Month: August 2017

Everyone loves playing PAR on 26 August 2017

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Brother from another mother?

They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, (well he is not that old is he Targe??) however Michael it seems has joined the 21st century and picked up a new driver (second hand from Joe) and put it to good use with a very solid round to take out equal share of first place.  By his own account it has taken him some time to upgrade his irons and driver from those he was using from pre 2000’s. Not to be outdone however, Chris V played his first round for many months after looking after family duties and it seems the time off has paid off as he played an outstanding round to equal Michael on +3. He started like a man on a mission and par’d the first 6 or so holes on the trott!

Hot on their heels was Gordon who played a steady round of +2 to end up in outright second place. He managed an outstanding chip in on the 13th for birdie and was otherwise consistent all day. Matt Nichols was a couple back on -1 to take out 3rd place, Dennis Ward in 4th on -2 and last but not least Blighty and Matt Hunt, fresh from his devastation of losing the mustard jacket finalised the points positions.

There were a few punters who did not have the best day and almost cracked double figures of minuses. Michael was concerned about how Rob would go as he reckons every time he has had a good round, Rob has had a blinder and beaten him – not today. Rob was one who, had rumored to have had a draftie although the ball could not be found and as a result, no penalties given (of the beer kind). But Rob found another ball that he used for the rest of the round. Darklands Dennis was so unused to being out in the fresh air that he decided to take a fresh air shot on the first after almost not making it past the red markers on his first.  But he has been away for a while.

The ball pin was on the 12th and noodles somehow managed to put it close enough to take it out. No such luck for Bill however, who tried to claim one of the pro pins but was in fact more than 5m away. As a result, both were jackpots so lots of cash up for grabs next week.

DennisW was waiting for Targe to walk up the ramp and onto the 15th tee when it was suggested that he would have no trouble getting over his head.  He hit a magnificent drive on the 8th then skinnied his chip shot and put it onto the cyclepath.  The walkers handed it back apologising for it being covered in mud.

Harry had to apologise to the birdlife for all the ‘duck’ words he was using. Speaking of which, he is heading over to Europe for a month or so to get away from the cold drab of Ivanhoe.

Simon was so worn out by his week away in Sydney that he couldn’t drag himself to the course today. As ex-Challenge Mustard Jacket wearer, Matt H filled in very ably on the results announcements.  Matt N had to dash off to Caulfield to attend to some important punting.  Also spent some time in Far North Qld reporting on/investigating a murder mystery. Even when Ed is not playing with us, his voice and laugh still carries all over the course.

Results for Saturday, 26 August 2017
1st Michael Gourlay(+3) 1st Chris Vinecombe(+3) 2nd Gordon Hill(+2) 3rd Matt Nicholls(-1) 4th Dennis Ward(-2) 5th Andrew Blight(-3) 5th Matt Hunt(-3)

Seniors Results: 1st Gordon Hill (+2) 2nd Dennis Ward (-2) 3rd Andrew Blight (-3)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 12th Stephen Butterfield

Chalk and cheese for the Annual Challenge on 19 August 2017.

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Frosty frosty morning
Good King Wenceslas went out…

When Simon arrived at Ivanhoe, the carpark was empty and it was raining.  The prospect for golf looked grim as people packed up and headed home.  Advice from the ground staff was to putt between the puddles.  But, six members in all turned up and Simon got his wish to have a comp on the day despite Blighty pulling the pin with some rare and exotic medical condition.  On the other hand, up in Shepparton the skies were clear, Friday’s wind had dropped and frost lay all about, particularly on Sunday morning.  Nineteen contenders for the Mustard jacket blew into their palms and stomped their feet as they prepared themselves for the fray.

Meanwhile, at Ivanhoe, the rain eased a little and the secret six headed off to be beset by showers on and off for the duration of the front nine.  After that the weather improved a little but the course was still soggy and this might have had some little influence on the scores.  Simon started off well enough and was obviously not put off by the showery conditions making 19 points on the front nine.  He might have choked a bit (on his bacon sandwich) after the 9th as the scoring rate dropped away and he came home with the grand total of 32 points to take the top points for the day.  Simon also managed to score the ProPin on the 18th although the dividend would not buy too many bacon sandwiches.

