Category Archives: Club News

The Club competition year is rushing pell-mell to a close and a number of events are coming down to the wire.  The tension in some quarters is palpable and nervous flutters could very easily be affecting some people’s games.  Despite the fact that most dashes had been left far too late, there were still 23 members out on the course today to try to keep their least favourite contender out of the points if possible.  The course re-paid in spades with the fairways green and lush but forgiving enough to provide a bit of run for the nicely struck ball.  The weather gods were in a benevolent mood and the sun shone down from a cloudless sky but with not enough intensity to raise the temperature beyond a comfortable level.

So, conditions were ripe for some good scoring and some good scoring did eventuate but the spread of good results was rather limited.  The best on the day, with an off-the-stick score of 77, that missed being a personal best by the narrowest of margins, and a points score of +6 was none other than Simon.  It seems that his extra games during the week and the back-yard practice are starting to pay off big-time.

Fairly hot on Simon’s heels was Dale, who played in his first competition today since qualifying for his handicap.  The handicapper is beginning to think that the rules for handicap qualifying might need to be reviewed given the regularity of maidens getting up at their first outing.  Dale was joined in second place by Joe who might yet rue not leaving his dash for a week in his quest for a medal to hang around his neck.  Regardless, plus five is a score to be envied.

A couple of players who were looking on with envious eyes in third place were SOS and ChrisV who both played some steady golf and managed to play just under their handicap with a plus one result.  Chris might have been hampered by a lack of sleep that seems to have been plaguing him since the recent addition to the family came home to bring joy to their lives.  Fourth place was filled by a squad of four.  Two guys who just happened to mark each others cards but to which coincidence absolutely no blame can be attached, were CraigC and Michael.  Whitey was able to tear himself away from the cricket pitch for just one weekend and proved that he can keep his eye on the ball whether it be white or red (or pink or white).  The man who claims to have scored points every time he has played this year kept true to his claim and Snags upped his total by a couple more today to round out the group of four squares.  Plus, his claim is actually true with six games showing on the Championship Table and six scoring results.  He has a bit to do to match the Beast’s record of almost three points per round played.

Chrispy thought he wasn’t going too well today and as he walked up the 10th he passed Michael and conceded that the prospect of third place in the Championship had slipped from his grasp.  Michael obviously has his eyes on a greater prize but he might still have been affected by this piece of ‘good’ news when he shanked his second after one of his better drives of the day.  Chris managed to score a point with his minus one card but the prospect of a podium finish in the main game is now well and truly out of reach.  Chris was joined by the other Rod(G) and Stefan who seems to have tired of driving the 11th and is striving to emulate the feat on the 10th though today’s effort was a little astray out on the 13th.

The main Championship is now a strictly three horse race and the final placings will depend on the outcome of next week’s Stroke round with any one of the three, the Beast, Brendon and Michael able to come in with the top points for the year.  That should prove to be an interesting group to follow next week and there might be a need for a referee in case the going gets a bit rough as the round progresses.  The Seniors Championship has a winner as the Beast has an unassailable lead but there is likely to be a certain amount of elbowing going on for second and third place with Simon, Bob and Harry to fight that one out on the last day.  There is still a bit of life left in the Eclectic as Brendon could be rolled by a well placed birdie from DennisW.  The Beast and Rob will have to work hard on their nemesis holes for birdies or hope for the elusive eagle to cause the big upset.

On the subject of birdies, the strike rate was down a bit on last week and we managed only 14 for the day.  The ProPin today was scheduled for the 12th and there was a marker there but it was the one without the tape.  So, we don’t have a precise measurement, but a reasonably accurate estimate was put at 4.1m which allowed CraigC to beat out RodG for the Jackpot Pool so Craig should be able to feed the wive and kids tonight.  The BallPin was on the 18th but somebody forgot to put the marker out (no names Ed) and, although there were several claims to have been on the green, it was declared that the BallPin would Jackpot.

The Birthday Birdie reports that there are no birthdays to report on this week and so he is taking a well earned break from his arduous duties of delivering best wishes to all and sundry.

