Category Archives: Club News

What a champion day.  The sky was blue, the birds were singing (or at least squarking) and the whole world was happy – except for the handicapper who can’t pay out on those who just happened to pick today to really put it together. But then, it just goes to show how highly thought of this particular event is to the Club members, and that means everybody, not just those who knew Stuart and the great work that he did for the Club.  Rodger normally wouldn’t miss it for quids but other family concerns have been occupying him of late but he surely gave us all a thought on the day.

Not sure whether Brendon has been lying low or whether the lessons he took from his Dad (Dave) actually paid off but a Monthly Medal to get him into the field at the death knock (December) and now the ultimate prize with a nett 62 has certainly been a good result for the lad from across the ditch.  As well as his two trophies Brendon also collected a 10 year service badge and a memento of his Hole-in-One earlier in the year.  And, it seems that he almost repeated the effort today with the ball just sneaking past the hole on the 4th to pick himself up another ball for the collection.  The ProPin was on the 15th and the man to collect the filthy lucre up for grabs was that crook grabster, SOS.

Other members presented (in absentia) with 10 year service medals were Noodles and Damo who either had to tear off to, or couldn’t tear themselves away from, commitments to that other ball sport that occupies centre stage during the summer months.

A very honourable Runner-up in the person of Pepsi who put together a one over par round to finish with a nett 64.  And it seems that Pepsi was not entirely happy with the way it went at times and was heard complaining about bad bounces and missed putts.  But it does seem that he is adjusting pretty quickly to the change in latitude as he spends more time in Melbourne.  As well as his trophy, Pepsi was also presented with Life Membership of the Club in recognition of the long and dedicated service over the years.  In accepting the Award, Pepsi recalled having arrived at the Club as a mere youth under the care of the likes of Chrispy’s dad and Neil Argall.  Neil was able to be with us for the Christmas lunch and was welcomed by all and sundry.

Other who were not too far off the pace were Eddie, Oliver and ChrisV who have all been fairly prominent in events throughout the year.  None more so that Eddie who collected both the Open and the Seniors Championship Trophies.

For those that did not grace the top podium in any of the Medals and Majors during the year, there was the event affectionately known as the Chump of Chumps.  No shiny silver-ware or glitzy medals to be won, just the smell of some competition to keep the day interesting.  So, who was able to wrest the title of the Best of the Rest – none other that Tarcissius himself.  For those not in the know, he usually calls himself Targe.  Close behind was Mal who has been putting a few good rounds together of late and showing that age is no barrier to playing the game.  Michael came in next  and this was despite some very obvious discomfort when trying to take a full swing.  But he just casually posted a par equalling score for the front nine and only slipped slightly on the back to finish 2 over for the round whilst still being somewhat upset with how badly he was playing.

The Christmas lunch was replete with any amount of roast turkey, ham and beef along with spuds and corn and a range of salads.  For a while there the only sound was the clash of cutlery and the gnashing of teeth punctuated by the occasional round of raucous laughter.  All of this washed down and lubricated by a steady flow of pale ale and just the occasional glass of red wine.  One or two abstemious types did restrict themselves to a glass of water or two.  When everyone was suitably sated, our esteemed President, Gordon, got on with the serious business of presenting the trophies contested over the last year of competition.  The list of winners is too long to list here but the full list can be found on the Hall of Fame page.  A collection of photos will also be posted.

In other news from the fairways, Chrispy seemed to be quite proud of the fact that he had taken an ‘airie’ in a round that was generally less than stellar but not as bad as some.  Paul also owned up to similar outcomes but when he does make contact with the ball he fairly makes it fly though the direction can leave a little to be desired.  Harry was not too far off the line of one shot from the tee on the 14th as he made his way up the 16th.  The Beast almost had a draughtie on the 1st which was not a good start for a bloke who left his swing at St Andrews and still hasn’t managed to get it back.  Maybe the Scots have bottled it – or maybe Bill has.