The Beast, Ed and Dennis rolled in next with a score of 30 points.  Bill was a bit erratic and found some problems with the trees but he was able to stay away from the trees on the 15th and put his ball on the green close enough to win the jackpot ProPin and one of the best dividends of the day.  Eddie was steady and Dennis had a few shockers on what could have been a good card otherwise.  CraigC is not a mud runner if his score card is anything to go by with the front nine proving to be a bit of a struggle but things got better on the back with a win on the BallPin hole, the 12th.  The only ‘junior’ in the field, Joe, brought up the rear of the field but he still managed to get a couple of points for his trouble.

The baton passes
Try this on for size, young fellah!

Back up in sunny Shepparton, the fortunes were mixed, very mixed.  Matt was very confident that he was set to pull off the back to back and have to present himself with the Mustard Jacket.  He turned out at the Saturday night dinner resplendent in the jacket with matching slacks, tan shoes (but no pink laces) and a very fetching star spangled black shirt (but no polka dot vest).  He still oozed confidence that he could make a break from his middle of the field position to take out the young pretender, Brent, who lead the field after Saturdays round.  As it turned out, Brent was not to be denied.  There was a serious challenge from Michael who drew level at the 14th only to suffer a three point turn around on the 15th.  And, from there, Brent blitzed it to finish with a chip in for birdie on the 18th to take out the Challenge trophy with a total for the event of 72 points.

After the first day, Porks was only two points behind the leader despite suffering all day with a headache.  Application of some pain-killers on Sunday morning raised hopes of an improved performance but it was not to be with an equal card raising his total to 66 and leaving his position in second place.  Maybe it was Brendon’s late night advice that Ryan should ‘lower his standards’ that was taken the wrong way.  Not wanting to throw Tinder on the fire of course.  Still, he did putt well under pressure with Michael threatening to take his place with any putt that happened to slip past.

And so it was that Michael tried to blot the 15th hole from his memory.  He denied any recollection of it after Saturday and he would like to deny all recollection of it again on Sunday.  He thinks it unlikely that he could have matched Brent’s sprint to the line and consoles himself with the points that he got for his 3rd place.  The big improver on the day was Jason, who matched the best daily score and leapt well up the field to take the fourth spot on the podium.  Jason was going gang-busters until the 13th when somebody in the group commented on how well he was tearing the course apart.  He promptly gashed the next two holes.  A win was unlikely but a better placing was definitely on the cards.  And then there was Noodles who got himself fifth place with his 62 point total.  And that with a claim that he managed to put a ball into every bunker on the back nine.

nearly almost
Pretty close and pretty shoes.

There were a swag of ProPins on offer.  There were the usual on the par threes and a couple of nearest in two on the shorter par fours.  Now the exact disposition of the largesse is lost to your intrepid reporter but the list of winners included Michael, Brent, Gordon, Ryan, Matt, Chris Woods-Day and Noodles.  Most were not that close but there was one that went very close and that one came from the club of Brendon and if you can bear to look a little to the left you will see just how close and Brendon’s shoes as well.

The course description said ‘a long iron to the bend gives an easy shot to the green’.  Not sure which universe that is in but the 15th defied all efforts to get on in two and so it was decided to draw lots from those who missed out on a ‘real’ ProPin.  The lucky duckies to collect the left over moolah were SOS and JohnQ

There was also a ‘secret six’ competition with random holes being selected by the ladies present.  Perhaps not surprising, considering his consistent and good form, both dividends went the Brent although there was only a third of a stroke or so in it.

There is one more trophy that is awarded for the week-end and that is for the ‘bugger’ (won’t use the other word that is often heard) shot of the round and there was no shortage of contenders.  There was the usual collection of draughties by Mehmet, Rob, Harry, SOS and Matt.  Harry’s was notable by finishing between two protective fences after a ricochet from a tree.  There was a shot by SOS out of a bunker on the 18th that finished on the roof of the Clubhouse.  And JohnQ scored a hat-trick of bunkers around the green at the 18th.  But the one to take the prize was the second shot of the whole weekend when Mehm’s ball went about as high as JohnQ and as far as Targe from the 10th tee on Saturday with 18 other players watching on.

The santa ana couch was generally voted to be nice to play on despite being rather bleached by the cold and frost.  However, some, including SOS still had to resist an urge to take preferred lies and a chance to clean the ball.  SOS reckons it would be good for four or five strokes off the score.  If he could combine that with Noodles eight strokes for staying on the fairway, SOS could easily be a scratch golfer.

SOS bags it.
Who said I couldn’t do it again?

On one hole, Chrispy was advised not to go right.  If nothing else, Chris is famous for his ‘power fade’ so, short of taking on Shepparton’s array of fairly tall trees, it would have been advice that was hard to follow.  Chrispy reckons that he needs a break from golf and that we won’t be seeing him for a while, at least, not this Saturday.

