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It was a bit Chrisp for the final of the Fred on 19 October 2019

I had to put my runners on to win this!

If you don’t like Melbourne weather, just hang around for five minutes, so the saying goes. Today was a bit like that. At quarter past six it bucketted down. At seven it was fine. At nine the sun shone and there were vague thoughts of removing layers. By ten it was cloudy and gusty. By eleven, there were wishes for more layers. And it all ended with sixteen people, hunched over like half open pocket knives, huddled around the barbeque. Not that there was much warmth to be had as the first group finished so far ahead of the second that the cooking was done and dusted before most of the field got in.

The course was in good nick again and there was not too much evidence of the ‘gravelly’ sand that was spread on the greens during the week. They are still running pretty fast and there was a mix of putts well past and some left teetering just short as players tried to adjust for the pace. At least the 14th pin was on a more level part of the green. All in all, no reason why somebody couldn’t have done a Bradbury to take out the trophy. We did have a ‘reverse’ Bradbury with Rob plummeting from his share of third place to take out the NARGA for the event.

As it turned out, the battle for the goodies was concentrated in the last group on the course and it was the steady, consistent performers that finished on the podium. And, in the end, the man of the moment was Chrispy, who is still preferring to carry his bag though he does sometimes wonder why he includes so many clubs. It seems that a push buggy is just too complicated for our Chris and he reckons that his switch to playing in runners has helped both his ankle and his game. So, it’s goodbye to the cushy handicap and, if the Birthday Birdie is to be believed, it will be goodbye to the junior ranks, but not until the start of the new season even though the birthday is this week. Before he can join, however, he has to learn the secret Seniors Handshake. The only problem is, nobody in the Seniors can remember what it is. Have a good one old fellah.

And, while the Birthday Birdie is at it, good wishes are also due to Enzo who adds another candle to the cake this week as well. The march of time (well it was only a week) did not affect Enzo’s game too much and he came in with one on the wrong side of the ledger to finish with a square card overall. Ken was looking a bit nervous around tee time and some offers were made of a supply of Butter Menthols but, as it turned out, the lozenges were not needed and Ken, too, finished all square to share second place with Enzo.

There seems to be a bit of a competition developing between Porks and Dave and, by dint of their matched scorecards last week, they were playing in the same group today. Lo and behold, they produced matching cards again today and so finished all tied up for third place with -2 overall.

SOS started the round in positive territory and didn’t put too many feet wrong to finish the first nine on +2. Another couple of pluses early on the back started to give him a sniff of a potential Bradbury run. A shank from the tee on the 15th started the rot and four consecutive losses had SOS reaching for the lozenges. The Beast doesn’t seems to be able to get it out of his head that he is no longer on ten and doesn’t get a stroke on the first any more and he obviously browbeat Enzo to change the final totals to agree what was on his card. Brendon and Blighty finished off the points gathering with their final tallies of -4.

On the day, Noodles, Porks and Dave had the best of the conditions with their +2 apiece. Brendon was just one point behind and that might have been different if he hadn’t changed sports to cricket on the 16th when he lunged at an out-swinger from the tee and skied it to an easy catch at point. Chrispy, SOS and Blighty had the next best with square. Blighty apparently managed a draughtie on the 18th but still managed to square the hole which is no mean feat with the pin up on the back deck. Ken also joined the draughtie club on an unspecified hole but for some reason he was taking a rain-check until next week when, it seems, that most of his playing companions won’t be playing. Cunning, what!

The first BallPin was on the 4th and it was quite a tricky target with the tee well back and the pin to the left side of the green. Not too tricky for Dave, though, as he collected himself yet another ball. The pin placement for the ball on the 18th proved too difficult for everybody and there will be a Jackpot to next week. The ProPin on the 15th fell to Jason at 3.8m and, yes, he is allowed to win even if he did not play last week. He didn’t get his birdie so this was not one of the nine that we scored as a group today.

As Rob was strolling down from the 10th tee he was telling a story about a ‘Tight-arse Tuesday’ visit to the drive-in many years ago. So intent on his tale-telling was Rob, that he strayed from the made path, slipped on the grassy slope, sat on his ‘Tight-arse’ and let go of his buggy which headed off down the slope and promptly capsized spilling all sorts of golfing paraphernalia as it went. SOS couldn’t decide which part of the episode was the funniest. Fortunately, the only thing injured was some pride. And, despite his ‘reverse Bradbury’ Rob was remarkably restrained the whole round. He also reckons we should change the term for halving a hole from square to ‘scab’ – because it helps to stop the bleeding!

The wind today could be a bit gusty at times and. while the cooks were working their magic on the barbeque, one particular gust carried away all sorts of bits and pieces including a large sheet of alfoil. Noodles took off after it and each time he reached for it, the wind gusted and took it further afield. In the end he chased it almost back down to the 16th green before he finally captured it. A bit of a change to chasing women.

Results for Saturday, 19 October 2019
1st Chris Priems(+1, □, +1) 2nd Ken Watson(+1, -1, □) 2nd Enzo Cirone(+1, -1, □) 3rd Ryan Porker(-4, +2, -2) 3rd David Mullenger(-4, +2, -2) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan(-3, □, -3) 4th Bill Eastoe(-2, -1, -3) 5th Brendon Mitchell(-5, +1, -4) 5th Andrew Blight(-4, □, -4)

Seniors Results: 1st Enzo Cirone (-1,1,0) 2nd Bill Eastoe (-1,-2,-3) 3rd Andrew Blight (□)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin15th Jason Hopkins BallPin No 1 4th David Mullenger BallPin No 2 18th Jackpot