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Santa Claus is Coming to Town – or maybe not – after 24 December 2016
As unlikely as it might have seemed after some of last week’s shenanigans and the date on the calendar, the turn up today wasn’t too bad. We certainly had enough numbers to have an official competition and there were a couple of people who were wishing that it had been. But more of that later. So, ten happy little vegemites headed out onto the nicely manicured Ivanhoe course to try their hand without the pressure of needing to score points (of the Championship sort – no limitations on the other type) or fears of the wrath of the handicapper. The round hadn’t progressed too far when the angels started their ten-pin bowling championship and Zeus (or Thor) started hurling down bolts from on high. The siren across the river sounded and a sweet sounding lady exhorted people to cease play. There was a short hiatus while weather radar was consulted and as the worst of it appeared to be passing to the south the decision was taken to press on. There were one or two more nervous moments but everybody held up their one irons and the rest of the round passed without incident from that quarter.
So, after all the excitement, how did everybody play. Mostly reasonably well. The best card on the day was from DennisT who managed to get himself 39 points and this after complaining that he was having trouble getting a two pointer on his card. In fact, it took him eight holes but with four threes and three ones to that point, he was still ahead of the game. So it looks as if Dennis is getting the Darklands out of his system and getting his swing back in order just in time for the concert and the soccer season to get going and then it’s back to the footy. No rest for the wicked. And no golf for the Menace.
Following closely behind Dennis was the other Dennis(W) and Harry who both managed to get to 38 points. Their totals both included four pointers. Dennis got his on the 7th with a par and two strokes on the hole and on that hole the group scored ten points between the three of them. No bad going. Harry’s was on the 17th and he was heard to bemoan the fact that it wouldn’t be counted for the Eclectic. However, that was small change compared to Noodles, who managed to land an eagle on the 6th, so he missed out on both the Eclectic and the Eagles Nest. No balls for Noodles.
There were two ProPins today. The first was on the 4th and a couple of people did manage to get it onto the cut portion of the green. The one who got the closest was Dale. The second ProPin was on the 18th and it seems that there were any number of people who ‘almost’ got onto the dance floor but ‘not quite’. In the end, Chrispresident made an executive decision and awarded both dividends to Dale for his effort in getting closest on the 4th.
Chrispy, we are happy to report, has retrieved his clubs from the safe-keeping of the Pro Room at the course. They didn’t pick up any good tips while they were there though. Chris was credited with a draughtie on the 15th although he was trying to use the SOS defence that the ball wasn’t actually seen not to get past the red markers. Still, he can’t have been going two well if he only managed to get two points in six holes as he claimed after the round. Whether it was the prospect of a beer afterwards or he was just in a frisky mood but Noodles tried for a Happy Gilmour from the 16th. The result was not particularly ‘happy’
Brent lost a ball on the 17th when he played a shot for the green. The group in front were not aware of any incoming so it is unclear whether it finished in the drink (short) or in the drink (long). It was reported, however, that the group had lost four balls in five holes to that point. Damien also lost a ball on the 17th when he over-clubbed it and it finished in the long grass on the far side of the fairway. He made a few desultory slashes at the grass with his wedge but opted not to venture too far into the jungle when suddenly a tiger snake with a head ‘as big as an alsatian’ took off in the other direction. Damo did a leap backwards and almost ended up riding piggy-back on Chrispy.
Now it seems that there has been a bit of a saga with a ‘shonky’ five dollar note over the last few weeks. Apparently, Porks used it to pay (half) his comp fee a few weeks back and despite the Treasurer’s best efforts he was unable to return the favour. As a result, it got mixed up in the ProPin dividend that DennisT won last week. In a fit of generosity, Dennis handed over the loot to his better half as an early Christmas present and when she found the half note, she gave him what for and chucked it in the bin (the half note, not the rest of the loot).
Also from last week, it seems that Brendon dashed off to attend an auction for a house that he would have liked to buy. He didn’t get a look in edge-wise as the first two bids put it well out of his range and he made his way back to the club with his jaw dragging on the ground about that sort of price being paid for a house in Watsonia. Obviously, the best house in the best street. Still, he went off to the pub with a group of others and drowned his sorrows with a few cold and frothies. Chrispy might have done the same as he reckons he doesn’t remember too much about it. Maybe it had something to do with the Fat Yaks at the break-up because it was noted that the Fat Yak was out of favour today and Mid-Strength was back.
