Category Archives: Club News

During the week, there was a certain amount of rumbling but not much tumbling, at least in most parts of Melbourne anyway.  Still, a bit of rain is better than none and the course is looking all the better for it.  The fairways look a picture and still have more than a modicum of run in them but the greens did seem a little softer with a number of un-repaired pitch marks in evidence.  One approach by Noodles saw the ball remain embedded where it landed.  Noodles even asked if it was OK for him to lift the ball and repair the mark.  Harry felt like saying no!  The sun was out and the temperature soon climbed to a very comfortable level and nineteen players had what could be described as ideal conditions to test themselves against the vagaries of the game of golf.

Bill’s main aim today was not to win but to fill in as many of the missing birdies on his Eclectic card as possible and he was pleased to be able to hand in a card with three circles marking what he hoped were the elusive missing links.  Those three were a significant contribution to the total of eight that we managed to get on the day but, unfortunately, only one of them fell into the missing category on his Eclectic.  So, now, he has to get two of the missing ones next week if he wants to have any chance of whipping the prize from under Blighty’s nose.  Remember Bill, it’s the par threes that you need, not the par fours.

Anyway, in the process of trying to catch Blighty, Bill managed to put together 37 points and put in the highest score of the day.  He didn’t have all the glory to himself though.  The practice on the sand scrapes has obviously done Targe the world of good and he has presented to the judges for the second week in a row since getting back from his peregrinations around the country.

It was a tough day for competition out on the course today and Harry and Noodles were drawn in the same group with Noodles needing to get a fair jump on Harry and Harry needing to stay, if not in front of Noodles, at least not too far behind.  Harry started out well putting together eleven points in four holes while Noodles, by his own calculation, had thrown more clubs than he had points in the same distance.  But, with fourteen holes to go, the day was far from over.  A couple of gashes meant that, by the turn,  Harry’s eight point lead had been reduced to three and it was game on.  Noodles fairly played out of his skin on the back and missed by a whisker at parring the nine.  Harry had the better of the points until a run in with the hazard on the 17th resulted in another gash and by the end of the round, Harry had the better of Noodles by 36 points to 35.  The battle for second place goes on!

Simon and DennisW are both recently returned from sabbatical and haven’t wasted any time showing their faces on the podium.  Dennis was having a bit of trouble with his accuracy that ended up costing him dearly due to an uncharacteristic fade.  Attempts to correct said fade more often than not finished with trouble on the other side of the fairway.  Simon went to the mechanic for a tune-up during the week and he showed her the prompt card that he had written for himself.  He had to explain that it was meant to be read from left to right, not top to bottom.  The latter way of going could be interpreted quite differently particularly when you got to to the reminder to ‘cock wrists’.  He also reckons he didn’t need his carburetor to be tickled to get him going.

Both Craig and Jason started out well on the front nine.  Jason, apparently, had very little sleep since finishing work early this morning and his buggy broke down part way around so it is perhaps not surprising that he faded somewhat on the back nine.  Craig was not able to offer any excuses but he was perfectly happy to accept the point on offer.

It is coming up to Christmas so it is perhaps appropriate that there should be some money on offer to help to pay for the gifties to fill Santa’s sack.  So, it is entirely reasonable that nobody should make it within tape distance of the pin on the 4th and the 18th and there will be a double jackpot on both up for grabs next week.  Who said the 4th wasn’t a good spot for the ProPin?  The BallPin on the 12th was contested with Simon getting his name on the card after a close call with DennisW only to be knocked off by Chrispy who obviously put it even closer.

MattN managed to par the 13th but not without a little help from his friends.  He flighted it in from 80m out straight in line with the pin.  So much so, that it hit the top of the pin and stopped dead to drop to the ground within tap-in distance of the hole.  Luck’s a fortune!  MattH, who is taking part in the Movember event and is struggling a bit to come to terms with the caterpillar that has settled on his top lip, had a similar piece of luck after a shot on the 8th, that was heading so far out of bounds that Dight’s Falls was the likely next stop, hit a tree and came to rest in the middle of the fairway after missing several trees on the way back.  He didn’t make a par though.

