Category Archives: Club News

After doing a demolition of a servo, that would have gladdened the heart of Whelan, over in the west, there was a worry that Ilsa would spill what remained of her guts on or about the vicinity of the ‘Hoe. There were a few anxious eyes cast at the skies when the wind picked up, heralding the arrival of the weather front, and there were even a few drops of water from the heavens – it couldn’t actually be called rain. However, nothing eventuated and the eighteen members and one guest who ventured out enjoyed what really was a nice day for a game, even if the ‘game’ did not quite meet the same classification, at least for some. Connor McIntosh was the guest, who came along as the guest of James, who would have to count as one of our newest members. That might go some way to explaining why they were asked to ‘Please explain’ their presence in the midst of a competition, when Steve wasn’t obviously with them at the time. Fortunately, neither took offence, and Connor has handed in his first card on his way to becoming a member. So, a big ‘proper’ welcome to Connor.

Sean has only been with us for a short while as well, so he hasn’t appeared on the radar too much yet. However, today, he showed up as a very large blip, something akin to one of the thunderstorms that the Bureau talked about as a possibility later today. A couple of one pointers to start the round might have fazed some players. However, the head was obviously kept down, and six of the next seven holes went down to par. The pace did not falter much on the back nine, and another 20 points there produced a handicap smashing tally of 41 for the day. And, just a little reminder for everybody that it pays to check your handicap on the sheet each week as, believe it or not, it does actually change from time to time.

Geoff started the round by chipping in for a birdie, and four points, on the first. This is often seen to be a bad omen. The PBSU followed with an eight on the second. Another birdie, and four points, on the 4th brought the game back into line, and helped us on the way to our tally of ten birdies for the day. Despite a couple of doubles, Geoff made the turn at nineteen points. Another four-pointer on the way home helped the back nine total to twenty, and second place on the podium for 39 points. With the field a little bit compacted today, Stef and his crew did a fair bit of waiting, on fairways and tees, for the green to clear. The waits didn’t seem to affect his game too much as he was able to put together a total of thirty-eight points, and settle himself comfortably onto the third podium level. A double bogie on the 16th probably prevented him from scoring par, or even better, on the back nine.

James played a very balanced round with 18 points on each half. A slight wobble at the start of the back nine might have cost him a higher placing. Porks produced the same score line with a pair of eighteens as well. So, the pair of pairs did their handicap no harm, and added a couple of points to their total for the fourth place of the day. Harry could only manage a pair of seventeens, but his total was enough to get him another fifth spot, and another point to add to his total.

There was a Jackpot ProPin on the 4th, and the green seemed to resist most attempts to get a ball onto it. There were a few nearly-almosts, but Geoff did manage to get one on to 2.39m which was enough to fill his sky-rocket with the cash. The first BallPin was on the 12th, and it was fairly fiercely contested. In the end, it was Peter who ended up closest to collect the ball on offer. Not to be outdone, Peter had another go on the 18th with a shot on the back of the green with the pin well to the front. His optimism proved fruitless, as somebody styling themselves Peter Porker barely made it to the front of the green, and caused great confusion when it came to presenting the ball after the round.

The matchplay Championship is going gang-busters at the moment, with three matches played today. There was the match between Porks and Mehm. On paper, there was not a lot between them, a mere four strokes to be precise. Despite Mehm’s best efforts, the score-line was pretty much a one way street with the match falling to Porks at the 13th, 6 and 5. Next we had Stef up against Adam. Or should that have been Adam up against Stef? Once again, the match looked to be pretty much a one-way street, and at the 11th, it was dormie 7, a pretty tough call on anybody’s terms. A square on the 12th gave the match to Stef, 7 and 6. Then we had Steve and James. It would have to be said that Steve did not get away to a particularly good start. He produced a rather unusual ‘draughtie’ on the first tee. It wasn’t that he didn’t make it to the red markers on the first tee, he didn’t even make it to the blue markers on the 10th tee. The physics of the shot has baffled some of the best golf minds around. Anyway, in the heat of the moment, it seems that the tallying of scores went a little haywire, and so, the match did not quite finish when they thought it did. It is unlikely that this would have changed the match result, but it did change the final score. The match was actually dormie 5 at the 13th, moved to dormie 4 at the 14th, and finally finished 4 and 3 to James at the 15th.