There are a few spots booked for next week for those that wish to partake of a social round of golf. As for this week, there will be a couple of ProPins and no attention from the handicapper. To clarify a point, social rounds do count towards attendance for Monthly Medal qualification. The January Monthly medal will be on the 7th so, if you have missed a few weeks and would like to qualify for that, get yourself along.
If you haven’t paid your subscription for next year yet, could we suggest that you do so as soon as possible because the club would prefer not to have to ‘carry’ you for too long with the GolfLink payment to the VGL due on 14th January. You know who you are and so do we.
What’s better – a Champ or a Chump? An Answer from 17th December 2016
Another great year of very competitive golf has come and gone and it was fitting to finsh it off with a contest for the Stuart Clarke Champion of Champions between those that had managed to keep their heads down and win a trophy during the year. For those who were not quite so lucky , or maybe didn’t keep their heads down, there was a very fine consolation to be sought in the Chump of Chumps.
There were seventeen members eligible to contest the Champion of Champions and on the day 13 of those made it to play the event. Ten more turned up to cheer them along and to try their hand at picking up the (marginally) lesser trophy. The weather was fine and the course was in good nick so, it might be expected that there was some good scoring to be had.
And, how did our Champions do? Well, our new Club Champion did very nicely, thank you, and garnered himself yet another trophy by coming in with a grand total of 35 points of the Stableford variety. Well done, the Beast. Not far behind was another star who just about needed a trailer to cart home his loot from the year’s proceedings. Well done, Michael with your 33 points. Michael didn’t have the spot on his lonesome. he was joined by a couple of others in the persons of Ryan and our esteemed President, Chrispy.
Now there are a couple of rumours out and about relating to Chrispresident. The first is that he has taken quite a liking to Fat Yak because looking at the label reminds him of looking in a mirror. And, whether it was down to the quantity of said Fat Yak that was consumed, there is also a rumour that he left his clubs behind. Happily, they have been safely stored and he will be able to collect them next week.
Now, we get to the question of how did the Chumps go on the day. Well, you would have to believe it that they showed the Champs a thing or two. Leading out by a goodly margin was none other than ‘I only play like this when the handicapper can’t touch me’ Priems (aka Rob). Rob fairly took the course apart and romped home with a casual 44 points. He went darned close to matching par on the front nine for 25 points. However, that performance was put into the shade a little by Rod, who managed to put together 26 points on the back nine as part of his total of 40 points. Who said they were Chumps.
The ProPin was on one of the par threes and DennisT was the one who got close enough at 3.1m to take it out and collect the cash. So, with the Jackpot, that was a nice little earner for Dennis. He might be able to afford to give up a shift at the Darklands at this rate. The BallPin was on another one of the par threes (it is assumed) and you would have to ask, what odds? when the winner was the other menace (oops – Dennis) in the club. Anyone for Dennis?
Gordon is laying claim to being the second (that we know of) member to par the 2nd from the back tee but the occasion brings to mind the old question – who was the second man on the moon? Still he also did manage a chip in for par and a couple of birdies in his round so he probably had reason to be pleased with his handicap matching round. Plus, he was the only one of the four in his group that managed to hole out on the 17th.
A few others had some bad turns on the way around. Perhaps Brendon was looking forward to his night out at the Ivanhoe Hotel or perhaps he had one the night before. A less than stellar start on the first was followed by a scrabbly second. From there things went really pear-shaped and there is a suggestion that three drives from the 3rd finished out of bounds. To add insult to injury, the 4th fared little better with the single drive unable to be found. Brendon wasn’t alone in flirting with the boundary fences, having tackled it again on the 8th, and Targe managed to put his out on the 17th.
As reported last week, Stefan had a birthday and it seems that he might have celebrated again as he was a little the worse for wear and headed off without staying for the Christmas Lunch and Presentations. A fine repast was prepared by the ladies in the kitchen and the groaning table was tackled with gusto and thoroughly enjoyed by all.
After the lunch, our Club Captain, Targe and President, Chris, combined to make the presentation of trophies for the year. Now some have suggested that this combination was somewhat akin to Cheech and Chong, except that Cheech and Chong were funny (or at least mildly amusing). Regardless, there were heaps of goodies to be handed out and Simon did a great job of getting the happy snaps and the collection will be posted as a slide show on the website in due course. The full list of winners is too long to list here but if you go to the Statistics>Hall of Fame page and select the 2016 link you will be able to peruse the full listing.