Everybody knows about the Priems luck when it comes to using trees to improve the outcome of errant shots.  There is a hint that it might not be genetic after a shot by Jake on the 11th bounced to the base of a tree and nestled in a hole in the trunk.  Interestingly, DennisW had a remarkably similar result on the same hole on Thursday.  Could even have been the same hole, same tree.  Dennis used a shot from Tim Cahill’s repertoire to get the ball into a more favourable position.  There is no report as to how Jake played the shot.  And, while dealing with Dennis (T, that is) he was saddled with the embarrassment of playing the incorrect ball on the 18th.  And, just to rub salt into the wound, it was the ball that RodG had ‘lost’ when playing the 17th.  At least Rod was happy to get his ball back.

Brendon wasn’t able to play today because he had a ballet lesson.  He’d changed out of his tutu and points and was at the Course for a putting lesson.  He obviously means business for the Stroke Play Championship that starts next week (for three weeks) and for the Vin O’Meara that occupies the remaining two weeks.  Very few people have advised their intentions for the Vin O’Meara and we would particularly like to know who will not be playing both days so that we do not unnecessarily complicate things with the Calcutta Auction that will be run next week after the December Monthly Medal.

If there are any perpetual trophies out there, unbolt them from their secure mounting and bring them in so that Gordon can get the badges updated for the presentations on the 16th December.  Subscriptions are due and if they are not paid by the end of the month you will be ineligible for points until such time as they are paid.  GolfLink memberships will also be suspended.  Gordon is also looking for deposits for the Annual Challenge ($50 per person attending).  If we cut back the numbers that we have booked for it will not be possible to increase them later.  So, if you only think you will attend, pay the deposit.  We can refund further down the track if things change.

Results for Saturday, 18 November 2017
1st Bill Eastoe(37) 1st Targe Mifsud(37) 2nd Harry Boughen(36) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(35) 4th Simon Powell(34) 4th Dennis Ward(34) 5th Craig Cameron(33) 5th Jason Hopkins(33)

Seniors Results: 1st Bill Eastoe (37) 1st Targe Mifsud (37) 2nd Harry Boughen (36) 3rd Dennis Ward (34) 3rd Simon Powell (34)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 4th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 12th Chris Priems

Sumer is icumen in, Luhde sing cuccu…….  Sure and begorrah, it was a lovely day today.  The skies were blue and the white balls painted a lovely picture as they arced through the air and bounded along the fairways towards the green.  Well, sometimes they did.  And when they got to the greens?  Well, there was the small percentage of ‘pebbles’ in the sand, that the ground-staff spread on Thursday, that helped to keep the putting interesting.  Curiously, there seemed to be more stories of hard luck than of good luck as a result.  Obviously some malevolent pebbles around.  On the other hand some could blame unnoticed pitch-marks and gum-nuts for at least some of their putting woes.

The sandy greens were no bar for Targe though as he has been away for a month playing on courses with sand scrapes and so he felt right at home putting in a ‘gritty’ performance.  Ryan, on the other hand, has been struggling valiantly for over a year to get a chance to put his foot onto the top dais of the podium.  With the Calcutta Form Guide in preparation, this return to form might require a rethink of the ‘expert’ opinion that has been written.  But, with the one point break, the damage to the handicap has been a bit muted so there is still plenty of chance for a run at the first big trophy of the new playing year.

Chrispy’s mode of dress was a little more subdued this week and when questioned he reckons that he is only going to wear his loudmouth pants for Major Events.  He was also here under some duress as he has been suffering from a bad case of ‘man-flu’.  Some unkind souls suggested that he was still hung-over from last weekends celebrations.  Can’t be man-flu though as Chris reckons he caught it from Carolyn.  Noodles spent most of his time out on the course trying to find out how Harry was going and this could easily have detracted from the quality of his game that, in his view, was ‘crap’.  Simon is back from his extended stint of gigs during which he accumulated a mountain of frequent flyer points but didn’t get to hold a club at all so he was pretty happy to be joining Chrispy and Noodles in second place with a square card.

