Category Archives: Club News

It would have been pretty foggy down on the river flats of Ivanhoe if the view from an Eltham bedroom window was any guide.  Still, it seems that the field did get away and a fine lot of fellows it was.  The numbers wouldn’t have been quite so large if it hadn’t been for some ex-members who were in town and decided to chance their arm at Ivanhoe for old times sake.  The names were, and I hope these are correct, Jason Gratton, Derek McDonald and Darren Kernow and some of our longer term members should know them.  They also saw fit to bring along a couple of extras and so we had a field of some twenty players of which 13 were fully fledged members and Paul Jones was along to get in his third card and so he too now qualifies for competition with a very handy handicap of 28.  If past history is any guide then we should be hearing more of Paul in the very near future.  Reports have it that he is in negotiations for some new artillery so it does sound as if he means business.  Welcome to the Club, Paul.

Now, it has been a little while since we have seen Noodles smiling face on the top podium and this is his first for this year.  Maybe he is a bit of a mud-runner although the reports on the course condition suggest that it wasn’t too bad considering the amount and continuity of the rain events that have been passing through.  Maybe some of the drainage works are actually having an effect though the carts are causing more than a little damage to the fairways in some of the wetter spots.  So, a pretty fair result of 39 points for Noodles and from a quick look at the card it could easily have been a few better.

Brendon has obviously gotten a bit skittish with the prospect of Chrispy breathing down his neck in the Championship and he is keen to keep up the point scoring without doing too much damage to his handicap.  And so it was today that he managed to come in second, thereby avoiding a winners penalty, and played to his handicap thereby avoiding any change to his handicap.  In the process he managed to get a birdie on a hole that wasn’t on his eclectic card and he now has the outright lead in that event (again).  There is only one hole on his card without a birdie against it and so improving further is going to be tough with eagles the best chance from now on.  While on the subject of birdies there were a total of 11 for the members today and for some reason, one of the popular holes for that accolade was the first.  The hazards of even getting a par on the first have been mentioned before so maybe the birdies had their effect on scoring as well.

Ryan’s life has been in a bit of chaos just recently with a move of household interfering with all sorts of activities.  Stuff lost in boxes, internet connections not made and so forth.  However, it doesn’t seem to have affected his golf too much as he was able to sneak into third place with a score of 35 points and from the number of singletons on the card, he too could have improved on that without too much difficulty.  It seems that he went very close to having a windie on the 11th but the ball did actually move and so it can only really count as a draughtie.  Perhaps he is just saving himself for the next two weeks.

Targe and Rob managed to come in in 4th place with a total of 34 points which wasn’t a bad feat given that Rob also managed to pull off a draughtie during the round.  Targe was rather pleased that a gentlemen’s agreement allowed to shouts to cancel out otherwise he might have been unable to drive himself home.   And, bringing up the rear in 5th spot was Mehmet and Michael who was one of the ones that birdied the first.  Whether he feels inclined to use that as an excuse or not, he wasn’t that happy with the way that he played after last week’s performance.

The BallPin this week was on the 18th and Brendon, as usual, used his little measuring device to get the distance millimetre perfect (without the slope of course) but his shot was just a little off and he could only get it within a ‘foot’ or so (still hasn’t completely converted to metric it seems) but that was enough to collect the ball and to break Rob’s heart.  Brendon and Rob were deeply engrossed in their semi-final matchplay round and the match had been nip and tuck for the whole round with the largest margin 2 points very early in the round and each had their turn at being up and down.  So it was all square after the 17th and with a stroke on the 18th Rob must have been a good chance to at least square the match and take it to a chip off.  Needless to say, Brendon got the birdie and Rob needed the par to come home even.  Unfortunately, the putt refused to drop and the match went to Brendon 1 up.

Brendon’s laser was obviously on the spot today as he also managed to put it close on the ProPin hole 15th to collect the loot for today and to reclaim the dosh from that old reprobate Jack Potts from last week’s non-event.  It seems that baby-sitting duties will keep Brendon off the course for the next couple of weeks which will be a good opportunity to catch up some points with the Winter Cup occupying the attention of members over the next two weeks.

