and a couple of threes on the last two holes eased the pain a little, if not entirely.

Bob has been playing this course for something like twenty-five years and so you would reckon that there is not a spot that he wouldn’t have seen at some time.  That’s not the case, it seems, as Bob was adamant today that he visited parts of the course that he never had before.  His short game was obviously a bit off as he was heard berating himself when a pitch from 50m out missed the hole and finished half a metre away.

Brendon’s second on the 1st was a little awry and he finished in the fairway of the 2nd.  After waiting for the 2nd tee to clear, his chip was a little over-done and by all the laws of physics it should have finished well past the hole, if not off the green.  A handful of gum leaves intervened and the ball dropped to the green and finished less than a metre from the hole.

Some of the more gentlemanly members of the Club, apparently, chose to leave their ball in the hole when it was full of water to avoid plunging the water out onto the green for the next player to negotiate.  It seems that some of our less gentlemanly members did not reciprocate and had no qualms about flooding the hole surrounds with a surge of water while retrieving their ball.

Nominations and payments for the Annual Challenge Weekend at Numurkah are open.  If you haven’t read your e-mails then there is every chance that you don’t know what this is all about.  So, if you want to know what is going on about the Club, read the ruddy mail.

We are trying to have an Ambrose Event on the 25 June to mark the passing of the Solstice.  Ideally, we would like to draw teams before-hand so we would like to get firm commitments for that date, preferably by the 18th and certainly no later that 20th.  The rules of the game will be posted shortly.

Results for Saturday, 04 June 2016
1st Ryan Porker(64) 2nd Andrew Petricola(66) 3rd Chris Priems(67) 4th Mehmet Akdag(68) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan(68) 5th Bob McDonald(70) 5th Simon Powell(70) 5th Robert Priems(70)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (70) 1st Simon Powell (70) 2nd Harry Boughen (72) 3rd Targe Mifsud (77)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 18th Harry Boughen BallPin 4th Jackpot

Firstly, there is just a small matter to correct from last week.  It was erroneously reported last week that the reason that Stef did not have a trophy to heft was because the Real Priems couldn’t bear to be parted from it.  It seems that the honourable editor caught the disease from JohnQ and confused the Winter Cup with the Autumn Cup and the real culprit for the absence of the trophy was none other than Stef himself.  Belated congrats to Stef for back-to-back wins and apologies to Rob for casting nasturtiums.

Enough of that.  Now for the annals of the nineteen players who made it out on to the slightly damp course at Ivanhoe this morning.  The weather was quite chilly to start with and the short sleeves and shorts were not quite so much in evidence. A number of people were hunched over like half open pocket knives and jostling for the slivers of sunlight that were filtering through onto the first tee.  The predicted showers did arrive about half way through the back nine and really only served to put Brendon off his eagle putt on the 14th and cause some inconvenience juggling wet weather gear and umbrellas.  A hole later and you would hardly have known that it had rained.

The weather certainly wasn’t cold enough to re-freeze Michael’s shoulder(s) and he was able to reel off six birdies on his way to his 36 points to take out the first place in the field.  Not a bad tally out of a total of fourteen birdies for the whole field though the scoreline does suggest that the other twelve holes were rather more variable in outcome.  However, in the process, he only managed to improve his eclectic card by one stroke and so Brendon remains at the head of the field but his birdies were ineffective in improving his position and the lead remains the slimmest of margins.

Both Rob and SOS reckoned that they should have done better than their 35 points and a couple of serious gashes on each of the cards confirmed that this was the case.  In the event, their scores were enough to settle second place behind Michael.  They were joined by George who managed to reach the same score with seven singletons on the card.  A significant difference in totals between the front and back suggests that it took a while for him to warm up.

Brendon could perhaps claim to have been distracted by his match against Harry.  The fortunes in the match oscillated over the first nine with the form of both going through alternating purple and brown patches that left Brendon down one at the turn.  However, Brendon hit his straps on the back nine and finished the job on the 15th, 4 and 3, while Harry’s form continued up and down like a bride’s nightie, all but ruling out his chances to stem the flow.  In another ‘coulda’, Brendon managed not to score a point on the 18th and the violins played Waltzing Matilda.  Whilst on the subject of Matchplay. Rob and Bob have next week to play their match or to agree a result one way or another.  We would hate to see a walkover at this late stage in the event though.

Noodles was in the last group and joined in with Mehmet trying to bait certain members of the group in front about slow play.  If it was slow, it must have given him time to think about his shots as he managed to come in 4th with 32 points.  We haven’t seen Sharpie for a while as he struggles with a foot problem that requires him to use a cart and so it was that he shared with Stef today.  It’s rumoured that he has had a chance to play at other locations in recent times but he was still asking whether he could get himself re-handicapped by putting in three new cards.  Obviously, the request was completely unfounded as he was able to get himself a spot on the podium.  However, by forgetting that he actually got a stroke on the 18th, he managed to tip poor old Chrispresident out of the shared glory of 5th place.  Maybe next time Chris.