In next place we have a pair that will be fighting it out for the first prize in the Eclectic Table.  Bill made up a point on Blighty with one of his birdies today, which was one of only six today.  He went very close to making up another one on Blighty and collecting a swag of balls when he drove the 14th to pin high and just missed the eagle by a very narrow margin.  Bill has four holes without birdies and two weeks to get two of them to have a chance and three to ensure a win.  provided, of course that Blighty doesn’t come good on any of his spares in the meantime.  We now know why the beast was using Blighty as an aiming point for his drives and approach shots.  So, despite all that, a pair of -1 score cards got them the points for third place.

Pepsi had his ups and downs today.  On the 11th he went from the trees on the right into the bushes on the left of the green.  From there he poked it through a gap to short of the green and then calmly chipped it in for the par.. As they say in the classics, you don’t have to post pictures on Instagram.  Harry’s drive on the 12th fell a bit short and rolled back down to the base of the hill.  A sand-wedge floated up onto the green and finished about 75mm left of the hole.  Something of a highlight in an ordinary short game day.  No real goss on Dale but he was keen to tell tales on others so maybe he was diverting attention.  A fine trio in 4th place with -2 points.

There were a swag of people on -5 who were quite prepared to accept a point for their trouble.  Unfortunately for them, Allan came in with a -4 and scooped up the last point from under their noses.

The Nearest the Pin events continued the pattern of the last few weeks.  The BallPin was on the 12th and there was actually a bit of a contest with a number of names on the ticket.  The latest, and the ball winner, was Porks.  The mobile ProPin was on the 4th and, for those that looked askance when the selection was announced, what do you know, it has jackpotted to next week.  The ProPin on the 18th also went begging despite a few people getting their drives onto the green, none were close enough to worry the tape and this too will Jackpot to next week.  There were twenty members played this week, plus a couple of guests, so there will be a pool of $22 to build on for next week

Stefan was there, according to all reports, although he dashed off and did not leave his card.  The report has it that he actually drove the green on the 9th but he did a Bill and missed the eagle putt and so the baldy old Eagle survives yet another week and the clutch of eggs in the nest is now building to a sizeable total.  If the Jackpot ProPins don’t bring Stef back, the Eagles Nest surely will.

RodG wasn’t altogether happy with his performance with the flat stick today so he was more than happy to chip in on one hole so that he didn’t have to use the putter.  And, it wasn’t actually all that bad, as he was one of the ones bumped out of the points by Allan.  Rob hit one so far out of bounds on the 13th that there was a chance that it caused damage to one of the houses.  Rob, rather bravely, wandered across to see if it could be seen but when he spotted a home-owner glaring down from the verandah, he carefully made sure he looked innocently the other way.  Targe teed off from the 15th and put his ball out of bounds into the tennis club carpark.  He retrieved the ball and played a ‘practice’ shot towards the green and went close to putting that out of bounds as well on the far side of the green.

End of the year is now very close.  Anybody who is holding Perpetual Trophies could they please bring them along so that Gordon can get them engraved.  The Stroke Play Championship rounds are coming up (December MM and two rounds of the Vin O’Meara).  The Calcutta Form Guide is being prepared and the Auction will be held after the round on 25 November.  Can everybody advise their intentions about playing in this event (not at all, one week only, both weeks) so that we can eliminate the scratchings from the Auction schedule.  The Form Guide will be posted after next weeks round.

Club ($30) and GolfLink ($90) subscriptions are due and should be paid at your earliest opportunity.  We have to tidy up our GolfLink list and if you have not paid by the end of November you will be dropped from our list.  No ifs, buts or maybes.  If you are dropped, you cannot be re-instated until after our return is made and invoice settled.

The deposit payment to Rich River is due at the end of this week.  Deposit is $50 per person attending.  The Club needs the money to cover the cost but if your circumstances change between now and next October, your deposit to us will be refundable.  So, if you like, we are asking you for a loan.