The weather was good today and a number of players had their shorts on.  One player didn’t have his shorts on but kept coming up short and that was CriagC.  He tried to rationalise it by stating that he really needed to practice his 1-2m (and sometimes 3m) putts.  Dale could have been in top spot today if it had not been for a wayward shot on the 17th that looked as if it could be lost/oob.  His provisional was last seen heading for Dights Falls but luckily (?) the first ball was found but totally unplayable so there was no real joy there as shots went astray after the penalty.  Snags also had some problems on the 17th.  It seems that Craig tried sledging SOS who sledged right back by challenging him to put his into the pond.  It took Snags a couple of shots but he did manage to do just that and put it in the pond.

Rob is a bit crooked on Blighty.  Rob had been doing it a bit tough coming up the 6th and even his approach shot to the green was off-line and a bit over-done and it was heading straight for Blighty’s bag and buggy.  Andrew rushed across and pulled the equipment out of the way of the ball which then flew unimpeded into the pond to ensure absolutely no chance of a score for Rob.

Targe has lashed out and bought himself a new pair of shoes using some of his ill-gotten gains in the inside competition.  Targe got a bit concerned when he noticed a large letter W on the box and thought it meant that it might have meant that they were women’s shoes.  He was somewhat reassured that it could very well mean ‘wide’ fitting.  If anybody knows the true meaning of the W, keep it to yourself, we wouldn’t want Targe to know the truth.

Chrispy was in a generous mood this morning and volunteered to give three people a lift to golf this morning.  Apparently it was a bit close and ‘whiffy’ when all and their gear was packed into the woneye express.  And out on the course, Chris was complaining that his playing partners used up all his Priems-tree luck when their shots bounced nicely into the fairway while his trickled down the trunk and spun back to the base of the tree.  The Beast was giving Brendon a bit of a ribbing about the fact that there is only one hole that he hasn’t birdied this year.  It seems that a week or so ago, Brendon had a good chance to fix that little problem but let a 2.5m putt just slip by.

We were pleased to welcome a new member who joined us today though there is some confusion as to what his name really is.  Initially, he was introduced as a long time member of the Royal and Ancient Company of Golfers by the name of Jock Strapp  Then rumours started circulating that he was really a time-travelling Jacobite who was known through the ages as Phillip McCavity.  An even more disturbing possibility came to light when the rumour mill suggested that it was actually Donald Trump on  a mission to add to his collection of golf courses by buying out Royal Ivanhoe.  And last, but not least, that it was actually and orang-utan that had defongerated from the Melbourne Zoo.  After the wild speculations had died down, it was finally revealed that it was none other than Gordo, sporting another of his Oppe Shoppe finds and everybody agreed that his appearance was much improved as a result.  There was also great general relief when it was revealed that his ambition to wear a girls school uniform as well was thwarted, firstly by a singular lack of willing school-girls and second, by an eminently sensible better half who absolutely forbade it.

Next week is the December Monthly Medal to finalise this year’s Championships.  It is also the first round of the Strokeplay Championship.  After the round, there will be the usual Club lunch and the Calcutta Auction for the Vin O’Meara Stakes to be run over the following two weeks.  We have a number of scratchings (horses that will not be up for sale in the Auction) already and if you fit into this category, please advise Harry and or SOS as soon as possible to simplify the execution of the event and the accounting for the funds taken in and given out.  Also note that if you opt out of the Auction, you can still play in the event, the calcutta will be determined by the placings of those horses that are sold.

Results for Saturday, 19 November 2016
1st Simon Powell(+6) 2nd Joe Wagenecht(+5) 2nd Dale Webb(+5) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan(+1) 3rd Chris Vinecombe(+1) 4th Craig Cameron(□) 4th Michael Gourlay(□) 4th Craig Sharp(□) 4th Rodney White(□) 5th Stefan Belevski(-1) 5th Rod Grant(-1) 5th Chris Priems(-1)

Seniors Results: 1st Simon Powell (+6) 2nd Craig Cameron (□) 3rd Rod Grant (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 12th Craig Cameron BallPin 18th Jackpot

The season is in wind down mode.  This year’s golf season, that is.  You could be forgiven for imagining that the weather is also in wind down mode if not wind back.  After a couple of beautiful days during the week it was out with the winter gloves again today and the couple of glimpses of the sun did little to lift the temperature or the spirits.  Twenty players set out to try their hand a collecting the next to last trophy up for grabs in individual competition for this year.  For better or for worse, nineteen players finished on the 18th.  One player handed in his chips on the 17th after his ball could not be found and he couldn’t be bothered walking back to the tee.  That’s the trouble with being honest.  Most people would have declared that it was most likely in the hazard and taken the penalty with the hope of an up and down from the far side of the pond.  As it turned out, the group in front had heard the ball enter the water and so Brendon could have finished the round quite legally by taking the penalty.

