Category Archives: Club News

Things were pretty beastly. It was Thursday and there was still no golf to be had. Youtube lessons, interviews and classic games are no substitute for actually getting out in the fresh air with a few of your mates and flailing vigorously at the infuriating little white (or yellow, or orange etc) ball. Not to mention the walking and coffee and cake and chit-chat.

So, it was during a little trip to the local shopping centre to stock up on a few necessary supplies for the fridge and pantry and who should be striding down the ramp to the shops? It was the Beast himself.

Naturally, we stopped for a chat while taking great care to maintain the requisite social distance. And, just as naturally, the topic of golf came up after we had dispensed with the niceties. And, during the conversation, Bill revealed that he was saving himself from insanity with a little practice net that he had rigged up in the back yard using a piece of netting that he just happened to have lying about in his shed. He has also taken care of matters with respect to occupational health and safety even to the extent of fencing the water hazard. It’s highly unlikely that he will need his scuba for ball recovery unless his game has gone off more than somewhat. Crowds of spectators are probably only slightly more likely.

Methinks this could be the next project with the bird netting recently removed from the tomato garden bed. There were a few tomatoes left but they were never likely to ripen so they contributed to a very nice batch of Tomato Relish. And, it tastes almost exactly like the relish that Mum used to make! That’s if the old taste-buds have a memory worth relying on.

Will the review on May 11 lift the restrictions on our favourite game? Golf, not AFL, you idjits! Maybe, maybe not. When they do, it is likely that it will be under all sorts of limitations but, hey, we can put up with that. But, don’t forget, this is going to be around for a long time. The show isn’t over ’til the fat lady sings and she hasn’t even done her warm-ups yet.

Stay safe and well and we will see you on the other side (of the pandemic, not the Pearly Gates).

Back in 1969, there was a (not so) great movie ‘If It’s Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium’ made, based on the premise that the only way to keep track of of where you were on a bus tour of Europe was by means of the day of the week. In 2020, in the midst of the shutdown by way of contrast, it is difficult to keep track of the days of the week without golf. Tomorrow is short game practice, so today must be Monday. Yesterday was short game practice so today must be Wednesday and tomorrow we play golf. Yesterday was golf and tomorrow is golf so today must be Friday. Knowing the day of the week – easy peasy. Now, who knows what day it is!

There’s always the newspaper. Getting it home delivered is good. You get to go outside and search about the footpath, the road and gutters, your garden, and neighbour’s garden to find where it has been cunningly deposited by the passing tosser. Then, there is a good ten minutes trying to find the edge of the plastic wrapping so that you can upwrap the damn thing. Though, sometimes they spoil the fun by having a ragged, unstuck end that makes it easy to find. Then you get to strip out all the advertising wrap-arounds and inserts and sections you never read. Ah, The Good Food Guide, it must be Tuesday. Then you get to the good bits, the comic cuts and the puzzles page.

Easter did help a bit. Good Friday called for Hot Cross Buns – home-made, of course. A couple of batches does wonders for the waist-line but did eat into the stock of flour and the supermarket shelves are still bare of that particular commodity. On Sunday, the Easter Barramundi left a chocolate Murray Cod which gives the rather toothsome problem of deciding how to deal with it. You can’t really cut fillets off it so, do you just nibble from one end to the other. If so, do you start at the head and work to the tail or vice versa. Or, start from both ends and meet in the middle.

Trips to the shopping centre don’t really define days of the week but you do need to get necessities (if they are available) and visits to the chemist to get prescriptions filled are sort of necessary but you might need to get your temperature taken to get in. Brumby’s is open for business but seems to have relatively few customers. Probably because people are desperately trying to use up all the flour that they bought in a panic a while back.

Television is not much help. Every second program seems to be a repeat. Lots of historic football games on offer as well but not too many repeats of great games of golf. Maybe there is on Stan or Foxtel or somewhere. That sort of leaves YouTube. Who knew that chipping could be such a simple thing and there are only about fifty-seven different ways of doing it properly. Or, that getting an extra ten or twenty yards on your drive could be so easy. And, as for curing that hook or slice!