Results for Saturday, 11 November 2017
1st Targe Mifsud(+1) 1st Ryan Porker(+1) 2nd Stephen Butterfield(□) 2nd Simon Powell(□) 2nd Chris Priems(□) 3rd Andrew Blight(-1) 3rd Bill Eastoe(-1) 4th Harry Boughen(-2) 4th Andrew Petricola(-2) 4th Dale Webb(-2) 5th Allan Davies(-4)

Seniors Results: 1st Targe Mifsud (+1) 2nd Simon Powell (□) 3rd Andrew Blight (-1) 3rd Bill Eastoe (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 4th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 12th Ryan Porker

It was Melbourne’s ‘unofficial’ long weekend.  There were a few dark looking clouds around.  And the dark clouds did rain on the parade for a while but never seriously enough to affect play.  It was a bit on the chilly side and there was a bit of a breeze helping to up the wind chill factor but no real need to skull them along the ground to keep them out of the wind.  And there were parties.  The Priems family celebrated long and hard last weekend and as Chrispy edges ever closer to his coveted membership of the Seniors ranks, his powers of recovery seem to be declining.  Or is he partying harder?  Michael was also suffering the effects of the night before.  Damo didn’t show, so he obviously wanted to work on his birthday hangover by himself.  Whatever the reasons, there were only 15 members turned up for the penultimate monthly medal of this year’s competition and hopes were high as a result.  Noodles’ main wish was that Harry would come in last, or at least below him and out of the points.  Trev’s hip gave out on the 9th and he had to withdraw.  Let’s hope it isn’t too serious and we see Trev back on the tee soon.

Well, if you didn’t have a hangover when you arrived at the course today you could be forgiven for thinking you were suffering DTs when you beheld the sight of Chrispy, resplendent in his John Daly pants.  People were reaching for their sun-glasses and SOS asked later whether he had really bought them.  Seems they were a family gift for his birthday and even Chrispy had a hard time adjusting when he looked down to putt.  His putting doesn’t seem to have been affected too badly, though he did manage to shank his irons about five or six times.  Despite all that, he managed to get around in 79 strokes for a net score of 67.  He wasn’t alone though as he played alongside Brent who wasn’t distracted by Chrispy FlashPants and he also carded 79 strokes and, with the same handicap as Chris, tied the score at 67.  So, the medal was decided by a count-back and Chrispy took the day with his 36 (nett 30) on the back, beating out Brent’s 38 (nett 32).  Welcome to the Priems family, Brent.  You’ll probably never hear the end of it.

Gordon wasn’t suffering from a hangover, that he was owning up to anyway.  But on the second, he confidently strode up to a ball and declared, this is my Srixon with red lines on it and proceeded to whack it further down the fairway.  As it turned out, Keith was also playing with a Srixon with red text and arrow printed on the ball and Gordon was dismayed to find out that he had struck the wrong ball.  Penalties ensued.  This left him with a card , net 70.  Except for three putts on what should have been a one putt green, the overall result could have been different entirely.  Gordon took some consolation in the fact that he got top points in the Seniors.  The Beast is one for looking for omens and alignments in the stars and he was looking for some sort of synchronicity between events when he walked up to a ball on the 11th (second hole on the back nine) and hit a ball (Srixon), partly obscured by a leaf, only to find that his (Srixon) actually lay half a metre or so away.  How spooky is that, Bill asked.  Not nearly as spooky as Halloween according to some reports.

Keith came out of his little hidey-hole today and, although he had his moments, he steered clear of the ibises (actually there weren’t any on the course) and put together a card reading 94 net 71.  Dale’s most exciting part of the game was marking Brent’s card and he too put in a very steady 93 net 71 to share the third place on the podium.  Bob, on the other hand had a s**t of a day (his words, not mine) but despite that he managed to get a net 72 and fill 4th place.  Bob obviously has very high standards.  He reckons he went close to getting a hole-in-one today but missed by trying too hard on the ‘misplaced’ ProPin hole, 15th.  the ball hit the pin and finished some 20m from the hole and off the green.

There were three players came in to fill 5th place with net 73.  Harry, who couldn’t hit the centre of the hole to save himself.  Noodles who was heard to be expressing his displeasure but didn’t abuse any personal equipment.  And Craig who just plugged away and didn’t say anything of note.