Pepsi was a bit on ‘edge’ today as he lost count of the number of putts that just managed to run past a mere millimetre or so from the hole. He was so desperate that he was asking Gordo for a putting lesson after Gordo managed to rattle in a long one for a birdie on the 11th. Zimmer seemed to be particularly unimpressed with his performance today, and the only reportable bit was that it ‘was a waste of five hours’. Bob reckons that he has finally sorted his battery problems after taking it back to the shop for the 20th time to be advised that he had been supplied with the wrong charger/fitting for the unit. There was some concern that he might break down instead after his knee started making funny noises after an incident on the 14th tee. Look after yourself, Bobby, you’ve got to make the best of that buggy!

The Birthday Birdie was a little late checking his list, and so missed out on the chance to wish SOS a big one for today. If somebody had known, there might have even been an ale on offer. Later in the week, Joe will be pulling out the stops (or the tops) to celebrate as well.

Results for Saturday, 15 Apr 2023
1st Sean Farrell (41) 2nd Geoff Lyall (39) 3rd Stefan Belevski (38) 4th James Hale (36) 4th Ryan Porker (36) 5th Harry Boughen (34)

Seniors Results: 1st Sean Farrell (41) 2nd Geoff Lyall (39) 3rd Harry Boughen (34)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Geoff Lyall BallPin No 1 – 12th Peter Sein BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker

A line of showers passed over the course a while before tee time, and there were suggestions that the greens might be unplayable due to casual water. Prez and Michael sussed out the situation and declared that all was good, so the twelve members who managed to get themselves from under the feathers girded their loins for the fray, and strode purposefully to the first tee. As it turned out, a couple of the greens did have a few patches wet enough to take relief from. Other than that, the course was in fine condition, even if a little less ‘runny’ than it has been in recent weeks. That, and the ‘heavy air’, copped a bit of the blame for the occasional shot that did not reach quite as far as might have been imagined in those ‘wild erratic fancies’. The sun managed to break through a few times, and there were just a couple of spots of rain. However, very few umbrellas were unfurled, and a few jackets were removed as the competition, if not the day, heated up.

There is a, perhaps unjustified, feeling that Par is not the preferred competition type among members (and golfers in general). One member was moved to comment upon this fact on the first tee, but he added the rider that he often seems to do all right at the format. Maybe it was all the practice that he managed to get in while he was swanning around up on the Gold Coast, but Capt. Matt set a cracking pace to finish the first nine just two strokes over the card and with a handsome three points to the good. The pace looked to continue on the back, where he opened with a birdie (one of only two that we scored for the day). The resulting plus was soon offset, and seven squares meant that the scoreline stayed at +3 (and the stroke count only four over the card), which was more than enough to take the top spot and top points for the day.

Stef was only two points behind in second place, and maybe his excuse was that he was often having to wait on the tee. Not because the group in front was slow, but because he was waiting for them to clear the green. He and Porks both put their drives onto the green on the 14th. Stef managed to get the other birdie for the day, and so the Eagle is resting easy for at least another week as the Raider of the Lost Nest, Ryan, could only manage a par on the hole. This little putting ‘lapse’ left Porks with an evenly balanced card and a square, handicap matching bottom line, and third place.