The next two weeks (Christmas Eve and New Year Eve) are available as social rounds and a few tee slots have been booked. The competition will be ‘as you like it’ but might best match the competition of the day at the Course. Usually there is a ProPin (or two) between whoever plays.
Other than that, have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and come back refreshed for the January Monthly Medal on 7th January. By the way, subscriptions for 2017 are now overdue so pay up or else the committee will get angry and start pestering you in earnest.
The Race was run and the best horse won the Vin O’Meara Stakes on 10 December 2016
The question on everybody’s lips was – could the trio of oldies hogging the top of the leader board keep it up or could any of the young bucks come from behind to steal the prize. And there were twenty three sets of lips out on the course just twitching to find out what the result would be. Though it was a bit overcast and quite cool to start with, the weather gods were kind and the course was manicured within an inch of its life. The white markers were out (on the concrete blocks) and so there was little doubt about where to tee up your ball though some did raise their eye-brows at the blue markers that were behind the whites. At least one person started to tee up at one of the sets of back blue markers but his kind playing companions apprised him of the disadvantage of doing so. Not much was said about the blue markers that were well in front of the whites. In any case, there should be no cause for voiding of results this week though some would argue that there was really little need for it to have been done after last weeks little mix-up.
The answer to the burning question was a yes and a no. Yes, at least a couple of the leaders managed to keep it together sufficiently to maintain or improve their position and one of the young bucks was able to claw his way up the ladder and in the process displace one. The man who held onto his spot was CraigC (Bagpipe Chanter – purchased by Brendon) who seems to have adapted to his recent handicap adjustments and has been putting in some very consistent rounds. Today was a little off the pace and a little attack of the shorts and the hint of a yip or two on the greens was almost, but not quite, enough to let the trophy slip from his grasp. A grand total of 136 strokes for the two rounds was enough (just) to get his hands on the first Major trophy of the year, the Vin O’Meara Memorial aka the Christmas Cup.
The next horse to cross the line was Armpits (owned by the Beast and also known affectionately as Bobbie) and if you looked at his front nine you could be forgiven for imagining that he had faded from the race. However, he stormed home down the straight and, but for a couple of putts that didn’t run quite the way he expected, he could easily have been the one to cause the upset and snatch the prize. As it was, he lost by just a nose with a total of 137. And to think that his major concern from the first tee was to get past the red markers.
As the round progressed, rumours began to circulate around the course that the new horse on the block, Proper Car (purchased by Trev), ridden by the bearded yankee, Joe, was the one that was likely to make a challenge from the pack at the back. The connections tried to hose down the expectations with the news that a slight wheel wobble had set in at the 17th with an errant ball out of bounds but even with the double bogie, the nett score of 66 for the day and a total of 138 was enough to secure the third spot in the field. That was enough to tip out Strong Bough, ridden by Harry (the leading player in the Jockey pool) who had just enough rough spots after being hexed by having a par on the first to slip into 4th place with 139 for the event.
And so the first event of the year ended up with as few points getters as is possible with the final points spot being filled by Targe who really laid the whip into Rough Runner to score one of the best performances of the day with a nett 65 and a total of 140 for the event. So a very closely fought result it was for the premier event of the new competition year and everybody would have to be very happy with the double batch of points if not the new handicaps that some have acquired.
The other major event that was finalised today was the annual Stroke Play Championship. In the off-the-stick side of the table, the eventual winner was Michael who managed to equal the course par today with a very creditable two under on the back nine for a total of 219 for the three rounds. Pepsi had an uncharacteristic round today with no less that six fives in a row on the back nine and this was enough to drop him back into second place with 226. A couple of lengths further back in third came the Beast with a tally of 235 of the best. On the Nett Score side of the table, first spot went to Harry, who, although he slipped a bit today, didn’t slip quite as much as the likely contenders and he came in a comfortable winner with a nett total of 203 strokes. Second cab off the rank and shooting up the listings with his best equalling round today of 65 was our friend the Beast on 208 strokes. In equal third place on 209 were CraigC and Bob keeping up the standard with all positions being filled by Senior members. Come on Juniors, get your act together.
The BallPin today was on the 18th and that was won by the Beast who could very well be the only person to get on the green with a distance recorded as 4.96m. Presumably it was measured for the inside ProPin. Our ProPin was on the 15th and in the spirit of Christmas goodwill, nobody got on, or at least not close enough, so that there will be a Jackpot ProPin for the breakup day next week. All the more reason to come along for the Champion of Champions, the Chump of Chumps and the Christmas Lunch and Presentations. Bill didn’t get his birdie on the 18th but Michael did and thus he contributed to the 17 that we racked up for the day.