Chrispy did the tee marshall’s job and tried to blame Noodles for the fact that he set the 12th as the BallPin and the 15th as the mobile ProPin.  The nearest the Pin results are printed on the Handicap Sheet Chris!  So, when Gordon put his ball onto the 12th and survived a measure-off against DennisT he was a bit disappointed to find that it was just for the Ball.  However, when it came to the 18th, he was more than happy to put his name on the card when the ball finished 4.07m out from the pin.  This was also enough to get his name on the inside card as well.  The outcome of that event remains to be seen.

Blame it on the hangover but Michael had a triple bogie on the 13th which is a bit atypical for a man with a 2 handicap.  Not surprising, perhaps, that there was an angry person wanting to belt the daylights out of the ball on the 14th.  Well, the ball got right back at Michael and refused to progress beyond the Red markers.  It obviously calmed down by the 15th and very conveniently flew to 2.82m from the pin, whereupon Michael left his IOU for the draughtie as he needed to dash off on some errand or other (or to buy some Panadol).  No one of the Nearest the Pin winners were able to convert their good fortune into birdies and we only managed to score five for the day.  Pretty slim pickings.

The Birthday Birdie is busy this week.  Damo had his today and Mal and CraigC have theirs during the week.  Think of as one step closer to playing your age.  But have a great day and try to avoid hang-overs.

It’s getting very close to the end of the competition year and those members who have perpetual trophies should bring them back as soon as possible so the Gordon can get the plaques up to date for the presentations at the Christmas break-up.  Also, if everybody can let him know if you are planning to attend so that he can get the catering correct.  We’d hate anybody to miss out but even more importantly, we’d hate to pay for more than we need.

Also, can everybody get to and pay their subscriptions for next year ($30 for Club and $90 for GolfLink).  Bank transfer is preferred.  If you are planning not to re-join or to change your GolfLink status please let Harry know as soon as possible so that our records can be updated so that we do not incur unrecoverable expenses.

Gordon will be circulating everybody again but, if possible we would like people to reserve a place at the Annual Challenge by paying a deposit of $50 per adult person attending.  Even if you are not sure, a pre-emptive payment will help the Club to meet the Rich River deposit requirements later this month and if your circumstances change, the deposits will be refundable.

Results for Saturday, 04 November 2017
1st Chris Priems(67) MM (c/b) 1st Brent Rowley(67) 2nd Gordon Hill(70) 3rd Keith Delzoppo(71) 3rd Dale Webb(71) 4th Bob McDonald(72) 5th Harry Boughen(73) 5th Stephen Butterfield(73) 5th Craig Cameron(73)

Seniors Results: 1st Gordon Hill (70) 2nd Keith Delzoppo (71) 3rd Bob McDonald (72)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Michael Gourlay ProPin No 2 18th Gordon Hill BallPin 12th Gordon Hill

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Smiling faces were pretty thin on the ground this morning.  There was apparently some sort of family function on today that kept about 75% on the members away from the important business of playing golf.  But, there were enough smiling faces around for there to be a ‘proper’ competition and nine members set out buoyed by the thought that there could be points to be had.  Harry turned up, doubtful that he might play due to some eye irritation.  But, after a cup of coffee and hearing that Noodles was going to turn up, there was something of a recovery and Harry was in the field.  Noodles went close to getting ducked today.  No, he wasn’t playing cricket and it isn’t mis-spelled.  As he walked towards his ball on the 11th he went close to a pair of ducks and their brood of eight and after a certain amount of hackle raising and hissing (by the duck), it decided to attack and Noodles had to run for cover.  So, you could say we had a serving of duck with noodles or Number 69 on the menu.!

There was very little ducking and weaving for Stefan today as he regularly peppered the greens from the tee.  On the green at the 11th. just short at the 13th, pin high on the 14th – the points just kept adding up.  Four points for his birdie on the 13th was just one of three featheries that he scored and there were only six in total for the day but with the small field that is perhaps not unexpected.  When interviewed after the round, Stef expressed the view that it was a ‘pretty crap’ round but perhaps his opinion as a little bit coloured by having taken three putts on two of the last three holes.  Forty points is still a pretty flash score and the handicapper was fairly salivating at the prospect of wielding his little axe.