SOS was complaining that the group in front hadn’t let him know that his drive on the 14th had strayed outside the posts and saved him the walk back to the tee.  It turns out they did actually signal but SOS was so cranky with the straying shot that he didn’t notice and actually brought it on himself.  Another one who got cranky with himself was Snags who DQ’d himself from our event on the 2nd hole after walking past his ball.  It’s not clear whether he was just too lazy to go back but reports have it that he can’t have been going too bad as he racked up 21 points on the front nine for the inside comp.  CraigC achieved a similar result by forgetting that we were playing stroke and picked up his ball when the Stableford points ran out.

When it was obvious that they were out of contention in all events, one group tried to make things a bit more interesting by playing the last two holes with nominated clubs.  On the 17th it was the wedge and, lo and behold, Chrispy managed to par the darned thing.  Guess what he might take in the 3-Club event next year.  On the 18th it was driver and this proved to be only marginally more difficult with Mehm winning the hole with a bogie.

There were a few unfamiliar familiar faces around as well.  David Howard turned up out of the Blue(s) and rumour has it that he might be planning a comeback if he can fit it around his work and studies.  John Quinlan is back from his sojourn in the Old Dart and is planning to grace the fairways with his presence once more.  Another face familiar to some of the longer term members, and planning a come-back is Gerry Barber.  And of course not forgetting Allan who is doing his best to get himself a good handicap when he puts in his third card.

In other member news, Trevor has not been well and is spending some time in Hospital having tests to try to determine exactly the cause of the problem.  It was certainly causing him serious problems with his balance last week as he struggled gamely to finish the round.  We all wish him the best and a speedy recovery to get back on the greens at Royal Ivanhoe.

Next week is another social round so you can come out and turn in the good scores with impunity.  You will be credited with a club attendance which could prove to be useful for qualification for the January Monthly Medal the following week.  Numbers might be limited though so if you are intending to be there, registering through the website as soon as possible would be in order so that we can book extra spots if required.

Nominations for the Committee are open.

The Committee consists of�

                         (a)  a President; and

                         (b)  a Vice-President; and

                         (c)  a Secretary; and

                         (d)  a Treasurer; and

                         (e)  up to four ordinary members (if any) elected under rule 53 which provides the following:

(1)  At the annual general meeting, separate elections must be held for each of the following positions�

1.  President;
2.  Secretary;
3.  Social Secretary;
4. Rules Official;
5. Handicapper

(2)  If only one member is nominated for the position, the Chairperson of the meeting must declare the member elected to the position.

(3)  If more than one member is nominated, a ballot must be held in accordance with rule 54.

The Club Captain is also a member of Committee and nominations are welcome.

We would also like to receive nominations for non-committee positions of Tee Marshall(s) and Assistant Handicapper.  These can be filled by official Committee members if required.

Please don’t be afraid to campaign or canvass for any of these positions no matter what your length of membership.  New blood might be exactly what is required to take the Club on the bigger and better things.

Results for Saturday, 20 December 2014

Champion of Champions Brendon Mitchell (62)  Runner-up Andrew Petricola (64) Second Runners-up Oliver Gross, Eddie Kloprogge, Chris Vinecombe (66)

Chump of Chumps Targe Mifsud (66) Runner-up Mal Fleming (68) Second Runner-up Michael Gourlay (70)

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Get a grip.  Or at least get a new grip somebody said.  And that is exactly what young Ryan did.  A few hours on the driving range  and he put together last week’s stellar round.  The nay-sayers were whispering – he could easily slip back to his old habits.  Gordo was licking his chops and honing his acceptance speech.  CraigC was lurking in the background and not saying a lot but maybe quietly thinking – I can handle this young whipper-snapper.  But the sprinter turned out to have a bit of the stayer in him and a bit more practice on the driving range did enough to keep the new grip in place and Ryan beat his old handicap again which just added a little touch of salt to the wounds inflicted by the handicapper for the previous weeks effort.  Anyway, a sterling effort all round and a well deserved place in the Champion of Champions play-off next week.  Unfortunately, that will be off the new mark but the flying start to the Championship year has to be some consolation.  The only slightly suss aspect was the fact that the purchaser of this horse in the Calcutta was marking his card but careful checking has shown no irregularities.  Ryan should be able to buy himself a few more hours at the range with his divvie from the All-in pool.