Now, according to the Birthday Birdie, Stefan’s birthday is almost a week away but it seems that Stefan was out celebrating the event last night until the wee small hours. There were estimates that his BAC was still 0.24 when he teed off and maybe that could go some way to explaining his placing well down the field. Zimmer wasn’t far behind so maybe he was out celebrating as well though somebody did have to drive the car to the course and they didn’t have Mehm to help out.
There was one reported draughtie today and that was from Ryan on the 8th after his ball hit a tree and ricocheted back behind the red markers which, it must be said were well forward. Ryan also had a chance to rob the Eagles Nest on the 17th but he ended up taking three putts to register his par. Chrispy was heard to go ‘duck’ hunting on the 12th after the ball refused to fall into the hole. Whether it was three putts or four is not known at this stage.
Next week is the Champion of Champions for those who have won Medals or Majors during the year and the Chump of Chumps for those who have remained off that exalted list. After the round is the Christmas lunch, that will include such luxuries as turkey, lamb , ham, veges and salads. There will also be a tab on the bar for drinks. After lunch will be the presentation of trophies for those who have excelled at the noble sport through the year. A group of members are planning to continue afterwards at the Ivanhoe Hotel in Upper Heidelberg Road and anybody else who wishes to join will be more than welcome. Rock on!
The following two Saturdays (Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve) will be available as social days but if you can indicate your intentions so that we can make a booking or not, that would be really appreciated by us and the Course Management.
In the meantime have a Happy and safe Christmas and New Year. Don’t party too hard and come back fit and refreshed for the new round of competition starting with the January Monthly Medal on 07 January 2017.
Results for Saturday, 10 December 2016
1st Craig Cameron(65, 71, 136) 2nd Bob McDonald(69, 68, 137) 3rd Joe Wagenecht(72, 66, 138) 4th Harry Boughen(67, 72, 139) 5th Targe Mifsud(75, 65, 140)
Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (71,65,136) 2nd Bob McDonald (68,69,137) 3rd Harry Boughen (72,67,139)
Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 15th Jackpot BallPin 18th Bill Eastoe
Vin O’Meara Strokes Again – Round 1 on 03 December 2016
Despite what some members think, we have not been playing stroke competition for five weeks in a row. We’ve only had three rounds in five weeks and next week will make four in six unless, of course you also count the Champion of Champions but that is not a points round so it doesn’t really count. What really does count is that there were 24 enthusiastic jockeys out there today, whipping the living daylights out of their respective steeds in the Vin O’Meara Stakes. And a fat lot of good the whipping did some of them. Some of them probably even backed up in the shafts if the scores are anything to go by. The tees were on the black blocks for the inside Monthly Medal and start of their stroke play championship and some of the pin placements were a bit on the tricky side again. Pepsi claimed that in 25 years he hadn’t seen the some of the pin placements that were on the go today. The course was in good nick again and was pretty thoroughly mowed all over so there were really very few excuses for not getting out there and scoring your heart out.
And, despite the earlier suggestion of less than optimal scoring there were a few who were able to hold their game together and table scores that were pretty respectable to say the least. The first jockey to step up to the scales for weigh-in was CraigC who started off going gang-busters to be a couple under the card two thirds of the way into the first nine. Then fears of the wrath of the handicapper took over and he settled down, some unkind types would say he was playing choke rather than stroke, to come in with a nett score of 65 from his 75 off the stick. Just a couple of strokes further back and seriously ruing a couple of triples and a quadruple was Harry who, on the advice of the owner, will be relaxing with hypnosis, yoga, acupuncture with maybe a smidge of practice thrown in during the week.
Now, will you look at who is coming in next. None other than Bob, who complained vehemently about how badly he was playing but, at the end of the day, his 26 handicap brought him in with a nett score of 69 and easily within striking distance of the trophy if he can repeat the performance next week. There are a few people biding their time a few strokes back on 72 and they are by no means out of consideration given the talent involved and their past history on the trophy winning front. Brendon reckoned last week that he hadn’t scored a point for seven weeks so there is a good chance that could change very shortly. Chrispy reckons that he is just getting the feel for the distance with his new clubs and he is thinking of asking Callaway for a commission for all the sets that have been bought on his recommendation. And Joe really wants to get his name into the Hall of Fame but he was spotted giving the ball a bit of a ‘chunk’ at one stage of the round. His putt on the 18th deflected off Simon’s ball marker and finished in the hole for the birdie so if Joe wins perhaps Simon should get a cut.
