Category Archives: Club News

Before tee time, Damo asked of the assembled 15 members what would be a winning score.  When 39 was suggested, Damo was a little surprised and posited that he thought 35 or 36 would be the upper limit.  Everybody had chosen their three clubs with all sorts of reasons for the choice ranging from professional advice through to it was dark so the first three that came to hand.  Extra-club Eddie was spotted with four clubs in his bag and despite his promises to only use three he was prevailed upon to return one to his car.  Allan was spotted with a similar club count but he claims that it was a genuine mistake when he was a bit undecided about whether to take his eight or his nine.  He is a senior after all.  Though he did claim to not know what the Seniors Championship was all about.  He has been away for a while.

At the end of the day, the prediction of 39 points did not quite come to pass though it could easily have been beaten had Noodles not had a gash on his card for the 3rd hole.  Noodles went a long way towards proving that you don’t really need a bag full of clubs to score well and he obviously put his three iron, pitching wedge and putter to very good use to come home with 38 points and one stroke less to play with next week.  There were eight Championship Points and balls in compensation.

Allan seems to be relishing the move from Yarrambat to the shorter course here at Ivanhoe as he featured again today having held the Clubhouse leadership from the first group through to the last when Noodles came home to snatch the bacon.  The handicapper was more than happy to shave a little more off to try to keep Allan under control.

Presumably, due to the Easter weekend, Snags was able to tear himself away from the buses and made it to the course.  There were all sorts of predictions as to how out of form he might be after a lengthy break but it was agreed that he didn’t have to put in cards to be re-handicapped.  He was in the same group as SOS and the pair of them went head to head and hammer and tongs the whole way.  The score was tilted slightly in Snags’ favour at the 18th when SOS started to play mind games about letting Craig in on a little secret.  Whether this got to him or not, he missed a putt that would have kept his lead and the pair of them ended up equal on 36 points and one stroke the difference off the stick.  The secret, it seems was that today was SOS’s birthday and that as a result Craig owed him a beer.

While on the subject of birthdays, the Birthday Birdie was a little remiss last week and failed to mention that RodG marked another little milestone in his quest to play a round under his age.  No, he didn’t have a good round, he just had another birthday.  Anyway, Happy Birthday, Rod and SOS.

Porks also played in the last group so maybe it was that the conditions improved as the morning progressed resulting in better scoring in the later groups.  As it was, there were a few disappointed faces when he presented with a card of 30 points because, up to that point, nobody else had and the new score pushed a number of people out of the points tally for the day.  Ryan managed to get at least one birdie on his card but there were only six reported for the day.

One point further back were a trio of players by the names of Damo, Michael and Simon.  They all managed to come in with 29 points which is still a pretty fair effort.  By all reports, Damo was thoroughly sick of his eight iron by the end of the round.  There were no reports on his opinion of the rescue that he was using for long shots.

The BallPin today was on the 12th and once again it was a virtual no-contest after Allan got his name on the card from the first group.  Targe did try to put up an argument that his was closer using a perpendicular from the line joining the tee to the hole.  Unfortunately for Targe the conventional wisdom is that it is the direct line to the hole that is taken as the measure of closeness to the pin.  The roving ProPin was on the 4th and yet again it was the first group that shut out the rest of the field with Simon managing to put his to 4.56m which was just within the 5m limit.  The fixed ProPin on the 18th went pretty much the other way with nobody laying claim to it until Damo went close.  But, unfortunately, it has not close enough with a measurement made at 5.2m.  As a result, there will be a Jackpot of the funds to next week.

During the week, Mehm was onto Chrispy about playing Matchplay today claiming that he wasn’t worried about it being the Three Club Challenge as he would need only two clubs to beat Chrispy.  No deal to play was struck but when Mehm was a non-starter today, Chrispy reckoned that he should be able to claim a walkover for the round.  As a result, the are no Matchplay results this week.  There are still three weeks to finish Round 2 but sooner rather than later would be better and if Round 3 know their opponents there is probably no reason why they should not get ahead of the game.