Speaking about the new Championship year, the committee decided that there would be a slight change to the handicapping calculations this year and the let outs for those not breaking their handicap have been swapped around and those 18.5 and above will now go out by 0.3 while those below that mark will go out by 0.2.  In another addition to the Championship Points, there will be Bonus Points (3 each) for the members of the winning Yellow Ball Teams.  A trial of other Bonus Events will be held at various stages through the year.  The Bonus Wins will appear in a separate column in the Championship Table Report.

The round of the day today, which went close to emulating that of Ryan last week, went to Oliver who, as a result slipped into place as the Runner-up for the Vin O’Meara, equalling par overall off the stick for a nett score of 60.  On the back nine, 3 appeared on the card on no less than six holes which translates into a fair number of birdies.  And apparently, a couple of the putts that resulted in bogies could easily have gone the other way and a sub-par round was definitely up there amongst the possibilities.

Speaking of birdies, perhaps we should talk first about eagles.  There were actually two carded today.  The first was down to Noodles on the 3rd and the second was by Michael on the 14th.  Now, despite the discussion that went on after the game, the rules actually provide that the nest is shared in these circumstances.  It’s only if there is only one ball in the nest that the first eagle takes preference.  So congratulations to the both of you (2 balls each) and if the spoils have already been delivered to Noods he had better grin and bear it and make good next week.  On the birdies front, it fairly rained them today with a grand total of 25 and that despite some tricky pin placements and fast greens.

Now we get down to the points getters.  Gordon was pretty steady over the two weeks but needed to have made a bit more of an effort today to grasp the glittering prize but at the end of the day, he could only manage to gather the points that come with third place but better than a poke in the eye with a burning stick.  And his backers in the Calcutta will be pretty happy.

Keith was so confident with some of his putting that at times the group were in danger of having to call the ground staff to reposition the cup after he had rattled them in so hard.  He also managed to pull off what seemed to be an unlikely par after negotiating water hazards and bunkers to post a nett 64 and edge his way into 4th place.  Last in the points race were CraigC and Noodles who put in steady rounds to end up on 131 apiece.  Noodles did it a bit tough on the 14th green which admittedly had the pin in a (normal) nasty spot and it was running pretty fast.  At about this stage there were calls going out for the Butter Menthols as up till then, he had been going OK.

Whilst CraigC slipped a bit today, his excellent results in the previous two weeks meant that he was able to hang on to his lead in the Stroke Play Championship and took out the trophy with 196 nett which put him just in front of the fast finishing Oliver who ended with 198.  Stefan finished up in third place just a stroke behind on 199.  It has been pointed out that Stefan is one of the few players in the Club with a Club handicap that is higher than his GA handicap and when you can put a drive a couple of metres short of the 16th green you do have to wonder.  To Stefan’s credit, he did offer to put in new cards but we opted to let him come back at his old handicap.

The Nearest the Pin for a ball was put on the 7th today just to add a bit of interest.  There were a few ‘nearly-almosts’ but eventually Michael managed to put one on and put his name on the marker.  Then, he left it lying on the ground.  Gordon came along and claims that his ball was within a metre or so of the hole but he didn’t see the marker and as a result didn’t put his name on it or bring it back in to the club-house.  If it was so close Gordo, how come you didn’t get the birdie?  The ProPin was placed on the 15th and it too was looking pretty bare until along came Zimmer and put one within the required distance to block out all later comers but with the pin well back, the ball was only just on the green.