Geoff started off a little shakily. Someone left his clubs out in the rain….. – to bastardise a song line! As a result, he spent a fair bit of time wringing water out of the grips so that he had some chance of holding onto them and not flinging them down the fairway after the ball. He wouldn’t have had to fling his driver too far on the second, and the resultant draughtie provide Matt with his free beer. By about the 5th, the grips must have been handleable, because the scoring turned around and a plus three on the back turned the card into a fairly respectable -1 for 4th place. However, he didn’t have the podium to himself, because he was joined by Andrew. There was a suggestion that there was a modicum of ‘luck’ in getting to that score, although there was a suggestion that he was channelling the Priems when a shot heading for the pondage on the 5th hit a tree and finished mid-fairway. And he was obviously channelling Stef when his drive on the 11th finished on the 12th tee, raising questions as to whether his current handicap was a fair thing. Despite playing in ‘longs’, Harry was playing in ‘shorts’ today, and was frustrated in his search for scores by needing to sink mid-length putts. His final effort of -3 was enough to gather the last point on offer for 5th place.

The ProPin today was set on the 4th. The tee was a little way back, but the green should have been an easy enough target, despite the wet grass and the heavy air. Raj tried to bamboozle the Match Committee by writing out the ticket at 19ft 11inches. However, the ball marker was not deployed, so a quick check, by the expedient of pulling out the tape to determine the equivalent metric, confirmed that it must have been outside 5m, and so, there will be a Jackpot ProPin on the 4th next week. The first BallPin was on the 15th and Porks had his name on the card, although ever-hopeful Harry did pace his out only to find he was about a pace too far. On the 18th, Raj seems to have read the correct side of the tape, though maybe that one was single scaled, when he measured his shot which collected our ball, if not the inside ProPin.

Gordo and Stan decided that they would play their second round match today. Gordon wasn’t too happy about having to give Stan thirteen strokes, of which seven were on the back nine. But, as it turned out, the match was pretty evenly balanced. The score was never more than one hole either way, and the lead changed several times during the match. After the 16th, it was all square. On the 17th, Gordon was down in five, and Stan was on the green in two. Surely he was going to win the hole. Not quite, as he took five (yes, five) to put the ball away and the match was dormie 1 Gordon’s way. All Gordon had to do was to square the last. Needing to chip on, he carefully moved the inside tape holder out of his way, only to scuff the shot and finish still short. The next shot was looking good, until it hit the NTP marker that had been carefully placed by Raj. Two putts handed to hole to Stan. So, the match ended up all square and required a chip-off. Gordo and Stan both over-cooked the first chip a bit, and the pair of putts apiece called for a second round. Stan scuffed his to finish well short, and Gordo looked to have a chance to be well-placed after his. Except that his chip hit Stan’s ball, and finished a similar distance from the hole. Stan scuffed his putt while Gordon sank his, and so Gordon was able to advance to the third round while Stan had to console himself with what might have been.

Michael apparently went close to joining Geoff in the draughtie club on the 8th tee. He took an almighty divot and the ball travelled not much more than 10m. Fortunately, the distance to the red markers was less than that. Rob swears that the divot was so deep that he was in danger of turning his ankle in it. You would reckon that people who carry their bag would only carry a minimum number of balls, if only to keep the weight down a bit (CJ comes to mind). However, when Andrew picked up his bag from the verandah after the presentations, an indeterminate number of balls escaped the confines to scatter far and wide, down the stairs and across the pavement as well.

For those that had the Priems Cup pencilled in as their ‘must-do’ item for next week, it has been postponed for two weeks to the 29th April. It seems that there is just the small matter of Rob’s son getting married next Saturday, and the Captains will be otherwise occupied, even though the wedding isn’t until at least 1500! Just joking.