ChrisV generally didn’t have much of a day but there was one highlight with a birdie on the 4th.  The tee shot was pulled severely and headed for the forest on the left side of the fairway where, fortunately, one of the Priems trees stood at the ready and flung the ball back into play on the fairway.  From there, Chris proceeded to chip it in to the amazement of all concerned.  A couple who didn’t get off so lightly were Snags and Keith who both suffered the indignity of pulling off a draughtie each on the 2nd.  Chrispy was overheard hoping for them to lift their game if he was to get home sober.

Targe, for one, might be going to reconsider his club choice if he ever plays the Three Club Challenge again (he said he wouldn’t).  Trying to analyse what was going wrong, he decided that he was standing too close to the ball.  Whether it was the big one he was standing on or the small one he was trying to hit would be a moot point from any number of aspects though the ‘dropkick’ count was fairly high.  Allan on his motorised sit-upon reminds Chrispy of his younger (or maybe, not so younger) days watching Thunderbirds.  Allan reckons he can remind people of anything they like as it allows him to get out and play golf.

There was some discussion about the local rules (you can guess who started it) and for everybody’s edification a complete copy (the card only has a part copy) of the IPGC Local Rules has been obtained and the page on the website will be updated forthwith.

Results for Saturday, 15 April 2017
1st Stephen Butterfield(38) 2nd Allan Davies(37) 3rd Craig Sharp(36) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan(36) 4th Ryan Porker(30) 5th Michael Gourlay(29) 5th Damien Lee(29) 5th Simon Powell(29) 5th Chris Priems(29)

Seniors Results: 1st Allan Davies (37) 2nd Simon Powell (29) 3rd Harry Boughen (28)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 4th Simon Powell ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 12th Allan Davies

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Now, Michael did say that he was going to run the tee marshalling a bit differently but it was a bit of a surprise to find him this morning settled at a table in the Pro Shop at a table piled high with ladies golf shoes on special.  Turned out that our usual spot was off limits due to some ne’er-do-wells deciding they were hungry during the night, smashing in a window and defongerating with an armful of Gaytimes or something similar.  Obviously, they were having a gay old time.  Maybe it was the balmy night that addled their brain.

Conditions on the course were balmy and the sprinklers must have been off the greens since Thursday (when they were saturated) because they were firm and fast which brought more than a few unstuck with their short game.  There was a bit of a northerly blowing and Chrispy’s view before the round was that a square card would be enough to win and so he played to get himself a place using that as his standard.  As it turned out, a square card would have got you 5th place and Chrispy was well down the pecking order beyond that.  So much for being a judge of the conditions.

Wind or no wind, Matt got himself onto the Championship table with a vengeance by taking out the event by a good margin and doing his handicap some harm with seven points on the plus side of the ledger.  And his card included at least three on the debit side so he could have easily smashed it and finished with a par equalling round off the stick.  Still, three over ain’t half bad and Matt should be thankful that we haven’t adopted Ed’s handicapping system.

Jason has been working permanent afternoon shift and has been taking his mornings to fit in some practice during the week with a nine holes here and a nine holes there.  He reckons there was only one nine holes last week but it seems to have stood him in good stead as he was able to put in a pretty handy +5 to take out second spot.  The handicap is sneaking down but this new lot of points has moved Jason to the top of the Championship Table but with nine people within a win of the top spot there is plenty of room for manoeuvre.

Targe was another one who had a bit of practice during the week and he reckons he was able to work something out and put it into practice.  Whether it was that or just blind chance doesn’t matter as he was able to score well, particularly on the back nine, though when he faltered on the 17th, some unkind types cried handicap protection.  In the end, +3 was enough for third place in the main game and also for top spot in the Seniors both on the day on on the Seniors Championship.  Brent started well but tired a bit on the back to finish with +1 and 4th place.  Damo and Noodles rounded out the points table for today, not quite making Chrispy’s predicted winning score and carding a -1 apiece.  Noodles would have liked to have scored more than a plus for his effort on the 17th where he managed to raid the Eagles Nest and collected a nice little seven eggs just in time for Easter.