‘Tis the season to be movin’.  Gordon got the keys to his new house and had to give the golf a miss to help with the relocating.  He’d have been happy to leave it to his wife and a man in a van but the problem was that he had to be the man in a van.

The birthday birdie has a wish for one of our (very) occasional members who has now moved pretty much permanently out of town, so if Graham is listening, don’t celebrate too hard mate.

Brendon (is there anyone else in the Club?) has signed up for DryJuly which is a very worthy fund-raising effort.  Probably explains why he didn’t enforce the draughtie shouts today but he wonders whether anybody would like to offer their support in a financial way.  You can do so by following this link Support Brendon and he will be eternally grateful particularly if he doesn’t go troppo after a month on the dry.  But watch out when he gets back on it.

Simon will be away with a road show for a couple of weeks but Targe has a supply of the Club shirts and has the list for cap orders.  So, if you want to look as good as Brendon bring along your cash and put in your orders and maybe you too can get to the Matchplay Finals.

Results for Saturday, 09 July 2016
1st Stephen Butterfield(39) 2nd Brendon Mitchell(36) 3rd Ryan Porker(35) 4th Targe Mifsud(34) 4th Robert Priems(34) 5th Mehmet Akdag(33) 5th Michael Gourlay(33)

Seniors Results: 1st Targe Mifsud (34) 2nd Bill Eastoe (31) 2nd Simon Powell (31) 3rd Bob McDonald (29)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 15th Brendon Mitchell BallPin 18th Brendon Mitchell

There were obviously a few clouds around but the sun was clearly bright enough to warrant the use of sun-glasses and one member was moved to describe the conditions as gorgeous.  So, that is probably why 19 people (18 members and a probationer) were able to get themselves out and about to compete for the July Monthly Medal.  Well, it could have been a competition if it hadn’t been for a couple of spoilsports who did their level best to make it a no contest.

Now, we have heard a lot about frozen shoulders and the impact that this condition can have on your golf game.  One reported effect is to force you to slow down and to take a shorter backswing.  If that is the secret of Michael’s recent form, then maybe there are a couple of other members who could take a salutary lesson from his recent success.  Another round equalling the par rating of the course for a nett score of 65 was enough to get the Medal for Michael by a comfortable margin.  What also needs to be taken into account is the fact that the course was quite wet and soft and the round was played from the back markers so, all in all, a remarkably good round.

The new artillery gracing Chrispy’s bag must be just about broken in by this and this is evidenced by his position on the second podium this week.  His round brought him home with a nett score of 67 and there were a couple of spots where there was room for improvement.  The points have proved useful and Chrispy is now getting within sniffing distance of the Championship lead.  If the clubs keep up the good work, we could very well have a contest on our hands in very short order.

Damo was with us again and, but for a bit of a slow start with a couple of double bogies early on, he could easily also have challenged for the main prize.  As it was, his 69 was enough to get him third spot on the day.  He had to share the spot with Noodles who also might have done better if not for a fat lady on the second.  And that had nothing to do with his on-line dating activities – or did it?

SOS put in a pretty steady round with no major blemishes and stepped up on his own to collect a couple of points.  JohnQ is back in the country (only just) and could easily have been jet-lagged to come in with 73.  Interestingly, he also met up with the fat lady on the 2nd.  Must be something about that hole.  Targe managed to squeeze onto the podium alongside John.

The BallPin today was on the 12th and it was up to our first card prospective member Matty Chrimes to get it closer than all the rest to add a ball to his collection.  A bit of a Chrime really!  As a result, his first card has a birdie on it (pity it won’t count for the eclectic).  Not a bad way to welcome a new member.  While on the subject of birdies, there were only 9 carded for the day and at least three of those were down to Michael.  There weren’t a lot on movements on the Eclectic table but we now have a tie for first between Brendon and Rob with still a bit of a gap to second place.  Still, there is a little way to go yet before the end of the year.