But the Birthday Birdie obviously arrived early for Craig and presented him with a gift, albeit a couple of days early.  Craig kept his head down and his eye on the ball and the putts kept falling in.  As the saying goes, you drive for show but you putt for dough and very often that is the main difference between an average round and a good one – the putts keep dropping.  Well done Craig, a bit late to challenge for the Championship but you are now a very worthy contender for the Champion of Champions event.  A couple of birdies along the way helped a bit with the Eclectic though the handicap change cut a bit of the gloss from that.  Brendon still has the lead in this event and with only three rounds to go, he might be a bit hard to bring down but it is not impossible.  And, while thinking of birdies, there were a total of 17 altogether today, which is not a bad number considering the windy conditions and the diabolical placement of some of the pins.

It seems that Ed has given up work and is embarking a new career as a golfer if the fact that he is taking lessons and is playing up to five times a week is any guide.  Also, he says as much himself.  So, it is not surprising that Ed played exactly to his handicap today and he had to take a four putt on the 18th to do it.  Maybe it was the wind, but a quick survey after the game showed that at least four other people managed to achieve that not particularly bragg-worthy land-mark.  Ed looked as if he was going to tear the course apart after starting with 3 birdies in the first four holes even though he did have to sink a 20m putt to get one of them.  Ed also managed to collect the ProPin on the 12th today with a shot that put him 4.35m from the hole.  Not a bad dividend given that it was a jackpot from last week and it was Double Dollars for today.

Simon is also putting in some hard yards to improve his game.  He now has a membership card for IPGC and is skiving off from work a couple of times during the week to fit in the nine holes or so before his mid-morning meetings.  The effort seems to be paying off with him striking the ball well and consistently, except maybe for the 16th where a poor drive and a run in with the water hazard from the second shot made all the difference in the final result.

Joe has been checking and double-checking that he has qualified for the Monthly Medal and so it was expected that he would be out there putting in his best shot to take the top spot.  Unfortunately, Joe will have to wait a little longer after the putter let him down on a couple of occasions.  So it was only 4th place today alongside Stefan who didn’t drive any greens today but he did go close to sinking an approach shot on the 4th by means of a ricochet  Not sure what the obstacle was but this was after Jason had chipped in and Gordon’s ball went past the hole and then rolled back and fell in.  It definitely was not back-spin.  Estimates of the time taken for the ball to fall vary widely but Gordon is quite confident that the time frame was within the Rules of Golf.

Now comes the man that a few were hoping would stay away on his holiday a bit longer and that he would cease and desist from playing golf while upon said holiday.  That, of course, is none other than the Beast who managed to snag himself another point today to make it just that little bit harder for anyone to overtake him in the next three weeks.  It is possible, of course, and threats of knee-cappings might just have to be taken seriously.  Nothing like a good slug-fest to see out the final rounds of the year.  Bill was joined in 5th spot by Jason who is thinking of getting his name tattooed on his forehead to reduce the number of times that he is mistaken for somebody else.

Actually, getting back to Bill, he creamed his second shot (after having creamed his first) on the 6th and the ball rolled quite comfortably to the centre of the green just in a nice spot to interfere with the line of one of the players still occupying the green.  So, the ball had to be marked, and what a ball it was.  A grubbier, more worn ball has rarely graced the manicured fairways and greens of Ivanhoe.  Conservative estimates put the age at at least ten rounds and still no KO.  Bill will undoubtedly be pleased to have made it closest on the BallPin 12th hole so that he will be able to pension off ‘old reliable’ for a nice shiny new one sometime soon.