Results for Saturday, 08 Apr 2023
1st Matt Hunt (+3) 2nd Stefan Belevski (+1) 3rd Ryan Porker (□) 4th Geoff Lyall (-1) 4th Andrew Noble (-1) 5th Harry Boughen (-3)

Seniors Results: 1st Geoff Lyall (-1) 2nd Harry Boughen (-3) 3rd Michael Gourlay (-4)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 15th Ryan Porker BallPin No 2 – 18th Rajesh Mahto

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There was a touch of anticipation in the air as everyone kept an eye out for the possible ‘joke’ that somebody might try when you were unawares. There was a suggestion that reports of last night’s footy results were part of a media/AFL hoax, but, judging by the smiles on the faces of Woneye et al, that idea was easily scotched. The early morning overcast was no joke either, and the first drives down the first hole were just a tad hard to follow. Things should be a bit clearer next week after the clocks go back by an hour tonight. The F1 drivers will probably appreciate the extra hour of sleep that this will afford them. As the morning progressed, the overcast did break up and the sun peeked through on occasion until later in the morning when the weather took on a slightly more threatening pose once again. Fortunately, all seventeen members were well back in the clubhouse by then, and we could sit back and complain about how the greens were too fast, and the greens were too slow, and the greens were a bit furry, and the greens were perfectly fine, and there should be preferred lies, and the lies were perfectly fine (those on the fairway, not those being told). All in all, a fairly normal post-round recap.

As the cards came in, by ones and by twos, you could almost hear the wheels turning and the abacus clicking as the prospect of a three-way count back seemed more and more likely. One voice of reason suggested that the opera ain’t over until the fat lady sings, when, lo and behold, in waltzed Adam and handed in his card with everybody’s favourite number (69) on the bottom line. It was definitely a card with potential, with several doubles and one triple, suggesting that this could be the player to watch one day soon. Next in the ranking were the ‘terrible twins’ Stef and Ryan, who were joined by their long lost triplet, Geoff with 70 net. Stef might have been much better placed if the flat stick had been working for him today. As an example, his drive on the 14th hit the green on the full, obviously with spin, to bounce once and to stop, not all that far from the hole. Far from slotting the eagle, Stef barely managed to get his par. Some of the pin placings today were ‘difficult’ to say the least, so it wasn’t all that surprising to hear that Porks had putted off the green. Except that it was the 8th green, probably one of the flattest on the course. Geoff, on the other hand, joined the group by sinking a 12m putt from the lower deck on the 18th to score a par for the hole.

Harry was content with his lot as he was consistently carding his one-overs. After doing some pruning with what was a well struck tee-shot on the 8th, there occurred something of a slump, that took a bit of shine off the round. A late burst brought a modicum of respectability to the score that finished up at 71. Sean had a bit of a shocker on the 2nd, but other than that his card was, overall, pretty respectable, and he was able to share second place. Blighty’s first hole did not really inspire, although he did claim that he hadn’t held a club for a month other than nine holes during the week. Reducing the strokes taken by one per hole seemed like a good plan, even though it would have needed an albatross on the 6th. All went well until a par on the 4th broke the sequence, and he had to start again on the 5th (we won’t mention how many!). Questions were being asked about Brendon’s placing, with suggestions that he ‘did an Ed’ after winning his match by making a triple on the next hole. CJ was also labouring with the burden of a match, but the smattering of doubles across his card was the most obvious fault with his game, and his 72 net tied it up with Blighty and Brendon in 4th place. Pepsi seemed to have a bit of a problem on the par threes, and he probably wasn’t too happy with his drive on the 17th when he was noticed playing his second from not too far off the 18th green. Dale put in his first appearance for some little time, though it is suspected that he has been playing away (at golf, that is). His round of 73, tied up with Pepsi, and also resulted in his first Championship point for this year.

The first BallPin was on the 4th, with the white tees well back and cramped to one side of the tee box. The prospect of a jackpot seemed good until Stef and Adam came along and made sure that there wasn’t. Adam, being the closer, collected the ball. On the 18th, Porks was the only contender, and that, together with his ball from the ball run, brought his ball stock back up to about fifty. The ProPin was on the 12th, and Harry figured that he had cruelled his chances by hitting one to about 2m on Thursday. Even if he had repeated the performance, he wouldn’t have beaten Geoff, who left his at 1.77m. Geoff didn’t make the birdie, and neither did too many other people, as we only managed to score five for the day.