Now for some shattering news.  For the first time in who knows how long, there was not a Senior on the podium today.  In actual fact, there were only three Seniors in the whole field and so Harry, Targe and Simon collected the goodies in that department.  In other goodies news,  Michael got beaten out of both of the pin comps today.  The BallPin ended up going to SOS on the 4th and on the 15th, Targe managed to put it to 3.5m to gather the ProPin.  And, while on the topic of the ProPin, the Committee decided that the Club would put an extra dollar per head into the ProPin pool on Monthly Medal days.  The comp fee will remain the same for qualified members but the ProPin fee for Social rounds on MM days will go up to $2.  So, another reason to turn up next week.

Damo didn’t feature in the prize list today and maybe it was because he was a bit shell shocked.  George shanked one off the 8th tee and it whistled past Damo coming down the 7th.  He might have had time to recover from that by the time he got to the 17th.  But, Rob was trying to repeat his eagle effort from last week to round out the dozen and went close again as the green had not yet been cleared.  Perhaps a little less enthusiasm is required.

Without seeming to want to pick on Damien, he was one contributor to the collection of draughties today.  He managed one on the 11th, ChrisV saved his for the 14th and Harry followed closely on the 15th.  Not a bad tally at all but not a record we should be trying to emulate.

After some discussions about who was next to putt, a proposal was put forward that there should be a new measure of length to replace the metre.  Hence forward, all putts will be measured using the new length standard, the Targe.  To celebrate, Targe managed to sink a three Targe putt on the 17th.  Representations will be made to the R & A and the ISO to have this decision ratified.

The Birthday Birdie is going to be terribly out of condition with no good wishes to be dispensed for quite a little while so he will just take it easy in his little armchair with his blanket over his knees until he needs to stretch his wings again.

Simon is still open to receiving information from members on shirt sizings but if you don’t nominate and your size runs out after the order is received you might just have to breathe in or swim in it depending on what is left.

Don’t forget that nominations are open for the Annual Challenge weekend at Numurkah from 19-21 August.  Let Gordon know and transfer the necessary funds into the Club bank account (full fee only, no deposit, refundable with suitable notice).  Details are on the dodger that was circulated and bank details are also on the web-site under Contacts.

We have an Ambrose scheduled for later in June.  This will be a social round on 25 June to celebrate the passing of the Solstice and the start of longer days and/or the astronomical start of winter.  Because of the game format, members will not be able to play in the inside comp or submit cards for GL handicapping purposes.  This event requires that we have the tee groups planned in advance so that the handicap distribution is fair and, if possible, the groups are equal in size.  So, we really do need to have a firm indication of your intention to play in this event well beforehand.  Certainly no later that 20 June so that the necessary calculations can be made.

Results for Saturday, 28 May 2016
1st Michael Gourlay(36) 2nd Robert Priems(35) 2nd Stephen O’Sullivan(35) 2nd George Tenaglia(35) 3rd Brendon Mitchell(33) 4th Stephen Butterfield(32) 5th Craig Sharp(31)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (29) 2nd Targe Mifsud (28) 3rd Simon Powell (24)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 15th Targe Mifsud BallPin 4th Stephen O’Sullivan

So much for having the playing groups all plotted out in advance based on the leader board and those doing the right thing and advising their intentions for today’s frivolities.  Still we did manage to get twenty good souls out on the course to fight it out for the honour of hefting the trophy at the end of the day.  That is, of course, if the trophy had been there to be hefted.  There was a conversation by the bar-be-que while waiting for the field to come in about who had won the event last year and who would have been responsible for unsticking it from their games room bar and bringing it back after living in the reflected glory for the past twelve months.  Well it seems that it was the Real Priems was the one that had that honour and the Real Priems was one of those involved in the conversation.  Didn’t own up though.

Stef did say that he was going to come back and steal away our Championship points and as it turned out he had a somewhat easier task of it after JohnQ had to withdraw as a result of some pressing engagements in some tropical clime or another where, as well as working, he was going to be working on his tan as well.  And so it was that an aggregate of -1 was enough to collect the trophy.  Stef was helped along the way by having Noodles driving the cart for him and so it was quite easy for him to rack up at least three of the 17 birdies that were carded today.  That would have to be one of our best birdie ratios for quite some time.  Noodles, on the other hand seemed to have been put off by the great responsibility of the task and he was heard to be talking very severely to some of his equipment, if not worse.