The BallPin today was on the 15th and it was fiercely contested with no less than three names on the card.  In the end, Michael was the one to collect the ball on offer.  And this was after he had extorted one from Ed for having forgotten to put the marker out last week.  The Jackpot ProPin was on the 12th and Jason must have thought he was in with a chance but he was squeezed out by Keith who managed to finish his 2.43 m from the hole.  Harry was disappointed to find his ball stopped 200mm short of the plug where the hole had been previously.  The second ProPin on the 18th was a one-man show with Rob being the only one to get, just, close enough at 4.87 m (and barely on the green it might be added).  Rob wasn’t able to get the birdie (or even the par) and so he did not contribute to the total of 15 that we managed throughout the day.

Round 1 on the Matchplay was completed with walkovers being awarded to Rob and Chrispy.  Round 2 is well under way and there were three matches contested today.  SteveK and the Beast did battle and with the handicap difference only two strokes it was very much an off-the-stick event.  Bill got his nose in front at the 4th and never really looked back and although Steve fought something of a rearguard action in the middle of the back, the match went dormie at the 14th and a squared result at the 15th sealed the match for the Beast 4 and 3.  Eddie and JohnQ fought it out long and hard and although John didn’t quite make into positive territory he held the match to square until the 14th but Ed eventually got up 2 and 1.  The match between Damo and Stef promised much but, in the end, Damo was never much worried, even by Stef putting his drive on the 16th within a couple of metres of the green.  Stef did win that hole to make the match dormie but Damo won the next to take the match 3 and 1.

Jason went close to snatching the Eagles Nest from Noodles by just coming up short for a Hole-in-One on the 4th.  SOS swears that if the ball had bounced one more time it would have gone in.  The birdie must have been a sure thing.  But, as they say in the classics, close, but no cigar (or balls, or plaque).  Targe did the presentations today (as the Club captain should) and there was not a single call for him to stand up.  And, although he isn’t the longest pencil in the case, he still does cast a shadow and needed to be reminded to move aside on the green at one stage.

Blighty was mostly hitting his drives well today, except for the 17th where a chunked shot finished well short of the red markers.  His technique of holding his right heel well off the ground might well be unconventional but it does seem to be not disadvantageous (for him, anyway).  Chrispy was also spotted buying a round for a deviation on the 15th that did not result in a Priems recovery from amongst the trees.  Damo had his short game going today, much to the exasperation of Stefan who opined that Damo could get up and down out of elephant dung (or words to that effect).

Some advice from Targe is that, if you don’t want your Club cap (or your head?) to turn purple, you should wear a hankie inside it (your cap, that is).

Results for Saturday, 08 April 2017
1st Matt Hunt(+7) 2nd Jason Hopkins(+5) 3rd Targe Mifsud(+3) 4th Brent Rowley(+1) 5th Stephen Butterfield(-1) 5th Damien Lee(-1)

Seniors Results: 1st Targe Mifsud (+3) 2nd Keith Delzoppo (-2) 3rd Bill Eastoe (-3)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Keith Delzoppo ProPin No 2 18th Robert Priems BallPin 15th Michael Gourlay

Eagle’s nest Results: Eagle 17th Stephen Butterfield

Winter is coming! Summer is officially over, a cold and chilly day brought along with it the sad news that the golf course is closing down effective immediately. Who would have thought that the riverside setting was an ideal place for 649 apartments and luxury townhouses. Hopefully the river does not overflow! Also in the news, Dane Swan is making a comeback and ikea are hitting the skies as the newest budget airline! And with it, the last ever golf competition was won by none other than Eddie, who has lost a couple of strokes of the HC as he put in a solid round of nett 67. Now Eddie is no Fool, and he started with an 8 on the first, but put that behind him to secure April’s medal for his efforts.