The ProPin was on the 18th and it seems that the closest contender was that mysterious member Jack Potts.  As he is never around to collect, the committee has little option but to instruct the Treasurer to add the funds to the pool for next week.  Given the other events on the day, there was always some chance that Jobson Growth might have won the day.

At long last, the Birthday Birdie has got something to get out of his nest for.  Pepsi will be loosening up his tonsils for a big celebration this week and, although we haven’t seen him of late, Mick McDonald will pass another milestone as well.

In other news from the course, there was some concern that balls might have gone missing in action.  It does seem that there were quite a few that did get lost, particularly from one group.  It’s a bit hard to believe but Chrispy, Rob, Simon and Damo are reported to have lost at least one ball on nearly every hole.  Michael and Joe were particulary concerned about the intentions of a kookaburra on one of the greens (8th?) when they found him eyeing off their balls – or so they thought.  In fact, he was more interested in the worms traversing the green but he was also content to pose for the camera as well.

Now, we all know that ‘global warming’ is knocking the climate into a cocked hat but things must really be going wrong if we are getting reports of magpie swooping in early July.  But maybe, all is not what it seems.  The tale seems to involve Damo and a sausage roll and the exact sequence of events is a bit cryptic.  The upshot is that the Deniers can rest easy, for a while at least, as the maggies haven’t started nesting just yet.  Not too sure about a certain football team though.

 

There were no reports passed on about draughties for this round.  If you are thinking of having one during the next month, then it might be an idea to execute it while you are playing with Brendon.  He seems to have signed up for Dry July and it would the ultimate irony if he had to knock back the opportunity to benefit from the misfortunes of another Club member.

Simon has done a great job with the acquisition of the new batch of Club shirts and they are now available for the very competitive price of $20.  He has also negotiated for caps in a matching design to be available for $12 and these will be provided on an order basis.  So, get your orders in to Simon.  To give you an idea of what you are in for, Chrispresident stepped up to the plate and agreed to provide an extra glimpse of how good you could look in the club gear.  Not that Michael doesn’t look good as well.  For good measure, here’s a peep at the cap in more detail.

As announced previously, an extension of time was granted for the completion of the Matchplay Semi-finals.  JohnQ and Laurie and Brendon and Rob have to play their matches this coming week or come to an agreement on the result and advise the outcome.

The Annual Challenge at Numurkah is also in need of some attention by members.  Last year’s event was voted to be an excellent opportunity for some golf and fellowship (not necessarily in that order) and there will be plenty of competitions to play for during the two days of play.  Gordon is taking the registrations and monies can be transferred or handed over at the earliest opportunity so that numbers can be finalised.  Gordon will promulgate further details in due course.

Results for Saturday, 02 July 2016

1st Michael Gourlay(65) 2nd Chris Priems(67) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(69) 3rd Damien Lee(69) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan(70) 5th Targe Mifsud(73) 5th John Quinlan(73)

Seniors Results: 1st Targe Mifsud (73) 2nd Bill Eastoe (74) 2nd Dennis Ward (74) 3rd Gordon Hill (75)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 18th Jackpot BallPin 12th Matty Chrimes

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What a jolly good time we all had trying to decide who had the best balls.  You know what I mean – which ball was in the best place for the next shot.  After who knows how many years of scheduling a round of Ambrose competition we finally managed to get well enough organised to actually play it and seventeen members and two guests managed to get around the course without actually coming to blows.  There was one report of mutiny in the ranks when Captain Chrispy was over-ruled by his crew on the 13th where they only managed to get a par.  Priemsy reckoned his shot would have resulted in a birdie.  Didn’t matter though, the team wouldn’t have placed anyway.

The course has softened up more than somewhat and it is a shame that people can walk off the green and leave craters to rival those on the moon with no attempt at repair.  But, there were no lost balls due to plugging in the soft patches though there were quite a number left out there from shots that weren’t quite up the hi-diddle-diddle.