Interestingly enough, the three people who tied for second place all had an overall score of -2.  But more of that later.  CraigC put in a very steady round and did his Eclectic no harm at all by putting together another three of our birdie tally.  Whitey defied the taunts that were flying during the week and came in well short of his ‘tonne’ to put in one of the better daily cards today with +2.  He was only bettered in that regard by Joe who managed to take the daily honour with +3.  Perhaps a pity that Joe chose a free round elsewhere last week rather than joining us.  Damo put together a pretty impressive string of squares during the round today but he was obviously fumbling around for the Butter Menthols on the last two holes and pretty much cruelled himself for getting the main prize.

Gordo is in the process of changing his place of abode and is having a big clear-out.  The golf clubs won’t be going for the high jump just yet as he managed to hang in there to get himself some points for third place with a score of -3.  Mehmet played to his handicap to mount the podium alongside Gordon.  Gordon had to rush off after the game and the possible excuses are the impending move or the need to get spruced up for his Birthday bash tonight.  And in keeping with the birthday theme, the Birthday Birdie will be visiting Targe later this week.

There was only one person in 4th place and that was Michael with a score of -4.  Are you beginning to see the trend yet?  There were two players in 5th place and they were Brendon and Laurie.  And, can you guess what the score was that got them their 5th spot.  Go to the top of the class if you reckoned that it was -5, because you would be exactly right.  What odds the absolute values of the aggregate score matching the places in the field.

As for the rest, there is always next year.

Harry often reckons that taking a par on the first is a bad sign for what is to come.  Imagine what the consequences could be if you birdied it.  That’s exactly what he did by chipping in.  The rest of the front nine had its moments.  Just as an example, the drive on the 4th hit the red tee marker, ricocheted high and far enough to hit the big tree on the left and finished in the mini forest to the left of the green.  Rob didn’t have any such trouble on the 17th when his tee shot grounded about 1.5 m shy of the hole and pulled up short to give a pretty easy putt for the eagle.  And so the Eagles Nest didn’t quite get to the full dozen but, hey, who’s counting other than the poor old Eagle.  That certainly gave Rob’s Eclectic card a bit of a boost and he is now inside a single birdie away from our long term leader Brendon.  Harry’s two birdies today (both from chips) has moved him up into 3rd place but a little way back from the front runners.

The ProPin today was on the 4th and it wasn’t much of a contest as there was only one name of the ticket with a distance of 2.24m.  That little honour went to Joe who, as a matter of interest also went close to making an eagle today on the 3rd when he left his second shot mere millimetres from the hole.  The BallPin was on the 12th and our Joe was pipped out of scooping the pool by Targe.

Despite Whitey’s good round today he did have one moment where he tried to play a draw around a tree.  He freely admits that he can’t play a draw.  Anyway, the ball hit the tree dead centre and rocketed back to hit his buggy that was parked some metres behind.  Needless to say, that is one hole where he didn’t make a score.  Mehm also had his moments today despite playing some good golf.  So good in fact that he was moved to say that at times like those he can forget  that he is a s#%t golfer.  Probably after sinking one of a number of monster putts.  On the 18th, a skinnied chip from a short drive somehow hit the swale (or something) on the green, popped up in the air and finished near enough to the hole to give him the easiest of pars.  Mehm put it down to the high amount of backspin.  From a skinnied shot – tell ‘im he’s dreamin’.

Paul Jones joined us today and put in his first card.  Paul has been away from golf for a while and he was a bit nervous on the first but as it turns out he got away quite safely from the gallery.  Still, there were signs there that he knows how to handle a golf club so I am sure we will be seeing more of Paul once he gets his swing back in order.  Welcome, Paul, and we look forward to seeing you on the tee again soon and then in competition when you get your qualifying cards in.

Simon is still after indications of shirt size from a number of members.  If you don’t get on his list, the order will be made up with estimates and we would hate to see you stuck with anything either too big or, heaven forbid, too small.

Results for Saturday, 21 May 2016
1st Stefan Belevski(□, -1, -1) 2nd Rodney White(-4, +2, -2) 2nd Damien Lee(-2, □, -2) 2nd Craig Cameron(-3, +1, -2) 3rd Mehmet Akdag(-3, □, -3) 3rd Gordon Hill(-1, -2, -3) 4th Michael Gourlay(-3, -1, -4) 5th Brendon Mitchell(-2, -3, -5) 5th Laurie Mannix(-3, -2, -5)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (+1,-3,-2) 2nd Gordon Hill (-2,-1,-3) 3rd Laurie Mannix (-2,-3,-5)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 4th Joe Wagenecht BallPin 12th Targe Mifsud

Eagle’s nest Results: Eagle 17th Robert Priems