SOS and Ryan player together and it seemed that the wheels were falling off SOS’s wagon after he par’d the first two holes, expectation got the better of him and he didn’t quite make the ladies tee on the 3rd.  He mentioned towards the end of the round that even he was looking forward to his ‘shout’ at the end of the round, after the rounds ups and downs,  but nonetheless he came in second place with Ryan with a nett 68. Chris V put in a solid round which is surprising given he had to play with Noodles and put up with his shit all day (talking or golf??). Chris was joined by Michael in 3rd place with a score of 69.

Keith was back again and played well enough for 4th place a few strokes back on 72 and 5th was shared by Mehmet and Targe on 73 points. Mehmet was slugging it out in the matchplay against Brent, and had an early lead which was clawed back mid round. In the end it was Mehm who won 3 and 1. There was one other matchplay match played, with a clash of the heavy weights (not literally) with Michael and Brendon. It was an even contest all day but it was Michael’s consistency which came out trumps to enter into the second round with a score of 2 and 1.

There was some very high scores put in by some of the 16 members, and this is correlated to the low birdie count of only 7 for the day. Conditions were pretty good but as it gets cooler the fairway run with drop off in the weeks to come. Now as Eddie had to leave before the final groups had finished, blame was put onto him for forgetting to place the marker out for the ball hole on the 15th. Michael was heard complaining after the round that he would have to put his lawyers onto whoever was responsible as he believes he should have been entitled to a ball.

No such excuse for the pro pin on the 4th, it goes to a jackpot next week. The 18th was a bit closer and with a front tier pin position it was Chrispy who put it close enough to take the cash. The eagles nest is up to 7 balls so is almost worth the risk to take on the 17th water hazard. The Championship leaderboard is looking very congested at the top with 17 players only being separated by 11 points so it could be anyone’s chance at this stage in the year.

Round 1 of the matchplay is over, there are a few matches which have not been played out. Please let Harry know if there is to be a forfeit or alternative arrangements made so that the round 2 matches can be finalised.

 

Results for Saturday, 01 April 2017
1st Ed Kloprogge(67) 2nd Ryan Porker(68) 2nd Stephen O’Sullivan(68) 3rd Michael Gourlay(69) 3rd Chris Vinecombe(69) 4th Keith Delzoppo(72) 5th Mehmet Akdag(73) 5th Targe Mifsud(73)

Seniors Results: 1st Ed Kloprogge (67) 2nd Keith Delzoppo (72) 3rd Targe Mifsud (73)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 4th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Chris Priems BallPin 15th Jackpot

The weather gods once again looked down favourably on the 23 members and two lifers that turned out to honour the memory of Stuart Clarke on the final day of his Memorial Event.  There was a fair sprinkling of hawaiian shirts and President John declared that if there was a prize then it should go to Targe even though it was one of his ‘dress’ shirts.  Brendon was resplendent in his blue Club shirt and many agreed that it could be counted as outrageous.  With the weather so favourable and the course dressed within an inch of its life, it was to be expected that there would be some good scoring to be had.  The competition tally of 16 birdies however suggested that things didn’t necessarily go according to plan.

But, there were some good scores and the one to take the day and the Stuart Clarke Memorial Trophy was for 40 points and that was combined with 37 points last week to give a total of 77 points to Allan which should be more than enough to do some damage to his handicap at Yarrambat next week.  Rodger is going to make very sure that it does.  Rodger didn’t put his card in but if reports are to be believed he could very well be looking for strokes back as a result.

Despite all the hoping that Joe’s new family addition would arrive early and distract him from the task at hand, it was not to be and the arrival will be next Thursday as planned, just in time to spend time with Dad watching the US Masters and getting the feel of his first putter.  Good luck with that one Joe.  Anyway, Joe put in a pretty fair round this week following on from his leading performance last week to take the points, if not the trophy, with a total of 74 points for the event.

Pepsi tried valiantly to make up the gap from last week and went very close to pulling it off.  If only he had been able to keep up the pace that he set on the front nine where he produced nothing under a two pointer, 2 strokes under the card and a total of 22 for the nine.  The long walk from the 9th to the 10th seems to have affected his game and the back nine did not really come up to the same standard.  The Beast was right up amongst it from last week and he had to deal with the strain of playing his match with Bob but he was able to do enough to come in in 3rd place with a total of 70.