Whitey got in touch during the week to ask if it was OK to bring a couple of guests along, Matty Chrimes and Dick (More Comebacks than Melba) Hall.  Oh, and by the way, would it be possible that they could be grouped together.  As it turned out, that was possible provided that they were teamed with Damo to bring their team handicap into line with the rest of the field.  As it turned out, that was all that was needed (Damo to be on the team that is) for them to come out winners of the day with their 62 off the stick for a nett of 55.1.  Sounds like Damo could have done it by himself and he was a bit cheesed about their (only) bogie on the 18th.  For their trouble, they collected a pair of balls from the depths of SOS’s dilly bag and it seems that, as a result, Matty is inspired (or coerced) into coming back for some more.

For a bloke who wasn’t going to play because there were no points on offer, Mehm, for some reason opted for a morning on the course rather than a morning at home with the family.  For his sins, he was teamed up with Harry, the Beast and Blighty.  As the low marker, Mehm was the team captain and occasionally had a tough time making a decision between distance and the need to get the required number of tee shots for each team member.  After opting for distance on the 8th, he had little choice on the 9th but to accept some extra distance to the green in the interests of balancing the drives taken.  As it turned out, his shot to the edge of the green and Harry’s all-the-way putt made the birdie and the team turned at one under par.  Three more birdies on the back brought in a card of 64 off the stick and second place with a nett 57.0.  The ball apiece for the second place was gratefully accepted by the team.

The ProPin, with a ante of $2 per player, was well worth the getting but for a while there was a little concern that nobody would get within the 5m qualifying distance, though arguably the event should have been nominated as an open event.  As it turned out, there was little cause for worry as ever reliable Gordon (aka Moneybags) stepped up and put his drive to 0.71m and well and truly qualified and shut out the rest of the field.  There was some discussion as to whether the ProPin was a team event as well but the decision seems to have been determined (by Gordon) in the negative (unlike the referendum in the UK).  Gordon even slotted the birdie putt for his team.

The BallPin was located on the 15th and there were a number of shots that gave the marker that Damo put out a bit of a scare.  However, the biggest scare came from Chrispy who did manage to get it closer than Damien and so he was able to collect himself a nice yellow ball for the shot.

Such was the intensity of the competition that groups did not repair immediately to the clubhouse but hung around and took great delight in sledging the following groups as they putted out on the 18th.  There should have been some on the 17th after the Beast put his drive about a metre and a half past the hole.  He opted to take first putt and let it slip by but guaranteed the team at least a birdie and with three more chances for the eagle result.  Mehm ran his putt just past the hole to the right and Harry followed an almost identical track and distance.  And so, it was up the Blighty to save the day.  The putt ran true on line to the centre of the hole and stopped about 5mm short.  Close but no cigar.

The 3rd was a bit of a nemesis for some reason today.  Dennis had a draughtie and when the shout went up from Chrispy his question was, Hey, isn’t this a team event?  All’s fair in love and beer as they say.  Dennis did hold the view, however, that it was a bit unfair as the ladies tee was 200m in front of the men’s.  Though that probably was a bit of an exaggeration.  Still there must have been something going on because Trev and Targe experienced the same fate on that very spot.

The tee markers on the 15th were well forward and for some reason Harry decided to park his buggy off the path and half way up the slope.  As he turned away, the buggy capsized and contents spilled far and wide.  Mehm reckons he’s never seen so many tees.  Harry reckons you never know when you might need a spare.

When Chrispy did his David Cameron and resigned his commission after the ‘mutiny on the 13th’ Noodles expressed the opinion the he was the worst captain since Richie Vandenberg anyway.  Perhaps a bit harsh, but whether that is on Richie or Chrispy, I’m not exactly sure.  Maybe it was all down to Chrispy distracting his team members by seeking some sort of relief or by shoving his clubs somewhere but presumably into his bag and not to gain relief.