Blighty has been on again, off again like a motion sensitive flood light and he hopes to be in the game again next week. Gordon had some problems keeping the ball on the green today and he reckons that somebody must have stolen the ball magnets that he usually puts in place to keep his on the green. Dale was also a bit doubtful about his ability to compete both days but, with something of a chance to take up the slack, he is making a concerted effort to be here again next week. If you want to see how the rest went have a look at the leaderboard under the Competitions Menu.
The Eclectic Table was notable today for the fact that everybody ‘improved’ though it was the first round of the new year. The early birdies are always welcome but the more you get, the harder it is to improve as the year progresses. But, better sooner than never!
This was also the second week of the Stroke Play Championship and the progress results are also on the website under the Competitions Menu. Although Pepsi had a bit of trouble finding the hole he did manage to get one of the 15 birdies scored today. That was on the 17th where he carefully layed up his drive to the front slope of the 18th green. From a downhill/sidehill lie he put it 3 or 4 metres past the hole and proceeded to rattle in the putt for the only birdie on his card for the day. That helped him to maintain his lead in the Gross Score half of the event with Michael slipping a bit further behind today in second place. On the Nett Score side of the Table, Harry has a handy lead by dint of his two good rounds thus far and Pepsi heads up a fair pack of players in second and later places.
The ProPin today was on the 12th and Michael, with the highlight shot of his round (according to him) managed to squeeze out Harry by nearly a couple of metres at 2.58m from the pin. Not to be out-done for the BallPin on the 15th Michael managed to out-do Pepsi and added to his growing collection of balls. At least Pepsi was able to get something out of today’s round through a double of draughties by Bob and Harry on the 3rd. Harry tried to argue that as it was a Provisional ball it didn’t count but when the Provisional became the ball-in-play he had to resign himself to his fate. Trevor also had to make a shout when he ‘skied’ his tee shot from the 18th so high that it hit the tree branch above and finished so close that his playing partners feared for their well-being. The ‘official’ measurement was that the ball finished 6m from where it started.
Speaking of shouting, it was noticeable today that there were instances of people shouting ‘Duck’ or at least a word spelled somewhat similarly. Michael could well have been one of the offenders as there were also reports of equipment abuse after he had used up his handicap allowance after about three holes. Zimmer was another who used up his handicap allowance early in the round which might explain why he offered the information that a ball was ‘in the water’ but nothing more that might have allowed it to be found.
When asked how his round went today, Targe offered the little gem that he came up short at least three times today. And everybody probably thought that he always came up short. While on the subject of short, ChrisV was there after the game with a couple of the reasons that he has been short of sleep in recent times. A double decker panzer-wagen containing the two peacefully sleeping cherubs that Chris has the hide to claim keep him awake at all hours of the night. Come on Chris, toughen up. As a side note, quite a number of members were spotted doing a bit of pram peeping. Who said we weren’t a mob of softies?
Because of a couple of late scratchings, the Vin O’Meara Stakes pool has reduced to $1545. First dividend will be $927, second $464 and third $154. Most jockeys have opted to share the dividends and it will be up to the purchaser to make sure that their jockey gets their fair share. And, undoubtedly, the jockeys will be doing the same thing. The fixed price pool comes to $325 winner take all so definitely worth playing for.
If there are still any perpetual trophies out there on the loose can you please get them to Gordon this weekend so that they will be available for presentation, if not engraved, at the Christmas break-up. Also Gordon would like to get firm numbers for the break-up so that the catering can be finalised to ensure that there is neither too little nor too much. So, for goodness sake, read your emails and reply.
Results for Saturday, 03 December 2016
Leaderboard Round 1 1st Craig Cameron(65) 2nd Harry Boughen(67) 3rd Bob McDonald(69) 4th Brendon Mitchell(72) 4th Chris Priems(72) 4th Joe Wagenecht(72) 5th Andrew Blight(73) 5th Gordon Hill(73) 5th Dale Webb(73)
Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Craig Cameron (65) 2nd Harry Boughen (67) 3rd Bob McDonald (69)
Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 12th Michael Gourlay BallPin 15th Michael Gourlay