DennisW might have been a bit unlucky to be out of the points today but he does reckon he was lucky to have made past the red markers on one hole.  There was no evidence of there having been any actual draughties today so the bar staff had a pretty easy day.  Simon had just completed his tee shot on the 8th when there was an odd sort of a sound and his driver clattered to the ground.  It wasn’t that he was disgusted with his shot, it was that he had been hit on the knee by a ball from the 5th tee.  Not one of ours this time and they claimed to have given warning.  Maybe the wind carried the call away.

Mehm continues on his winless ways and he was really hoping not to make it to his two year anniversary.  There was almost a consolation prize today though when it put the ball onto the 17th green with an eminently gettable putt for the Eagle and the handful of eggs in the nest since the last time it was raided.  The ball slipped by the hole by the narrowest of margins and Mehm had to settle for the birdie.  Ryan was a bit crooked on the placement of the pins today, particularly the one on the 12th for the ProPin.  Ryans ball was closer to the pin that Ed’s but it was off the green by only a few millimetres.

The round wasn’t all that far off the pace today but there was a bit of a gap opened up between one of the middle groups and the front runners.  And there were groups of three bringing up the rear.  So an enterprising type suggested that two of the groups should join up to reduce the pain of waiting.  And, it looks as if they had a mighty fine time of it if the happy snap is anything to go by.  There is no truth to the rumour that Ryan is auditioning for the next KISS revival tour.

The Birthday Birdie has another call to make this week and that is to our oldest member, young Mal, who racks up another milestone in a couple of days and makes it just that little bit easier to achieve his goal of playing a round (as distinct from playing around) under his age.  The latter past-time can best be left to Noodles.

Don’t forget that you can pay your subs for next year any time soon.  The Club is up for the GolfLink subs immediately in the New Year and we would like to get them in before the Christmas Party (if not sooner).  Anybody who plans to change their GolfLink status (home/non-home, opt in/opt out) could they please advise as soon as possible.

Preparation of the Form Guide for the Vin O’Meara Stakes is about to get under way and we are also looking for advice on which members will be not playing in the whole event (either none or only one day) and which members do not wish to be included in the Calcutta Auction.  If you are unfamiliar with the Calcutta concept have a read of the Rules and/or ask one of the longer term members.

Results for Saturday, 05 November 2016
1st Craig Cameron(64) 2nd Ed Kloprogge(68) 3rd Simon Powell(69) 4th Stefan Belevski(70) 4th Joe Wagenecht(70) 5th Bill Eastoe(71) 5th Jason Hopkins(71)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (64) 2nd Ed Kloprogge (68) 3rd Simon Powell (69)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 12th Ed Kloprogge BallPin 15th Bill Eastoe

Who said that the members didn’t like playing Par competition?  Given that this was the third week in a row (thanks Fred) the turn-out of 23 members was pretty impressive.  It was a bit cool to start off but, when the cloud cover burned off, it warmed up nicely and turned into a delightful Melbourne Spring day.  Could be just the time for a racing Carnival you could almost think.  Come to think of it there is some sort of a horse race coming up shortly.  Something called the Vin O’Meara Stakes if memory serves correctly.

As predicted a little while back, it wasn’t long before Jason appeared on the top podium spot.  A bit like the day, it took him a while to warm up and it was six holes into the round before he first entered positive territory and he just managed to stay there at the turn with the card showing just one up.  The back nine obviously suited him as he squared six and won three to finish the day with a field-streeting +4 points.  The handicapper took an axe, and gave his mother forty whacks, and when that job was nicely done, he gave poor Jason, forty-one! Figuratively speaking, that is.

Harry looked to be in a good position to emulate what Jason achieved.  That is until Pepsi asked how he was going on the 14th green.  The wheels immediately developed a nasty wobble and the plus four at that stage was almost eliminated by the end of the round.  Still, second place and a slightly positive card meant that the handicapping was relatively painless.  Harry was joined in second place by Rob who did himself out of a point on his card by not checking the handicap sheet before he went out to play.  Rob started off well and was well placed at the turn but dropped a fair amount of engine oil on the last three holes.