There were a couple of other examples of the quandary engendered by the need to get players names on the drive card and the desire to use the absolute best shot.  Dennis needed one more shot on the card when they teed off the 17th and so it was decided to take his shot even though it wasn’t that well placed.  The team managed a par.  With the weight of responsibility off his shoulders, Dennis put his next shot onto the green at the 18th.  Not sure what hole it was, but Ryan had cracked a boomer of a drive to within 10m of the green but a desperate need to fill the drive card necessitated taking a much longer approach from Targe’s effort.  Sometimes there have to be sacrifices.  Speaking of Targe, he was noticed sidling up to Matty on the pretext of introducing himself  but most think the real reason was that he wanted to check whether Matty was shorter than him.  Unfortunately, not!

Though the course is generally pretty good there are a few slippery patches and one of these, that was also a bit of a slope, caught Damo unawares and he went down with quite a thump.  Chrispy is planning to check the news tonight for mentions of earth tremors.  Thankfully, all was good with Damo and when he assured his team mates that he was OK, they showed their relief by having a bit of a laugh.  Or at least we hope that’s what it was.

Simon had hoped that the Club shirts would have been ready this week but a minor technical glitch means that they now should be ready for next week.  So, those planning to turn up for the Monthly Medal probably would be well advised to stick a brick in the old hip pocket as Simon will be walking around with his hand stuck out.

Registrations for Numurkah are still open and it seems that numbers are still a bit light on.  Gordon really needs to know asap so that he can confirm with the Club up there.  Cash will be accepted but direct bank transfer is by far the tidiest way to manage it.

For those that might be wondering (other than Essendon supporters) the Editor is reliably informed that the picture is of one Patrick Ambrose.  Hey, I forgot the camera, OK!

Results for Saturday, 25 June 2016
1st Matty Chrimes Dick Hall Damien Lee Rod White (62, 55.1) 2nd Mehmet Akdag Andrew Blight Harry Boughen Bill Eastoe (64, 57.0)

BallPin 15th Chris Priems  ProPin 12th Gordon Hill

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It seems as if the winter blues have set in although, astronomically speaking, winter actually hasn’t started yet.  Preferred lies look like being something of a fixture for a while and the winter weeds are starting to thrive even if the turf isn’t just yet.  But the complaints about the lack of run and plugging balls have started to get their run alongside the condition of the tees and the placement of the pins.  Still, at least fifteen members decided to brave the conditions and were duly rewarded, or not, as the case may be.  Joe started out but had to pull the pin part way due to a household emergency, something to do with petrol in diesel or vice versa.  Whichever way, it didn’t sound good or cheap.

The rumours around the course had it that it was all over bar the shouting with somebody on 23 points at the turn but as they say, hope springs eternal  and it ain’t over till the fat lady sings and everybody just kept on keeping on with the hope of at least scoring a point or two.  A four pointer on the 10th suggested that the back was going to be a repeat of the front when all of a sudden the engine sprang a bit of an oil leak that, by the 16th and 17th, had grown to a veritable flood.  A par on the last stemmed the flow just enough to get Brendon home with 37 points for another first placing and a leap to quite a significant lead on the Championship Table.  Not a lot of damage to the handicap though.  The course of the matchplay finals will be interesting and some Championship contenders are hoping for some upset results.

Although Chrispy didn’t get to open his shoulders at Rich River and see what the new clubs really could do (something to do with boggy roads or the effects of the night before or both) he obviously has settled them in and held the Clubhouse lead for a while with his card of 36 points.  It also could have been the effect of the winter weight pants that he was wearing that seem to have made him almost unrecognisable out on the course in contrast to his usual shorts or jeans.  According to one report they made him look shorter or were they confusing him with Targe?

SOS was playing alongside Brendon and went close to matching the champ on the front nine and actually did match him on the back so that he finished two points off the pace to come in third place with 35 points.  Maybe they were just too close and the form evaporated in synchrony.  As it turned out, SOS was joined in 3rd place by Noodles who (along with his marker) managed to miss one of his index holes and sold himself a point short.