Now everybody knows that SOS managed to get a hole in one back at Ivanhoe a week or so ago.  And, over the weekend, SOS managed to do it again.  Except that it wasn’t exactly his first shot on the hole and it wasn’t exactly the hole in the green that he managed to tuck the ball into.  Here is a reprise of the earlier picture but showing the different location – in JohnQ’s bag.

Most gathered at the RSL for dinner of Friday night and a good time was had by all although some found the size of the meal servings a bit overwhelming.  There was a modicum of alcohol consumed and, as is often the case some beer was spilled.  However, Jason was not satisfied with spilling his own beer, he managed to spill a whole table full.

After the game on Saturday, there was another gathering at the RSL.  There were a couple of reasons.  The Golf Club was taken over by a massive wake for a local identity and there was a TAB facility at the RSL.  JohnQ organised the Punters Club and did a great job except for a couple of incidents where two horses in the same race were backed or somebody picked a horse that John did not like. The main bone of contention was when Stef backed a horse for the Club and took another horse in the same race on his own account and cleaned up big.  Mehmet took out a multi on the football and Brendon had some sort of a bet that involved the All Blacks but it seems that neither of those got up despite assurances that the combinations picked couldn’t lose.  At the end of the day, there was money in the kitty to be handed back to the members.  This is a better result that last year when Pepsi took a hand in deciding the punts that were made.

The meal at the Golf Club left a little to be desired with the beef dish in particular causing some comment.  Mehm got the hungers during the night and ordered in a pizza (probably not an hawaiian) to get himself through ’til morning.  On the other hand, the meat and salads provided for the bar-be-que lunch on Sunday were voted to be exemplary with a lot of credit due to Bobbie who slaved diligently to ensure that the meat was cooked to perfection and almost to the extent of missing out on a feed for himself so hungry were the vultures (and kiwis).  A secret vote was taken to appoint Bob to the position of Club Chef in perpetuity.

Results for Saturday, 19 August 2017
1st Simon Powell(32) 1st Brent Rowley(35, 37, 72) 2nd Bill Eastoe(30) 2nd Ed Kloprogge(30) 2nd Ryan Porker(33, 33, 66) 2nd Dennis Ward(30) 3rd Craig Cameron(28) 3rd Michael Gourlay(32, 33, 65) 4th Jason Hopkins(26, 37, 63) 4th Joe Wagenecht(26) 5th Stephen Butterfield(35, 27, 62)

Seniors Results: 1st Simon Powell (32) 1st Targe Mifsud (32) 2nd Bill Eastoe (30) 2nd Dennis Ward (30) 2nd Ed Kloprogge (30) 2nd Gordon Hill (30) 3rd Allan Davies (28) 3rd Craig Cameron (28)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Bill Eastoe ProPin No 2 18th Simon Powell BallPin 12th Craig Cameron


Lots of heat but not much light for a Par Competition on 12 August 2017.

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Dem shades!
If I was any cooler I’d be an iceberg!

For some reason, handicapping was a hot topic of conversation around the Club today.  Which is a bit of a pity because we should have been busy wishing a swag of people Happy Birthday.  That is, we could have if they had been here.  The Birthday Birdie reports that celebrations are forthcoming for Brendon (today actually) as well as el Pres JohnQ and ChrisV.  Brendon did turn up late to hand his clubs over to Chrispy for the trip to Shep and quietly dropped that this was the day.  JohnQ is out of town and we haven’t seen Chris for a little while but like Arnie – he’ll be back.

There were a few showers passing through early this morning and maybe this was enough to put a few people off so we only had a field of fifteen today and one of our longer term members was commenting that this was the wettest he had seen the course.  Maybe his memory is failing him.  He reckons his golf is and that he might just drive the drinks cart up at Shep next weekend.  Come on Chrispy, at least you didn’t get the NARGA.

The going obviously wasn’t too soft for Brent who spent a lot of time explaining how this was the first time in a long time that he had played three weeks in a row.  The practice obviously has paid off because he was easily able to exceed the early predictions that a square round would be enough to win the day.  A plus three score-card and the winners penalty was enough to bring his handicap closer to where it should be if he can get his left-handers slice under control.  There was one major aberration when he severely  topped a drive, almost driving the ball into the ground and moving it only a metre or so from its starting point.  This also happened to be well short of the red markers and counted as a draughtie.  Ryan also fell victim to the draughtie syndrome on two occasions and a number of members are keen to be grouped with Porks next weekend as rumour has it that there are some largish distances from the back markers to the reds at Shep.

