All of the scores were under Par on 11 May 2019

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Enzo stymied
This tree needs a stake!

Well, what do you know? There has actually been a bit of rain and the fairways are already looking the better for it. Some were asking whether we were playing preferred lie and Porks had some trouble finding a mud encased ball in the drain to the left of the 6th green. The ducks seem to have a couple of favourite greens that are designated toilet facilities. And some hoon(s) took it upon themselves to do burn-outs on the 3rd green. Constable SOS took very close note of the track marks and applied his considerable forensic skills to make several guesses at the type of vehicle involved. The temporary green left a little to be desired although eight people of the twenty who played still managed to score in positive territory.

Nobody was more surprised than SOS with the way that he was playing. He was hitting fairways with great regularity and sinking putts like it was going out of style. At one stage he warned Harry to keep back for fear of one of his dreaded chip-shanks and proceeded to put it straight at the pin and about a metre away. He did wish that he knew what he did to make the shot. He also did admit to have taken a Sudafed before the game so a report to the appropriate authorities might be in order to dispute his event leading round of +5.

David managed to complete the round in 2 over par and, along the way, made four birdies which was a fair proportion of the 10 that the whole Club managed for the day. In the process, Dave managed to ‘rape’ Noodles in their matchplay and Noods reckons it should be an indictable offence. Noodles did not win a single hole until the match finally concluded at 6 and 4, the largest margin in the event to date.

Maybe the matchplay is bringing out the best in people because Ben managed to put himself in a prime position in the Leaderboard with his +3 while dealing with Dale in the match to take it out 2 and 1. After being +5 at the turn, Ben did admit to getting the shakes and it wasn’t down to last night’s excesses. Probably more for the concern as to what would happen to his handicap if he kept it up. A couple of points behind the leader is a good position to strike from, just enough to lull them into a false sense of security but not so far that it is a difficult catch.

Ken went out today and put together the best round of his short career with 98 off the stick and a miscalculated score of +2 rather than the square that was on the card. The difference was down to a missed two stroke hole and last week’s handicap. It always pays to check the Handicap Sheet, in a tougher school the incorrect handicap would have to stand (or be disqualified if the other direction). Last in the ‘potential’ point scorers was Mr Reliable, Targie.

The first BallPin today was on the 7th and Harry was quietly confident that his shot might hang out for the rest of the field. Unfortunately, Whitey came along and rained on the parade and collected the ball. The second BallPin was on the 18th top deck that can be a tough one to get but, not to be outdone, Whitey snared that one as well. The ProPin was on the 15th and there were a few that managed to get one onto the green but only one made it close enough to get their name on the card and that was Damien who seemed quite pleased with the dividend.

Whitey was spotted trudging back and forth along the 10th ‘looking for his phone’. SOS volunteered to ring it to see if it had been found and it turned out it had been – in Whitey’s golf bag! Go figure. Dennis has been complaining of late about his tendency to fade the ball but today he seems to have developed something of a ‘draw’. His drive from the 17th was last seen ricocheting off the wire canopy over the walking/bike trail and is probably now well on its way to Dight’s Falls. To try to salvage his par, he went for the green but, unfortunately, it seems that the ball did not quite make it that far.

Ken makes the draught(ie)
It sounded like a really good shot!

Despite Ken putting in a PB card, he did have one serious ‘mishap’ along the way. His tee shot from the 5th ‘sounded good’. Ken was peering down the fairway. Pepsi, who had his back turned dealing with some important equipment, was moved to say ‘Good shot’ sight unseen and couldn’t understand the laughter from the rest of the group. That’s enough of the words, a picture is worth a thousand! And that was the only draughtie for the day.

Chrispy was harping on again to the handicapper about a handicap review but Peps reckons he talked himself into it by having a feeling that ‘the wheels were about to fall off’ as they started off on the back nine. And fall off they did, with seven consecutive scores below the line. One of Damo’s shots was reported as heading into the ‘next course’ (not a bad trick as it is the other side of the river) when it did a ‘Priemsy’ and hit a tree to come back onto the correct fairway.

Bob reckons he was lucky to make it today as the alarm didn’t go off and if the dog hadn’t jumped onto the bed he wouldn’t have woken up in time. But his score wasn’t as bad as he thought as there seems to have been some pretty ordinary arithmetic-ing on the scorecard. Enzo did it pretty tough today and the picture at the top of the post pretty much says it all. However, the tree is a bit large to need a stake and he did manage to play a left handed putter shot to finish not too badly placed considering the location on the 11th. Porks spotted a crow raiding his golf bag after the game and flung whatever he had in his hand at the offending bird. Fortunately, Porks is left handed as he was holding his phone in his right hand. Ryan doesn’t remember the KitKat wrapper being in his bag but did admit that it could have been there for years.

Results for Saturday, 11 May 2019
Leaderboard Round 1: 1st Stephen O’Sullivan(+5) 2nd David Mullenger(+4) 3rd Ben Akdag(+3) 4th Ken Watson(+2) 5th Targe Mifsud(□)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Targe Mifsud (□) 2nd Harry Boughen (-1) 3rd Simon Powell (-3)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin15th Damien Lee BallPin No 1 7th Rodney White BallPin No 2 18th Rodney White