Harry was just outside the top rankings last week and he put in some practice rounds at a number of courses along the Murray during the week.  Another round of 34 points slotted him into fourth place with a total of 68.  And finally for the points allocation, SOS, Chrispy and Brendon rolled in with a grand total of 66 points apiece.

The BallPin today was on the 4th and it ended up being a no-contest as Eddie put his name on the card playing in the first group and nobody else in the field was able to get inside him.  The first ProPin was on the 12th again and it played almost the other way around with nobody getting on until one of the last groups when Joe was able to get within 2 m to collect some cash to go towards a set of clubs for the new-comer.  The Beast made a meal of the second ProPin on the 18th which did go down to the last group and put it to 1.1 m of the hole.  He also made the birdie to break Bob’s heart and win the Matchplay which had been a close run thing for the whole round and could almost have gone to a chip-off.  This could explain why it took Bill and Bob about ten minutes to finalise their scorecards while everybody waited impatiently for the presentations.

In other matchplay results, Matt was able to despatch Ryan on the last hole when Ryan ‘choked’ and shanked his approach shot and generally made a fine mess of the hole.  Shank you very much, said Matt, as he took the match 1 up.  Gordon couldn’t putt to save himself (his words) and ended up going down to Whitey at the 16th, 3 and 2.  There are still a few first round matches to go so there will have to be some serious action next week to get them out of the way before the deadline.  Players still in for the second round can arrange their matches any time from now on.

RodG was hitting his shots from the tee pretty well all day but on the very last hole he had something of a rush of blood to the head and chunked it seriously to finish not more than half way to the red tee markers.  This was the only draughtie report for the day but there could have been more.  In one case, Noodles was seen to throw his club further than the ball had travelled but this might not have been from the tee.

Now, the Beast has been known to pull off what might be termed ‘miracle’ shots and he has been known to channel prominent professionals for guidance as to how to play a particular shot.  It is hard to say who you might want to call upon for this particular lie from his tee shot on the 8th but wire-cutters and a machete come to mind.

The Priems family are famous for their strategic use of the greenery around the course to keep their game on track.  This was shown, never more clearly today than through Rob’s effort on the 3rd.  His ball was heading for the river and Dight’s Falls almost for certain.  Until, that is, it struck a tree and came back into bounds.  Though, only just, according to Rob.  On the other side of the ‘luck’ coin, Targe ran his tee shot on the 15th within millimetres of the hole and had it stop about 300mm past.  Naturally enough, he tapped it in for the easiest of birdies.  Matt racked up a few birdies today as well and on holes that counted for the Eclectic and he has now jumped up into second place and is within a point of Bob.  It must have been a mixed round for Matt as he was complaining about how many balls he had lost.

Blighty also got himself in among the bushes today.  He made his back-swing just a bit too high and the club-head got tangled in the branches and he completed his downswing without the club in his hands.  Does that count?  Gordon claims that, as well as his putting abandoning him, he was also gutted by Whitey racking up a four pointer on the first hole and then repeating the performance a few holes later.  At least they weren’t five pointers!  Or even White Pointers!  Though he could have been sharking it!

Keith was back with us today after an extended break and he is looking forward to playing more regularly again.  Welcome back Keith.

Results for Saturday, 25 March 2017
Stuart Clarke Memorial Winner Allan Davies (37, 40, 77),1st Joe Wagenecht(39, 35, 74) 2nd Andrew Petricola(36, 37, 73) 3rd Bill Eastoe(38, 32, 70) 4th Harry Boughen(34, 34, 68) 5th Stephen O’Sullivan(35, 31, 66) 5th Chris Priems(29, 37, 66) 5th Brendon Mitchell(36, 30, 66)

Seniors Results: 1st Bill Eastoe (32,38,70) 2nd Harry Boughen (34,34,68) 3rd Rod Grant (29,34,63)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Joe Wagenecht ProPin No 2 18th Bill Eastoe BallPin 4th Ed Kloprogge