There were a few people hot on the tail of Brent and three of them tied it up for second place just a stroke behind with +2.  Harry took about four holes to start warming up and looked to be somewhat out of the race after the front nine.  A veritable blitzkreig on the back nine was a complete contrast leading to accusations that don’t bear mentioning.  Jason has been getting in some practice on Thursdays and that is standing him in good stead to join in on the second podium spot.  Ed, on the other hand, started strongly with  +2 on the front but faded a bit on the back to maintain that score to the end.

Noodles was pretty steady right through the round with no disasters to speak of though he was heard to express his displeasure at one stage.  There was at least one highlight when he was able to but his drive on the 18th to 4.57m of the pin on the 18th which was enough to collect him the ProPin for that hole on the day..  Simon lined up for a coaching session during the week and after about six holes he was all fired up to buy the coach a bottle of bubbly for fixing his game.  A pair of square nines put him on a par with Noodles.

Now, Snags is not somebody that we see very often due to his commitments to keep the public transport system operating and on time but he did suggest that if the records were checked they would show that, the last eight times that he has played, he has been in the points every time.  The records weren’t checked so the claim cannot be confirmed at this stage but he certainly made the grade for this round with his -1 card.  He certainly showed that some of his fine touch had not been left on the buses and he took great delight in not letting Chrispy forget it.  If there was a low-light in the round it would have to be the three chips that it took to get onto the 18th green from the grass bunker at the front of the green.  Targe and Bob, who was barely heard, were able to match Snags, at least on the score card.

Then there was a 2 point gap to the final place with Dennis and MattN filling the final spot on the podium.  Which left a mere four people out of the points on the day.  No names, no packdrill.  Michael, it must be said was not at all pleased about his 67% miss rate from 1.5m or less with the flat stick.  The Beast held the view that his group losing two balls on the 1st was not a good omen.  Chrispy had as good as a gimme on the 18th and he went to tap it in with his ‘not so’ trusty collingwood putter.  The club did hit the ball but it was so much on the top of the ball that the ball did not move from its position.  Not a bad trick.  So desperate was Chrispy that he changed his ball at least three times during the round.  He did express the view that he preferred using the pink Volvic although the word that he was using conjured up and entirely different image with the listener.  Or maybe he wasn’t talking about the ball at all.

The first ProPin was on the 15th.  The tee was not particularly far back and the conditions were generally benign so it is with some surprise that it must be reported that nobody got within the required closeness to the pin and so there will be a jackpot to the next week.  The BallPin was on the 12th and Simon was very relieved to discover that nobody was able to get closer than he did.

Next week is the Annual Challenge weekend and a fair number of members are travelling to Shepparton to contest the highly regarded Mustard Jacket event.  There will be golf at Ivanhoe with a competition if there are more than six members playing.  Those planning to play at Ivanhoe should notify, either via the Registration page or by sending an email to Simon or Harry so that we know in advance how many players to expect.  Please!

Results for Saturday, 12 August 2017
1st Brent Rowley (+3) 2nd Harry Boughen (+2) 2nd Jason Hopkins (+2) 2nd Ed Kloprogge (+2) 3rd Stephen Butterfield (□) 3rd Simon Powell (□)

4th Bob McDonald (-1) 4th Targe Mifsud (-1) 4th Craig Sharp (-1) 5th Matt Nicholls (-3) 5th Dennis Ward (-3)

Seniors Results: 1st Ed Kloprogge (+2) 1st Harry Boughen (+2) 2nd Simon Powell (□) 3rd Bob McDonald (-1) 3rd Targe Mifsud (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Stephen Butterfield BallPin 12th Simon Powell

Somebody actually won the August Monthly Medal on 05 August 2017

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SOS with his last ball
This is what you call a 13 to 1 shot!
Sobriety wins the day
Dry July done, now for no limit August!