Next behind Stef with 35 points was Joe who started off like a house on fire to put together 20 points by the turn.  A couple of non-scoring holes on the back nine limited Joe to 15 points but at least it left his handicap safe for another day.  Now, Joe has been out getting in some practice during the week and he uses this opportunity to fulfill some of his child caring duties and he is quite convinced that the young fellow is already taking an interest in the game – when he isn’t thinking of eating that is.

Porks revealed that he is really a right hander but that he plays left-handed because his father did.  This prompted Noodles to challenge him to a driving competition using each others club.  It was probably a draw as Noodles put his well and truly out of bounds while Ryan went close to qualifying for a draughtie with his.  Despite the shenanigans, Ryan was able to keep it together enough for his quite good front nine to carry him to a total of 32 points and a share of third place.  The Beast played a couple of steady halves but he was driving pretty well and he was able to drive the 11th and make the birdie and so was able to share the spoils on offer.

Harry had his moment s and managed to leave q few out there due to some less than stellar chipping and putting.  However, the highlight would have to have been the putt from the very back of the green on the 4th to sink it in the hole a bit over a metre from the front of the green for a birdie and an Eclectic point.  Brendon was pursuing everybody to find out how they were running and was calculating his chances of featuring for a point in the Championship.  In other circumstances, he probably would have cried shame for accepting points for 28 points but, today, he made an exception and gratefully, if not gracefully, accepted the last place point.  Six point-getters out of a field of nine – no names, no pack-drill – for those that missed out.

The Nearest the Pin competitions almost didn’t happen today.  The acting tee-marshal nominated the holes but did not get the markers from the front desk.  The leading group were detailed to pick them up after the 9th and, fortunately, they were reminded by the following group before they headed off down the fairway and Allan tootled back to the office on his trusty scooter to collect them.  The first ProPin was on the 12th and a couple of people got onto the green but none close enough to lay claim to the money and so there will be a Jackpot to next week.  Now, you would reckon that everybody should know that there is no distance requirement on the BallPin which was located on the 15th.  Stef claims that  he was confused by the several old claim slips in the box and that he thought that he had to be within distance.  The Beast also is reported to have hit the green but he had departed early and so fisticuffs were avoided when the ball was awarded to Stef.  The second ProPin on the 18 also went begging after six out of six in the last group missed the green and Joe’s shot from the front group was outside the distance limit.  A bit of an incentive to come along next week to pick up a few dollars.

Brendon was noted playing with a very fetching pink ball today.  Another player on the course had found one somewhere and very kindly offered it as a token of esteem (or something).  Anybody would have thought that Noodles was playing Bridge today and that Clubs were trumps.  It wasn’t playing cards that he was throwing around though.  Allan owned up to scoring a draughtie today on the 15th and not only did the ball not get to the red tee markers, it didn’t even get to the end of the top teeing area as it dribbled down the side to finish near to the 14th green.

SOS wasn’t able to play today as he was feeling a bit sore and sorry for himself after falling off a scooter and breaking a couple of ribs.  No laughing matter and SOS reckons he couldn’t laugh even if he wanted to.  Have a speedy recovery, SOS and we look forward to seeing you back on the tee before Christmas.  And, in a message to all members SOS says please pay your Club ($30) and GolfLink ($90) subs as soon as possible by direct deposit into the Club Account (details on the web-site if you don’t already have them).

In a similar vein, Gordon has to get deposits ($50 per person attending) in for the Annual Challenge at Rich River next October as a deposit has to be paid to Rich River shortly and we need to get the funds in.  These payments are also preferred to be by deposit into the bank account.  Changes of mind to non-attendance will be possible so it is best to get in and reserve a place rather than run the risk of missing out by leaving it too late.

Results for Saturday, 28 October 2017
1st Stefan Belevski(40) 2nd Joe Wagenecht(35) 3rd Bill Eastoe(32) 3rd Ryan Porker(32) 4th Harry Boughen(31) 5th Brendon Mitchell(28)

Seniors Results: 1st Bill Eastoe (32) 2nd Harry Boughen (31) 3rd Allan Davies (25)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 15th Stefan Belevski