So, that left Noodles and John tied up in 3rd place with their square cards.  John was very well balanced and squared both nines while Noodles finished with one each way.  Joe was hitting the ball really well and squared well over half of the holes but the losses outnumbered the wins and he was only able to finish the day one down. Michael spent a lot of the day worrying whether his supply of tees would last until Christmas.  Apparently he is on Santa’s Nice list and he is expecting a big stocking-full from the big fella.

Michael hasn’t quite descended to the level of desperation evident in this pic from a couple of weeks back but one tee today went close to needing some sort of additional support to be usable on the next hole.  Ryan mostly either won them or lost them so his performance might best be described as steady but erratic.  But then, he scores points, and that is what counts in the end.

Fifth spot today was filled by a couple of Seniors by the name of DennisW and Simon who both managed to come home just the two holes down.  Now Simon has been away on a road-trip and there are often reports of funny stuff happening on road-trips.  Not sure whether it was the after effects of funny stuff but Simon marked his partners card back to front (marker on the left, player on the right) which had the handicapper scratching his head for a while as to how the scoring could have been so wrong.

The BallPin today was on the 15th and Pepsi did a good job to put it on but left a bit of work to do with the putt.  But, putt it he did, for one of the 16 birdies that were carded for the day.  It wasn’t enough to win the ball however as Joe managed to put it closer to score himself a nice new pill to play with next week.  He didn’t get the birdie though.  The ProPin was set for the 18th and with the pin set close to the start of the swale to the lower level it was a tough target.  So tough, in fact, that nobody managed to put it close enough to make a claim and the pool will Jackpot to next week.  Rob and Chris are a bit disappointed as they will be at Mansfield next weekend.  Chrispy has at least three rounds lined up for during the week so he is hoping for the ‘old’ Chrispy to be back before next weekend.  He was heard saying that he gave up on the back nine today which is hardly the attitude when preparing for a Major event such as Mansfield.

DennisT has some time off from his role at the Darklands and he hasn’t had much time for practice but he thought that today was a beautiful day for a walk.  Pepsi was keen to get away to Flemington and the hope is that his punting will treat him better than his rather rusty form did on the golf course.  He didn’t have any hot tips to offer but he thought that there might be a few fillies worth having a look at.

There was a Magpie patrolling the area around the 18th and it seems that Jason went close to spiflicating it and turning it into a Hawk (some sort of football analogy?).  Stefan had his driver tuned up today and caused some consternation in the group in front when he went close to driving the green on the 5th and then lobbed one over the corner on the 10th right into their midst.  While it can be hard to know exactly where people are when they are out of sight, they definitely shouldn’t be out of mind.

Simon managed to score one of the birdies today on the 17th, which he put down to ‘good golf’ and it was one of the highlights of his round.  One of the highlights of his road-trip was being tapped on the shoulder by security at his hotel for practicing chipping on the courtyard lawns.  He did get in 25 minutes worth of practice though.  Maybe that helped today.

Mal was back today after a little while away due to the cold and some health matters and he shared a cart with Trev to guarantee that he could finish the round.  His playing partners thought that he was hitting the ball really well in light of his claim that he hadn’t played for over a month.  What they didn’t realise was that he was referring to Club Events and that he has been making an appearance on Thursdays with Rod and Harry.

There weren’t any draughties reported today though Zimmer did manage a few shanks which caused him to throw a tantie or two.  Bob was also less than happy with some aspects of his game today and was apparently giving lessons in new ways to blaspheme in the English language.

The Birthday Birdie will be busy this week with a number of lots of good wishes to hand about.  Celebrations are in order for Mark, Rodger and Damo.  Don’t party too hard fellows!

Results for Saturday, 29 October 2016
1st Jason Hopkins(+4) 2nd Harry Boughen(+1) 2nd Robert Priems(+1) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(□) 3rd John Quinlan(□) 4th Michael Gourlay(-1) 4th Ryan Porker(-1) 4th Joe Wagenecht(-1) 5th Simon Powell(-2) 5th Dennis Ward(-2)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (+1) 2nd Dennis Ward (-2) 2nd Simon Powell (-2) 3rd Malcolm Fleming (-5) 3rd Rod Grant (-5)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 18th Jackpot BallPin 15th Joe Wagenecht