Now, you would reckon that a person who had 14 strokes on the last two holes would have precious little to smile about.  Well, you would reckon wrongly.  Just have a look at the pic on the right.  With the last shot for the Club on the day, SOS managed to put his drive from the 18th onto the green, it rolled up the slope almost to the top deck and then turned around and trickled back down and into the hole.  SOS didn’t see it and when he couldn’t see his ball on the green, his first thought was – surely not another lost ball.  In the process, he managed to collect A) a hole in one, B) the Eagles Nest, C) the double Jackpot for the 18th Hole ProPin.  SOS doesn’t enter the inside comp very often so he missed out on repeating the effort for the management event.  As for the 13 strokes that he racked up on the 17th.  Let’s just say that it was starting to look like he would be able to walk across the pond to the green, he put so many balls into it.  His ball for the 18th was so shabby, he was reluctant to hand it over for incorporation into his HIO trophy.  This assumes that Gordon doesn’t manage to misplace it.  And maybe SOS will rue having the scorecard immortalised as well given that he also collected the NARGA for the day.

There is probably plenty more that could be said about SOS but that would be unfair to the real golfers, 19 in all (not including SOS) who played for the Medal today.  Sobriety might very well have been the fillip that Brendon needed to get himself back into the winners circle and he managed to play exactly to his handicap with only one or two suspicious scores on his card.  But he was so enthusiastic about making up for his Dry July that he rushed inside and got himself a Fat Yak ‘on the tab’ even though one had not been set up.  The main reason he was smiling was that the girls inside asked who the ‘young’ chap was that had the beer on the tab.

Ed was heard loud and clear on the first tee this morning but after that he seems to have gone very quiet.  Perhaps he was concentrating on his game as he was able to come in just a stroke behind Brendon to take out second place.  The first ProPin was on the 12th hole, and Ed put his drive to 1.95m from the pin and remained unbeaten by the rest of the field at the end of the day.  He slotted the putt for the birdie and contributed in a small way to the total of 8 that we managed for the day.  Just one stroke behind with a pair of 70s were Michael and Harry.  Michael was less than happy with the performance of his ‘Essendon’ putter on a couple of occasions though he reckons it does have a few runs on the board after his Matchplay against Pepsi.  Harry also thought he could have played better but there are signs that the short game coaching could pay dividends in the near future.

Noodles was in a group of three today and so he had no excuse of losing concentration by waiting around.  Instead, he complained about the time he had to wait for the groups of four to come in after he had finished.  He finished with a nett 72 to take out fourth place in concert with MattH.  Now Matt said that he was pleased that he had missed his eagle putt on the 17th but, if that is the case, then he can’t be too pleased about the fact that he only scored a par on the hole.  Gordo is blaming Ed for an injury that he suffered by walking into a wire fence and gashing his knee.  The detail of why this was so is lost in the mists of time.  Fortunately somebody had a Band-Aid and there is no blood-rule so Gordon could finish the round to nett 73 of the best and take out the final point on offer for the day.

The BallPin was on the 15th and the man of the moment was Brent who managed to squeeze out Rob for the ball.  Brent has been off gallivanting the world in general and the US of A in particular.  Disneyland was one of the highlights and he went on every ride.  They also went to Lost Wages but we didn’t hear whether he got taken for a ride there.  And, speaking of Rob, he managed to go close to driving the green on the 14th but could only manage a 6 for the hole.  One view had it that Rob could have had a hole-in-one and still had four putts.  Ryan had a staff function to go to last night and he was unsure as to whether he would make it.  But, make it he did, and he used his hang-over as an excuse.

There were three draughties today and they all resulted from bounce-backs.  Dennis managed two of them and he was noticeably nervous on any hole where the white markers were well back and the red markers were well forward.  This was particularly so when Michael made a point of pointing the fact out.  The third one was a definite aberration with Pepsi falling victim on the 17th.

For the first time in a while, the Birthday Birdie has to get out of his bean-bag and spread some good wishes for the coming week.  Harry will be a little closer to playing his age as he tallies up another year on the planet.

The Annual Challenge is just around the corner and Gordon will be notifying details in the coming week.  Everybody has been advised of the possibility of there being two competitions on that weekend and we would like to get some idea of who will be playing of those not attending the Annual Challenge so that we can give the management  a heads up on the number of tee slots required at Ivanhoe.

Results for Saturday, 05 August 2017
1st Brendon Mitchell(68) 2nd Ed Kloprogge(69) 3rd Harry Boughen(70) 3rd Michael Gourlay(70) 4th Stephen Butterfield(72) 4th Matt Hunt(72) 5th Gordon Hill(73)

Seniors Results: 1st Ed Kloprogge (69) 2nd Harry Boughen (70) 3rd Gordon Hill (73)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Ed Kloprogge ProPin No 2 18th Stephen O BallPin 15th Brent Rowley

Hole in One Results: Hole in One 18th *** Stephen O’Sullivan ***