Allan Davies assures us that he has definitely retired this time and he won’t be doing any more Dame Nellies.  He has put in his first card to acquire his new handicap and looks as if he plans to grace us with his presence on a regular basis from now on.  Unless of course he gets the urge to go caravanning around Australia again.

Chrispy skin chicken was spotted trying to pull off some precision golf on the 8th from behind the hazard near the 6th green.  Under that branch and over those trees was all it needed said the big man.  Well, he hit the branch and went into the trees (and the hazard).  Reloads.  Same shot.  Hit the same branch, hit the same trees but this time the ricochet took him out onto the fairway so no chance of emulating Mehm’s effort on the 17th a couple of weeks ago.

Don’t forget, next week is a social day so the results won’t affect handicap and there are no Championship Points.  Next points round will be the January Monthly Medal.  By the way, the new Calendar is available on the website.

The following players will be competing for the Stuart Clarke Champion of Champions Trophy.

Mehmet, Chrispy, Eddie, Whitey, Noodles, SOS, Snags, Gordon, ChrisV, Damo, Beast, Brendon, Oliver, Ryan, CraigC.

The rest will be competing for the Chump of Chumps and working up an appetite for the Christmas Lunch afterwards which will also include some drinks at the bar.  And not forgetting, of course, the presentation of trophies to the skillful winners from this year.

Results for Saturday, 13 December 2014
1st Ryan Porker(57, 65, 122) 2nd Oliver Gross(68, 60, 128) 3rd Gordon Hill(64, 65, 129) 4th Keith Delzoppo(66, 64, 130) 5th Stephen Butterfield(66, 65, 131) 5th Craig Cameron(62, 69, 131)

Another excellent roll-up today despite the thunder and lightning during the early hours.  Nobody seems to have been put off as there was virtually a full field with only one of the nominations not fronting the starter and that was due to family reasons and not the effects of the storm.  Some of the runners don’t seem to have realised that this is a race for stayers and they have sprinted away at a fine old clip to hold a good lead in the back straight but it will be interesting to see how they hold up around the turn and into the home straight.

There were rumours doing the rounds after the game that Ryan had been seen lurking in the back streets around Windy Hill and calls for an investigation by ASADA to determine whether he tested positive for performance enhancing substances.  However, it seems that the real story is that he spent most of the week at the driving range working to develop a new grip.  And it seems to have been very effective in turning around somebody who scored 94/107/102 over the last three weeks into a monster that can card a 78 (nett 57) this week.  And they hung Ned Kelly!  Well done Ryan, but watch your back.

And one of the men to be watching is CraigC who also played a bit above his recent form and included three birdies in his card to give his eclectic a flying start.  In case you are wondering, the Eclectic table will be published next week with the final results for the Vin O’Meara.  And while on the topic of birdies, we managed eleven of the little blighters this week which wasn’t a really big number but did include one from the oldest dude in the Club, Mal, on the 17th, sinking a pretty impressive putt to do the job.  Just to prove that he isn’t always ‘two-putt’ Fleming.

Yet another player to watch in this high stakes game is none other than Gordo, our fearless firey President.  He too has been languishing a bit of late but maybe it is the prospect of a clean slate on the Championship Points table and the chance to get a flying start that has invigorated his state of mind and his game.

Ryan’s mate Chris is also up there and there-abouts with a more than respectable nett score of 65 and maybe if he takes a few pointers from Ryan and spends the week on the driving range he just might be able to make a match of it.  He’ll be able to afford at least some of the range fees as he put one close enough on the 15th to collect the ProPin.  The distance was under 5 metres but exactly how much could not be determined as the measuring tape seems to have gone missing.  For the other Nearest the Pin for a ball on the 12th seems to have been left to Gordon and once again, it wasn’t all that close.  Perhaps that lack of accuracy explains the small number of birdies.

When Mehm read out the results, he opined that those with higher scores than these were out of it so the people to thank their lucky stars are Keith, Noodles and Michael.  All would have to be pretty happy with their round, but with nine strokes to make up in one round, there would have to be something major going on, one way or another.