That left a pair only in 4th place and the first of the Seniors with Blighty and Harry tying it up with 34 points apiece.  Last, but not least on the podium today was Bob with 32 points.  Targe might have been there alongside him but for a misallocation of points on one hole.  And that was after much crosschecking of scores after the round.  Still, they did have to swap cards around after Joe was called away.  Bob gets a couple of Seniors points and Targe collects one which, unfortunately for Simon, tipped him out of the list for this week at least.

The BallPin today was on the 4th and Whitey put in one of his better shots today to within a couple of metres.  He missed the putt by the narrowest of margins and so did not contribute to today’s, fairly ordinary, total of 8 birdies.  The ProPin was on the 15th and, although the winner felt that he didn’t really deserve it, he took the Jackpot anyway.  It was a bit of a highlight for Steve as he did get the birdie from 4.11 metres.

Actually, Steve did have an interesting golfing story to tell from during the week.  A message from a mate at RACV Torquay nominated a tee time.  Steve arrived but no sign of his mate so messaged – on practice green, where are you.  Mate responded – me too don’t see you.  Turns out Steve was at Torquay, mate was at Kingston Heath.  Talk about crossed lines!

Whitey didn’t have the best day out on the course today and he swears that the 3rd has a jinx on him, and the 11th, and the 17th.  Then again maybe it was just that he was keen to get away to some mega-buck auction.  Not that he was going to bid – or so he said.  Harry, Blighty and Dennis bemoaned the fact that they were too honest putting the ProPin marker out on the nominated hole after all three finished within measuring distance on the 18th.

When asked about the effect of the course condition on his game, Mehm responded that he wasn’t sure whether to blame the conditions or the person holding the club.  Everybody can relate to that thought, Mehm.  JQ is one that has had a bit to say about some of the pin placements out on the course.  The pin on the 11th had been placed on one of the few high points on the green, in all probability to protect it from being located in the centre of a pond.  So, what does JQ do but land his chip a bit short of the pin and after a couple of bounces it plops into the hole for the par.  At least it saved him from the possibility of a 4-putt option to a particularly tricky spot.  Simon was another one who rescued a par from an unlikely spot by chipping in.

DennisW hasn’t played for a little while and the rust showed a bit for the first few holes.  He was particularly astray on the 3rd with the ball heading well out of bounds for sure.  That is until it hit a tree branch that brought it back into play and ahead of the red markers, though not by very much.  How different it could have been.  It seems that the field was draughtie free today.  Either that or nobody was owning up.

Noodles had to send out a carrier pigeon this morning to reserve himself a spot in the last group.  Something about having to go into work.  Not two words that you often see associated, Noodles and work.  And while on the subject of pigeons, Ed was noticed wandering around the course today.  The shoulder is reported to be coming along fine so maybe it won’t be too long before Ed is able to pick up a club again.

Next week is to be a social round.  It will be an Ambrose teams and the rules have been circulated to everybody (that has an email address anyway).  There will be some balls on offer but no championship points.  Not too sure about the Eagles Nest but I’m pretty sure that it won’t be in play.  So that we can have some idea of the handicap distribution that we have to work with could everybody please let us know by email or by the Registration page whether you will be attending or not.

Simon reports that the new shirts will be imminent and could be available next week or shortly after and so he will be looking to collect your $20 for what promises to be a very nice shirt for the price that you have to pay.

Annual Challenge registrations are also still available and if you plan to go and haven’t already please let Gordon know and transfer the funds to the Club Account.  If you prefer, it is possible to deliver the folding stuff direct to SOS but electronic is just so much tidier.

Results for Saturday, 18 June 2016
1st Brendon Mitchell(37) 2nd Chris Priems(36) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(35) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan(35) 4th Andrew Blight(34) 4th Harry Boughen(34) 5th Bob McDonald(32)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Blight (34) 1st Harry Boughen (34) 2nd Bob McDonald (32) 3rd Targe Mifsud (31)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 15th Stephen Kelly BallPin 4th Rodney White