The last two matches of the first round of the matchplay Championship were completed today. Round 2 matches can be played at any time up to the official start of the second round (06 May), provided that both contestants agree to play. After the start of the round, the ‘both present, you play’ rule will be enforced. The first match today was between Brendon and JQ. It was said that JQ played a ‘treemendous’ round. Anything that could go wrong involving trees, probably did. Balls lodged in trees. Shots stymied by trees. Balls deflected by trees. You name it, it happened. As a result, after about the fifth hole, it was pretty much a one-way street, and the match went dormie six after the 12th. An easy win on the 13th (trees could have been involved) gave the match to Brendon 7 and 5. Brendon’s 7 on the 14th, certainly got JQ’s dander up. CJ had to do battle with Adam, with whom he seemed to be pretty evenly matched. The scoring ebbed and flowed throughout, but the occasional win for CJ was never quite enough to get his nose in front. A pair of wins on the 11th and 12th raised his hopes a little, but Adam struck back and sealed the deal at the 16th, 3 and 2.

The Birthday Birdie has a very special Turkish birthday wish for Mehmet, who might have to restrict his celebrations to the evening, rather than an all-day affair. Whichever way you celebrate, have a good one, matey. ChrisJ raised a couple of eyebrows when he was spotted teeing off with a seven wood. He sconed a few, trying to hit it as far as his driver, but, as it was a brand-new club, he wanted to give it a try-out. Harry was also sporting a new fairway wood, thanks, in part, to the generous gift from the Club recently awarded. An opinion was expressed that Zimmer must have been injected with a gramophone needle, as he talks more during the round than CJ.

After the round, there was the AGM of the Club, that dealt mainly with essential business to complete the last year’s activities. Full details will be circulated in the minutes of the meeting. The new Committee has been installed with a welcome scattering of new faces. A full listing will be posted on the web-site. One position was not filled, that of Social Secretary. It’s not a particularly onerous job for the most part (see the job description that was circulated recently), with the main impost towards the end of the year to arrange the trophy acquisition. But, never fear, the rest of the Committee (and the outgoing SS) would be there to coach and support. If you would like to put your hand up, just slip an email to Craig and Rob, and you will be welcomed with open arms.

Results for Saturday, 01 Apr 2023
1st Adam King (69) 2nd Stefan Belevski (70) 2nd Geoff Lyall (70) 2nd Ryan Porker (70) 3rd Harry Boughen (71) 3rd Sean Farrell (71) 4th Andrew Blight (72) 4th Brendon Mitchell (72) 4th Chris Priems (72) 5th Andrew Petricola (73) 5th Dale Webb (73)

Seniors Results: 1st Geoff Lyall (70) 2nd Harry Boughen (71) 2nd Sean Farrell (71) 3rd Andrew Blight (72) 3rd Chris Priems (72)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Geoff Lyall BallPin No 1 – 4th Adam King BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker

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What a lovely day for golf, and wearing an Hawaiian shirt! The temperature probably wasn’t exactly Hawaiian to start with, but it did warm up enough for the layers to be removed later in the morning. There were eighteen members out on the course to start with, but JQ found something more important to do after the 13th and had to dash off. The numbers were bolstered by several who didn’t play last week, partly offsetting those who couldn’t make it to complete the event. Keith made it for the lunch afterwards, and we look forward to him being able to make it onto the tees once more. Rodger turned up a bit late after loitering a little too long over his paper while scoffing a Big Mac, and then was further delayed by a traffic jam, outside a church, of all places. A bit of swift rearrangement by the Tee Marshal soon had things in order.

Zimmer headed out with a steely look in his eye and made little in the way of mistakes to play right to his handicap for 36 points, which, when added to his first round tally of 38 gave him a grand total of seventy-four points. This was the best total for the event, but, unfortunately, the Comeback Kid did not start his comeback early enough, and he was not qualified to win the trophy.