Despite how your horses went this week, we have your name and we know where you live and the monies will be collected for all those horses that were sold and that started this week.

In other news, it can be reported that Mehm improved his score on the 17th by 15 strokes which would just about have to set a record for the biggest turn-around on a single hole from one week to the next.  CraigS is apparently in the market for a new driver after something went wrong during the round.  Not sure whether it went wrong with the club itself or whether the club was an innocent victim.  Snags also had to rush off to be a bar-b-que – or was that to be AT a bar-b-q.  SOS was putting his Academy training to good use today by using his feet to rough up the greens on other people’s line.  And Pepsi was heard to be complaining about how he had been pulling it all day.  Maybe that is why his golf was off the pace a little.  Pepsi would have added to the birdie total a couple of times today if it hadn’t been for the fact that he birdied the holes with his second off the tee.

And now, the thing you have all been waiting for.  The groups for next week will be:

1. Laurie, Mehmet, Eddie, Brendon
2. Chrispy, Mal, Bobbie, Snags
3. Harry, SOS, Pepsi, Trev
4. Zimmer, Stef, Targe, Oliver
5. Michael, Noodles, Keith, ChrisV
6. Gordon, CraigC, Ryan

Any other players will fit into group 0 or take the place of late scratchings (if that makes sense).

There have been some definite moves on the leader Board for the Club Stroke Play Championship, the biggest of which was down to Ryan after today’s sterling performance.  CraigC has taken over top spot with a bit of a comfortable lead over Michael and Stef.  As an aside, Michael was successful in winning both the scratch and A-grade in the course Championships and the Club was very well represented in the field though the gongs were a little thin on the ground other than for Michael.  In case you haven’t found them, our leaderboards appear under the Competitions menu.

VIN O’MEARA LEADER BOARD – ROUND 1

1st Ryan Porker(57) 2nd Craig Cameron(62) 3rd Gordon Hill(64) 4th Chris Vinecombe(65) 5th Stephen Butterfield(66) 5th Keith Delzoppo(66) 5th Michael Gourlay(66)

The last chance to win a Medal for this year. the thrill of the chase bidding for the horses in the Calcutta, the thought of sizzling snags (no, not Craig), the beautiful weather or just the prospect of good golf and good company.  Whatever it was, it brought the numbers out in droves again and we had pretty much a full complement out on the tees.  Kiwi Dave was here again and the time that he has been putting in coaching son, Brendon, seems to be paying off at last.  Though, it must be said that Brendon did not card the best score submitted.  That honour went to Mark, who, unfortunately did not meet the criteria of having played in the last month to be eligible for the Medal.  Still, that’s the way the golf ball bounces sometimes.

Brendon did not have it easy though as his nett score was tied with Stefan however his higher handicap won the day for him in the count-back that was necessary to break the tie.  Stefan will have to come back next year and tidy up his front nine to try for some heavy metal to hang around his neck.

CraigC was playing in exalted company today as he was teamed up with Michael and Pepsi, our two low markers but he seems to have been unfazed by the prospect and kept his head down to bring home the third place bacon.  It seems that the anticipated shoot- out between Michael and Pepsi went off with more of a whimper than a bang and some are wondering whether Pepsi went a bit flat in the face of such opposition.  Michael kept on bubbling however and put together another of his 70 off the beater rounds to claim his fourth (mostly fourth) placing in a row.

Next in line, and playing exactly to his handicap was the Man Who Never Was, at least to some of our newer members, so rarely does he grace the hallowed fields of Ivanhoe with his presence.  And Rodger didn’t have it on his own-some as he was joined by none other than that son of a gun, Targe.

The ProPin was set at the 12th today and from the back tees it didn’t seem to be that easy a target but at least one member managed to put it within spitting distance of that very elusive beast the hole-in-one.  Well done Stefan for putting it within about 300mm of the hole which pretty much excluded anybody else from the competition.  A similar difficulty was in play on the 12th for the Nearest the Pin for a ball and the Denizen of the Darklands, Dennis was the man to put it pin high but a few metres out to the west of the hole.  Dennis didn’t manage to get the birdie but there were a total of 15 today which is a pretty fair average for the number of players in the field.