Looks like it’s going to be at least May before there is any hope of getting some real golf into the system but do not hold your breath. You could get very blue in the face if you do. Stay together but apart. Practice your hygiene, if not your golf, and we will see you on the course and not in an ICU.

Unfortunately, the Committee has had to decide that it is the best interests of both Club members and the community at large for the Club competitions to be suspended immediately.

Competition will resume as soon as it is wise (and allowed) to reconvene in public gatherings but it could well be several months before that chance arises. In due course, the Committee will decide what to do about the half completed Stuart Clarke memorial event but it would be a good idea if everybody still wore their ‘Hawaiian’ shirt tomorrow as a mark of respect close to the anniversary rather than at some future date.

When a date for resumption of competition is determined, the events will carry on as listed in the Calendar from that date. The only exception might be if it was decided to play another round to complete the Stuart Clarke. Any trophy events that are missed during the shut-down will not be competed for or awarded.

In the meantime, stay at home as much as possible, observe social separation and hygiene, and isolate if unwell. It is an unfortunate fact that a number of us will become infected and the last thing we would want to do is to pass the infection on to our friends, family and loved ones, particularly those that might be in the ‘vulnerable’ category.

For those that don’t do Facebook, here is a link that I think well demonstrates the value of social distancing and isolation on limiting the spread and flattening the curve. https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/world/corona-simulator/

See you all on the other side.

It was a big day for Matchplay yesterday and, while we all tried to maintain separation, there was not a great deal separating the members who fought it out in their first (and one second) round matches. There was a little confusion on how to use the score card but basically, you write the respective stroke scores in the first two columns and the result (win [+], square or loss [-]) in the third and then the progress total in the fourth. Notionally, Player 1 is the person on the top row of the fixture as he is the person responsible for arranging the match and recording and reporting the score. We would prefer not to use two cards per match so the person managing the card should make his opponent aware of the index on each hole, particularly where strokes are given or received. Enough of that!

Dale seemed a little perplexed that he had to concede Trev twenty-two strokes in their match. As it turned out, that was exactly the right number because right throughout the scoreline hovered around the even mark and eventually finished all square after the 18th. The match then went to a chip-off that Dale managed to win and take the match.

Chrispy and Craig, on the other hand, were separated by only the single stroke. This match never diverged more than one hole either side of square until it went dormie one in Chrispy’s favour at the 17th. A pair of pars on the 18th handed the match to Chris. There was a slightly larger margin in handicap separating MattH and Daniel and once again the honours were reasonably evenly divided, particularly on the front nine. Matt’s grip loosened a bit in the early stages of the back nine and Daniel opened up a small lead before Matt started to make a come-back. It was just a bit too little and a bit too late when the match fell to Daniel 2 and 1 at the 17th.

Pepsi also had to give a few strokes to Gordo and Gordo had slightly the better of the front nine as Pepsi searched around for his ‘lost’ touch. He must have found it on the track between the 9th green and the 10th tee given the contrast in the stroke scores carded for the two halves. However, despite the two under par back nine, the best that Pepsi could do was to bring the match to all square after the 18th and so they repaired to the green for a chip-off. Pepsi succeeded in the first round.

Dave was on record as saying that his match against Peter would be all over by 10 (o’clock that is). Now, if he had meant, by the 10th hole, he might have been forgiven for thinking that he was getting close. But Peter is not one for lying down and he fought back to bring the match to square by the 15th. However, easy wins on the next two holes gave the result to Dave 2 and 1. In the final match, JQ and Targe slugged it out (almost). The match was very evenly balanced right through the front nine and was all square at the turn. Targe reckoned his new glasses were making the ball look egg-shaped which seemed to make some of his shots go a bit astray or maybe the ball really was egg-shaped and there was nothing wrong with his glasses. In the event, John got the upper hand and looked set to romp it in. A couple of ‘duffed’ chips by John on the 16th and a ‘miracle’ putt by Targe on the 17th brought them to the 18th to decide the match. A half gave the match to John, one up, and avoided yet another chip-off.

There are three matches left to play in Round 1 and two weeks left to complete them. Get your skates on guys! In the meantime, Round 2 matches can be played next week if both players agree but after that (04 April et seq.) the present/play rule will be in force for Round 2.