Porks headed out with some hope in his heart, but the efforts with the driver on the first two holes did not do much to inspire, but he was able to recover enough to post 15 points on the front. He found his MoJo on the back and took one more stroke than par to bring the total points for the day to 35, and for the event to 71. CJ went close to chipping in a couple of times, and, on three occasions, he left putts within millimetres of the hole. He reckoned that those putts probably cost him the trophy. And, he was probably right, because he finished all tied up with Ryan, and the trophy was determined by a countback on the back nine, which Ryan won 20 points to 19.

After his sterling effort last week, Andrew had a bit of trouble getting a run of scoring today. Although there were twelve scores of two or better, the pair of gashes on the back did not help the cause at all. The one on the 17th was quite a doozie. There were a few eyebrows raised when Andrew and Zimmer were spotted walking across the 18th from the west. It is reckoned that the ball was actually hit by the shaft of the club, and it headed far right, over the safety fence and across the practice green. Certainly not the sort of shot that you see very often. Despite this, the total of sixty-nine was enough to make a reasonably respectable third place.

Stef played a well-balanced game today and made 38 strokes on both nines. As usual, his big hitting threatened the greens on most holes, and the 11th was no exception, where the ball finished almost pin high. The thirty-three points that were produced brought his total for the event to 67 which scored a share of fourth place. Geoff had a pretty rough trot on the front nine and managed to find a fair number of trees that did not help the scoring very much at all. However, he really knuckled down on the back nine and barely missed a beat to produce 20 points for a share of the fourth place with Stef. Raj made one of the better rounds of the day, which helped from being out of the placings last week to just into the placings in fifth place overall. As for the rest, better luck next time!

The Double Jackpot BallPin on the 4th went very close to being a Triple as group after group passed through to no avail. However, Porks did manage to get his ball onto the green, although only just by about the diameter of a ball, and thus he was able to collect the three balls on offer. The second BallPin on the 18th went to Andrew, who obviously had a better tee shot than he did on the 17th. He didn’t have to get particularly close as he only had Harry, who was ever hopeful with his shot sitting at around 11.6m, to beat. The ProPin was on the 15th, and the money went to Stef, and we have to take his word as to the distance because the kit is in his car. There will be guts for garters if he doesn’t show up next week. The crazy thing is, he reported a four on the hole, so it was his other birdies that contributed to the eight that we managed for the day.

SOS finished with a not too spectacular score, but, it seems that his tee shot on the 17th was something to behold as it soared across the trees and was deemed by all and sundry to be on the green for sure. Despite a diligent search, it was nowhere to be found. Targe went close to finding himself in a tricky spot when his drive from the 16th headed right and hit a nearby tree right on a crack in the bark/trunk. The ball hesitated for a moment before falling to the ground right at the base of the tree. Bob had his usual tales of hard luck, but on the 14th green he had a longish putt and called the result to sink it. CJ also had a moderately long curling putt on the same hole, and he read it to perfection as it curled around and dropped ever so gently into the hole for the birdie. He wasn’t too happy about his four on the 15th, and deemed it to be a PBSU.

Don’t forget, we have the AGM after the round next week. There are still a couple of Committee positions that have not been nominated for, and any and all are up for challenge if you so have a mind. We would prefer to have nominations before the meeting, but they will be accepted from the floor. Details have been circulated by Craig, so check your email.

Results for Saturday, 25 Mar 2023
1st Kazim Akdag (38, 36, 74) 2nd Ryan Porker (36, 35, 71) 2nd Chris Priems (35, 36, 71) 3rd Andrew Noble (39, 30, 69) 4th Stefan Belevski (34, 33, 67) 4th Geoff Lyall (36, 31, 67) 5th Rajesh Mahto (31, 35, 66)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (35,36,71) 2nd Geoff Lyall (36,31,67) 3rd Harry Boughen (34,28,62)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Stefan Belevski BallPin No 1 – 4th Ryan Porker BallPin No 2 – 18th Andrew Noble