One man who did get a birdie was Paul who was playing today to put in his second card towards his handicap and he did it pretty easily on the 6th.  However, the hole of the day for Paul, had to be the 11th when his drive hit the pine tree and bounced hard left to finish at the feet of a player on the 2nd.  The second shot threaded through the spotted gums towards the green.  A less than successful chip ended just off the green and he proceeded to chip it into the hole for the ‘easiest’ of pars.

So, there was some very good scoring done today and you would have to say that there was some pretty ordinary scoring done as well.  Some of the less-do-wells spread their misfortune out over the whole round but at least one made an heroic effort to concentrate a very sorry tale into a single hole.  Even the computer objected at the prospect of having to digest a score of twenty-two (yes 22) on the one hole.  How can this be you might ask.  Well, all it requires, is for you to put nine balls either into a water hazard or out-of-bounds.  And it seems that Mehm did this from a spot that he didn’t even have to play the ball from after the first one went into the hazard, but, he just kept blazing away.  Must have a good supplier of balls or he gets them really cheap somewhere.

One of the upshots of this was that none of the contenders for the Title of Club Champion managed to gather any points from todays event and the almost undisputed Champion for 2014 is none other than Ed.  He came in at the beginning of the year with the stated intention of taking out the big one and, lo and behold, he went out and did it.  It wasn’t a one horse race, however, as it was one of the closest run things that we have had for quite a few years.  Mehmet might have had a chance today, except for the 17th, but he will have to settle for runner-up and set himself a target to do better next year.  Chrispy hung on to gather third place and if it hadn’t been for his gypsy caravan weekends and trips to Mansfield, the ultimate prize might very well have been his.

The Seniors Championship was also a bit of a close run thing and once again it has turned out that we have a dual Champion as the man at the top of the list at the end of the year was none other than Ed again as he squeezed out Bill and Oliver who were in with some sort of a chance to the bitter end.

Then there was the Eclectic.  This required the scoring of a goodly share of birdies and the occasional eagle to be in with a chance.  And the one who came in with the chance was our number one twit(ter) in the person of Noodles who grossed 52 for a nett of 46.2, almost a stroke in front of his nearest contender Oliver.  And both had eagles to their name.

Next week sees the start of a new competition year with the prestigious Vin O’Meara stroke event that also forms the last two rounds of the stroke play Championship.  Sorry about todays result Mehm.

Of course, the Vin O’Meara is the subject of our annual Calcutta Auction that was carried out after todays event.  The state is obviously in a very good position after four years of a Liberal administration as the bidding was vigourous with plenty of competition for the favoured runners.  Whether the same will be able to be said next year is still somewhat up in the air.  The top price was paid for Stagehand who will be under the capable hands of jockey Ed Kloprogge.  Whilst there has been more than a little noise from the owners camp during the year, the recent form has been a bit under the weather and it is the brave punter that puts his eggs in this basket.  But then again, if you want to make an omelette, you first have to break some eggs.

There are a few changes coming up in the competition  in the coming year and president Gordo will be making an announcement on the committee decisions in the very near future.  In the meantime, we look forward to the next couple of weeks of competition and the Champion of Champions event on the 20th December that will be our break-up and presentation day as well.  If we can get an early indication of number for this event that will help immensely with the catering for the Christmas lunch.  To this end we will be surveying over the next two weeks and advice by e-mail or phone would be greatly appreciated if you are not attending the events.

Results for Saturday, 29 November 2014
1st Mark Berthelsen(64) 2nd Stefan Belevski(65) 2nd Brendon Mitchell(65) Medal (c/b) 3rd Craig Cameron(66) 4th Michael Gourlay(67) 5th Rodger Clarke(68) 5th Targe Mifsud(68)